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It's really Toga's fault.
Her wanting to celebrate Christmas wasn't really a surprise to anyone who knows her, because it really shouldn't be.
In Japan, Christmas is like another Valentine's day, where it's full of couples in love celebrating with each other, going into the new year.
It's also a time of family, one of which she no longer has, biologically speaking. Now with her new family, she wants to celebrate with them and show them how much she loves them!
And being the baby of the group, the others tend to indulge her when they can, letting her have a childhood as much as they can manage in their line of life.
So when she asked to decorate the bar, they let her.
When she asked to make chocolate chip cookies, Kurogiri made them right along with her.
When she asked to do a secret Santa exchange, they indulged her.
.....And that's where it went all wrong.
Because see, you got Dabi as the one you're to give a gift to.
You think anyone else might've been easier to find a gift for.
Shigaraki would've been easier. Just throw a new video game or game merch at him, and he'll be happy.
But Dabi? What the fuck does that man even like other than arson and revenge?!
You thought to maybe get him some new piercings or something but that just seems so....bland.
And it could work, could be enough for him, but it wouldn't be enough for him to you.
Not after nursing a festering crush on him for almost as long as you've known him.
So after agonizing for days over what to get him, with time ticking down, you resorted to asking the others for ideas.
What made you think asking criminals, murderers and psychopaths, would be a good idea, you don't know, but you did.
And maybe there's something to be said about you that you actually listened to their advice.
"Chocolates and confess!" Toga had said. You swear her pupils turned into hearts at the thought of love, and frankly, you were scared.
"A new fashion sense may do." Compress said, doing tricks with a deck of cards. You still don't know if he was joking.
"A gift with meaning, maybe something you have in common." Twice said earnestly, before immediately ruining it. "You, wrapped in nothing but ribbons. He'd love that!" And, well, you don't feel like simultaneously embarrassing yourself and getting burnt to a crisp so.....
"I can show you where I got my Stain merch!" Spinner said with stars in his eyes. The poor guy looked so dejected when you declined, but again, you like not being crispy.
"Some manners perhaps?" Polishing a glass, Kurogiri said it so seriously, you had to laugh. Again, you don't even know if he was joking.
"Just get him some more jewelry, hon. You can't go wrong there, right?" Of course Magne was the most sensible but it just wasn't enough! You may not want to outwardly confess your feelings but you still want to show it in some way; show him that you care.
And as a last resort, you turned to Shigaraki.
"Tch, I don't know, Endeavor's head on a pike? He's always complaining about him." Shigaraki said, eyes trained on his switch, barely paying you any mind. And yet, it was the most profound thing to you in your dumb, love sick mind.
Because of course that's what you should get him! His revenge on a silver platter! You won't take his revenge from him, stealing his kill and the satisfaction of it, but you can do something.
Now, a sane person would step back and think to themselves, hey. This is the Number Two Hero in the country. Mayhaps have a solid, sensible plan.
But alas, that was not you, for you are in love with a less than sane person, which absolutely made you at least half insane by osmosis.
So with a bright, chirped, "Thanks Shiggs!", you went on your way.
Shigaraki did not acknowledge this, nor did he process a word of this interaction.
*****
Mind set, you find your way to Endeavor's house. You would think that being such a huge public figure, he'd live in a secure, gated community at least. But no, he just lives in a giant house in a normal neighborhood, albeit on the wealthy side of the spectrum.
The traditional style of it is beautiful, if a bit gaudy, but you figure it comes with being Number Two.
At midnight, you sneak in. It's honestly pathetic how easy it is, with no alarms or anything going off.
Light on your feet, you make your way through the house. It takes a while, but you eventually find his bedroom.
The man, of course, sleeps like the psychopath he is.
Flat on his back, hands clasped over his stomach, without a blanket, feet hanging over the edge of the bed by his ankles.
He snores like a congested bear, so whatever sounds you might've made are drowned out.
The black tendrils of your quirk whip out, simultaneously snagging his wrists, arms, torso and legs, as a thick cord of it wraps tightly around his throat, holding him in place as he momentarily struggles, while you inject him with tranquilizer, only releasing him when he falls back unconscious.
You hum in satisfaction at your handiwork, before realizing you need a way to transport and store him.
A quick text to Kurogiri has you in one of the League's spare warehouses, making use of one of the empty shipping crates lying around as it's the only thing on hand that's big enough to fit him into.
Using your quirk, you lift him into it, not caring enough to be gentle, instead just kind of....tossing him in.
Closing the lid, you leave him overnight, knowing he'll stay unconscious, though still breathing thanks to the holes in the box.
The next day, you come back with supplies.
Earphones in, you listen to the news on Endeavor's disappearance, and the fact that there are no leads, satisfied as you get to work.
After trying to make him look somewhat presentable, sticking a shiny, blue bow to his forehead with gorilla glue, because his sweat kept making it peel off, you wrap and decorate the crate, trying to make it as pretty as you can given the circumstances, and you smile satisfied with your gift. He's pumped full of tranquilizer and quirk suppressants, wrapped up nice and tidy, so all that's left is to present him.
You hope Dabi likes his gift.
*****
Christmas day is soon upon you, and everyone is ready with their presents.
Tomura gets some prequirk game from Spinner and he lights up brighter than the Christmas lights Toga put up.
Compress gets a pair of pretty, gold cufflinks from Shigaraki.
Twice gets a book that he's been gushing about for weeks from Kurogiri.
Toga gets a case with vials of blood, within a bat themed purse from Magne.
Kurogiri gets a new wine set from Compress.
Magne gets a dress from Twice, handmade and pretty.
Spinner gets some Stain merch from Dabi, which...fitting but why the fuck do they know where to get them??
You get a pretty knife with intricate carvings on the handle from Toga.
The last one to receive their gift is Dabi, and you're nervous. You ask Kurogiri to transport you all to the warehouse, explaining that it can't fit in the bar and it might not be safe anyway, and all of them follow curiously, not knowing what to expect.
*****
Dabi looks at the giant, wrapped box with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.
It's big. Bigger than what should make sense for a Christmas gift. It's wrapped meticulously in shiny, blue and black iridescent wrapping paper, topped with a giant, pearly white bow, and it sticks out like a sore thumb, looking out of place among the bland brown of the surrounding crates and grey, concrete walls and floors.
He feels an ominous presence from it, and is sorely tempted to just light it ablaze.
Glancing at your nervous yet excited smile, he decides against it....for now.
You gesture towards it, with a shaky, "Merry Christmas Dabi." He hums, walking cautiously towards it. He considers burning off the paper, but decides to keep to the tradition of tearing it apart like a child on, well, Christmas, to reveal the shipping crate.
He glances at you one last time, then opens the crate, before promptly bluescreening.
Because inside the crate is the last thing he expects.
Within it, Endeavor lays slumped, tied up, with a blue ribbon stuck to his forehead, drooling onto his chest.
The warehouse is completely silent, everyone in disbelief at what they're seeing.
You play with your fingers, twiddling your thumbs. "Do you like it?", you ask, all hopeful and sweet, like you didn't just gift someone a grown ass man in a box.
In the silence, your voice echoes, and it seems to be what they needed, because everyone snaps back into their bodies, realizing that oh. This is real.
"What the fuck..." is Dabi's first response, his voice shaky with bewilderment.
"Um...I also have Chocolates?" You laugh nervously. Maybe he doesn't like it.....
Suddenly, Dabi grabs your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours in a firm kiss, then pulling back to stare into your eyes. "You're mine now."
And you smile, dopey and bright. "Uh huh."
The moment is interrupted when Shigaraki finally reboots. "WHAT THE FUCK, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU—" He begins to rant, but you cut him off, confused.
"Shiggs, you were the one that gave me the idea...." you say, brows furrowed.
Shigaraki looks positively baffled at the foreign truth you speak, a vein bulging at his temple.
"WHEN THE FUCK—" He starts again.
"WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING ON THE SWITCH?!?! TWO DAYS AGO!?! PAY ATTENTION WHEN PEOPLE ARE SPEAKING TO YOU DAMMIT!!"
In the background, eyes bright, Dabi kicks the crate, jolting the unconscious trash, and grins.