Chapter Text
You sat on the same couch with a woman who is particularly on the more buffer side than most. She’s new, different, doesn’t speak a lot in your little village you call home. Home away from out there.
You could say, it’s like freedom from the real world.
Freedom in more ways than one, it felt as though this home of yours was so mundane that even this quiet woman has been accustomed to it. So accustomed that.. she’s forgotten about human touch, and would like to remind the both of you, how good it feels to be human again. Not weapons, not survival, just.. human.
In doing so—- here it all began. One hand on your thigh, and the other around your waist, a kiss so tender pulling away from your now warm swollen lips, panting in unison. The scent of arousal permeated the air, like a spark to a flame as if it was strong as gaz de pétrole liquéfié.
But before you got here, there was quite a story that begun a little like this…
She arrived months ago with a kid, named Lev. He’s also quiet, but more like speaks when spoken to,
quiet. Cuts the bullshit and gets to the point. You got along quickly with that one. So quickly, they figured you and Abby should meet. And after a while of insisting over and over again. You finally, exhaustedly gave in. Dragging your feet behind them, as they walked up the stairs upon a porch, knocking on the door. You suddenly understood that you did infact felt more nervous than before, meeting this unknown silent woman. Who definitely looks like they’ve seen more shit than they should have. You took purchase to the ground instead of the porch, rocking back and forth on your heels to the tips of your shoes. Arms behind your back, as if you were a kid again, nervous to say hi to the new kid in class or you are the new kid. In your 20’s feeling more vulnerable than before, odd that those feelings are crawling over your skin, that you claimed has thickened. You’d hear some heavy steps come near the door, whipping your head upwards to see. Abby.
“What’s up Lev?” She asks, only peering a bit out of her white door.
“It’s time to get out and actually socialize. Like we practice”
“Ah— yes, definitely tell the whole village that as well Lev, thank you. Appreciate you so much..” she rolled her eyes, leaning on the walls beam.
“Oh, is this what this sarcasm you spoke of before feels like?”
“Yeah— ugh, you know what.. we’ll work on your sarcasm skills later”
“Cold, okay see you I’m gonna go work on a few cars today” He says in a flash before letting Abby get a single word in, or even a protest that she’d start, nope not a chance for Lev. Of course, this wasn’t practical to force a friendship, but he’s doing it out of love for Abby. Community is needed, and Abby definitely needs it.
“I- wa-“
She reaches out for them but they are already gone. Poor Abby, after years of finally finding a place she feels she can relax, she finds herself in quite the pickle to actually start speaking to people again. Feeling as though she doesn’t even deserve a friend after.. the Seattle incident. She slips through the door and out there she goes, greeting you with a nod, and an awkward bitten lip.
“So..”
You introduce yourself before, this entire thing shouldn’t be new to you. You’re prepared. Instead, you let your mouth take off like a failed paper airplane. “—Lev said you needed some company, so here I am.” You continued, noticing her eyebrows raised, and a hint of pink embarrassment kisses her appled cheeks. “Yeah… I- you know..—-“
“I’m sorry I’m just.. not used to being insisted that I need to get back out there and socialize. Been a while.. with infected out there and.. all” is what she chooses to say as eels slip down her back, the memories of what she's done, the mistakes that were made, the karma that was dealt, the two sides of the same coin situations, everything that she wish she could take back and do differently… The conversation with Mel still lingers and has made a terrible cocoon in her mind. Ready to just pop open one day. But of course she sticks with the story that would be more common to share than her past of many unique decisions.
“Uh-huh…” you began,
“Well, I’ve been here for at least 5 years. Truly—- since the buildings used to be just scraps and what not.. but here we are.. heh, ha— um.. anyways… D-don’t really see you around the dining hall?” You bambled, blubbed, your sentence, wanting to just crawl back into your bed and sleep off whatever nerves are trying to camp in your nervous system.
“Yeah?”
This conversation is clearly not going anywhere! Might as well switch it up, you are after all bombing mad hard.
“You haven’t been able to meet everybody, and we’re all soooo curious about you”
“Is— is that sarcasm?”
“Maybe”
“Huh, didn’t pick you to have that kinda of humor” She states, as she slowly walks down the stairs, the closer she gets the more you notice how tall she actually is, and if you didn’t know any better. You’d ponder if she had a muscle regression before getting here, unless you are mistaken from her stretch marks on her arms.
“Maybe you should pick a little harder, miss socially inept”
“Ha.. haa, okay watch yourself— I didn’t say you we’re that funny”
“Wait till you get to know me some more, maybe you’ll be smiling one day”
“Yeah, good luck with that” Abby muttered to herself, rolling her eyes. Reminding herself that maybe this is what she needed. Something familiar, conversation, regardless of how oddly blunt you are. Some directness would be nice for once. No wondering in her ocean of a mind if she made a fool of herself with you with this kind of attitude.
And just from that one conversation, things moved slow, then a bit quick, then slow again, but as time moved on, the more you both figured, this is okay. At first you figured you both are a little weird, but honestly this is the most at peace she’s been in a while. So fuck it if you’re weird, fuck it if you’re a little blunt. Just fuck it. At least you’re not something that represents her past. And thank fuck for that too.
Of course Abby didn’t just bounce back outta no where though, hell no?. There were her good days, and her bad days. The panic attacks from when was her dad dying to her being afraid of dying herself. The pain and regret fostering in her soul, leaving traces in her finger tips, and the blood that was once there by her friend Manny, still haunts her. To a point where she finds herself rubbing that spot on her face, washing her face longer than usual, or just full on diving full face in her bathtub— when taking a simple bath.
She hasn’t even told Lev this situation of hers, don’t wanna burden anyone in her mind that is. However those small conversations you have with each other helps. Only on her good days though.
Her bad days, you could tell if they were about to erupt. The bad blood that she would spill, those tiny curses of something minor slipping out in big crowds when something or someone went wrong, even just a regular hand on the back had her fidgeting more than usual.
And asking her if she’s okay? Out of the question. She just leaves and goes home. Little did you know, she’d just cry from how not okay she is. The realization of it all tumbling down for her and not knowing how to fix it. She feels as though she must fix it. To be “normal” again, not as feeble as some skittish deer. Is what she would refer herself to when she calms down from her episodes.
Sometimes, something thicker than water can either help you with life, or drown you, pulling you down like a creature of the deep. That’s what it felt like for Abby everyday. Something creeping on her skin as if one day her past will just burst through the door or she herself blabbed a bit too much about what she’s done. Scared of being perceived the way she used to be seen.
Until one day after a month of knowing you something happens…