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Do you really like being so gifted? Intelligent? Talented?
Don't you see what you- we have to go through?
How about all your illnesses? Disorders?
People will treat you so differently-
Senku reluctantly responded; ‘You think I enjoy that crap? Really? You think I don't second guess myself already? You should know- I don't care what people think of me, as long as that doesn't get in the way.’ .... ‘They won't find out regardless.’
Oh come on, You know you're full of shit right now.
‘Go away,’ Senku said, irritated.
I-
‘Go away.’
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Senku woke up, from what he could tell counting, was only 30 minutes. Still, sleep is sleep, and he needs whatever he can get. What a horrendous sleep that was anyways, he really can’t escape any kind of hallucinations, or voices, can he?
‘If only there was something like Seroquel,’
It was just a thought, a desire, an unnecessary need though- especially in the stone world. He had spent months working on a cure for pneumonia. Who knows how long it’ll be to create a medication for schizophrenia . The thought is more discouraging than exhilarating, it was humorous; Because-
There's no cure for the mental disorder anyways idiot.
Shut up!
I knew that.
There was still work, and there always is. The Perseus is being built, and Senku needs to be on schedule and maintain a steady pace. To do that, he can’t be lying around.
Senku got up to fix himself; because destroying yourself from the inside is acceptable, but a nuisance if you show it on the outside. He didn’t bother to rewrap his bandages before he left though, they were a little looser than usual, but he usually wraps them the tightest he could anyways. Starting off with making his last blueprint more defined would be a good start to the day. Should he even be calling it the start? The sun hasn't even risen up. Nevertheless, Senku made sure that his eyes were- not red, and he made his way out of the hut he was sharing with Chrome. Well, he was sleeping in the observatory.
So many contradictions today, just get to work.
Yeah- just get the day over with.
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Gen was very proud of himself today, he woke up at a good 5 am! He doesn’t want to be considered such a sleepyhead now, does he? Gen has to play his part in the Kingdom of Science, and presenting people with a charismatic awakening to a groggy morning isn’t such a bad idea. Ah, well he did want Cola, now that's a great idea. He went to pick some new flower petals, for his great entrance, and-
“Senku?” Gen looked up towards the lab, in confusion, “I never knew you got up so early, and- did you even sleep? You look truly ired-tay,” He continued, knelt down in a joking tone.
“You're sure the one to talk, mentalist- Well, do you count a 10 minute nap?” Senku didn’t look up from his paper, and did not lift up his pen once while responding from the inside of the laboratory.
Gen didn’t know if Senku was joking or not. Sure, he can easily identify his sarcasm during some instances, but it was said… with no emotion- No emotion?- Well- it is some case a mentalist can crack with time.
Gen pondered, while picking up the remnants of the flower petal. His scientist counterpart seems very in check with his emotions, and very sensible to not let them get in the way. Despite this, many things happened to the both of them alone to make Senku just show any amount of emotional vulnerability. And he just wonders what had happened before with him and Tsukusa. Even Gen has had his ‘down-in-the-dumps-’ days.
But..
Anyways! Gen brushed that feeling off, and went into the lab, partially to beg for cola,
and partially out of worry.
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It was 8 in the morning now, and everyone started to rise up. Gen greeted them with a happy go lucky and staged surprise, as planned. He had forced Senku to stay right behind him, since they would be even more delighted to see their chief leader. Alas, he still had a blueprint in his hand.
Kohaku made an entrance, running up to the two, “Francois cooked you two! I bet it’s an amazing meal, so you guys better come!”
“Ya-!!” Chrome exclaimed from far away.
“Oh you guys are sure full of it,” Senku said, looking deadpanned as Kohaku retreated back to the savory scent. Senku reeled himself back a little, and began to feel slightly more irritated. It was real disgusting though; digesting food, feeling it go down your throat, all the ingredients and additives, then smiling, ‘This is delicious!’ Seeing them smile, stuffing their mouths, asking for seconds. He was guilty just seeing other people enjoy their food-
You only feel guilty because you can’t do the same. You can only wish.
“Francois wakes up really arly-eay! Impressive if I do say myself.” Gen said, while smiling at Senku, “Well we better get going, or else someone’s going to get mad if we leave it cold.”
Gen grabbed Senku’s forearm, as a means to bring the teen with him. It was harmless, and fun.
Senku's eyes had widened for a second, as sharp pain set in; and he thought he calculated that the bleeding would stop, that the cuts would scab. He quickly shoved, and in a way, hit Gen's hand away quickly. Senku did not feel panic set in yet, only internal debate as to why the bandages that seemed tight enough yesterday did not protect his now bleeding arm. The bandages itself were beginning to spread crimson blotches from the inside out. So, he had rushed to tuck both of his arms into one another, making sure that it was not visible.
The scientist reacted mainly because pain, then irritation, “I didn’t want to go in the first place, mentalist. I have things to do before then.” An excuse, but not a lie. “Just go with them,” Then, he walked back to his and Chrome’s place, in an ultimate attempt to avoid any further confrontation.
Gen stood there alone for a few moments, he was taken aback, confused, then concerned. He saw bits of what can only be blood on his arms. What? Why? How? He can understand then, what could have caused such an aggressive reaction from the younger scientist, but why was their blood in the first place?
Wait, no. What the hell was that? Did his arm really start bleeding just from me touching his arm- or..?
Or was there something else. Gen’s own arms remained tucked away in his haori as his eyes widened seriously a little. Would he, the ever-so-logical scientific minded, do something like that in the first place? Slit-
“Gen are you coming!?”, Kohaku's impatient voice yelled out, with Chrome’s following after, “Yeah, you guy’s food is getting cold!!!” Gen shook that thought out of his mind, sighed, and pulled a smile to his lips, “Yes, yes, i'm coming dear Kohaku.”
Kohaku looked from afar, to see Gen coming to eat alone,
“Oh, was Senku busy again?”
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Shit, it opened up again.
Senku sat on the floor, and in the dark corner of his observatory, and unwrapped his bandages to clean up the opened cuts. He reluctantly had to lay eyes on the many of them, on his body, both arms and legs. “How can I be so fucking ignorant...” He groaned in irritation, throwing the bandage over to the corner of the room, Where he saw himself.
This isn't like me.
His voices, his hallucinations, himself, came closer and louder.
This’ll make you a fraud then,
“Shut up.” Senku said, with a tired tone.
This is why you were put in there idiot.
“What..?” He paused,
His own hallucination mocked him, laughing, before turning serious and fed up.
Yeah, the fucking mental hospital . Where else?
“Shut up!” Senku exclaimed, with his eyes wide with irritation and anger.
“I said shut up!”
Senku found the closest glass flask to him, which was only a foot away. He quickly grabbed it and threw the glass towards the- thing.
Your illusion.
Your hallucination.
For a moment, Senku was not aware of what he just threw, and he was not aware of why his mind would resort to anger, and do such a thing. It was too late, and the object that was midair was now broken on the ground. The flask shattered instantaneously, spreading tiny, sharp edged shards all over the floor of his observatory. The sound was piercing but it did not travel far. In a hurry, Senku bent down, and with the cloth of his blanket, picked up the glinting pieces of glass on the floor.
That was stupid; he was stupid, for letting things escalate so drastically, so quickly. In a way, his hallucinations.. no.. he provoked himself. Senku was sure nobody heard; they were all good and far away wherever the food was. So the probability of someone coming close and seeing what happened was slim.
That was just lucky.
Senku was still on the ground, picking up pieces and trying to avoid getting any splinters. He had to think,
You can't prevent such a thing.
‘Well, it is important to stop such a hassle-a time consuming thing to happen again. Stopping such outburst of…whatever degree of anger that was… shouldn't be so difficult. Some preoccupation would help, and would also make sure that we’re not anywhere behind schedule.’
Senku thought that was a safe and sound plan.
You’ll just turn to a blade.
That too.
But it's just a bad day.
Just a bad day?
That’s everyday.
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