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    “Well, you are getting something from me. Two things actually: Life-changing sex skills and an opportunity to fuck me—”

    “—Oh, give me a break—”

    “—But,” Ilya says. “What am I getting out of this?”

    “The opportunity to f-fuck me,” Hollander snaps, and yeah, a pretty fair point.

    ilya is failing a class, shane is failing at exploring his sexuality. despite their seven-year-long animosity on the ice, they turn to each other for guidance. a deal is struck.

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    22 Jun 2026

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    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

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    22 Jun 2026

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    Summary:

    Shane Hollander ended things for all the right reasons.

    He has Rose. He has hockey. He has a future that finally makes sense.

    Then Rose points across a crowded Montreal nightclub and says three words:

    "Isn't that Rozanov?"

    Or: What if Ilya ran after Shane that night at the club?

     

    *Hiiiiiiiiii

    So this is my very first fanfic! I am an avid reader here on A03 and after reading literally 100's of stories, I decided to take a crack at it myself. I do not have a beta, so this was all edited me, myself and I. If you see any errors......no you didn't.

    jk - If you see anything that doesn't seem right (grammatically), please let me know. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it for yall!

    <3 <3 <3

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    21 Jun 2026

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    Since Shane’s Calvin Klein campaign dropped, it somehow escaped the hockey bubble entirely and spilled into the general public. There are countless TikToks now—not even from hockey fans, just regular people—posting about his husband in tight white briefs that leave very little to the imagination. Every sports show seems obligated to mention Shane Hollander’s Calvin Klein campaign. It’s inescapable in a way neither of them had expected.

    At first, Ilya thought it was fun. He was glad the world finally saw his husband as the sexy, talented man he’d always known him to be. He liked interacting with fan posts and edits, even sending them to Shane just to watch the way his face would immediately redden.

    But now, the public reaction is a little… much.

    or; Shane’s Calvin Klein campaign goes viral, not only in the hockey sphere, but all over the internet. Ilya tries (and fails) to not show his jealousy.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    21 Jun 2026