1 - 20 of 543 Works in Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    If you want the rewards of having all your lascivious sexual fantasies fulfilled, you have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known as a vampirefucker.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,891
    Chapters:
    1/13
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    34
  2. Tags
    Summary

    How Nandor (hired/met/seduced/rescued) Guillermo

    - x - x - x - x

    Nandor couldn't fathom taking someone's life and then making them agree to an eternity together. That's what his familiars wanted when they begged to be killed. Nandor couldn't bear more than a decade of them. Centuries would be pushing it.

    The best quality in a familiar was someone who wasn't actually looking ahead to centuries of existence. Someone who treated human life as fragile and disposable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,227
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    182
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After Nandor and Nadja fall in love (which they seem to do every few decades, only for it to end in tears), Laszlo decides to travel to Pennsylvania, don his blue jeans, and become Jackie Daytona again! Only this time, he reluctantly takes a lovesick human dumpling and a mind-numbing energy vampire along for the ride. Once in Clairton, he sets up a new bar generously donated to him by some guy he drank, and revisits some old friends. Eventually he finds himself falling for Guillermo, oh no. Also Colin finds love. Drinks are on Jackie!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,992
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1348
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo appreciates Nandor's nude form while he's supposed to be washing clothes. Things go wrong and then right.
    Light fluff with some explicit description of Nandor's nakedness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    34
    Hits:
    145
  5. Tags
    Summary

    " Guillermo met his eyes across the courtyard, and for a moment the human was grave and resolute as a warrior in battle, resigned to his fate yet defiant to its circumstances. For a moment Nandor imagined this meeting as the start of a war rather than a courtship, and for that moment he felt as if he'd found his footing again.

    But then the human had done something outrageous.

    Then the human had smiled. "

    In the end, when all was said and done, the marriage of Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo de la Cruz would be remembered as a pivotal and defining moment in the history of human and vampiric society alike.

    In the beginning, however, it was mostly just a mess.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,836
    Chapters:
    47/?
    Comments:
    1630
    Kudos:
    816
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    17038
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo spent years on her greatest creation - a statue of the woman who haunted her dreams for years. If only her dreams were real.

    Inspired by the myth of Pygmalion

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,541
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    125
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Guillermo! You'll catch your death walking around in wet clothes. You'll stain the floors dripping water everywhere."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    100
  8. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    58
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Death comes slowly for Guillermo (love is an entirely different sort of monster.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,230
    Chapters:
    6/13
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    808
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo finds out that there is RPF written about him and the vampires and based on the documentary. Reading it rekindles old feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,129
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    157
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I am Nandor of Al Quolanudar, the greatest empire of the east that ever was, who turned the rivers red with the double edge of my sword--well, it was the greatest empire of the whole world, really. Those Romans built pathetic walls. But I am a lord of war and I will not settle for the blood of non-virgins like a--like a latrine maid for the convenience of my human familiar who wastes the hours of daylight sleeping and smacking his lips!”

    Guillermo shoots upright with a glare. “I don’t smack my lips!”

    “Yes, yes, you do, Guillermo, you go like this--” And of course Nandor must prove his point, because he is an excellent orator, he is the paragon of persuasive speaking, so he launches into a graphic demonstration of what he believes his overly sensual familiar to be doing in the middle of his luxurious and completely unnecessary nappings.

    --
    Nandor barges into Guillermo's room to demand more virgin blood. Poor Guillermo just wants to go back to listening to his ASMR.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    138
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo stands in the corner of the crypt, Barry the Boar looming over his shoulder with that eternal grin. He’s a respectful distance from the chaise where Nandor straddles a human victim, lapping up blood pulsing from the bite wound. Far enough away to give Nandor the illusion of privacy, but close enough to assist in case of an inconvenient struggle. 

    Nandor doesn’t mind a bit of a fight from his prey when he’s out on a hunt. But there are nights like this one when he simply prefers a quiet meal at home.
    ---
    Nandor has Guillermo for dessert.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,744
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    358
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “Just give us thirty days. Please, that’s all we’re asking for.” Guillermo was near pleading now for some way out of this mess.

    Tilda looked between all of them, then locked eyes with Guillermo before nodding. “Very well. You have thirty days. If in that time you can provide indisputable proof of the entire Hustler house’s disappearance and show us footage of the baron’s death, you will all walk free, but you must provide both pieces of evidence.”

    “And if we cannot do that?” Nandor asked. “What happens then?”

    “Then this council’s previous ruling from your trial stands as is,” she replied. “I’m sorry but if you cannot do that, then we cannot let you go.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,132
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    155
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2450
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo is looking intently at the scroll. ¨I´m gonna ask for this night off and go to the ball,¨ he says, ¨You want to come too?¨

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,109
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    84
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor and Guillermo kiss and talk about their newly minted relationship post the ouveau Théâtre des Vampires incident.

    Technically a follow up to the first part of this collection, but can be read completely stand alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    729
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    122
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor and Guillermo have a little talk after the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires incident.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    426
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    124
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The vampires (+human and werewolf) are forced to work with unlikely allies to save each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,262
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    562
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A bit of fluff where Guillermo and Nandor hold hands and Guillermo gets his first vampire bite.

    You can read this as a stand alone, but I've added it sequentially (as I see it) to the series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,597
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    149
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Predictably, Guillermo doesn’t come down for an hour. Grumbling, Nandor stomps back up the stairs and flings open the bathroom door.

    He should be irritated, really--downright enraged--that his familiar dared to disobey his orders after he so explicitly commanded him to meet his master downstairs posthaste.

    Instead, he is filled with an awful, disgusting swell of affection and amusement at the deja vu of finding Guillermo in almost the same position as before: hand slack with the scrubber fallen out, head cradled uncomfortably against the now spotless tub, bent over with his torso inside and his ass and legs hanging out in a kneeling position.

    This time, Nandor cannot find it in him to bellow Guillermo’s name and startle the human awake.

    --

    Nandor finds a sleep-deprived Guillermo dozing in a bathtub and must devise a fool-proof plan to prevent this disaster from happening again. And what of it if his plan involves tucking Guillermo in coffin himself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,812
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    225
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Riiight,” Colin Robinson says slowly. “And this was before the tie-dye concert incident or after?”

    “Oh, hush. You’re giving me a headache,” Nandor says moodily.

    “Social mediums,” Nadja says with an impatient snap of her bejeweled fingers to get them back on topic. “We were speaking of investigating his social life and what the mediums have to say about it.”

    “Media,” says Colin. “Social media. Y’know, Twitter, Reddit, LinkedIn…”

    “I don’t give a devil’s testacle who’s read it or who’s linked in,” says Laszlo. “Open up your typing machine and show us what you can find, old chap.”

    --

    Colin Robinson enables the vampires in stalking Guillermo's social media and thus discovers Guillermo's MetroPCS advertisement reels. Nandor's reaction and ensuing confrontation of his audacious familiar are nothing short of sexually frustrated. (And everyone knows it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,067
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    236

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