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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is a straight man. So what if he can't get hard every time he tries to have sex with a woman? So what if he drinks himself silly just so he has an excuse to sneak into his captains bedroom?

    He was straight.

    Right?

    Or

    Shane Hollander is convinced he's straight, Ilya Rozanov convinces him otherwise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,583
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    1,586
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    16 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The problem was, Ilya couldn’t quite explain it himself. After a few minutes of ruminating, he finally settles on:

    Why do I want to eat my husband?

    Top result: Wife found guilty of cannibalising her husband, remains found in basement

    Ilya frowns down at his screen. Well that wasn’t it. He huffs quietly in frustration, before backspacing and trying again.

    Wanting to squish and bite my husband

    The search lags, and Ilya taps the tips of his thumbs impatiently against the screen, chewing on his bottom lip. Finally the page refreshes.

    Top result: Why boundaries in relationships are important

    Ilya rolls his eyes, on the verge of giving up.

    or

    Ilya has a severe case of cuteness aggression when it comes to his heavily pregnant husband, and he doesn’t quite know what to do about it.

    (+ now with bonus scenes of Shane and Ilya being dads!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,164
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    274
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    7,795
    Bookmarks:
    2,041
    Hits:
    139,810

    16 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    ---
    SHANE
    ➥ We can resign the paperwork in your name.
    ➥ I mean, you could pick a new car, but there's hardly any place for another one, unless you get rid of yours. I have some contacts with car dealers in the area. I doubt it you want a Jeep, though?

    ILYA
    ➥ hmmmmm
    ➥ if i say i want a porsche will you buy me porsche

    SHANE
    ➥ A sports one? No. They drive too fast.
    ➥ But a regular one, sure. What colour?

    ILYA
    ➥ well my main concern was that they cost as much as a fucking house baby, but
    ➥ orange?

    SHANE
    ➥ I can look around.

    ILYA
    ➥ wait no
    ➥ no
    ➥ shane
    ➥ dont
    ---
    or: a year into dating, ilya and his daughter move in with shane, and a long week of fuck-ups and bad luck follows.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,263
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    1,034
    Kudos:
    3,716
    Bookmarks:
    629
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    67,883

    15 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

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    Summary

    “H’rder,” Shane whines into his mouth, not even trying to interrupt the kiss but speaking pathetically muffled and slurred around Ilya’s tongue.

    Ilya knocks their foreheads together, smiles.

    Nooooo Ilya, not before the game, Ilya,” he whines, a sweetly mocking imitation of Shane, “and now look at you, mhm? Why should I ever listen to your complaining, baby, when you’re gonna be such an easy, perfect slut for it anyways?”

    Or: Shane plays four-dimensional chess to get Ilya to fuck him even when he tells him no, for Shane-typical control freak reasons, in Shane-typical convoluted ways, with Shane-typical unawareness of this being a sex freak thing. Ilya provides, of course.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    524
    Kudos:
    10,611
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    2,644
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    123,078

    15 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    "As long as you want. It's your birthday after all."

    "And what if you're, like, doing something?"

    "Well, lyubov, I don't really have plans of doing anything except making it the best day ever," Ilya laughed. "But if I am busy... it doesn't matter. It's your gift – you get to decide when to use it."

    "Oh," is all Shane said again.

    Ilya's gift to Shane this year is himself. He really shouldn't have been so surprised that Shane would go above and beyond to make it his best birthday yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,136
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    1,916
    Bookmarks:
    357
    Hits:
    15,327

    15 Jun 2026