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  1. Public Bookmark 73

    Tags
    Summary

    when tenna is kidnapped right off the TV Time lot after a show, it's up to his noncomittal situationship to save his life--that is, once Spamton realizes he hasn't just been left behind.

    what will it take to bring these two together? how will they reconcile an unacceptable love affair? what will they give up for each other? why does tenna own so many guns?

    all these questions and more, answered here. mind the tags and trigger warnings on each chapter.

    title from "i'm not in love" by 10cc

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,121
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    203
    Kudos:
    379
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    5,155

    04 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 30

    Words:
    170,458
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    30

    03 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Tenna's decades old obsession with his former business partner comes back full swing upon meeting Spamton again. They try to deal with the aftermath.

    (an alternate take on the foam scene)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,403
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    916
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    16,686

    02 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    an anxious, artificial mess of a tv-headed gameshow host with deep-rooted attachment issues, an insatiable thirst for attention, and bpd meets a narcissist salesman with a sharp, brutal tongue, mysterious secrets, and a determination to grow bigger, bigger, bigger--what could possibly go wrong?

    a timeline of the messy, pre-canon spamtenna story that will only end in tragedy.

    work title and chapter titles all from the smiths songs/lyrics

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,473
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    972
    Kudos:
    857
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    20,483

    02 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You, uh. Sure know your way around a CRT,” Tenna says. “I didn’t know you were a mechanic.”

    “I sell cars,” Spamton had replied, back when Tenna was addressing him. “If you talk [Big] with nothing to back it up, people think you’re a hack.”

    “Well,” Tenna said, “are you?”

    Spamton sprayed the compressed air into his smug face.

    That would have been preferable to drowning in insulation foam and getting licked clean by a clown (“HANDS OFF THE [[Officil Merchandise]]!!”). Jevil’s nuisance was missed as soon it was over though, because then all he had was the realization that that was his last chance. To do what, he isn’t sure. To demand an apology. To explain why he ran away. To scream at him. To break that stupid screen himself, just to get it over with, and crawl inside there never to emerge. Then at least they’d be together.

    ____

    An unseen, silent, approximately 4 foot tall individual takes it upon himself to fix the fallen Lord of the Screens. To raise a middle finger to the mysterious phone-calling, prophecy-defining benefactor who screwed him over and made him a living puppet, of course. No other reason.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    254,302
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    1,149
    Kudos:
    2,688
    Bookmarks:
    416
    Hits:
    83,947

    02 Jul 2026

  6. Public Bookmark 27

    Tags
    Summary

    Tenna's been settled in Castle Town for a few weeks now, long enough to re-establish himself with a brand new (albeit smaller) studio. One night, after everyone has left, he comes across something... odd.

    Surely this won't lead to anything involving strangely familiar looking creatures reawakening old feelings in him!! Haha, wouldn't that be strange!!!

    ---

    Sneotenna FUCKING because I LIKE IT and NEED TO SEE THAT TV GET PREGNANT NOWWWW (or, er, eggnant ig....)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,325
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2,710

    02 Jul 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Tenna’s first reaction upon seeing Spamton again, which was to spray him with foam, should’ve been an early warning sign of how their relationship would go in Castle Town. In simple words: not good.

    With Tenna forced to come to terms with his loss of power and Spamton eager to take advantage—adding on years of separation, misunderstandings, and pent up anger—it wasn’t a surprise that things turned out this way.

    So, with all that in mind, why in the world did they keep coming back to each other?

    (Updates in progress)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,942
    Chapters:
    17/29
    Comments:
    688
    Kudos:
    2,765
    Bookmarks:
    370
    Hits:
    63,811

    02 Jul 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Spamton finds Tenna's body at the end of Ch3. and sticks around, hiding away as Dealmaker while Tenna is being repaired. And one bad choice causes more harm than anyone would have expected.

    Occasional voting on major choices that can change the story! [[KILL YOUR TV]]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,618
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    1,359
    Kudos:
    1,533
    Bookmarks:
    203
    Hits:
    32,346

    02 Jul 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Spamton refuses to prepare ahead of time for his late-night infomercial show. No one's going to watch it, so why bother?

    That all changes when he discovers that the product of the night is a sex toy, and he ropes Tenna into helping him sell it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,530
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    450
    Kudos:
    1,447
    Bookmarks:
    218
    Hits:
    32,425

    02 Jul 2026

  10. Public Bookmark 27

    Tags
    Summary

    "- No matter how important you think you are- I'm more important than you ! Because, guess what, Spamton ? I am your boss and I will always be your boss ! Do you understand me !?”

    In which Spamton and Tenna hate eachother, and yet despite their differences find themselves stuck together for a night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,020
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2,758

    02 Jul 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Tenna is resting on his dressing room after a show, and he is visited by a man he wishes he no longer knew.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,241
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    1,037
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
    14,506

    02 Jul 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Spamton accidentally falls out of the inventory after the events of Chapter 3. Alone and without anybody to help him in Castle Town, where mainly those who still know him aren't friendly to him, Spamton finds a recently-recruited television who doesn't recognize him whatsoever and chooses to use this to his advantage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    203,194
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    3,525
    Kudos:
    14,031
    Bookmarks:
    2,133
    Hits:
    475,907

    30 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 53

    Tags
    Summary

    What did their life look like from Olruggio’s eyes, Qifrey wondered. Did he too lie awake and restless long after saying goodnight, wondering why he slept alone?… How did moths, so entranced by the light of fire, know to stay far enough away lest that flame hurt them? Was it some primordial memory that survived passed down on instinct?

    Perhaps Olruggio was the same; maybe even now he wished to confess his secret feelings but some instinct deep down whispered, “turn back, don’t get too close - it will hurt you.”

    · · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

    Olruggio invites Qifrey to a party. Sadly, Qifrey has a wonderful time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,330
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    194
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    3,004

    07 May 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Master! Master Qifrey! Coco’s hurt!”

    Agott’s worried voice echoes from upstairs in the entry hall, carrying down the steps into the kitchen where Qifrey is working.

    “I–I’m ok!” Coco hollers in reassurance, but Qifrey’s hands have already dropped the herbs they were binding without a second thought, leaving a scatter of tranquileaf sprigs strewn about the counter. The tone of Agott’s voice had sent a hot jolt of protective fear through his insides, his heart leaping to his throat, beating fast. He nearly trips over his skirt as he hustles up the stone steps into the living room.
    .................................................

    Coco gets a nasty boo-boo, and Qifrey helps get her fixed up. Some big feelings come to the surface and they share an emotional moment.

    A.K.A

    Coco accidentally calls Qifrey 'mom' and has a big cry

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,882
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    2,062
    Bookmarks:
    338
    Hits:
    14,614

    07 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark 60

    Tags
    Summary

    Master Jinshi gifts Lady Maomao a goose, and our Lady Maomao is intrigued. After accepting his gift, a wedding is to be planned. However, things start getting very steamy leading up to the day. Playing hard to get is a game they both like to play.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,228
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    498
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    11,910

    03 Apr 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A moment of danger changes everything. When Jinshi plunges down the waterfall with Maomao at the very last second, their only option is to retreat into a forgotten cave for shelter. The way back is submerged-unreachable for someone who cannot swim. In the tight confines of this hideaway, what has long been hidden comes to light. A secret, buried for years, is revealed-and throws Maomao off balance. Between falling drops and silence, between breaths and unspoken longing, something unfolds that neither of them planned-something that reaches far beyond this single day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,139
    Chapters:
    26/26
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    760
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    20,467

    03 Apr 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Set after Light Novel 15 of The Apothecary Diaries, a foreign envoy’s ploy to manipulate the imperial court through a rare aphrodisiac spirals out of control when Maomao, ever cautious, tastes Jinshi’s food and becomes an unintentional participant in the scheme. What follows is a night neither of them could have imagined—and consequences they must face together. Amid palace politics, whispered scandal, and unspoken feelings, two hearts uncover something far more potent than any poison: truth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,362
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    839
    Bookmarks:
    139
    Hits:
    8,430

    03 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In the wake of an unforeseen weather change, Jinshi and Maomao spend a night at the Verdigris house. Wrapped in the serene embrace of the winter night, and with the intricate politics of the palace out of view, a delicate intimacy begins to unfurl between them. As the night progresses, what secrets will unfold within the walls of Verdigris?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,257
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    2,059
    Bookmarks:
    376
    Hits:
    34,596

    03 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Near the end of her pregnancy Concubine Gyokuyou is attacked in the middle of the night. Maomao steps in to defend her and while fighting for her life ends up taking the life of the attacker while sustaining serious injuries.

    While Jinshi steps in to care for her physically, Maomao deals with the mental turmoil of taking a life.

    With Maomao vulnerable and Jinshi doing his best to be patient with her, something begins to bloom between them.

    --

    Complete self-indulgent slow-burn/fluff because I'm sad we didn't get it when Maomao saved Jinshi.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,543
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    622
    Kudos:
    8,479
    Bookmarks:
    1,681
    Hits:
    151,316

    03 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “He’s seen your face. We can’t afford for him to live.”

    “He’s an essential part of Operation Strix. He dies, Yor will…she’ll leave. The cover will fall apart.” Even to his own ears, his rationale had broken down.

    -----

    In the sewers of Shellbury, Twilight miscalculates. With the fate of Loid Forger's brother-in-law hanging in the balance, WISE's top agent and his cover wife, the deadliest assassin in Ostania, now face grave perils and impossible choices like none they have ever had to endure before.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    351,436
    Chapters:
    57/57
    Comments:
    2,720
    Kudos:
    2,756
    Bookmarks:
    488
    Hits:
    112,025

    19 Feb 2026

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