xray_vex
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Haunted by Your Touch by Brainrot_bailey, PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado), xray_vex
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Nov 2022
Tags
Summary
Modern AU.
-- Stede Bonnet is recently divorced and getting on with his life with the help of his friends. It’s Halloween season and Stede’s going to a haunted house with the crew. It’s Stede’s first time going to a haunted attraction. He picks the VIP option, a more extreme experience which allows actors to touch the patrons.
-- Edward Teach has been working as a haunt actor for many seasons. This year he’s been hired by an attraction where actors are permitted to touch guests to give them an extra scare. His character is one he’s perfected over the years, the pirate Blackbeard. He’s gotten weary of being a haunt actor, so he hopes this new gig will bring some more oomph to his life.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Stede has a crush, and there’s nothing he can do about it except watch from his usual spot on the playground at 3pm on Fridays as Mr Teach opens the classroom door.
In which Mr Teach is Louis’ school teacher and Louis adores him, but Stede only gets to see him from afar on his Friday pickups… until something happens at school and Mr Teach needs to talk to him about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,520
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 392
- Bookmarks:
- 78
- Hits:
- 3,001
Bookmarked by xray_vex
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ed Teach is a master tactician, but even he didn't realize that the consequence of asking Stede Bonnet to stab him would be waking up with Stede's hard-on pressed against his ass.
Bookmarked by xray_vex
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
"What's on your mind, Stede?"
"It's just… well, it's rather hard to believe, isn't it?" Stede says.
"What, that Thomas and Maria are snogging already after he left her behind? It's a romance novel, Stede. It's not supposed to be realistic. You've gotta suspend your disbelief a bit, man."
"No, it's not that. It's just… Kissing. All of the romance novels make it out to be this huge, world-changing, earth-shattering experience. And it's just a bit silly, is all."
Ed swallows. "I dunno. It can feel really nice, y'know. With the right person."
Or, Stede confesses that he's never really seen the appeal of kissing before. What is a good co-captain to do but offer his own lips for the taking?
Bookmarked by xray_vex
18 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede tells "Jeff the Accountant" to stand down. He refuses.
So begins an adventure for two very kinky pirates as they fall deeper and deeper in love.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,503
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 77
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 1,565
Bookmarked by xray_vex
18 Jun 2026
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Affect/ive Explorations by PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
Professors Ed and Stede are spending the summer together as planned. But how will cohabiting go for these two?
With art by Sailor’s Ruin.
Series
- Part 5 of The Two-Body Problem
Bookmarked by xray_vex
17 Jun 2026