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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo De La Cruz and Nandor “The Relentless” are two intense hobbyist bakers, facing off against each other and five other (not quite as) passionate and culinarily-inclined locals in a fierce competition (aired on local cable TV, no less). After a full week of baking challenges, they’ll see who among them can make the most crave-able confectioneries themed around the spookiest season.

    Will the heat of the kitchen prove too much for our competitors? Will affection bloom between bakers as they hash out rivalries in between rounds of baking cookies? Will our hosts manage to stop flirting long enough to interview even a single contender? All this and more, in The Big Bloody Bake Off!

    UPDATES ON FRIDAYS!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,384
    Chapters:
    2/8
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    68
  2. Tags
    Summary

    There’s no need to reply to my email, The Relentless. I have no interest in hearing what flimsy justifications you might have for whatever was going through your mind while writing this "book." Write on this matter again, and I will be in touch with your publisher. God encourages me to forgive, but I certainly won’t forget.

    Nandor writes a priest-vampire erotica book. Father Guillermo finally snaps after reading a shitty priest-vampire erotica book. This is a love story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,283
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    391
    Kudos:
    233
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    4194
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Nadja’s lost her club. Laszlo’s lost his son. Colin’s lost his father. And Nandor’s lost everyone he loves… or so he thinks.
    Because guess who’s just been found with a brand new pair of fangs?
    What happens in the aftermath of everything, and how does everyone adjust with a new vampire around?

    or: a speculative wwdits season 5 because the brainworms demand it
    will try to update on wednesdays and fridays !

    title from "bitter water" by the oh hellos

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,067
    Chapters:
    2/10
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    144
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Nadja and Nandor are taking their roles as joint heads of the Vampiric Council very seriously, so they organise a vast supernatural conference on Staten Island. The delegates from New Zealand, gay divorcee (emphasis on gay) Viago and his just-a-friend Anton arrive with more baggage than they declared at customs. Guillermo has something to prove and a plan is hatched which might just get everyone what they want.

    Or it might blow up in their faces.
    (Read notes for setting/timing of this fic)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,433
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    54
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Laszlo Cravensworth, an up and coming film director, hires recent film school graduate Guillermo de la Cruz to shoot his next project, a documentary about a series of small town murders and the local vampire legend surrounding them. Joining them are Laszlo’s long time collaborators: his wife, Nadja Antipaxos, a stellar editor with a penchant for perfection, and his best friend, Nandor Jahan, a keen-eyed cinematographer with his own reasons for taking a back seat on this project. Rounding out their team is studio man Colin Robinson, in charge of keeping their budget balanced and ascertaining risk.

    As the investigation kicks into high gear, the crew finds themselves entangled in a dark mystery spanning the whole course of the town’s history, uncovering secrets about foul truths that lurk within the heart of Coventry, truths that may have been better left buried. And it’s not just the town that has skeletons; the crew members have their own secrets that could threaten their careers, their relationships, maybe even their very lives.

    One thing’s for certain: no one escapes Coventry unchanged. Whether for good or ill all depends on how far you’re willing to go to reveal the truth, and what - or who - you believe in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,473
    Chapters:
    16/40
    Comments:
    264
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2913
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It's impossible to live for as long as Nadja has and not experience love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    641
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    34
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo realizes after a long decade that his servitude probably doesn't mean much at all. A book and years of avoidance confirm his suspicion that a promise on which he has hung his dreams is only that: a dream.

    It's hard to leave someone who you've built your entire life around, but he can do it. Maybe this isn't his happiness. Maybe it could be somewhere else. Guillermo wants to find out, because hell, it hurts too much to stay here.

    Here's the thing: Nandor does not relent. This can be a good thing...sometimes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,643
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    94
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Looking into those shocked eyes, Nandor forgot about the two dead vampires. He didn’t care that he had just failed in his mission, didn’t feel the sting of the crucifix, didn’t give a second thought to the stake pointed at his heart. Crumpled on the floor, trapped, vulnerable, all he felt was safe.

    He took in a breath, trying to voice the feeling before reality could catch up to him. “You-”

    That unfroze the slayer. He pulled the stake back, sprang to his feet and disappeared through the doorway, and once again, Nandor was alone.

    ***

    Desperate for a distraction from his emptiness, Nandor agrees to help the Vampiric Council track down a slayer who’s been targeting esteemed council members. As the hunt goes on and Nandor comes face-to-face with his past, he has to decide where his loyalties lie - and how far he's willing to go to fight for them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,906
    Chapters:
    10/24
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1234
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Shane and Ryan have a new location to cover on Ghost Files

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,540
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    42
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “you will remember nothing of the past twelve years. You will have no recollection of me, Nandor the Relentless, Nadja of Antipaxos, Laszlo Cravensworth, and Colin Robinson.. you will have no memory along with the rest of vampire society.. you will simply go back to your normal, human life with your mother, with your family. Maybe.. go find a job at another shitty bread place, maybe a library..” he pauses for a moment, fingers still waving in front of Guillermo’s face. He inhales, then takes a shaky breath. “You will be happy.. promise me you will be happy, Guillermo..”

    ~

    or in which Nandor wipes the memory of his bodyguard in hopes for a better life. For the both of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,676
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    189
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor’s been having nightmares almost every day since their trip to the casino. At this point, he just wants them to stop. He’s willing to try anything. (The fact that his nightmares are about Guillermo means absolutely nothing.)

    AKA: A study in the depths of Nandor’s denial, Guillermo getting what he wants and how sometimes miscommunication can actually be a good thing.

    (Set after 3x04 The Casino, Canon-Divergent after 3x06 The Escape)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,768
    Chapters:
    9/14
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1898
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Speak to me,” Nandor says, sounding portentous. God, he has a good profile. Just, Guillermo doesn’t know how someone can have a perfect forehead, but Nandor has a perfect forehead. A really good brow bone. “Remind me you are a rational creature.”

    “...I am speaking to you,” Guillermo says. “Actually, I spoke first.”

    ___

    A vampire and a really good baker are chained to a ballroom wall, and they're totally going to die tomorrow.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    54
  13. Tags
    Summary

    If there was ever a man who loved the sound of his own voice, it was Laszlo Cravensworth. It was hard to get him to shut the fuck up, honestly.

    But planning words, that was different.

    Writing speeches? Wasn't even worth the effort of trying.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,298
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    17
  14. Tags
    Summary

    AU where Guillermo kills Laszlo Cravensworth and has to face the consequences while the rest struggle with their grief

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,886
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    271
  15. Tags
    Summary

    There are two Nandors in the house: it seems that Nandor has been split into his "good half" and his "bad half" for reasons yet unknown. Guillermo is now familiar to an extra vampire. How can he put his master back together, when he can barely keep up with the demands of two petty and demanding Nandors?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    224
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Ten Years after the storm that destroyed their childhood home, Max Caulfield and Chloe Price have finally moved onto the next stage of their lives. An enticing Job for a big employer in NYC for Max, and Chloe... making it up as she goes along. The two of them have carved out a relatively normal existence, that is until a chance encounter brings Max’s power back to the forefront and reveals to the pair that Max was never the only one with powers, and that maybe she was never destined for a mundane existence in a world where her perception of normal was despite being slightly abnormal, paled in comparison to reality.

    All thanks to the Federal Bureau of Control and its charismatic and powerful Director, Jesse Faden.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,699
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    3715
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Djinn cums in his pants. Short but cute.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    386
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    52
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor man tits

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    263
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    78
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The Guide hadn’t seen someone this many sheets to the wind since the tricentennial Council Orgy of 1796, and her memory failed her for what she had done back then. What was she supposed to do in a situation like this? What was the protocol for when your boss/friend/crush was violently ill?

    Nadja drinks herself sick after the search for a new nightclub act turns up nothing. With Laszlo away and Nadja absolutely miserable, it’s up to the Guide to get Nadja home and try to pick up the pieces.
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,941
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    84
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by a list of headcanons that I had written for fun but that many seem to have appreciated. Nadja and Laszlo adopt a child, let's see how they do.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,338
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    2603

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