lollaby



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    “I’m trying to figure out,” Rose wonders aloud. “Are you always a complete prick? Just with women? Or just when you lose a game?”

    Ilya barks a laugh, shocked and almost delighted, and his smile spreads wide enough that Rose can see all those pearly whites of his that are so much nicer than she expected any hockey player’s to be. “All the time,” he grins, “all the time. However much of an asshole Hollander has told you I am, double it.”

    She answers truthfully, shrugs her shoulders in her tiny silver dress. “He hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

    After a shitshow of an evening in a Montreal nightclub, Ilya wakes up the next morning in Shane’s bed. Only, he’s not in Shane’s bed — Rose Landry is, and he’s in Rose Landry’s body, and she’s in his. Well, what the fuck are they supposed to do with that?

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    07 Jul 2026

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    “You could date me,” Rozanov says nonchalantly.

    Wait. What?

    Shane is sure he must’ve misheard. He stares at the other boy in disbelief, his mouth hanging slightly open.

    “What?” he asks aloud, because surely Rozanov must’ve hit his head or something.

    But the blond man just shrugs casually. “You need hot fake boyfriend. I am available.”

    or, the fake dating hollanov fic, in which Shane desperately wants his ex to think that he's no longer hung up on him and his rival Ilya Rozanov is more than happy to help.

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    28 Jun 2026

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    ”Just a few months,” he heard himself say, haltingly.

    Ilya’s eyes sparkled. ”Yes.”

    ”And you will behave, Rozanov.”

    ”I always behave, Hollander.” He shoved at Ilya’s shoulder at this. Ilya caught his wrist and held on. He was grinning. ”It’s going to be fine. No big deal, yes?”

    No big deal. Right. ”Just to get Hayden to leave me alone,” Shane muttered. Ilya nodded but didn’t make a comment about Hayden this time, which Shane appreciated, actually. And then he said, ”Fine, you’ll win your stupid bet,” and twisted his wrist out of Ilya’s grip. ”Let’s try.”

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    28 Jun 2026

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    ...oh,” his mom says. “Oh, honey, you were seeing someone? You never said anything.”

    “It’s-it’s complicated.” He catches the present tense too fucking late to do anything about it, and he barely resists the urge to either groan or slip forward to start beating his head against the coffee table.

    Fuck his fucking life.

    “You’re still…seeing this person?” His mom asks, and the amount of control he can hear her exerting is almost painful. “Who is-”

    “Yuna,” his dad cuts in, voice quiet, “maybe give him a second, yeah?”

    Yeah, Shane agrees in his head. Give him a second.

    Maybe give him a decade while they’re at it.

    (when shane's old fake id falls out of his wallet around his parents, he has to explain that it was to book hotel rooms before he was 21)

    (...and then he has to explain why he needed to book those hotel rooms in the first place)

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    27 Jun 2026

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    After making up a fake boyfriend so his teammates would stop setting him up on dates, Shane is suddenly faced with the task of finding a real one on short notice in order to avoid humiliation.

    Shockingly, his old rival, Ilya Rozanov, is willing to do what it takes to help him. Even if that means pretending to be in love with Shane for a full weekend.

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    26 Jun 2026