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Shane Hollander was a big name on campus, anyone who knew anybody knew who he was. He was popular, on a sports scholarship at one of the best schools in the county playing right-winger for one of the strongest teams in the entire amateur ice hockey league.
Scouts were already attending his games and at this point, it was less a question of if he would be drafted and more a question of when.
His name carried weight, himself out of everyone knew that the most.
When he first came to the school, Shane might’ve just looked like your typical jock. He was in a frat, hung around with the loud mouths, ran on a routine that consisted of strictly eat, sleep and gym.
But in reality, he never really fit that mould. In his first year, he was quiet, his coaches often pulled him up on his anti-social behaviour on and off the ice, he didn’t really party despite his house being the number one social spot on campus.
Shane quickly learnt to despise the feeling of not fitting in.
So, over time, he gradually learnt how to be somebody else. He played the part people wanted to see, he’d drink himself silly, stay up gaming till stupid o’clock in the morning with the rest of the team, he’d be loud and brash.
Two years in, Shane knew how to control his image, he had mastered it by this point. Tweaks to his personality and day-to-day life were easy, but there was one thing that Shane couldn’t seem to fix.
Because most strikingly of all, Shane was still a virgin.
It was something that bothered him the more he got older, especially when all his friends were getting laid and bragging about it on the regular.
The thing was, Shane got attention, a lot of it. Women practically threw themselves at him. He had kissed a few and there was one time in freshmen year he had a drunken blowjob that ended in disaster but aside from that, nothing.
Shane wasn’t a prude by any stretch of the imagination, he had wants and desires, he liked porn and jerked off but, he just hadn’t found the right girl to be intimate with and every time tried to, he just couldn’t stay turned on.
These women were attractive too, all very pretty and what should be Shane’s type, but each time he would go soft and leave himself embarrassed and his partners disappointed.
He was on the brink of giving up entirely, he had much bigger things to focus on than his sex life. But there was always this nagging voice in the back of his head that said there was something wrong with him.
That he was different.
His friends liked to make fun of his innocence, a word he had grown to loathe and although over time he had grown used to the jabs it didn’t mean that it didn’t get under his skin.
It particularly bothered him when people would make those jokes in front of Ilya Rozanov, captain of the hockey team.
Rozanov was everything Shane wasn’t, he seemed to command the attention of every room he walked into. Shane still remembered the first time he met the Russian prodigy. For a few brief months, Shane had found himself almost in awe.
He was by far Shane’s biggest competition, scouts loved him, and it was already confirmed that he was up for the draft next year which Shane just knew he would place first.
He was a phenomenal hockey player, possibly even better than Shane, though that was a truth he hated acknowledging. Even worse, he was a great captain. The type who could kick an entire bench into play with his locker room speeches.
Rozanov didn’t have to demand respect, it just happened naturally. He didn’t have to play a character like Shane.
People loved him, men and women alike. Shane knew that since he slept the room across from the infuriating man.
Rozanov’s choices in partners were loud.
The pair had a weird relationship. On ice, they were unstoppable. The two were so in sync. The type of chemistry usually reserved for teammates who had spent years playing side by side.
Off ice was a little stranger, the two had a somewhat complex relationship. When Shane first pledged, the pair were glued to the hip.
Shane was instantly pulled in by the teasing remarks and cocky charm of the Russian captain. At the time, Shane couldn’t place if his emotions were driven by envy or something else.
Something he’d rather not acknowledge.
They would go to the gym together, train together, watch films in each other’s room whilst people partied downstairs.
Slowly, things started to shift.
Movie nights would teeter towards borderline cuddling in Ilya’s bed, sometimes they wouldn’t even bother turning the television on. They would sit and talk for hours, neither commenting nor acting upon the not so innocent touches that started to arise.
It became a nightly occurrence.
They got closer during the daytime, the team knew that if Ilya was around, Shane wouldn’t be far behind. They allowed themselves lingering gazes from across the ice, play fighting in the gym in a way that couldn’t possibly be friendly.
Ilya always knew who was knocking at his door once the sun would go down.
Shane was at his happiest with Ilya, it was like there was some gravitational pull that drew them together. But they never ever discussed the budding tension.
Every time it felt as though they were going past the point of no return, Shane would retract.
He wasn’t into men, at least that’s what he would lie awake at night and tell himself. But, he wasn’t completely oblivious to the pull he felt towards Ilya.
The constant want to be around him, touching him, laying next to him.
Shane knew, deep, deep down he knew, but it was a truth he couldn’t bare to acknowledge.
So they kept things undiscussed, continued with their odd, flirty relationship that never quite crossed the line.
Once people started to catch onto their special relationship, that’s when things started to go downhill.
He remembers the turning point well, the day he realised he needed to push Rozanov away. It was an away game with a rival school, Rozanov had a pulled muscle, so Shane was playing centre.
He was head-to-head with the captain of the other team, cheers booming around the arena as they waited for the puck to drop.
‘No Rozanov today?’ The opposition asked with a smirk, shit talking was common in this sport. ‘Guaranteed win for us.’
Shane scoffed. ‘We’ll see.’
Their eyes met, sticks at the ready. Shane was focused.
‘Is he a good fuck?’ The vulgar words came out harsh, intended to shake him.
And it did.
‘What?’ He shot back, he could feel his entire body go hot underneath his gear.
‘Come on, Hollander.’ His opponent chuckled, adjusting his stick a little. ‘Everyone knows about you two.’
Shane’s lips parted, eyes widening slightly as the crowd started to drown out. If people from other schools thought that about them, then what did his school think? What did his team think?
Him and Rozanov hadn’t been intimate together but that didn’t mean Shane hadn’t had wandering thoughts.
Thoughts that certainly shouldn’t be directed towards the team captain.
Thoughts that shouldn’t be directed towards a man.
‘We don’t-‘ He hoped quickly on the defence, he knew that he shouldn’t have bit, but he just couldn’t help himself with his voice full of uncertainty. ‘It’s not like that-‘
The puck dropped and they lost, badly.
He recalls walking back into the locker room, head hung and Rozanov waiting inside. He ignored every other player and walked straight towards Shane.
‘Don’t worry about it.’ Rozanov soothed, patting his shoulder. ‘Happens to us all.’
Shane’s jaw tightened. He didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t help but direct his anger towards the man that had infiltrated his head. Rozanov was clearly distracting him, and Shane couldn’t afford that.
Rozanov looked taken aback when Shane shoved his hand off.
‘It’s just a bad game, Hollander.’ Rozanov reasoned, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Shane replied with a scoff and a shake of his head.
His eyes were on the floor, biting down on the inside of his cheek. ‘Do you know what they say about us?’
Rozanov shrugged. ‘No.’ He seemed completely unbothered which only frustrated Shane further.
Shane’s eyes darted around the room before looking back to the other. ‘They think…’ He quickly lowered his voice into a searing whisper. ‘They think we have sex.’
There was a pause and then Shane watched as a big grin formed on Rozanov’s face followed by a snort of amusement.
‘It’s not funny.’ Shane seethed, he wasn’t quite sure if he was angry that Rozanov wasn’t taking this seriously or if he was offended that the idea of them having sex was so amusing to him.
‘It is. A little.’ Rozanov was still laughing to himself. ‘This is what made you throw the game?’
Shane’s eyes were like steel. Maybe Rozanov didn’t care about his reputation, but he certainly cared about his.
‘Stop fucking laughing.’ He gritted back, people were starting to glance in their direction which only made things worse.
Rozanov placed a hand over his mouth to calm himself down, his eyes swirling with amusement. ‘Sorry.’ He couldn’t have sounded less apologetic if he tried. ‘I just don’t understand why you are upset.’
‘Why are you not upset?’ Shane fired back, tugging Rozanov further away by the shirt and into the corner away from prying eyes.
The other shrugged. ‘Because we don’t have sex.’ He replied simply, calming down from the laughter and slipping back into infuriating nonchalance.
‘But they think we do-‘ Shane felt as though he was going insane, he didn’t understand how Rozanov remained so unbothered.
‘So?’ Rozanov chuckled, glancing down at Shane’s hand that was still clutching his top. ‘Even if we did, it’s nobody’s business.’
Shane recoiled from the shirt instantly, hands dropping to his sides. ‘I’m straight, Rozanov.’
The word didn’t sound right on his tongue, no matter how many times he had repeated it to himself.
He missed how Rozanov’s jaw ticked. ‘Good for you. So, there’s no problem then?’
Shane scoffed. ‘You’re not listening to me.’
Rozanov took a step closer, trapping Shane in against the wall. ‘I’m listening to you, rookie.’ He purred, voice low.
Shane started to feel hot, he cleared his throat as he dared to make eye contact with the other man. ‘Rozanov-‘
He was quietly shushed, Rozanov’s fingers ghosted the bottom of his jersey. ‘We’re good friends, aren’t we, Hollander?’ His voice sounded like a taunt.
Both of them knew what they had been doing wasn’t friendly.
Shane felt like he was walking into a trap.
‘Yes-‘ His voice came out weaker than he wanted it to, he could still hear the chatter of his teammates in the nearby room.
Anybody could’ve turned the corner and seen them.
‘Yes, we are.’ Rozanov’s tone was condescending, he had Shane exactly where he wanted him. ‘Do you want to know why I’m not bothered?’
Shane let out a soft breath as Rozanov leaned closer, their faces were so close. Then, Shane gently nodded.
Ronzanov’s lips hovered right over Shane’s ear, he recalls the goosebumps on his arms. ‘Because I know whose bed you’ll be in tonight.’
The sentence alone was enough to snap Shane out of whatever daze he'd fallen into. His hand shot out, shoving Rozanov firmly in the chest and forcing a step of distance between them.
Realisation hit him all at once. Ilya was making fun of him. Ilya had him wrapped around his finger.
‘Fuck you.’ Shane spat, anger fuelling back up. ‘Stay away from me.’
Rozanov rolled his eyes. ‘Hollander.’ His tone suggested that he thought Shane was overreacting.
‘No, fuck off.’ Shane was passed the point of reasoning and Rozanov was breaching a grey area of territory that Shane didn’t like to acknowledge about himself.
Rozanov put his hands up in mock surrender. ‘I’m sorry, okay?’
‘No, you’re not.’ Shane gritted back and judging by the small curve of Rozanov’s mouth he was correct. ‘Just leave me alone.’
With that, Shane pushed past the other and stormed back into the changing rooms.
Things were never the same after that.
Shane distanced himself from Rozanov and in doing so, grew closer with the rest of the team. It was hard to ignore each other since they ran in the same circles, but Shane was determined.
He threw himself into a version of masculinity that felt safer. He flirted with girls, laughed harder at dumb jokes, played the role everyone expected him to play. Part of it was for the people around him.
Most of it was to prove something to Ilya.
Rozanov tried for a while, striking up small talk in the locker rooms or quick teasing jabs. But the more Shane fell into this air-head jock character the more he pulled away.
The space between them widened until it became the new normal. For the most part.
Until Shane would have a drink.
Drinking was a regular occurrence in his house and Shane rarely needed much convincing to join in. Over time, he realised alcohol gave him something he'd been searching for, an excuse.
An excuse to say and do things he would never allow himself to sober.
He faintly remembers the first night he did it, mind fuzzy as he knocked on the familiar door.
‘Come in.’ There was music playing from Ilya’s room and the smell of weed invading his Shane’s senses as he opened.
There was Ilya, shirtless, blunt between his lips and a knowing smirk on his face.
‘Hollander.’ He purred, like he had expected this. ‘Did you miss me?’
Shane closed the door and stepped into the lion’s den, bottle of beer still in hands. ‘Depends.’ He shrugged, inching closer, he always loved the smell of Ilya’s room, weed, cedar and sandalwood. ‘Did you miss me?’
Ilya took a short hit, daring Shane to move. ‘I always miss you, kotenok.’
The smoke he blew out dissipated throughout the room, Shane’s body was wrapped in a warm blanket of alcohol as he drew himself closer to the edge of the bed. ‘I told you not to call me that.’
Shane loved when Ilya called him that.
Ilya shrugged, brushing off his comment. ‘Are you done playing pretend downstairs?’
Knees on the edge of the bed, Shane held Ilya’s bloodshot gaze. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
With a twitch of his lips, Ilya placed the blunt back between his lips and spoke around it. ‘Come here.’
That’s all Shane needed, a simple instruction to allow himself to crumble.
He crawled onto Ilya’s body, resting his head down onto the broad chest as he situated himself between Ilya’s legs.
Shane didn’t even realise that Ilya had pried the bottle of beer from his hands and set it down on the table beside them.
‘I missed you.’ Shane admitted, rubbing his nose into the bare chest.
Ilya continued to smoke as he held him. ‘You were the one that got all dramatic.’
Shane didn’t have the energy to fight, he just wanted to be held.
Shane was drunk, Ilya was far too high. So, they indulged.
‘Why didn’t you come downstairs?’ That was Shane’s subtle way of prying, the party had been going on for a few hours now and Ilya didn’t show face once.
Ilya just ran his free hand up Shane’s back, liking the feeling of the fabric under his fingertips. ‘I had a girl coming over.’ He replied casually. ‘She had to cancel though.’
In Shane’s state, he couldn’t help when he let out a scoff.
‘Ah.’ Ilya tutted, reaching his arm over to flick the ash into the glass tray beside them. ‘You don’t get to be jealous, Hollander.’
It was a short fire response to let Shane know that he had made his bed, that he was the one that shut down whatever the fuck was simmering between them.
Shane was jealous, an ugly feeling curling around his chest.
‘I’m not.’ He bit back, pushing himself further into Ilya’s body as though he was trying to chase away the feeling. ‘You can do what you want.’
He didn’t see how Ilya’s lips curled.
‘How come you came to me?’ Ilya couldn’t help but ask, finding the situation somewhat entertaining.
The feeling of Ilya’s hand on his back was nice, almost grounding him. With heavy eyelids he replied. ‘Just wanted to see you.’
It was the honest to God truth, Shane needed somewhere to decompress so he came to his favourite place.
‘Cute.’ Ilya murmured back, Shane could hear the faint crackling as he took another hit from the blunt.
They laid in silence as Ilya finished smoking, Shane heard the bud drop down into the ashtray before strong arms started to adjust him a little more.
‘Are you staying here tonight?’ Ilya broke the quiet as he ran a hand through Shane’s hair, it felt so good as nails gently started to scratch his scalp.
‘Maybe.’ It wouldn’t be the first time the two had fallen asleep next to each other.
Ilya let out a sound close to a hum as he closed his eyes, letting himself ride his high with a pretty boy sat on top of him.
Shane craned his neck up to watch him with a small smile.
They did end up falling asleep together, legs tangled, and arms wrapped up in the other.
Shane was the first to wake, with both a pounding headache and disbelief with himself. He quietly got up from the bed, jaw tight at his own weakness as he silently left the room.
Like most things that happened between them, they didn’t talk about it.
Not on the first time it happened, or the second or even third.
It was a weekly occurrence at this point, a small lapse in Shane’s judgment that could be masked as just being drunk.
On those drunken nights, Rozanov always entertained him. He'd let Shane sprawl across his chest, their legs tangled together on the bed as they pretended that they were something for a fleeting few hours.
They would fall asleep, held close in a way Shane never allowed himself to think about once morning came when he would leave without saying goodbye.
The more they did it, the more reserved Ilya seemed to get with him during day-to-day. It was an evident frustration that Shane couldn’t seem to understand.
Shane didn’t know why Rozanov was angry, but he couldn’t help but feel like for some reason the captain was trying to get even for those drunken slip-ups.
It started off with petty things.
Food Shane had left in the fridge would mysteriously disappear. Ilya would leave equipment in inconvenient places or go harder on him than others in practice.
Shane was far too afraid of looking oversensitive to call him out on it, so he swallowed his irritation and pretended that it didn’t bother him. Which only seemed to encourage Rozanov more.
Then there was the night he found out Shane was a virgin.
It was over a dumb game of two truths and a lie, Rozanov wasn’t even there to begin with. Shane was way too drunk and spewing absolute nonsense.
‘Well, the lie has to be he’s a virgin.’ Pike pointed out like it was obvious, taking another big gulp of his drink.
‘Yeah, Hollander. You’re supposed to make this difficult.’ Marleau added on with a laugh. Shane just grinned big as discourse broke out from around the room.
His eyelids felt heavy, and he should’ve gone to bed hours ago. The group turned to look at him to wait for his response. Then, with another big gulp of his drink, he answered.
‘I never broke my nose.’
To say people overreacted was a little bit of an understatement, some people shot up to pace around the room, other people sat up in shock.
But Shane was feeling too numb from the alcohol to do anything but smile at the ceiling.
‘What?’ Hayden exclaimed in disbelief. ‘What?’
Shane chuckled, mostly to himself. ‘I’ve never had sex.’
It wasn’t a big thing for him at this point, he didn’t realise what he was setting himself up for.
‘You’re fucking lying.’ Marleau was stood with a huge grin on his face. ‘Hollander, say you’re fucking lying.’
Shane shook his head sluggishly from side to side.
‘Whose lying?’ He could hear a familiar voice stood right behind him on the couch, as Shane threw his head back further onto the pillows, he could see Rozanov towering over him.
He was looking right back down, meeting Shane’s glassy eyes.
‘Roz.’ J.J was still laughing. ‘Hollander has just said he’s a virgin.’
Rozanov’s eyes stayed focused on Shane, he couldn’t tell what the other was thinking when he was sober, never mind now.
‘What is the big deal?’ Shane sighed out, eyes slipping closed as he absently reached behind him, trying to pull Rozanov closer.
Rozanov didn’t let Shane grab him, but he moved in anyway, he shifted towards the back of the couch, leaning forwards with his hands bracing on either side of Shane’s head.
‘Tell them to stop being mean to me.’ Shane pouted quietly, just for Rozanov’s ears. The bass of the music was getting too loud, and he was starting to feel a little sick from the amount he had drank.
He felt the bottle being gently pried from his hands, causing his eyes to flicker open.
Rozanov took a swig, his positioning meant that his crucifix necklace was dangling right over Shane’s face. Then, he focused his attention to his team. ‘We have early practice tomorrow. Party’s over.’
There was a short outbreak of protests, but Rozanov’s decision was final, nobody dared to truly push his patience.
People started to filter out and Rozanov stayed behind Shane the entire time until they were left alone.
‘You’re welcome.’ Rozanov said sarcastically, Shane was too drunk to realise that the other had saved him from further embarrassment.
He tried to reach behind the couch again but this time he was stopped by a soft touch. Rozanov took hold of his hand, grounding him.
‘You’re very drunk.’ Rozanov acknowledged, Shane could lightly feel fingertips gently gracing the top of his hand.
‘I was just about to come see you.’ Shane admitted, turning his head into the clasped hands. The touch felt nice, it didn’t feel forced.
Rozanov sighed quietly to himself. ‘Come on, I’ll get you to bed.’
Shane shook his head in protest, eyes closing. ‘Sit here with me for a bit.’ His response was vulnerable, stripped of the persona he had carefully curated.
He missed Ilya.
‘You should go to bed.’ He heard Rozanov reply, causing Shane to let out a huff of frustration.
He craned his neck to the back of the sofa, watching Ilya who was towering over him. ‘Don’t want to.’
‘Shane.’ Rozanov tried again, urging him to move.
‘Ilya.’ He bit back.
It was rare Ilya told him no, and that was proven when the other man walked around the couch to sit beside him.
Like a dog to a bone, Shane was at his side.
‘Are you really a virgin?’ Ilya asked curiously, letting Shane sink into the space beside him like he always did.
Nodding, Shane placed his head on Ilya’s shoulder. ‘Yeah.’
Ilya couldn’t fathom how, not with the amount of attention Shane got. ‘Why?’
‘Why?’ Shane repeated with a snort, sadly amused with himself. ‘Because my dick is broken.’
He wasn’t sure why he was giving Rozanov all this ammunition to use against him.
‘What do you mean, broken?’ Ilya pried further with a pinch of his eyebrows, thinking maybe Shane had some form of medical condition.
‘It’s embarrassing---’ Shane’s head was lulled into Ilya’s shoulder. ‘---It doesn’t stay hard.’
‘Oh.’ Ilya replied slowly, the cogs slowly turning in his head like he was putting the puzzle pieces together. ‘With girls?’
‘Obviously with girls.’ Shane laughed, not quite catching onto what Ilya was getting at. ‘It just doesn’t work.’
He couldn’t see how Ilya was looking at him with pity.
‘I don’t think that it’s not because it doesn’t work…’ Ilya’s tone was suggestive, lightly dancing around the subject as though not to upset Shane who was oblivious.
‘It doesn’t.’ He replied definitively, Shane had tried everything at this point.
‘Does it work when you masturbate?’ Ilya cut back in. To no surprise, Shane nodded his head. He had no problem with getting himself off, it’s just when it came down to other people. ‘Well----what do you think about when you masturbate?’
Even in Shane’s hazy state, he tensed just a little. ‘Boobs and stuff.’ He lied through his teeth.
‘Boobs and stuff.’ Ilya repeated with a grin, both men knew that Shane wasn’t telling the truth. ‘What do you actually think about?’
You. Shane thought to himself. Always you.
‘Just stuff.’ He dismissed, clearly wanting to rid himself from the topic.
Ilya’s lip twitched as he watched the other lie to himself over and over again.
‘I could get you hard.’
The sentence washed over Shane like an ice cool bucket of water as he ripped himself away from Ilya’s side. ‘What?’
Ilya simply shrugged, taking a swig from Shane’s beer again. ‘I could keep you hard.’
‘What---’ Shane laughed in disbelief, like the idea was ridiculous. ‘What are you even saying right now?’
Ilya was done with feeding into Shane’s strange delusions as he turned to face him, expression deadly serious. ‘I could get your dick hard, Hollander. Is simple.’
‘Ilya—’ he sputtered out, had his drink been spiked? Was this just a hallucination? ‘I’m straight.’
Ilya shook his head. ‘Doesn’t matter.’ He didn’t feel the need to debunk Shane’s pathetic lie. ‘I could still get you hard.’
There was a moment where Shane just gawked at him, he couldn’t quite tell if Ilya was being serious but if his expression was anything to go by, he was. ‘No, you couldn’t.’
That’s when the moment of a challenge arose and the two men locked eyes. Competitiveness ran in their blood.
‘How much?’ Ilya’s lips curled as his gaze flickered towards Shane’s crotch.
‘Ten dollars.’ Shane bit back, gaze full of intensity. The way Ilya was looking at him made Shane feel pinned to the spot.
‘Twenty.’ Ilya cut back in.
‘Deal.’
The wager was set, both men felt the air shift into something deeper.
‘Rules?’ Ilya asked curiously, tilting his head to the side as he weighed up his opponent.
Shane thought for a moment. ‘You can’t touch me.’ He knew he’d be fine if Ilya’s hands didn’t claim him.
But Ilya just looked devastatingly confident as he smirked. ‘Okay.’
Ilya stalked closer, moving right into Shane’s side but not quite touching as agreed.
Shane sat up straight, legs slightly parted and back to the couch, letting out a swallow as he felt soft breath from Ilya’s mouth against his ear.
‘Are you going to be a good boy for me, Hollander?’ His voice was low, seeping into Shane’s head like honey.
Shane felt his stomach curl in excitement as he tensed his jaw, eyes focusing on the floor.
‘Fuck off.’ He weakly bit back. Shane usually found himself having to focus to stay hard, this was the complete opposite.
Lips started to ghost along his neck, not quite touching but enough for goosebumps to rise.
‘Don’t be like that, kotenok.’ Ilya pouted playfully, drinking in the way Shane was already squirming in his seat. ‘I just want to have some fun with you, will you let me?’
Shane didn’t know why he nodded obediently.
‘Good boy.’ Ilya teased again, Shane was so pliant in nature when he was aroused, it was cute. ‘Lay down on your back for me.’
Shane’s head snapped towards Ilya. ‘I said no touching.’
Ilya just looked amused. ‘I’m not going to touch you. Now, lay on your back.’
With a bundle of nerves and a thrill of unknowing, Shane laid down against the pillows, watching as Ilya sat up and situated himself between Shane’s legs.
Anybody could’ve walked down and seen them in this compromising position.
But for once, Shane found himself not caring. Not with Ilya towering over him looking so big and commanding.
‘That’s it, eyes on me.’ Ilya coaxed. Shane watched in awe as the man on top slowly started to run a hand down his own chest.
Gliding lower and lower and-
‘Fuck.’ Ilya moaned quietly as he squeezed his cock through his sweats.
Shane’s eyes widened, mouth parting in the shock. ‘Roz—’
He couldn’t get his sentence out, he just swallowed down his words as he watched. Shane knew that needed to focus, but it was slipping away from him as Ilya continued to tease his own dick through the material.
‘My cock would look so good in your mouth, Hollander.’ With a smirk, he took another swig of the beer in his hand, having Shane exactly where he wanted him.
Shane couldn’t seem to look away, entranced by the man on top of him.
‘Pretty fucking lips.’ He added with a smise, eyes trailing over Shane’s face like he was committing this moment to memory.
Shane was slowly losing his mind, he wasn’t quite sure why he was entertaining Rozanov as he playfully bit down on his lower lips to tease. But the look on Ilya’s face was worth it, he looked as though he was doing everything in his power not to jump Shane right there.
Ilya’s cock was starting to fill out, Shane was watching the material stretch with a wet mouth.
‘Do you want it, Hollander?’ Ilya’s voice was rough as he touched himself.
Shane nodded. Slowly, as though he was in some sort of trance.
‘That’s too bad.’ Ilya shot back, teasing his fingers under the waistband of his own sweats to grab his cock through his boxers, showing Shane his prominent v-line.
‘Probably wouldn’t even know what to do with it, would you?’ He was being mean on purpose. ‘Little virgin.’
Shane couldn’t look away, eyes fixated on Ilya’s hardening cock. He liked Ilya’s cruel words, they were sending jolts of arousal that was heading straight towards his---
Fuck, he was hard. He was so hard.
In the back of his head, he knew that he was going past the point of no return. That he should’ve just gone to bed like Ilya suggested.
But had he done that, he would’ve missed possibly the hottest experience of his life.
‘Ah, looks like your dick isn’t broken.’ Ilya caught on with a devasting grin, seeing the bulge that was prominent through Shane’s shorts.
Shane jolted with a soft gasp when Ilya took his fingers and flicked this cock.
Humiliation zapped through Shane at both the action and the loss, but he just couldn’t stop looking. Ilya looked so big, even under the dingy lighting and material in the way. Shane needed to see more.
‘Please.’ He barely recognised his own voice, cock straining against his boxers.
Ilya’s eyes flicked to his with a twitch of his jaw. ‘Please what?’
Shane swallowed again, accepting both the defeat and the truth. ‘Touch me.’
‘Oh, Hollander.’ Ilya almost cooed, sucking his teeth in triumph.
Shane felt pathetic.
‘I’m not going to touch you.’ Ilya hummed, like he was stating a simple fact.
Shane was reeling. ‘Rozanov, please.’He was already begging, what more did Ilya want?
‘No.’ Ilya repeated, watching the sad display. ‘If you want my cock---’ Ilya couldn’t help but be cruel as he ran his finger along Shane’s bulge. ‘You come to me sober.’
Shane’s hips bucked lightly but the touch was gone as quick as it was there. ‘Ilya.’ He had never needed something so desperately before.
He tried to convince himself it was only the alcohol, it wasn’t.
‘No.’ Ilya cut in, tone certain as he climbed off of the couch and tucked himself back in. ‘You either come to me sober or not at all.’
Shane felt like crying as Ilya stood up.
‘And you owe me twenty dollars.’ He added before disappearing upstairs without a glance back, leaving Shane both frustrated and hard.
Shane spiralled after that night.
He was so embarrassed and annoyed with himself that he cut all ties from Ilya. Convinced that if he stayed away long enough, surely whatever this was would disappear.
He couldn’t be tempted, and Ilya Rozanov was the human embodiment of temptation.
He wasn’t gay, he couldn’t be gay.
So why every night after the incident would Shane lay in his darkened room with his hand around his cock replaying that night over and over again.
He threw himself more into the gym, pushing his body to the limits as though he was trying to use the pain as an escape to chase away his feelings.
But even when he would wake up, his body sore and muscles tired, he would still think about him.
So, he started to date around. A lot.
Casual flings here and there that mostly stayed on text, he even downloaded a few dating apps.
It was easy online, Shane knew how to say the right things and flirt. It worked for a while, kept him distracted. But, when it came to a physical date, that’s when he struggled.
He just never found someone to click with. Not like how he clicked with----
That didn’t matter.
There was no spark or anything special and whilst all the girls were beautiful, Shane felt nothing.
He took a few of them home, but the same thing always happened. They would kiss, Shane would try to distract himself with anything that might help him get in the mood, but when things threatened to go any further, reality would come crashing back in.
That’s exactly where he found himself tonight.
Sara was stunning, dark skinned, big brown eyes, she looked like she should be a model. Shane took a few classes with her, and she was just as smart as she was pretty.
Shane liked talking to her, she was kind. So, he did what he thought were the logical next steps and asked her out on a date.
It went well, they had a lot in common. They talked the night away and before he knew it Sara had asked if he had any other plans for the rest of the night.
Shane knew what she was suggesting, he wasn’t stupid.
They went back to his, some of his teammates shot him suggestive looks which he ignored as he led her upstairs.
He thought maybe this time would be different since he felt comfortable with her.
It wasn’t.
It started off fine, Sara was a good kisser. They were laid out on the bed, legs tangled together. Then, Shane felt her hand slowly drag lower and lower until it reached his cock.
Eyes closed, Shane continued to lead the kiss. He let his mind wander, reshaping the moment into something it wasn’t. Instead of her soft skin he pictured strong muscles. Her floral perfume mentally switched to a rich sandalwood and cigarettes.
He started to feel himself fill out.
He let out a breath of relief as she climbed on top, lips still clashing as Sara started to undo his belt.
Her hand squeezed his cock, tender touches that he pretended were big, rough hands.
‘You’re so hot.’ She breathed between kisses, delicate fingers undoing the buttons before Shane helped in lifting his waist so she could pull them down.
They broke away as Sara started to kiss down his chest. Shane’s eyes opened, hand carding through her hair as her mouth travelled lower and lower.
Her beautiful eyes looked up at him playfully and Shane managed a smile back. She should be everything he wanted, this is what normal guys do.
With the look of encouragement, Sara pulled down his boxers. His cock was semi-hard as she leaned forward to lick the tip with a soft hum.
‘Fuck.’ Shane put his head back onto the pillow as he squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn’t a curse of pleasure and more of frustration with himself, but he hoped Sara didn’t pick up on that.
He was slipping. Desperately, he started scanning his head for another scenario to keep himself going.
Shane thought back to laying in a bed that wasn’t his, resting beside a strong body and positioned far too close to be considered truly friendly. He recalled back to playful mean words being drawled into his ear with a lilt of a soft Russian accent.
His lips gently curled at the memory.
He was hard when she finally sank her mouth down onto his cock.
Shane’s eyes opened, a wave of determination hitting him, he could do this. ‘That feels good.’ He breathed words of encouragement, hand gently resting on the back of her head.
She hummed around him, eyes flicking up.
Their gazes met and Shane felt horrible to mentally admit that he wished they hadn’t. He became overwhelmed with a sudden feeling of wrongness, but he willed himself to focus.
Shane held her gaze as she worked her mouth down around him, her plump lips probably looked so perfect to anybody else. His body started to feel hot, he tried to focus his mind elsewhere again, but he couldn’t keep it up.
She wasn’t him. None of these girls were him.
He squeezed his eyes closed in frustration as his head hit the pillow, that familiar wave of embarrassment came crashing down. ‘I’m sorry.’ He sighed out as he felt himself go soft in her mouth. ‘It’s not you.’
Shane’s hands squeezed the sheets, his jaw tight as she pulled off with a subtle frown. ‘It’s okay.’ Sara reasoned, hand so soothingly rubbing his stomach.
But Shane was already annoyed with himself. ‘It’s not.’ He softly replied, mostly to himself. He sat himself up, discreetly trying to get away from her gentle touches. ‘I can go down on you, if you like.’
Sara watched him with a sad smile, there was something in her gaze that suggested she understood something he didn’t. Then, she shook her head. ‘It’s fine, it’s late anyway.’
Shane nodded in understanding, he had already ruined the moment. ‘I’ll call you a cab.’
They waited together for the cab to arrive, Sara continued to be ever so sweet. If Shane was normal, there could’ve been something here.
But he wasn’t.
When it was time he led her downstairs, a few members of the team including Rozanov were sat on the couch together.
Shane didn’t notice the intense gaze as he led Sara towards the door.
‘I’m sorry again.’ He said quietly to her as they stood at the door. Sara smiled kindly and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
‘It’s fine, Shane.’ She replied, giving his hand a soft squeeze of encouragement.
They said goodbye, Shane asked if she could text him to make sure she got home safe although he knew that he most likely wouldn’t hear from her again after his performance.
Then, when the door closed, he placed his head against the wall.
‘How’d it go?’ Pike asked, looking slightly concerned.
That seemed to push Shane over the edge, his entire body went rigid as anger surged through him.
Before he even realised what he was doing, his fist slammed into the wall.
Adrenaline was flooding his system so heavily that he barely felt it at first, his chest heaving as he stared at the dent he'd left behind. Only seconds later did the pain begin to creep in, a dull throb spreading across his knuckles.
It wasn’t enough, he needed to feel more to make up for the lack of emotion he felt during intimacy.
He went in again but was abruptly stopped, body pulled into a strong chest. It was only then he could feel the wetness on his cheeks.
‘That’s enough.’ A deep voice flooded into his ears, the same voice he pictured inside his head only moments ago.
Shane just cried harder, going slack in Rozanov’s hold.
‘There’s something wrong with me.’ He started to feel like he couldn’t breathe, chest going tight with panic.
Rozanov held him the entire time, grounding him back into reality. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you.’
His words held something deeper, like somehow, he knew more than Shane but wasn’t able to say it out loud. Shane didn’t even care that there were other people in the room watching, he just needed Rozanov to keep holding him as though he meant something.
He sniffled, his breathing gradually slowing down again as he drank in the delicious smell of sandalwood and cigarettes.
‘I’m okay.’ Shane cleared his throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed about his sudden outburst.
He pulled away first, as much as he didn’t want to.
The rest of the room looked at him with concern, but Shane didn’t want pity, he wiped his eyes, put on a fake smile and ignored Rozanov’s look of disappointment as he spoke.
‘Let’s have a drink, yeah?’
Shane fell into his usual routine of drinking far too much to numb the humiliation and once again, he found himself glued to Rozanov’s side on the couch.
He could tell the other was angry from the way he was furiously swiping through his phone.
The rest of the team were having a good time, a few came up to Shane to check in but he brushed them off with nothing more than a raised bottle.
He didn’t want their attention.
‘Are you mad at me?’ He put on a pout as his body sank further into the couch. Rozanov shot him nothing more than a side glance to confirm before he switched his attention back to the screen.
Shane sighed, moving impossibly closer. ‘What can I do to stop you being mad at me?’
Other people he didn’t recognise were filtering in, clearly invited by someone on the team.
Rozanov still wasn’t budging, so Shane’s hand every so subtly drew towards his upper thigh, leaning in just a little closer. ‘We should go upstairs.’
‘You’re drunk.’ Rozanov gritted back, eyes flicking down towards Shane’s hand.
Shane just shrugged. ‘So?’ It hadn’t bothered Ilya before, so he didn’t understand why he was mad now.
He heard the other scoff, pushing away his hand with ease. ‘Not tonight, Shane.’
‘Why not?’ There was a subtle frown as he tried to chase Rozanov’s eyes, but he kept his gaze glued to the screen, as if distracting himself from giving in.
‘Because I’m not doing this anymore.’
There was a small pause as Shane tried to decipher whatever the hell that meant. ‘Doing what?’
Rozanov let out another humourless scoff. ‘This.’ The word came out almost tired as he gestured between them.
Shane was still confused. ‘I don’t get what you mean.’
A curse slipped from Rozanov's lips in Russian. When he looked back at Shane, his full attention settled on him. ‘You don’t get to do this to me every time you drink too much.’
Shane pulled back just a little more, the seriousness tone seemed to sober him up just a little. ‘Ilya-.’
‘No.’ The interruption was immediate.
Shane thought that this arrangement was fine between the two of them. Their own little secret.
Ilya didn’t want to be a secret. ‘You get drunk, climb all over me, make me think-’ He cut himself off quickly, his expression stoic as he turned to face the party. ‘I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself.’
‘Ilya, I’m fine-‘ He went to interject but he was sharply cut off.
‘You’re not fine, look at your hand.’ Ilya was getting angry, and Shane couldn’t help but look down towards his bruising knuckle. ‘This is done.’
The words hit with surprising force and Shane looked dumbfounded, this sounded like some sort of breakup.
And it sort of felt that way too.
‘I’m straight.’ The excuse sounded pathetic, even Shane winced.
Ilya laughed.
‘I’m straight, Ilya.’ The next time he said it was firmer, but he wasn’t quite sure who he was trying to convince.
Slowly, Ilya looked him up and down. Then his gaze settled on where Shane was currently perched.
‘You’re practically sat on my fucking lap.’
Shane moved away instantly, suddenly overly aware of how it must’ve looked to the rest of the room.
His reaction let Ilya know that he had made the right decision, Shane wasn’t going to change. He was too caught up in his own image, too bothered about how he was perceived.
‘Enjoy the party.’ Ilya said bitterly as he got up from the couch without a look back, Shane watched with a frown as he took himself upstairs.
He suddenly didn’t feel like drinking.
They had practice the next day, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Rozanov left him alone.
There were no teasing smirks when Shane fumbled a pass. No stupid comments whenever his concentration slipped for even a second.
Nothing.
And somehow, that was worse. Rozanov was treating him exactly the same as everyone else on the team.
He knew he had messed up and the more he sat on Rozanov’s words and contemplated, the more he started to realise that he owed an apology to the other.
Shane thought back to the nights with his head on Rozanov’s chest, Ilya would sometimes smoke a blunt as they cuddled. His eyes would always go bloodshot, making the pretty blue pop even more.
He thought about Rozanov’s hand playing with his hair, scratching his scalp in a way that made his body go lax. It felt so nice finally be himself. Even if he did have to down six or so drinks to get him there.
Most of all, he thought about how much he liked Ilya. Not as a friendship, or a brotherhood.
Shane wanted Ilya.
It was easier when he was drunk, he could pretend it was just the alcohol drawing them together, but Shane knew the truth, he knew exactly why he came crawling back every single time.
It was around ten at night when Shane finally made a decision, a few days had past and Rozanov was sticking true to his word in ignoring Shane.
So, he crawled out from his bed. There was a thrum of bass from the party downstairs that he had purposefully not attended to make a point.
He made his way across the hallway and knocked on Rozanov’s door, one time and then another when there was no answer. Then, he let himself inside.
Shane figured that Rozanov was downstairs and whilst he was tempted to go looking for him, he didn’t want to be dragged into the party.
So he decided to wait, pacing nervously around the room as he mentally built up the courage to finally ask for what he really wanted. He was stopped in his tracks when he saw a pile of folded laundry resting on top of one of the desks.
Rozanov's jersey sat on top of the pile, the number eighty-one stretched proudly across the back. Shane bit the inside of his cheek as he drifted closer, fingers brushing against the fabric.
Before he could stop himself, he picked it up.
It smelt fresh, not tinged with the usually stink of sweat like usual.
That disappointed him, just a little.
He let the fabric rub against his skin as he held onto the little bit of Rozanov he had. Then, without really thinking he set it down to discard himself of his own top.
The coolness of the room hit his skin since Rozanov always slept with the window cracked open, regardless of the weather. Goosebumps rose along Shane's arms as he reached for the jersey again.
This time, he pulled it over his head.
The fabric looked baggier than his own. The sleeves were slightly too long and the shoulders too broad, it was a stark reminder of the size difference between them.
Then, he went to stand in the mirror.
He looked at himself, drenched in Rozanov’s jersey. The captain logo proudly on his upper peck.
His captain.
Shane’s hands came up to feel the material, it was the same as his own but so different because it belonged to Ilya.
Lips curled, he stared at himself. He realised he felt good sporting Rozanov’s number, he felt fucking hot.
Back turned, he didn’t notice the second pair of eyes watching him with nothing short of unfiltered hunger in his gaze as Shane continued to trail a hand down his chest in awe, fingers feeling the embroidered ‘C.’
‘Suits you.’ Shane’s head quickly snapped towards the voice that made him jump.
Rozanov was staring at him, jaw a little tight and eyes dark.
Shane swallowed. ‘I’m sorry. I was just-‘
He looked down at himself, swimming in Rozanov’s clothes. Shane wanted to look like this all of the time.
His gaze flickered up, Ilya was still waiting for an explanation. Shane slowly took a step forward, eyes burning with want.
‘You said you’d touch me if I was sober.’
Ilya’s resolve cracked. ‘How much have you had?’
Shane didn’t miss a beat.
‘Nothing.’ He answered honestly as he drew closer. ‘I haven’t drank the whole night.’
Ilya's expression was guarded. His eyes swept over Shane, feeling a rush from seeing him in his clothes. ‘Don’t fucking lie to me.’
Shane smiled small, the comment stung just a little, but he understood since all of his late-night visits had come with alcohol in his system. He'd spent so long hiding behind drunken behaviour that Ilya no longer expected sincerity from him sober.
‘I swear.’ Shane replied, holding onto the bottom of the jersey for comfort. ‘You can smell my breath.’
Ilya slowly inched closer, pulled in by the honesty of Shane’s words. ‘Come here.’
The air in the room seemed to thicken as Shane moved closer upon request, nerves bubbling up in his stomach until they were face to face. Rozanov was so fucking beautiful up close, so rugged and big.
So manly.
Their eyes locked, neither of them moved. It felt as though they were standing on the edge of something irreversible, both aware that if they followed through with this, there would be no going back.
This wasn’t a drunken mistake or a lapse of judgment, this was two sober people making a choice.
Ilya leaned closer, expression still frustratingly unreadable. Their foreheads met and Shane started to lean in as well, gaze chasing Ilya’s mouth.
Their lips were so close, inching closer and closer until it was nothing more than a ghost touch.
‘Breathe.’ Ilya cut in.
Shane’s eyes snapped up with a hard stare. He was already nervous enough, but Ilya just looked slightly amused at his interruption. ‘Really?’
‘Really.’ Ilya drawled back, keeping the proximity but with complete seriousness in his tone.
With an eyeroll, Shane pursed his lips and stubbornly breathed into Ilya’s face.
Ilya was met with nothing but the subtle smell of mint, his lips started to curl into that pretty grin that Shane liked so much.
‘Will you kiss me already?’ Shane said impatiently like he wasn’t grinning back himself.
Ilya chuckled, grabbing the other impossibly closer with a fistful of his jersey. He drank in the soft gasp that left Shane’s lips.
‘Fucking brat.’ He teased, watching as Shane’s eyes trailed right back towards his lips as though he was in some sort of trance. ‘Ask me nicely.’
‘Please.’ There was no hesitation, only desperation. Shane’s voice was quiet and pleading, Ilya was going to have so much fun. ‘Please, Rozanov I-‘
Ilya was on him.
Their lips collided in a searing kiss, hands flying out to touch every fucking inch of the other. Shane moaned into it, eyes closing as he let big hands take control.
With women, he usually found he had to take the lead. But Ilya was clearly the one calling the shots here.
Shane loved it.
His hands gripped Ilya’s curls as their mouths worked against each other. It was messy and frantic, they were so desperate to make up for lost time.
They melted further into it as Ilya slipped his tongue in, rough hands travelling down to grab a rough handful of Shane’s ass.
Shane pushed back into the touch which made Ilya smirk, taking control of the moment as they continued to kiss.
‘Not bad for a virgin.’ Ilya taunted, lips moving towards Shane’s neck who tilted his head to the side to welcome him in.
‘I know how to kiss you fucking asshole.’ Shane scoffed but there was no real bite behind his words, keeping Ilya close as kisses were peppered down his sensitive neck. ‘Fuck, Rozanov.’ He let out a soft moan as he found himself getting hard from just kissing.
Ilya gave his ass another rough squeeze. ‘Such pretty noises, Hollander.’
‘Shut up.’ It felt so fucking good already, Shane selfishly let his hands run along Ilya’s arms, feeling the bulging muscles.
Ilya laughed against his skin, pulling himself back as he pressed another peck to Shane’s lips who shamelessly chased it. ‘How far do you want to go?’
Shane kept his hands on Ilya’s arms as he met his gaze. ‘Fuck me.’
He watched Ilya bite the inside of his cheek, his eyes trained on Shane. ‘You’re sure?’
Instead of answering, he did something else to prove his seriousness to the other. Shane put his nerves aside, body aching to finally explore what he had denied himself for so long.
He sank to his knees.
Big brown eyes stared up at Ilya, jersey too big on his body. Ilya wanted to ruin him.
‘Can I?’ Shane was asking for permission as his head fell into Ilya’s crotch, nose brushing against the noticeable bulge in his pants.
Clearly Shane wasn’t the only one affected by this.
Ilya watched in awe as Shane continued to nuzzle into him, he let him get his fill as he brought his hand down to run through Shane’s hair in encouragement.
‘It’s all yours.’
There was a wave of possessiveness that shot through Shane’s body as his hands came out to undo the buttons of the jeans.
Ilya looked big, even through the material.
Shane cleared his throat as he started to pull down the jeans, slipping down strong built legs. Once Ilya was in his boxers, he sat back on his heels.
Ilya’s cock was pressing against the thin material, stretching out the fabric. Shane’s mouth was wet with want but he suddenly felt hesitant.
He felt intimidated.
‘I’m sorry if I’m not-‘ Shane frowned a little to himself, Ilya had a lot of partners, he didn’t have the experience to be as good as them. ‘You know, good at it.’
Ilya looked down, hand soothingly running through Shane’s hair. ‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.’
Shane shook his head, leaning into the touch as Ilya’s fingers brushed against his cheek. ‘No, I want to.’ He said with certainty, he knew what he wanted but it was just a little embarrassing. ‘I just-I don’t know what I’m doing.’
Ilya would be lying if he said he didn’t find the inexperience adorable. There was a surge of power that came over him at the reminder he was Shane’s first.
‘I’ll teach you.’
They locked eyes, reassurance suddenly thrumming through Shane’s body. He was safe here, he didn’t have to pretend.
He probably looked far too eager as he surged forwards to hook his fingers under the elastic as he pulled down Ilya’s boxers.
Ilya’s cock smacked up proudly, fully hard from the attention. Shane’s eyes widened. ‘Holy shit.’
Shane was almost salivating at the sight, Rozanov if he had to guess, was around nine-inches, thick and uncut. It was the type of dick Shane saw in porn, intimidatingly big yet so fucking perfect.
He felt this strong desire to put it in his mouth.
Ilya was holding on by a thread, watching the self-proclaimed straight man practically drool. He teased just a little as he wrapped a hand around himself, watching with a twitch of his lips as Shane leant in closer.
Shane watched as Ilya lazily stroked himself, eyes glued to the motion. His own cock continued to stir, causing him to part his legs just a little more, ass propped out.
‘Look at you.’ Ilya cooed, Shane had his lips parted already, eyes filled with want. ‘You look like a natural, Hollander.’
Heat prickled under Shane’s skin, eyes still focused on the one thing he wanted most. ‘Shut up.’ He weakly bit back, face moving further in. Ilya stopped moving his hand to accommodate, holding his cock towards Shane’s plump lips.
Shane couldn’t help himself when his tongue shyly darted out to lick the tip, collecting the pre-cum on his tongue. He rubbed his lips together after the action, savouring the almost salty taste in his mouth.
It wasn’t bad, he kind of liked it.
Watching Shane try the taste of his cum like he was exploring a new favourite food was pushing Ilya to the edge but, he restrained himself.
‘Are you ready?’ He asked gently, lips curling as Shane softly nodded his head, parted lips over the top of his cock already.
Ilya’s lips curled. ‘Open your mouth.’ His hand was on the back of Shane’s head, softly coaching him through it.
Shane’s mouth opened, eyes meeting Ilya’s to listen to the instructions. There was a feeling of nervousness but most compelling of all, excitement.
He had never felt this excited for intimacy before.
‘Very pretty.’ Hummed Ilya, eyes not leaving Shane. Then, he slowly guided Shane’s mouth onto his cock. It was only the tip at first, easing the other into it.
Cheeks dusted red, Shane accommodated the intrusion. It was a strange feeling at first but not necessarily in a bad way. There wasn’t much of a taste, but he could tell Ilya had showered recently from the hint of body wash.
Shane’s tongue curiously flicked up to try to explore more of the underside of the cock in his mouth, a light hum leaving his lips.
‘There you go.’ He heard Ilya encourage, he let the soft drawl of his voice entice him in further. The weight in his mouth was addictive, strangely calming.
Then, ever so gently Ilya started to fuck Shane’s mouth onto the tip of his cock. ‘You okay?’ He asked, Shane looked so blissed out as he managed a nod.
Ilya was mentally praising himself for having the self-control of a fucking saint. It felt like this is where Shane belonged, right between his legs, cock in mouth and swimming in his clothes.
His mouth was so inviting, plump lips wrapping perfectly around him. Ilya thought he looked a vision.
‘Good boy, Hollander.’ Shane moaned around him, the praise sinking into his body as saliva pooled under his tongue. ‘You’re doing so well.’
He liked being Ilya’s good boy.
Their eyes met, both swirling with lust. ‘Relax your throat for me.’
Shane did as he was told and tried to relax his mouth as much as possible, hands coming up to rest on Ilya’s strong thighs. Then, Ilya ever so softly started to sink him deeper.
There was a natural urge to pull away, throat tightening as his mouth was pushed further onto the length, not quite halfway but enough to be a mouthful.
Ilya seemed to notice and stopped pushing, fingers scratching his scalp soothingly. ‘Tap my thigh twice if you need me to stop.’
Shane managed another nod, but he wasn’t planning to tap out any time soon, he was many things, but he was not a quitter.
He wanted to learn.
‘Hollow out your cheeks a little more.’ The instructions were so gentle, no judgment in his tone whatsoever. Shane tried to think back to what he had seen in porn, albeit not realistic he could still understand the general gist.
He tightened his mouth around Ilya’s cock, curious tongue darting out again to trail over the underside. Gradually, his throat started to relax around the intrusion.
Ilya started to move him again, lightly drawing his own hips forward to meet the movement of Shane’s head. ‘Fuck.’ He cursed under his breath, careful not to push him too far. ‘You have such a good mouth.’
Shane moaned back, his own cock was hard and untouched against his shorts. He liked the heaviness of Ilya’s length in his mouth mixed with the gentle praises.
He had never been this turned on in his life.
Slowly, he started to rock his hips down towards the floor, desperately try to chase any sort of friction as he continued to get his mouth fucked onto Ilya’s cock.
Ilya noticed, of course he did. He couldn’t help the twitch of his lips at the pathetically adorable sight. ‘Oh, Hollander.’ He chuckled, shifting his foot to sit in-between other’s thighs. Before he knew it, Shane was rocking down against his leg desperately. ‘Is that better?’
The moan that left Shane’s lips let Ilya know it was exactly what he wanted.
On his own, Shane pushed his heard further down. There was an urge to gag that he supressed as Ilya filled his mouth, his own lips slick with spit as he tried to find his own rhythm.
The friction of Ilya’s leg on his cock was delicious, spurring him forwards as he took more in. Eyes starting to tear, he fluttered them closed with a hum.
He continued to roll his hips down against Ilya’s leg as he started to bob his head, willing himself to relax his throat as much as possible.
‘Mhm, shit.’ Ilya grunted, letting the other go at his own pace. It was sloppy, lewd noises could be heard from the amount of spit collecting in his mouth, the motion was messy and clearly inexperienced. But it was Shane. He had Shane fucking Hollander on his knees for him.
‘Good fucking boy.’ Ilya breathed, jaw clenched as he kept his hand on the back of Shane’s head. ‘Use your tongue some more.’ Shane listened so well, tongue flattening out against his cock as he worked his mouth down.
‘Fuck-‘ Ilya was losing his mind. ‘mhm, just like that, baby.’
Hips stuttering, Shane’s fingers dug into Ilya’s meaty thighs. Baby, baby, baby. His head was reeling, the name fell so effortlessly from Ilya’s lips.
He wanted to hear Ilya moan more, call him baby or his good boy again. So, Shane took more into his mouth. He couldn’t supress the gag as his squeezed shut, eyes stinging with tears with well over half-way of Ilya’s cock sitting in his mouth.
But he didn’t pull off, not even when his eyes opened and he felt a single tear slip down from his cheek, not even when his throat burned for release.
‘Easy.’ Ilya paused him, his eyes didn’t leave Shane once. As much as watching Shane Hollander choke on his cock was one of the hottest things he had seen in his life, Ilya didn’t want to push him too far on his first time.
‘Just take what you can, hm?’ Pulling back only a few inches, Shane’s throat calmed down once more around Ilya. The weight on his tongue was lulling him as he started to bob his head once more, breathing out through his nose.
‘If you hold what you can’t take, that feels good too.’ For visual affect, Ilya gently grabbed Shane’s hand from his thigh and led it towards the top of his cock. ‘Wrap your hand around what’s left-’ Shane’s fingers curled the rest of Ilya’s length that he couldn’t fit. ‘Good boy, like that.’
Shane kept his hand there as wet lips continued to take in Ilya’s cock, the praise spurring him on. ‘Now, move your hand with your mouth.’
He did as he was told as he started to work his hand around Ilya’s cock, mirroring the movement of his mouth, the length was slick with Shane’s spit that had dribbled down, creating perfect friction.
Fingers tightened ever so slightly in his hair, a sign that Ilya’s composure was slipping. ‘Good, ah, fuck- good.’ His praises were sweet like honey. ‘You’re doing so well, Hollander.’
Shane continued to rock against Ilya’s leg, cock desperately hard as he rutted down. He liked this, being on his knees for Ilya, having his mouth stuffed full. It felt so correct, nerves dissipating into nothing but lust.
Heat started to bubble in his lower stomach.
Moaning, Shane started to find a comfortable rhythm and Ilya let him get his fill. There was no pushing or correcting his technique, he just let the other enjoy himself.
Shane was more than enjoying, he was addicted. It was like the wires in his head were reconnecting or his third eye was opening because it almost seemed laughable to call himself straight when Ilya Rozanov’s cock existed.
‘We’ll teach you how to take it all eventually, hm?’ Fingers lightly scratched his scalp as Shane nodded deliriously, Ilya’s lips were curled, eyes swirling with both lust and amusement.
Shane looked gone, he was treating Ilya’s cock like it was his favourite flavoured lollipop.
Ilya thought he looked so pretty, cheeks red and mouth full.
‘Look at me.’ He said softly, Shane’s eyes looked up and locked onto Ilya, glassed over from the tears threatening to fall. He looked fucking sinful, lips red with spit. A gentle moan left his lips as he continued to grind against the leg in between his thighs.
Ilya looked so big, so broad and commanding. Shane couldn’t help himself as his free hand slipped under the other’s shirt to feel his stomach that was chiselled with muscle.
There was that wave of possession again. Ilya was his, even if it was only for tonight.
They kept eye contact as Shane continued to work his mouth down, tongue teasing the underside of Ilya’s cock with each movement. He was gradually getting the hang of it, head bobbing at a constant pace.
‘Pretty boy.’
Shane stuttered in his movements instantly.
He was so fucking hard. He continued to roll his hips as a constant pace, eyebrows furrowing together as his breathing started to grow a little erratic. Pushing his head down further onto Ilya, Shane overlooked the urge to gag and focused his attention onto Ilya’s leg.
Warmth started to spread across his entire body.
Ilya thought he was pretty. Shane knew he wasn’t a feminine man, he was strong and muscular with a body built to take hits. But right now, he felt so small. So pretty.
He started to selfishly chase that feeling between his legs, rutting his cock against Ilya. Losing his concentration, Shane’s movements became sloppy, eyes squeezing closed.
He was less sucking Ilya off and more holding him in his mouth whilst Shane humped his leg.
Spit was pooling under his tongue, covering Ilya’s cock. It was obscene. Shane was lost in pleasure, heat gradually rising until he couldn’t take it anymore.
Ilya’s cock felt so good, the weight of it was just so perfect. He wanted to stay like this all night. Mind hazy, all he could focus on was the deep heat that started to consume him and the feeling of fullness in his mouth.
Ilya watched in fucking awe as Shane’s hips started to twitch pathetically against his leg, soft whimpers sending vibrations right onto his cock, His head had practically sunk all the way down, the tip of his nose brushing against Ilya’s pelvis.
He knew exactly what had just happened and Ilya couldn’t resist the urge to bite.
‘Little virgin came in his pants.’
Shane’s cheeks were flaming red as the realisation of what he had just done sank in. His boxers felt wet with cum as he pulled off from Ilya’s cock with heavy breaths. Lips glistening with spit, Ilya watched as a line of drool dribble onto Shane’s chin.
‘I’m-‘ Fuck, he was so embarrassed. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Ilya’s lips curled into a cruel smirk as he took his thumb to smear the spit across Shane’s cheek. Even now, Shane was trying to chase his touch.
‘I’m so sorry.’ He continued to apologise, practically trembling at Ilya’s feet. ‘I haven’t-‘
‘Did that feel good?’ Ilya’s words were simple, brushing off Shane’s apology. The man at his feet was hot with humiliation.
Shane cleared his throat, mouth feeling upsettingly empty and body filled with panic. ‘I-uh, yeah.’
Two fingers beckoned for him to stand, so Shane did. On shaky legs he stood to be face to face with Ilya once more.
He could feel the wetness of the cum in his boxers, making him wince only a little.
‘That was so fucking hot.’ Ilya grinned, before Shane could even respond he was being pulled into a rough kiss, his own wet lips smashing against Ilya’s.
Shane’s hands flung out to stable himself against Ilya’s strong frame as he tried to keep up, but he found that he didn’t need to. Ilya led them both through it with practiced ease.
‘Do you still want me to fuck you?’ Ilya pulled back, lips attacking Shane’s neck now.
His hands were everywhere grabbing Shane by his waist and then his ass, he seemed almost feral with lust as he held himself back from leaving marks all over the brunette.
Shane nodded, head tilted and lips parted. He was still coming down from his first release and his cock was already stirring again. ‘Please.’
He wanted this, needed this even.
With that confirmation Ilya gave his ass one last squeeze before stepping back. ‘Pants off, keep the jersey on.’
Shane smiled to himself. ‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously.’ Ilya confirmed. He then casually pulled his shirt over his head, Shane couldn’t help but stare at his physique, so big and muscular.
Ilya had always been bigger than Shane, even though they were of similar height. Ilya dwarfed him in just sheer size.
Shane was both envious and turned on.
‘Pants, Hollander.’ He was snapped out of his daze by an impatient tone. Playfully rolling his eyes, he rid himself of his shorts and boxers in one.
He wasn’t even ashamed that he was fully hard again, the tip of his cock red and slick with his cum just peeking out from underneath the jersey.
Ilya’s lips curled as he sat back on his bed, watching.
‘Touch yourself.’ He hummed, wrapping his hand around his own cock with lazy strokes.
Shane faltered, cheeks still dusting red. He felt so exposed just stood at the end of Ilya’s bed with his cock out. ‘Rozanov-‘
‘Ah, no.’ Ilya interjected with a smirk, noticing how Shane’s eyes were already wandering down towards his cock again. ‘If you want my cock, you will listen to instructions. Yes?’
Nodding, Shane cleared his throat. He wanted it. He wanted it so bad. ‘Yes.’
‘Good boy.’ Ilya teased back, he enjoyed how the name had such a pull on the other. ‘Touch yourself for me.’
Spurred on with the desire to be good, Shane wrapped a hand around himself. He was still slightly oversensitive from having just came so his hips twitched a little. Their eyes met as Shane started to move his hand.
‘Quite impressive, aren’t you?’ Ilya cooed, referring to the size of his cock. Shane flushed more as he stroked himself. He knew he was above average, but the way Ilya was staring at it as though it was just some pretty accessory was making his head spin.
‘Shut up.’ He said back weakly.
Ilya just chuckled and laid himself back against the headboard. ‘Come here.’
Shane moved in an instant, knees hitting the soft mattress as he crawled on top of Ilya’s strong body.
‘Final chance to back out, Hollander.’ Shane leant in close at Ilya’s words, both gazes were filled with challenge.
With a little courage, Shane initiated and leant down to press a kiss to Ilya’s lips, he had never been so sure of anything in his life. ‘Fuck me.’
Clearly pleased with the answer, Ilya quickly pushed Shane’s body to lay flat against the mattress with himself on top, their lips meeting in another desperate kiss.
‘You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this.’ The words were raw and filled with honesty and Shane, he felt the same way.
They went back to kissing as Ilya’s hand blindly came out to fumble around in his bedside draw to retrieve a half empty bottle of lube. Shane’s hands were running through Ilya’s curls as he willed himself to relax against the bed.
He got more nervous as Ilya undid the cap, the noise seemed to echo throughout the room.
Shane watched with a little bit of curiousness as Ilya squirted some onto his fingers, coating the digits in the lubricant.
‘Okay.’ Ilya soothed, using his clean hand to bend Shane’s knee into place.
The nerves seemed to increase, he felt so exposed.
‘Have you ever touched yourself here?’ Ilya asked curiously, bringing his lubed finger towards the virgin hole. He didn’t push, instead he simply circled his digit around the rim.
It already felt strange to have somebody touch there, Shane then shook his head. ‘No.’ He admitted with a swallow. ‘Never.’
Ilya paused for only a second, he thought Shane had at least touched himself. ‘Okay…’ he hummed in quiet contemplation. ‘Maybe, I just touch you for today.’
‘No.’ Shane cut in sharply, he had waited long enough, and he’d be dammed if he passed this opportunity just because he was nervous. ‘I want you.’ He then breathed.
‘You don’t even know if you like it yet, Hollander.’
The words rang true, and Shane deep down knew that Ilya had a point. But he just had a feeling, something inside was telling him that if anyone was going to take his virginity, it would be Ilya Rozanov.
‘Ilya.’ They were looking at each other again, foreheads pressed. Shane didn’t even care that he sounded so desperate. ‘Please.’
He could see the cogs turning in Ilya’s head, as though he was weighing something up. ‘Okay.’ Finally, he responded, circling his finger once more. ‘You will tell me if it’s too much, yes?’
‘I promise.’ Shane replied honestly. ‘I want this.’
Having the assurance he needed, Ilya ever so slowly started to push a single finger inside, eyes not once leaving Shane.
It felt weird, that was the first thought that crossed Shane’s mind. He couldn’t help the way his body tensed at the sudden stretch of Ilya’s long finger, his breathing hitched.
‘Hollander.’ Ilya cut it as he sank his finger inside, he got maybe halfway but Shane was tight and it didn’t help that his entire body was rigid. ‘I need you to relax.’
Eyebrows furrowed, Shane attempted to relax his body, but the sensation was just so odd. ‘It’s a little hard when your finger is in my ass.’ He snapped back, not meaning for his words to come across so blunt, it was only nerves. Ilya chuckled softly, finger stilling inside.
‘You can’t take my cock if you can’t take one finger.’ Ilya teased back, giving Shane time to adjust. He started to pepper kisses down the other’s neck, in a hope that he would calm down. ‘I can make you feel so good, kotenok. If you’ll let me.’
Shane let out a breath as he tilted his neck to the side, his body slowly coming around to the intrusion. The stretch felt strange, a sensation that he had never felt before. It wasn’t necessarily in a bad way, just new.
Ilya watched as with each kiss, Shane seemed to sink further into the mattress. ‘Good boy.’ He purred, taking Shane’s earlobe into his mouth, and suckling down. He started to push further in, coming to a stop when his finger was fully inside.
With a soft whimper, Shane chased the pleasure of Ilya sucking on his ear. His body ever so slowly started to relax in the hold, no longer putting up a fight.
‘How’s that feel?’ Ilya asked softly, lips pressing a delicate kiss to Shane’s cheek. He was being so gentle, so caring.
It was nothing like the man Shane saw on the ice.
‘Weird.’ Shane replied honestly, clearing his throat. ‘But uh, fine.’
Humming in contemplation, Ilya slowly started to move his finger, causing the man beneath him to tense again but Ilya caught it. ‘Ah, no.’ He corrected, putting his forehead back onto Shane’s. ‘Look at me.’
Their eyes met, soft breaths leaving Shane’s mouth. ‘There you go.’ Ilya said gently as he pumped his finger ever so slowly into Shane. ‘Good boy, keep your eyes on me.’
The praise seemed to do the trick, Shane started to relax again against the bed. ‘So good, baby.’ Ilya continued, bringing his lips to Shane’s head as he worked a finger inside.
The moment felt so intimate, like nothing Shane had ever experienced. He had never given this much of his body to another and whilst it was scary, he couldn’t help but feel and overwhelming feeling of rightness.
He focused on the feeling, it still felt strange, but he was growing accustomed to it.
‘How are you feeling?’ Ilya asked a little breathlessly, he knew Shane was going to take some working if he was going to take his cock but luckily, he was a patient man.
‘Fine.’ Shane replied, enjoying the proximity of their faces. Ilya didn’t want just fine.
Ilya curled his finger, coaxing it into Shane with practiced ease. His lips twitched as a sharp gasp left Shane’s lips.
‘What the fuck.’ Shane breathed at sudden bleed of pleasure started to warm his body.
Ilya continued to work the single finger into that spot, causing Shane’s hips to twitch. ‘Oh.’ He moaned out, head pressed back on the pillows. ‘Rozanov, what the fuck are you doing?’
‘I’m touching you.’ Ilya smartly retorts, using his finger to tease the one spot that had Shane squirming. ‘Do you like that?’
Shane squeezed his eyes closed and nodded. ‘Ah, Yes.’
It wasn’t the same sensation as when Shane would touch himself, it was something else. The only way he could describe it was a deep pleasure that would shoot across his entire body each time Rozanov hit that one spot.
It only amplified when Ilya wrapped the free hand around his cock.
‘Oh my god.’ Shane had never felt anything like this, completely consumed by Ilya. ‘Fuck, Rozanov. That feels so fucking good.’
Ilya laughed. ‘I told you.’ He replied, enjoying how Shane began to writhe. He felt honoured that he was the first person to make Shane experience this sort of pleasure.
He continued with one for a while, drawing out the gentle moans from Shane’s lips. Once he felt as though he was comfortable with that, he teased a second against his hole.
‘Can you take another?’
Shane nodded quickly, breathing slightly laboured as Ilya started to work his hand around his cock. ‘Shit, yeah.’ He needed to feel more of whatever Ilya was doing right now.
Ilya was so careful when he eased in a second, Shane tensed but not as harshly as the first time. ‘Easy.’ He cooed, making sure to add pleasure alongside the stretch as he continued to stroke his cock. ‘You’re being so good.’
The second finger gave a feeling of fullness that Shane had never felt before. It didn’t hurt too much, only a dull ache if anything but, there was still that sensation of strangeness as Ilya pushed in.
He didn’t mind it.
Ilya started slow, gently pumping his two fingers inside. He moved his hand from Shane’s cock to slowly pull up the jersey he was wearing so his chest was exposed.
Then, Ilya leant down and attached his lips to Shane’s nipple.
‘Rozanov.’ Shane breathed out at the sudden attention to his sensitive chest, he was slightly more relaxed with the second since he knew what to expect.
‘Such pretty tits, baby.’ Ilya taunted with a smirk as he licked over the sensitive nub.
He knew Shane liked it from the way he flushed red, and hips stuttered. ‘Shut up.’ Shane weakly bit back as Ilya nosed against his chest.
Ilya continued to tease his nipples as he flexed his two fingers to stretch Shane out some more, drinking in the way the man squirmed beneath him.
Shane looked so pretty sprawled out on Ilya’s bed wearing his jersey, writhing from only two fingers. Ilya couldn’t wait to see stretched out on his cock.
‘Can’t wait to be inside you.’ Ilya shamelessly admitted as he curled his fingers, starting to pick up a pace as Shane started to ease. ‘You’re so tight, Hollander. Going to feel so fucking good on my cock.’
Shane whimpered as Ilya hit that spot again, his back arching. ‘Mhm.’ He moaned, eyes rolling back. ‘Rozanov.’
He started to work his hips down onto Ilya’s fingers, chasing that pleasure. His movements were slightly awkward, Ilya could tell he hadn’t done something like this before. It was so cute to watch.
‘Oh, you’re putting in some work now?’ Ilya teased with a grin.
‘Fuck off.’ Shane sniped back with a lazy grin of his own, it felt so good as he worked himself against Ilya’s fingers. ‘I sucked your dick.’
Ilya couldn’t resist kissing those pretty lips. ‘You did.’ He cooed back, thrusting his two fingers into Shane. ‘You were so good at it too.’ His tone was teasing. ‘Until you decided to cum on my leg.’
The humiliation that coursed through Shane was perfect, it was never something he realised he was into until this moment. From the hand wrapped around his cock, the fingers in his ass and the enigma that was Ilya Rozanov, Shane was losing it. ‘Shut-ah, up.’
Ilya’s fingers continued to tease Shane’s prostate, milking the moans from Shane. He couldn’t get enough, not when the man beneath him sounded so desperate and whiney whilst somehow still trying to snap back.
Ilya would change that.
‘Are you seriously getting close again?’ Ilya teased, he could tell from the way Shane was erratically grinding down that he was about to cum. ‘You really are a virgin.’
Shane moaned, head thrown back on the pillows. The warmth was building and building as he enjoyed the feeling of Ilya’s fingers taking him apart.
He worked his hips down, blindly chasing another orgasm. ‘Roz-‘ He whimpered, needing release.
‘I know, baby.’ He hummed back in assurance, his own cock was painfully hard as he took Shane apart with his fingers. But, he knew this wasn’t about him tonight. ‘But you’re not going to cum yet.’
Shane shook his head in protest, he needed to-
‘Don’t be a brat, Hollander.’ Ilya warned, purposefully missing the one spot that had Shane seeing stars which elicited a whine from the other. ‘I’ve been so good to you tonight, don’t make me regret it.’
Ilya was slowly testing the waters with Shane, learning his likes and dislikes. There was a bit of a thrill he felt in knowing that this was Shane’s first time learning these things too.
Shane just fell into submission so easily, so eager to follow instructions and be good. But Ilya could tell he liked the meaner side of it to, the teasing and the mocking. He could be a brat when he wanted to.
He was just perfect.
‘Will you be good for me?’ Ilya hummed, still not touching Shane in the way that he wanted. Instead, he spent that time making sure he was stretched enough as he flexed his fingers.
‘Fuck off.’ Shane snapped back, frantically trying to chase that feeling again. ‘Touch me properly.’
Ilya was sporting a cruel grin. ‘I am touching you.’ He purred back, just to make the point that he knew exactly what he was doing, he curled his fingers again into that spot that had Shane writhing.
‘Oh fuck.’ Shane breathed out, but the feeling was gone as soon as it came.
‘You are in no position to tell me what to do.’ Ilya drawled cruelly, it was easier to prep Shane when they were having some back and forth. ‘And I don’t fuck brats.’
Shane huffed out desperately. ‘I’m not-‘ He went to protest, he was right there. ‘Please.’
Ilya thought he begged so nicely.
‘No.’ He cruelly countered, stilling his hand on Shane’s cock. ‘You’re going to cum on my cock.’
He played with Shane just a little longer, enjoying how ease it was to rile up the virgin in his bed.
‘I can take it.’ Shane finally whimpered, it was like a dam had broken. He honestly thought he would cum untouched if Ilya continued to toy with him any longer. ‘Please, fuck me. I can take it.’
Ilya’s jaw tightened, self-restraint slowly slipping. ‘You’re sure?’
He knew Shane was prepped well enough, but he still felt hesitant. It was a lot of pressure to make sure this was perfect for the man beneath him.
But Shane was more than sure. Their gazes met, both swirling with a deep attraction.
‘Please, Ilya.’
‘Okay.’ There was no more time for toying, this was really happening.
Ilya wasn’t one to get nervous before sex but for some reason, he felt anxiousness swirling in his gut.
He needed this to be good.
Slowly, he pulled out his finger with a small twitch of a smile as Shane sighed out in a way that sounded like content.
At least he was relaxed for now.
‘Okay, baby.’ Ilya screwed his head on and took the reins, reaching over for the lube again and a condom from his bedside drawer. ‘We’ll go slow, okay?’
There was a pause as Shane looked at the wrapper. ‘Could we-‘ his face heated just a little. ‘Can you fuck me without one?’
Ilya’s eyes scanned over his face. ‘You’re sure?’ he asked slowly.
With a swallow, Shane nodded. ‘Yeah, I-‘ he hadn’t quite wrapped his head around dirty talk. ‘I want to feel you…like, properly.’
Ilya was losing his fucking mind. He felt like a rabid dog on a fragile leash as he nodded back and placed the condom back down.
‘Okay.’ He breathed out, staring down at Shane with nothing short of hunger. ‘You’re ready?’
Shane nodded, watching as Ilya squirted a generous amount of lube onto his cock, coating his length in the wet substance.
He was wondering how the fuck it was going to fit inside.
Ilya gently started to moving Shane’s body into place, bending his knees so he was flat on his back with his ass propped out.
Shane felt that familiar bubble of nerves at the exposure.
‘Good boy, stay like that.’ Ilya coaxed, he looked so focused it was quite cute.
For extra measure, Ilya used a little more lube on his fingers to smear against Shane’s hole, he was absolutely using far too much but he wanted to be careful.
‘Alright.’ He situated himself between Shane’s legs as he slowly guided his cock into Shane, he didn’t push, not yet. He just circled the tip around the rim. ‘You’re okay?’
‘I’m okay.’ Shane said quietly back, Ilya already felt impossibly bigger pressed up against him. ‘Could you maybe...’ he knew what he was about to say would sound pathetic. ‘Can you kiss me whilst you do it?’
His entire body was hot at the embarrassing question, but Ilya just melted against him with an assuring smile. ‘Of course.’
There was a moment of eye contact where they silently communicated that they were both okay, there was a strong understanding of trust between them.
Shane knew he was safe when Ilya leant in to connect their lips.
Ilya didn’t push right away, he started gently by working his lips in time with Shane. He wanted to kiss him forever, but he kept that thought stored away.
Once he felt Shane’s body sink deeper, he ever so slowly started to push himself inside.
Shane gasped against Ilya’s mouth, breaking the kiss as his fingers dug into the other’s shoulders.
He thought the fingers were a stretch, but this was something else entirely, it felt as though he was being impaled onto Ilya’s cock.
And that was only the tip.
‘Breathe.’ Ilya reminded as he rubbed soothing circles into Shane’s sides, their faces were close as he stilled inside.
Shane was so tight, it took everything inside Ilya not to sink in right there.
Breathing heavy, Shane couldn’t help the way his body went taught at the intrusion.
‘Hollander, I need you to stop tensing before you break my dick in half.’ Ilya couldn’t push in anymore even if he tried, not without hurting Shane due to how rigid his body was.
‘I’m fucking trying.’ Shane snapped back, willing himself to concentrate. ‘Why are you so big?’
Ilya grinned to himself as he slowly started to piston the tip into the tight heat, easing the other into it. ‘People usually say that as more of a compliment.’
‘Shut up.’ Shane sniped as he threw his head down onto the pillows, he could feel himself being stretched around Ilya.
The dull ache spread, it didn’t hurt as badly as he was expecting but there was an overwhelming feeling of pressure.
‘Okay.’ He breathed to himself, hands still holding onto Ilya for dear life. ‘Do more.’
‘How romantic.’ Ilya teased back as he pushed his face into Shane’s neck. As much as he wanted to fuck him, Shane’s comfort was his number one priority.
He continued with easing the tip in a little more and as much as it was mental torment for himself, it was working because Shane’s body was easing.
‘Good boy.’ He murmured into Shane’s neck, big hands still soothingly gripping his waist. ‘So good, Hollander.’
Shane had his neck bared as he adjusted to the strange feeling, letting the gentle praises sink in. ‘I can take more.’
Ilya’s lips curled against Shane’s skin. ‘I’m sure you can.’ He purred back, pressing a kiss to Shane’s neck. ‘But, I want to make sure you’re okay with this first.’
Whatever Ilya was doing was working because Shane started to lull.
‘Good, baby.’ The approval made Shane go hot. He wasn’t even doing anything, Ilya had complete control and yet, he felt a small sense of accomplishment.
As Shane started to relax, Ilya slowly eased more in. He was still tight, but the lube was helping.
‘There you go.’ Ilya praised, sinking maybe halfway in before stalling again. He could see that Shane has holding his breath. ‘You’re okay.’
Shane felt Ilya’s hand glide under his jersey to rest on his stomach.
‘Can you feel me here yet?’ Ilya couldn’t help but tease just a little.
‘Fuck off.’ Shane bit back weakly as fingers dug into Ilya’s shoulders, he could feel the other’s hand rub soothingly against the skin.
It was a sensation that could only be described as fullness. In a strange way, he kind of liked it.
He did stall for a second when he glanced down to see Ilya only halfway in. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he could take anymore of Ilya’s cock.
But he wasn’t a quitter, he wanted to feel this for days. A constant reminder to make up for all of the times he had tried to deny his feelings for the other man.
‘More.’ He demanded through gritted teeth, he could see how much Ilya was holding himself back.
Whilst he did appreciate his gentle nature, Shane wanted there to be a day where he could take Ilya’s full force.
‘Patience.’ Ilya tutted as he rocked himself slowly into Shane with lazy thrusts, he couldn’t help but watch as his cock disappeared into the tight looking hole, it took everything in him not to push all the way in. ‘So bossy.’
Shane started to adjust, the ache was still there but he found quite liked the feeling of having Ilya inside him.
‘Please.’ He said back with a little less bark. ‘Put it all in.’
Ilya couldn’t deny Shane even if he wanted to, but he wanted to be careful. ‘Baby-‘
‘Ilya.’ Shane breathed back with determination in his eyes. Ilya knew Shane wasn’t one to give up on a challenge, he was doing this to prove something to himself. ‘I won’t break.’
Ilya nodded back. ‘Okay.’ If Shane was sure, he was sure. ‘Just say if it’s too much, yes?’
Shane nodded also. ‘Yes.’
With a gentle kiss to Shane’s lips, Ilya started to push in again.
‘Fuck.’ He cursed to himself, Shane felt so fucking good. ‘Are you okay?’
Eyes squeezed shut, and mouth slightly parted, Shane managed a nod. ‘Keep going.’ he could feel Ilya everywhere.
His stomach curled as Ilya just kept sinking in inch after inch. ‘Shit, Rozanov. What the fuck.’ His breathing was shaky as fingers grasped onto broad shoulders.
Ilya finally stopped, fully seated and fighting every fucking urge in his body to thrust forwards.
‘Good, baby. You’ve done it.’ He started to pepper kisses all over Shane’s face and neck. ‘So good, Hollander---so perfect.’
Shane couldn’t fucking breathe, completely consumed by the feeling of Ilya.
‘Shit.’ He whimpered as he held onto the other so tightly, head resting on Ilya’s shoulder. ‘Just give me a second.’
‘Take all the time you need.’ Ilya assured, keeping Shane close.
Ilya was used to quick, rough sex. One-night stands that lead to nowhere.
This was new territory for them both.
Ilya continued to hold Shane, keeping himself still as the other adjusted. Shane was breathing heavy, fingers softly raking through Ilya’s curls as though to calm himself down.
Shane was well aware he’d be feeling this in practice tomorrow.
‘You feel so good.’ Ilya breathed, he wasn’t sure if Shane knew that he was clenching down around him.
Ilya was holding on by a thread.
‘I do?’ Shane replied curiously.
‘Yes.’ He had his response instantly, and Ilya mentally cooed at the realisation that Shane had never experienced fucking somebody before.
‘You’re so tight.’ Ilya continued as he pushed his face further into Shane’s neck. ‘Like a fuckin’ virgin.’
Shane smiled to himself, the stretch was a lot but the more he laid with Ilya the more relaxed he felt.
He found that he didn’t mind the feeling of being speared on Ilya’s cock.
‘Won’t be a virgin when I’m done.’ Ilya was getting himself riled up the more that he spoke, but he couldn’t help it, not now he was finally inside Shane. ‘I’ll ruin you for anyone else.’
Shane was getting a little excited himself. ‘Yeah?’ he shot back, fingers tightening ever so slightly into Ilya’s curls. ‘How do you plan on doing that?’
Ilya pulled back so they were face to face.
Shane thought he was so handsome.
‘I’m going to stretch you out on my cock.’ His words were so vulgar that Shane should’ve found them disgusting but he was drawn in. ‘I’ll fuck you every fucking day, Hollander. Till that pretty hole is moulded for my cock.’ Shane’s eyes on Ilya’s lips as he spoke.
‘An average dick won’t satisfy you.’ Ilya continued to taunt. Shane inhaled, intrigued.
He wanted that. He wanted his body to be perfect for Ilya and Ilya only.
‘Not that you’ll want an average dick after this.’ Ilya added with a twitch of his lips.
‘What if I fuck a girl?’ Shane shot back, eyes dark and filling with lust. Ilya’s gaze was mean as he realised that Shane could take it.
‘And do what? Think of me to get yourself hard?’
Shane went hot but his gaze didn’t waver. Somehow, Ilya saw right through him.
‘Doesn’t matter what I think about.’ Shane countered, keeping himself elusive. ‘I could still fuck one.’
Ilya laughed. ‘Oh, Hollander.’ His tone was mocking as his gaze trailed down Shane’s body, making note that the other didn’t deny his comment. ‘You’re so cute.’
Shane looked down to see Ilya gently lift up the bottom of his jersey to expose his hard cock.
‘I have a feeling that this---’ Ilya took hold of his cock as though it was some pretty toy. ‘Isn’t going inside anyone for a long, long time when I’m done.’
Shane’s hips twitched at the contact. ‘Roz-‘
‘Fuckin’ useless thing.’ Ilya sneered back, entertaining himself by giving Shane a few lazy strokes.
‘Oh.’ Shane bit back a moan as his head hit the pillow again, the attention to his cock had him reeling.
That alongside the feeling of being stuffed to the fucking brim.
Ilya continued to tease his cock, the pad of his thumb brushing over his tip with a mean grin.
‘How many times have you tried to fuck someone with this, hm?’ Ilya was relentless, months of built-up tension all because Shane refused to acknowledge his feelings.
‘Fuck off.’ Shane snapped, the attention to his dick felt so good.
Ilya’s words even more so.
‘Tell me, Hollander. I’m so curious.’ His words were mocking, drinking in the way Shane would flush red.
If there was one thing the two of them knew how to do well, it was bicker.
‘You’re such a fucking asshole.’ There was no real bite behind Shane’s words, only red cheeks and a writhing body. Ilya’s grip on his cock tightened. ‘Fuck. Fuck you.’
Ilya laughed to himself, he had Shane right where he wanted him. Completely relaxed in their petty back and forth.
‘Shall I tell you what I think?’ The question was completely rhetorical, Ilya was going to say it regardless of whether Shane interjected or not.
But Shane felt like walking into the lion’s den. ‘What do you think, Ilya?’ He replied almost sarcastically.
The situation would look ridiculous if anyone else was in the room, Ilya resting inside Shane as they continued bickering back and forth.
But there was no real malice behind their words, it was just them.
‘I think—’ He toyed with Shane’s cock just a little longer, he could see the man beneath him beginning to break. ‘That you’re going to much prefer getting fucked.’
Shane couldn’t take it anymore, not with the way Ilya was talking or how his big hand continued to tease his dick.
He needed this, desperately.
‘Shit.’ He said mostly to himself, like he knew things wouldn’t be the same for himself after this. It already wasn’t.
‘Fuck me.’ It was a simple command that held so much more. ‘Prove you’re not all talk and fuck me.’
Ilya’s lips curled up, eyes shining with lust and a chance to prove himself. ‘Oh, I’ll prove it.’
Despite asking for it, Shane wasn’t prepared when Ilya gave an experimental thrust forward. His mouth dropped open in a silent gasp as fingers tightened on Ilya’s shoulder.
‘You feel me, baby?’ Ilya purred as he slowly started to rock his hips forward, driving his cock into Shane.
Shane was so fucking tight, practically sucking Ilya back in with every thrust out. Ilya was in heaven.
‘Fuck.’ Shane’s eyebrows were pinched, eyes half-lidded as he let out a whimper. Part of him couldn’t believe this was happening, the other half couldn’t believe it had taken him this long.
The ache spread every time Ilya would push back inside but it was slowly subsiding with every slow, calculated thrust.
It was turning into something else, something he could feel pooling in his gut.
‘Rozanov-‘ He breathed out, pulling the other man down for a frantic kiss that was probably more teeth than lips.
Neither of them cared.
They were both holding onto each other for dear life, Ilya was drawing himself backwards and pushing back in with deep slow thrusts as they kissed.
Shane’s hands made their way back into Ilya’s hair, tugging lightly on the curls.
When Ilya angled his hips upwards, that’s when Shane felt it. That same feeling that he had when Ilya was using his fingers but amplified ten times more, consuming his body whole.
‘Oh my god.’ He broke away with a moan, back arching as his eyes rolled back. ‘Rozanov--Ilya’
Ilya felt both arousal and relief, hands gripping Shane’s waist. He wanted to hear Shane moan out his name again. ‘Yeah? There?’
Shane rapidly nodded as Ilya started to drive his cock into the one place that had Shane in bliss.
‘Fuck.’ Shane had his face scrunched up, mouth open. ‘There, please—oh my god, there.’
Ilya clenched his jaw as Shane clenched around him, greedily sucking his cock inside with every thrust. He couldn’t help himself as he built up a quicker pace, chasing his own pleasure inside of Shane.
‘That’s it, baby. Take my fucking cock.’ Ilya gritted, fingers digging into Shane’s sides.
Shane looked so pretty, sprawled out moaning his name, wearing his number.
Ilya felt like a fucking God.
‘Mhm---.’ Shane had never heard himself make such ridiculous noises, but he didn’t care, the pleasure was overwhelming the feeling of embarrassment. ‘Ilya.’
‘I know.’ Ilya breathed back, driving his hips forward as the sound of Ilya’s balls against Shane’s ass started to sound from around the room. ‘Such a good boy, Shane. You take it so well.’
Shane had never felt anything like this and for a moment, he was angry at himself for denying this for so long.
Big strong hands gripping him, holding him down against the bed with syrupy sweet praises dripping in his ear.
Being fucked stupid by Ilya Rozanov was his version of heaven.
‘You’re---’ Shane started to chase the feeling himself as his hips down to meet Ilya’s thrusts, a lazy grin on his face. ‘So big.’
The blissed out look on his face made Ilya smirk. ‘See? That’s how you’re supposed to say it.’
Shane didn’t even have a comeback, he just kept his eyes closed and fell deeper into the mattress, hands working their way down to Ilya’s chest to feel the hard-earned muscle.
‘Fuck—’ Ilya hummed to himself, glancing down to watch himself go into Shane. ‘Not a virgin anymore, Hollander.’ He kept pistoning his hips forwards, relishing the feeling of his cock dragging against the tight hole. ‘Probably not the way you expected to lose it, hm?’
‘Shut the--oh my god, fuck up.’ His body was moving with every thrust, working in time with Ilya’s as he arched his back off the bed. ‘This feels so good.’
Shane couldn’t fathom how he wasn’t even touching his cock and yet his entire body was alight with pleasure, it was starting to dawn on him that he could probably cum just from Ilya’s cock alone.
‘Look at me.’ Ilya had to see his face, needed to see those desperate brown eyes.
Opening his eyes, Shane felt as though he could feel Ilya in his fucking stomach. He just knew he looked a mess if Ilya’s smirk was anything to go by.
Shane looked dazed, his eyes slightly glassy, the same way they would go on the nights where he had too much to drink. His cheeks were dusted red, plump lips slightly parted.
Ilya wanted to devour him.
His thrusts were relentless, and it seemed seeing Shane’s eyes only seemed to spur Ilya on more, with one hand under Shane’s knee and the other resting on his chest, he drove his hips forward with insatiable stamina.
Shane took it with a smile.
‘Tell me you’re straight.’ Ilya gritted, balls smacking against Shane’s ass.
‘Fuck off.’ Shane bit back, Ilya didn’t look much better with a vein prominent against his forehead and a red face.
Ilya was going to get his way.
‘Tell me, Shane.’ He pushed, watching how Shane’s body rocked with each thrust. ‘Tell me how straight you are whilst you take my cock.’
‘Ah.’ Shane moaned as Ilya started to smack against him. ‘Fuck you.’
He knew he couldn’t say it, not now. Probably never again.
Ilya knew that too. ‘Fuckin’ say it, Hollander.’ He was pushing hard on purpose, perhaps letting his own feelings get in the way. The number of nights he had spent being angry at himself for pining after the ‘straight’ guy, to then suddenly have him whimpering on his cock was overwhelming.
‘I—’ Shane wasn’t going to last, the heat was bubbling inside his body as he took Ilya’s cock at full force. ‘I can’t.’ He finally admits with a whimper, head on the pillows in defeat. ‘I can’t, Ilya.’
Ilya didn’t take his eyes off of Shane as admissions started to tumble from his lips.
‘I love your cock.’ His voice didn’t even sound like his own but, he sort of liked it. ‘I love yo---it so much.’
They both caught Shane’s slip up, neither commented.
Shane still flushed red regardless. ‘Fuck.’ He had never anticipated sex to feel this good, he had only watched porn and that was always over exaggerated.
But he was starting to realise that he loved sex. He didn’t have to pretend or think about anything else as a distraction, he had everything he wanted right on top of him.
All nine-inches of the man.
It wasn’t perfect, Ilya would have to adjust him every now and then, but neither of them cared because they finally had each other.
And that in itself was perfection.
Before Shane could think, Ilya had pulled out.
‘On your stomach.’ Ilya’s voice sounded rough, his Russian accent became more prominent when he was turned on.
It was so hot.
Shane had never moved quickly in his life as he turned himself over, chest against the mattress and ass in the air.
‘Good boy.’ Ilya had to swallow at the sight, Shane’s hole glistening with lube, rim red from being stretched out on his cock. ‘Part your legs a little more.’
Ilya helped and gently pried Shane’s thighs wider. ‘So good, baby---ass a little higher for me.’
Shane wasn’t really doing much work, Ilya was moving his body around like a porcelain doll. He felt strong hands on his shoulder blades, holding him down whilst the other hand laid on his waist as he gently lifted his ass up some more.
He liked not having to think for once.
‘You look like a professional, Hollander.’ Ilya teased as he situated himself behind Shane, hand on his cock as he teased the head against Shane’s waiting hole.
Ilya didn’t miss the way the other subtly pressed back, how cute.
‘Shut up.’ Shane had one cheek on the pillow, feeling Ilya circle the head of his cock around his rim. ‘Just put it in.’
‘Where are your manners? You’re speaking to your captain.’ Ilya teased the tip of his cock into him before pulling back out with a smirk, enjoying the way Shane would clench around nothing.
‘Ilya.’ He bit back, not caring if he sounded impatient. ‘Put your dick in me.’ The teasing torturous, Shane needed to feel full again.
‘Please.’ Ilya grinned back, hand rubbing against Shane’s shoulder blades.
Shane rolled his eyes. ‘Please.’
Ilya decided to toy just a little more. ‘Please, captain.’
Putting his pride aside, Shane spoke through gritted teeth. ‘Please---’ he paused, knowing he was only playing right into Ilya’s hands but unfortunately for him the man behind him had the one thing he needed.
‘Please, captain.’ He huffed in defeat. ‘Asshole.’
‘You love it.’ Ilya grinned back as he lined himself up and sank in again, watching as Shane arched on the bed with sharp inhale.
He could tell why Shane was so popular with women, he was fucking hot.
‘Fuck.’ He gritted, mouth half covered by the pillow as his hands gripped the sheets. Shane wasn’t sure he’d ever get use to Ilya pushing inside.
It felt more intense in this position, maybe because Shane couldn’t see him.
Ilya let out a low moan himself as he fully pressed in, hands moving from Shane’s shoulder blades to take a handful of his ass instead. ‘You’re okay?’
‘M’ Okay.’ Shane murmured back, he could feel Ilya even more in this position. ‘You can move.’
Ilya started out slow again. From this angle, he had a perfect view of his cock going to Shane. He was almost in a daze as he slowly pulled back and thrusted right back in again.
‘Wish I could record you.’ He thought out loud, kneading Shane’s ass with his hands. ‘You look so fucking good on my cock.’
Shane should’ve probably told him to shut up but there was a gnawing feeling of curiosity and excitement rushing through him.
He wanted to see it too, it wasn’t fair that it was only for Ilya’s eyes.
‘Your phone is on the side.’ Shane pointed out, leaving his response open ended with silent permission.
Ilya didn’t think he heard him correctly. ‘What?’
‘Your phone is on the side.’ Shane repeats, voice a tad slurred as he enjoyed the deep thrusts of Ilya’s cock.
This was a stupid idea, they both had professional sports careers in front of them and the last thing either of them needed was a sex tape.
But the idea was just too hot to pass up.
Ilya wasted no more time as he reached over to the side to take hold of his phone. They both felt a jolt of excitement as the quiet ping of the record button could be heard.
‘Hi guys---’ Ilya grinned to himself from behind the camera, lens pointed down onto Shane’s back, highlighting the number eighty-one.
‘---Jesus Christ, this isn’t a fucking vlog.’ Shane couldn’t help but snort as he pushed his head further into the pillows. ‘Fuck me.’
Ilya let out a snort himself as he positioned the camera down to towards where his cock met Shane’s ass, slowly pushing all the way out to capture the moment it sunk back it.
‘He gets snappy when I’m not fucking him.’ Ilya continued with a shit-eating grin as Shane let out a low moan of content. ‘Is that better, Hollander?’
Putting a camera in Ilya Rozanov’s hands might be the stupidest yet best thing Shane had ever allowed.
‘Shut the fuck up.’ Shane’s face couldn’t be seen, hidden away in the pillows as Ilya continued it langued thrusts.
Ilya laughed quietly to himself as he watched from behind the screen. ‘Not a virgin anymore, everyone.’ The way he was talking as though he was live made Shane flush. ‘Took my cock so well, didn’t you baby?’
‘Ilya.’ Shane breathed back, character slowly breaking with every slow, antizoning thrust. His fingers were digging into the sheets as his hard cock laid trapped between himself and the mattress.
He didn’t know why, but something about this was turning him on so much.
‘Fucking look how he takes it.’ Ilya gripped his ass, playfully squeezing the flesh up and down. ‘My good boy, aren’t you?’
‘Yes.’ Shane didn’t hesitate. He was Ilya’s, he had been all along.
Ilya’s lips curled as he recorded his slow thrusts, heavy breathing could be heard from behind the camera. ‘He moans really pretty for me too, watch this.’
Shane had his mouth open to protest, to tell Ilya to shut up and fuck him but it was promptly cut off as Ilya angled his cock and hit his prostate dead on.
He went slack against the bed, legs suddenly feeling like jelly as he whimpered on camera. ‘Oh my god---’ That feeling was everywhere again, a warm heat consuming his body. ‘Ah—Ilya.’
‘I told you.’ Ilya purred, he started thrusting harder as Shane gripped the bed. ‘My pretty boy.’
Ilya was suddenly pressing down on his shoulder blades with one hand as he took him with force, Shane couldn’t move even if he wanted to.
It was a good job he didn’t want to, ever.
‘Perfect fucking ass.’ Ilya was losing himself in Shane, watching the way his ass would bounce with every smack of the skin. ‘Practically made to get fucked, Hollander.’
Shane just nodded, hanging onto every last word as he moaned into the pillow. He sounded pathetic, probably looked it too.
He loved it.
‘Fuck.’ His voice broke, eyebrows pinched as he started to work his hips back.
Ilya stilled inside of him, capturing the moment on camera as Shane started to fuck himself back onto his cock.
‘That’s it, take what you need.’ Ilya breathed out, letting Shane get his fill as his hand ran down his back soothingly. ‘So good, Shane.’
Shane had been reduced to nothing but pathetic noises, Ilya’s cock was pressed exactly where he wanted it as he pushed himself back, chasing the pleasure. ‘Mhm, captain.’
Ilya’s jaw ticked, eyes ablaze with lust. ‘What was that?’
Maybe he was a bit of a pillow princess because Shane needed Ilya to fuck him properly again. ‘Captain.’ He repeated, voice breathy as he worked himself backwards, indulging himself in the stretch. ‘Fuck me.’
Ilya started to meet Shane’s movements again, hand gripping the shirt of his jersey so slightly. When Shane pushed back, Ilya would come forward, deep slow thrusts that gradually turned frantic.
They started to lose themselves in each other.
The camera picked up everything, the moans, the skin slapping, the wet sound of lube as Ilya would drive his hips forward.
Both men were starting to sweat.
‘Who’s your captain, Shane?’ Ilya felt almost feral as he fucked Shane’s perky ass.
Shane had his eyes rolled back, cheek pressed to the pillow. ‘You.’ He moaned, body on fire as he let Ilya take him from behind.
‘That’s right, baby.’ Ilya meanly brought the camera all the way down to rest beside Shane’s red face.
‘Look at hockey’s golden boy taking cock.’ Shane looked blissed out, he could just about make out Ilya’s phone through his lidded eyes. ‘Smile, Hollander.’
And Shane did, he lazily smiled towards the camera. ‘Hi.’ He said playfully before stuffing his face back into the pillows almost shyly.
Ilya was smiling too.
Shane felt a hand teasingly ruffle his hair before the camera was presumably moved away from his face again.
Ilya was relentless as he drove his hips forward, camera capturing Shane’s hands gripping the bedsheet, his shirt slightly rolled up to expose the middle of his back.
‘I love fucking this ass’ Ilya wasn’t going to last, not with the noises Shane was making or the way he would clench on his cock. ‘I want it every day.’
Shane took whatever Ilya was willing to give as he moaned into the pillow. ‘It’s yours.’ He breathed back, the stimulation every time to his cock every time Shane’s body would rock against the bed was perfect.
Biting the inside of his cheek, Ilya’s strong hand forced Shane’s body into the mattress with a rough push to his shoulder blade. ‘Say it again.’ He demanded, thick cock hitting Shane’s prostate dead on each time.
‘Oh.’ Shane liked being manhandled, he was already so close to release. ‘Fuck----it’s yours.’
‘What is?’ Ilya shot back, wanting the moment documented on their home video.
Shane was too far past the point of humiliation to care. ‘My ass.’ He whimpered, arching his back more as he took Ilya’s cock like he was built for it. ‘All yours, captain.’
Ilya could see how Shane was starting to writhe down against the bed, how he would clench a little harder on his cock like he was mentally trying to push something away.
‘Does my pretty virgin need to cum?’ He teased, savouring the moment as Shane rapidly nodded against the pillows.
‘Fuck, baby.’ Ilya was right behind him with that same feeling. ‘Go on, Hollander. Cum on my cock.’
Shane’s hands were resting over his head, eyes squeezed shut as he savoured every inch of Ilya inside him. It was so perfect, thoughts turned to mush. All he could think about was Ilya.
‘Captain.’ Shane wasn’t sure, but he could’ve sworn his cheeks were wet. ‘Oh, fuck---I’m gonna cum.’
Ilya recorded the entire thing, Shane’s whines sounded so beautiful.
‘Cum for your captain, pretty.’ Ilya said almost soothingly, Shane sounded so broken it was delicious.
The camera caught everything.
‘Ilya.’ Shane started saying his name like a mantra. ‘Ilya, Ilya, Ilya.’
His entire body started to tense up as pleasure consumed him, his hips started to twitch down towards the mattress as he came, cum spurting across the sheets and between his legs as Ilya continued to take him.
Ilya had fucked a lot of people, none of them compared after hearing Shane moan his praises as though he was something to be worshipped.
‘Good boy.’ Ilya grunted, watching Shane come down from his high. ‘So good, Hollander.’ He was starting to chase his own pleasure which wasn’t far behind.
‘Oh.’ Shane whimpered, spent cock twitching at the overstimulation. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just overwhelming after such an intense release.
‘Where do you want it?’ Ilya was speaking through gritted teeth, thrusts sloppy as he continued to record himself fucking Shane’s spent ass.
Shane realised that Ilya sounded just as affected. ‘In me.’
‘You’re sure?’ He wasn’t sure if Shane would like the clean-up, not that he’d let him lift a finger after this.
But Shane nodded, and as if to encourage more, he reached his hands down and teasingly pulled apart his cheeks further for Ilya to look.
Ilya could only take so much.
He came inside Shane with a low moan, cum coating his insides as Shane’s hole milked him for every last drop. ‘Fuck, Hollander.’ Shane took it all, and what Ilya couldn’t see was Shane smiling dazed into the pillows.
His hips stuttered, balls empty as he withdrew completely. He was watching through the phone as his cum started to leak from Shane’s ass. ‘So good for me.’ Ilya murmured breathlessly.
Shane could feel the pad of Ilya’s thumb pressed against his hole again, pressing the cum back inside.
He was too tired to protest. That and the fact he wished it could stay inside.
‘Look at that.’ Ilya said in amazement, making sure the camera caught the cum trickling back out once he removed his thumb. ‘Hollanders first time getting came in.’
Shane smiled to himself as he felt Ilya’s hand soothingly run up his back.
‘Say bye to everyone, Shane.’ Ilya’s voice sounded distant, as though he was distracted by whatever he was doing from behind.
Shane’s lips curled again as he felt Ilya soothingly rub over his sore ass. ‘Bye.’ He played along, tilting his cheek to rest on the pillow.
When the phone shut off, Ilya was back on him. Lips to the back of his head, then his shoulders. ‘So good.’ He said gentler now there wasn’t a camera to perform to. ‘You did so good--- how do you feel?’
Shane’s eyes fluttered closed contently. ‘Great.’ He replied, there weren’t enough words in the English language to describe how he truly felt but he hoped it came across in his tone. ‘So fucking good.’
Ilya smiled, opting to lay beside Shane’s body so he could press his lips to the sweaty forehead. ‘I liked that a lot.’ The way Ilya said it made it sound like he wasn’t just talking about the sex.
Slowly opening to eyes to see the other, Shane smiled back. ‘Me too.’
They laid there for a moment longer, just staring at each other with stupid grins.
‘Is this the part where you freak out and run away?’ Ilya then asked, his tone was playful but there was a hint of vulnerability there too, like he was almost scared of history repeating.
Shane shook his head definitively. ‘No.’
‘No?’ Shane hated the way Ilya had to get double confirmation just to make sure.
But he had long made up his mind as he moved closer into Ilya’s body, head tilted up towards the other. ‘No---’ He confirmed with a gentle kiss to his lips. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
Ilya visibly relaxed against the headboard.
‘Not that I could---’ Shane then made light of the serious moment. ‘My ass is on fucking fire.’
That made Ilya snort as he slowly shuffled from the bed. ‘I’ll clean you up, wait there.’
Ilya left for the bathroom for only a short moment, returning with a warm face cloth that he had presumably ran under the tap.
It was intimate as he slowly positioned himself behind Shane just like last time but now, he ever so gently took the cloth to his ass to wipe away the cum.
It was soothing against his swollen rim as the gentle heat of the towel slid between his cheeks, ever so tenderly cleaning him.
After everything that had just transpired, for some reason this was the moment that cemented Shane’s feelings.
He wanted to be Ilya’s. He was tired of denying that.
‘There.’ Ilya swallowed to himself, feeling the intensity of the moment too.
There was a shift from the bed as Ilya threw the towel into his laundry basket before joining Shane again on the mattress.
Now clean, he sluggishly shifted himself to accommodate Ilya’s lap where his head rested into the junction of the other’s neck, smiling contently as big arms wrapped around him.
They sat like that for a while.
‘Ilya?’ Shane had his eyes open, fingers curiously wandering over Ilya’s pec.
Eyes contently closed, Ilya squeezed his waist. ‘Hm?’
‘I love you.’
The sentence laid in the air, Shane couldn’t take it back now. But, he didn’t want to. Regardless of whatever Ilya said next, he had to let the other know after years of pretending,
He pulled his head away to look directly at the other who already had his eyes open again. For a fleeting second, his expression was unreadable. That was until his lips curled into that playful smile.
‘I love you too.’
Their confessions hung between them, both smiling like idiots.
‘Really?’ Shane asked as he adjusted himself on Ilya’s lap. The other nodded, drawing him in impossibly closer.
‘Really.’ Ilya answered honestly back. He had never been so sure of a sentence in his life.
Shane couldn’t help himself as he leant forward to connect their lips, he had never been the best with his words, but he hoped this gesture was enough for Ilya to feel his emotions.
Ilya did as he melted into the kiss too.
The thrum of bass could still be heard downstairs, the party below still active and completely unaware of the blossoming relationship that was right over their heads.
‘I don’t want to be your secret.’ Ilya admits as they pull back, eyes holding that same vulnerability from before. ‘---I obviously won’t force you to be out but I don’t think I can love you in secret anymore.’
Anymore. This wasn’t a recent feeling for him.
Shane felt both guilt and nervousness, but he knew what his heart wanted. ‘I don’t want us to be a secret.’
With a swallow, Ilya forced a smile. ‘I wouldn’t want to push you---’
‘You’re not.’ Shane cut in, cupping Ilya’s cheeks in his hands tenderly. ‘I want this.’
Ilya melted into the touch, like a weight had just been lifted from his body. ‘I do too.’
Fingertips gently held Ilya’s face, both silently making a promise to make this work. Shane wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to come out yet, but it made things a lot easier to confront with Ilya by his side.
They would be okay. They both knew it.
The days passed, both wrapped up in not only each other but work and hockey too.
Shane wasn’t officially out yet but members on the team were slowly starting to notice how close he was getting to Ilya again, they were practically glued to the hip.
Like they were right now, sat around a table with music far too loud playing two truths and one lie.
Shane wasn’t drinking, Ilya had maybe one as they sat knee to knee on the couch.
‘Hollander, you go.’ J.J pointed him out from the group.
Shane rolled his eyes as he leant back on the couch. ‘Fine.’ He obliged as he thought of something to say.
That’s when it clicked as a smug grin appeared on his face. Ilya deserved better than being his secret, he wanted the whole world to know about his boyfriend.
And it was going to start in this room.
‘I’m in a relationship---’ Ilya’s eyes snapped to him in an instant, ‘----I had a pet dog when I was younger and…’ His lips curled, feeling the heavy attention of the man beside him.
‘…I lost my virginity to Rozanov.’
The room fell into a stunned silence and then, chaos.
‘Fuck off you two!’ Marleau laughed to himself, the rest of the room joining him in not believing. ‘Hollander, you’re supposed to make it fucking difficult.’
Hayden stayed strangely quiet from across the table.
‘Funny joke.’ J.J was laughing too next to Luca who was grinning beside him.
The team continued their teasing, letting Shane know how bad he apparently was at playing this game.
Hayden tried to speak up from the table. ‘Guys.’ Nobody was listening. Shane shot him a knowing look as he moved closer beside Ilya who looked just as amused.
‘Guys.’ He repeated louder, eyes snapping to him. ‘Hollander’s never had a dog.’
The room fell quiet, looking between both Shane and Ilya for any hint of a confirmation.
‘There’s no way’ Barret spoke up first, breaking the astonishment. ‘There is actually no way.’
Marleau shook his head too. ‘They’re just having us on, look at them.’
Shane shrugged and glanced up towards his boyfriend. ‘Do you have your phone on you?’
Ilya couldn’t believe the confidence that was radiating from Shane right now, it was fucking hot. Without another thought he reached into his pocket and passed his phone to the other.
Uncertainty rose as the team watched Shane type in Ilya’s password.
Shane continued to scroll through Ilya’s camera roll until he found what he wanted to show.
‘Would anybody like to take a second guess?’ He said teasingly as forwarded the video to about halfway before clicking play and placing it down onto the table for the team to see.
Shane just sat back into Ilya’s side in triumph since he had already watched the video one hundred times over.
‘Look at hockey’s golden boy taking cock.’ The video was sounding out from around the room and the team were watching in astonishment, jaws dropped. ‘Smile, Hollander.’
‘Hi.’ He heard his own voice coming out from the phone, he always did like this part.
‘Holy shit.’ J.J was the first to speak with a shit-eating grin on his face, looking between the phone and the couple. ‘You didn’t just lose your virginity man, you made a whole fucking sex tape.’
‘That’s why you were limping at practice the other week!’ Luca chimed in.
Once the shock died down, the reactions turned into nothing but positivity, most of them grinning in amusement.
Shane had not expected such a kind reception, but perhaps that was him overthinking all along.
Ilya was his and now the entire time knew it.
‘Roz, you’re packing, man.’ Marleau huffed out in disbelief.
Shane felt no embarrassment sharing his sex tape with his friends, Ilya didn’t either. They both looked good.
‘Stop looking at my cock, Marleau.’ Ilya teased as he wrapped his arm over Shane’s shoulder. ‘I’m a taken man now.’
In unison the team circled back towards Shane saying he was in a relationship.
‘So you two are….’ Luca asked curiously, eyes flickering between the pair with a small smile.
Shane spoke for them. ‘Together, yeah.’
Ilya couldn’t help but beam with how easily it rolled off of Shane’s tongue after so long of pining after him.
There was no more hiding or pretending, everything was being laid out so clearly.
Barret raised his beer. ‘To the happy couple.’
Shane grinned as he raised his glass of water with the rest of the team.
‘And if you ever fancy forwarding me that video….’ Barret cheekily added on in a teasing manner.
Ilya reached behind to grab a pillow before throwing it in his direction. ‘Maybe if you actually score a goal next game, you can have it.’
Laughter broke out, playful jabs being thrown left and right as Shane cuddled up beside Ilya in content.
Then, he craned his neck, so his lips were hovering over Ilya’s ear. ‘I’m wearing a plug.’
‘What?’ Ilya snapped his head so fast, the chaos around them suddenly drowning out. ‘When did you buy that?’
Shane shrugged like it wasn’t the hottest thing Ilya had ever heard. ‘The other day…’ his hand started to wander down to Ilya’s thigh. ‘Wanna cum in me and plug it in?’
The grin on Ilya’s face was obscene, Shane loved sex, he had a libido higher than Ilya who was always trying to keep up with whatever Shane wanted to try next in the bedroom.
Ilya loved it. Ilya loved him.
‘Lead the way, Hollander.’
End.