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“Nandor?” Fast steps creaked across the wooden floor of the Staten Island vampire residence. “Nandor! Where the hell is that guy?”
Nadja came whirling into the living room where Laszlo was absorbed in one of his new projects. “There is a guy at our door. He wants to speak to Nandor.”
“I don’t think he’s left his room.” Her husband muttered not looking up.
Nadja rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs. Nandor was in one of his moods, the sad kind. He seemed to be indecisive as ever about how to feel ever since he’d left his Army in the warehouse.
Well, she’d tolerate Nandor forcing them to do karaoke just for him to start crying midway through singing Billy Joel and not leaving his coffin for days, but she wouldn’t endure the banging on their front door any longer.
“Nandor!” Five knocks got her a muffled response. “I am sleeping.”
“There is a man to see you. He said his name is Arman Iqbal.”
Dust flew up and the coffin door open. “Arman The Wise?”
She coughed, batting away at the dust “Maybe? I didn’t understand the rest of what he said.”
When the dust cleared, she could see Nandor, sitting upright in his coffin with an excited gleam in his eyes that hadn’t been there for some time.
Guillermo had spent his evening sitting in a Panera Bread.
Not the one he had worked at but still, there was a wistful quality to his gaze as it swayed over the almost empty dinner.
It wasn’t like he wanted to work there again, no thank you, but it did feel familiar. The smell, the workers routines that he knew all too well. It was the only place he had ever stayed at that wasn’t tainted with wrong decisions or hurt.
The vampire mansion had made its last rejection towards him. He wasn’t a vampire and never would be.
Cannon Capital… He thought that was it. His new place to stay. His purpose.
He was good at coming up with strategies, understanding the business and being the perfect assistant and for a while showing up each day, being busy, was enough.
But after a while he didn’t get as much satisfaction from it anymore, felt distant, distracted even.
Following a co-worker’s advice to be fully independent in his personal life he moved out of the shed. Because maybe that was it. Maybe living so close to the vampires was still holding him back somehow.
But it didn’t get better. Instead, it got worse.
So, one evening doing extra hours, when Jordon was talking to him like they’d known each other for 15 years, he was honest about feeling unsure. In general, but also regarding the job.
That’s how he had found himself in a Panera Bread during an hour at which he would’ve normally sat at his desk.
Jordon wasn’t, maybe never had been, his friend. It had all happened so quickly that when he stood outside the tall glass building Guillermo didn’t know if he quit or if Jordon fired him no more clearly than he knew whether to laugh or to cry.
He thought he could persuade Jordon to take him back but he didn’t have the energy.
Now, lying on the bed in his bleak and too quiet flat, he wondered why he’d moved out of the shed.
Hadn’t he already been fully independent then? What or rather who did he really want to get away from?
Laszlo actually saw him leave and helped transfer his few things to this apartment. Nadja he’d avoided at work but only so she wouldn’t question his bad mood and Colin was still sending him ‘funny’ videos every now and then. He was fine with all that…
It was blatantly obvious who he was avoiding but the realization still confused him.
Guillermo felt no urge to do tasks for Nandor or call him ‘Master’ anymore, actually… he rather missed the vampire.
Oh. Tears shot into his eyes. He missed Nandor. He missed them all.
Sitting upright on his bed the urge to return was stronger than ever. And maybe that wasn’t so bad. Maybe that’s where he’d thought wrong, because he wouldn’t return as a familiar or a bodyguard but simply as… family.
But if he wanted to find his new place in the mansion, he needed to talk to Nandor first.
Quite frankly Laszlo had never seen Nandor more alive than in the four minutes the vampire had talked to the shriveled old man that had appeared on their doorstep. Unfortunately for the progress of his project, it was fascinating.
Nadja, Colin and him watched in irritation as Nandor greeted the old man like he was the reincarnation of his dead horse John or whatever.
“Are you understanding anything of what they are saying, my love?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Nadja said leaning against his armchair.
Nandor laughed at something the man said and then seemed to remember his roommates. Proudly he introduced them to Arman The Wise. “He was the head physician and adviser during my time in Al Quolanudar.”
Nandor looked at them as if that explained everything so Laszlo inquired “Right, so how is he here now?”
He only got a frown in response before Nandor turned to his old friend muttering “That is a good question actually.”
The man seemed not to speak english so Nandor translated for them: “He says that he served Al Quolanudar until he was 102 years old and his last days were upon him. He knew his end was coming, we were at war and he had been captured by our enemies??”
Nandor gasped in horror and continued translating with that grave dramatic voice which always came out when he told stories about Al Quolanudar “No light, no food, but for the dirty animals crawling in the dark. He grabbed one of them, a bat, and bit down. But instead of yielding to its fate the animal bit him back!” His voice rose in pitch like it was the greatest plot twist.
“Oh! You won’t believe this!”
“It was a vampire, wasn’t it?” Laszlo too had his crawling-in-the-dark bat years so he wasn’t surprised.
Nandor kept getting swept up in conversation with Arman, forgetting to translate and Nadja soon got bored of it while Colin philosophized about being turned into a vampire at such an old age. Until finally, Nandor announced the ‘happy’ reason for Arman’s visit.
“Arman The Wise has come here to tell me the vampires of Al Quolanudar are assembling and I am to lead them into victory. We will leave tonight.”
What the blazes? The room was silent before everybody spoke at the same time “Victory? Are they at war?” “I thought those guys were all dead?” “You’re gonna move out?”
“Why are you all making such faces? This is me returning to my glory days! I am going to be a leader again!” Nandor exclaimed.
Laszlo shared an unconvinced look with Nadja and Colin, though the latter adjusted to this unexpected turn of the evening much faster than them.
With the deepest of manly and brotherly gestures, patting Nandor on the arm, Colin said “I’m happy for you man.”
Now whether Laszlo disliked all of this because it meant losing his good good friend or because he didn’t trust that raisin of a vampire didn’t matter one bit because, one thing was certain; Nandor was going to leave.
Nandor had done a lot of things since his conversation with Guillermo in the warehouse. Such as, lying in his coffin with his eyes open, lying in his coffin with one eye closed, lying in his coffin sleeping, dreaming… until a certain someone with dark hair and glasses appeared and he returned to his open-eyed state.
It was no use feeling betrayed by what Guillermo had done, firing and turning his back on him, when said person was back in his human life, apparently paying no mind to Nandor at all.
So be it. It didn’t matter anymore.
There was no reason for them to ever talk again and it didn’t matter.
Except it did. It was nagging at his heart and brain, making him unable to do anything besides actively ignore this feeling. This feeling that Guillermo and him, whatever they were, were on the brink of disappearing.
Quite silly all these feelings swelling up in him.
Maybe he was still “Creating a war where there was none.” Like Guillermo had said and when he saw him, Nandor would realize that everything was normal and it had all just been in his head.
Satisfied with this conclusion, Nandor left his coffin and walked through the yard, to Laszlo’s old shed just to find that… Guillermo had gone. Left without a word.
Only the fleeing rats heard him yell into the void before he went back into his coffin, telling himself that it didn’t matter and that the world, his purpose, would come looking for him when he was needed. And so it did.
Nandor happily showed Arman The Wise around the mansion. He never thought he’d meet anyone so familiar to his past again.
Back in the day Arman had countless of times helped him and many of his people with difficult decisions, broken bodies and sometimes even broken hearts.
“This room has seen much of your presence yet very little action.” His guest noted looking around his room.
Nandor didn’t know whether the vampire could tell from the way it looked or the way it felt. He never quite understood the extent of Arman’s sixth sense.
“It is true. I have been… resting.”
Arman looked at him knowingly. “You were waiting for me.”
“Yes.” That was what he’d been doing, wasn’t it?
“I see the brutal and fierce look in your eyes has softened. But you long to burn bright again with passion. You seek purpose. You seek battle.”
Everything in him was shouting yes; to passion and truth, to feeling what his memory told him was true glory, to escaping this house which had started to feel strangely empty.
“I do.”
Armans eyes searched his face “Why do you sound unsure?”
He sighed looking at the swords hung on his wall “I suppose… I don’t know if I am that warrior anymore.”
“Oh, don’t waste your time on that question. You aren’t. You are a new worrier, making the old and familiar decision to serve your kingdom. Don’t you recall? The thrill of not knowing for sure what each battle will bring, the satisfaction of witnessing your army fight, the joy of victory.”
He did. He remembered it like it was a childhood story, something so vivid yet blurry, always retold and never relived. An echo bouncing off walls now hung with new portraits of new memories.
The thrill of the little adventures Laszlo, Nadja, Colin and him had, the satisfaction of seeing Guillermo stand up for himself, of seeing his friends succeed, the joy that simple time with Guillermo used to bring him…
A hand on his shoulder guided him back to the moment. Nandor’s awareness caught the last flicker of a gentle smile occupying his own lips before it vanished. “I-“
“You will be a fine leader for the remainder of our people and an honor to our legacy.”
He looked into a face of calm reassurance and could only nod.
The streets of Staten Island were empty.
Guillermo entered the mansion compound, the shed’s dark silhouette looming accusingly in the corner of his eye. He wondered if Nandor had even noticed his absence.
He expected not to see any of the vampires until he entered the house but was proven wrong as soon as the front lawn came into view.
In a row next to each other stood Nadja, Laszlo and Colin. Something about it seemed odd to Guillermo and when he could make out their faces, he knew what it was.
They wore serious expressions.
Well, as serious as they could be anyway but it immediately made him feel uneasy.
The sight of Nandor tugged at his heart. The vampire was in what looked like a pretty intense conversation with an old man. Very old by the look of him.
The two stood in front of the others but he couldn’t make out what they were saying as he carefully came to a stop next to Nadja.
“What the hell is going on here?” He whispered.
Nadja did a double take, muttering “Sneaky bitch.” before answering “Arman The Wise is preparing Nandor to return to Al Quolanudar or something.”
The sight before him took a different shape.
“Wait, Nandor is leaving? I thought- Does Al Quolanudar still exist?”
“Shit’s burned to the ground. But Nandor has been called to assemble the people that became vampires while it still did.” She replied, something displeased, almost sad, underlying her nonchalant voice.
He had so many questions but before he could say anything Nandor turned away from Arman The Wise and turned his attention to them.
When Nandor saw him he froze, pulling Guillermo into a moment where everything felt slower and more intense. Hauntingly quickly, the moment passed and made way for a sudden panic to rise in Guillermo.
What if his last chance to talk with Nandor already lied in the past?
“Ah. I am glad you are here Guillermo. Meet Arman The Wise from Al Quolanudar. He was our best physician and adviser.”
One moment Arman was next to Nandor and the next he was right in front of Guillermos face, laying a hand against his cheek.
“Um…”
Guillermo was good at hiding his internal life yet somehow, he felt completely exposed by this man’s knowing, and suddenly very close eyes, looking into his face like it was a book to read.
He could impossibly push or, God forbid, hit this old man. Helplessly his gaze found Nandor’s who was frowning at his old acquaintance but Arman was already stepping back again giving Guillermo a small nod.
Was he supposed to have understood what just happened?
“I tell you, that guy is insane.” Laszlo muttered as the vampire returned to Nandor’s side whose posture changed then.
His slightly slumped shoulders straightened up and with a grave expression on his face, Nandor announced that he would tell each of them goodbye the way they used to in Al Quolanudar.
With heavy steps he walked up to Nadja, where this ceremony of goodbyes should apparently start.
“Nadja of Antipaxos. It has been an honor to know you. We have had great times even if as the vampire with the most leader potential, after me of course, we sometimes had our disagreements.” There were actual tears in Nadja’s eyes that made something in Guillermo’s stomach twist.
“My friend, my sister, goodbye.” My friend was followed by a gentle kiss placed on Nadja’s forehead, my sister by one placed on her left cheek.
Nandor turned to “Laszlo Cravensworth. You have been a loyal friend. If we ever had an issue or needed help, Colin, Nadja or me, you were there to help. Thank you for looking out for us. I will miss you. My friend,” a kiss on the forehead “my brother.” And one on his right cheek.
A lump in his throat, Guillermo watched as Nandor moved to Colin. Everything was telling him that this was insane and wrong but he couldn’t intervene, couldn’t ruin this for Nandor.
It wasn’t his place anymore.
“Colin Robinson. You are and always have been an important part of the vampire residence of Staten Island. Even if Nadja or Laszlo… or me, didn’t say so, sometimes told you the opposite; You are important. Never forget that. Goodbye my friend.”
After a kiss on the forehead, he stepped away from a sniffling Colin and slowly his gaze fell on Guillermo.
This can’t be it. Any second now they’d all burst into laughter at the horrified expression Guillermo tried to hide. They’d somehow known he was coming and this was all a big prank.
Before Nandor could take a second step towards him the mansion doors flew open.
“I object!”
Now Guillermo hadn’t spent enough time in the villa lately to have met who the vampires called “Weird sex monster”, “Cravensworths monster” or “Friend” and he definitely hadn’t imagined the “Monster” to be actually scary. But maybe that was just because of the chainsaw it was holding and the fact that it was running towards them.
No, not them, Arman The Wise.
“Shit.” Laszlo said. “Don’t hurt him, Nandor! I’ll get the electro shocker!”
Nandor placed himself in front of Arman watching carefully as the monster slowed and swayed, unsure.
“He has trouble seeing in the dark.” Colin explained, slowly making his way towards Monster. “Everything is okay. No need for chainsaws. There is no evil old man who has come to take Nandor.”
With an outcry that sounded like “No!” the monster started blindly running forward towards Nandor. Before Guillermo could follow his instinct to protect him, Nadja pulled him away from Laszlo’s creation that randomly and clumsily changed course for Colin who shouted “Run!”
While Nadja was hiding behind a vulva bush, Colin on a tree, trying to talk to Monster and Nandor started flying along with Arman, Guillermo found himself running towards the shed.
Once he was inside, he locked the door and leaned against it, catching his breath.
The shed, even stripped off most of his things, still felt like a more welcoming place to him than his rental flat.
Despite the reason he was here, Guillermo felt himself relax now that he wasn’t seconds away from hearing Nandor say goodbye.
…when he had just decided to return.
After it stayed quiet for a while he left the shed again and walked up to Colin who seemed to be the only one still outside.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Hm? Oh yes, Monster just lost his arm somewhere here, so I'm looking for it. You know, he’s genuinely a really good guy. He just noticed how down everyone was after Arman arrived and Nandor said he’d leave. Also, I think he’s secretly been watching horror movies that’s why… the chainsaw. We’ll have to talk to him about that."
Guillermo frowned, the information flying past him. "Right. So… the others?“
"Laszlo and Nadja just went inside."
"What about Nandor and the guy?" He briefly looked up as if the two might still be flying around somewhere.
"I think they left early. Arman got a bit shaken there, wanted to get away quickly. Ah, found it!”
Guillermo numbly stared at the dissembled arm Colin was cheerfully waving around.
“He’s gone?”
A look of compassion rested on Colin’s face as he gave Guillermo’s shoulder a squeeze saying “It’s a sad day.” before entering the house, leaving him alone in their empty yard.
His heart and throat felt tight and he could feel tears pooling in his eyes.
How could Nandor?
It wasn’t like he himself had said anything when leaving but that was different. Yes, he had distanced himself, gotten a new job, moved away but he had still been in reach and he regularly stopped by. Even if it was just to take a shower while he lived in the shed.
But this? He had no idea when Nandor would return. A year? Two? Five? What was five years to an immortal vampire?!
“You didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye, did you?”
His heart leapt in his chest at the voice he thought he wouldn’t hear again.
Fleetingly whipping across his check, he turned around to see Nandor standing in front of him.
New tears filled his eyes but he fought them, he was tired of them.
“You’re serious about this. You’re leaving.” He stated as simply as he could.
“I am.” Nandor confirmed, his tone of voice so effortlessly unaffected, Guillermo had to laugh to keep his frustration at bay.
“This is insane. You haven’t seen that guy in centuries! What even is this assembly? Is- How many of you are even left?”
The vampire’s eyebrows drew together in the way they always did when he was displeased.
“You are sad. I understand. But I would put all my trust in Arman. He is a good guy.”
“Right. Well, you know who are also good guys? Your friends. Laszlo, Nadja, Colin… me.”
He took a step towards Nandor to properly see him, to see if the vampire heard what he was saying. But he was a home disappearing into fog, curtains closed and doors locked.
“You will to be fine. All of you. It’s like you said, I have found a new purpose and now I ask you to let me honor that and leave in good faith. Just like I let you go when you found your new job, your new purpose... It is better this way.” Nandor said decidedly.
They were better off not being each other’s purpose, yes, but did that really mean they had to be apart?
He hadn’t even told Nandor he’d lost his job and…
Guillermo took a deep breath. In and out and…
“I’m glad you found it.” He said earnestly, because Nandor was right.
He had shown support and kindness towards Guillermo and it was unfair for him to try and keep the vampire here.
Nandor opened but then closed his mouth again as if he’d expected to keep arguing and didn’t know what else to do now.
“So, am I gonna get one of those Al Quolanudar goodbyes?” He said, doing his best to speak lightly despite his suffocating heart.
“Of course.” Nandor said, softly returning his feeble smile.
The vampire stepped closer, the air between them feeling thin as if not carrying enough oxygen.
“Guillermo de la crux. My companion for over 15 years.” If he only focused on those familiar eyes... “I have watched you grow. Become a man. I never thought I’d see you fully stand on your own legs. You were just a boy when you first arrived at my doorstep.” Nandor’s face stilled in remembrance as if he’d seen this boy recently.
“I have to admit, maybe I didn’t always want you to become independent, because that would mean you would eventually walk away. But that is the fate of every mother bird. To watch their younglings fly away. I truly hope your new purpose can make you as happy as I’m sure I will be when I return to my old home.”
He swallowed his tears and frustration and resisted the urge to close his eyes when Nandor put a gentle hand against his cheek.
“Now...” Contradicting his decided tone, Nandor’s face was full of emotions.
“My friend,” the vampire almost whispered, placing a kiss against his forehead.
He couldn’t move and barely breath, Nandor was so close. He could only watch as the vampire’s gaze searched in hesitation and his own confusion made Guillermo hear Nandor’s words too late, when the vampire’s lips had already reached his “my lover.”
The kiss was brief and featherlight and when Guillermos eyes opened again Nandor was already two steps away.
“Goodbye.” Was the last thing he heard, the vampires voice wavering, before he disappeared into the night.
“No- Wait!” Guillermo’s lungs were pushed and pulled by his quick and heavy breathing as he stared at the empty space in front of him.
Everything became a dark blur when the tears he’d been holding back finally made their way out, running warmly down his cheeks but leaving cold lines for the wind to catch on.
He let them fall. Closing his eyes for a moment he felt the ghost of cold lips against his.
My lover? How dare Nandor say something like that, seconds before leaving.
Could he have meant it?
As anger creeped into his bones, he decided that he couldn’t have. Not enough anyway, otherwise he would have said something, anything, in that direction before.
But as a goodbye? To give him something he used to fantasies about and then disappear? What an absolute ‘Fuck you’ to receive.
He rubbed the wetness from his cheeks and turned back to the house, marching up the stairs.
In the foyer he stopped. What was he gonna do? Rant to the three remaining vampires who also just said goodbye to a dear friend?
His feet lead him towards the sound of voices. From the open living room door he saw Nadja, Laszlo, Colin and Monster sitting around a TV.
The sight was a warm fire within the snowstorm of his feelings.
He realized how long it had been since he last sat in this room with the vampires. Would they even accept him back after he’d been away so much?
For an awfully lonely moment he thought they were ignoring him but then Colin briefly glanced over at him saying “We’re watching puss in boots the final wish, which is about accepting that things end.”
“Oh, um, that’s the second part, right? I haven’t seen that yet.” He said trying to sound like he hadn’t just watered their front garden with tears.
“Say could you be related to an animated dog? He sounds eerily like you.” Laszlo said, studying him as if looking for doggish traits.
Detecting no difference in the way they spoke to him, Guillermo felt relief wash over him before answering with a frown “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“You can join us.” Nadja suggested.
He could feel the melancholy hanging over the room but with the vampires all gathered together like this, it was an almost wholesome situation and his heart warmed at the offer.
Still … the sight of the armchair that had stayed empty and the presence of its missing occupant was like salt on an open wound.
“No, I think…”
He realized his alternative, which was returning to his lonely flat to probably cry some more, be too tired to make himself food and then fall asleep in an uncomfortable position.
It felt like he’d spent years being sad because of Nandor related things.
But he wasn’t in the position where he simply had to take every hit anymore.
So, after taking a steadying breath he let the chair be a chair and said
“Actually, maybe I’ll stay for a bit.”
This time of night the train station was almost completely empty.
“May I be honest with you?” Arman looked at him, his white hair moving in the breeze of a rushing by train.
The one they had to take would arrive shortly as well.
“Of course.” Nandor said, turning his eyes back to the pigeon picking at an abandoned hot dog on exactly the spot he’d stood years ago while waiting on this same train. But waiting even more, and more importantly, on Guillermo.
“I wasn’t sure whether you’d return.” Arman said and Nandor snapped his gaze back to him.
“Whatever made you think that?”
The older vampire examined him and Nandor wasn’t sure if he wanted to know after all.
“Well, to tell a good friend goodbye is a very sound reason to go back but Guillermo is a bit more than that, isn’t he?”
His heart picked up its pace, the memory of unexpected words leaving his own lips and a warm mouth against his, flashing like a lighthouse in his mind.
“Maybe. I do not know and it doesn’t matter. We have gone our separate ways.”
Arman smiled and Nandor knew he wouldn’t accept this as the end of their conversation.
“Feet can stride in opposite directions than hearts, you know.” The older vampire shook his head. “I made a mistake in thinking you were the unattached warrior you used to be and I think you have a great deal more to tell Guillermo than 'goodbye'.”
Nandor stared at him, feeling bare and not liking it one bit.
“I do not understand! Don’t you want to go to Al Quolanudar anymore?”
“I do. But I’ve felt my time coming to an end and now I know I can’t avoid it any longer.” Arman’s voice sounded distant. “Even though I’m scared of it, I have to face it because it is mine.”
It took Nandor a moment to realize the older vampire was talking of dying and his heart gave a sorrowful thud. Looking at him, Arman’s gaze became more present again. “You were a mirror to me Nandor, I thank you for that and I hope you will face what’s yours.”
“But… It would not work anyway, Guillermo he is…” good, kind, honest, smart, not his… “human.” He said, like it was a beautiful far far away star.
Arman was silent but he knew the older vampire had more to say, was waiting for Nandor to meet his gaze.
When he did, Arman told him what Nandor himself had temporarily suspected to be true but always kept a safe distance to.
“He loves you.”
His heart picked up its pace, the memory of true words leaving his own lips and a warm mouth against his, flashing like a lighthouse in his mind.
But did he still? And was it something Guillermo would still give him? Something Nandor could accept?
Arman looked at the time, his shoulders relaxing as he left Nandor alone with his turmoil.
“But, because you are a friend and I believe in you, if you chose Al Quolanudar, I will happily accompany you there as well. So, what will it be?”
Needing a moment to himself Guillermo had gone to make tea in the kitchen.
The water was just done when from the corner of his eye he saw a shadow float past the open kitchen door.
Not having turned on the light he must have been overlooked.
Feeling too exhausted to immediately assume the worst and look for a weapon he carefully stepped into the hallway to see the figure disappear into Nandor’s room.
Right. Well, he was clearly going crazy because he’d recognize that silhouette in a pitch black room and…
Before he could form a coherent thought his body had already taken him to the doorway of Nandor’s room, his heartbeat a louder growing drum in his throat.
It took the vampire a moment to notice Guillermo.
When he did, he stuttered slightly “I… I forgot something.” Nandor said, but didn’t do anything besides look at him.
Within a hundred thoughts, clawing at his attention, wanting to be shouted into Nandor’s face, Guillermo didn’t know what to say.
Finally, Nandor turned away, clumsily searching the room for whatever he was looking for. Not even 3 seconds later he exclaimed “There it is!” and headed for the exit like the sunlight was on his heels, not looking at Guillermo.
“Wait.” His voice filled the room, making everything, including Nandor, halt.
The vampire looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“You look angry.” Came the plain observation from Nandor and anger rose in Guillermo’s chest, numbing everything else.
“I- You know what? I am angry. And I’m tired of you not saying something about- anything!” He almost shouted the last word, frustration taking over.
“Did you know I was in love with you for years!?”
There was something in Nandor’s face that looked confusingly similar to remorse but Guillermo continued, couldn’t stop now. “And then when I finally moved on you ruined the only relationship I’ve had in a decade! And then you say goodbye calling me lover like- like you’re mocking me?!” His voice broke.
“I was not mocking you.” The vampire defended himself.
“So you love me?” Despite their demanding tone, vulnerability crept into his words.
Nandor still wasn’t fully facing him, his body in an angle towards the door as if he might leave at any moment. For a second Guillermo was sure he would.
But then there was a slight shift in the way the vampire held himself and, like he was ready for battle, he turned to face him.
"You’re right, I have not been the best at saying things. Emotional things. Arman had reminded me of how important saying what you feel for your people is. It shows them you care for them." The vampire’s eyes briefly found his and Guillermo held his breath.
Was Nandor actually going to give him something?
"That’s why I wanted to say goodbye to all of you in that way. And I suppose… I also realized that I have felt a lot for you and that I’ve told you very little of it." Nandor said, avoiding his gaze.
Guillermo’s heart couldn’t help but beat in a more hopeful rhythm, swelling with feelings eager to finally be acknowledged and reciprocated, even after such a long time of being brushed aside.
"Well then… tell me now." Please, for once-
Nandor gathered breath to speak but then the frown on his face was back, air leaving his mouth without a sound as his gaze slipped to somewhere behind Guillermo.
"It will not matter." Nandor said, his words harshly taking up the space within Guillermo that hope had just shone in, its remainders mixing with hurt into a cocktail of bitterness.
"Because you’ll leave?"
What he wasn’t prepared for was the sudden sorrow that flared up in Nandor’s eyes, the grand clothes he wore failing to conceal something almost fragile about him.
"Because you will. And it is not pleasant to think about but sooner or later your human body is going to give in and then… you will leave.”
The vampire was actually talking to the floor now. “We can’t all find the perfect partner like Lazlo and Nadja. I will only have shown you my heart and then it will already break on your absence. Fate has a way of being cruel like that.” Nandor added quietly.
For a moment he was too stunned to react. By the way Nandor spoke as if his heart already belonged to him but mostly by the rawness of his confession.
He let the breeze of anger blow past him, the impulse to contradict and defend himself and the worth of his short life because… this wasn’t about him.
Because Nandor was scared. Uncertain. Standing with his eyes on the ground as if waiting for the ax to fall. Which lay in Guillermo’s hands.
Breathing through memories of years filled with uncertainty, he couldn’t recall ever thinking, knowing, Nandor felt it too.
Nandor, immortal vampire and warrior, who’s persistence always seemed as sure as night to him.
Following the need to be close to and reassure Nandor, he reached out but the act felt so unfamiliar and intimate within its circumstances, he let his hand fall away before it made any contact.
In the last second Nandor caught it in his though and although he had initiated it, the touch still felt like a shock to Guillermo’s system.
Hesitantly he lifted his other hand and laid it atop Nandor’s, the awkwardness ebbing away as their hands intertwined with an ease that spread through Guillermo like warm blood through a feeding vampire.
"I- Nandor, I’m not a walking corpse. I’m here and I still have so much time left."
He said and Nandor looked up from their hands, gaze timid as it searched his. He couldn’t tell if the vampire believed him or not but his tense expression softened.
“I do not know how you manage to show such kindness. Even after I’ve already left you twice tonight.”
The reminder stung but right now Guillermo felt miles away from what had only happened an hour ago.
“Well, you’re here now…”
They looked at one another for a moment before Nandor said “Thank you, Guillermo.” The phrase heavy, as if laden with all the ‘thank you’s and ‘I’m sorry’s that didn’t leave Nandor’s lips in their last fourteen years together.
He swallowed, afraid to ruin this moment but he had to ask
“Maybe you could thank me by… saying what you’ve felt for me anyway?”
If Nandor really was going to leave, he needed and deserved to hear this. “It matters. To me at least. A lot.”
The vampire had just begun to open his mouth when steps in the hallway made both of them turn their heads to the door. They were getting nearer but before Guillermo could register anything else he was being pulled further into the room.
“What-“ He was dragged down and came to a bouncing stop, couched down behind the coffin and out of sight to anyone passing the room.
“What are you doing?” He whispered to Nandor who was right there with him signaling him to be quiet.
“Well, I didn’t want whoever’s out there to ruin our moment.” The vampire whispered back as if that should have been obvious and despite the emotions still roaring beneath his skin Gullermo bit back a smile.
“Right, so where were we… Yes! You were just about to tell me what you feel for me so I can do the same afterwards.” Nandor said, keeping his voice low as the steps moved into an unidentifiable direction.
He what now? “Um, actually I think it was the other way around. You were just about to confess your love for me.” He replied, leaning into exaggeration to call Nandor’s bluff but the vampire didn’t budge.
“No, and I am really rather certain that you were also just about to apologize to me for moving out of the shed without telling me.”
He could only stare at the serious expression on Nandor’s face for a while before, finally, he caught the tiniest rise of his eyebrows, a playful glimmer hiding in the vampire’s eyes.
He relaxed, understanding blooming with a small smile on his face.
“Right… I think you’re getting things mixed up, you were apologizing to me for leaving like that earlier. And for not telling me earlier that you cared about me moving away.”
Looking up as if remembering, Nandor nodded reluctantly. “Maybe I was. But maybe you were just about to tell me that you still like me.” He hesitated before adding “Potentially even love me?”
Guillermo was hung up on the hope that vibrated through the vampire’s last words.
The fact that this wasn’t one of Nandor’s futile whims that he’d witnessed in the past couple years. This sincerity in feelings for him was much harder to grasp.
After a moment of silence passed between them and through the hallway outside, he stood up and shrugged “Maybe.”
Guillermo only realized how close they were when Nandor stood up as well. He didn’t move away.
Instead, his gaze was drawn to the vampire’s mouth and for the first time that night he felt actual happiness, twinkling like the fist stars rising at dusk.
Because Nandor didn’t pull away. Emotionally or physically.
Guillermo felt slightly wild from how realistic it all seemed. Him and Nandor. Happy.
But…
“You didn’t actually forget any luggage, did you?”
A quick glance around backed his guess but he still frowned.
With a sideway glance and a tiny hint of embarrassment Nandor replied “Not really, no.”
The weight on his chest got lighter, like an air balloon throwing off weight, ready to fly.
In the back of his mind, he wondered what happened with Arman, why Nandor decided to come back but all he wanted to know was;
“So you’ll…” Stay he thought but before he could even finished his question Nandor already said “I was planning to, yes.”
The vampire’s only hesitance laid in the eye contact they shared, as if thinking Guillermo might object. Which he sure as hell wouldn’t.
Because after years of running after things he either couldn’t have or didn’t actually want, it felt like he could finally see clearly and accepting Nandor back into his life was one of the easiest decisions he could make.
The reassuring thrill of being wanted made Guillermo cock his head slightly to the side, feigning disappointment. “Damn, and I thought I’d get another Al Quolanudarian good bye.”
After a moment’s confusion Nandor’s lips pulled into a knowing smirk.
“Are you asking me to kiss you Guillermo De La Crux?”
“Maybe.” He said but his nonchalant act had no chance against the giddy smile dawning on his face as Nandor came even closer, one hand sneaking its way around his waist.
Cold skin, a soft beard and strands of black hair grazed his hand as he finally dared to touch the vampire’s face.
Having Nandor's gaze so fixed on him was almost too much but at the same time he never wanted it to leave him.
It did, however just his own and just to move to his mouth instead.
His rapid breathing mixed with Nandor’s who, almost shyly, leaned closer.
When their lips finally met it was a tentative question.
But the answer lay in the air they shared, in the feel of Nandor’s body against his and when he moved to join their mouths again, Guillermo pressed into his vampire, the need for something greater than purpose, the sharing of air and bodies and love, taking over.
Nandor hummed in approval, holding him closer and tasting his mouth.
Something in his chest loosened and a hot and pleasant tenseness was traveling to his gut instead but before he could properly enjoy it the air was knocked out of his lungs.
“What the-“ he was squeezed against Nandor.
“We are under attack, Guillermo!” Nandor exclaimed, trying to wring them free.
He couldn’t move but a squint to the side revealed a stitched-up face to him. They weren’t under attack. Or maybe they were if Laszlo’s creation was out to kill them with a hug.
“Nandor is back!” Monster cheered right into Guillermos ear.
“Well, this is something.” Colin’s voice reached them from the doorway and Guillermo felt his cheeks go a little red although Nandor and him were pressed together for entirely different reasons than a minute ago.
“Colin, can you please tell-
“Can’t have a group hug without the fam. Coming in!” Colin interrupted him and he felt another pair of arms wrap around them.
Sure enough, a second later the rest of the family appeared, Laszlo’s gravelly voice announcing “I knew you wouldn’t leave us old chap.”
Nandor and him gave a simultaneous ‘Uff’ at the impact of a third person squeezing them.
He had surrendered, his head laying on Nandor’s shoulder who’d also stopped struggling against the hug holding them captive. Although he felt like his arm might break from being squeezed against him, he felt oddly touched and couldn’t help but smile as Nadja joined as well, her voice fond as she whispered something in Greek.
“Yes, Yes, I get it. We are all glad I’m still here.” Nandor said with half-hearted annoyance.
For a moment, and maybe many to follow, Guillermo forgot all about his past hurt, Cannon Capital and needing a purpose. Because in that moment he lived the certainty of having love, a family and a home. And he had the feeling that no matter where purposes lead them, every single one of them would do their best to protect it.
Guillermo found enough room to sneak his arms around Nandor, smiling into his lover’s shoulder.
There was a soft press against the side of his head followed by a coarse but soft voice, whispering next to his ear.
“My sweet sweet Guillermo. My sweet sweet family...”