1 - 20 of 1,277 Works in Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The infamous food critic has arrived at the Cupcakeria for his infamous game of "Cook or Cull" and unfortunately for Willow, she happens to be the one running the kitchen today.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,532
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    8
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Hal: Alright kiddos, gather 'round. Got some good news, some bad news and some sorta in between news.
    Hal: First off everyone owes Dave 50 bucks, turns out he's right about the theory of Jane busting out aliens and that's why everyone has lost their collective shit all over the place.
    TT: What.
    EB: what!
    GG: omg what!
    TG: what
    GT: Great scott!
    TG: nice one jake you totally ruined the family whatening that was going on
    TG: but seriously what

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,163
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    36
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Sollux messages Eridan in the middle of the night, he isn't expecting much. Eridan hasn't been around for a sweep, and nobody quite knows what happened to him after Feferi challenged the Empress and escaped.

    But Eridan has been shipped off to the military, and something is not quite right. Little clues escape between his words, and the clock keeps turning out of sync with every passing second.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,265
    Chapters:
    59/?
    Comments:
    602
    Kudos:
    728
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    12119
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Tell me where you’ve seen my life—
    you’ve been biting my hands and knocking me down
    down to the ground.
    Tell me where you’ve been my life—
    I see only what you see, face who you face,
    be who you want to be.

    Clashing lies and clashing thighs.
    Clashing chasing changing minds.
    Tell me what you’ve seen, tell me where you’ve gone,
    tell me where you’ve been.
    Tell me what you saw.

    — Blonde Redhead, ‘Spring and by Summer Fall

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,955
    Chapters:
    15/21
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1216
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A stranger is sitting casually on your couch, right in the middle—wearing old, scratched-up, ugly-ass aviators indoors, looking all cool and unruffled—like he has every right to be there. What the fuck.

    “What the fuck,” you growl, standing frozen on the threshold.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,529
    Chapters:
    3/7
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    709
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The Handmaid has had compassion extended to her by the rebels, and that has changed her. She's changed quite a lot, and she credits the Signless and his friends for it - and she's caught some rather strong feelings, too. She can't bring herself to say any of it in person, so she instead tries to do so over text.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,037
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    51
  7. Tags
    Summary

    (Homestuck-Madoka Magica crossover) On an Earth that seems reset to pre-SBURB normalcy, Dave Strider transfers to Mitakihara. There he finds the magical girl system, more universe breaking powers, and an Akemi Homura all too eager to fix her time abilities with his...

     

    AU crossover fic that diverges just before Homestuck's Credits and Puella Magi Madoka Magica's Rebellion movie.

    Fic updates every month.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    199,639
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Comments:
    387
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    11747
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The humans have the first SBURB session instead of the trolls. After their victory is snatched from them at the last second, they hide in The Veil on a meteor and try to come up with a plan. Things go a little differently.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,962
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    203
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A gamebreaking glitch tore the game session to shreds, right before they reached the end. Dirk Strider was already dead at the time. Temporarily. Which left him to revive in the aftermath. As the Prince of Heart, he doesn't have much experience putting souls back together, only breaking them, but at this point he seems to be the only one who even knows shit is broken.

    He's the last person who'd trust himself with this. Not when he's out of time, out of place, and over his head being responsible for a little brother, a life, and a body his conveniently dead asshole of a splinterself already, thoroughly fucked up.

    AKA: A game crash creates an unholy mashup of who the hell knows how many sburb sessions, and Dirk-as-Bro attempts to figure out wtf happened and how to fix shit for the brother who fears him, and the friends who don’t remember him. Because that’s what he does. But no Dirk has ever excelled when truly alone. Good thing he isn’t, he just needs to learn how to accept the help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    344,225
    Chapters:
    78/?
    Comments:
    1786
    Kudos:
    1460
    Bookmarks:
    278
    Hits:
    41121
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dirk Striders Auto-Responder needs to put his indistinguishability to the test.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,646
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    316
  11. Tags
    Summary

    [TEMP NOTICE: IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR "THEY CALL ME DARK FROM THE START" IT'S THIS I JUST CHANGED THE TITLE]

    A very long time ago, a junk, broken down spirit was relentlessly ridiculed and feared for the rumors of him being evil. He never understood why when his other form had been just as painful for him to endure, yet the cookies loved it.

    Having enough, he decided to pour his remaining energy into giving the living cookies some absolutely hellish reasons to hate him.

    After all the surprising amount of entropy that such a weak, feeble body could provide, he was sealed away in a coffin by a former friend for many, many years. Anyone is free to open this coffin and re-release hell on Earthbread at any time, but even some of the darkest overlords feel a horrid dread while approaching it.

    Your name is Black Garlic Cookie, and you wanna make your return from a long hiatus something unforgettable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,504
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    450
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dave suggests to his sister that they have a joint competition in a familiar game as a way to spend time with their girlfriends. Rose agrees and the stakes grow high as each couple uses all their skill to win. Would this quest prove to be too much for the powerful saviors of the new world? Or is this another Friday night for them?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    921
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    13
  13. Tags
    Summary

    PS: u gotta flip it turnways

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    26
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Post-game AU where basically everybody gets reincarnated, but nobody expects the spanish inquisition Hal to reincarnate, because why would he? He was an AI.
    but surprise surprise it happens anyway. like. look at the tags of fucking course he's gonna be in this he's the main character

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,773
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    52
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat can't sleep.

    Short snip with some Karkat & Vriska friendship on the post-retcon meteor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,112
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    385
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dave and Rose are twins. They live with their single mom, who loves them and takes good care of them. Their 2 older siblings, Dirk and Roxy, have gone off to college. Everything seems normal.

    But one night, a man comes to the house to speak with Mom. Dave and Rose find out that he is their father (whom Mom had divorced before they could remember), and that he wants custody of one of the children. When Mom refuses, he abducts Dave and takes him back to Houston. Dave and Rose then grow up apart, Rose with Mom and Dave with his “father” (or Bro, as he makes Dave call him). Mom starts breaking down after Dave is taken, and she relapses into alcoholism. Though the twins grow up in different situations, neither is taken care of well; Dave is actively abused (physically and mentally) whereas Rose is treated with neglect.

    Even though specific memories fade over time, the twins grow up remembering each other, and from the moment they’re separated onwards, they have one goal in mind: to see each other again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,452
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    190
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter has fallen into an unknown world of magic, wizards and witches. There's just this one little thing that doesn't quite make sense. A few of them in fact. Yeah, none of this makes any sense, what the fuck is going on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,438
    Chapters:
    65/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    629
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Nothing is ever truly lost, especially not something as strong as the love of a pair separated by circumstances. But neither time nor space can hold them back from reuniting once more.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    8
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Before her first conversation with the fabled Tentacle Therapist, writer of the game walkthroughs, Kanaya spent much time daydreaming about what she would say to her. This is amongst the many things she wished to confess, even if it would remain in the pages of old messages.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    8
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "Yeah, like fuck I’m doing that. You wanted attention, Strider? Now you've got it. Let's have a little chat. In private." You open the door and find a crowd of middle-schoolers hanging around the lockers, you have no clue why there're so many at this hour. Vantas lets out a strangled howl of frustration. You're tempted to throw ‘define privacy’ back at him but you're not feeling it.

    "Dude, your attention's literally the last thing I'd want. It's like at the bottom of the list, like right after a bursted appendix."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,123
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    995

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