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DAY 4
“—did you know that patients undergoing hemodialysis typically require three sessions per week, each lasting approximately four hours?”
Why is he dreaming about someone whispering hemodialysis facts in his ears, is Hanbin’s first thought when he wakes up. Also, what the fuck is hemodialysis?
He quickly discovers it’s not a dream. Gunwook’s voice is at full volume in their cramped room. He's standing by his tripod, phone attached with his back facing the bunks.
Hanbin squints, trying to read the obnoxious writing on the back of his shirt. CERTIFIED KNOW-IT-ALL is what he manages to decipher. His head hurts way too much for him to try to make sense of whatever else is written on the shirt. Hanbin turns to grab his phone to check the time.
7:15 a.m. stares back at him. No wonder he has a headache. Seems like he slept four and a half hours last night–nowhere near the recommended eight hours. Oh god, he’s starting to sound like Gunwook.
Four days in the dorms with the nerd, and he's already picking up his habits.
This is hell.
“But here’s the thing–the kidneys filter around 120 to 150 quarts of blood daily,” Gunwook continues, crisp and clear. One would think he's recording some corporate training videos. But no, it's for his stupid Tiktok. “When they fail, the patient needs medical intervention. The end result? Dialysis as an artificial replacement.”
Shoving his face into his pillow, Hanbin nearly screams. Why is he so loud when he has a microphone near his mouth? Why is he doing this at 7:15?
Why does Hanbin live like this?
Hanbin lies there for a long moment, a frown on his face. He even enters a fantasy where Gunwook is the worst thing about this apartment. A fantasy where his biggest issue is waking up annoyed by kidney facts instead. Just a regular guy with regular roommate problems. Wouldn't that be nice?
But no.
Lifting his head, he glares at the ceiling of the bottom bunk—which is also the underside of Hao’s mattress—and nearly cries.
He has slept for almost five hours after struggling hard to fall asleep last night.
At least that's more than night two (four hours and twelve minutes) and night three (three hours and forty-five minutes) So technically, this is progress.
Still, Hanbin wants to die.
Sighing, he drags himself out of bed, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the frame above. When he peeks at Hao’s bed, he finds it empty with sheets rumpled and a single sock hanging off the edge. That just makes Hanbin more annoyed.
It means the asshole slept like a baby. He probably has lots of energy to study and socialize and do whatever else he does during the day, while Hanbin's body rots from the inside due to lack of sleep.
In the kitchen, the coffee maker is already gurgling. And that's where Hanbin finds him.
Hao leans against the counter in loose sweatpants and an oversized shirt that keeps slipping off one shoulder. His hair is messy, and there's literally drool on the corner of his lips, but Hanbin thinks he still belongs in a magazine. Maybe one titled Morning After Glow, or something. He's scrolling through his phone, completely relaxed for someone who has committed crimes against Hanbin’s nervous system for four consecutive nights.
“Morning,” Hao murmurs without looking up, voice rough from sleep.
“Morning,” Hanbin croaks out automatically before catching himself. Why should he greet the guy dedicating his entire life to tormenting poor Hanbin?
Huffing, he shuffles toward the coffee maker. It feels like someone keeps hitting his head with a huge hammer with how much it's pounding. Every step is a negotiation with gravity.
There’s almost no coffee left in the pot. Looks like Hao has decided to only make coffee for himself this morning, too. Of course. Hanbin lives with an actual demon.
His pink mug is steaming on the counter, with Hao leaning away from it, eyes still locked on whatever he’s watching on his phone. It doesn’t seem to be porn this time.
The evil part of Hanbin’s brain activates almost immediately. His eyes catch the jar of salt just beside the coffee maker, and he reaches for it without thinking much. Hanbin takes a pinch and adds it into Hao’s coffee.
Not sure if that will be enough, he adds another pinch after making sure Hao is still engrossed in his phone.
Hao doesn't deserve caffeine. Not after he's been robbing Hanbin of sleep for four days straight. He can go to hell. Just to be sure, he pours some more into the leftover coffee sitting in the pot.
“I'm heading out,” he says once satisfied, no longer in the mood to be in the same space as Hao. He'll just order coffee at the café downstairs.
The asshole only hums in response to Hanbin. Well, Hanbin hopes he enjoys his coffee.
He's barely passed the hallway when his phone buzzes.
Hanbin jumps, heart leaping into his throat.
Masturbator
why does my coffee taste like salt?
Oh, now he's asking. Annoyed, Hanbin starts drafting out a reply to him.
maybe you should stop interrupting my sleep every night and i'll stop salting your coffee.
Then he clicks his tongue and deletes it at the last second.
Hanbin
idk
bad beans?
Masturbator
youre so weird
He types FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I HATE YOU!!!!!! before deleting that too.
DAY 1
“Did you remember to take Ddungjjungham with you?” Hanbin’s mom yells over the phone. She has to yell, unfortunately, because some rich guy named Jackson Wang started constructing a new house right beside theirs for his parties. They’ve been dealing with so much noise pollution, but there’s little to nothing they can do.
Just because Hanbin can, he yells back. “Yes, she’s safe in my bag.”
“Sweetie, it’s not too late to come back home, you know that, right?”
There she goes again. His mom is not taking the news of him moving out well. Ever since he announced over a random family dinner 96 nights ago that he’d be moving out once a new semester started, his mom has been hoping he’d change his mind.
Sighing, Hanbin repeats the same thing he’s been saying the entire time. “Mom, I’m twenty-three. My fortune cookie said it’s time for me to be independent. We’ve talked about this. Extensively.”
“But my fortune cookie said I have to hold on to what’s dear to me.” His mom sniffs over the line. “You’ve never lived away from home before. How are you going to survive?”
It can’t be that bad. Hanbin was nervous too when he decided to take this bold step, but after spending nine hours on r/badroommates, he thinks he’s prepared to handle every horrible thing that might come his way.
A roommate who loves playing loud music? Noise-cancelling headphones.
One who never flushes the toilet after using it? Hanbin will just have to scrunch his nose and do it for him.
One who listens to true crime out loud? It’s fine. Those stories are pretty interesting, as long as they’re not right before bedtime. Even then, he will be fine–he’s got his plushies with him for a reason.
Hanbin knows he can handle everything independently, and he definitely won’t ever make a post on that subreddit like all the losers there.
“Can I call you when I'm settled in?” Hanbin says into the phone. It’s really hard balancing talking to his mom and dragging four full bags at the same time. He should’ve taken his mom’s offer to help him move in with the family van. It’s too late to change his mind now, though, as he’s nearing his new dorm already.
“Okay, sweetie. Be safe.”
Just a little bit more.
He grunts as he drags all four heavy-ass bags up to the first floor. He finds the right door easily.
Apartment 0127.
Hmm…
The numbers mean nothing to him, so he just stares at them for a couple of seconds, feeling like he’s forgetting something important, until he gets tired of thinking and pushes the door open.
The first thing–or rather, a person–he notices is a buff, shirtless guy standing in the middle of the room. He has a tattoo, too. Is he a gangster?
Shuddering, Hanbin freezes at the entrance, waiting for the guy to turn around. Fuck, did he get the worst possible roommate? A gangster who’ll probably use him as his punching bag? What if he humiliates Hanbin and makes him serve him his breakfast, kneeling down? That’s like his biggest nightmare (and also kind of a fantasy???). If this guy is going to bully him, Hanbin might have to resort to asking for help from those Reddit losers, after all. Just when he thought he could survive everything.
When his new roommate turns around, Hanbin’s shoulders drop. This guy isn’t a gangster–he’s just an overly grown nerd. Even his giant glasses can’t hide his cute face and round cheeks. Not really my type, Hanbin’s brain adds, even though literally no one asked.
That’s probably a good thing, though. Imagine falling for your roommate! That would be so messy.
Hanbin finally steps inside but immediately jumps when a head peeks out from behind the door. All he can see are boba eyes and giant ears.
“Are you our new roommate?” comes from the direction of the ears and the eyes.
“Yes, hi. Nice to meet you,” Hanbin replies, turning around properly to look at the person talking. It’s an average-looking guy in his pajamas, munching on some chips.
Despite being the one to initiate the conversation, he says nothing in return. That’s kind of rude.
Hanbin looks away to address the ex-gangster who is now organizing his stuff at lightning speed. “Hi.”
The guy barely looks up from his clothes, nodding in Hanbin’s direction as some form of acknowledgement. Maybe he’s on a speaking ban. Hanbin’s sister loves to put herself on those sometimes.
Gen Z these days, hmm.
Hanbin pulls one of his suitcases to the middle of the room and opens it, hoping to get started on organizing so he can finally rest.
“Unpacking–check!” the nerdy guy announces to the entire room. He says it like he’s in a competition or something.
Oh, he talks now? Guess his speaking ban is over. Hanbin turns back towards his luggage.
Just as he’s pulled down the zipper, a chair scrapes against the floor loudly, and the chip guy gets up. “Alright!” he says. “Time for a tour.”
Hanbin tilts his head. He’s not done yet, though. All he’s done is open the luggage! Just as he’s debating getting up to follow them, the chip guy speaks again. “I’m only going to do it once!”
So shady. Hanbin is forced to abandon his organizing to follow his two roommates.
“This is the kitchen. And that is the bathroom,” the chip guy says lazily, barely pointing in the right direction. “And that’s the common room. You already saw our bedroom.”
That’s the tour? They just stepped out into the hallway, and the rude guy didn’t even have to move from his spot. The apartment is quite small. Hanbin feels slightly claustrophobic trying to imagine sharing a space this small with two complete strangers. It’s probably going to be fine. He just gets a bit anxious with new things sometimes.
The chip guy claps his hands again. “Now, let’s do introductions. I’m Zhang Hao.”
Trying to sound brave and positive and like a totally normal person, Hanbin forces out, “I’m Sung Hanbin.”
Nailed it. None of them knows he brought a stuffed hamster for comfort with him.
“Self-introductions can be pretty daunting. It is important to include your name, age, occupation, and an interesting fact about yourself for a memorable first impression when meeting someone new,” the ex-gangster says. They both turn to look at him at the same time, blinking in confusion. Hanbin locks eyes with Hao, and it seems they’re thinking the same thing. What the fuck?
“Uh-huh,” is all Hao can manage.
They all stare at each other in silence for fifteen seconds. Hanbin knows because he counted. Unable to stand the silence any longer, Hanbin speaks up. “So. What’s your name?”
“Park Gunwook.”
Seeming unfazed, Hao pushes his bag of chips towards both of them. “Does anyone want a chip?”
Hanbin, still fixated on the size of the room, murmurs, “Is it supposed to be this small, though?”
“Nobody forced you to move here. You can leave,” Hao says, rolling his eyes.
Oh no. Is he mad at Hanbin already? Hanbin has to salvage the situation somehow.
“I can take the top bunk. I got here last,” he says as a peace offering. Everyone knows the top bunk is the worst. This will for sure make a good impression on the guy.
“No! It’s mine. I have the top. I’ve lived here for two years already.”
Well shit. That didn’t work.
“Oh.. That’s fine then… I’ll take the bottom,” Hanbin agrees. Then, to keep the conversation flowing a bit longer, he asks, “How come your other roommates moved out? Did they graduate already?”
“They just left.”
Alright then. Hao doesn’t seem to like talking. Or talking to Hanbin.
Unfortunately, Hanbin doesn’t know how to take a hint, so he continues grilling Hao. “Why do you like the top? Isn’t it a hassle to climb up and down?”
“I like the views.”
Hanbin takes a look outside the window. All he can see is the parking garage and multiple trash cans. An aspiring graffiti artist seems to have drawn two ejaculating penises on the wall. Or did Hao mean their bedroom? His eyes scan around the room. A Hatsune Miku poster on the wall next to Gunwook’s bed. Hanbin’s four bags still taking up space on the floor next to a suspiciously crusty-looking sock. A tiny shelf with multiple TXT albums and a dead house plant.
“The views,” Hanbin repeats.
“And the privacy,” Hao adds.
What privacy? Their beds are all cramped together in this tiny bedroom. Is this guy just fucking with him? Hanbin doesn’t know whether he’s just too anxious about the move that he’s lost all social skills and is bombing this conversation on his own, or Hao is being an insufferable little gremlin. It could be either. Or both. Hanbin’s head is spinning.
Somehow, Gunwook is the one to save him from his spiraling. He clears his throat once to get both Hao and Hanbin’s attention.
“Being a good roommate is very important when you want to keep the atmosphere open and lighthearted. Here's how to make sure everything goes smoothly: remember to clean up, don't make too much noise, and take others into consideration. Healthy communication is the key to accomplishing all of these. Making your roommates feel uncomfortable might result in unwanted tension in the apartment.”
You know what. Hanbin takes back his self-deprecating thoughts from a minute prior. He is not fucking anything up. Neither is rude and bitchy Hao. They are both alright in the head. But genuinely, what the hell is wrong with this guy?
Hao looks at Hanbin.
If, for some reason, Hanbin ever got a superpower, he would want it to be telepathy. Communicating with his loved ones just by sharing a look. Alas, he does not have superpowers, and his new roommate isn’t a loved one. But if he had to guess, Hao’s pleading eyes would be saying Do you understand what he’s saying, and can you answer him for me. Please. I cannot do this right now cause my social battery ran out fifteen minutes ago.
Wait. Does he have a hidden mind-reading ability, or did his brain just create the perfect replica of Hao’s voice and chose to make it extra whiny? There’s no time to dwell on that right now. He has to say something. Both Hao and Gunwook are staring at him expectantly.
“Ah, you meant…” What the hell did he mean? “You meant to ask if we should set up rules to keep all of us comfortable?” Hanbin tries.
Hao’s eyes light up. “Oh, yeah! We probably should do that. Do you have any specific habits you want us to know about?”
Gunwook speaks up first. “I create educational content on a short-form mobile video platform.”
So, he makes Tiktoks. Sure.
“Alright, cool. But don’t film me, please,” Hanbin says. “I like my privacy.”
Hao seems to agree with Hanbin. “Yeah, same. Don’t film anything in the bedroom so we can all relax and rest here.”
“Ah, yes. We all need a place for relaxation,” Gunwook says. Okay, that wasn’t too weird. Maybe he was just nervous earlier, Hanbin thinks.
But then Gunwook continues. “It’s important to note that sleep is an essential function for the human body to restore, repair, and rest during the night. Getting a good night’s rest is also vital for mental well-being. It supports memory and learning.”
Ok buddy.
“Everyone should clean up after themselves. The common areas should be kept clean,” Hao offers, ignoring the nonsense coming out of Gunwook’s mouth. Hanbin takes a pointed look at the nasty sock next to them on the floor. It has ZHANG HAO embroidered on it. Who even does that? Is it to avoid theft? If so, that is kind of impressive. Do people steal his socks often or is it to deter potential sock thieves? Maybe Hanbin should ask him one day when he stops feeling so incredibly awkward around the other student.
Hao ignores Hanbin looking at the dirty sock, too, and continues, “Morning coffee is really important to me. I need it to wake up.”
Hanbin notices Gunwook taking a deep breath. Oh lord, is he preparing some random coffee facts in his head now? Hanbin speaks up before he can get started again. “Yeah, sounds reasonable.”
Looking a bit confused by the interruption before he even got a chance to speak, all Gunwook does is shrug his shoulders. Whatever that means. Hanbin feels very uncomfortable here. Suddenly, he’s wondering why he wanted to leave his childhood home in the first place.
“Anything you wanna say, Hanbin?” Hao asks.
He’s looking at Hanbin with his lips pursed and head tilted to the side. Now that he’s actually looking at Hao properly, he notices how good his features are. Wow. He’s so pretty. Is he single? Does he like guys? The chances are pretty high, if he’s a fan of TXT. Not that Hanbin’s interested or anything, that would be totally ridiculous. Why would he like someone so judgmental?
“Uh, hello?”
Oh shit. How long did he spend thinking about Hao just now? Both Gunwook and Hao are staring at him. Hanbin can feel his entire face heat up from embarrassment. Do they think he’s a loser? Can they tell what he was thinking about just now? Does Hao find him unattractive?
The longer he takes to answer, the more confused Gunwook looks. Honestly, that is kind of insulting. Who is he to think others are weird after the shit he’s been saying? He’s the one making things awkward in the first place! Hao, on the other hand, is looking at Hanbin with one raised eyebrow. He looks judgmental. And hot. How are his eyebrows so thick and prettily shaped? He looks like he hates Hanbin.
Hanbin realizes he still hasn’t answered. What is he supposed to say? Suddenly, Hanbin’s head is completely empty. He has nothing to offer to the conversation. All he knows is he has to somehow keep his plushie collection hidden. Hao is way too cool and awesome, and he would think Hanbin is a total mama’s boy who is too–
“Ok, whatever. I have an essay to write,” Hao mutters and walks away.
Oh. Alright. Beautiful and possibly homosexual Hao thinks Hanbin is an unattractive loser who will die alone.
“Essays are an essential part of the university student experience, and sometimes they can prove to be quite challenging. For any essay, you need an introduction, the main argument divided into multiple paragraphs, and a conclusion in light of the evidence you’ve provided. There are multiple different ways to include the references you’ve used in the process. We can delve deeper into the intricacies of essay writing together.”
Hanbin stares at Gunwook. Gunwook stares at the space Hao left a minute ago.
“I don’t think he wants your help, man.”
A couple of hours later, after the sun has already set and Hanbin has finished unpacking and had an awkward dinner where he was extremely conscious of the two strangers moving around the tiny apartment, he is feeling exhausted. Looking around the bedroom, he notices Gunwook is already asleep. Good. Hanbin couldn’t listen to him for a second longer today. He can’t really see if Hao is awake in the top bunk (is that what he meant by privacy?), but the room is silent.
After brushing his teeth in the very cramped bathroom—where he could barely bend down to spit in the sink—Hanbin flops down on his bed, hoping to sleep.
It doesn't work at all. He ends up rolling all over the bed for at least two minutes before getting back up. The problem is obvious. Hanbin can't sleep without his plushies.
Placing a foot on the ground, Hanbin tries to make no sound as he moves around the room. He grabs his suitcase and opens it as quietly as he can possibly manage before digging deep inside for the plushies. He'd shoved them deep in there earlier, afraid the other two would somehow get a glimpse and make fun of him.
Target secured, Hanbin thinks with a full heart as his hands grab onto both of his plushies.
In no time, he's settled in bed, a plushie in each hand, Ddungjjungham on his right and Ditto on his left. He takes a huge whiff to calm his senses. This is amazing. They still smell just like home. It's like he can still smell his large bookshelves filled with cute little trinkets and his mini perfume collection. With the comfort of his plushies, Hanbin slowly starts to relax, and sleep creeps up on him.
Hmm, maybe he can actually do this moving-out-and-living-with-strangers thing. His other roommates must be feeling something similar to what he's feeling right now. Hanbin is not alone. It will all work out in the end, and everything—
Huh? Hanbin swears he just heard something. He tries to listen, and after a few seconds, the sound repeats itself.
Wait, what the hell is happening?
That sounds so much like—
Is one of them jerking off right now? Hanbin can clearly hear a slick sound coming from somewhere in the room. It can only come from someone stroking his dick rhythmically. Hanbin has had plenty of experiences to memorize exactly how that sounds.
But he'd never ever jerk off in a room with two strangers. Who the fuck is that? And why does he not have any decorum?
Perhaps the mystery masturbator thinks Hanbin is asleep, is his first thought. Because, of course, nobody could be that shameless. Hanbin coughs once to let the guy know he’s still awake. The slick sounds don't stop. If anything, it becomes even faster. Hanbin coughs again.
Wow, nothing.
Wait, Hanbin thinks the sounds are coming from above him. Is it Hao? Oh yeah. He can feel the bed frame shaking.
Underneath the rhythmic fapping, Hanbin’s attentive ears pick up even more. Groans, grunts, thrusts. Everything you can possibly find in gay porn.
So, he was right. Hao is gay. TXT fans are never beating the allegations.
But seriously, does this guy not own headphones? Why must he torment Hanbin at this time of night? On Hanbin’s first day here, too. Couldn’t he have waited for Hanbin to settle in first and do this on the fourteenth day or something?
Hanbin stares at Hao's bed through the bunk bed, regretting every single choice that led him here. The bed frame keeps shaking. His hand movements are getting even faster. And now there's also a low moan—definitely not from the video this time.
Oh god.
Hanbin shoves his face into Ditto. This is not happening. He isn't currently listening to his roommate—his very hot and pretty roommate—get off while he's lying right underneath him.
Not that he’d really mind being underneath– wait, what. Scratch that. This is supposed to be gross and disgusting.
He should cough again. Or stomp his foot like an angry bunny. Or maybe just die right there.
But his body refuses to move because his stupid, traitorous ears are still listening.
The slick sounds speed up and the bedframe rattles harder. Hanbin can hear the way Hao’s breathing hitches, turning uneven and desperate. Then there's a muffled sound, like Hao's biting down on something to keep quiet. But even that is not working. Just how loud will he be when he's not trying to muffle his moans?
Hanbin squeezes his eyes shut when Hao’s voice turns into strained, breathless whimpering. The bedframe gives one final, violent shudder before going completely still.
The silence that follows feels so uncomfortable. Hanbin imagines Hao peeking his head through the little gap by the bunk and catching him still wide awake. Maybe calling him a pervert for listening throughout. He holds his breath, heart pounding so fucking loud.
But nothing happens.
Above him, Hao lets out a shaky exhale. Then, there’s some rustling—maybe cleaning up, maybe pulling up his pants–Hanbin doesn't want to think about it. A few minutes later, snores replace the silence.
Of course, he goes right to sleep, while Hanbin lies there, frozen in the dark, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.
He doesn't even know why he wants to cry. Embarrassment? Mortification? Or the fact he's never been more aware of another person's existence in his entire life?
Or maybe it's because his own body is reacting in ways he refuses to acknowledge.
He presses his thighs together and silently curses Hao and the universe for giving him this kind of roommate.
Hanbin rolls onto his side, facing the wall, and closes his eyes. Sleep doesn't come. Not for a long, long time.
DAY 7
Hanbin has a plan. A plan he is very proud of. He’s been suffering in his new apartment for an entire week now. He is so exhausted, and it’s not just because of Hao’s loud, nightly masturbation sessions right above his head.
No, it’s also because he is lying to his family about everything being alright in the new place. There’s just no way he’s admitting to his mom that this new chapter in his life has been a constant failure. Besides, what would he even say? Hi mom, can I move back in? Why? Oh, it’s because my hot and gay and gorgeous and intimidating roommate has chosen to deprive me of sleep every single night. No, we aren’t having raunchy sex–he’s watching porn and jerking off whenever I’m about to fall asleep. Sure, he’s very close with his mom, but there are lines he will not cross.
So, he has a plan. He needed Gunwook’s help to make sure everything would go smoothly. Earlier, Hanbin texted his roommate.
Hanbin
hi Gunwook
im coming home later today
ill try to be really quiet when i come in so i don’t accidentally wake you guys up
speaking of… what time are you and Hao going to bed?
Gunwook
Hello, Hanbin! Thank you for reaching out. I’d be happy to help you with this!
I go to bed at 8 p.m. every night to get the optimal ten hours of sleep. But here’s the thing: for most people, this isn’t realistic. Our roommate Zhang Hao starts getting ready for bed around midnight and then heads to bed twenty minutes later once he’s done with his skincare routine. However, it is important to note that humans’–especially university students’–schedules can change daily based on unforeseen circumstances, resulting in varying bedtimes.
Your plan to enter quietly when arriving home late seems very considerate and will most definitely be appreciated by your roommates. Based on the information provided, it seems like you won’t get much sleep tonight. Remember to take it easy the next day and to stay properly hydrated while sticking to a balanced diet. A power nap in the afternoon could also help with a quick energy boost!
Is there anything else I can help you with?
Hanbin
thats all thanks
Gunwook
Happy to help! Don’t be afraid to reach out whenever you need assistance!
Hanbin is never going to reach out to him again.
Anyway, he got what he wanted. Now that he knows Hao’s bedtime, he can just stay out later and wait for him to finish before coming home. That way, Hao gets the privacy he mentioned on the first day, and Hanbin gets to sleep peacefully. It’s all perfect.
To be sure, Hanbin waits until 1:45 a.m. before he heads home from the PC bang.
The apartment is dark and quiet when Hanbin finally slips inside. Perfectly, blissfully quiet. He tries to close the front door behind him with as much gentleness as he can manage, but when the lock clicks into place, it's a bit loud. He winces at the sound and freezes in place. Luckily, the bedroom remains silent. All he can hear is breathing. Hmm, sounds like the perfect time to get some shuteye.
This morning, he took his toothbrush with him in his backpack and made sure to brush his teeth in the PC bang bathroom. He felt like a weirdo as he hid inside, hoping no high schooler would come in and catch him with foam in his mouth. Then he used face wipes to avoid having to wash his face at home. He can survive without a proper cleanse for one night.
He has been super careful about his food and drink intake all evening. Refusing to drink water or have any snacks despite how famished he was as he played his favorite games. It was torture, but he would do anything for the plan to succeed. The goal is to somehow keep his bowel movements to a minimum, but if he absolutely has to go when he gets home, he has a backup plan. He just won't flush the toilet. Blaming it all on Gunwook would be so easy. Hao would believe that in a heartbeat.
What would Gunwook even do? Maybe talk about the minimum sentence for framing someone in South Korea or something. Hanbin would just walk out before he finished speaking.
Hanbin’s heart is beating so loud from the adrenaline—the adrenaline of finally outsmarting his nemesis. He tiptoes across the room, dodging in time to avoid Gunwook’s tripod before lowering himself onto his mattress.
The frame doesn't make a sound even as Hanbin pulls the covers up over himself and lies there, flat on his back, staring into the dark.
Wow, for the first time in seven days, Hanbin won't have to go to bed hearing the slick sounds of his roommate’s dick or the tinny moans coming from amateur gay porn.
He did it.
He actually did it.
Hanbin allows himself a small, private smile in the dark, body already relaxing. Has the mattress always been this soft? He could easily fall asleep like this, holding onto his precious plushies.
But as soon as he closes his eyes, he gets a dreadful feeling that something is missing. He frowns but he's not able to put his finger on it.
What's not right?
Yeah, the room is quiet and peaceful. Just like he wanted. But there's just this… gap.
Hanbin lies there, confused, running through his typical night in his head. He lies on his bed, tries to sleep, Hao starts jerking off, finishes, and then goes to sleep, snoring loudly. That's basically it.
Wait.
Hao’s snores. Hao always snores when he’s asleep. Even the one time he took an afternoon nap, he snored like a freight train.
If Hanbin can't hear Hao’s snores right now, then—
Oh no.
The bed frame creaks above him, and then Hanbin hears the sound he’s gotten so used to. Moans and grunts coming from above him.
FUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Hanbin shoves his face into his pillow, entire body vibrating with rage and exhaustion. He stayed out until almost 2 a.m., brushed his teeth in a public bathroom, and even risked breaking out in the morning just because he sacrificed his typical double cleansing routine for those lousy face wipes..
And for what?
The slick sounds begin, and Hao's breath hitches. Hanbin presses his palms over his ears, but of course, it doesn't help.
He can always hear it. All he can do now is lie there in the dark, listening to his roommate get himself off for the seventh night in a row.
Is this what hell feels like?
DAY 9
Waking up has become the worst part of Hanbin’s days–don’t get him wrong, trying to fall asleep as he’s listening to Hao’s grunts is dreadful, too–but it feels like hell waking up exhausted every single morning. He has a pounding headache the second he opens his eyes. Memories from the night before flash to his mind.
Standing in front of the mirror, Hanbin notices the large bags under his eyes, and finally makes a decision he should have made over a week ago.
Today, Hanbin thinks to himself. Today, I will say something.
He just can't keep going this way, or he'll actually lose his mind. Maybe his life, too. He knows how bad sleep deprivation can be. Gunwook very helpfully told him everything yesterday–including how sleep deprivation can be used as a torture method–during one of his unsettling monologues after Hanbin had made an offhanded remark about feeling groggy.
Settling back on his bed, Hanbin starts tossing ideas in his brain, trying to figure out what the best strategy would be.
Okay so, the first, and the very obvious, option is to say it directly.
“Hey Hao, stop masturbating. I can hear you and your porn every single night.”
But that plan has a little problem. Saying that is a direct admission that he's been listening for nine nights. Willingly. Well, not willingly. But still. Hao is going to think he's some kind of pervert who lies awake with his ear pressed to the mattress, cataloging every moan and getting off on it. (He has been cataloging them but for different reasons.)
That would definitely not work.
The second option would be to say it casually and pretend he heard it for the first time yesterday. Bringing it up the morning after makes him seem more like an uncomfortable roommate, who just randomly happened to wake up during Hao’s activity last night, and less like a pervert. He would be addressing it in a timely manner.
“Hey, Hao. I heard you masturbating last night.”
But Hanbin would have to say the word masturbating out loud. Would jerking off be more casual? What about wanking? Beating your meat? Gooning? None of them really sound enticing, if Hanbin’s being honest. Saying those words out loud while looking into Hao’s sparkly doe eyes would definitely kill him. He feels nauseous just thinking about it.
The final option would be to take the spineless weasel approach.
“Hey Hao, did you have trouble sleeping last night? I thought I heard you awake. It was kind of hard for me to sleep too because of all the… sounds.”
No. No, that’s even worse. If he won’t specify what sounds he means, Hao might think he means snoring. Truth be told, Hanbin can somehow sleep through his roommate’s snoring. It’s honestly become a comforting sound for him—maybe because it means that Hao has finally finished and they can both sleep. Besides, Hanbin would never be mad at Hao for snoring, since it’s not something he can control.
Just thinking about Hao’s reaction to Hanbin accusing him of snoring fills him with dread. What if Hao thinks Hanbin is making fun of him and won’t accept him as he is? He’s also pretty sure Hao would get defensive and claim that he’s too pretty and perfect to snore. Then Hanbin would have to admit it wasn’t snoring he meant, and then Hao would ask what sounds Hanbin was talking about Hanbin would have to—
The bathroom door creaks open, and Hanbin jolts. He turns around immediately to see Hao step into the bedroom.
What the fuck?
Why is Hao walking into the room like he’s in some kind of commercial? Is this his normal? Hanbin has never actually seen him step out of the bathroom since he moved in. Never in a million years would he have imagined witnessing something like this.
Hao’s hair is wet—so wet that dark strands are sticking to his forehead and the nape of his neck. Hanbin can see the water droplets clinging to his collarbones as Hao bends forward to shake his head. He looks like a golden retriever after a bath, water flying everywhere, catching the morning light in tiny sparkling arcs.
It’s something Hanbin should be able to easily look away from, but his eyes just have to betray him and dart down. Hao is wearing a very short towel around his waist, milky thighs visible.
Air gets stuck in Hanbin’s airways at the sight.
Maybe it’s good Hao is too busy acting like a model filming a commercial–running a hand through his wet hair, his head tilted back and his eyes half-closed–because Hanbin can stare unabashedly. Fuck. His skin is literally glowing, plump lips slightly parted as he purses them into what Hanbin can only call a slutty look.
Say something, Hanbin’s brain screams at him. SAY SOMETHING.
Just as he’s battling internally, Hao turns and notices Hanbin standing beside their bunk bed, staring at him with what can only be described as a vacant expression.
“Hello?” Hao waves a hand in front of Hanbin’s face. “What is wrong with you?”
Hanbin blinks when Hao goes in to poke him in the eye, and his soul slowly re-enters his body.
“Hi,” he croaks.
Hao raises an eyebrow at him. “Weird start to the morning,” he murmurs and walks towards his drawer. Grabbing a shirt, he pulls it over his head, and Hanbin is both relieved and disappointed. Hanbin looks away when Hao drops his towel and replaces it with pants.
Say it, his brain commands. Say it right now.
“Hao.”
His roommate looks up from his phone. “What?”
“Hao. Um,” Hanbin tries again, unsure where exactly he’s going with this or which of his options he’s gonna use. “Zhang Hao.” Maybe the full name will help him pull the words out.
So pretty. Hao moves forward to maybe hear Hanbin better, but all Hanbin notices is how this angle makes the morning light hit his face in a way that makes his cheekbones look like they were carved by a very talented and possibly romantic sculptor.
Now, all thoughts fly from Hanbin’s mind.
“Hao hyung,” he hears himself say. Hyung? He’s never called Hao hyung before. Why the fuck did he say hyung? He doesn’t even know Hao’s age.
“Okay,” Hao clicks his tongue. “You’re being weird. What’s going on?”
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” he says, voice shaky. “About… uh. Well, you see. There was something I needed to ask you. It’s kind of… um.”
Private, his brain supplies. Yes, yes, that’s the word. It’s a private conversation. Two roommates, discussing a delicate matter, in private. He’s so glad Gunwook seems to have left already, there’s no way he could deal with his ill-timed interruptions.
“Private,” he voices out. As soon as he does, he realizes how weird it sounds. He should not have said that at all.
“Wait, no, not private private. I didn’t mean it like that. Or well, I did. I mean it’s private as in—not for other people to hear, not private as in—you know—private private—”
Hao is now glaring at him, looking all mean, like he thinks Hanbin is an absolute imbecile. So gorgeous. Hanbin doesn’t blame him. He’s kind of spiraling right now.
“I mean no. I didn’t. I’m sorry,” is all he manages at last. Maybe he should give up talking and just feed Hao sleeping pills every night from now on. Surely he wouldn't notice.
Sighing, Hao stares at him for a long moment. Slowly, his expression shifts from confused to something that looks like concern. He sets his phone down and crosses his arms.
“Do you need money?” Hao asks.
Hanbin chokes on air. “What?”
“It’s money, right? You’re too embarrassed to ask for money. It’s okay, I understand.” Hao sighs again. “It’s just—I’m very broke, just so you know. I can’t lend you anything. Why do you think I’m sharing the apartment with you guys?”
“I don’t—that’s not—” Hanbin sputters. “I wasn’t going to ask for money.” Then he throws his hands up in the air, taking a deep breath. “You know what, forget it.”
Hao shrugs and gets up. “Sorry, I couldn't help you,” he says before leaving to the kitchen, probably to make coffee and drink it all alone.
Hanbin nearly lets out a scream.
DAY 10
It’s Saturday morning, but Hanbin still couldn’t sleep in because Gunwook chose this morning as the perfect time to make another Tiktok video, even after they all agreed that the bedroom would be off-limits for filming. But hey, Hao jerks off every night right above him, so, really, what’s filming educational Tiktoks at eight in the morning? Hanbin tried to tune him out, but to no avail. Now the guy is done with his video, but Hanbin still can’t sleep.
This time it’s for a different reason.
He’s feeling very defeated and humiliated right now. Yesterday was a total mess. He couldn’t even form complete sentences in front of Hao.
Actually, it’s all Hao’s fault. His self-pity curdles into irritation as he thinks about it. He had options, strategies, and back-up plans he’d spent hours turning over in his head. But no, Hao just had to step out of the bathroom looking like a wet dream in human form, and every single one of those plans went straight out of the window.
Even hearing his subtle shuffling from above Hanbin infuriates him to no end. Pettiness soon replaces the anger and that motivates Hanbin to get up.
From where he’s standing, he can see his nemesis lying on his stomach on the top bunk, feet kicked up behind him with his ankles crossed. He looks so relaxed. Understandable, since he came three times last night. No, Hanbin wasn’t purposefully keeping count. It’s just kind of easy to notice when it’s all happening right above his head.
Smirking, Hanbin is ready to put his new plan into motion. It’s a good thing Hao is still in the room, actually. He’d better be paying rapt attention.
Hanbin spots the pencil case on Hao’s desk and meanders over to it as loudly as he can manage. His hand grabs the first item it can from inside—which happens to be Hao’s pink glitter highlighter. Definitely his favorite since he uses it a lot when studying. Great.
First, Hanbin stretches. He needs to loosen his stiff muscles after a long night of listening to his roommate make obscene noises. Using the stretching as an excuse, Hanbin peers up at Hao. He doesn’t even look up from his phone, more focused on scrolling than Hanbin’s presence.
His hair is everywhere—sticking up in the back, falling over his forehead and flattened on one side. There’s a small trail of drool dried on his chin. So obvious he’s been lying like this since he woke up.
He looks adorable.
What? No. Hanbin scowls at himself, and his hand tightens around the pen. Hao still doesn’t notice.
What was Hanbin expecting from him? He’s probably thinking about porn or jerking off. Or whatever occupies his tiny, sex-addled brain when he’s not actively terrorizing Hanbin’s sleep schedule. Honestly, what Hao is doing is kind of impressive. Hanbin never knew it would be possible for someone to have this type of weird, horny biological clock inside of them signaling it’s time to start jerking off. How does he manage to be so incredibly horny every single night, at the same exact time, too? Hanbin, who seems to be well on his way to losing his mind, can hear Gunwook’s voice in the back of his mind telling him about Hao’s genetic condition, calling it a circadian estrus period, or something equally ridiculous.
Pen secured, Hanbin walks to the wall with the shelf and Hao’s prized albums. It’s perfect. Hao will definitely see it every single morning when he climbs down from his ladder.
Nodding to himself, Hanbin makes the first tally mark right below the albums. He clears his throat loudly and glares in Hao’s direction as he does it, but Hao still doesn’t move.
On the second tally mark, Hanbin puts extra pressure on the pen. It makes a soft scritch against the wall, but it’s definitely not loud enough because Hao still doesn’t react.
Ugh! How is he supposed to be petty if he can’t even make sound effects? He huffs loudly instead—a big, dramatic exhale that echoes through the quiet room.
Then, Hanbin coughs loudly, craning his neck to see if Hao notices at all. All he does is lift a hand up to pick at his nose while he continues scrolling. He’s probably looking for a video for tonight, Hanbin bitterly thinks.
He looks like a human-shaped marshmallow that got left in the sun from this angle. He’s so pretty, it’s infuriating.
Hanbin makes the third tally mark and keeps going until he gets to nine. One for each night so far. On second thought, he also adds a tenth one for tonight in advance, because he already knows what's coming.
The wall now has ten pink, glittery tally marks on it. When Hanbin goes to return his pen, Hao yawns and rolls over onto his side. Hanbin wants to scream.
“Hanbin.”
Hanbin nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound very close to his ears. He turns around to see Gunwook standing very, very close to him. He’s wearing a bucket hat that says LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING in Comic Sans.
“How long have you been there?” Hanbin asks, afraid Gunwook was a witness to his act of killing Zhang Hao in his mind.
“Approximately forty-seven seconds.” Gunwook reaches back to grab his bag. “Your throat seems irritated.”
Oh, what is it now?
“I heard you coughing earlier. Multiple times. The human respiratory system is delicate and should be cared for properly, especially during cold and flu season, which, statistically speaking, peaks between December and February.”
He pulls out a small bag of cough drops from his bag and hands them to Hanbin.
“Methil can help soothe minor throat irritation," Gunwook adds. “However, if symptoms persist for more than seven days, you should consider consulting a medical professional. I can recommend several affordable clinics within a three-kilometer radius.”
Wait, Hanbin thinks while staring at the cough drops. He’s kinda nice, actually.
“Thanks,” Hanbin says, genuinely surprised as he takes the drops from him.
“You’re welcome.” Gunwook nods once, then walks over to the desk to open his laptop.
Hanbin unwraps a cough drop and pops it in his mouth, forgetting about Hao for a nice moment.
DAY 14
It’s been two weeks since Hanbin moved into the apartment with Gunwook and Hao. He hasn’t slept properly the entire time. Honestly, he’s not sure how much longer he can keep going. The only thing giving him strength right now is the tally on the wall. Hao will notice it soon. There’s no way he won’t, Hanbin’s sure of it.
Hao is already up, leaning on his desk as he scrolls his phone with a facemask on. Somehow, he looks beautiful and put together with a silly panda print on the mask. Hanbin’s got no idea how he manages to do that.
Wait. There’s no time to stare at his tormentor right now. Hanbin has to act while he still has a chance. Once again, he walks to Hao’s desk and goes to grab the glitter highlighter. His shoulder brushes against Hao’s, but the other still pays him no attention. Whatever.
Hanbin draws another line on the wall. Then he turns to Hao, who, to his surprise, is actually looking in Hanbin’s direction. Feeling bold, Hanbin takes a pointed look at Hao’s crotch. He’s got to understand the hidden message here.
Completely ignoring what Hanbin is doing, Hao says, “I found you the perfect part-time job. You know, for your money troubles.”
He turns his phone toward Hanbin. There’s something on the screen.
POLE DANCERS WANTED. NO NEED FOR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE.
Huh. Does Hao think Hanbin would be a good pole dancer? Does he think Hanbin could do it? Does he find Hanbin attractive? Has he noticed that Hanbin has a dancer’s body? Wait. Did he find Hanbin’s dance videos online? What if he’s been looking for information on Hanbin because he’s–
“Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why are you always just staring at me? I know I’m hot and all, but this is getting ridiculous,” Hao interrupts Hanbin’s internal monologue.
“You know I dance?” Hanbin blurts out.
“Huh?”
“You’re recommending that to me cause you know I’m a dancer? Did you see my dance covers?”
Hao looks confused. “Why would I know that? I just saw that ad and remembered you were begging me for money a few days ago.”
Hanbin starts spluttering. “I told you that wasn’t what I was–”
He doesn’t even get to finish defending himself, because Hao’s just walked out of the room, seemingly deciding he’s done with the conversation.
And he still didn’t notice the tally on the wall.
DAY 19
Against Hanbin’s will, he has started to distinguish between Hao’s sounds. He knows what sounds Hao makes when he’s going slow, teasing himself, or when he’s going faster.
Tonight is a loud night. Not loud enough for Gunwook to wake up—considering he’s lying very still in his bed—but loud by Hanbin’s standards. Hao usually tries to keep quiet by breathing harshly through his nose.
Not tonight, though. His breath hitches before lowering into this shaky little whine that seems to come from somewhere deep down his throat.
Hanbin squeezes Ddunjjungham so hard the hamster’s plastic eyes threaten to pop out.
What is he doing to himself?
The question comes unbidden, and Hanbin immediately tries to shove it back down. He doesn’t want to know. He shouldn’t want to know. Hao’s sex habits are none of his business. But the question keeps ringing in his brain annoyingly.
What exactly is he doing to make himself feel that good? Is he jerking off or fingering himself? Is it in the way he rides his fingers, or in the way he grips himself, or the way he fucks into his hand. Hanbin has never seen Hao’s dick—he’s successfully avoided looking every single time Hao’s walked around in just a towel—but now in the dark, he finds himself wondering about it.
No, he should stop imagining that. But Hanbin’s brain has never listened to him a day in his life.
He wonders if Hao would feel even better if it was someone else. Someone’s hands instead of his own. Someone’s mouth. Someone’s—
No.
Hanbin presses his thighs together under the covers and tries to think about literally anything else. His puppies, who are probably missing him back home. The laundry he shoved deep in his wardrobe and hasn’t done yet. The way Gunwook organizes the contents of the fridge in alphabetical order.
It doesn’t work.
But here’s the thing. Hanbin isn’t wondering about this because he’s interested. Not like he wants to be that someone. That would be ridiculous.
Hanbin is thinking about this for purely practical reasons.
If Hao had a fuck buddy, he wouldn’t need to masturbate so often. Someone else could take care of his needs and deal with his “high sex drive”, or whatever he’d call it if Hanbin ever worked up the courage to confront him about it.
And maybe if Hao was with another person, he would cum faster. If he came faster, Hanbin could sleep sooner.
Hanbin is thinking about everyone’s well-being here. Hao’s sexual satisfaction. Hanbin’s sleep schedule. The structural integrity of the bunk bed, which has been taking a real beating lately.
The bunk creaks just then, confirming Hanbin’s thoughts. And above him, Hao’s breathing becomes more ragged as he goes even faster.
He lets out another whimper. Fuck. He sounds like he’s crying out for something or someone.
Would he sound like that if I—
Hanbin bites down on his pillow, refusing to go down that route, his pajama pants feeling suddenly too tight.
Thinking PUPPIES MY GRANDMA TAXES MOLDY CLOTHES SNAKE CHARMERS THE PYRAMIDS THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE JUNG JAEHYUN’S ENLISTMENT DATE PLUS MATTHEWS’S BIRTHDAY EQUALS 40 261 632 is how Hanbin manages to finally fall asleep that night.
DAY 26
There’s a new plan. It will for sure work this time.
Knowing there’s no way Hao is going to stop his nightly routine, Hanbin has decided to work around it. He’s been trying to think which part of what Hao’s doing is the most annoying to him. It has to be the porn. It’s so loud it sometimes drowns out the sounds coming from his roommate’s mouth or hands. Hanbin would much rather listen to those than some strangers going at it, thank you very much.
So, Hanbin bought Hao Airpods. He ponders if he should hide the fact that they came from him and let Hao think he’s got a stalker breaking into the apartment, bringing him secret gifts. But that would be really weird. And truth be told, he doesn’t want anyone else to get the credit for his thoughtful gift. God forbid Hao thought it came from Gunwook.
Maybe he could act like a cool guy and nonchalantly drop them on Hao’s bed and not say anything. Hao might even be impressed by that. The thing is, Hanbin knows himself. He can’t act composed when he’s near the older–yes, he finally has confirmation that Hao is, in fact, his hyung. Something always happens and he starts acting like a total fool. It must be the sleep deprivation fucking with his brain.
So, that plan is also out. He does have a lot of hidden rage inside him after dealing with Hao’s demon-like antics and Gunwook’s general weirdness for almost a month already, so he could go for the petty as hell approach. He could toss them at Hao and give him a snarky remark, making the other feel embarrassed for once. The problem is that Hanbin can’t think of a sarcastic or a passive-aggressive comment. His head is just empty when it comes to Hao. Again, it’s the sleep deprivation doing its thing.
Sighing, Hanbin walks over to Hao with the case.
“I got you these,” is all he can manage.
Pretty impressive, in Hanbin’s humble opinion.
Hao looks at the headphones for a few seconds. Then he looks at Hanbin, whose heart starts racing. Wow, now the sleep deprivation is causing him heart issues! Hao needs to be stopped, for real.
“Is the strip club paying you already? Huh. You’re welcome.”
You didn’t even tell me the name of the strip club! How could I be working there?
Hanbin glares at him, wondering if it’s worth it to argue about actually not needing that job or the money.
In the end, he just shrugs and walks away, leaving the headphones on Hao’s desk.
He'll check tonight if Hao uses them.
Hao doesn’t use the Airpods.
That night, the tinny porn audio returns. Hanbin lies underneath it all, staring at the ceiling and wondering why he even bothers.
He should have known this would happen. That guy is a lost cause.
But also, why is he not using them? Does Hao not like wireless headphones? Is he an audiophile who thinks Bluetooth compression ruins the authenticity of his gay porn viewing experience? Does he want Hanbin to hear? Does he know Hanbin is awake? Is that it? Is Hao some kind of exhibitionist who gets off on the idea of his roommate listening?
Hanbin shoves that thought into a box and locks it. Then another thought replaces it almost immediately.
What is Hao even watching?
He can usually just hear the slap and the men grunting. Sometimes someone says something in a breathy voice, but the audio is too low for Hanbin to make out actual words.
What do the men look like?
Are they muscular? Lean? Older or younger? Do they have sexy tattoos like the ones on Hanbin’s chest? Are they doing it in a bed or against a wall or—
Hanbin bites his lip.
Well, there’s also the possibility that Hao watches solo boys. Just one person on the screen, putting on a show as he touches himself. Would Hao prefer someone who knows how to move their hips, arch their back, and look over their shoulder with half-lidded eyes. Hanbin tries to make the facial expression he thinks they might make before calling himself back to order.
Okay, one more thought. Are they fully naked, or perhaps dressed up somehow?
Maybe Hao would like someone a lingerie set. Or someone in a collar with furry ears and a tail?
Hanbin would probably look really sexy like that. He has been a kitty and a bunny a few times for Halloween, finding the costumes super cute. And he got a lot of compliments. Last year, he wore a fluffy white tail and a pair of ears with a little bell collar, and someone in his Instagram comments said he looked edible.
Hmm, in order to find out if that’s what Hao’s into, maybe Hanbin could subtly show Hao those pictures. Would his eyes go wide with surprise and say Hanbin’s totally his—
Stop, Hanbin hisses at himself.
After Hao’s finally finished and started snoring, Hanbin’s brain starts going a mile a minute once again. It’s just so hard for him to relax after listening to Hao for some strange reason. He wonders if he should bring this up with Gunwook and maybe ask for help. Has the other heard anything?
Thinking about it logically, he most likely hasn’t. The guy goes to bed every day at eight o’clock on the dot, just like he told Hanbin he did a few weeks ago. It’s honestly very scary, but Hanbin is trying to ignore whatever’s wrong with Gunwook for his own safety and mental well-being.
Back to the topic on hand. Hanbin can see Gunwook’s bed perfectly from his own bed, so he knows his roommate’s bedtime routine extremely well at this point. He lies on his back, completely unmoving, for the entire night. His too-long legs hang off the mattress, but that doesn’t seem to bother him one bit. It seems a bit like a robot being turned off for the night. What if Hanbin is actually roommates with a robot? That wouldn’t surprise him at all.
Knowing that Gunwook sleeps like a log through the entire night most likely means that he has no idea of the horrors being committed just a few meters away from him. So yeah, what would Hanbin even say to him? Hey, Gunwook, I know you have no idea what’s going on but our mean and hot roommate Zhang Hao is actually jacking off right next to us every single night.
The guy is always so proper he would probably be scandalized hearing all that. Hanbin is actually doing him a favor by not putting him in such an awkward position.
After that thought Hanbin starts spiraling, as he very often does. What if, after finding out the truth from Hanbin, Gunwook does what Gunwook does best and starts giving Hao pointers? Would he want to coach Hao to reach even better orgasms?
Did you know that the average male orgasm lasts approximately ten to fifteen seconds? Proper breathing techniques can enhance the sensation by up to thirty percent.
What if Hao agrees to Gunwook’s advances and they start practicing together? Hanbin is getting agitated just thinking about that possibility. Would Gunwook give Hao a prostate massage? Or would Hao be the one to finger– SUNG HANBIN. STOP.
Hanbin’s not getting mad because he’s jealous, that would be insane! No, he just means he would then have two roommates jacking off in the bedroom.
He shudders at the thought.
Hanbin gets two hours of sleep that night.
DAY 30
Hanbin escapes to his parents’ house for the weekend.
He tells himself it’s because his mom missed him. Which is true. She cried on the phone when he told her he was coming. She started prepping his old room and airing out the plushies during the phone call.
But the real reason is that he hasn’t slept more than four hours a night in thirty days. His body is shutting down. His left eye has literally been twitching for three days straight. He forgot his own phone number yesterday when someone hot asked him for it. The guy ended up looking at Hanbin weirdly and walking away. He’s never going to get a boyfriend if this continues.
When he got home, he had to ask Gunwook to show him his phone number on his phone. Which was quite humiliating because Gunwook recited it back to him, along with a fun fact about how the average person forgets three things per day.
Hanbin needs sleep, so he goes home.
That evening at dinner, he feels so utterly relaxed. Even as his mom keeps adding food on his plate and his sister keeps stepping on his toes under the table, he doesn’t complain because he knows he’s going to fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.
And when he climbs into his childhood bed and stares up into star-shaped fairy lights instead of the underside of Hao’s bed, he feels at peace.
Hanbin pulls the covers up to his chin and closes his eyes.
The room is so quiet, he’s sure sleep will come soon enough.
But it doesn’t.
Hanbin lies there for almost two hours. His body is obviously exhausted, but his brain just can’t get rid of the eerie feeling that something’s missing.
He keeps shuffling from side to side on his bed. At some point, he even places his legs against the wall and lets his head dangle from the edge of the bed, hoping this position will be comfortable enough.
It isn’t. Nothing feels comfortable here. Because there’s no familiar creak of the bunk bed, no soft rustle of sheets from above, no hard breathing or moaning.
There’s no reason for him to hear any of it. Hao is thirty kilometers away, in their apartment, probably on his phone or asleep or doing something else entirely. Hanbin shouldn’t want to listen to him. But his ears just keep straining, searching for a sound that isn’t there.
What is Hao actually doing right now?
What if Hao is lonely? What if he misses Hanbin because he needs Hanbin?
Why would he need Hanbin? To jerk off above Hanbin’s head like he does every single night? That doesn’t even make any sense.
But still. Hanbin wonders if Hao has noticed he’s gone.
Maybe Hanbin should call him. But what would he even say?
Hi Hao, I miss you. Are you jerking off right now?
No. Absolutely not.
Hi Hao, just checking in. How was your day? Also, out of curiosity, are your hands currently occupied?
Worse.
Hi Hao, I think I left my phone charger at the apartment. Can you check for me? And while you’re looking, I’ll listen in super closely so I can try to see if you’re out of breath. Not because you’re searching for the charger, of course, but because it would mean you were in the middle of masturbating.
Hanbin lets out a silent scream in the dark. This is Hao’s fault.
All of it is his fault. Hanbin was a normal person before he moved into that apartment. A normal person with normal sleep habits. He most definitely wasn’t a pervert who cared whether or not someone had jerked off.
Hanbin opens his messages with Hao. He types FUCK YOU ZHANG HAO before deleting it.
DAY 33
Hanbin has once again decided to do something to fix the giant mess that is his sleeping situation.
Instead of acting like the adult he is, he has decided to try to bring up the topic with Gunwook, just to see if maybe he too is suffering because of Hao.
And by trying he means being as vague as possible and hoping that Gunwook will be smart and catch on without Hanbin ever having to say the words chronic masturbator out loud. He figures that if he teams up with his roommate, they could hopefully hold an intervention and stop this madness for once and for all.
“Uh. Gunwook. Hi. Good to see you.”
God damn it. How is he already fumbling this! Why would he say good to see you to someone he lives with?
Gunwook doesn’t seem bothered by him acting like a total loser. “Good afternoon, Hanbin hyung. How may I assist you today?”
“Well, I guess I did wanna talk about something. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed. It’s about me living here. With Hao. And you, of course. I live with the two of you. Not that I have an issue with you. Or Hao. I mean…” Hanbin has to take a pause to take a deep breath. Why is he so nervous talking to Gunwook, the weirdest person he’s ever met? “It’s just that I’ve been struggling here. I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I have a hard time living here. For reasons.”
He takes another giant gulp of air. It’s now or never. He will tell Gunwook it’s about Hao, and Gunwook, the smart guy that he is, will be able to connect the dots.
Gunwook starts speaking before Hanbin gets the chance to. “Here’s an empathetic response based on the prompt on how to help a homesick roommate.”
What the fuck?
“I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. Living on your own for the first time can be a big challenge. Even though you are enjoying your newfound freedom from your parents, you are also going to realize you don’t have your friends and family physically with you anymore. Remember that you aren’t alone with this feeling–nearly all young adults will feel homesick at some point in their university journey.”
Not totally sure whether or not he should tell Gunwook his issue isn’t homesickness, but Hao’s constant jerking off and suddenly becoming addicted to it, Hanbin decides to listen. This could be entertaining.
“Here’s a list of different methods of alleviating homesickness: Making your new home feel like home. That could mean displaying nostalgic pictures or familiar objects in your room or around the apartment. Being away from the people you know and love can make you feel lonely, which means finding a support network could prove to be crucial in settling into your new life. Joining different communities or starting new hobbies could be an easier way of finding like-minded people. You might still feel homesick despite taking all these important steps, so visiting home or calling your friends and family to get their support can help with these stressful first months. Remember to take care of yourself while you enjoy college life and explore what this new phase in life has to offer.”
Hanbin feels like he’s going to explode. Yeah, sure, listening to Gunwook ramble is fun for a while, but he really wanted to talk about Hao ruining his entire life. Why couldn’t Hanbin just get normal, relatable roommates? How about even one normal roommate? What the hell did he do in a previous life to be stuck with these two?
Despite normally being a very considerate person, sleep deprivation has been doing a number on Hanbin. Without thinking, he blurts out, “Can’t you talk like a normal guy for once? I’m sick and tired of you talking like a middle-aged professor all day.”
Gunwook doesn’t look put out by Hanbin’s outburst. “How would you like me to talk, then?”
“I don’t know, aren’t you Gen Z or something?”
“aight unc dis good enough 4 u” Gunwook asks swaggily. Then he does something strange; he raises his fist toward Hanbin, looking like he’s expecting something.
Hanbin is too gay for this. What is he supposed to do here?
He ends up running to class three hours early.
DAY 34
Hanbin wakes up feeling like he’s going to burst. He never peed last night, because Hao spent way too long doing whatever it was he was doing. There was a lot of squelching and moaning.
There is no time left to wallow in his misery this morning, so Hanbin leaps up from the bed. In his rush to the toilet, he doesn’t notice the wet sock on the floor. Naturally, he steps on it, slides on the floor for a second, and then promptly loses his balance, landing on the floor with a smack.
God damn. What is Hao’s wet, embroidered sock doing on the floor?
“-103037281020 aura”
Turning his head toward the voice, Hanbin notices Gunwook, who has apparently been witness to his humiliation. His roommate is still in his own bed, in the same unnatural position he’s always in, long legs dangling in the air.
Hanbin does what Hanbin does best. He ignores everything that is happening around him and bolts to the bathroom.
DAY 35
It’s day thirty-five. Business as usual. Hanbin doesn’t even remember what being properly rested feels like anymore. He’s almost used to his new normal, considering giving up on sleep completely.
All three of them eat breakfast at the same time in the kitchen for the first time since living together. Hanbin is still half asleep and hasn't even started eating the two-day-old rice Hao so kindly scraped for him from the bottom of the rice cooker. Hao himself is sipping on his coffee from his pink mug, no added salt this time. Gunwook is already done with his power bowl (whatever the fuck that means).
“wake up cuz ure gna miss the bus”
Hao looks up from his coffee. His eyes are wide and scared. He’s not saying anything, he’s just sitting there completely still, staring at Gunwook.
Getting no response from either of them–as is the norm around the apartment, Gunwook goes to wash his dishes.
“What the hell was that?” Hao hisses to Hanbin. “Did he hit his head? Why is he talking in lowercase? Where did the punctuation go?”
“Uh, I think it's my fault. I said he should talk normally,” Hanbin mutters.
“You call that normal? How do we turn him back?”
“How would I know?” Hanbin asks, frustrated. He didn’t know his simple request would make Gunwook even more insufferable. He grumbles, “Why do I have to do everything around here?”
Hao sighs and gets up. “Gunwook. Reset. Talk like you did before. This is scaring me.”
Gunwook blinks once before smiling at Hao. “Certainly, Hao! Fear is a vital response to feeling threatened, either physically, emotionally, or psychologically. The threat can be real or imagined. Even though the feeling is connected to dangerous situations, it can also happen in non life-threatening situations. The physical symptoms attached to fear include, but aren’t limited to, accelerated heart rate, hyperventilation, and increased muscle tension.”
Hanbin tunes them out and tries to drown himself in his coffee. So what if he misses the bus?
Hanbin is in bed, hugging Ddungjjungham and Ditto and wondering if he'll ever feel joy again when Hao starts his usual business.
Well, maybe not his usual.
The bed is shaking so violently that Hanbin can see the mattress above him bouncing. Hao's hips seem to be slamming into something.
Wait, is he humping the mattress right now? Or is it his pillow? Which would be more comfortable to rut against?
Scratch that, Hanbin doesn't even care. Why would he? What his pervert roommate does is none of his concern.
There’s nothing to do here besides hope this new masturbation technique is giving Hao enough pleasure to come as soon as possible, so they can both finally sleep.
At some point, the bedframe rattles so hard that Hanbin’s own mattress shakes. What the fuck is he doing?
Even if Hanbin was somehow asleep during Hao’s nightly routine, this would surely wake him up.
Hanbin clicks his tongue as silently as he can and glares at the underside of Hao’s bunk, watching the slats vibrate. Just then some dust—probably decades-old mattress debris—falls down onto his face. He almost gets out of bed to yell at his inconsiderate roommate.
If he keeps going at this intense speed, he might end up poking a hole in the mattress.
What if Hao's—uhm, dick? cock? manhood?—goes through the mattress? Hanbin is sleeping directly underneath him so he probably would get to–no, would be forced to–see his roommate’s… uh… peanits.
It would dangle up there above his face and it would definitely be a point of no return.
Would Hao fuck the hole? Would he push his—
Hanbin needs to stop thinking about it. But it's so hard when he can practically visualise it.
A small tear in the mattress, barely noticeable at first. Then Hao’s hips start moving, and the tear gets bigger and bigger, and suddenly there's something poking through. Hanbin will just lay there, frozen, watching it get closer and closer to his—
Would it jingle all over his face?
Maybe Hao's dick has a tiny bell, like the ones on the collars of outdoor cats that jingle every time they move. It's Hanbin’s imagination, anything can happen.
Somehow, the fantasy takes a wilder turn. The hole in the mattress grows even bigger, Hao's hips keep moving and suddenly he falls through the hole and lands on Hanbin’s bed, making him gasp in shock.
But because he's so fucking horny, he sees Hanbin’s mouth and thinks of it as a hole too.
Hao propping himself up on either side of Hanbin’s face, hands gripping Hanbin’s hair as he presses his cock into Hanbin’s mouth. The sounds Hao would probably make, the way his gay ass eyebrows would scrunch together, the little whimper he'd let out right before he—
Wait.
That's so fucking disgusting. Hanbin is not turned on by this nightmare scenario he accidentally came up with. He's not imagining what Hao's dick would taste like or how his hips would feel or whether he’d be gentle or rough or—
This is just what sleep deprivation does to a man.
This is what thirty-five nights of listening to your hot roommate get himself off does to a perfectly normal, gay, single guy who just wanted to move out and be independent and live a normal life.
Above him, Hao lets out a choked gasp as the bedframe gives one final, violent shudder.
The room quiets down, Hanbin’s heartbeat being the loudest thing he can hear.
DAY 41
Something strange is happening.
Tonight, instead of the usual manly moans and grunsts—or the deep, breathy sounds that Hanbin has unfortunately memorized—he hears music.
Hanbin scrunches his nose when the tune gets familiar. He strains his ears, not quite believing what he's hearing. Is that…?
What is Love by TWICE.
Oh it is. It definitely is. Hanbin once spent three weeks listening to it on repeat as he learnt the dance before posting his cover on YouTube. He knows the tune by heart now.
But why is Hao playing it? Is he not going to jerk off tonight? Is he just… listening to music? Like a normal person? Is Hanbin finally going to get a full night of sleep?
No.
Like on cue, Hanbin hears the familiar sound of sheets shifting and the soft, barely-there sound of skin on skin. He's still doing it.
He's jerking off. To TWICE.
Should Hanbin call the police? This feels illegal.
Hanbin’s brain grinds to a halt as he processes it. Why the fuck would Hao do this to TWICE? Hanbin didn't even know Hao was into women.
He assumed—well, he assumed based on the gay porn and the way Hao zooms in on guys’ Instagram photos when he's sitting on his desk and the vibes—that Hao was exclusively into guys.
But now he’s touching himself to nine women singing about wanting love.
Is Hao bi? Or maybe he's straight but just really comfortable with gay porn?
He could be questioning or experimenting. Fuck. Hanbin is a terrible person for assuming someone's sexuality based on circumstantial evidence and a gut feeling.
But also, if Hao was straight, then Hao would never be into—
No, Hanbin doesn't care. Why would he want Hao to find him attractive?
It doesn’t seem like he’s just streaming or watching the music video, since Hanbin can hear faint footsteps, like it’s a dance practice instead. Maybe he can see their bodies better this way.
Above him, the song hits the last chorus and Hao's breathing speeds up.
Hanbin wants to scream. He didn't even know it was possible to jerk off to this song.
Maybe Hanbin should show him the dance cover he did for it. He wore a cute outfit too—a cropped sweater with high-waisted pants. He had a little bit of tummy showing when he raised his arms.
The song is nearing the end, and as soon as the last I wanna know plays, Hao lets out a drawn-out whimper.
Wow, perfect timing.
Hao came in under four minutes. That's faster than his usual.
Not that Hanbin’s ever timed it.
DAY 45
Hanbin does what he said he would never do—he writes a post on Reddit asking for help.
For forty-five days, he has suffered in silence. Mainly because he refused to become one of those losers complaining about the most ridiculous things on r/badroommates, but he really thought he was better than that.
He is not better than that.
Still, Hanbin won’t post on that subreddit. Those people are miserable and dramatic and probably exaggerated everything for attention. Hanbin is none of those things. He is simply a sleep-deprived university student with a problem he can't solve alone.
So, he chooses neutral territory. His university’s subreddit. Surely his peers will understand and offer him practical, helpful advice. Nobody will make fun of him. The rules on the sub say serious discussion only.
He creates a throwaway account to make sure no one will know it’s him.
r/ZBU
u/bottombunkervictim
How to stop my roommate from constantly jacking off
I recently moved into an apartment with two other guys. The roommate in the bunk above me will not stop whacking off. I guess he doesn't realize I'm a light sleeper and I can literally feel the entire bedframe creaking around for 10 minutes every night, and the little tinny gay porn audio from his phone speaker (he seems to think that if he has it on the lowest volume we won't be able to hear). Idk how he cleans up after himself, I’ve been too scared to look at his bed.
This happens every single day, and I've been tallying it on the wall with a glitter highlighter that I stole from his pencil case. I was hoping he'd notice the tally marks and it would be a subtle reminder for him, but I don't think he has. I guess he just walks around in a raging concupiscent fog all day.
I can't really tell the 3rd guy since he's a weirdo educational Tiktoker and the way he talks creeps me out. It's like talking to chatgpt and I have no clue what he would say if I broached the subject of masturbation. Also bringing it up now would be weird since it'd imply I was happily tolerating the nightly thrashing above my bed for well over a month. And the moaning and grunting and mattress humping and the sex toys. So I really need someone to tell me how to get this across. I've been trying to come back home at different times to avoid listening to him but he seems to have some sort of circadian estrus period where he can only jack off after l've gotten settled in to sleep. Please just help me.
Hanbin forgets about the post for a while, choosing to get some of his assignments done.
By the time he remembers to check the post in the evening, he sees way too many comments.
Eumppappa 6h
What the fuck +7021
Hanbin stares at the screen. Seven thousand people agree with this sentiment. Seven thousand people think his life is worthy of a "what the fuck.”
JeongJaehyun 1h
Wear earplugs you idiot +127
Hanbin scowls. What a rude way to talk to someone suffering greatly. Yeah, maybe Hanbin hasn’t actually tried earplugs, and that is a pretty good idea, but now he won’t try them out of spite. Besides, this person knows nothing about his life. Hanbin literally shoved his face into a pillow and almost suffocated once.
tonguemaster 6h
This has to be fake. The way its written has way too much detail. If you really found it gross you wouldnt know all these weird details like what his sighs and moans look like. Or a list of the toys he uses. If this was real you would have gone to sleep in a different room or moved out. The fact that youve been listening to him jerk off for over a month makes YOU the perv here +594
What in the victim-blaming is this? This person is horrible. Hanbin is the one who can't sleep and the one who got traumatised by everything. The one who has developed a deeply unwanted awareness of all these so-called details. He never wanted this. And now he's being called a perv? Why should he be the one to move out? Hao should move out instead. Hmmph.
rickyshenofficial 5h
maybe you should fuck. please film it +13
Hanbin chokes on his own spit and his entire face turns red. His neck and chest burn at the same time. He's pretty sure he's experiencing some kind of spontaneous combustion so he scrolls past that one very quickly.
Sufferinginsilence 3h
oh my god thats my ex roommate LMAO GOOD LUCK +1
Wait, someone out there knows Hao? Maybe this is his savior finally. Hanbin quickly clicks on their username, hoping to find some sort of social media to contact them. But it has no posts or bio. It's just a profile picture of a cat wearing a tiny hat. Fuck. He's alone in this.
DancingRosins 2h
have you tried giving him a helping hand? +69
Oh. Finally, a considerable solution. Maybe this person is right. There would be no mess in Hao’s hands if Hanbin helped him. Or better yet, there would be no mess in anyone’s hands if Hanbin offered to use his mou—
Alright, that's enough Reddit for today.
DAY 49
Hanbin is on his bed, pretending to study while secretly watching anime on his phone, when Hao steps out of the bathroom. His entire attention narrows in on his roommate immediately.
Wow, Hao looks pretty today. His hair is styled differently—swept back from his forehead, soft waves falling around his large ears. He's wearing a black button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone. His jeans are dark and fitted against his slender legs.
Being sensitive to scents, Hanbin can immediately tell he’s even wearing cologne. Such a sweet scent.
But also, why is Hao about to step out of the apartment like that? He never goes anywhere, let alone looking like he does right now.
“Where are you going?” Hanbin asks, his voice coming out weird.
Hao doesn't even look at him as he grabs his bag. “Out.”
“Out where?” Hanbin insists.
“Out.” Hao slips on a pair of new shoes he grabs from the shoe box and leaves the apartment.
It's so obvious he’s going on a date. Why is he so secretive?
Hanbin didn't even know his roommate dated since Hao never talks about his personal life.
But now he's out there, looking like that, going to meet someone. Maybe they'll sit across from a table at a restaurant and sip drinks and make jokes. Someone will lean in close and breathe in that cologne and maybe, if the night goes well—
Hanbin’s jaw clenches, hating where his thoughts are going.
He's just relieved. This is good. If Hao is on a date, he’ll definitely get laid tonight. He can come home satisfied and sleep through the night like a normal person.
Hanbin can finally get some good night’s rest.
The next four hours are a nightmare for Hanbin. His eyes keep drifting towards the door, his ears straining for the sound of keys in the lock.
At 8 p.m, Gunwook goes to bed.
“Good night, Hanbin. Remember that adequate sleep is essential for cognitive function and memory consolidation.”
“Yeah,” Hanbin mutters. “Thanks.”
At 10 p.m, Hanbin puts away the books he hasn't even glanced at all evening and lies down on his bed, fully clothed.
At 11 p.m, he starts to get annoyed with himself. Why is he waiting? He should just go brush his teeth and wash his face and go to sleep. Hao isn't even here. This is the perfect opportunity to rest.
But his body won't cooperate. His eyes won't close and his brain keeps supplying images of Hao kissing some imaginary face.
He checks his phone. 11:37 p.m.
Maybe he's not coming home tonight. The thought makes his stomach hurt. Why does it make his stomach hurt? If Hao stays over at someone else's place, that means zero jerking off in the bunk above Hanbin’s head and zero weird noises.
Isn't that what Hanbin has been desperately wanting?
The door opens at 12:03 a.m. Hanbin’s heart leaps into his throat. He lies perfectly still, pretending to be asleep as Hao shuffles into the apartment. Hanbin listens to the familiar sounds of Hao getting ready for bed before he climbs up to his bunk.
Good for him. He probably just had good sex.
But the moment he settles in bed, Hao sighs and the porn audio starts. Does he just have porn on his home screen for easy access?
Hanbin stares at his bed above him in disbelief.
Maybe the sex was bad, or maybe the date didn't end the way Hanbin thought it would.
Which means—
Oh.
A grin spreads across Hanbin’s face, and he feels so warm and bubbly now.
The date definitely went badly.
He shouldn't be happy about this. He should be a normal, supportive roommate who wants his hyung to find love, happiness and sexual satisfaction. But here he is, happy Hao’s potential romance fell through.
For the first time ever, Hanbin doesn't mind the sounds.
DAY 50
“Jaehyun,” Hao moans mid jerking off, and Hanbin’s entire body goes rigid. His heart, which had been beating in its usual exhausted rhythm, suddenly slams against his ribs like a caged animal.
Who the fuck is Jaehyun?
Hanbin wasn’t fazed by Hao’s jerking off today, and he thought he'd finally moved on. It’s just a part of his life. But now Hao decided to ruin his progress by drawing his attention.
Hao keeps going, unaware that he has just detonated a bomb in Hanbin’s brain. And then he lets out another soft moan.
“Fuck, Jaehyun—”
Is that the guy he went out with last night? And now he's lying in bed, moaning that name while touching himself.
Hanbin is angry.
Suddenly, the sound gets way too loud. Hao shouldn't moan someone else's name while Hanbin is trying to sleep.
He contemplates getting up to give him a piece of his mind when Hao lets out a shaky exhale that signifies the end of his session.
While Hao’s breathing evens out and he starts snoring, Hanbin lies awake, wondering what Jaehyun looks like.
Naturally, the next morning, Hanbin is a wreck.
His eyes are bloodshot, his hair sticking up in seventeen different directions and he's too sluggish to even change out of his pajamas. He just stands in the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee he has no intention of drinking, while staring blankly at the wall.
Hao walks in looking annoyingly refreshed. He's wearing an oversized cream sweater that slips off one shoulder, and he has the audacity to hum while he pours his own coffee.
“You look terrible,” is the first sentence he says.
“Didn't sleep,” Hanbin manages.
His roommate says nothing after that, ignoring Hanbin’s entire existence. Even hearing Hanbin’s admission doesn’t make him realize Hanbin’s heard everything last night. Or maybe he just doesn’t care about poor Hanbin’s suffering.
But Hanbin is very curious about something.
“Hao.” He forces his voice to stay as neutral as possible.
Hao looks up and tilts his head cutely. “Hm?”
“Do you know… Jaehyun?”
Fuck, that sounded desperate. He just wanted to pretend he knew a Jaehyun, so Hao could give him info about the guy whose name he was moaning last night.
Instead, Hao's eyebrow lifts in confusion. “Jaehyun?”
“Yeah,” Hanbin murmurs and waves a hand vaguely. “Jae—you know. Jaehyun. Do you know him?”
Hao's expression is unreadable for a long time before finally shrugging and looking away. “Why are you asking about Jaehyun?”
Oh. Maybe he'll finally give Hanbin the answer he wants to hear.
He keeps prodding. “I thought maybe you might know the Jaehyun I'm talking about.”
Before Hao can respond, a third voice cuts in.
“Jaehyun is a relatively common Korean name.”
Hanbin and Hao both turn to see Gunwook standing in the doorway of the kitchen, already dressed, holding his phone.
“Statistically speaking,” Gunwook continues, “approximately one in two hundred males in South Korea is named Jaehyun. The name consists of two syllables—’Jae’ meaning talent or wealth, and ‘Hyun', meaning virtuous or worthy. It has remained in the top fifty names for male children for the past two decades.”
Who asked him? Hanbin makes eye contact with Hao, and it's clear they are both thinking the same exact thing.
“Were you looking for a specific Jaehyun? I could provide additional statistics on name frequency by region if that would be helpful.”
“No,” Hanbin says quickly. “No, that’s fine. That's—I'm good. I don't need regional statistics.”
“Understood.” Gunwook nods and walks into the kitchen, clearly satisfied that he has contributed meaningfully to the conversation.
He's either a robot or just a narcissist.
Hao grabs his coffee and walks back to the bedroom, leaving Hanbin alone with the weirdo.
Ugh! Now Hanbin will never know who this Jaehyun is.
He opens his phone and types “Jaehyun” into the search bar. The top result is NCT’s Jaehyun.
Is Hao fucking Hanbin’s ultimate bias?
DAY 52
It's a Tuesday afternoon and Hanbin is lying on his bed, trying to nap.
His nemesis is out of the room. Gunwook is probably somewhere in the apartment. Hanbin really doesn’t care where the other is, as long as it’s away from him.
Until he starts hearing voices.
His first thought is that someone’s broken into their apartment and the intruder is going to chop him up into tiny cubes. He bets Hao would be so happy to have him gone. Paralyzed by fear, he's unable to get up from his bed, simply accepting his untimely demise.
“—nah bruv, you're actually so goated for that—”
Why is their armed robber a Gen Alpha?
“—literally no cap, I'm telling you, there’s no way bro folded like a lawn chair for the gooner—”
Hanbin sits up slowly, heart still pounding, but confusion now overrides his fear. He creeps toward the kitchen quietly and peers through the crack in the door.
Gunwook is sitting on the kitchen counter.
But it's not Gunwook at the same time.
His posture is different—slouched, casual, legs spread wide as he laughs loudly. Gunwook never even smiles. He nods along to whatever the person on the other end is saying and when he opens his mouth, that voice comes out.
“—smelled his gay simp ass from a mile away I'm literally so for real right now—”
What is he even talking about? Hanbin doesn’t understand any of these words. Why is Gunwook smelling a gay chimp folding lawn chairs?
Maybe he is actually a performing arts student who has been studying the role of an insufferable educational TikToker for the past two months.
Or maybe this is all a social experiment.
Hanbin’s eyes go wide. What if someone is filming him right now? He looks around the room, trying to find a camera. He can’t find one, but he won’t rule out the possibility that there’s a tiny one hidden somewhere. Deciding to act all cool and collected, he looks into the corner of the room like he's in The Office. After he’s done his best Jim Halpert impression to the imaginary camera, another thought comes. Could this be an experiment where they put normal people in apartments with increasingly bizarre roommates to see how long it takes them to crack?
“—deadass?” Gunwook says into the phone. “Okay, say less. I'm gonna pull up.”
He gets up and stretches before walking towards the door. Hanbin runs back into the bedroom and lies back down, pretending to be asleep.
Gunwook walks back in, posture back to normal again, face completely neutral. He looks at Hanbin and tilts his head.
“Hello, Hanbin,” he says. “Did you know that octopuses have three hearts and blue blood? Two of the hearts pump blood to the gills, while the third pumps it to the rest of the body. When an octopus swims, the heart that delivers blood to the body usually stops beating, which is why they prefer to crawl rather than swim.”
It's the voice Hanbin is used to. The normal one. Well, not a normal one. But better than the way he was just talking.
Scared, Hanbin quickly turns towards the wall, trying to disappear from the world.
DAY 57
Tonight, Hanbin can hear the unmistakable buzz of a vibrator and an audible wet squelching sound.
Oh, Hanbin didn't even know he had toys. He assumed his roommate preferred his hands. Or the bed. Where is he even using the vibrator?
Is it inside him?
Oh.
Hao is probably lying on his back right now, legs spread as he presses the vibrator insistently into his hole.
Hanbin bites down on his lip as he imagines it.
Does he use lube to wet it? Or has he had it in his mouth?
The image shifts to Hao’s lips parted, toy resting on his tongue. His eyes half-closed as he suckles on the head of the toy.
Hanbin presses his thighs together.
What color even is it?
Maybe it's pink. That would be cute. Hao seems to like the color because most of his stationery is pink. But he also wears dark clothes. Maybe it will be black, sleek, and expensive.
What about its shape?
Is it curved, meant to hit his sweet spot over and over again while being small and discreet? Or maybe he likes being filled up better?
The buzzing becomes louder all of a sudden. Hanbin wishes he had the remote in his hands to control it. Well, only because he wants to punish his unruly roommate and stop the toy completely. Not because he wants to watch him gasp and moan and whimper.
Hanbin has actually never seen any toys before. Does he have more than this vibrator? Also, where does he hide them? Does he have a secret compartment somewhere in this room? Will a pile of colorful dildos drop on Hanbin’s head the next time he opens the closet for a fresh pair of clothes? Or maybe this is new and he bought it earlier today. Is he testing it for the first time?
How does he plan to wash the vibrator?
Maybe he'll actually come down from his bed tonight and go wash it when he's done. Or maybe he'll just wipe it with a tissue and call it a day. Hanbin could help him wash—
Above him, the buzzing stops, cutting off his train of thought. Hao lets out a content mmmmh.
Hanbin is never going to sleep tonight.
Hanbin is an octopus. He has eight tentacles, suction cups, and a soft, malleable body that can squeeze through any opening. It feels funny moving around.
He wants to giggle a little because of the tingles going through his entire body.
The apartment is underwater. Bubbles float up from the coffee maker, Gunwook’s tripod sways gently in the current. And Hao is there, floating in the middle of the room, completely naked, his hair drifting around his face like seaweed.
Hanbin’s octopus body crawls towards him, naturally drawn to him.
There's surprise on Hao’s face as he takes in Hanbin’s body before it lands on Hanbin’s giant human head. He tries to talk, but it just comes out as bubbles.
Hanbin lifts one tentacle and wraps it around Hao’s wrist. Another around his waist. And then a third slides up his chest, across the collarbones, and along his jaw.
Finally exploring his body like he's wanted to for so long. He doesn’t have to hide his desires anymore.
Hao’s mouth falls open in a gasp, and his eyes roll back when Hanbin slides a tentacle inside.
It doesn't feel like Hanbin is doing anything weird at all. In fact, it feels natural.
The tentacles are so sensitive—he can feel everything. The warmth of Hao’s mouth, the wetness of his tongue, and the way his lips close around the suction cups, pulling gently.
Hao’s eyes are half-closed and his cheeks are hollowed as he starts to suck.
Hanbin’s other tentacles move on their own. One curls around Hao’s thigh. Another traces down his stomach. A third slips between his legs, pressing against the tip of Hao’s hard dick where he's already leaking.
A moan escapes Hao’s lips despite the tentacles in his mouth, and the sound vibrates through Hanbin’s entire body. Through all eight of his arms. Through his three octopus hearts–thank you, Gunwook, for that fun fact.
Hanbin pushes deeper, and Hao takes it eagerly, throat working around the thickest part of the tentacles. His hands come up to grip the other tentacles wrapped around his body, holding on like he's afraid Hanbin will pull away.
Hell no. Hanbin has no intention of pulling away.
He uses his free tentacles to explore every inch of Hao’s body. The dip of his waist. The curve of his plump bubble butt. The sensitive spot behind his ear that makes him shiver. Hao is moaning constantly now, a steady stream of desperate little sounds that are muffled by the tentacles in his mouth.
Suddenly, the scene changes.
Hanbin is inside Hao now. Two tentacles grip onto Hao's cock while the rest keep pressing inside Hao’s hole. Hao’s body accepts every part of Hanbin’s octopus form, taking him in like he was made for it.
Hao's eyes meet Hanbin’s. He smiles around the tentacles in his mouth.
And then he bites down.
Hanbin wakes up gasping, heart pounding. The sheets are tangled around his legs, and his pajama pants are—
He looks down.
Oh no.
Hanbin lies perfectly still, processing that strange dream. Fuck. It's still so vivid in his mind.
How does one go back into their dream?
Hanbin hasn’t felt this refreshed waking up in the morning in almost two months. Wow. Looking over to the other side of the room, Hanbin can see Gunwook is already gone. There’s morning light streaming into the room already. Seems like Hanbin can’t lie here forever, reliving his dream.
He still has to change his sheets and do laundry, so he moves quickly.
First, he strips the sheets and balls them up with his soiled pajama pants and underwear stuffed inside. He shoves the whole thing into his laundry bag and then makes the bed with fresh sheets. No one will know what happened last night.
When he's done, he stands in the middle of the room, breathing hard, and looks up at Hao's bunk.
The toy is nowhere to be found, as expected. Did he maybe come down in the middle of Hanbin’s bizarre dream, or is it underneath his pillow right now?
No, Hanbin would like to think he washed it. He can't help but imagine Hao standing at the bathroom sink, rinsing off his pink vibrating tentacle dildo, hair all messy, still wet between his legs. Suddenly, Hanbin’s octopus form jumps out of the water and slips into his mou—
Okay, Hanbin might need to see a psychiatrist.
DAY 60
A shaky breath comes from Hao's bed, followed by a sniffle and finally a choked sob. It's so muffled, like he's trying very hard to be quiet.
At first, Hanbin assumes he’s just horny, like he has been literally every night for two months straight. Honestly, it’s very impressive to not miss a single day. But then he realizes Hao is not jerking off or using any toys tonight. He's just simply crying.
Oh no.
Hanbin’s chest tightens. He's never heard Hao cry before. But now he keeps letting out tiny, broken sounds. He must be shaking up there, curled in on himself, alone in the dark.
He should ignore it and pretend he didn't hear anything. Hanbin has cried a lot of times, and Hao has never acknowledged his tears.
But unfortunately, Hanbin is too nice for his own good.
He opens Naver.
where to buy durian near me
The results are not promising. The grocery stores near them don't have any. The nearest one he can find is across town. And not to mention, the prices are outrageous for someone who he isn’t even friends with.
Sixty thousand won for a fruit that will stink up the entire apartment for days does not seem like a good deal to Hanbin.
How does Hao manage to buy them all the time? Hanbin would think he just wants to terrorize him and Gunwook, but he seems to really enjoy eating something that smells like rotting garbage mixed with garlic. Sometimes he literally skips in the apartment while eating a fleshy piece of the fruit excitedly. That’s the only reason why Hanbin is even considering getting him one.
But his bank account doesn't want him to get it at all. Maybe he should have looked into that stripper job Hao so generously showed him before.
Ugh! The image of what Hao must look like appears in his peripheral vision in the form of a chibi image. Red eyes, wet cheeks, and voice broken as he chokes out, make me happy with durian.
Hanbin orders two durians from Coupang. They should be delivered by morning.
He’s not sure what he’s going to say to Hao. He’ll think of something in the morning.
DAY 67
Hanbin is terrorized by a group of elementary school kids who chase him home from the bus stop, chanting “SIX SEVEN SIX SEVEN SIX SEVEN” the entire way.
How the hell did they know he’s been listening to his roommate jerk off for sixty-seven nights now?
Hao spent the entire night masturbating. He came five times. That’s not even the weirdest part. Last night was another non-porn day. This time, he wasn’t beating it off to a girl group. No, this was even weirder. Hanbin would have preferred a girl group over whatever he heard last night.
For some reason, Hao got off to RuPaul’s Call Me Mother. It was another case of Hanbin recognizing the song because it was one of the song covers he’s posted on YouTube.
Did he already mention that Hao came five times, with the video he was watching on loop the entire time?
Hanbin did not sleep a wink.
DAY 69
Hanbin is lying on his back, fully naked, with the sheets tangled around his legs.
Suddenly, there's a weight on top of him.
He blinks and sees Hao straddling his chest, knees planted on either side of Hanbin’s ribs as he looks down at him with half-lidded eyes. His hair is messy—falling over his forehead and sticking to his temples. His lips are parted and his skin is flushed pink all the way down to his neck.
More importantly, he's also naked.
“Hanbin-ah,” Hao whispers, sounding wrecked, breathless, and needy at the same time.
Hanbin’s hands find Hao’s bare thighs and grip them tightly, hands brushing Hao’s cock. Hao shudders above him.
“Should we do it then?” Hao asks.
Hanbin nods even though he doesn't really understand what Hao is asking him.
Smiling, Hao turns around so he's facing Hanbin’s feet, with his ass in front of Hanbin’s face. He shifts backwards until his knees are bracketing Hanbin’s head, his cock in—
Oh.
Hanbin’s mouth falls open as he understands the position they are in.
Above him, Hao lowers himself down until his cock is deep inside Hanbin’s open mouth. His tongue meets the soft skin of Hao’s length and he can't resist running his tongue along the shaft. Hao lets out a moan and nearly falls onto him.
But he catches himself enough to grab onto Hanbin’s dick before he brings it to his mouth.
Hanbin gasps—or tries to. The sound is muffled by the way Hao is fucking his mouth. Hao keeps using his tongue on him at the same time, alternating between licking and sucking. The moans he keeps letting out around Hanbin’s length are nothing short of obscene.
Fuck.
Hanbin starts to match his rhythm, holding onto Hao’s hips to prevent him from moving. When he flicks his tongue along the slit, gathering the precum there, Hao’s hips stutter and he does the same to Hanbin.
When Hanbin suckles on the head and twists the shaft with his hands, Hao’s moans get louder, vibrating down Hanbin’s length, making his toes curl.
Fuck, Hao is so good at this. He's so good at deep throating before pulling back and switching to kittenish licks.
Hanbin feels like Hao is his teacher right now. And he's just repeating everything the guy is teaching him about blowjobs. Hanbin’s vision goes white every time Hao twists his tongue at the tip.
In return, Hanbin licks the sensitive spot just behind Hao’s balls. He's not sure how he knows that information. But Hao’s thighs quake when he licks lower. And when he finally takes Hao all the way into his throat, Hao lets out desperate little whimpers.
“Fuck,” Hao breathes, pulling away from Hanbin’s dick to spill saliva all over it. “Fuck, Hanbin—” he says and then slobbers all over Hanbin’s cock again.
The bedframe is shaking now—or maybe that's just them. The sheets are a mess and the air is thick with the sounds of wetness and moans and the soft, rhythmic slap of their bodies moving together.
Hao is leaking into Hanbin’s tongue and Hanbin swallows it hungrily like a starved man.
“Close,” Hao gasps. “I'm so close—” his voice breaks into a scream as he jerks Hanbin off furiously.
Hanbin doubles his efforts, sucking harder, licking faster and taking Hao deeper. Hao cups Hanbin’s balls and squeezes hard.
Immediately, Hanbin comes.
His orgasm rips through him without warning and he nearly chokes on Hao’s cock in his mouth. His back arches off the bed and his hands dig into Hao’s thighs hard enough to leave bruises.
The vibrations from his moans around Hao must push him over the edge because suddenly he's coming too, spilling onto Hanbin’s tongue and down his throat, crying out with a broken, desperate sound that Hanbin will remember for the rest of his life.
The scene changes and now Hao’s head rests on Hanbin’s stomach. His lips are so wet, and his eyes are closed.
“Sixty-nine,” Hao murmurs. “Appropriate for today.”
Hanbin laughs at Hao’s incredible wit, until everything around them starts to fade.
Blinking awake, Hanbin realizes his boxers are wet. So why is he still hard? His dick is aching, straining against his pajama pants. The sheets are tangled around his legs as usual and his heart is pounding in his chest.
He can also hear Hao whimpering. Just like in the dream.
Hanbin must have fallen asleep earlier today, but Hao still found a way to terrorize him in his dreams.
Fuck. He's so hard it hurts. And the sounds coming from Hao are making it worse.
Don't touch yourself, Hanbin tells himself. Don't. You're better than this.
His hand moves anyway, desperate for relief. His palm presses against his dick through his pajama pants and the friction makes him gasp. Loud enough that he has to shove his other hand over his mouth.
Above him, Hao moans loudly too, thankfully covering his own sound up.
Hanbin bites down on his palm and strokes himself through the wet, thin fabric. It's not enough. It's nowhere near enough.
He needs—he needs Hao, needs his mouth, needs his hands, needs the way he felt in the dream—
Hanbin ends up slipping his hand under the waistband of his pants, telling himself it’s just to relieve some of the pressure. His hands close around his already wet dick, precum and the cum from his wet dream slicking the way.
Fuck. The first real touch makes his eyes roll back.
He strokes himself slowly at first, trying to be quiet, but he soon moves faster, more desperate than he’s ever been.
And that’s how he ends up coming. It hits him harder than the dream and his body shakes with it. He bites down on his palm hard to muffle whatever sound threatens to escape.
Then it's over.
Post-nut clarity slams into him immediately. He lies there, panting, sticky, and very horrified.
He finally did it. He touched himself to the sound of his roommate jerking off.
He is disgusting, a pervert, and everything that one mean Reddit comment accused him of being.
Above him, Hao finishes with a long, shaky exhale.
DAY 74
Something falls from Hao's bunk while he's terrorizing Hanbin again.
It lands on the floor, right next to Hanbin’s bed. In his line of sight.
It's impossible for Hanbin not to look, just as impossible as it's been trying not to jerk off again tonight.
His brain takes a full three seconds to process what he's seeing. It's pink, cylindrical, open at one end and closed at the other.
There's a translucent sleeve visible inside the hard outer case, and it glistens in the faint light from the window.
Is that a fucking fleshlight?
Zhang Hao's using a fleshlight, Hanbin’s brain supplies.
“How did you fly there?” Hao wonders from above him before the ladder creaks, and he climbs down.
Hanbin immediately closes his eyes, feigning sleep. All he can hear is the sound of Hao picking it up with a wet squelching sound and then setting it somewhere before he comes to stand next to their bed.
Hearing the creak from Hao’s feet on the ladder, Hanbin feels safe enough to open both eyes properly.
Big mistake.
Because he immediately realizes that Hao is naked, and he can also see the outline of his dick. At eye level, in fact. He can see the curve, the length, and how soft it is. He must have finished earlier.
Hanbin’s brain stops working.
He can see Hao's dick. He is seeing Hao's dick right now. What the fuck?
Half a second later, Hao’s back in his own bed.
Obviously, Hanbin doesn’t sleep a wink that night..
DAY 75
It’s another endless, sleepless, and torturous night.
Hanbin is lying in bed, attempting to sleep even though he knows he’s definitely getting no sleep tonight. The cause of that enters the room, freshly showered. Speak of the devil. Hao climbs up the bunk and Hanbin hears the soft creak of the mattress as Hao settles in, followed by a quiet exhale.
As usual, it’s followed by the rustle of the sheets as Hao finds his phone.
That’s it.
That’s Hanbin’s breaking point. He can’t do this anymore. Hanbin sits up so fast he nearly hits his head on the bunk above him.
“Hao,” he hisses out into the dark.
There’s no response, and a few seconds later, Hao lets out theatrical snores, pretending to fall asleep. Like Hanbin didn’t see him get into the room barely two minutes ago.
“Hao,” he calls out again, insistent.
“What?” Hao clicks his tongue, voice muffled.
Rolling his eyes, Hanbin gets up from his bed completely until he’s standing in the middle of the room, staring into his roommate’s eyes. “What is wrong with you?”
A frown forms on Hao’s face, and he gasps, affronted. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Hanbin’s voice is shaking with all the accumulated rage and exhaustion from the seventy-five nights combined. “What is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what you’ve been putting me through?”
Hao shuts his phone and drops it beside him, shifting to sit up properly. “I don’t know what you’re—”
“Don’t,” Hanbin cuts him off, raising two fingers up in the air. “Don’t pretend. You know. Seventy-five nights, Hao.” he walks towards the tally and gestures towards it, making sure Hao can see it this time since he’s been blind all along. “I can hear everything.”
The silence that follows is deafening.
But when Hao finally replies to him, it’s a simple. “Oh.” And then, he lays back down on his bed, no care in the world.
“Oh?” Hanbin scoffs. “That’s all you have to say?”
“You should have told me. I’ll try to be more quiet.”
The nonchalance of it all is beginning to piss Hanbin off. How is he this infuriating?
“Try to be more quiet?” he repeats, unable to believe Hao would even say that in response to his suffering. “Like that’s going to work.” Hanbin takes a deep breath before he starts cussing his roommate out. “Why don’t you just go fuck someone? Genuinely. Why does it have to be every single night in this room while I’m trying to sleep?”
Hao sounds defensive when he replies. “I don’t have time for that. I study, go to school, and sleep. When would I even do it? This is my only free time, okay.”
“Okay,” Hanbin says slowly, trying to reason with him. But also—”Why do you have to do it every single night?”
Leaning over his bed again, Hao looks Hanbin dead in the eyes and murmurs, “I have a high sex drive. I’m an alpha.”
“You’re a what?” Hanbin’s voice goes high-pitched.
“An alpha. You know. My… secondary gender.”
Hanbin places a hand on his hips and stares at one of the imaginary cameras in disbelief. “That’s not even a real thing."
“It’s real,” Hao insists, sounding offended. “I read about it. There are others like me out there.”
Fuck. What’s wrong with him? And why does Hanbin want to kiss him?
Hanbin buries his face in his palms, rubbing his forehead hard. “Hao, listen to me,” he says once he calms down a little. “What you’re describing sounds like a medical condition. You should probably get it checked out. Or at least ask a professional. Like Gunwook. He makes those educational medical videos, right?”
They both shudder at the same time. Why would Hanbin even suggest something as horrible as that?
“No way,” Hao whines. “I don't want to hear his stupid AI-generated response.”
“Okay, okay,” Hanbin says. “Not Gunwook. We just need to find another solution to all this.”
Hanbin strokes his jaw while he thinks. Hao, on the other hand, lies back down, fingers shaking, probably because he hasn’t masturbated tonight. This addict.
An idea crosses Hanbin’s mind and he physically fights himself. First, he looks over to Gunwook’s side of the room. He’s lying perfectly still, looking like a corpse. Good. It’s the perfect opportunity.
No, I shouldn’t. He immediately loses the fight with himself and ends up saying something he never thought he’d say. “Dude. Okay. I’ll help you.”
Saying dude will definitely make it less weird and gay. Hanbin is so chill.
Hao’s head appears over the edge of the bunk again, hair hanging down and eyes wide. “...What? Help me how?”
“I said I'll help you. You need to… you know. And I need to sleep. So.” Hanbin’s face is burning, unable to maintain eye contact. He can feel the heat crawling up his neck, across his cheeks, to the tips of his ears. “I’ll help you cum and then— It’s a practical solution.”
“Okay,” Hao shrugs, agreeing easily. Hanbin is way too embarrassed to judge him for saying yes just like that.
“I’m going to go get ready. Don’t move,” he says. He doesn’t wait for a response. He grabs his towel and his shower caddy and walks to the bathroom.
Hanbin makes sure the water is scorching hot so he can clean properly. First, he stands under it for a long time, trying to calm his racing heart.
Then he gets to work.
Grabbing the fancy soap he’s been saving for a special occasion, Hanbin washes himself thoroughly. Then he shaves carefully, making sure his skin is very smooth. It’s hard reaching behind to shave between his ass cheeks but he manages after slipping on the floor twice.
And just because he wants to be prepared for everything, he grabs the lube just sitting on the shelf in their bathroom. It’s been there since the day he moved in, and he has no clue who it belongs to.
Who is he kidding? Of course it’s Hao’s. Who else in this apartment would leave lube lying around? Hanbin’s very desperate tonight, so he decides to use it anyway.
He decides to finger himself a little, just to loosen up. It’s not his first time shoving a finger up his ass, but that has been for his own pleasure–not to sacrifice his body for his roommate just so he gets to sleep. This is so nerve-wrecking.
When his finger slips inside, he lets out one of those anime girl moans and braces himself against the shower wall.
This is not because he’s anticipating anything. He’s just covering all his bases. Hanbin is so chill about this whole thing. So—ah—normal.
He slips a second finger in, breath hitching as water pounds against his back. Hmm, this feels good. If Hanbin was a chronic masturbator like his roommate, he might be doing this every day too. But he’s not.
Finally, he finishes prepping himself and manages not to cum. Then he dries off and puts on clean underwear and his softest sweat pants. Hanbin even combs his hair and sprays his fanciest cologne.
When he steps into the bedroom, it’s dark and quiet, save for some soft snoring.
Hanbin walks to the bunk. Hao’s face is visible over the edge of the mattress, his eyes are closed, mouth slightly open, and his breathing is slow and even.
He fell asleep.
Hanbin spent twenty minutes in the shower, cleaning himself and making sure everything would go smoothly, even when he didn’t have to. And Hao fell asleep.
Realistically, this would be the perfect opportunity to get that sleep he’s been craving. Hao won’t jerk off tonight. Hanbin could just climb into his own bed, close his eyes, and sleep.
But then everything he did would go to waste.
Hanbin stares at Hao’s sleeping face. His stupid, beautiful, infuriating sleeping face. His lips are slightly parted, his hair spread across the pillow. He looks so peaceful.
When he’s done admiring his roommate’s sleeping figure, he calls out, “Hao.”
Hao’s nose wrinkles and he mumbles something unintelligible before turning his head.
“Hao.” Hanbin reaches up and pokes his shoulder repeatedly. “Wake up!”
After a while, Hao’s eyes flutter open. He blinks slowly, clearly disoriented as his gaze finds Hanbin’s face. “Huh?”
“I’m ready,” Hanbin whispers, feeling utterly ridiculous.
“Ready for what?”
Hanbin’s eye twitches. “For sex, Hao. What we talked about earlier.”
The memory seems to surface slowly in Hao’s brain. His eyes widen when he realizes. “Oh. Oh. Right.”
“Just come down.”
Hao sits up, rubbing his eyes. He looks so soft, sleepy, and adorable. Hanbin wants to scream.
“Be careful,” Hanbin says as Hao swings his legs over the edge of the bunk. “The ladder is—”
Hao’s foot slips just then. Hanbin lunges forward to catch him, grabbing him at the waist, steadying him before he can fall. Hao just hums and gets out of Hanbin’s arms. When he makes it to the floor, he’s still swaying slightly.
Then he sits heavily on the edge of Hanbin’s bed, yawning lazily. He looks around in Hanbin’s bed, spotting Ditto and Ddungjjungham immediately. “Cute.”
“Aren’t you going to…?” Hanbin gestures vaguely at Hao’s body.
“What?”
“You know. Get… ready?”
“I’m ready.” Hao yawns again. “Just get in.”
Hanbin takes a deep breath before pulling down his sweatpants. They pool around his ankles, and he kicks them off, leaving himself in his underwear. Hao’s eyes fly down to make eye contact with his dick and Hanbin’s hands immediately cover his crotch area, a last-ditch effort at modesty.
“Stop hiding your dick,” Hao mumbles, sneering at Hanbin. “Get in bed. Stop making it weird.”
Hanbin almost says, Yes sir. For some reason, it just lands on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he shakes himself off and gets into his bed, beside Hao. Hao lies down properly next to him and they both stare at each other.
“Okay,” Hao says. “Now what?”
“I don’t know. You’re the one with the high sex drive. You tell me.”
Hao turns his head to look at Hanbin. His face is very close. Hanbin can see the individual lashes of his eyes, the moles scattered around his face like constellations, the way his lips part slightly when he breathes.
“I guess we’re really doing this, then,” Hao whispers.
Hanbin hiccups, then coughs to cover it up. “Look,” he starts once he finds his words. “Can we just do it quickly? I really need to sleep.”
“Okay,” Hao says. “Quickly.”
In the process of trying to get comfortable, without falling off the narrow mattress, they both manage to smack their foreheads against the wooden slats of Hao’s bunk at the same time. They recoil, hissing in pain.
“Ow—”
“Shit—”
They glare at each other in the dark, rubbing their sore heads before lying back down. The mood is, to put it mildly, dead. Hanbin can feel his entire body radiating cringe.
“So,” Hao whispers.
“So,” Hanbin whispers back.
Hao shifts closer, seemingly tired of waiting. His hand is warm and a little clumsy as it finds its way into Hanbin’s underwear to grab onto his dick. Hanbin, trying to be a helpful participant, mirrors the action.
They lie side by side, holding each other’s cocks without moving.
It’s awkward. So, so awkward. Hanbin feels like he’s back in seventh grade, playing a game of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” But when Hao’s thumb brushes over the head, a jolt goes through Hanbin.
He hears Hao let out a soft sigh, as Hanbin’s hand starts to move too, finding a rhythm.
It’s hesitant at first, a little clumsy. Hanbin is struggling to focus on moving his hands when he's practically hyper-aware of everything—the rough callus on Hao’s palm, the way Hao’s breathing hitches every time Hanbin’s thumb swipes over his slit and the sticky sounds of their hands moving.
It's nothing like his own desperate, silent sessions in the shower. He'd never do it in the bedroom. Unlike someone he knows.
But, fuck. Hao is so good at this. Hanbin has to clench his jaw so he doesn't burst in the next few seconds. The older alternates between jerking him off and squeezing around his cock. It feels like he's in paradise every time Hao does that. It's so tight and good.
He just needs to hold it in. Or else he'll make it obvious this is the first time a hot guy is holding his dick. Well, any guy in general.
Just as he thinks he's actually gonna cum, Hao’s hand stills on him. Hanbin's stomach drops as he turns around to face him.
Was he doing it wrong? Maybe his technique was so bad that Hao decided not to let him benefit from his gift of being a master at jerking off.
But no. Hao has his eyes shut and his lips parted as he leans back against the bunk. He lets out a soft, breathy moan then, and his hips twitch forward.
Oh.
Hanbin is making him feel good. That's perfect. He smiles to himself and increases his pace.
Soon, Hao grips on the meat of Hanbin’s thighs and Hanbin can tell he's close.
An insane idea blooms in Hanbin’s mind. He's come this far. What's one more step on the path to martyrdom?
Without another thought, Hanbin uses his free hand to take off Hao’s hand. The older's eyes fly open, and he frowns, confused. Hanbin just smiles up at him as he shimmers down the bed, movement quite clumsy and ungrateful.
He ends up with his face somewhere near Hao's knees, his own body twisted at an angle that will definitely cause back problems later. Is sex supposed to be this awkward? Can what he’s doing even be considered as sex, really? He is giving up his virgin body so he and Gunwook can finally sleep in peace. Hanbin should get an award for his sacrifice.
Hanbin doesn't want to lose the boldness coursing through his veins, so he decides not to take another look at Hao. Instead, he takes a deep breath, braces himself, and takes Hao into his mouth.
The reaction is instantaneous and violent. Hao's entire body bows off the bed, a sharp, guttural cry tearing down his throat. His hands fly to Hanbin’s hair to fist the strands, holding on for dear life.
“Fuck,” Hao gasps loudly, his voice wrecked. “Hanbin—”
Hanbin looks up in panic, trying to communicate to him that he should reduce his voice. Hao, on the other hand, looks like he's not even in this room anymore. His eyes are half-lidded and tears stream down his face beautifully if Hanbin is seeing correctly. He might be fantasizing all of this.
Encouraged now, Hanbin pulls out his big guns. Time to make out with Hao’s pretty dick. He uses his tongue, flattening it against the underside before swirling it around his head.
Then he takes the bulbous head into his mouth, suckling lewdly as he bobs his head until he can feel Hao’s thighs quake beneath him.
He wants to see if he can make Hao make more sounds.
Of course it works. Hao is a symphony of choked-off moans and desperate whimpers. He's completely lost it, his hips starting to thrust shallowly, fucking into Hanbin’s mouth with a mindless, primal need. The grip in his hair tightens, a delicious, grounding pain that sends a thrill straight to Hanbin’s own neglected cock.
“Close,” Hao chokes out, his voice strained. “I'm so—”
He doesn’t finish the sentence. With a final, shattered cry, his hips slam forward. He presses Hanbin’s head down, burying his face against his groin as he cums, hot seed disappearing down Hanbin’s throat.
Hanbin’s vision whites out. His gag reflex screams in protest, his lungs burn for air, but a strange, dizzying euphoria washes over him. He sees heaven, a promise of actual silence tonight.
Hao is clearly seeing heaven too, judging by the way his entire body convulses, and his toes curl.
Just as black spots start to dance in Hanbin’s vision and he genuinely thinks he might actually die right here, in his sacrificial bed, Hao’s grip loosens. Hanbin rips himself back, collapsing onto the mattress and coughing, gasping for air. Cum and saliva drip from his chin onto his chest.
Hao lies there, boneless and panting, his chest heaving. After a long moment, he turns his head, his eyes glassy and sated in the dim light. He looks at Hanbin, at the mess on his face, and a slow, lazy smile spreads across his lips.
“Wow,” Hao breathes, voice husky. “That was so easy. Good thinking, using your mouth. So convenient. Way faster than me doing it on my own.”
Then he twists on the mattress before pulling out something from underneath his body. It’s poor Ddungjjungham. Wow. Hanbin’s child was there to witness him blowing his roommate.
Hanbin just stares at Hao, his throat sore, his dignity in tatters. Convenient. Right.
He doesn’t even care. He shoves his face into his pillow, ignoring the sticky mess in his pajama pants.
He closes his eyes, and for the first time in seventy-five nights, he falls asleep within seconds. The silence is more beautiful than Hao’s moans.
That's a lie.
DAY 76
The morning after was awkward, to say the least. Somehow, both of them passed out in seconds, still in Hanbin’s bed.
Waking up well rested–what the fuck, maybe Hao is onto something–with Hao’s head resting on his arm, snoring softly in his ear, and with the dried cum from last night still in his underwear was not something Hanbin was mentally prepared for.
With his heart beating wildly in his chest, he somehow managed to escape the bed without waking Hao. He did consider that one a small win, but a glance into Gunwook’s empty bed left him filled with dread. Was he going to say something? Did Gunwook realize what they had done last night? Would he lecture Hanbin about not using protection and offer him information on different condom brands? Would he want to hold Hanbin’s hand when he listed the psychological effects of losing one’s virginity to a one-night stand with a roommate had on a person?
When Hanbin came back to the bedroom after showering and changing into a fresh pair of clothes, Hao was awake. Still lounging in Hanbin’s bed, inspecting his precious plushies like he owned the place.
“What’s up?” was all Hao said to him.
What’s up? Is that what you say to people the morning after?
Feeling as anxious and awkward as he did the first day, Hanbin chose to leave the apartment. He could try talking to Hao later.
Well. Later is now, eighteen hours later. They haven’t spoken all day, thanks to Hanbin being an idiot, and the gap between them seems larger than ever. Hanbin’s not sure he can bring last night up now, considering that Gunwook is also in the room, although asleep.
At least Hanbin can sleep peacefully tonight. After sucking out Hao’s soul through his dick last night, there’s no way he’s going to be horny tonight.
A small part that Hanbin is desperately trying to suffocate is disappointed by the fact.
Hanbin’s wallowing doesn’t last long. No, just a few minutes later, he hears the familiar shuffling coming from Hao’s bed. Hanbin knows these sounds by now. It’s Hao pulling his pants down and getting in a comfortable position before he starts looking for a video.
He’s bolting off the bed before Hao has the chance to type twink getting pounded in the ass or hairy daddy joi asmr or whatever it is he’s in the mood tonight.
“Are you serious! You horny freak! How was last night not enough for you?” Hanbin whisper-shouts as he points an accusing finger at Hao, who just so happens to have Pornhub open on his phone. Hanbin really knows him so well.
Not waiting for an answer, he climbs straight into Hao’s bed. He may or may not hit his head on the ceiling when he climbs on top of Hao on all fours. It’s fine. Hao doesn’t even mention it.
“Uh. Did I wake you? Sorry,” Hao says, not sounding sorry at all.
“Hyung!” Hanbin yells. “I’ve already told you. I am not asleep. I hear everything. Every night.”
“Huh. Interesting.”
Hanbin chooses to ignore Hao’s annoying ass and gets straight to the point. “Do you wanna do it again?”
Wow. He really has no shame anymore. Is this what living with Zhang Hao does to a man?
“Yeah, sure,” Hao says nonchalantly, before pulling Hanbin’s head down and connecting their lips in a desperate kiss.
Hanbin is in heaven.
On the other side of the room, the sheets on Gunwook’s bed rustle. He pulls the duvet over his head to hide the light coming from his phone.
He opens Reddit and starts typing.
r/badroommates
u/gunzinthepark
UPDATE 4! My roommate won’t stop jerking off
Oh my fucking god. Now there’s two of them.