hamburglar
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Another Lonely Night Another Lonely Night by herecomesaspecialboy (hamburglar)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
23 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
The strangest combination of feelings, Gale had studied the in-depth telemetry for hours, tracking the curves and spikes of Fangs' orgasm. He'd even checked them against Fangs' intake data, the weeklong tests to match brain activity to emotional state. Why did Fangs' affection and irritation correspond so highly? Neurotech had a long way to go towards understanding the intricacies of the human mind.
Astarion-- codename 'Fangs'-- seduces, manipulates, and robs the most powerful people in Baldur's Gate with the help of 'Wizard'-- the extremely flirtatious voice that talks to him through the implant in the back of his head.
Gale-- codename 'Wizard'-- has a lot of great ideas for how to best support his field asset, 'Fangs', and he has the data to prove it.
-
Tags
Summary
Ten years after the Netherbrain, Astarion has cobbled together a perfectly stable life in the Underdark. Gale, in the throes of a mid-life crisis, comes to him with a ludicrous scheme to rob a Drow noble by infiltrating a weekend of debauchery at her manor.
It's a Bloodweave Heist Fic
(The tags might make this seem dark but it's absolutely a sex farce romantic comedy)
-
EXCLUSIVE: A Day With Tadpole, The Band Who Saved Baldur's Gate by herecomesaspecialboy (hamburglar)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
13 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
By now, you've surely read that the two songwriter-guitarists were unable to maintain the act. You've watched and read the snippy interview segments, seen the video of the fight that broke out, and heard the rest of Tadpole (lead singer Wyll Ravengard, drummer Karlach Cliffgate, bassist Shadowheart, and multiinstrumentalist Lae'zel K'liir) apologize for the duo's inappropriate conduct ahead of their sold out reunion concert at Grand Hall this weekend.
Sitting at my booth, I saw the whole thing unfold, including intimate details that none of the other reporters witnessed.
A late and too long entry into Bloodweave Week Day 6: Aging and Devotion.
-
I Know I'm Reeling in to the End by herecomesaspecialboy (hamburglar)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
He considers the half home around him, the jack and jill sink with one toothbrush, the bare nightstand to the left of the bed, the ghost of perfume in the air, the mail on the dining table addressed to Mr and Mrs Dekarios.
Wherever Mrs Dekarios has gone, there seems to now be space in Mr Dekarios' life for a parasite to curl up and get warm. Astarion does his best impression of a person, of a beautiful, irresistible boy, the kind Mr Dekarios may have quietly pursued as a winsome university student when potential Mrs Dekarioses weren't looking.
-
We Are Simply Two Men Engaging In Friendship by herecomesaspecialboy (hamburglar)
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
11 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
Finally, something interesting was happening. After quick deliberation, Astarion determined that the most embarrassing thing for Gale would be the direct approach, so he sat on his own bed and smiled at his neighbor's fake-sleeping form.
"Good evening Gale, how's the wank going?"For Bloodweave Week 2025, Day 5: Getting Caught
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Astarion's a slightly nomadic ethics professor taking up his new post at the storied Blackstaff Academy in Waterdeep. While exploring everything the city has to offer, he tests out a much-lauded dive bar glory hole and has the time of his life. It's impossible to get that sweet, soft voice and that skilled tongue out of his head, but the anonymous person on the other side wishes to remain unknown.
Oh well.
Maybe Astarion's burgeoning crush on his distinguished, older colleague, Professor Dekarios, will keep his mind from wandering towards the unattainable.
Bookmarked by hamburglar
07 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Is he what? Come on, Harry, you know this. He's polishing the family jewels.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Tooting his own horn.
INTERFACING - Servicing his engine! Applying the handbrake.
INLAND EMPIRE - Charming the snake. Teasing the weasel. Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior.
YOU - What???
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - These are all synonyms for masturbation.----
This was supposed to be a quick pwp fic, but it got out of hand. It's split into two chapters - smut only happens in the second one. If you want to avoid descriptions of dead bodies or food, skip ahead.
Bookmarked by hamburglar
04 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
The door cracks open slightly and he sees Gale in a fluffy dressing gown, his hair a little wet and cheeks flushed like he’s just showered. There are droplets of water on his rimless glasses.
He smiles widely and pushes the door open, “You’re here!” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “Come in, come in, please.”
For Bloodweave Week day 1: Firsts
Series
- Part 2 of Holding the Key to His Cage
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,649
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 190
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 1,941
Bookmarked by hamburglar
30 Sep 2025
-
Tags
Summary
After the nautiloid crash Astarion is on the hunt for protection, and has his sights set on the handsome, heavyset wizard.
An angsty, tender fic in which Gale happens to have gained a little weight along the way, and Astarion falls in love with every last inch of him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,392
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 253
- Kudos:
- 1,652
- Bookmarks:
- 261
- Hits:
- 22,420
Bookmarked by hamburglar
27 Sep 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Gale insists on observing the minotaurs during their breeding season. It goes as well as you expect.
An 8-page comic!
Bookmarked by hamburglar
24 Sep 2025