Chapter Text
“I do not understand why Nurse Chapel cannot manipulate my DNA so I look Vulcan again,” Spock said as his day was going from mildly inconvenient to a complete disaster.
“Given Joseph and I don’t know how you were stripped of your Vulcan DNA. I don’t really want to be messing with your genes until we know,” Christine said, as she and M’Benga were completely stumped as to what to do.
Spock was fully human, no one could explain how and while they were scratching their heads, he was feeling every emotion all at once. He deeply disliked it all as he always thought his depth of emotions as a Vulcan were troublesome. This was worse as he felt like everything was being blasted at the highest volume. No matter what comforting words his colleagues could give him, none of it soothed him. If all of that wasn’t bad enough, he was supposed to meet his mother and have dinner with T’Pring and her parents to discuss the ‘future’.
It all made him nauseous and sweaty, exceedingly sweaty. He wanted to cancel but everyone was adamant he could not. Now Christine, Erica and Una stood around him plotting some form of hijinks.
“I will take my chances,” Spock said as he didn’t like the look in Una’s eyes as she stared intensely at his face.
“And what will you do if the genetic coding doesn’t stick and you turn back to human during the second course?” Christine asked.
“He could run to the bathroom and pretend to have explosive diarrhea,” Erica suggested half-jokingly.
“I would prefer not to do that,” Spock said, he knew humans and other species were more forgiving of a failing body. Vulcans were not. Especially T’Pring’s parents as they had very exacting standards that he was always failing to meet.
“Spock, some makeup and prosthetics, you’ll be fine. It’s old school disguises before we even had genetic ones,” Una said, Spock didn’t share her confidence as she pushed him back down into his chair.
“We have to get started as Spock’s Mum is on the ship,” La’an announced as she strolled into the room, “Your makeup bag,” she said as she passed over a medium sized bag to Una.
“Thank you.” Una said she unzipped the bag and started rummaging through the contents.
“My Mother is here? She can’t see me like this,” Spock told them adamantly as he wasn't ready to see her.
“We got you, Spock,” Erica assured him.
“Yeah, M’Benga is giving her a tour of the ship which means we have maybe an hour, tops,” La’an offered.
“I don’t know how we’re going to fix his hair.” Christine murmured, she reached out to touch said hair. Spock’s entire body went tense as he really didn’t want to be touched while he was still trying to process his new body. Not that he had that luxury given how little time he had left to prepare for dinner.
“I know how to tame hair, but the eyebrows are going to be the problem. They practically need their own quarters.” Erica said wryly, Spock narrowed his eyes at her as he started to suspect she was not here as moral support.
“I don't like you all standing around me like this and can we limit the touching?” Spock asked them all.
“We’ll do our best,” Christine said.
“We’ll have to shave them,” Una said, she pulled out a thick looking pen device from her bag. She smiled in some perverse satisfaction that made Spock very nervous.
“Shave what?” Spock asked.
“Your eyebrows,” Una said, she pulled off the cap to show a small laser-esque razor.
“La’an, you’re going to have to hold him still,” Una ordered, La’an nodded as she moved to Spock’s back and grabbed his face. Spock’s eyes went wide, a whole gamut of sensations ran through him. Fear, anxiety, a slight tinge of arousal as La’an’s scent tickled his nose, her warm hands on his heated skin. He was not used to anyone touching him like this as he preferred to do his own personal grooming. But as much as he tried, when he looked in the mirror he couldn't see past his human face to find his Vulcan face. He could not show up to dinner as he currently looked. So, he asked for help, something he was deeply regretting in that moment.
“I am not comfortable with this,” Spock told them, he tried to stay still but his body was squirming, his cheeks burned as Una leaned in too close for his personal comfort.
“Do you want T’Pring’s parents to think any less of you than they already do?” Una asked him, she held the razor close to his face.
“No, I just don’t like the look on your face with a razor so close to my eyes.” Spock said, as Una looked like she was enjoying this way too much.
“Close them, this will be quick and will barely hurt,” Una assured him in a soothing tone. Spock reluctantly closed his eyes as he trusted her. But that trust was tested as the first few strokes were like he was being burnt.
“Ow!” he protested, La’an’s grip on him grew tight, somehow her arm was around his neck. Her hand on his forehead. He tried not to think of how his head was pulled back against her soft breast. It was all too personal, too intimate for his liking.
“Barely a sting,” Una promised him.
“A sting? It’s like you’re burning my face off with a phaser,” Spock said, the pain was truly unbearable. The women around him chuckled.
“Beauty is pain, Spock.” Una said in a sage manner. Spock yelped as she went in again with her torturous razor.
“It’s not that bad,” Christine said, Spock was wondering if being human weakened his pain threshold as his grooming tools were never this painful.
“I think I should cancel the dinner and isolate myself in my quarters until this is fixed,” Spock told them, he wondered how much time Una really needed to focus on one eyebrow. His heart was sitting in his throat and pounded in a sickening beat.
“No, you have cancelled two times, if you do it a third, you’ll be persona non grata. You’ll have to live with being your in-laws for 500 years,” Erica said.
“Vulcan lifespan is at most 200 years,” Spock informed her.
“It will feel like 500 years have passed with every meal. Trust me,” Erica assured him in a tone that said she was speaking from experience.
"Don't forget, Captain Pike has spent three days preparing for this dinner. I am not eating all that food because you're wigging out. Just take a breath and relax," Una advised him.
“I believe that eyebrow should be fine.” Spock said to Una, he felt La’an’s grip slip slightly due to his sweat.
“It just needs-” Una zapped another hair and Spock flinched out of reflex when the razor hit a very sensitive nerve in his face. As he flinch, La'an lost her grip. “Hey! Don’t move!” Una shouted but it was too late. He felt the scorching pain across his forehead. Christine, Erica and Una made a collective gasp. Spock got up from his chair and looked for the closest reflective surface. His eyes widened in horror as his right eyebrow looked like a thin misshaped lightning bolt.
“Oh my god,” La’an said as she like the others tried not to laugh.
“What did you do to me?!” Spock asked Una.
“I told you not to move!” Una exclaimed.
“It’s not that bad,” Christine said in a placating manner.
“Not that bad? 90% of my eyebrow is missing!” Spock snapped in a panicked manner. This was catastrophic, he truly felt like his world was coming to an end. He wondered if he had time to fake his death and live on a remote planet for the rest of his days.
“Calm down, it’s not permanent, it will grow back,” Una assured him.
"Not in time for dinner," Erica murmured in amusement.
“No, I will not calm down,” Spock said, breathing heavily as he tried to think of a solution.
“He’s gonna run,” Erica stated, it was a good suggestion to his panicked self. So, he did just that.
He ran, but he soon realised he had two problems as he heard the women shouting behind him. First problem, he didn’t know where to go, he could hide in his quarters, but it would be an obvious place to hide. He could go to the Captain and begged for asylum but he didn’t want to see the man's reaction. The second problem, he couldn’t outrun La’an. Something she proved when she literally jumped onto his back.
Spock groaned from the additional weight as La’an wrapped her legs around his torso, her arms ended up around his neck. Her hands were seemingly everywhere as she nearly blinded him.
“Argh, let go of me!” Spock shouted as he kept running as he tried to pry her off his body but had no success.
“No! Not until you promise to come back and let us finish what we started!” La’an shouted petulantly at him, she gripped onto him even tighter.
“I will not be tortured!” Spock argued, no matter how hard he tried she would not let go.
“We are trying to help you and we can fix the eyebrow if you gave us a chance!” La’an shouted.
In the distance, Erica, Christine and Una watched the two as Spock haphazardly ran down the hallway with La’an trying to take him down.
“Where is he even going? We’re on a ship in the middle of space, he has nowhere to run to!” Erica stated, she cupped her hands around her mouth, “Hey! You got nowhere to run to!” she shouted at Spock.
“Should we stop them?” Christine asked, just as the question came out Spock and La’an careened into a wall.
“Oh that looked like it hurt,” Una remarked, as the two managed to get to their feet only to haphazardly fall onto the opposite wall.
“I think La’an has it now...” Erica observed. Just as it looked like maybe La’an had Spock subdued, he got back up and continued to run, slowly albeit with La’an still attached to his back.
“Or not,” Christine said.