Chapter Text
Day 1
Buck’s POV:
Evan Buckley had always known chaos. In fact, he thrived in it. The feeling of adrenaline coursing through his blood - the way that the air would whip past him, the way that his heart would beat faster, pumping and pulsing to the point where it made his chest hurt. He loved it. His whole life he had chased it, craved it like it was a part of him. It was in his DNA, it had to be. There was no other way to describe it. No other possible explanation to why he searched for it, daring the rules and karma until he felt that tangible fire thrum again. It was why he wanted to be a firefighter. The heat of the flames welcoming him and hugging him, a physical representation of the chaos he seeked.
Maybe it was because he was only born to be a solution. A one off cure of flesh and bone, born to follow orders and be careful. Maybe it was the universe's way of apologizing, giving him a purpose outside of the tragedy that was his birth. Yet, just like the insincere apologies from his parents, it seemed like the universe was also giving him a half assed apology. Perhaps it was partially his fault - after all, he looked death in the eyes and didn’t flinch. Didn’t move even when he was being crushed under its weight, or when death strikes him from the heavens. Maybe better yet, the universe had had enough with his thrill seeking search for chaos - it wouldn’t be too far out of the realm of possibility that the universe was exhausted by Evan “Buck” Buckley. It’s solution? Well perhaps it was time for Buck to get a taste of his own medicine, his own chaos.
It was 5 am on a Friday morning when Buck got the first unwelcome sip of the universe's medicine for him. His alarm beeped beside him on his nightstand - an aggravating sound that always made his ears ring, but it was the only alarm that could even force himself out of bed. Anything else only aided his return to sleep. Usually he could get away with not having to endure the noise for too long. His body slowly and naturally waking up well before the clock hit 5. Today was not one of those days, seeing as he hadn’t had to wake up this early in over 2 weeks. He had been on leave for about almost 3 weeks now due to a recent addition to Buck’s life. Theo, the little wild clone of him who had barreled into his life like a wrecking ball, climbing up the electrical tower to chase after a balloon. A balloon, which if that wasn’t enough of a tell that the kid was biologically his he would’ve forced you to get your eyes checked. The blonde curls and the mischievous smirk were the other clear signals of their shared genetics.
It had been barely even 2 months since Kameron and Conner had passed - two months since Buck had carried Theo away from the wreckage, holding the kid that his friends had longed for in his arms. Two months since Theo was placed in the foster system as he waited for a new home, a new family - one that Buck had forcefully told himself that he wasn’t. He couldn’t be a part of Theo’s family, he didn’t have any right to be. Theo, although he was Bucks kid in all biological sense, wasn’t his kid. He was Conner’s and Kameron’s kid - who was he to try and state otherwise?
It had been hard, forcing himself to let go and move on from the bright eyed trouble maker who had grabbed his heart and hadn’t let go. A month where every little thing reminded him of Theo. Hanging out with Christopher who had chosen the new spiderman skin as his player for the game. A cute spiderman hoodie at the grocery store. Kids running around the park during his evening run. One month of constant reminders of Theo.
One month of agonizing stress and work calls; Athena getting shot and rushed to the hospital, Eddie getting shot while at the hospital then bleeding out alone in the elevator. Calls upon calls of raging fires and other emergencies - more car accidents and lost children. More and more signs and reminders of the little boy who had stolen his heart the moment he dubbed him “Mr. Poop”.
Buck didn’t really believe in signs and the prophetic drawl of the universe. Not truly - of course there were some things that couldn't be rationally explained in any sense. He would be a hypocrite to say that he hadn’t seen and followed some of the more obvious ones. Signs that would pop up throughout his life, spear heading him into the next chapter - the next adventure. Regardless, Buck was also stubborn and despite what had to be the most crystal clear signs the universe had ever given him, he ignored them. He had too. Or he did, until the universe got fed up with him.
It had been a random Wednesday. He had just gotten off of a long 72 hour shift - one riddled with signs and clues and reminders - all of which he ignored steadfastly. His mind and body ached, aching with the exhaustion and strain from the last three days. All he wanted to do was sleep longing to crash onto his bed and sleep off the next 48 hours in solitude. He almost managed it. He had made his way to his room, changing out of his “comfort work clothes” into pj’s, about to settle into bed. Sleep had been just a few minutes away. He had set his phone on his nightstand, laying half in and half on his sheets as he fluffed the pillow behind him. Closing his eyes he had felt his body beginning to relax, the darkness behind his eyelids fading from the forced absence of light to the exit of consciousness. Or it would’ve been if his phone hadn’t started to ring, aggressively.
His first thought was along the lines of an emergency. Maddie, Chimney, Eddie, Chris - anyone from the 118. Danger, something had to be wrong. Flipping the phone around, the brightness of the screen blinded him as he quickly tried to lower it, struggling for a few seconds before the light died down. When he could finally see, he looked at the caller id, about to answer when he paused. Instead of a familiar contact name, he found an unknown number. Yet, it wasn’t a scam call - no, this number had a name attached.
Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family services.
His brain short circuited, freezing him in his tracks. DCFS? What were? Why were they? The phone stopped ringing and he watched, frozen as his screen went back to the lock screen. A notification popped through, a red phone signaling that he missed a call. He was still staring - his half sleep-addled mind still figuring out what was happening as another notification appeared.
“New voicemail from LA DCFS”
His fingers clumsily opened it, navigating to his caller history and to the voicemail page. Where lo and behold, a new voicemail was sent. At 10:53 pm. On Wednesday May 6th. From the Los Angeles Child and Family services department. Shakily, he brought the phone up to his ear, not even trying to switch to speaker.
‘Mr. Buckley. It’s Deidra, I’m not sure if you remember me but we met at the Hospital about a month back. Anyways I’m calling you on behalf of one Theo Riley. While I cannot disclose much over the phone, I would like to schedule a meeting with you in regard to Theo’s housing situation. While as you are probably aware - Theo was placed with a temporary family 2 months ago as per his parent's death. However, it appears that Theo is not acclimating well with the family nor the change. We would like to discuss alternate placements for Theo during this time. Please give me a call back at this number to schedule an appointment’.
It had taken him roughly about ten minutes to fully understand what he just heard. Replaying the voice mail three times as he rushed to the shower, but only after chugging a freshly made cup of coffee. It had been well past 1 am by the time he even made it back to bed but unlike the hours before he was far too revved up to sleep. Though he eventually did, dreams filled with the sound of childlike laughter and a young boy staring up at him with blonde curls and troublemaking blue eyes.
The next few days passed in a blur. Scheduling meetings, going in, talking and discussing and paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. Before he knew it, it had been a week since that phone call and every ounce of stability and stubbornness had disappeared. By the next Saturday, Buck had signed the last sheet of paper. The last bit of paperwork needed so he could foster Theo. That had been three weeks ago and now Bucks home had grown to accommodate another. Theo - his kid. His responsibility now.
Harshly he dragged a hand across his face, groaning. He didn’t even want to look over at the time. The thought of acknowledging how asinine a time it was to be awake sounded like an awful idea. He would rather just fall back asleep, but he couldn’t. Not today. Draping his arm across his eyes he took a breath. Breathing in the crisp air of his room, the way the air carried the slight scent of his cologne and body wash as well as the faint remainders of the candle he had lit last night. The mattress beneath his back was soft, squishy - it had been well worth it, in his humble opinion, to spend the money on a memory form mattress. The long hours and sore muscles that usually accompanied him home from shifts were a pain to deal with, especially with a terrible mattress. Now though he wishes he hadn’t spent the money, longing for the more uncomfortable bed to further push him awake.
He’s debating sleeping in for a few more minutes (read 1 more hour) when he hears the doorknob to his room twist. He doesn’t manage to sit up in time before the light of the hallway feeds into his room, disrupting the darkness. Blinking back tears from the sharpness of the light, he cranes his neck, looking towards the door. At first, he can’t see anything, partially due to his position but luckily, he doesn’t have to look anymore as a soft childlike voice breaks through the quiet.
“Buck” the voice whispers, softly and quietly. Sitting up, Buck’s eyes found the source of the noise, looking at the blackened silhouette of the young boy in his care standing in the doorway.
Rubbing his eyes, he sits up fully.
“Theo, what, what are you doing awake bud?” He asks quietly.
“I, I frew up.” The boy whispers and Buck blinks. Then blinks again as the words register in his head.
“You, what?”
“I frew up, in my bed. My tummy hurts”
His brain finally catches up with what he’s hearing. ‘Theo’s sick. He just puked. Fuck I. What do I, what do I do?’
Getting up out of bed with speed he didn’t know he had, Buck walks over and kneels in front of the kid. Now being closer Buck can clearly see the telltale signs of sickness. With the light from the hallway reflecting from behind Theo, Buck can see his skin. His pale, slightly sweaty skin. His lips are red, quivering slightly as his eyes are also pooling with tears. He’s swaying too and the bags under his eye's signal exhaustion.
‘The poor kid. How had he missed it? He was fine yesterday, right?’
Wracking his brain Buck tried to remember if there was any indication, any sign that Theo hadn’t been feeling good last night. It had been a fun night, if not a little sad. Buck had decided to make the night a fun one, considering the fact that it was the last night he had with Theo until Monday. He had ordered pizza, which he had discovered was Theo’s favorite food. Cheese pizza for Theo and BBQ chicken ranch for himself. Then they had made cookies together or at least had attempted to. Buck had made another batch after Theo had accidentally knocked the whole cookie sheet of cookies onto the floor. Then, once the second batch of cookies were done, they watched a movie. Multiple movies actually. It had been a good night, Buck thought. Fun and warm, memorable.
He hadn’t realized anything was off with Theo, the child being his typical rambunctious self. Far too energetic and excited but Buck wouldn't have had it any other way. Now though that energy was gone, instead Theo was still. Quiet, sick. Reaching up, Buck felt Theo’s forehead, eyes widening upon feeling just how warm the toddler was. Forcing himself not to let out a string of curses, lest the boy in front of him tried to copy, Buck hugged him.
“You feel hot kid, you said your tummy hurt?” Buck felt Theo nod against his shoulder, sniffling but not answering. Picking the boy up gently Buck rubbed his back, pacing for a moment as he thought about what to do. Living room, he would get Theo situated while he figured this out.
Walking out of his room, he walked down the hallway, bumping the light switch with his shoulder. He could feel Theo start to shiver in his arms, shaking and whimpering quietly. Gently Buck sat Theo down, cooing as he laid the boy against the arm of the couch, grabbing the blanket that was folded over the back and laying it on top of the boy. Then he walked, more like jogging, to the kitchen - opening up a cabinet to find something that Theo could use, lest he vomited again.
Opening his bowl cabinet, he paused. He really didn’t want to use a bowl, the thought of having a designated puke bowl causing his own stomach to churn. But he had no other option, the bathroom was too far away for Theo to run to when needed and it was far too cramped to stay in there all day. Shaking his head, he reached to the back of the cabinet and pulled out an older plastic bowl. He couldn’t remember when he got this one, but it would work for now. Before exiting the kitchen, he also grabbed the thermometer from the medicine cabinet.
Theo was shivering harder now on the couch, tears slipping down his cheeks. His arms were wrapped around his stomach as he tossed and turned, no doubt in pain. Kneeling down, Buck set the bowl on the couch next to Theo.
“Hey Bud, can you sit still for me, I need to check your temp, ok?” He asked, reaching his hand out to brush the sweaty curls off of Theo’s face. The boy nodded, stilling for a moment as Buck brought the thermometer to his lips, placing it under his tongue. The next few minutes felt like they dragged on forever. Theo was still crying, and Buck couldn’t help but wince at the sight.
Finally, the thermometer rings out with a series of beeps. Pulling it out Buck looks at it, heart lurching to his throat.
101.6
“Fuck” he muttered under his breath. That was high, really high. Theo was whimpering a little more now, making grabby hands for the teddy bear that he had dropped onto the floor. Buck grabbed it, giving it to Theo as he brushed back his curls once more.
“You have a fever bud. I’m going to get you some medicine from the kitchen, I’ll be right back” He didn’t get a reply, just a brief locking of eyes with Theo - who’s eyes were hazy with heat.
Walking back towards the kitchen Buck tried to quell the anxiousness that was slowly beginning to build. Theo was sick. He had a fever, a high one. Running a hand through his own curls he tried to take a breath, trying to breathe past the guilt that gnawed at him. How had he not realized sooner? He must have been feeling sick last night, right? And earlier - just how long had Theo been feeling crummy before coming to him?
He rubbed both his hands down his face, ignoring the way his own eyes started to burn. He didn’t have time to analyze every moment from the last 24 hours. Theo needed him now. Turning Buck opened the medicine cabinet again, rummaging through the many bottles and other supplies for some children’s Tylenol or was its Advil? What did you give a kid anyways for a fever? He’s about to pull out his phone for a quick google search when he hears noises from the living room. He barely turns back before he sees Theo, hunched over and gagging.
He runs, sprinting into the living room and reaching - nearly slipping on the carpet as he grabs the bowl, thrusting it underneath Theo just in time to catch the first spews of vomit that leaves the boy's lips.
Reaching behind him, Buck rubbed Theo’s back - patting him softly as the boy continued to puke. Buck tried not to look but it didn’t take a genius to know that whatever remaining food that was in Theo’s system was forcefully ejected. Pizza, they had had pizza last night and now Buck didn’t think he could ever look at it the same again. Minutes pass as Theo continues to puke, it’s like a cycle, one moment he’s fine - leaning back from the bowl before sniffling or swallowing, both those actions causing the boy to throw up again. It’s painful to watch, to witness and all he wants to do is to take the pain away from hi- the kid and feel it himself. Instead he can only sit there, rubbing Theo’s back and whispering sweet nothings into the quiet morning.
“It’s ok, it’s ok I got you Bud, just let it out.”
Finally the wave passed and Theo sat shivering over the bowl, breathing heavy. Keeping the bowl in place, Buck turned to the left and grabbed the box of Kleenex that he kept on the side table. Grabbing a few tissues, he gently wiped Theo’s face, tossing the dirty tissues into the bowl. Then grabbing another tissue he wiped under Theo’s noise before prompting him to blow. Once the boy was all clean, Buck moved the bowl - setting it down on the coffee table behind him momentarily.
“You ok Theo?” he questioned, but Theo shook his head.
“My tummy hurts”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry - I think you might have a stomach bug. Why don’t you just sit here for a bit, I’ll turn something on the tv and see if I have anything that can make your tummy better ok? How does that sound?”
Theo nodded his head, leaning against the arm of the couch as he took deep breaths. Buck recognized the sight, the heavy breathing a sign to lessen the nausea. Taking his own deep breath, Buck walks back to the kitchen - the sounds of Paw Patrol filling the otherwise quiet home. He’s standing at the sink, washing his hands when he looks up out the window. It’s no longer pitch black, instead the array of colors from the rising sun cover the blue sky. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, not even waiting to dry his hands, he looks at the time. 6:30 - he has to be at the station in a half hour.
“Fuck, fuck no, I, fuck” His fingers fumble on the screen, still dripping wet from not drying them. He needed to stay, Theo was sick but. He had already used up all his leave, plus some extra PTO he had on hand. He couldn’t use anymore, plus there wasn’t enough time to call in someone to cover his shift.
‘Who do I? Maddie, I should call Maddie - she’ll know what to do. She was supposed to watch Theo today anyway, but Theo’s sick. I don’t want to expose Jee and Nash to whatever he has. No, I have to cancel but Carla’s out of town for the week and everyone else is working and. Fuck what do I? I should’ve realized last night so I could’ve called in today. I’m so stupid I.”
He slams his hands on the counter, having turned to the island in his spiral. He was stuck. He couldn’t stay home but Theo needed him, but he also couldn’t ask anyone else to watch Theo because he was sick. Of course he could still call Maddie, he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. She would say yes in a heartbeat but he couldn’t do that to her - to Jee Yun or little Nash. Three kids? One of which was a 2 year old plus a sick 4 year old? No, that was too much for him to ask. He could figure something else out, he had too. He could ask Hen? Wait no, she was on call today too - Karen maybe? No, Theo barely knew the other women and if Buck remembered correctly, Mara had a field trip today.
He wants to bang his head against the wall. How, why, why now? Why on his first shift back to work in weeks. He should stay home, he knows that and he’s sure that Chimney would understand, granted they would be understaffed - no he couldn’t do that. He had already taken off more time than usual and even though this could count as a family emergency, he, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“Does that make me a bad caregiver? I need to go into work - the team needs me but Theo. He needs me.”
And yet, Buck needs to go in today. He needs the outlet that is the station. The familiarity and clarity that comes with each call, the rush and focus that comes with each solution - each save or tactical decision. He needs it. But he also needs Theo. It’s an unfamiliar thought, one that hits him with more punch than anything else. Sometime in the last three weeks, no, in the last three months since he met the boy he’s realized it. He needs Theo - the spunky little toddler with an eye for adventure and even less thought about danger. He needs Theo, just like how he needs Chris or Maddie or, Eddie.
With that the contact is pulled up on his screen before he could even blink. Eddie, his best friend, also a single dad. He would know what to do. The call goes through for two rings before the gruff Texas drawl of his half-asleep best friend echoes through the speaker.
“Buck what are you” He starts but Bucks already talking, mind and mouth going at 100 words a minute.
“It's Theo, he’s sick. I think he has the stomach bug but he’s already thrown up two times and he has a fever of 101.6 degrees. I don’t have any more personal time left and Maddie was supposed to watch him, but I don’t want to expose Jee-Yun or Nash to whatever this is but I have no one to watch Theo, and I don’t even have any children's Tylenol to lower his fever and his bed is a mess and I. I’m failing at this Eddie” He stops, choking out a laugh that's more of a sob than anything.
“Hey, hey Buck, listen it’s not your fault. These kinds of things just happen ya know? They just spring on you out of the blue but” Bucks already interrupting again, he feels like he’s on something. The thrum of anxiousness, guilt and fear melding together into energy that pulses through him like electricity.
“But I should’ve realized last night, or known. I didn’t, I didn’t even hear him get out of bed and I didn’t know that he was feeling sick otherwise I would’ve called in today and” This time he gets interrupted, words cutting off as Eddie's voice replaces them.
“Buck, Buck it’s ok - well it’s not ok that Theo’s sick but it’s ok that you didn’t notice. It’s normal, these kinds of bugs just come without a warning no matter how vigilant you try to be. Trust me, not even the act of god could prevent a toddler from getting the flu. Look, I have the next three days off, remember? How bout I come watch him for the weekend.”
“No, no Eddie you don’t, I’m not asking you, you don’t have to do that. I know you were going to spend this weekend with Chris; I can’t take you away from that. I’ll figure something out, it's fine.” He’s pacing his kitchen again - hoping that Eddie drops this. He doesn’t want to take Eddie away from his plans, he, Buck can figure something out. Maybe he’ll just accept three days without pay. Sure that’ll be a hit to his finances, but he could manage. He’ll just pick up some more shifts another time.
“Buck, it’s fine. I think Chris was already planning on spending the weekend with Denny anyways - I heard them planning something last night, something about building a robot? Anyways, the point is that I’m free and you need someone to watch Theo. It’s not a bother. I’ll be over there at 7 ok? Get yourself ready for work and I’ll manage the rest.”
“Eddie you don’t have to” but he’s cut off again. “I know Buck, but I want to. You’ve been there for me for Chris more times than I count, let me be here for you. I’ll see you in a half an hour.”
With that Eddie hangs up, and Buck looks at his phone for a moment processing. Eddie, Eddie was coming here. To watch Theo. For Buck. He feels something in his chest warm at the thought. At the gesture and resounding immediateness of Eddie’s words. The clock read 6:35 now, barely enough time for him to shower and pack - shower would have to wait till he got to the station. Chimney wouldn’t mind, at least he hoped not.
Buck walked back to the living room, standing beside the couch to look down at Theo who remained utterly transfixed by the cartoon ahead of him. He was quiet, just laying down and watching without any of his usual commentary or theatrics. Despite the part of his brain which enjoyed the quiet, the rest of him was shook by how wrong it was. Theo wasn’t a quiet kid, that wasn’t who he was. Which Buck lov- liked about him. He was loud and energetic and just a kid, one who enjoyed life and made it known when he did. Seeing him this, this lethargic, pulled at something. Something tender, and fierce.
Ignoring the mental countdown ticking in his head, Buck kneeled back down next to the couch, tapping on Theo’s shoulder to get his attention. The boy looked up at him through half lidded eyelashes, exhaustion heavy on his features. Though from the way his arms still wrapped around his stomach, it seemed that the nausea was still there.
“Hey kid, so I know you don’t feel good and I’m so sorry that you don’t but, I have to go to work today bud. I really don’t want to but Eddie is going to come and take care of you for me this weekend ok? Is that ok with you?”
“Ed, Eddie’s coming” He asked, voice kind of thick with mucus and tiredness.
“Ya kid, Eddie’s coming over for the weekend while I go to work ok? But I’ll still be here when you need me, you can facetime me or call me whenever. You can ask Eddie to set that up for you ok?”
“I, I don’t want you to leave” was the next whisper that reached his ears and it took all of Bucks willpower not to say fuck it and just not go in. But he couldn’t. He had a job to do - even if it meant leaving behind another job.
“Gosh, how do Karen or Hen, or hell even Eddie do this? How does anyone do this? I can’t do this - he needs me, Fuck LA, Theo needs me.”
“I know buddy, I don’t want to leave either but I have work, remember? I got to go save people” Theo looks at him, eyes the smallest bit wider though not by much. Nor are they filled with as much excitement, wonder and awe as they usually did when Buck talks about his job. His heart pangs at that, at the lack of reaction from the toddler that he usually gets. Whatever bug he had was affecting him a lot more than Buck realized.
“Save people, like spiderman?” Theo furrows his brows a bit, staring at Buck.
“Ya kid” he chuckles a little bit “just like spiderman.”
Theo nods again, or it looks like he does from his position of laying on the couch.
“I wike Spiderman. He’s cool, did ya, did ya know that he has thingies” Theo starts, waving one of his arms while trying to force his fingers into the hero’s iconic pose. Scrunching his nose, he gets his fingers into something similar to the gesture.
“I like Spidey too, and here, like this” Buck smiles at him, grabbing Theo’s hand and moving his fingers until he gets the pose right.
“Wow, it’s just like Spidey’s” Theo exclaims with joy, looking down at his hand and waving it around - as if he was shooting out his own webs. Buck just watches, smiling at the noises of web slingers launching and the soft giggles that escape the kids mouth.
Eventually Theo gets distracted again, eyes growing heavier. He settles back against the couch, no longer having the energy for playing. Grabbing his phone, which was in his pocket, Buck looks at the time.
‘Crap, it’s already 6:45 - I’m going to be late. Fuck Chimney’s going to kill me’
Making one last sweep of the room, double checking Theo in the process, Buck frantically gathers his things. Clothes get thrown into his backpack - what he grabs, he doesn’t know, just anything in his reach that smells remotely clean will do. In the bathroom he grabs his toothbrush, his deodorant and his razor, almost nicking his hand in the process. He’s back in his room again, searching for his computer charger, when he hears the doorbell ring. Turning, he means to walk out of his room back to the living room when his foot catches on the corner of his bed, sending him sprawling to the floor in a pained thud. Cursing, he lays there for a second before groaning to his feet. By the time he makes it back to the living room, Eddie had let himself inside, kneeling by Theo to say hi. The image stops Buck momentarily - the domesticity and relief that floods through him halting his spiraling brain for the blissful moment.
Eddie looks up at him, bringing Buck back into reality. He cocks an eyebrow, a knowing smirk flitted on his lips and Buck hopes his face isn’t bright red.
“I uh, figured you were busy packing so I let myself in if that was ok” Eddie asks, standing up from the floor. Buck nods, wincing as his head hurts for a second.
“Ya, ya that’s fine sorry I couldn’t get the door, I was just - I was just packing and, you’re fine. It’s all good Eds” Eddie smiles and Buck lets out a puff of air.
“Figured it would be as much, seeing as you were quite busy getting your face acquainted with the floor” He answered, smirking as Buck groaned, rolling his eyes in mock irritation.
“Ya ya, laugh it up, I tripped ok.”
“I heard it when I walked in, it was pretty funny but you’re ok? It sounded like a nasty fall.” Eddie answers, walking towards Buck, eyes flitting over him as he checks for injuries. Buck shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest, letting out a huff of air.
“Nothing but my bruised pride.” Eddie laughs at that, throwing his head back. “Hate to break it to you Buck, but your pride was ruined a long time ago.”
Buck can’t help but smile, the laughter, he needed it. His nerves felt shot, and the anxious energy in him was dying - a bit. Somehow Eddie, well he made everything ok. He always had, Buck didn’t know why. Couldn’t explain how the other man made his heart simultaneously speed up and quiet. Didn’t know how the urge to run, cause a spectacle and how the voices in his head that would constantly sneer “you’re worthless, useless” would always disappear when he was in the other man's presence. Buck catches Eddie staring at him then, not realizing that he had gone quiet in his thoughts.
“Sorry, sorry I was just, just thinking. Oh, um right you need to know things uh.” Buck pauses, looking around the room on where to get started first. His eyes landed on Theo again, who was currently staring at the tv, watching something about some heroic dogs saving some chickens from a tree? He pays it no mind, instead looking at Theo for any changes in health since the last time he checked - which if his mental clock was right, was about 10 mins ago.
“Ok so like I said he has a fever of 101.6, haven’t had the chance to get any fluids in him seeing as he’s been pretty consistently about throwing up.” Eddie nods along, eyes never leaving his.
“He’s thrown up about 2 times in the last, I’m not sure, hour maybe? At least once since I’ve been up but I don’t know about earlier.”
“Ok and” Eddie starts but Buck’s still talking, turning towards the kitchen like a man on a mission, which he is. He’s standing in front of his kitchen cabinet now, the medicine one still opened from earlier. Grabbing a box or two he searches - rummaging around for something.
“He’s going to need something like anti nausea or flu medicine before we try any food - both of which I don’t have. I think I have ibuprofen but not the kids version, maybe children’s Tylenol would be better.” Buck moves over to the pantry, opening up the doors to see what’s inside.
“I can place a delivery order when I get to work but. Oh and I’ll order some food for him too - cheerios would be good on an empty stomach right? Or should I get saltine crackers, he might not like saltines though. Maybe oyster crackers? Those are like goldfish, just not cheesy I guess. He’ll probably want goldfish but that’s only going to upset his stomach more.”
Now he’s moving to the fridge, mind making a mental checklist of what he needs to get. Eddie tries to speak again, or Buck thinks he does but he can’t hear him. Opening the fridge door, Buck looks at the measly contents inside, suppressing the urge to somehow discover time travel and strangle past Buck.
“Oh and he’s going to need apple juice, gosh I hope they have the ones he likes - he likes the one specifically out of those character bottle things. He’ll throw the biggest tantrum if it’s out of the jug. Uh, I think I still have some dino nuggets and fries for when he’s feeling better but I’ll probably order some more - he eats a ton of those. I really need to go shopping.”
Turning from the fridge door, Buck rips off a sticky note from the pack on the fridge, instantly jotting down a few items on the list. Cheerios, Dino Nuggets, Apple juice, Tylenol, Dish detergent. He doesn’t realize he’s muttering all this aloud until a hand comes to rest on his, stopping him from writing. He looks up, shocked for a moment by how close Eddie was. Ridiculously closed - so close that if Buck wanted to (which he did), he could count how many freckles were on Eddie’s nose.
“Buck, take a breath, just breathe” Eddie orders, voice soft and Buck let out the breath he was holding - the pounding of his head lessening.
“I’m, I’m sorry Eds I’m just worried about Theo I mean - how do I take care of a sick kid?” He lowers his head, laying it on his arms, letting out a shaky exhale.
“You don’t” Buck looks up, staring at Eddie with cocked brows. What?
“Eddie, what do you?”
“What I mean Buck is that I’ll take care of him - you just go do your shift. I got this, you don’t need to worry.”
Buck lets out a humorless laugh, how can he not worry? Ever since he took Theo in, he’s been nothing but a ball of worry. Of course, he doesn’t try to but more times than not he goes to bed questioning every move he makes. Was he too strict when telling Theo not to color on the walls? Was he strict enough when he tried to make Theo eat his veggies? Was he mean when he didn’t want to play wrestling any more that morning because his old leg injury was flaring up?
“That's easier said than done Eddie.” Eddie sighs, crinkling his eyes softly at Buck.
“I know, trust me I know.” He rubs his neck, leaning back up and letting go of Buck’s hand. He tries not to show his disappointment at the loss of the touch. He stops his fingers from twitching, itching to reach out again and grab Eddie’s hand.
“But, unlike me when I had a toddler on my hands - you have a support system, Buck, you have me. I can handle a sick kid for the weekend.”
“Are you sure, I mean I can probably still call out. I mean, Chimney might have my head if I did but.”
“But you’re not.” Eddie interrupts him again, this time mid-sentence. His posture, everything about him screamed at Buck to try to argue - though, Buck wasn’t good at listening. He knew of course that he would lose this argument, especially when Eddie was already here - showing up to his house at 7 in the morning, bag in hand with the stubbornness of a fucking horse that didn’t want to be led to water. Good thing that Buck was equally as stubborn, if more so.
“But Eds I, I can’t ask you to do this I mean. This was supposed to be your weekend off. What about Chris?”
“What about him?” Buck pauses, blinking at his best friend for a moment.
“I thought you guys were going to spend the weekend together?”
“I already talked to him and yes that was the plan, but plans change Buck. Besides, like I said over the phone - I think Chris already had plans.”
Buck scoffs surprised.
“Already?” He shakes his head. Chris was barely even 15 and apparently the teenage habit of making plans and leaving your parents high and dry had finally sunk in.
“Ya, he and Denny have plans about building a robot? I’m not sure, all I know is that I let the two of them watch Big Hero six one time and now they have it in their heads that they can build magnetic nano tech robots that can be controlled with your mind.” Eddie shakes his head, but Buck just laughs.
“I mean, Big Hero six is a classic.”
“A classic nightmare you mean” Eddie mutters, rolling his eyes. “If I come home this weekend to a bunch of nanoscopic mini robots or better yet a robot medic, it’s your fault.”
“Eh, I doubt that they're going to try and build their own Baymax, I mean they already have you don’t they?” He teases back, chuckling at his friends' unamused glare that he sends his way.
Eddie sighs, turning and walking over to Bucks cabinet with a familiar ease. Grabbing a cup he turns to Bucks fridge, grabbing the pura filter and filling the cup before downing it in a few gulps then setting the glass in the sink.
“Laugh it up Buckley” he mutters though from the small grin that breaks free, Buck knows he’s only joking.
“I mean it though Eds, I mean with how smart those two are I wouldn’t be surprised if come Monday they have a fully functioning robot on their hands.”
Eddie groans, rubbing his forehead.
“That’s what I’m afraid of, those two are too smart for their own good.”
He turns to Buck again, who had previously walked around to the other side of the island to give Eddie access to the fridge. He stares at Buck for a moment before his eyes look behind, staring at the numbers on the stove. Buck turns around, also seeing the numbers or he should say the time.
“Shit, I’m going to be late.”
His phone is already opened to his messages when Eddie grabs the phone right out of his hands, stunning him momentarily.
“I already texted Chimney on my way over - I figured you would be a few minutes behind, so he’s already logged it in.”
Buck blinks at him, quiet. He, God this man.
“You didn’t have to do that Eds, I would’ve”
“I know, but I did.”
They look at each other, not speaking for what feels like forever. Then, unfortunately, Buck tears his eyes away, wincing as if in pain from the broken contact.
“Thank you. I better get going but I’ll text you and I’ll have my phone on all the time so if you need anything I”
Eddie makes a shooing motion with his hand, sliding Bucks phone across the counter with his other.
“I got this Buck, and I’ll keep you updated now go otherwise Chim’s really going to have your ass, mine too if you're late.”
Buck turns, pausing before he turns back, stalking to the other side of the counter when he pulls Eddie into a fierce hug, tucking his head in the crook of the other man's neck. He relishes in it, the way Eddie’s arms wrap around him, the smell of his detergent and the warmth that just radiates off him. The comfort and sense of rightness that comes whenever they embrace.
“Thank you Eddie, I, thank you” He whispers into his skin, quiet in volume but oh so loud in emotion.
“Your welcome Buck” Eddie murmurs back, patting his back before pulling away, leaving one hand lingering on Buck’s shoulder. Buck smiles at him before finally turning away, grabbing his bag that he had set in the hallway earlier. Quickly he walks over to the couch where Theo was, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his head. The boy murmured something, half asleep.
“I have to go now bud, but Eddie’s here to take care of you, ok? I’ll facetime you later tonight but if you need anything just tell Eddie and he’ll tell me.”
Theo nods, humming in agreement or maybe just in toddler speak for exhaustion. Buck backs away, sending one last look at Theo, then at Eddie before grabbing his keys and walking out the door.