Chapter Text
Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight,
Tonight, tonight, so bright
Tonight
Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
*************
Guillermo had reread the note at least six times throughout the day. The first time, tears had sprung to his eyes and he’d wiped them away quickly, feeling like a lovesick fool. After that, each time he read those childishly-scribbled words, his heart grew bigger and bigger until his chest felt ready to burst. He’d run his fingers lightly over the ink, over the places Nandor’s clenched fist must have rested as he struggled getting the pen under control in his big hand. What had the vampire been thinking as he scrawled those words? Had he tucked Guillermo into bed and then watched him as he’d admitted to doing; sitting at his feet or stretched out beside him? And after that, did he go sit down with a blank piece of paper and wrestle for hours over what he was going to write? Or did the words flow naturally – albeit full of spelling errors and preschool-level handwriting? Guillermo desperately wanted to know all of it.
The letter was tucked safely away in his top drawer beside his underwear; but he knew he’d soon have to retrieve it and confront the vampire who, in his intoxicated state, had left it on his ex-familiar’s bedside table. And that idea cast a big blanket of anxiety over all the other emotions that had been building in him throughout his day.
The day had been blessedly uneventful, at least. Guillermo had spent it doing his usual familiarly chores; he may not have technically been a familiar anymore, but the house wasn’t going to clean itself. And he needed human food. He left his grocery-store outing until last; long after the truth potion had worn off. It was late afternoon when he snuck into Nandor’s room to fetch some money from the money dish. The vampire had been snoring softly, but his acute sense of hearing picked up the soft clinking of coins and the rustling of bills and he stirred.
“Guillermo?” he slurred drowsily; his voice muffled by the coffin’s walls.
Guillermo froze on the spot and squeaked out a, “Yes, Nandor?”
“He's in a boy band, which doesn't make much sense for a snake,” the vampire mumbled, and then began to snore again.
Guillermo choked on a giggle, strangely relieved, and pocketed the cash before slinking out the door and into the candlelit hallway. He walked to the Stop & Shop half a dozen blocks away and stocked up on frozen meals, drinks, snacks, toilet paper, and whatever else he could squeeze into his basket. At some point he found himself standing in the health aisle, directly in front of a shelf stocking condoms and lubricants and massage oils. His face heated up as he thought back to the night before, and Nandor’s note. He’d said he wanted to be with him; that he wanted to try to make it work. And on top of everything else, that opened up endless opportunities for intimacy.
Before he knew what he was doing, Guillermo snatched up the nearest bottle of massage oil and dropped it into his basket. He tried inhaling and exhaling slowly through his nose to cool his face down, but he felt jittery, as if something was going to come jumping out from behind a corner any moment now to frighten him.
The young man at the checkout tried to initiate conversation, though Guillermo couldn’t tell if that was because he was suspicious of his flighty behaviour or just bored. In any case, Guillermo was in an even less talkative mood than usual, so when the checkout guy asked how his day had been, he simply hummed and shrugged…and all but dashed out the automatic doors with his two bags in tow.
He raced the setting sun home, but it was dark by the time he arrived and pushed through the front door. He heard voices – Laszlo’s and Nadja’s – drifting out from the fancy room, and part of him hoped that Nandor was still…
He was awake.
The vampire stood tall and imposing in the main foyer, scratching the back of his head, his brow furrowed as if he’d forgotten where he’d put something. Guillermo stepped into the light and cleared his throat, startling him.
“Guillermo!” he said loudly, spinning on his heels to face his ex-familiar. “Where were you? I was very worried. I thought you had left us again.” His words surprised Guillermo, who raised his eyebrows; but the vampire’s tone was no less contemptuous as usual.
“All my stuff is still in my room,” Guillermo replied slowly, averting his gaze as he circled around him to get to the staircase. “I was just at the store.”
“Well I didn’t know that!” Nandor spat. “You could have left a note!”
Guillermo’s heart gave a quick leap in his chest. He rarely left notes when he went out, and Nandor had never complained before…was he indirectly referring to his own note? Had he expected one back? No, Guillermo told himself sternly, he just needs something to complain about. And it’s becoming more and more difficult now that I’m not his familiar. That realisation had him stewing a little.
“Did you buy me a surprise?” Nandor piped up again, his attention turning to the plastic bags.
Guillermo had almost made it safely to the staircase. He sighed and turned around, tactfully hiding the bags behind his back. “No, I didn’t.”
“Not even the glowy sticks?”
“How was I supposed to know you wanted glowsticks?” His voice came out more exasperated than intended. Nandor pouted in reply and then snatched a hand out, fast as lightning, to yank one of the bags out of his hand. “Hey!” Guillermo cried, but his human arms were too slow to catch him. This was nothing new…Nandor always expected some kind of absurd little gift from the store, but Guillermo’s brain had been so addled he hadn’t thought about it.
Nandor shook the bag like a child shaking a gift on Christmas eve, then he took a peek inside. “Pizza rolls? Eggos? I can’t eat human food, Guillermo! Nor can I play with shaving foam and—” he stuck a hand into the bag and pulled out a dark blue bottle, “—Tro-jan. Lub-ri-cant.—”
Guillermo groaned internally. That wasn’t the bottle I picked up, was it?
“All right, Gizmo?” Laszlo greeted, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
That’s it. I’m going to die. Please God, strike me down before this gets any worse.
Nandor was still sounding out the words. “—Sexy. Feeling. Message. Oil.” He looked up at his ex-familiar, his mouth twisted in an almost frightened grimace. “Did you get more truth potion, Guillermo?”
Laszlo tilted his head back and guffawed. “That’s no truth potion, chap.”
“Give me that,” Guillermo snapped, and snatched it out of the confused vampire’s grip. He ducked his head and quickly made his way up to his room, leaving Laszlo to whatever sage advice he was planning to instil on his fellow vampire.
Guillermo was so flustered, he took no notice of what he was doing as he stuffed his frozen meals into the bar fridge and put everything else away – that is, until his hand groped the bottle of lube at the bottom of the bag and reality came rushing back in. His eyes flittered briefly over the words that Nandor had read out, then he stuffed it quickly into his top drawer and recoiled as if it had burnt him. That was when he saw the note. He’d presently forgotten all about it and his idea to approach Nandor in his embarrassment.
That said, Nandor acting his usual demanding, childish self was probably a good sign. At least he wasn’t avoiding him like Guillermo had half expected. He had even expressed concern about waking up and not finding his faithful ex-familiar there. Guillermo smiled, warming at the memory, and the chagrin slowly dissolved away. He snatched up the folded note decidedly and tucked it into his palm, then made his way down to the foyer. He kept his breathing even and willed his hands not to shake; if the nerves got hold of him now, he’d turn straight back around and go back to his room and put the note away and then what? Likely it would never be mentioned again. Guillermo couldn’t have that. He needed to sort this out, not only for himself but for Nandor, who was probably just as reluctant to put his heart on his sleeve and face the possibility of rejection.
There’s no other option, Guillermo told himself, and that realisation gave him more confidence than anything else. Descending the stairs, he could already see that the foyer was empty; but Nadja’s voice came ringing out of the fancy room, so Guillermo decided to try there for Nandor. The vampires in this household (minus Colin Robinson) were like a small flock of hens: constantly hungry, fiercely sassy, powerful as a unit but utterly useless by themselves. In other words, they stuck together – follow the clucking of one, and you’d more than likely find the others.
As expected, Nadja’s voice led him to Nandor and Laszlo as well. Laszlo was sprawled out on one of the antique lounges, his legs stretched out to make the most of every inch of cushion available. He rested a hand gently on his forehead, his fingers rubbing at it as though he suffered a migraine. Nadja was standing adjacent, holding a few sheets of old paper and humming along to whatever music was printed on them. Nandor sat in the corner by the desk – the same desk he probably sat at last night to write his note. He’d dragged the chair out from behind the desk though, and leaned an elbow against the surface, resting his head on his hand. From the feigned looks of interest on his and Laszlo’s faces, Guillermo must have walked in on one of Nadja’s routine singing rehearsals.
Nandor’s passive face did little to hide the overstrung air that bounced around him. He was exuding nervous energy, and Guillermo felt it immediately, even before the vampire seemed to notice him. Nadja and Laszlo ignored Guillermo as he slipped past and headed for Nandor. He was hardly aware of how painfully clenched his teeth were as he struggled to keep his hands steady and his head clear of doubt. He kept his eyes above Nandor’s head, but he could see him from the corner of his eye; he was looking at Nadja, but his body seemed to stiffen more and more the closer Guillermo came. That few feet he had to walk in order to reach him felt more like a few miles.
But at the same time, he arrived at the seated vampire far too quickly. And although Nandor was still looking away, his jaw jutted slightly forward as if he, too, were clenching his teeth, Guillermo could still feel two other pairs of eyes on the back of his head, and it made him all the more uneasy.
“Mas—Nandor?” Guillermo bit back the former title, inwardly cursing himself. Nandor at least had the grace to look up at him now. “Can we talk?” He hesitated a moment, trying to read the passive expression on the vampire’s face. “A-alone?”
They both glanced at Nadja, who had stopped her humming and was now watching them. All they could see of Laszlo were his elbow and the tips of his shoes. “Nadja is doing an important…rehearsal thing,” Nandor explained, gesturing to her.
“Well, this is important,” Guillermo entreated. He gave Nandor a pointed look, but the vampire was avoiding his gaze now. He tried to ignore the dread that was slowly pressing in on his chest as he lightly tossed the folded note on the desk. Nandor attempted to keep his expression stolid, but his poker faces had always been awful. Guillermo saw right through it.
“Nadja? Laszlo?” the vampire said slowly. “Can you please leave us a moment?”
Nadja made a face, though there was a curious look in her eyes. Laszlo groaned from the lounge but didn’t move. “If you need a moment, you and Gizmo can step out. I’m trying to watch my lady wife--”
“Out!” Nandor roared, jumping to his feet and slamming his palm on the desk. Only Guillermo jumped. Nadja rolled her eyes and pouted.
“All right, all right.” Laszlo lazily rose from the lounge and stretched before muttering, “Calm your dead tits.” He followed his wife out of the room, glancing back once to give Guillermo a look; one the man couldn’t decipher. Nandor was rubbing his sore palm on his thigh as he sat back in the chair, a grimace on his face. He gingerly touched the piece of paper, ready to recoil should it bite him. As he unfolded it, Guillermo could almost hear the cogs in his head begin their lazy, irregular rotations. He shoved his trembling hands in the pockets of his jacket and braced himself.
Nandor opened the letter, pretended to read it for a second, and then dropped it on the desk. “Do you think I wrote that?” he scoffed.
Guillermo raised his eyebrows. Two could play this game. “You didn’t write it?”
“Of course I didn’t!” Nandor said defensively. “It must have been Laszlo, or someone.” He flicked a hand dismissively toward the piece of paper, but Guillermo could see straight through the façade. He plucked the letter off the desk and refolded it.
“Oh, well in that case I better go talk to Laszlo—”
“No!” Nandor cried, and lunged for the letter. Guillermo had calculated his next move and managed to jump out of his way. Now they were both standing, facing each other, Guillermo hiding the letter behind his back.
Nandor sighed, defeated. “Okay, yes, I wrote the letter.” He perked up suddenly and pointed a finger at his ex-familiar’s chest. “But you drugged me! That was a very mean thing to do, Guillermo.”
“You knew you were being drugged!” Guillermo shot back.
“Yes, but you didn’t know that, and you didn’t ask my permission!” He poked the man in the chest, and Guillermo bristled. Why did Nandor make this so difficult for him? For them both?
“It was a truth potion,” he said evenly, forcing eye contact. “Which means everything you said last night was the truth. Everything in this letter in the truth.”
Nandor pouted. “Well maybe I thought it was all true at the time, because I was drugged!”
“You’re being childish, Nandor.”
“No, you are!” But Nandor’s voice was hesitant, and Guillermo rolled his eyes. He brought the letter back into view.
“So this means nothing, then?” he asked bitterly. He wasn’t believing a word of it, but there was no other direction he could possibly take right now, aside from leaving the room. And he didn’t want to leave yet. He wanted to get this sorted one way or another.
Nandor’s expression was one he had seen before. That wide-eyed, grimacing, uncertain face; that same face he’d worn while telling Guillermo he should take Celeste’s offer. That had seemed like a lifetime ago; not just a few weeks.
“No,” he said finally, the words barely escaping his partly-closed lips.
As certain as Guillermo was that the vampire was literally lying through his teeth, the word still stung, and he found himself suddenly blinking back tears. “Okay, fine,” he said, and with shaky, reluctant hands he began to tear the letter into strips.
“Hey!” Nandor made to lunge forward but stopped himself with a jerk, and watched in dismay as the letter became confetti.
Guillermo jutted his jaw. “Well, if the letter doesn’t mean anything--”
“That was my best drawing of John!” Nandor complained, and Guillermo rolled his eyes again and threw the bits of paper into the fire. He heard Nandor huff, and when he spun back around, the vampire was gone, his only trace the gentle rippling of curtains in the doorway.
Guillermo heard Nadja call Nandor’s name in vain, and a moment later she was back in the room with Laszlo in tow.
“What was that about?” she asked, her curiosity piqued. Guillermo was too choked up to reply so he simply shrugged and tried to hide his tears. “Oh!” Nadja continued, completely oblivious. “I bet this is about that truth potion. This is why you should not trust potions. There are always regrets the next day.”
Laszlo put a gentle hand on his wife’s shoulder, but his eyes were on Guillermo. “Darling, would you go check on the armadillo taxidermy? I think I heard a noise coming from our room.”
Nadja groaned. “What is it with all these secrets, now? Do you really think I’m that stupid, Laszlo?” But still she left, muttering the entire way.
Laszlo reclined on one of the sofas facing the fireplace and crossed his legs.
“What was the note about, boy?”
Guillermo was still standing by the fireplace, hands in his pockets, the tears drying in his eyes.
Laszlo stuck up a hand before he could reply. “Wait! Don’t tell me. It was from Nandor, confessing his undying love for you while three sheets to the wind, and now he’s hungover and denying the whole thing?”
Guillermo blanched. “H-how did you know?”
“Because Nandor is bloody predictable, that’s how,” Laszlo retorted. He beckoned to Guillermo silently with his hand. Guillermo lingered for a moment, uncertain, but then met him on the lounge, keeping to the opposite end. He was half expecting Laszlo to scold him and tell him to sit on another lounge, but the vampire leaned over and spoke in a low voice. “Look, chap, usually I couldn’t give any less of a fuck about your and Nandor’s…whatever it is you have going on. But I’m getting tired of all the pussyfooting and sexual tension between the two of you. You’re both stinking up the house with your low spirits, and my good lady wife won’t stop whining about it."
Guillermo eyed the vampire warily. “Okay…” he said at length.
“Frankly, the sooner you two start screwing, the better,” he continued. There was a sudden sparkle in his eye that Guillermo didn’t like, and when he spoke again, his voice was even lower. “Gizmo, I think I know a way to win him over.”