Work Text:
Ever since they were little, Katsuki Bakugou hated the rain.
But what started off as a simple fear of thunder had transformed into a full-blown aversion to the lousy weather in his later years. Izuku knew Katsuki didn’t like it when it rained, but, clearly, it jogged his memory just how much the boy truly despised it, now that they were here: cuddling under Izuku’s All Might covers in their shared apartment, a powerful storm raging outside. The blond snuggled in closer as another blinding strike of lightning illuminated his bedroom through the slats in his blinds, revealing their sleeping forms for a split-second. At that moment, Izuku knew he wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep tonight.
He wasn’t a total idiot, he knew why his best friend hated the rain. He had already analyzed him from head-to-toe, writing detailed reports in his Campus journals that nobody would see (Katsuki must have taken up at least 40 full pages, front and back, across all his notebooks), and so it was obvious: the rain made him feel helpless. With a quirk like Dynamight’s, which depended on the sweat his body released to turn into explosions, it would be practically useless in stormy weather, without his suit. Rain would wash away and dilute any sweat that the boy would need to use his quirk, leaving him completely open and vulnerable.
But, Izuku had to admit: he was getting pretty tired of this… arrangement. They had moved in together almost five years ago now, and, every summer when monsoon season came by, Katsuki would bust into Izuku’s room for his comfort on rainy nights. It was exhausting. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that Izuku Midoriya, the quirkless, nerdiest man in all of Japan, was head over heels in love with his best friend ever since he woke up in the hospital after the war, half of his head wrapped in bandages.
He could still remember how it felt. How horrifying it felt to wake up in the quiet of the sterile hospital room, dazed and afraid, with no idea if Katsuki was dead or alive. He didn’t realize how much his best friend meant to him until then, when he hobbled into his room in a catastrophic flurry, bandaged, with tubes and wires sticking out of him, having escaped his parents and the nurses and limping down the hospital halls just to find him. The relief was insurmountable. It hit his nervous system like a drug, his body instantly relaxed and he softened at the sight of the boy in the doorway, whose eyes were glassy with unshed tears. But, even when he finally sunk into the stiff mattress below him, tired down to his bones, a new wave of stress stirred in his chest.
It was heartbreak. Because he knew, deep down, that Katsuki would never feel the same. How could he, when he was the image of victory itself, so perfect, so amazing, and Izuku was just… well, Izuku? It was an impossibility. Izuku already looked at it from all angles, and there was no way, no hope of ever being beside Katsuki the way he truly wanted to.
That’s why, when the angry blond had initially woken him up in the middle of the night banging at his bedroom door, begging to be let in with that terrified look on his face, Izuku debated for the very first time in his life whether or not he should help a person in need. He wasn’t sure if he could deal with the reminder that he couldn’t have this, couldn’t want this. That, to Katsuki, Izuku was nothing but a friend.
Sometimes, he still thought about that first night:
“Can I sleep in your bed or not?” Katsuki had hurriedly demanded.
The storm outside surged, another torrent of rain slamming their flimsy apartment windows, and the blond no longer waited for an answer. He shoved past Izuku, infiltrating his bedroom, and dove into the bed, cozying up under the soft covers.
But Izuku remained at his bedroom door, watching with nervous confusion as the blond shamelessly fluffed his pillows and rearranged the blankets. Maybe this was all a dream.
Kacchan is still afraid of storms… Kacchan is in my bed… Is he kicking me out? Kacchan is hugging my All-Might plushie… Nevermind, he just wanted to throw it across the room. Oh my God, Kacchan is IN MY BED. Why is he in my bed?
He didn’t know which thought he should voice first, so he settled on voicing his doubts, like he usually did. After all, there was no way the Katsuki Bakugou wanted to spend the night in his bed with him, was there? Surely, he just meant that he preferred Izuku’s room until the storm passed… right?
“Uh, Kacchan? Where am I going to sleep?”
Katsuki looked up at him from the spot he had chosen on the queen-size bed, with an expression that could only be described as utterly offended.
“Hah? Right here, dumbass,” he explained, smacking the space next to him, as if it were obvious. “Why the fuck would I barge in here just to kick you out of your own room? Are you fucking with me? Do you think I want to sleep in here willingly?”
Oh. Izuku’s face burned. Of course not.
“No, no!” he stammered, waving his hands around like he always did when he got nervous. “It’s just—” he searched for the right words, but nothing seemed to be right. “I didn’t expect this from you, is all.”
Yeah, right. “Didn’t expect” was an understatement. This was something Izuku thought could only exist in his wildest dreams. There were a countless number of days he had spent entertaining the impossible in his mind while he was alone in his room, waiting for Katsuki to get back from a late-night hero shift so he could finally fall asleep, knowing that the man had safely made it home.
Honestly, this was almost exactly like one of the fantasies he’d have while waiting to hear the front door open and close with a soft click late at night. Izuku would be lying wide awake on his back in bed, unable to fall asleep until he knew for certain that the pro-hero had returned unscathed from a patrol. Some small, little sliver of his heart would always cling to the hope that Katsuki would be so tired one night that he’d accidentally wander into the wrong bedroom, flop onto the covers without a care in the world, and fall fast asleep right beside him.
But now, Izuku could see the reality: this wasn’t a dream come true at all. It was a nightmare. Could he survive a whole night in the same bed as the unrequited love of his life? Could his heart take it? Could his mind? He was going to have to, because he didn’t have the courage to refuse. There was simply no getting out of this now. And the blond was too proud to ever change his mind about anything, anyway. If Katsuki wanted to sleep in Izuku’s room, then by God would he do it, no matter how embarrassing it was.
“Tch, whatever. Just don’t touch me, got it?”
Izuku nodded. This was something he didn’t have to be told in the first place. He shut his bedroom door for the second time that night and hesitantly crawled into his own bed. He was careful not to brush up against the blond, who had turned the other way.
Now that he had returned under the covers and their conversation had stopped, the storm felt louder, more prominent with the sudden silence between them. It grumbled overhead, and for a split second, lightning flooded his room with light. He could feel Katsuki tense next to him, pulling more of the sheets close to himself. Izuku made a mental note to replace the curtains in the house with blackout ones.
More thunder rumbled someplace nearby, and the rain suddenly increased in its intensity. Heavy droplets hit their roof so hard that it sounded less like raindrops and more like frozen peas falling from the sky. A frightened whimper escaped Katsuki, and Izuku’s heart lurched. He chanced a look over at his best friend, only to see that he was curled in on himself, with one hand over his ear in an attempt to drown out the noise.
How can I comfort him in a way that he won’t hate? I’ve never seen him like this… I can’t stand seeing him look so defeated… But he wouldn’t like it if I tried to spoon him, right? Yeah, probably not.
But Izuku didn’t have to think anymore about trying to coax the bratty blond into a cuddling position, because, like Zeus himself had appeared just outside their apartment complex, thunder struck again, so loud that the walls of their apartment shook. Katsuki practically flew, throwing an arm and a leg over Izuku’s body. He was trembling.
“K-Kacchan?!”
Don’t get a boner, don’t get a boner, don’t get a boner. Now is NOT the time to be getting a boner!
The blond’s grip turned threateningly vice-like. “Speak a word of this to anyone and I’ll kill you, nerd!”
It was going to be a long night.
—
Izuku awoke the next morning tired. His eyelids were heavy still, and his body even heavier. Actually, his body was so heavy that it felt like he couldn’t move. He tried an arm with no luck, but, before the panic could set in about his newfound paralyzation, he heard it: the soft breathing in his neck. He felt it too, their gentle breeze hitting the skin of his collar in rhythm, with comforting warmth. The rain had stopped.
He peeked down at Katsuki, craning his neck ever so slightly so as not to wake the sleeping boy. He looked like an angel, nothing like how he appeared when he was awake. Izuku had never seen the blond so at peace, so vulnerable. He was entirely snuggled up, with one arm thrown over Izuku’s chest and a leg hiked up to Izuku’s thighs.
Sunlight was reaching through the crevices of his blinds, stretching across the room. Everything felt perfectly good and silent now, save for the small breaths in his ear that tickled his skin. A band of light laid perfectly over Katsuki’s face, and the blond looked like he glowed, his light hair almost turning to gold under the sun.
Wow, he’s beautiful, Izuku thought, resisting the urge to reach one scarred hand up to gently stroke his cheek. He pushed the urge down someplace deep, stamping the desire out and locking it away in a heart-shaped box.
This must be what heaven is like… Or maybe hell.
Any feeling left in his arm was now long-gone, past the point of that uncomfortable, tingling, pinprick sensation. Izuku had endured much worse before, though. Hell, he could sit here like this for the whole day, trying to memorize the sound of Katsuki’s breathing and the way he enveloped Izuku’s body so perfectly. But, before he could admire his best friend any longer, his alarm went off, because of course it did.
“I AM HERE! I AM HERE! I AM HERE!” it blared.
Shit shit shit shit shit—
He scrambled to reach for his phone on his nightstand with his free arm, but it was difficult without moving the rest of his body, pinned under the sleeping boy’s weight.
“I AM HERE! I AM HERE! I AM HERE!”
Don’t wake up, please don’t wake up, just five more minutes—
But it was too late, Katsuki was wide awake now. He groaned, and Izuku shivered at the low tone of his morning voice.
“Ughhh, Izuku… the fuck is with your alarm?” he said, stretching. Izuku tried not to be disappointed when the blond pulled away. The loss of warmth felt like more than just a temperature drop, it felt like emptiness, too.
“It’s just… All Might.”
Katsuki scoffed. “I know. Fucking nerd.”
And then, like nothing had happened, he shook his blond hair out, got out of the bed, and left the room.
Izuku sat there for a while after that, alone in his room, as the feeling slowly returned to his arm.
What the fuck. What the fuck. What. The. Fuck.
Aside from the fact that Katsuki was either playing it cool, or he really was unbothered about cuddling the whole night in Izuku’s bed, Izuku wondered why he seemed to be the only one freaking out about it.
Was it as big of a deal as he was making it out to be? Was it a normal thing to comfort your best friend in your bed all night, one who hates your physical touch?
No, Izuku reminded himself. It was nothing, he was just scared. Nothing more, nothing less…
…But would he have asked any of our other friends for comfort, if it wasn’t me who lived in this apartment with him?
That was something he didn’t want to imagine.
—
Day after rainy day passed, and suddenly an entire month had gone by of Katsuki getting the best sleep of his life, and Izuku getting the worst of his.
He didn’t really know how it got to this point (partly because he was still in disbelief after all these weeks that his best friend came into his room each rainy night to sleep with him), but he figured it had something to do with him being a bit of a pushover. Alright, a huge pushover.
He knew the option to turn the blond down was there, but it didn’t really feel like it was. Izuku would probably feel worse living with the guilt of kicking Katsuki out of his room than he did now, running on only around two to four hours of sleep after every night it rained, and that was saying something. When Izuku didn’t get enough sleep, it showed.
“You look horrible, Midoriya-sensei,” Kota stated, always one to speak his mind. The class began to talk amongst themselves, agreeing that yes, Mr. Midoriya does look terrible today, and wow, his eyebags look like they have eyebags themselves, you can even see it from the back of the class!
Izuku sighed and rubbed his temples, trying to soothe the building headache. He loved his students, but… disciplining them about classroom etiquette was just something he didn’t have the energy for. Not that they would listen.
“OK, OK, everyone! I’ll let you go early for lunch today,” he announced, hoping that this would distract his students from his apparent ugliness. It worked of course (there was no better way to grab your students’ attention than to promise an early release to the cafeteria), and everybody cleared out in an instant. He sunk down into his chair, letting his tense muscles go limp. Finally, a moment of peace.
Maybe I should just eat sleep for lunch today, he thought, eyelids fluttering shut. Yes. That way, I don’t have to think about anything…
No Katsuki, no students… no rain… just peace and quiet.
He slumped over his desk, his breaths steadying, slowing, softening…
His body completely relaxed.
Finally.
“YOUNG MIDORIYA!” A voice boomed.
Izuku shot up from his seat, sending a stack of ungraded essays flying. A pen that had stuck to his cheek peeled off and clattered to the floor. He had been caught.
Toshinori stood at his classroom door, brows furrowed with worry. It wasn’t often that All Might frowned.
“What’s wrong, my boy?”
Izuku winced. He must look terrible.
“It’s…” Kind of hard to explain. “It’s nothing, All Might.”
The man gave him a stern look.
“It’s obviously not nothing, Midoriya. I haven’t seen you this way since…” he trailed off. He didn’t need to finish the sentence, it was clear what words were meant to be there.
The war.
It was true that after the war Izuku had felt… different. I mean, how could he not? It was traumatizing for every single one of his classmates. But, unlike the others, he had to deal with the added symptoms of a broken heart. He was beyond depressed, to say the least.
“Well, it’s kind of… an unusual problem. And complicated.” Izuku averted his gaze, avoiding the way All Might’s expression changed to one of understanding.
“I see. Is it about young Bakugou?” he questioned, voice softening.
Izuku nodded his confirmation, and Toshinori pulled a seat from one of the student desks up to sit across from him.
All Might had been the only one who could truly comfort him through those long days of recovery at the hospital. Sure, there was his mother, his classmates, and even Katsuki, but none of them knew how he felt inside. But Toshinori knew. After weeks of gentle coaxing to get Izuku to open up to him, he finally confessed about his feelings for the explosive boy. From then on, All Might took care of him, finding ways to distract his traumatized young pupil or lending him a listening ear.
“You can tell me what happened, Midoriya,” he stated, as a reminder. “And we can grab you a coffee from the break room after. Extra sugar.”
Izuku chuckled. “Do I really look that bad?”
All Might scratched his head. “Well… you certainly don’t look well-rested.”
Yeah, I definitely look bad.
—
From down the hall, Izuku heard their apartment door creak open, the click of the lock, and the jingle of keys being placed in their little glass dish on the table. Tired, heavy footsteps thudded down the hall, inching closer and closer to his room, and his heart suddenly picked up the pace.
“Remember, Midoriya,” All Might had told him in the teacher’s lounge earlier. “Sometimes, we need to be a hero for our own selves, too.”
Izuku took a thoughtful sip of his coffee, processing what he had just been told.
“Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?”
He dejectedly shook his head no, and All Might paused for a moment as he searched for a way to rephrase his sentiment. It took a worryingly long amount of time, and for a split second, Izuku felt hopeless all over again, before Toshinori finally spoke:
“I mean that you need to allow yourself to have some proper boundaries,” he explained. “It’s OK if you don’t want to comfort young Bakugou from the storms. No one is going to think any less of you as a hero.”
Oh. Izuku took another sip from his “World’s #1 Teacher" mug. But that’s just the thing…
Part of me doesn’t want this to end.
The footsteps passed his room and continued into the next room over, Katsuki’s room. There was no rain at the moment. Maybe the weather would be clear tonight.
His heart thundered in his chest.
Fuck. Please rain. Please please please please please—
Izuku sat there for a moment, staring up at his ceiling with that dumb kind of optimism, thinking that maybe, maybe, if he pleaded hard enough, rain would come. If he couldn’t have Katsuki, maybe he could at least have him like this, even if it was shitty. But nothing came. He was pathetic.
It was wrong, it was gross, it was sinful to be happy about this whole situation. Katsuki was suffering and all Izuku could think was how happy it made him to have the blond in his arms at night, to have one more chance to see that charming sleeping face in the morning, even when he was drooling all over Izuku’s shoulder. Fuck.
He shucked the covers off in frustration. Sleep used to be so easy for him. All he had to do was stay up, exhausting himself in the process, and drift off to dreamland the moment he heard the front door. That didn’t mean there weren’t nights that went by without his recurring nightmare (watching his best friend die from bursting his own heart in the middle of battle), but, even then, he’d get sleep, whether it was restful or not.
Damn it, what was happening to him? Everything felt wrong. It was like his mind and his heart were at war. Logic usually took over for him, but he must’ve been pretty weak-willed if his heart started winning the fight all because his best friend slept in the same bed as him.
OK, then. New plan. Izuku got up and made a beeline for their bathroom down the hall. Quietly, he switched on the nightlight plugged into the wall, and opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror.
Was this a good idea? No. But was Izuku fed up with not getting good sleep and willing to do whatever it takes now to get just one night of restful sleep in? Yes. God, yes. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to do this every night. Just tonight, that was it. Just enough to not feel like a zombie on his way to work every morning. To not feel like his eyelids were waging a war against him. To not feel.
Besides, there wasn’t a single thing a cocktail of pills couldn’t fix, Izuku had learned, after years of breaking bones.
Benadryl, Benadryl, where are you, Benadryl?
“Izuku?”
Geez, he must be in a severe state of sleep deprivation if the medicine cabinet was talking to him now. He dug around the first shelf, pills rattling as he twirled all the bottles to check their labels.
Acetaminophen, antacid, dramamine…
“Izuku? Hello? What the hell are you doing?”
Oh, nevermind. That was Kacchan’s voice. Shit.
He turned around.
“Huh? Oh, I was just uh—” he grabbed the ibuprofen off the second shelf, “I had a headache.”
Which wasn’t a total lie. It felt like he had been sporting a mild headache for two weeks straight now.
“Oh, OK. Well, I have to pee.”
His face burned, and he hoped it wasn’t visible in the low light. “Right. Sorry.” He mumbled, hurrying out to the kitchen with his painkillers, mentally kicking himself. And then, as if this night wasn’t going badly enough already, Izuku heard the soft pattering of rain begin to hit their apartment complex. God fucking damnit.
He poured himself a glass of water and downed two of the small brown pills, wincing when they formed an uncomfortable little lump in his throat.
“Izuku, what’s taking you so damn long? Hurry the fuck up!” Katsuki called, undoubtedly from his bedroom and under the superhero-themed covers already.
He reopened the bottle of ibuprofen and added a third pill to the mix.
—
Summers have passed.
Each monsoon season went by with Izuku losing more and more of his sanity. It rained on-and-off nearly every day of monsoon season, and in the daytime Izuku would fret for hours about the pro-hero’s shift as he watched it pour from outside his classroom window, only to continue stressing throughout the night as Katsuki crawled into his bed when another storm began.
Now, he had to admit: it was partly his fault.
I mean, did he start leaving his door open at night so Katsuki could come in without knocking? Yes. Did he buy an extra-soft pillow because the blond preferred fluffy ones over Izuku’s rock-solid ones? Yes. And did he get a cooling blanket for what he now proclaimed was “Katsuki’s side of the bed” because the blond runs a little warmer than most? Also yes.
OK, so it was mostly Izuku’s fault that this has gone on for so long. He should have addressed this with Katsuki a long time ago, he knows, but… he just couldn’t. Selfishly, he had been putting his own stupid feelings first instead of the irrational fear of his best friend. And he had the nerve to enjoy it, too. The start of monsoon season was always hard, but when they finally got back into their rhythm, sleeping with Katsuki became easy again.
But today, June 15th, he had decided: today would be the day that this would all end. He had to do it. He had to. He even marked it on his calendar at work with a big red circle, all in capital letters: TELL KACCHAN “NO.”
That’s right. Today, he would sit Kacchan down at the kitchen table, open up a discussion about his loss of sleep, and suggest, no, insist on alternative ways for him to deal with the storms. He had even researched all the best sleep psychologists and exposure therapists in the area, although he didn’t expect the blond to be very happy about it. But he had done it, just in case. And he was going to march into their shared kitchen before his early-bird best friend could get up, fix them both a cup of coffee (Katsuki’s was straight black, only enjoyed once a month per his cardiologist’s orders, and Izuku’s was a splash of milk and pinch of sugar), and wait for him at their shitty IKEA table, guzzling his caffeine for comfort.
Yes, he would make sure everything would go to plan. The only minor obstacle that stood in his way would be to detangle himself from their mess of limbs when he woke up, but he had been practicing slipping away from the blond. He was a light sleeper, although he had been sleeping rather soundly through the past few monsoon seasons. Every time Izuku introduced something new into their little summer routine, like blackout curtains or fresh cotton sheets (it was time he retired his All Might polyester ones, anyway), Katsuki seemed to get even more comfortable at night, drifting away faster and waking up less at odd morning hours. It was really cute.
No, no! It’s not cute. Izuku shook the thought from his mind. He was already losing focus.
OK… it’s a little cute.
It was time. 5:15 AM, a full hour before Katsuki ever gets up. He had set his watch to wake him up, putting the alarm on vibrate so that he wouldn’t wake Katsuki. He stirred and willed himself to stay conscious. The shock of steadily increasing adrenaline coursing through his body was enough to help him begin to rouse, anyway. He might have fought countless villains and even taken down the most dangerous of them all, but that wasn’t nearly as scary as what he would have to do today.
But in his sleepy haze, he felt himself begin to wriggle around. He didn’t know why. He just did. Somebody groaned to his right.
Oh yeah, Kacchan.
Ugh, but why was he wriggling around so much? Izuku was going to wake the man up, at this point, and that absolutely could not happen. It would foil his plan, and he would have to work up all his courage again to have the talk tomorrow instead. No, he would say it today. He would make sure of it.
The wriggling pulled more noises from Katsuki, and the slivers of early morning sunlight that cast a glow behind his eyelids finally sparked lucidity. The covers suddenly felt too hot, too suffocating, too everything. He blinked awake and looked down at the source of his wriggling.
Oh fuck.
He had morning wood.
Of course. The one day he had planned to get up first, to sneak out from their warm cocoon that felt like heaven, was the one day when all those maneuvers he had worked on to slither out of Katsuki’s persistent, inescapable spooning would go to waste.
Yes, he had woken up with hard-ons before during the monsoons. But he had always ignored it, feigning sleep until Katsuki left the room. If the blond ever did notice his… natural phenomenon, he surely hadn’t mentioned it. They were both men, anyway. They understood that it just happened.
Today, however, it had left him with one more obstacle to account for. And it was a rather tricky one, at that. Every morning after the storm had passed, he would wake up exactly the same: Izuku on his back, Katsuki on his side, and cuddled into Izuku’s left arm, clinging to him like a koala cub to its mother. His leg was, without fail, always strewn over Izuku’s body, his thick thigh covering his navel, and his knee bent and splitting Izuku’s legs apart.
So, his boner was right there. Under Kacchan’s leg. Fuck.
Maybe if he just moved around a little—
Gently, he tested a wiggle of his hips—just to see if there was any leniency in Kacchan’s hold. But there was nothing. The blond mumbled something incoherent in his sleep, and he held his breath, as if the very act of breathing would be the catalyst to Katsuki’s awakening. He twitched, snored, and stilled again. Izuku exhaled.
Shoot, I need to lift his leg. There’s no other way.
He carefully placed a hand on Katsuki’s leg. Normally, Izuku woke up with the covers kicked off (courtesy of Kacchan) and trembling from the cold. His arms would be especially frigid, partly due to the nerve damage after years of repeatedly breaking bones. But now he felt sticky, encased with a thin layer of anxiety sweat. His palm actually felt so slick that he felt like he needed to pray—because if he was going to do this, he couldn’t risk dropping the blond’s leg.
Please don’t wake up.
He shimmied his hand between Katsuki’s knee and his own stomach, trying to get a good hold on his knee, but not too firm of a hold.
Don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up—
Hesitantly, he gave an experimental squeeze.
Katsuki groaned and nuzzled in closer. Izuku peeked down at him as the blond readjusted himself, rubbing a cheek into Izuku’s shoulder, a line of drool dribbling past his lips. His face had twisted into a grimace, but as soon as he seemingly found himself comfortable again with Izuku as his pillow, he relaxed and went limp.
Izuku’s heart skipped a beat.
Fuck, that’s so cute! Go down, boner! Go down!
He should have just gave it up. Clearly this was all a sign of some sort, or a weird form of penance for finding guilty pleasure in being the one who gets his friend to sleep through the storms at night. But he didn’t. He pushed too far, picking Katsuki’s leg back up again, slowly trying to slide out from under him, and waking the blond up in the process.
He yawned in Izuku’s ear and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, turning to look and—
And spotting Izuku’s hands gripping the meat of his thigh, right next to his boner.
Izuku yelped and let go, dropping Katsuki’s leg directly onto his crotch. He hissed in pain, but he had to ignore it, because right now, there were bigger problems than him bruising his dick on his best friend’s knee. Katsuki scrambled off of him.
“S-sorry for waking you, Kacchan! I just wanted to get out of bed, that’s why I was lifting your leg, and, um, sorry. I wasn’t trying to be weird. I really didn’t mean to,” he finished, lamely. His sentences sounded incomprehensible even to his own ears. He had rambled the string of words together so quickly, and with that nervous stutter he gets when he’s flustered, of which there was no doubt he was. Izuku felt hot from the tips of his ears right down to his toes with embarrassment.
But Katsuki didn’t seem to care about his apologies, or the fact that he just kneed Deku in the penis. He just screwed his face up into its usual scowl and said, “The hell are you up so early for on a Saturday, you damn nerd?”
Izuku blinked. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t that. Maybe some yelling, a few tossed pillows, or even a “get that thing away from me, you pervert!” But this? It was unsettlingly tame.
“Um… I had to pee.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He got up from his side of the bed, cooling blanket falling to the floor. “I’m awake now, so I’m gonna go make breakfast. Pancakes sound good?”
“Uh,” Izuku smartly replied. “Yes.”
He watched Katsuki go out into the hall, careful to not let his gaze wander too low. The blond only ever slept in boxers, and he still complained of the heat at night. It drove Izuku crazy, and not just because he woke up in a puddle of potentially explosive sweat every morning. He bit his knuckles as an alternative to screaming into his pillow.
But he wouldn’t let his efforts go to waste. Not even if he just broke the record for one of the Top 3 Most Embarrassing Things To Ever Happen To Him, or if his plan (Operation Reject Katsuki) was already thrown completely off track. He had to tell him. Izuku took some deep, calming breaths, and dragged himself out of the bed.
He strode into the kitchen with newfound determination. Katsuki was there with an apron on over his shirt (he must have grabbed one from his room after he left, much to Izuku’s disappointment), and mixing pancake batter together in a bowl, but he wouldn’t let the promise of Katsuki’s delicious pancakes distract him.
“Kacchan, I actually have something important to tell you,” he said. He dug his nails into his palm, but it didn’t help get the words out any easier.
The blond stayed put at the counter, tossing mini chocolate chips into the mixing bowl. “OK.”
Izuku seated himself at their kitchen table, a flimsy little IKEA set fit for two. It wasn’t very sturdy, but it did its job. “No, we need to talk,” he reiterated. “Um, like a serious discussion. Face to face.”
Katsuki put his mixing on pause, setting his whisk down in the bowl, but kept his back turned to Izuku. His shoulders suddenly seemed more tense, the tie of the apron bunching around his neck. “About what?”
“Sit at the table first. Please?” Izuku requested, trying to sound as innocent as possible.
Katsuki sighed, but complied nonetheless. He sat across from Izuku with his arms crossed, looking away from him. Izuku tried to ignore the nice way his muscles bulged, his shirt stretching over them tightly. And how the irritated crease between his brows actually made him look more hot, not constipated. And the way his Adam's apple bobbed when their gazes met for just a fraction of a second. And—
Izuku closed his eyes.
You need to focus. Focus, focus, focus.
So he just went ahead and said it: “I think you need to do exposure therapy.”
Katsuki’s brows shot up, like whatever he was expecting Izuku to say couldn’t be more different than what he did say. “The fuck do I need exposure therapy for?”
Izuku flinched at his tone, but continued to force the words out. “For your fear of storms.”
There was a noticeable shift in Katsuki’s demeanor. He looked more worried, more panicked, now. Izuku thought that this might happen. The website said that for someone to confront their fears, it would be difficult to convince them during an intervention, especially if they felt cornered or offended. They might start with denial:
“I think I’m doing fine.”
“No.” Izuku adamantly shook his head. “You’re not. You’ve been coming into my room at night whenever a storm rolls in. I don’t like seeing you so stressed.”
Katsuki clenched his jaw so hard it would be unsurprising if he cracked a tooth. “Well I’m not going to therapy. I’ll manage.”
“Why not?” Izuku ground out. This was going just about as well as he thought it would. “Because there’s no good reason not to get help.”
“Fuck, I just don’t want to stop sleeping in your room, OK?” Katsuki replied, squeezing a fist on the table.
But Izuku kept pushing. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around it. “But why?!” he screamed, throwing his hands up, all patience lost. Katsuki seemed to have that effect on him, because he could drain his patience in a matter of seconds. “Why do you want to keep sleeping in my room?!”
Katsuki scowled deeper than usual. “I just don’t want to stop, is that so hard to understand?!”
“Yes, it is! I’m losing sleep over this! So unless you have a good reason—”
“Well why the fuck is it so hard to sleep next to me, huh?” Katsuki fumed. “You’ve let me do this for years! You haven’t made it clear that this was a problem until now.”
Izuku floundered for a good response, but there was no good combination of words that existed he could use to answer such a question. So he didn’t. “Well what am I supposed to think? You always brush things off like they never happen! Every year when the monsoon season ends, you go back to pretending like you didn’t spend the entire summer in my bed!”
Katsuki reddened. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Izuku didn’t know. “Would you rather I acted awkward about it? Would you rather I avoid you? Because I know damn well you would go around moping and looking all sad like a lost puppy all day if we went back to the way we used to be.”
“Ugh, no!” Izuku put his head in his hands, his fingers coiling tightly through soft curls. “Do you even understand what I’m trying to tell you right now? I’m telling you that I’m worried about you! Because I care about you! But you don’t tell me anything! You don’t even try to help me understand what you’re thinking.”
“Ugh, fuck…” Katsuki stayed quiet for a moment. “Hypocrite,” he muttered, under his breath. Izuku opted to ignore it for the time being, because he couldn’t really argue with that. “I don’t know how to tell you how I feel outright, Izuku. It’s just… really fucking confusing for me, OK? But I’m not going to therapy.”
Izuku’s anger flared again. “And why not?” He slammed a fist into the table. “Katsuki, do you even know how much sleep I’ve lost trying to help you each summer? You’re really… really fucking oblivious!”
Katsuki seethed. “I’m not oblivious, you’re just a fucking pushover!”
Electricity crackled around Izuku’s body as his anger suddenly boiled over. He couldn’t contain it anymore. He leapt across the kitchen table with the remnants of Full Cowling, tackling the blond to the ground. “You’re such an asshole! I hate you so much sometimes!”
“Fuck, Deku! Stop!” Katsuki screamed, barely holding one of Izuku’s fists back from connecting with his eye. “I’m sorry, OK?! I’m fucking sorry! Do you think I don’t know I’m an asshole?!”
“Well, I don't forgive you!” Izuku continued to straddle him, balling his hands up in Katsuki’s shirt when he couldn’t land a hit on him. “I can't even talk to our friends about it. You’d die of embarrassment if they knew you’re scared of the rain!”
Katsuki struggled beneath him, desperate to escape.“Fucking let go of me!”
“No!” Izuku shouted back. He kept wrestling him. He wouldn’t let go until he got some kind of an explanation. Knowing Katsuki, it could take hours, but he would sit on him for as long as it takes.
“Izuku, I swear to god—”
“Shut up! I’m trying to help you! But you never want my help because you’re a fucking coward!”
That one seemed to get to Katsuki, because he socked Izuku square in the jaw.
Izuku recoiled, holding the spot where Katsuki punched him to ease the shock of pain. It usually ebbed away by now. He’d been through much worse. But his irritation only fueled the ugly feeling. His anger skyrocketed. He pinned Katsuki down by the throat, using both hands to squeeze, not hard enough to kill, but hard enough to shut him up.
“Katsuki,” he stated, through grit teeth. He could feel the blond’s pulse quicken under his fingertips. Katsuki clawed at the scarred hands choking him. “Fucking listen to me. You need to stop being afraid of looking weak. You’re driving me insane. I can’t take any more of this, I just can’t. I can’t have you in my room anymore. You need to find another way to manage. If you won’t let me help you, then your fear of rain is not my fucking responsibility.”
Katsuki coughed. He was looking a little red.
Oh shit, Izuku realized. I started choking him harder.
He loosened his grip, and the blond gasped.
“Fuck. I’m so sorry Kacchan—”
“I’m not fucking scared of the rain, damnit!” Katsuki wheezed out, cutting his apology short. The pinkness of his face slowly cooled to its natural color. “I’m fucking not.”
…What?
Izuku stared down at him quietly. What did he mean he wasn’t scared of the rain? Since when? Did he get it all wrong from the start? It didn’t make any sense.
Katsuki was panting now, breathing so hard from all the yelling and from getting strangled that he was losing his breath. “Can we just drop this?”
Izuku faltered. He thought he knew everything about his best friend, he had 40 pages of analysis on him, for fuck’s sake. So how could he be so wrong? And if Katsuki wasn't afraid of the rain, then—
“Why do you sleep with me every night it rains?”
Below him, Katsuki blushed deep red again, even though he wasn’t being choked anymore. Izuku could feel the blond’s heart beat impossibly faster under his hands, he let go of his neck completely now, dragging his hands down and placing them gently on Katsuki’s chest instead. Unnecessary stress was bad for Katsuki's heart.
“Kacchan, just say something. Anything. I know you’re bad at words. But I’m bad at reading between the lines. So if you could just help me out this time, then…” he trailed off. There wasn't much else to say.
But Katsuki stayed quiet below him. It was unusual. He was normally vocal about how he felt. So why wasn’t he now?
“Is it something else? Are you having nightmares?” Izuku asked, hoping to coax an answer out of him. “Because I get them, too.”
Katsuki chuckled, and Izuku melted at the sound. “I know, nerd. You kick me some nights. It’s not that, but I get them, too. Bad dreams about Shigaraki winning. About watching you dissolve into nothing, or seeing every bone in your body broken. When I saw you on that TV with your arms fucking missing… shit, it fucking haunts me.”
“Kacchan, I… I didn't know—”
“Yeah, there’s a lot of things you don't know. So stop trying to read between the lines and overanalyze everything. Just… just fucking think. Why the fuck would someone sleep next to their friend at night? Their friend who is the loudest snorer in all of Japan?”
Izuku flushed. “Ugh, I— you’re the one who chooses to sleep in my room! If you don’t like it, go back to your own bed!”
“No,” Katsuki resolutely said, pouting.
“Then help me understand!” Izuku yanked him up by the shirt, nostrils flaring, and Katsuki scrambled for something to grab. His hands landed on Izuku’s thigh. He tried not to shiver. They permeated heat even through the thickness of his sweatpants.
“I told you to fucking think. You said it yourself, I'm bad with words. But I'm fucking trying. This is what I can give you. Think.”
So Izuku did.
Why would someone sleep next to their friend at night, if not for comfort? Why? Why? Why—
“Do you maybe… uhhh—” Izuku stopped himself. No, he couldn't ask that question. He couldn't. Not only was it embarrassing, it was scary.
Do you maybe have feelings for me?
He didn't want to hear all the words Katsuki would say when he rejected him. He didn't want to see the disgust on his face.
“Do I what?” Katsuki asked. His hands felt like they got tighter and hotter against Izuku’s thighs, but it might just be his imagination.
“Do you get too hot at night? We can have a fan installed.”
Katsuki groaned. “You’re a moron… I thought you were good at reading people. I know you’ve got pages and pages of analysis on me. So stop being stupid and think harder.”
Izuku was so fed up he was ready to cry.
“I don’t… I don’t know,” he choked. A wave of warmth settled behind his eyes. He let go of Katsuki’s shirt to wipe away the tears, and Katsuki sat up all the way now, hands moving up to Izuku’s waist.
“Shit, you damn nerd…”
Then there was a hand on his face. A hand that wasn’t his own, and it was scorching hot and sweaty, but Izuku didn't really mind. The heat was nice, even if it was Katsuki’s. Especially if it was Katsuki’s.
“Do you really not get it? Not get why I—” Katsuki paused, and through blurry tears Izuku could see his eyebrows furrow the way they did when he was thinking.
“Izuku, why do you think someone who hates when his friends hug him would want to cuddle their friend all night?”
“I don’t know, Kacchan,” Izuku rasped. “If you can’t use words to explain, then—then show me. Do something. I really can't take this anymore, I—”
The hand on his cheek that was brushing away tears had moved. Katsuki’s thumb grazed a little farther, and with a feather light touch, he traced the ridge of Izuku’s cupid bow.
“I want to show you. But…”
“But what?” Izuku whispered, entranced. Katsuki’s red eyes, which were usually fiery and intense, had softened like the glow of a firefly.
“I don’t want to fuck things up. Don’t want you to hate me again.”
Izuku laughed through tears. The thought of hating Katsuki, really, truly hating him, sounded ridiculous in his mind. “I don’t think that’s possible, Kacchan. I mean, sometimes I momentarily hate you, but it’s not like the kind of hate that would make me want to stop being your friend. I could never hate you. I never did.”
For some reason, instead of looking relieved, Katsuki looked hurt.
“It’s good to be friends again, nerd, but…” he paused, as though contemplating something. Izuku’s breath hitched. Maybe this was it. Maybe he’d convinced Katsuki to finally open up. He tried not to breathe too hard. Of course, breathing had no effect on whether the blonde would actually speak his mind or not, but it felt like something as small as filling his lungs with air could throw everything off course.
“Are you sure you can’t hate me?”
“I mean, maybe if you killed my dog or something, but—” Izuku stopped. Katsuki wasn’t paying attention to him. His red eyes were stuck someplace else, someplace lower.
He was staring at his lips.
Before he could even think about what that meant, Katsuki put one hand at Izuku’s nape and the other grabbed at the front of his “T-shirt” shirt, and pulled. And, for a short moment, their mouths collided.
It was a messy, unpracticed kiss. Teeth clacked together upon collision, and they both stood awkwardly still with their lips just touching for a few seconds until Katsuki pulled away. Honestly, it wasn’t much of a kiss, but it still set his body on fire.
“Do you hate me now, Izuku?”
Izuku was too dazed to reply. Katsuki just pulled him in again, and again and again and again. These kisses were longer, more feverish, and Izuku could hardly keep up. Blood rushed to his head so quickly that he felt dizzy. They fell into a rhythm that defeated their prior awkwardness, pushing and pulling and ebbing and flowing like they always knew how to kiss each other. Or maybe they just knew the way they wanted to kiss each other, like they were starved for one another.
“Come on, Izuku. Fucking say something. Say you hate me,” he said, between kisses.
“I… I can’t,” Izuku breathlessly replied, eyelids fluttered shut from their kissing.
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because I don’t hate you.”
Katsuki let Izuku go and thunked his head back down onto the floor, sighing.
“OK.”
“OK what?” Izuku asked.
“Just… OK. Fuck. Get off of me now.”
Izuku complied. Without another word, Katsuki stood up and turned around, heading for the hall.
“Where are you going?”
“My room.”
They didn’t speak for the rest of the day. It was awkward, to say the least. So, so fucking awkward. Actually, they didn’t just not talk, but Izuku didn’t see Katsuki come out of his room even once after the kiss. Izuku roamed around their apartment restlessly for hours, hoping that the blond would at least leave for a snack.
He just had so much more he wanted to say. So much more he wanted to ask. Namely, what the fuck, and, are you going to move out now?
But, most of all, he kept thinking back to their kiss. Kisses. Plural.
Holy fucking shit, they kissed. Multiple times. And it was good. Really good. Well, how could it not be? It was better than anything Izuku could have ever imagined. But Katsuki ran off afterwards, and he was the one who initiated. Was Izuku… a bad kisser? Was Katsuki playing some sort of shitty prank? No, that didn’t seem like something he would do.
But the thought of Katsuki liking Izuku felt stupid, unimaginable, a total fantasy, whatever you want to call it. Maybe Katsuki was having gay thoughts? Was he confused? Maybe he didn’t like Izuku at all, but he wanted someone to fuck with.
Ugh, no. I have to stop thinking before I spiral. Katsuki wouldn’t do those things. He wouldn’t do anything unless he wanted to.
Izuku chewed his lip. Whatever it meant, today was the day he had decided he would resolve everything. He would just sit at the kitchen table, which admittedly earned a giant crack down the middle from their little scuffle earlier, and hope Katsuki would come by so he could talk to him again. He’d give the man as much time to cool down in his room as he needed first, and when he inevitably comes back down the hall, Izuku will have every word he wanted to say memorized down to the letter.
But the apartment got darker.
And darker.
And darker.
The clock read 9:42 PM. It was way past Katsuki’s bedtime. He was probably asleep already, and still Izuku was there like a fool at the kitchen table, thinking the blond might come out any minute now.
I mean really, didn’t Katsuki have to pee? Was he even in his room at all anymore, or did he go out the window? Maybe this was all a sign of some sort. Izuku tried, and that’s what matters. If Katsuki didn’t want to see him anymore, then… well, Izuku might need some therapy himself. But he’d live. Hopefully.
He got up from the table.
So that was it, then. He’d better start searching for therapists.
He shut the kitchen light off and went to his room, eerily quiet without their sound machine playing. The blackout curtains weren’t drawn yet, and even though night had fallen, the starlight was enough to make everything feel too bright.
Then the biggest monsoon they’ve had in summers shook their apartment walls.
Izuku couldn’t even remember the last time they had a storm this bad. Maybe over a decade ago, before he met All Might and became a hero. It was bad enough that even Izuku was starting to get scared. The sound of the whistling winds whipping around the apartment complex were so loud he thought they’d be swept away like Dorothy. Although landing in some fantasyland like the Land of Oz or Munchkin Country didn’t sound too bad at the moment. But he was also a bit happy about the shitty weather. (He’s terrible, he knows.) It was a blessing in disguise, a second chance. There was no way Katsuki wouldn’t come to his room now, was there?
Apparently there was. Izuku waited until he finally couldn’t take it anymore, which either meant that only five minutes had passed, or maybe a whole hour. Maybe Katsuki wasn’t lying when he said he was no longer afraid of the rain. But either way, Izuku got up and marched over to Katsuki’s room. He knocked on the door and waited. Between torrents of rain and a clap of thunder, Izuku heard the creak of Katsuki twisting in his bed. He was awake.
“Kacchan?” Izuku called, cracking the door open a bit. “Can I come in?”
It was silent for just a second. Then:
“What do you want, nerd?”
Izuku invited himself in fully now, and shut the bedroom door behind him.
“Um,” he lamely began. “I was worried about you. This storm is bad and you didn’t come over, so I thought I should check on you. And I…” he trailed off.
“What?”
“It felt weird not having you there,” he admitted. He wasn’t lying. He felt just like a dog, waiting for a treat at the ring of a bell.
Katsuki sighed. He flipped his covers over and gestured to the spot beside him. Izuku just stared.
“Well?” Katsuki cocked a brow.
It was all the convincing Izuku needed to dive into the right side of the bed. He crawled over the sheets clumsily and slid under the duvet. Katsuki pulled the covers back up.
“Thanks, Kacchan.”
Katsuki huffed. “Whatever.”
His back was turned to Izuku. He stared at it, studying the way the blond’s shoulders flexed and rose with every breath. But a jarringly loud clap of thunder boomed overhead, and he felt Katsuki stiffen beside him. Even Izuku’s breath hitched. For a moment, a flash of anxiety bubbled up through his chest, that maybe this terrible storm was all the work of some kind of villain, but it was only a fleeting thought.
It was the rain, and nothing else.
It was the rain, but it was terrorizing Katsuki unlike any villain they’d ever fought before.
“Um, we can cuddle, if you want—”
There wasn’t any hesitation. Katsuki flipped back over and squashed Izuku into the tightest cuddle yet.
Izuku tried not to breathe. Katsuki’s neck was right there. With the way he was being squeezed, he couldn’t breathe all that much, anyway.
“Kacchan, I thought you weren’t afraid of the storms,” he whispered.
Katsuki loosened his grip to look down at Izuku in the low light, if only slightly. His hold on him was still akin to a boa constrictor. “I’m not. Well, I was. I… felt a lot safer sleeping next to you. Made me realize it’s not something to be afraid of.”
Izuku’s heart soared. “Well, I think you conditioned me. Whenever it rains, I think of you.”
In the darkness of the room, there was a shadow of a smile on Katsuki’s face.
“Um, I was thinking about earlier…” Izuku started, and he felt Katsuki tense up again. “About the kiss.”
“Izuku—”
“Did my breath stink or something?” he asked. It was one of the number one questions he’s had since the morning, other than what the fuck was that? It was the easier of his top two questions, but Katsuki still seemed confused.
“...What?”
Izuku blushed. “It’s just that you ran away pretty fast afterwards and holed up in your room. I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore. I thought maybe I was a bad kisser or something.”
Katsuki pulled further away from him now to look at him more directly. Izuku mourned the loss of warmth. There wasn’t much light to see except the light of the storm, but it felt like this was the kind of discussion where you actually had to look at each other. “No, you idiot. After the last kiss I was waiting for you to say something, to tell me how you felt about it. But all you did was say you couldn’t hate me. It made me think you didn’t like it, but you didn’t want to make things all weird because of it. I thought you were shrugging me off, you asshole.”
Izuku frowned. “I wasn’t trying to. You ran away so fast I didn’t know what to do. I was waiting all day for you to come back out of your room.”
“Oh.” Katsuki faltered. He had never sounded so… uncertain? Surprised? Izuku wasn’t really sure. But there was something there in his voice that was different. Vulnerable. “Well, that wasn’t going to happen, nerd,” he said a second after, putting his walls up again.
Izuku giggled despite this. “Yeah, well you still let me in tonight.”
“Yeah, I guess I did. So behave or I’m kicking you out.”
“Excuse me? After I’ve let you use my bed for how many years now?” He tried to act offended, but it didn’t really work.
“That’s too bad,” Katsuki playfully replied.
It went quiet again, and Izuku felt a lot more comfortable now, even with the heavy downpour. He and Katsuki were friendly again, he was in his best friend’s arms, and he finally dropped his head, releasing the tension in his body. He rested his cheek on Katsuki’s shoulder.
“So my breath doesn’t stink then?” he murmured.
“I never said that.”
“Rude.”
Katsuki laughed. “You still haven’t told me what you think. About the kiss.”
Izuku nuzzled further into Katsuki to hide away. Maybe it was gross, but he didn’t care that his nose was deep in his friend’s armpit at the moment. “Well I thought it was nice.”
“Is that it?” Katsuki deadpanned.
“No. I have a lot more thoughts on it.” Which was true, because Izuku had a billion thoughts about everything ever. But he had an extra billion thoughts about the kiss, it seemed.
He felt something on his waist again like earlier, and Izuku realized that Katsuki was rubbing circles into the scarred skin there on his hip with his thumb.
“Izuku,” he said, softly. Izuku had never heard Katsuki say his name like that before. And with the way his warm hands held his body, he knew he could fall asleep within seconds. He would have, if Katsuki’s next words didn’t make his heart go all crazy.
“I want to know if you liked it, dumbass. I want to know if…” he trailed off.
“If what?” Izuku asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“If it’s something you’d want to do again.”
Izuku couldn’t help himself. He propped himself up on one elbow, even if it meant Katsuki would remove his heavenly hands off of his waist, and leaned down to kiss him again. Except it was too dark to really see well, so this time, his lips landed somewhere that felt like his cheek, and he dragged his mouth down and across his face all over until he felt his lips on his.
This was definitely the best kiss, Izuku decided. And if Katsuki doesn’t like it, then at least he’ll have the memory of it, and then he can go back to looking up the best therapists in the area again.
When he pulled back, Katsuki’s lips chased him. He pushed Izuku back down onto the mattress and kissed him over and over and over. Maybe Izuku did fall asleep. Maybe this was what he was dreaming about.
When Katsuki finally stopped, he laid his forehead against Izuku’s and sighed. His breath fanned his lips ever so slightly, and it cooled the spit still wet on his lips. If Izuku really was a bad kisser, then Katsuki must have been too, because they made a total mess of their saliva.
“So do you like me?” Izuku asked, breathlessly.
“Dumbass… Is that OK?” Katsuki replied, forehead still touching. He was dancing around the subject, around saying the simple words, yes, I do like you, but Izuku didn’t mind. This was a start. This was more than Katsuki was ever willing to show anyone, and he chose to share it with Izuku.
Izuku wouldn’t put things off any longer. “Yes. Yes. I really like you, Kacchan.”
“Thank fuck.”
Katsuki went back to kissing him.
They kissed a lot today already, but that didn’t stop them from making out like their lives depended on it. Twelve minutes into their heavy makeout sesh, the covers were ripped off of Izuku, and the external temperature of Katsuki’s bed, AKA his room, felt like a freaking industrial freezer. He only ever kept it ice-cold, even in the winter. But Izuku was hoisted up off the bed, and Katsuki bridal carried him out into the hall, and he was all warm and fuzzy again.
“Kacchan? Where are we going?!” Izuku said, clinging to Katsuki’s shoulders.
“Your room. I don’t have any lube.”
Izuku reddened. “How do you know there’s lube in my room?”
Katsuki smirked, flinging Izuku’s bedroom door shut behind them with his foot. “Saw it in your nightstand once.”
The nightstand. Katsuki went digging through his nightstand drawers. And if he saw the lube, then that means—
That means he saw everything else in that drawer, too. The condoms, the vibrator, and, worst of all, his dildo.
“Ugh, you're so nosy—woah!” Izuku was tossed onto the bed, and Katsuki was on top of him a second later after flicking the bedside lamp on. “Wait, hold on! I’ll get the lube.”
Izuku tried to scramble away, but Katsuki didn’t budge. The blond had him effectively pinned between those two strong arms, and there was no getting around that. I mean, Izuku could probably panic and use some of his remnant strength to overpower him, but that would just be awkward and suspicious. Not to mention, he was hesitant to let his hands roam over Katsuki’s arms. He wasn’t used to the intimacy of it all, even after having slept together with him for years. It was just different now. It was consensual. And with that shared consensus came the added aspect of vulnerability. The one thing both Izuku and Katsuki were total dogshit at.
“I already saw your dildo, dumbass. It’s in the same drawer as the lube. So just chill out,” Katsuki assured him, but there was still a wolfish grin there that indicated the blond was totally getting a kick out of how flustered Izuku was getting.
“Whatever, just grab it, Kacchan.”
When Izuku heard his bedside table open and shut again, Katsuki returned to his original position, propping himself up over Izuku like before. His lips travelled all over: Izuku’s neck, his jaw, his hair, even the inside of his palm. He felt hotter with every peck, even if there was nothing filthy about them. Katsuki didn't bite, lick, or nibble at his skin. Just dusted him with kisses. It felt like he was getting attacked by a puppy. Izuku laughed at the thought.
“What’s so funny, nerd?”
“Nothing. It just tickles.”
“Mm,” Katsuki murmured, into the junction of Izuku’s neck and shoulder. Feeling the vibration of Katsuki’s deepening voice hit his collar made the nape of his neck tingle. Then, hesitantly, one of his hands tugged at the hem of Izuku’s shirt. “I wanna kiss you under here.”
“You can.” Izuku got up to pull it over his head. He threw it somewhere off to the side, and Katsuki was quick to put his mouth on him again.
The good thing about making love during a storm is that you can be as loud as you want. The feel on Katsuki’s lips dragging over his cold skin sent a shiver down his spine, and he squealed and squirmed every time the heat of his breath connected to Izuku’s chest, stomach, navel…
Then he went even lower.
“Woah!” Izuku pushed Katsuki off of him by the shoulders. He wasn’t feeling so cold anymore.
Katsuki looked up at him from his place between Izuku’s thighs.
“Don’t push me away. I wanna kiss you everywhere. And I want to know how many freckles there are under here, nerd,” he said, poking one finger beneath the elastic of his boxers. Izuku couldn’t stop the shudder that wracked his body when Katsuki dipped his hand below the elastic, nails softly dragging against the skin there. “You like that?”
Izuku couldn’t even say anything. He just nodded and put his hands over his eyes. He was honestly scared he would bust a nut right now, just from a bit of touching. Maybe if he didn’t look down at Katsuki hovering over his crotch like that it would help. Katsuki wasn’t having it, though.
“Hey, keep looking at me!” he whined, crawling back up Izuku’s body. He pulled his hands from his eyes and smiled. “I don’t want you to hide from me. Can you do that, baby?”
Oh my god.
Katsuki just called him baby, and it was definitely doing things to him. Izuku was glad Katsuki was away from his boner now, because he felt his cock twitch in his undies at his words. It was honestly embarrassing how turned on he was already.
Katsuki kissed one of the hands he had taken from Izuku’s eyes, right along the scar that goes over every knuckle.“Come on baby, please? Will you do what I say?”
“Oh my god, Kacchan,” Izuku said, looking away. “Stop being weird. My face is so hot I think my nose might bleed.” Which wasn’t an exaggeration. It’s happened before.
“Then you like it. So don’t tell me to stop. I don’t want to stop tonight.”
“Me neither.” Izuku’s heart felt ready to pound straight out of his chest. “Um, do you… have you, um—” he stumbled over his words until he gave up. He’d said more than enough already for Katsuki to read his mind in that way that he does, annoying and lovely all at the same time. If Izuku knew everything about Katsuki, then Katsuki knew everything about Izuku, too.
“Are you trying to ask me if I’m a virgin right now?”
Embarrassingly, Izuku nodded. In his mind, he was facepalming so hard right now.
Katsuki looked off to the side. “So what if I am? Damn nerd.”
That’s what Katsuki said, but the way his red eyes were turned away from him told Izuku that he was totally insecure about it.
“It’s OK. Me too,” he stated, hoping to make Katsuki feel a little better about their sad virginity status. He put one hand on Katsuki’s cheek so he could see those pretty red eyes again, and rubbed the raised skin under his right eye with his thumb.
That’s when Katsuki attacked him with a new wave of kisses. Only these were more heated, and Izuku bit his tongue at the feel of the blonde’s tongue licking over a spot on his neck, kissing it harshly over and over again. Katsuki seemed to really like this part of Izuku, because he gave a lot of attention to this spot, nipping and sucking on it until Izuku couldn’t take it anymore. His whole body felt like it had been set on fire.
“Katsuki,” he hissed, through clenched teeth. He was holding his breath because it felt like this could stop all those weird noises from coming out of him, but they still slipped past a little bit. “Stop doing that. It’s starting to hurt.”
Finally, the blond pulled away. The wave of fresh air hitting his skin was like a shock to his body. Something about the way Katsuki wanted him so bad that he couldn’t help but get a taste of Izuku’s skin turned him on. Like, way on. All the way on.
Izuku reached a hand down between them, trailing his fingers all the way down the blond happy trail peeking out of Katsuki’s boxers. Katsuki gasped above him, and a faint blush appeared almost immediately along his shoulders and the tips of his ears.
“Izuku,” he said, just to say it.
Needless to say, this did things to Izuku. He played with that tuft of hair a bit more, twirling it around, before slowly, cautiously moving his hand a bit lower. He wanted to give Katsuki the time to pull away if he wanted to, but the blond stayed put above him, his breathing heavy and his chest heaving with every breath he took through his parted lips. His red eyes were watching Izuku’s hand between them. Izuku took it as his cue to let his hand go where he really wanted to put it. He grabbed Katsuki’s erection (thank god Izuku wasn’t the only one sporting a major boner right now) and squeezed.
“Fuck!” Katsuki groaned, bucking into his hand. “I can’t wait anymore. Do you want to top or bottom?” His red eyes bored into Izuku’s intently.
Izuku thought about it for a moment. Honestly, he wanted to do both. But right now, the thought of being inside Katsuki seemed like too much. He’d probably blow his load before he even got done stretching him.
“Um, maybe bottom?”
Katsuki’s gaze suddenly turned irritated. “Are you just saying that because you think I can’t handle being on bottom, nerd? Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“No, no! I’m fine topping too, I’m uh—I’m just nervous.”
Katsuki studied him for a few seconds more, before reaching for the lube. He must have decided Izuku was telling the truth.
“Can I take your boxers off?” he asked.
Izuku nodded. He started slipping them off himself, but Katsuki met him halfway, grabbing the legs of his underwear and tugging them down. Izuku focused his attention elsewhere once Katsuki finally pulled them past his knees. This was suddenly all extremely embarrassing, feeling all exposed on the bed.
From the corner of his eye, he could see Katsuki staring. Izuku knew he was being a bit of a wuss. I mean, he was literally All Might’s successor and wielder of One For All, he fought and ended a war, and he was still freaking out about being naked in front of the guy he liked. Katsuki must have noticed, because he gave Izuku a bit more space.
“I’ll take mine off, too,” he grunted. He slid his boxers off quickly, kicking them off his ankles and onto the floor.
Katsuki was… bigger than average. Because of course he was. Katsuki was perfect in all ways. Izuku had spent countless hours in the UA locker rooms listening to Denki and Mineta complain about how the blond must have been “God’s favorite,” all while secretly agreeing. Good looks, good quirk, high intelligence, Katsuki had it all.
Izuku closed his legs a bit, shying away. He didn’t feel so sure about this anymore. But Katsuki kneed his legs apart again, and slowly lowered himself down, leaning in for another kiss. Izuku turned away from that, too.
Katsuki frowned. “Hey, what’s with you?”
“N-nothing,” Izuku stammered, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“Cut the crap and just tell me. If you don’t want to do this anymore you have to say it.”
“No! It’s not that… It’s just, are you really sure you want to do this? With me?” he said, pointing to himself, as if to say, really? Of all people?
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Moron.” He placed a kiss over Izuku’s ribs, one for each rib he could find. “Why the hell else would we be in this position if I didn’t want this?”
Izuku faltered. He had a good point. But he still wasn’t convinced. He had run the numbers plenty of times, thought through the probability of Katsuki returning his feelings many times before. The chances always seemed so low. “It’s just that you’re so… you know.”
Katsuki sat up now, crossing his arms. It looked pretty silly with him being naked and all, but it didn’t feel very funny at the moment. Not with that horrible look he was giving Izuku, the one where Izuku knew he had pissed him off bad. Really bad.
“I’m what?”
Izuku winced. Shit. He shouldn’t have said anything. “Um, you’re just really… cool. And, um—” he felt his face explode with heat. Fuck, he was probably red as a tomato right now. Embarrassing. “I think you’re amazing.”
“So you think I’m the shit, huh?” Katsuki said, smirking. “Well, I know I’m the shit. But you? What’s wrong with you? I’ve always looked up to you, dumbass. You’ve always been…”
Izuku’s heart skipped a beat.
“You’ve always been perfect. It’s kind of annoying.”
I could say the same for you, Izuku almost said. Instead, he laughed. “I’m not perfect at all. I mean, look at me. I’ve got scars everywhere, and my hair’s always a mess, and—”
Katsuki slammed back down to the mattress, caging Izuku between his arms. Izuku squealed when they touched for a moment, still not used to their newfound intimacy.
“Are you fucking kidding me, you damn nerd?” He grabbed Izuku’s wrist, bringing it up to his lips. “Your scars are perfect—” Kiss, kiss. “They make you look so badass.”
“And your freckles—” Kiss, kiss, kiss.
“They’re so cute it drives me insane. I wish I could bite them all. How can you look so dorky and sexy at the same time? Fucking pisses me off.”
Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss.
It was overwhelming. Izuku felt like he couldn’t breathe with all the things he was saying. How could he, when everything sounded so suffocatingly sweet?
“I think you have cute aggression,” was all Izuku could muster out between breaths. Katsuki chuckled and just went back to nipping all over his skin, up and down his body, almost teasingly. Anytime he got close to that spot, where Izuku felt so bare and revealed, he pulled away, almost like he was ignoring it on purpose.
“Kachaaannn,” he whined.
“Yes? Are you ready to get on with things now? Are you done being an insecure little brat?” He bit the inside of Izuku’s thigh, and Izuku finally couldn’t take any more. He felt better, more sure, now. He grabbed those spiky blond locks of hair and tugged Katsuki back up to eye level.
“Would you rather I stretch myself? Because I need you inside me right now,” he demanded, and Katsuki growled.
“Fuck no, I want to do it.” Katsuki reached for the lube they had both forgotten was on the bed with them. “Get comfortable.”
Izuku dragged himself a bit further up the bed, laying his head down on the pillow. He stared at the whiteness of their ceiling to avoid looking over in Katsuki’s direction between his legs, where he was slicking up his fingers.
At the first touch of his index finger between Izuku’s thighs, Izuku flinched. His fingers were cold.
“Are you scared, nerd?”
Izuku shook his head. “It just surprised me.”
“I’ll go slow then,” Katsuki promised, settling a kiss on his hipbone.
His hands were different from Izuku’s. They weren’t nearly as big and stubby, but instead he had long, thin fingers that always shone with a sheen of sweat. Izuku had spent many hours admiring those gentle hands. (They weren’t always gentle, but he noticed how they took extra care in helping the elderly cross the street or making Izuku’s morning cup of coffee.)
When the first finger slid carefully into the deepest part of him, he gasped. Izuku felt like he was in heaven. His heart pounded with delight—this is what he had been waiting and praying for for years. It was like a dream.
“You OK, nerd?”
“Yeah,” Izuku replied, wrapping his arms steadily around Katsuki’s neck. They were so close that they breathed into each other’s mouths. “I’m OK. Keep going.”
Katsuki pushed his finger in and out, taking his time to carve a space out for himself. And, even though his fingers were long, it didn’t feel like enough yet. Not even when Katsuki started using two fingers…
Not until he curled them.
Izuku yelped. A shock of ecstasy jolted him, and his lower stomach suddenly burned with need. Katsuki had hit that spot, that little part of him that made him feel so good. But it had never felt like this before, not even when he was alone and fantasizing about Katsuki. No, this felt ten times more intense. He didn’t know it could feel this good.
“Shit, does that hurt?” Katsuki asked, pulling his fingers back a bit.
Izuku took a second to catch his breath. “No.”
Katsuki examined Izuku’s face for any signs of discomfort anyway. When he found nothing, his red eyes widened a little, boring into him with curiosity now instead of scrutiny. He pushed his fingers in again, and another surge of electricity zipped through his body. Izuku thinks a pathetic whimper might have come out of his own mouth, but he couldn’t be sure. He felt like he was someplace far away.
“Are you going to cum already?” Katsuki teased, grinning. He ground his fingers into that spot again, and Izuku held onto the sheets for dear life. He was not going to cum this fast.
“Put another finger in already! You’re driving me crazy,” he whined.
“Oh, you want another finger, baby? You like how good my fingers make you feel?”
Izuku had had enough. He threw his legs around Katsuki’s torso and yanked him forward so that his face was almost by his and said, “No, I want your dick in me. So hurry up and stretch me or I’ll do it myself. You don’t want that, do you?”
“Shit,” Katsuki muttered. He pulled his fingers out to add another. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you. I’ll make you feel so fucking good.”
Izuku tried not to laugh. He smiled anyway. Katsuki was easy to sway, so long as you challenged him.
Three fingers was like floating on a cloud. He was so close to the edge, but not close enough, that he couldn’t take it anymore. He’d never needed anything so bad, never felt his body burn this hot with desire before. He yanked Katsuki’s fingers out of him.
“Actually, just put it in. I’m ready.”
Katsuki was silent for a moment. “But I don’t want to hurt you—”
Izuku grabbed blindly for Katsuki’s dick, and the blond hissed, bucking into his hand when he found it.
“You won’t hurt me. I’ll be fine.” His hand tugged teasingly at Katsuki, trying to draw him in.
“Fuck, hold on.” Sparks steamed from Katsuki’s hand beside his head, digging into his favorite All-Might pillow. But Izuku didn’t really have the strength to care at the moment.
“Kacchan, please.” Izuku tried to sound as desperate as possible. It wasn’t too hard. But he had to lay it on thick—Katsuki was stubborn. “Please, I need it.”
“Shit,” the blond muttered, tears muddying his red eyes. “Izuku, I can’t risk—”
Hurting you.
I can’t risk hurting you again.
It’s what he wanted to say, Izuku knew it. The concern was evident in his eyes—there was that same fearful look there which he had during their first monsoon. But the fear was useless now. Understandable, but useless. A pang of guilt rose in his chest—he hadn’t meant to scare Katsuki.
“Katsuki,” Izuku whispered, gently placing one hand on the blond’s cheek. He smiled when Katsuki leaned into his touch. “It’s OK. I’m telling you, it’s fine. I can take it. I know you’ll still be careful not to hurt me.” He pecked at the salty tear that rolled down the blond’s chin.
“But, are you sure?”
Izuku nodded. “C’mon, Kacchan… you’ve already peeked in my nightstand, right? You said you’ve seen my dildo. Trust me, I can handle it.”
Katsuki laughed. The sound of it eased their tension, the blond’s shoulders visibly relaxing. It finally felt like they were on the same page. Any lasting insecurities were forgotten for the moment, and time seemed to still. But they were all over each other again, kissing like they were trying to steal each other’s souls, when Izuku felt Katsuki prodding at his entrance. He wrapped his legs around the blond’s waist, grinding up against him, groaning into his mouth. Katsuki huffed in surprise, and Izuku swallowed any of his breath that he could catch, before Katsuki finally, finally, pushed himself in.
His fingers coiled into Katsuki’s blond locks of hair. Only the head of his dick had breached Izuku’s entrance, but already it felt like he was close. Maybe it was the excitement of it all. At the very least, Katsuki had also cradled his big hands under Izuku’s head, threading his long fingers through his curly green hair, so Izuku knew he was feeling the same way, just as undone and high on ecstasy as he was.
Inch by inch, Katsuki shoved himself deeper, pausing every few seconds to catch his breath and watch Izuku’s face change. He kept searching for any signs Izuku might have changed his mind, but never found any.
It’s so cute, Izuku thought, how he keeps checking on me…
But I want him even deeper already.
With his legs still wrapped tight around Katsuki’s waist, he squeezed Katsuki in closer to him. Izuku sighed in relief when the blond bottomed out. Katsuki moaned into Izuku’s neck, and the sound of it made him shiver. He could feel a drop of sweat from the blond’s temple hit his collarbone and Izuku distantly wondered what it would be like if Katsuki used his quirk on that little droplet. He settled on saving that thought for later.
“Fuck, you really want it that bad, huh?” Katsuki groaned, still hidden away in Izuku’s neck. “Can I move, baby?”
“Mmhmm,” Izuku murmured, twisting some of Katsuki’s hair around one finger. He would’ve used words, but speaking felt like too much right now. Everything felt like too much. But he didn’t need to say anything comprehensible for Katsuki to understand, because he moved, and slowly dragged himself back inside. The pressure was so intense, Izuku saw stars behind his eyelids. When did he close his eyes?
Was this what it was like when Katsuki used his quirk? He felt like explosions were bursting across his skin—it felt amazing. But deep down in his belly, a spark fizzled that was stronger than all the rest. When Katsuki pulled back out, and shoved himself in again, he screamed.
“Kacchan, I know we just started but I’m gonna cum already,” Izuku blurted.
When Katsuki didn’t reply, Izuku peeked one of his eyes open. The blond looked just as wrecked above him, face screwed up in concentration, beads of sweat drooling down his temples. His breathing was labored.
“Kacchan?”
“Just give me a damn second, nerd,” he said, voice shaky. It was good to know Izuku wasn’t the only one already at the cliff’s edge.
The blond pulled himself out again with an agonizingly slow drag of his hips. A new wave of heat scorched in his abdomen when Katsuki whimpered in his ear. Izuku nibbled at Katsuki’s shoulder in the hopes that he could bring out more of those sweet sounds, but it didn’t work. He just lapped at the sugary sweat on his skin.
“Fuck, Izuku… you feel so good,” Katsuki sighed.
“Then don’t stop this time,” Izuku replied, the taste of nitroglycerin still like honey on his lips. Maybe it’s what gave him the courage to say something so sickeningly sweet. “I want to make love to you.”
Katsuki’s skin suddenly burned. He picked himself up from where he had laid his head in the crook of Izuku’s neck, and looked down at him with something inexplicable written on his face. Izuku stared back up at him in confusion, squirming under the sizzling heat of Katsuki’s body.
“Do you mean it?” the blond asked, so quiet Izuku could barely hear it. But he heard it, and he heard the way his voice had quivered, too.
“Mean what?”
“That you love me. Not like, love.”
Oh. Izuku had let that word slip, hadn’t he? The “L” word. How could he not? It was the honest truth. It felt easy to say, now.
“Yeah. I lo—”
Katsuki didn’t let Izuku finish. He smushed their lips together, pulled out, then slammed himself all the way back in. Izuku probably would have screamed over the sounds of the storm if it weren’t for Katsuki kissing him like his life depended on it. The way his stomach felt like it had bursted with pleasure was so intoxicating, all sense of reason felt lost to him. If Katsuki didn’t start pounding him this instant, this time he would die for sure.
He didn’t have to worry about that, though. Katsuki seemed overtaken now, completely overwhelmed with passion. He rammed into Izuku with reckless abandon, not even pausing to breathe. Hovering open-mouthed over Izuku’s face, Katsuki’s expression twisted into one of pure bliss, as Izuku threw his head into his pillow.
Izuku’s back arched from the sheer intensity of Katsuki’s thrusts. The bed was creaking so loud, you could hear it through the thunder as the headboard banged against the wall over and over. Izuku clung to Katsuki like he was the only thing that could save him, even if he was the one fucking Izuku into the mattress at the moment.
The obscene smacking of Katsuki’s thrusts only grew stronger, and Izuku’s moans mixed into the roar of the torrential rain. The pressure in his belly built and built. They were both a mess, panting like dogs and clawing at each other, desperate for release, overtaken by years of secret yearning for one another. Katsuki’s rhythm began to get sloppy and shallow, and he knew the blond was close.
He tried to hang on for a second longer, but it was impossible. Once Katsuki slammed back into him, he came, an explosion of pleasure so strong he felt dizzy. His nails raked Katsuki’s back as he struggled to stay conscious.
With a few more thrusts, Katsuki’s hips stuttered, and he came too, muffling a loud cry of pleasure in the crook of Izuku’s neck.
They stayed as they were for a little longer, riding out the aftershocks of their orgasms with lazy kisses and breaths that tasted like each other now. Izuku caressed the spot on Katsuki’s back where he had held onto so tightly, rubbing circles into the crescent-shaped divots his nails had created along the skin there. Katsuki just peppered more kisses along Izuku’s collarbone.
“I love you too, nerd,” he mumbled bashfully.
If he wasn’t so tired, Izuku would be squealing with happiness right now, like the giant nerd he was.
—
Although they were exhausted after sex, they cleaned everything up. Sure, they could have left their mess in Izuku’s bed and slept in Katsuki’s room, but they somehow both tacitly agreed on staying where they were tonight. It felt right.
“Can I just sleep in your bed from now on? It’s comfier,” Katsuki asked, spooning Izuku under the covers.
Izuku huffed. “Oh really? I thought you said I was the loudest snorer in all of Japan?” he said, but he didn’t really mean it. Part of him just wanted to give Katsuki a hard time after all those years of torture. The other part wanted to sleep in the same room with him every night until they died.
“Oi, don’t act all stubborn now! You’ve always let me sleep in here!” Katsuki gnawed on the big freckle on Izuku’s shoulder. Izuku shrieked.
“Alright! Fine! Just let me sleep already,” Izuku said, through giggles. “You’ve deprived me of sleep for the last five years.”
Katsuki licked him now. It surprised Izuku how handsy the blond was.
“Not my fault you couldn’t take a hint.”
“Go to sleep, Kacchan.”
Izuku tried to act annoyed. But he knew he wasn’t hiding it well—he thinks he’ll like monsoon season a lot more from here on out.