Work Text:
DAVE: hey prof im having a hard time with tonights homework
JOHN: send a pic and i’ll help you.
DAVE: attachment: nonophoto.png
JOHN: of the homework...
DAVE: my bad
DAVE: attachment: wtfadaptation.png
JOHN: okay so your first problem here is that i kind of need you to WRITE something, not draw cartoons of nic cage and alligators.
DAVE: i want you to know that that was an impossible ask
DAVE: i am a very impressive man
DAVE: i mean obviously youve seen me
JOHN: yeah, i’m gonna go ahead and ignore that.
DAVE: please as if you don’t get that all the time
DAVE: i bet you get people pretending to fail on purpose every damn day
DAVE: “oh no teach please ill do anything”
DAVE: im sorry i didnt do the pigtails and short plaid skirt thing
DAVE: is that why youre still expecting me to do my homework i just didnt meet your standards
DAVE: because i can get a skirt
DAVE: i dont know about the pigtails my hair isnt that long and a wig is a bit of an investment you know
JOHN: again: ignoring that.
JOHN: tell me about how the final act is a betrayal of charlie’s filmmaking stance.
DAVE: again: impossible ask
DAVE: dude i could sooner fight off a million alligators than answer a single question about this movie
DAVE: itd be easier for me to paint a replica of the sistine chapel on the lecture theatre roof
DAVE: id commit to a lifetime of not being completely fucking awesome before i could come CLOSE to dredging up some kind of academic opinion on this topic
JOHN: dave, come on.
JOHN: you’re a smart kid. i believe in you!
DAVE: ok thank you and youre right im awesome
DAVE: but every time i try and process even a line from this movie im tormented by nic cages face
JOHN: this is one of nic cage’s finest films!
DAVE: ok i believe you but the competition isnt exactly fierce
JOHN: how DARE you.
DAVE: look hes super distracting in a bad way and he plays TWO characters
DAVE: what is he lindsay lohan now
JOHN: that’d make a good comparative essay if you wanted to make that your final assessment.
DAVE: oh my god no
DAVE: john please no
JOHN: i’m not saying you HAVE to dave, jeez!
JOHN: i’m just saying that there is an essay due at the end of the semester and i’d be interested in the contrast in movies’ portrayal of twins.
JOHN: hey, face/off would be another great option there.
JOHN: look at how awesome i’m being right now, just handing you essay topics. :B
DAVE: john im on my knees here asking you not to give me any more suggestions
DAVE: the psychic damage will kill me
DAVE: literally on my knees if thatll help me get out of this
DAVE: wink
JOHN: i cannot express enough that you’re being super inappropriate.
JOHN: you’re my student.
JOHN: i’m literally twice your age.
DAVE: i do yoga fyi
DAVE: you could totally bend me in half
DAVE: my ankles on your shoulders
DAVE: you pinning me down
DAVE: we could do it on your desk im pretty sure itd be the perfect height
DAVE: thoughts?
JOHN: you’re. my. student.
DAVE: cmon this is one of the most popular genres on pornhub you cant tell me its not doing it for you
DAVE: ill wear the skirt
JOHN: dave, i seriously can’t.
DAVE: ok ok i hear you
DAVE: attachment: cushybussy.png
DAVE: wow whoops what a disaster i totally sent you that by mistake
DAVE: you better not open it that would be mad inappropriate.
DAVE: i think i get props for how hard that was to take
DAVE: but you know
DAVE: not as hard as it would be for some people because of the yoga im twisty
JOHN: i shouldn’t be looking at this.
DAVE: you did though didnt you
JOHN: ...
DAVE: attachment: asscrevasse.png
DAVE: what would you do if i was there?
DAVE: wait where are you i want to have some accuracy all up in this business
DAVE: this business being my filthy imagination
JOHN: i’m in my office, which makes this about a million times worse.
DAVE: teach you misspelled “better” thats so embarrassing for you
DAVE: shits not even a third grade word you should know that one
DAVE: but if the above suggestion aint on the table
DAVE: (wordplay bitch)
DAVE: i could play it cool
DAVE: ive visited your office before your desk is classy as fuck
DAVE: got a back to it and everything so i couldnt play footsie with you
DAVE: which is a bummer but makes this suggestion better
DAVE: i could totally fit under there without anyone seeing
JOHN: i’m not crawling under my desk to fuck you.
JOHN: i mean, i’m not fucking you anywhere, but that’s logistically impossible.
DAVE: nah you stay nice and comfy in your chair
DAVE: im gonna make good on my promise to get on my knees
DAVE: lookin up at you from under your desk all cheeky
DAVE: and maybe im not taking off your pants just yet
DAVE: just tracing over the outline of your dick with my fingertips
DAVE: cause youre hard right
JOHN: i’m
DAVE: its cool you dont have to say i know you are
DAVE: now im breathing over your pants
DAVE: my breath is hot but theres no pressure
DAVE: im being a tease
DAVE: and i hope to god youre teasing yourself right now too because sexting just aint as fun if youre not playin along
DAVE: you could ask me to get on with it
DAVE: maybe even beg
JOHN: dave, please.
DAVE: nah thats not gonna work for me
DAVE: youre in charge sir
DAVE: manners only get you so far
JOHN: dave.
DAVE: yeah?
JOHN: suck my dick.
JOHN: now.
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: yeah okay
DAVE: im getting your pants undone and im real eager about it
DAVE: i bet thats not hard to replicate huh professor
DAVE: you want me bad
JOHN: dave, you have a job to do.
JOHN: i will not ask you again.
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: yes im
DAVE: my hand is around your dick
DAVE: i give you a slow stroke up and down just to feel the size of you
DAVE: are you all the way hard for me?
JOHN: not yet.
DAVE: awesome i want to feel you swell in my mouth
DAVE: i kiss the head of your dick
DAVE: cut y/n
JOHN: no.
DAVE: ok i am for reference like if you wanted to touch me thatd be cool im just giving you the full picture
JOHN: i know, dave. you literally already gave me the full picture.
DAVE: right
JOHN: are you touching yourself right now?
DAVE: fantasy or reality
JOHN: both.
DAVE: ok yes to both
JOHN: i’m gonna need you to stop.
DAVE: john cmon this is really fucking hot i cant just not touch myself the union wont have it
JOHN: don’t worry, i’ll tell you when you can.
DAVE: nnnngh ok
JOHN: keep going.
DAVE: ok so i stroke you and pull your foreskin down with my fist so i can lick along your slit
DAVE: then i stroke back up again and i suck real wet over your head
DAVE: i stay there and keep sucking as i stroke back down
JOHN: i’m kind of getting impatient. can i push your head down?
DAVE: yes yeah you could do that
DAVE: dont need to ask im here for you to use me
JOHN: ok i grab your hair and push you down.
JOHN: then i pull you back up again because fuck that felt really good and i need more.
DAVE: john please let me touch myself
JOHN: not yet.
JOHN: wait, actually, you should put your fingers in your mouth.
JOHN: i’m still gripping your hair and making you take my dick, i want you to make that happen with your fingers.
DAVE: ok
DAVE: yeah ok
DAVE: im tryin real hard not to moan but i fucking love the feeling of your dick stretching my lips
DAVE: and the taste of you on my tongue
DAVE: and i really really want to touch myself please
JOHN: not yet.
JOHN: and i need you to keep quiet. my door’s open.
DAVE: im trying
DAVE: im really trying
JOHN: what happens if i pull you down a little too far? does that shut you up?
DAVE: if you give me no warning then i probably kinda choke a lil
DAVE: mouth gets all tight around you and i make a noise but its quiet i swear
DAVE: gimme a sec to recover and ill be ready next time
JOHN: ok i do that
DAVE: then i take it like a fucking champion
DAVE: going for the gold medal at the dick sucking olympics
DAVE: my fingers arent fucking long enough i want this so bad
DAVE: want to feel you in my throat
JOHN: i can feel you.
JOHN: you feel so fucking good.
JOHN: i whisper that to you because i know you like it when i praise you in class so i’m guessing...
DAVE: yeah good fuckin guess
DAVE: i grab your thighs your hips and try and pull you forward so youre fucking my mouth
DAVE: want to be good
DAVE: please let me touch myself i want it so bad
JOHN: soon, baby, you’re doing so well.
DAVE: fuvk i
DAVE: i want more
DAVE: im really pulling your hips forward please fuck my mputh
JOHN: yeah ok
JOHN: i’m still holding your hair but i’m thrusting now i;m meeting you halfway
JOHN: it’s pretty fast now, but you’re taking it so well aren’t you
DAVE: yes
DAVE: john please
JOHN: ok you can touch yourseld
DAVE: thank you thank you fuck oh my god
DAVE: fuck john im gonna
JOHN: i’m not gonna stop if you do
JOHN: i need
DAVE: yes yes fuck john im
DAVE: howd i do teach
JOHN: yeah
JOHN: i
JOHN: i really shouldn’t have done that at work.
DAVE: whoops
JOHN: i should make you do EXTRA homework for that.
DAVE: aw come on
JOHN: i won’t but i should.
DAVE: cmon professor wasnt i good?
JOHN: yeah.
DAVE: soooo can i avoid this homework or what
JOHN: no, you’re doing the homework.
JOHN: bad enough that i did that, i’m not making it some kind of payment.
DAVE: boo
JOHN: and it can’t happen again.
DAVE: fiiiiiiine
JOHN: i’m serious, dave!
DAVE: yeah me too im absolutely not planning on sexting you again
JOHN: just
JOHN: go do your homework.
DAVE: yes sir
DAVE: 😘
DAVE: im bored
JOHN: you’re supposed to be doing a test??
DAVE: thats why im bored professor
JOHN: put your phone away and do the test.
DAVE: i actually finished already
DAVE: im a pretty bomb student
DAVE: like the kind you dont want to drop but you wanna keep in reserve just so all the other students dont fuckin mess with you
DAVE: thats right i spend a reckless portion of my budget on my ability to throw down with other students even though i have no personal stakes in anything theyre doing
DAVE: could pour that expenditure into the economy but i like to play it fast and loose
DAVE: im naughty that way
JOHN: dave, oh my god.
JOHN: if you’re done, hand your test in and go play minesweeper in the library or whatever.
DAVE: okay first of all spider solitaire all the way
DAVE: second of all windows doesnt even come preloaded with games anymore you have to like download them its total bullshit
DAVE: way to ruin my childhood and make me feel old
DAVE: back in my day we used to spend way too much time playing boring card games on the computer because apps werent really a thing
JOHN: yeah i’m 43 so i’m literally older than windows.
JOHN: i was 16 when the ps1 came out.
DAVE: well i remember when the first iphone came out
DAVE: kinda
JOHN: just go to the library!
DAVE: THIRD of all
DAVE: im playing a game right here its called bother the professor
DAVE: im reaching for a high score
JOHN: i should mark you incomplete for having your phone out during the test.
JOHN: you could be cheating.
DAVE: maybe in your day dinosaur
DAVE: the test was online
DAVE: pfft paper tests
DAVE: okay i did those back in middle school and yeah we would have got in shit for using our phones during but dude
DAVE: come on
JOHN: this is hell.
DAVE: whatcha thinkin bout
JOHN: whether bludgeoning a student to death would REALLY be all that wrong if i could prove that the student was being a pain in the ass at the time.
JOHN: i think the dean would understand if i explained it was you.
JOHN: he’d be like “oh, dave strider? actually you should have a raise for doing that. we have all been wanting to murder him for a year and a half.”
DAVE: want to know what im thinking about?
JOHN: no.
DAVE: im thinking about me annoying you so bad that you spank me
JOHN: you said you wouldn’t do this again!
DAVE: oh no youre right
DAVE: i deserve a punishment
JOHN: i’m not doing this.
DAVE: oh my god sir im gonna be jerking it to the memory of that stern look you just gave me for literally the rest of my life
DAVE: i bet your voice would be all disapproving too
DAVE: im imagining you bending me over your knee literally right now in front of all these people
DAVE: pulling my pants down and its all businesslike because im not supposed to enjoy it
DAVE: but you can feel my boner against your thigh already
DAVE: maybe if you spank me like you mean it ill stop getting off on it
JOHN: stop.
DAVE: funny how you could have turned your phone off at any point
DAVE: anyway now im thinking about how fucking massive your hands are like seriously are you in a yaoi
DAVE: bet you could put some force behind it too
JOHN: just go, ok?
DAVE: wow no thatd be so awkward
DAVE: everyone would see my boner
JOHN: fuck.
DAVE: are you gonna join in or should i just keep talking
JOHN: i’m not sexting you in the classroom!!
JOHN: or anywhere!!!!!!
DAVE: ok so you spank me again
JOHN: ashewfuhvaew
DAVE: my ass is getting all pink
DAVE: when you rest your hand on it and it’s hot under your palm
DAVE: sorry professor am i still being bad?
JOHN: YES!
DAVE: what are you gonna do about it
JOHN: i’m
DAVE: fuck youre adorable
DAVE: look at you with your red cheeks and biting your lip
DAVE: give in teach you know you want to
JOHN: don’t wink at me!
DAVE: dont glare at me
JOHN: you’re so bad!
DAVE: yeah?
JOHN: i bet you wouldn’t actually be such a smartass if i really was to spank you.
DAVE: want me to come down and you can see
JOHN: i spank you. hard.
DAVE: oh are we playing?
DAVE: sweet
DAVE: i make a small grunting noise
DAVE: is that all you got?
JOHN: i press the heel of my hand into your ass where it’s red.
DAVE: ok that probably hurts
DAVE: i want more though
DAVE: my dicks still hard against your thigh
JOHN: ok i spank you again. at that place where your upper thigh meets your ass, where it’s more sensitive.
JOHN: and again, harder, same place.
DAVE: thats so fucking good
DAVE: it makes me moan but i’m not gonna say if it’s pleasure or pain
JOHN: i think your audience is interested in you showing a more vulnerable side. :B
DAVE: fuck i forgot there were people here
DAVE: ok im not gonna make any more noises
JOHN: if you say so.
JOHN: i bet i could make you moan for real, from halfway across the classroom.
DAVE: im a uni student living on campus in shared residences
DAVE: i have one roommate in the literal same room as me and the whole hallway has really thin walls
DAVE: i can keep fucking quiet under slightly lower stakes than this
DAVE: you on the other hand
DAVE: you have your own place and you GARDEN so its standalone right
DAVE: i bet you dont worry about what you sound like ever
JOHN: i’m also not 19.
JOHN: and i’m not the one being spanked.
DAVE: dont look at me like that thats cheating
JOHN: i do not know what you could possibly mean.
DAVE: like youre going to give me detention or something
JOHN: “or something”, huh?
JOHN: like maybe i’m gonna put you over my knee?
JOHN: oh hey, i got you to stop looking smug.
JOHN: i’m pretty sure i should get a medal for that.
JOHN: what’s the matter, kiddo?
JOHN: were you more comfortable when it was just words?
DAVE: oh bring it on professor
DAVE: im getting off your lap
DAVE: we know you like it when i suck your dick
JOHN: nope! stopping you there.
JOHN: stay right here.
JOHN: and i’m gonna give you another spank for trying to get out of it.
DAVE: ok you
DAVE: you got me
DAVE: im gonna moan
DAVE: (in fantasy)
DAVE: (in reality my dongpolisher is closed up tighter than a blockbusters with black mould)
DAVE: what a shocker the guy whos hot for teacher likes being put in his place
JOHN: i’m just stroking your butt now, just feeling how soft and hot it is.
DAVE: even thats a lot right now and im kind of flinchy cause i dont know if youre gonna hit me again
JOHN: just a little one. pretty much just a pat.
DAVE: its still sore but thats just right to give me the good amount of pain
DAVE: jesus my dicks leaking so much its probably soaking through your slacks
JOHN: yeah?
DAVE: yeah i kinda want to grind into you
DAVE: holdin it in for now but its really tempting
JOHN: i’m stroking your butt again, both hands now.
JOHN: spreading your cheeks just to see where the redness stops.
DAVE: fuck
JOHN: youve got a pretty hole, you know.
JOHN: i liked your pictures.
DAVE: you should send me some
DAVE: you know for fairness
DAVE: not now obviously
DAVE: wait yes now
DAVE: cmon sir snap a pic of whats going on under the desk
JOHN: i’m gonna stroke your asshole now.
JOHN: just gentle with my fingertip while my other hand keeps firm grip, keeping you spread.
DAVE: fuck
JOHN: yeah that’s it.
JOHN: i’m just teasing for now, but you want more, don’t you?
DAVE: yes
DAVE: my legs are twitching with how much i want it
JOHN: are you gonna be good?
DAVE: yes anything
JOHN: good boy
JOHN: did you just make a noise?
DAVE: i coughed
DAVE: it was nothing i just had to cough
JOHN: i suck my finger so it’s nice and wet for you and push it inside you.
DAVE: fucj
DAVE: im thrusting my hips a lil so i can fuck myself on your finger and grind against your leg
DAVE: professor you look really turned on
DAVE: careful youll get caught
JOHN: i push another finger into you.
DAVE: ok im moaning whenever you move them and my hips are still jerking
JOHN: i spank you on the cheek i was keeping stretched open.
DAVE: oh fuck that really
DAVE: really does it for me please
DAVE: keep going
JOHN: no i’m not waiting anymore.
JOHN: i pick you up and push your head so you’re bent over the desk.
JOHN: i keep your ass up and on display for me.
JOHN: i hold your asshole open with my thumb as i open my belt and pants.
JOHN: i spit on my hand so i can get my dick wet and make it easier.
JOHN: i pull you back towards me as i thrust in.
DAVE: john fuck
DAVE: yes
DAVE: dont stop
JOHN: ok i wont im
JOHN: you’re so tight and you look so good.
DAVE: im a fuckin mess
DAVE: barely holding myself up
DAVE: my hairs crazy im sweating through my shirt
DAVE: drooling on my arm
DAVE: legs shaking and im trying to push back to meet you cause it feels fucking amazing
JOHN: fuck
JOHN: you don’t have to worru i’m gonna take care of it
JOHN: hold your hips hard and take control of all your movements.
DAVE: yes fuck
DAVE: fuck me sir i need it
DAVE: please
JOHN: immm
DAVE: ...
DAVE: john?
DAVE: dude are you ok??
DAVE: are you coughing because thats how i disguised my noise earlier
DAVE: i mean because thats what you thought i was doing i wasnt actually doing that
DAVE: are you having a heart attack???
DAVE: ok cool so youre not dead could you maybe spare a glance at your phone
DAVE: did i make you choke on your own spit or something
JOHN: i’m fine, jeez.
JOHN: and i’m not that old, i’m not having a heart attack!
JOHN: heart attacks don’t even remotely resemble coughing fits.
DAVE: what happened?
JOHN: nothing!!!!!!
DAVE: it didnt look like nothing
DAVE: it kind of looked like
DAVE: did you jizz your pants
DAVE: john
DAVE: john
DAVE: sir
DAVE: professor egbert
DAVE: i will raise my hand so help me god
JOHN: nothing happened.
DAVE: so stand up then
JOHN: no.
DAVE: dude if you tell me the truth then i can go bring you some paper towel or some shit in between classes
DAVE: you cant sit there all day with spunk in your pants
JOHN: i am fine.
DAVE: ok so keep sexting me
DAVE: or is it not as fun now youve creamed yourself
JOHN: shit class is nearly over.
DAVE: john seriously i legally need to know if you got slimed
DAVE: wait i can do better
DAVE: did you get dunked in erectoplasm
JOHN: dude.
DAVE: dont assign ghostbusters in a film studies class if im not allowed to make dongjuice jokes
DAVE: also dont assign ghostbusters in a film studies class
JOHN: i didn’t assign ghostbusters.
JOHN: i assigned ghostbusters 2.
DAVE: are you coated in daddy sauce or what
JOHN: yes! ok??
JOHN: you’re the bartender and you served me up a jumbo sized penis colada.
JOHN: are you happy???
DAVE: so very happy
JOHN: ugh.
DAVE: do you want me to bring you paper towel
JOHN: yes please.
DAVE: so like do i get an a on this test or what
JOHN: if you earned it
DAVE: i really think i did
JOHN: you probably did anyway!
JOHN: you’re a good student.
DAVE: ok i absolutely am but also your class is really easy
JOHN: rude.