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When Camelot woke up that morning, it was to the sound of birds singing, the sun beaming its lovely and gentle rays on the houses, the air crisp with a light breeze, and the general atmosphere of peace which was there to help everyone get started for the day.
When Camelot woke up that morning, everything was so perfect that it did not suspect that anything would go wrong. After all, chaos had already occurred a week ago in the form of a weirdly shaped baby griffin and a stable exploding. It really did not think anything big would happen so soon.
That was Camelot’s biggest mistake.
Because on that very day of bird-song-and-gentle-sunrays morning, Merlin happened to visit the laundry room. The first domino being knocked down in the next series of ablaze dominos toppling.
Merlin whistled a song he had heard one of the bards sing in the latest feast he had to serve. He whistled cheerfully as he carried the king’s unbelievably dirty and smelly clothes into the laundry room to wash them in the large castle sinks. He was there later than most servants who went there to wash laundry so he could discreetly use his magic to avoid touching Arthur’s malodorous socks.
He set the basket down and was about to grab a bucket to fill it with water and soap when he heard something.
Seeing as the laundry room was abandoned and no one was around except him, he was immediately on high alert.
Merlin narrowed his eyes, straining his ears to catch the shuffling sound again.
Sure enough, there was a rustle and a movement in the large pile of blankets and dirty sheets the servants had dumped here after gathering it from the knights’ quarters.
Merlin slowly approached the pile, standing in front of it for a moment before yanking the top sheets and blankets off to reveal…
“Gwaine?!” Merlin exclaimed, his posture immediately relaxing. “What are you doing here?”
Gwaine shifted from where he had been lying peacefully on the dirty lump of bedsheets to sit up, making a grumpy face at having been found out, but when he spotted Merlin, his expression cleared into delight. “Merlin, my friend! Fancy seeing you here.”
“I’m meant to be here. I’m washing Arthur’s clothes?” Merlin dropped the sheets and blankets.
Gwaine wrinkled his nose in distaste. “That seems unfair. The king should wash his own clothes, not subject you to the horrors of his sweat and stench.”
Merlin snorted. “Tell me about it. Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here though.”
“I’m hiding,” Gwaine grinned.
“From who?”
“Arthur.”
“What trouble did you get into this time?”
“Why do you always assume that?” Gwaine pouted. “I’m an angel.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “Fine. What trouble are you going to get into this time?”
Gwaine grinned again. “Skipping training.” He patted a spot beside him on the pile.
Merlin gave an amused smile. “Oh?” He sat on the spot Gwaine gestured at.
“Yep. Royal’s been beating all us knights to a pulp after that rumor of Morgana being sighted. Cover us with those sheets will you?”
Merlin decided not to question why he was obliging Gwaine’s request and hiding in dirty laundry with him, instead picking up the sheets and blankets he had grabbed before and spreading them over them, encasing them in partial darkness. He created a little hole so they could have at least some airflow.
“It’s horrible without you, Merls,” Gwaine complained. “Without you there at training, he’s been picking on all of us and beating us two feet into the ground.”
“Good thing I’m behind on my chores and not there to act as his training dummy then. Or else I would be the one being beaten knee-deep into the ground.”
“Nonsense. He wouldn’t hurt you, not even to bruise. It’s just us knights he thinks it’s okay to batter.”
“Not when he’s angry. He won’t care that I’m not a knight.”
“With how often you join us in our quests and missions, you may as well be.”
Merlin grinned. If only he knew.
Suddenly, the sheets covering them lifted, blinding them with light, and a surprised shout sounded in front of them.
“What the hell are you two doing?” Gwen shrieked.
Merlin and Gwaine blinked at the sudden bright light and the sight of a startled and mad Gwen.
“Gwen!” Merlin said merrily.
“My lady!” Gwaine greeted cheerily.
“For the last time, I am no lady, Gwaine.”
Gwaine smirked. “No, because you will be queen.”
Gwen blushed but quickly recovered. “What are you two doing here?” she repeated.
“Hiding,” Merlin replied.
“From who?”
“Arthur,” Gwaine answered.
Gwen sighed. “What trouble did you two get into this time?”
“Why does everyone say that?” Gwaine grumbled.
“Sorry. What trouble are you two going to get into this time?”
Merlin laughed as Gwaine grinned. “I’m skipping training.”
“I’m skipping chores.”
“Get off the laundry.”
They scrambled over each other to stand in front of her with equal sheepish looks.
“It was his idea.” Merlin jerked a thumb at Gwaine.
“Aye,” Gwaine confirmed. “Seeing as you're busy actually working here, we might as well find another place to hide, Merlin.”
Merlin, who was only too happy to put Arthur’s clothes out of his mind, nodded his agreement.
“Well, don’t forget you promised to collect some flowers for me to put around some of the rooms, Gwaine,” Gwen reminded.
“Oh right.” Gwaine snapped his fingers. “Aye, I’ll do that right now. Merlin? Care to join me?”
“With pleasure.”
They linked arms as girls in markets do and scampered out of the room with Gwen giving them an exasperated but fond look.
----------------------------------------------------
"I think the flowers look too dry."
"Do they?"
"We should water them."
"Should we?"
"Of course. Gwen deserves good flowers, doesn't she?"
Merlin mused. "What do you propose?"
Gwaine looked around. "Isn't there a water pump around here?"
"Yeah, right over by that wall." Merlin pointed.
"Ah." Gwaine clapped his hands. "Now let's get you and me some buckets and we'll water these flowers so they can be in tip-top condition for our lovely future queen Guinevere."
Merlin grinned. "I'll get the buckets, I know where they're kept."
"Just point me in the direction and I'll fetch us a wheelbarrow for the flowers."
------------------------------------------
After the third bucket of water on the large patch of irises, Merlin decided to ask, "Should we really be getting the flowers from the royal gardens?"
Gwaine looked genuinely confused at the question. "Why else would they be here?"
"I don't know. I think it's so that the royalty and the nobles can admire them while they walk."
Gwaine snorted. "Seeing as the royalty we know prefers the blood of the enemies, I don't see any other reason for the flowers to waste away here."
Merlin hummed. "I remember Morgana and Gwen used to come and walk here to admire the flowers nearly every day." He walked with Gwaine to the pump to refill the buckets. "I used to join them from time to time. We used to gossip about what latest stupid thing Arthur was up to that week." He smiled wistfully.
Gwaine put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "I know Morgana used to be a good person and a good friend."
Merlin gave a small, tight smile.
They filled their buckets and brought back the same patch of irises they had been watering when Merlin spotted something.
"Oh look." He put his bucket down and crouched, leaning over the first row of flowers to point at a snail moving through the second row. "We better move it before it drowns with—"
He got cut off as a bucket of water splashed all over him.
Merlin gasped, jerking back at the shock.
As soon as he woke up, he was immediately aware of the blinding pain in his chest as the wet tunic stuck to the wound.
The shock from the cold water rousing him caused him to sway from where his wrists were tied, his legs too weak to hold him.
Morgana strode calmly before him, watching him splutter and gasp in pain with an amused smile.
"Good morning," she said sweetly, but there was a hint of danger present in the undertone.
There was danger everywhere. Merlin was captured and tied up, swaying from his wrists at the mercy of Morgana and the cruel torture she was going to subject him to and no one knew he was here and—
"Merlin! Snap out of it, mate."
Merlin gasped again, clutching the hands that were holding his shoulders tightly.
"That's it, Merls, breathe. Keep breathing."
Merlin's eyes darted around, scanning his surroundings. He wasn't in Morgana's hut.
"Good job. Take another breath now for me."
He was in the royal gardens. There was water all around him but… but that wasn't Morgana, was it?
"Another deep one, my friend. Come on."
No, it was Gwaine. His friend. Someone safe.
Merlin sucked in a last deep breath before he let go of his tight grip on Gwaine to rub his wrists, getting rid of the phantom texture of rope, and then rubbing his eyes.
"Wha— What—"
"You panicked and you weren't breathing." Gwaine finally let go of him and sat beside him on the mud, letting his shoulder touch his.
"Oh." Merlin stopped rubbing his eyes and his eyes flicked over to the empty bucket of water abandoned in front of the flowers. "Sorry," he whispered.
Gwaine shook his head. "No," he said firmly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown water over you like that without warning."
"It isn't your fault. You didn't know it would trigger me."
"Still. I'm sorry."
Merlin smiled. "Apology accepted."
Gwaine returned one, albeit it was still hesitant. "Wanna talk about it?"
Merlin jerked his head from side to side. "No."
"Okay." He clasped a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to sit here for a bit more or keep watering the flowers?"
Merlin wrapped his arms around himself, still trying to get rid of the lingering feeling of being tied up and trapped at Morgana's mercy. "Stay for a bit."
Gwaine nodded. He started fiddling with a leather band around his wrist, absentmindedly undoing the knot, and then redoing it.
Merlin watched the repetitive movement, calming himself. "Thank you," he said quietly.
"Always here for ya, Merlin."
---------------------------------------
"Gwaine… I really do think those are enough flowers."
"Really? Oh well, no harm in picking some more."
"Gwen's only putting it in some rooms, not all of them."
"Merlin, this is a service to the future queen. We must present an above satisfactory job and effort."
"If you say so, Gwaine."
------------------------------------------
"I'm going to go get another wheelbarrow."
"The garden will be bare by the time we're done."
"Exactly why I'm getting another wheelbarrow."
-------------------------------------------
"Gwaine…"
"It's for Gwen!"
"Gwaine…"
"There's no such thing as too many flowers."
"Gwaine…"
"Arthur will be mad and disappointed if we do it."
"...Fine. But only for Arthur."
---------------------------------------
Gwen blinked at the three wheelbarrows full of damp irises, roses, lavenders and pansies. "Oh… you two have really… outdone yourselves."
Gwaine and Merlin, caked in mud head to toe, beamed proudly.
"...You shouldn't have." Gwen finished.
"Nonsense. Anything for our future queen."
Gwen turned red again but decided not to chastise them this once. "Well, since you two have done such… excessive hard work." She plucked an iris and a lavender, handing it to two of them. "These are for you."
Merlin tucked the lavender in his neckerchief. Gwaine put the end of the iris' stem in his mouth.
"Thank you." He did a mock bow with a wave of his hand, making Gwen roll her eyes. He took the flower out of his mouth. "Since our job's done here, let's go set something on fire, Merlin."
"Uh, maybe not set something on fire?" Gwen quickly interrupted with a frown.
"I'm on Gwen with this one," Merlin said apologetically.
"But Merlin! We haven't set anything on fire this past two weeks!"
Merlin winced. "Actually… Lancelot and I already set something on fire."
Gwaine pouted with resentment. "Oh, sorry. I should have known that you preferred Lancelot over me."
"I don't! I like you both equally!"
Gwaine turned away from him, crossing his arms.
Merlin shared an exasperated look with Gwen. "Look," Merlin said. "We didn't actually mean to set anything on fire. So you really can't base your statement over that."
Gwaine turned back to him with glee. "So does that mean you still haven't intentionally set anything else on fire after we burned that old lord's whole underwear drawer two weeks ago?"
"I suppose so."
Gwaine snapped his fingers. "That's it. We're going to set something on fire."
"No, you are not." Gwen put her foot down. "That's an order from your future queen. Arthur is stressed enough as it is about that rumor about Morgana being sighted without you two adding arson to the mix."
Gwaine sighed with disappointment. "Fine."
"We’ll find something else we can do, Gwaine," Merlin suggested.
"If it's not arson then what's the point?" Gwaine asked gloomily.
"I promise it will be just as good. Come on, let's leave Gwen to her chores. She actually likes staying on top of it."
"Try not to get in too much trouble, you two!" she called as Merlin dragged Gwaine out of the room.
"We won’t!" Merlin yelled back even though all three of them knew it was a blatant lie.
----------------------------------------------
“What do we do now?” Gwaine asked as he followed Merlin into Arthur’s chamber.
“After I draw up a bath, set Arthur's lunch and pick his clothes for the feast tonight pretending another servant has done it, I was thinking of bullying Lord Eldric again.” Merlin sorted through Arthur’s closet.
“The guy whose underwear we burnt?” Gwaine poured a bucket of water into the tub.
“Yep. That’s the one.”
“What did he do this time?” Gwaine poured another bucket.
“He called my neckerchief a scrappy piece of clothing.” Merlin buried himself further into Arthur’s closet, his words getting muffled by the clothes.
“That old cur,” Gwaine growled. “I think your neckerchief is very fetching.”
Merlin popped out of the closet and gave Gwaine a smile. “Thank you, Gwaine.”
Gwaine tipped another bucket into the tub. “So what are we going to do this time?”
Merlin paused from picking out a pair of pants and hummed thoughtfully. “Egging his house?”
“That big of a building? We’ll run out of eggs.”
“Egging his room?”
“Would work, but ever since the waxy bed incident, he has guards standing in front of his room day and night. We barely managed to pull off the firey underwear prank.”
Merlin swore. “Right. Hm. What if we expose him again?”
“I think after getting a broken rib from his fourth lover he has given up on love altogether with us still around.”
“Chickens in his room?”
“Already done it.”
“I thought we did that to Lady Maria.”
“No, we put chicken eggs in her room. They hatched overnight.”
“Ohhhh. Right, I remember now.” Merlin sighed, setting the clothes on the screen, ready for the evening. “I’m out of ideas.”
Gwaine tipped the last bucket of hot water. “We’ll have to consult our band then. Maybe find some more dirt on other nobles.”
At the suggestion, Merlin’s eyes lit up. “Yes! They’ll be at the kitchens right now, we’ll gather them up while fetching hot buckets and Arthur’s lunch.”
“I’ll get the lunch, you get the buckets?”
Merlin scowled. “Arthur will actually want food on his plate, Gwaine, not air. After the incident with the exploding stable last week and Morgana’s sighting rumor, he’ll be insufferable if I don’t give him his food. I'll get his lunch.”
Gwaine grumbled all the way to the kitchens.
When they arrived, they were immediately flagged down by Cook Audrey.
“Wha’ are you two doin’ ‘ere?” She narrowed her eyes and brandished the hot metal ladle at them.
Merlin and Gwaine eyed the burning ladle carefully. “Just fetching some hot water and lunch for the king,” Merlin innocently replied.
Cook Audrey narrowed her eyes further. “If I see either o’ you nickin’ my food…”
“You’ll hog-tie us both and put us in ovens, we got that.” Gwaine rolled his eyes, pushing past her.
Merlin flashed her a charming grin which she did not buy as he followed Gwaine.
Once they entered, he immediately found one of the people they were looking for. “Keith!” Merlin waved at him jovially, nearly knocking down a plate of uncooked pastries from a kitchen maid’s hand.
The boy in question snapped his head up and beamed when he saw Gwaine and Merlin, bounding over to them.
“Gwaine! Merlin! Which noble are we going to torture this time?” he asked eagerly.
Gwaine clapped a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll tell you after you gather the rest of the group together.”
Merlin grasped his other shoulder. “Meet us at our usual spot with the others in ten.”
“Yes, Sir Gwaine and Merlin,” Keith saluted, scurrying off.
“I love that kid,” Gwaine said, watching him collide with a bowl of raw eggs and tripping two people. “He takes after you, you know? He admires you a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. His admiration of you is as clear as day.”
Merlin laughed. “Don’t know what there is of me to admire about, but I’m flattered.”
Gwaine turned to him seriously. “There are a lot of characteristics you have that people admire you for.”
Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks. We better get Arthur’s bath and lunch before they both get cold.”
Ten minutes and a narrow scrape at being caught stealing two dumplings later, a small cohort of maidservants and manservants all still growing into their shoes were standing wide-eyed and bursting with energy in front of Gwaine and Merlin at the garbage alley behind the kitchen. It was as stinky as Arthur’s socks and cramped with garbage, but it was the only place where they could meet and wouldn’t be overheard or spied on.
No noble would dare to even glance at a place like this, but Gwaine was the exception. Which was why all of the teenage and kid servants were gaping at him in awe when he climbed on top of a pile of vegetable peels to address the crowd.
Merlin stifled a laugh at their expressions.
“Now, my li’l soldiers.” Gwaine peered down at them. “My friend Merlin and I,” Merlin waved, “have come across a spot of trouble. The greatest of all troubles: We’ve run out of ideas to cause havoc in Camelot.”
The crowd of girls and boy servants gasped in horror.
Gwaine nodded gravely. “‘M afraid it’s true. The king has been working the both of us to death. We’ve been so burnt out that our creativity has run… dry.”
One of the girls clasped a hand to her mouth, tears shining in her eyes.
“Which is why we need your help,” Merlin addressed the crowd now. “Your young brains have a level of creativity unmatched by anyone in the Five Kingdoms!”
Several of the servants flushed at the compliment.
“Plus, you also notice things no one else does.”
“We need two things from you,” Gwaine said. “One—”
“A list of nobles who have wronged someone.”
“And two—”
“A list of ideas we can subject our victims to.”
“We rely on you, our li’l soldiers,” Gwaine said solemnly.
Merlin gave them all a firm nod. “Do not disappoint us.”
Gwaine drew up to his full height. "Now then, who wants to go first?"
Several hands shot up in the air.
A few minutes later, each person was having a go at expressing their ailments or ideas with Merlin jotting them down.
“And— and Lady Fabia— she— she said— she said that I should be neither seen nor— nor heard and— I was failing at both,” one of the servant girls, Alara, sobbed.
Her friend patted her on the back, offering a handkerchief for her to blow her nose into.
“Don’t worry, Rachel,” Gwaine assured. “We’ll make sure Lady Fabia gets what she deserves.”
"Oh! Oh!" Keith bounced on his toes, waving his hand.
"Yes, Keith?"
"Hear me out, hear me out." The boy took a big breath before remarking, "What if we exchange all the dresses in her wardrobe with peasant clothes for a day?"
Gwaine snapped his fingers at him. "Make that two days and you've got yourself a good idea."
Keith blushed and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"We can also accidentally misplace her bed!" Crystal shouted.
"I can help with that!" Quinn piped up. "I've been eatin' my vegetables an' mama said I was strong now. Strong as a knight!"
Merlin almost cooed. "Thank you, Quinn. Anyone else want to help lift the bed out?"
"Me! Me! Me!" The chatter filled the air.
--------------------------------------------
It was only that afternoon when all the lords and ladies and knights had come back to their chambers after lunch, did they realized that the forecasted peaceful day that had been promised to them was wrong.
Lord Alfred screamed in fear when he opened his room to find the floor covered in ants.
Lord Jeff found himself face to face with a mule battering his dining table.
Lady Mags came out of her bath with her hair colored purple while Lady Alivia came out looking like she was cosplaying a bruise, purple tinging her whole skin.
Sir Cumference kept bumping into furniture for absolutely no reason, not realizing that the servants had moved everything from its place by a few inches.
Several nobles found their toothbrushes, face wipe cloths, reading eyeglasses, and other small, inconvenient things missing.
And Lady Fabia sobbed for three hours straight on a pile of blankets, dressed in a maid's skirt and apron.
-----------------------------------------------
Gwaine and Merlin sniggered as they stumbled out of the last noble's room, clapping each other's backs and exchanging mischievous smirks with any of the servants belonging to their little group passed by them in the hallways.
“What do we do now?” Gwaine asked.
“Well, I have to dress Arthur in preparation for the feast that’s happening in a couple hours.”
“Oh, yes! The feast! With lots of wine and ale!” Gwaine turned to his friend seriously. “You won’t give me any of that watered-down stuff again, will you?”
“Not unless Arthur orders me to.”
Gwaine pouted. “He always does that.”
“Yeah, he can be mean that way sometimes,” Merlin said sympathetically.
“I have a very high alcohol tolerance! It’s not like I’m gonna get drunk immediately.”
Merlin patted his friend’s back.
“And even if I do, it’s not like I’ll actually embarrass him. I never have.”
“I know. Arthur can be an ass at times.”
“A royal one.”
“Exactly.”
“Sometimes, I just want to kill him. Just throttle his precious neck.”
Merlin nodded seriously. “You know what, you’re onto something there. How would one go about killing Arthur?”
Gwaine mused. “Well, I suppose if we disguise ourselves as servants—”
“I’m already a servant.”
“Oh. Right. Well, I suppose if I disguise myself as a servant, I could sneak into the feast.”
Merlin shook his head. “No, the steward keeps tight track of who goes in and who goes out.”
“Well, I would go and add my name to the steward’s list then. There are so many servants in here, no one man can keep a track of all of them.”
Merlin bristled in annoyance. “I do.”
Gwaine smiled affectionately at his friend. “That’s because you’re you, Merlin. I would expect nothing less.”
Merlin beamed at the compliment.
They had arrived in front of Arthur’s room and stopped.
“Well, after you disguise yourself as a servant, then I suppose you could sneak in and poison his wine or something.”
“Well, it would be easy for you since you’re the only one allowed to serve him.” Gwaine leaned against the wall. “For me… hmm. I’ll have to lead him out of the hall somehow. Or else too many witnesses around.”
“Then you stab him!”
“Then I stab him!” Gwaine cheered. Then his face fell. “But how would I lure him out?”
Merlin pondered, tapping his chin. “He wouldn’t leave the hall for any simple excuse. He’ll send his knights instead, needing to keep up appearances. The only way he would leave is…”
Merlin gasped then exclaimed, “The bathroom!”
Gwaine snapped his fingers. “Excellent. We drug his food so he has no choice but to leave.”
“Why don’t we just drug his food with a sedative?” Merlin tilted his head.
“Because there are too many people.”
“Oh, right.” Merlin frowned. “But after we lure him out, we can’t exactly use brute force.”
“No, he’s too good at fighting. We’ll have to drug him then.” Gwaine ran a hand through his hair pondering. “What’s that— that napkin thing?” He drummed his fingers impatiently against the wall. “That mixture of hogswart and something that can knock a man out?”
“Oh! Hogswart and phylarian!”
“Yeah, that! We knock him out.”
“Then we stab him!” Merlin threw his arms up elatedly.
“Then we stab him! >:D” Gwaine confirmed enthusiastically. “In the gut!”
“Disembowel him!”
“Pull his intestines out!”
“Slice his throat!”
“Pull out his trachea—” The door opened and slammed Gwaine on his nose. “Ow.”
Arthur poked his head out. “Are you two seriously planning my assassination in front of my room?”
Merlin glowered at him. “What’s it to you?”
Arthur scowled. “It’s my murder.”
“Not everything has to be about you, princess.” Gwaine huffed, rounding the door and standing beside Merlin. “You’re not that special.”
Arthur scowled harder. “Merlin. I need to get dressed.” He stepped back inside his room.
“Pampered ass,” Gwaine muttered, following him inside.
Merlin scurried forward to lay out his clothes in the order he liked.
“Gwaine.” Arthur leaned against his desk and sighed. “What are you doing here?”
“Hanging out with my friend, Merlin.”
“I’m changing.”
“I won’t look.”
Exasperated, Arthur gave up, disappearing behind the screen.
Merlin flashed Gwaine a grin before going after Arthur behind the screen.
Gwaine took to wandering around the room.
“What were you two doing all day?” Arthur asked, his voice muffled.
“Just hanging,” Merlin answered.
“If you two are together, I know that means trouble. You weren’t here the whole day, Merlin.”
Gwaine replied on Merlin’s behalf, nearing the screen but staying in front of it. “He doesn’t always have to be at your beck and call, princess.”
“Yes, he does.” Gwaine could hear the frown in his voice. “That’s his job.”
“Such a cruel job.”
“Thanks, Gwaine.”
“Shut up, Merlin. You were rewarded the job.”
“I recall that neither of us wanted it.”
“Who in their right mind would reward someone to become a servant?” Gwaine gibed.
Arthur popped his head through the side of the screen. “My father,” he said shortly before disappearing again.
Gwaine bit the inside of his cheek. He knew that Uther’s death was still a touchy subject for Arthur.
He emerged out of the screen, dressed in a deep green tunic under a royal, dark red loose jacket with a golden-buckled belt keeping it in place at his waist. Black breeches, the ones he often wore for sparring and fighting, were decorated with jeweled stones at the pockets.
Gwaine raised an eyebrow. “Your fashion taste is impeccable, Merlin,” he complimented Merlin instead, knowing it would drive Arthur mad.
And it did. The king gave him a dirty look before sitting on a chair for Merlin to put on his boots.
Wanting to rile the royal up more, Gwaine squatted down beside Merlin and picked up Arthur’s other boot.
“What are you doing?” Arthur asked.
“Helping Merlin.”
“You’re a knight, not a servant.”
Gwaine simpered daringly. “I’m off-duty.”
“No, you are not. You skipped training and shirked your duties today.”
Gwaine finished fastening the last buckle, exchanging a fist bump with Merlin, and waved the statement away. “I’ll make it up tomorrow.”
“Yes, you will. Sparring practice with me. Tomorrow. Noon. Be there.” As an afterthought, Arthur added, “Sober.”
“Aye aye, sir.” He saluted, standing up.
“Well, I’m off!” Merlin declared, already opening the door. “I need to get ready too and help out with the preparations at the feast. Try not to wrinkle those clothes, Arthur, will you?”
Gwaine stretched, yawning. “I’ll come with.”
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Make sure you check with Leon where you’ll be sitting at the feast today.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Gwaine left the room with Merlin.
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While Merlin was shouting directions at Gwaine who was precariously balancing on a ladder while reaching up to hang a Pendragon banner, Crystal and Keith approached them.
“We need your help,” Crystal said.
“Just a sec, Crystal,” Merlin said patiently before yelling at Gwaine, “A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT!”
“LIKE THIS?” Gwaine hollered back.
Merlin tilted his head, considering. Then he gave a thumbs up. Gwaine hooked the banner on the metal hook and tilted it to the right just like Merlin had said.
“Now, what is it that you want?” Merlin bent down a little.
“The steward just told us to place the candles around the hall,” Keith explained, distressed. “Which means we don’t have the time to flood Lord Adler’s room.”
“That won’t do at all. Don’t worry about it, I’m nearly done with my chores thanks to Gwaine, we’ll finish flooding Adler’s room before the end of the next hour.”
Keith bounced excitedly. “Thank you, Merlin and Sir Gwaine!” Crystal said before the two dashed off.
Gwaine jumped down the last two steps of the ladder. “What did Lord Adler do again? We only flood the rooms of those who were outright inhumane since it’s hard to get rid of water and sleep on a wet bed.”
Merlin picked up a discarded garland of flowers and made his way to one of the doors which was missing decoration. “He tried to send Cherry to the dungeons. Arthur stopped him.”
Gwaine’s lips curled downwards in distaste. “That motherfucker. She’s only thirteen.”
“Yeah, well, some nobles are quite touchy about servants talking back to them. She spoke up when she caught him cheating on his tax pay, not realizing that she was literate, then said something about her being just a servant and her word not counting for anything. Of course, that was when Arthur showed up and found him twisting her arm.”
Merlin recalled with satisfaction when Arthur had fined Adler instead of listening to him prattle on about Cherry lying and needing to be sent to the dungeons. He had forgotten it had happened a couple of days ago. Cherry had brought it up today and he had immediately written down the lord’s name, lest he forgot again.
When Merlin didn't hear an answer from Gwaine, he turned to the man. "Gwaine?"
The knight was looking down at his clenched fists, face twisted in a pained sort of look.
"Gwaine, what's wrong?"
Gwaine didn't answer for a few moments, continuing to stare down intensely at his tightly clenched fists.
Then, he said, "Merlin… about the Lamia…"
"Gwaine!" Merlin laughed. "You're still hung up on that? You've already brought it up and apoligized ten times already."
"Still. Merlin." Gwaine swallowed. "All those things I said about you being just a servant, what if those came from a real belief I had? What if, for all the incessant preaching I do about nobility coming from the heart rather than blood, I secretly still believe in the line between nobles and servants? And the Lamia just brought it out and I took it out on you?" Gwaine shook his head forcefully. "I feel awful about that. You're my friend, Merlin. The first real one I got. And I hate to lose you, especially through pushing you away like that."
Merlin sighed and smiled.
The reason he recovered so well from the Lamia incident was because of repeated and earnest apologies from, not just Gwaine, but the rest of the knights too. Arthur still wasn't aware of the full details, all of them silently and unanimously agreeing to keep the shameful experience between themselves. The king was aware on some level that something more had happened than just what their reports said, but since they had sorted it out amongst themselves and had grown closer, he let go.
"Gwaine," Merlin said, putting his hand on top of his friend's shoulder. "If you really believed that, then you wouldn't be voicing those thoughts to me. You would think apologizing to a servant was beneath you and walk away with your nose held in the air like most of everyone else in this castle does. But you don’t. You don't believe that. I know this because while a single apology from a noble would have been considered beneath them, you've given me ten. Eleven now."
Gwaine's lips lifted upward slightly.
"Plus," Merlin continued, dropping his hand. "The night after the Lamia died, you snuck into my room while I was sleeping and cried for a solid thirty minutes before I noticed and woke up. I forgave you right there and then, your remorse—though you had no control for your actions—was real."
"Is real," Gwaine corrected. "And it was a little more than fifteen minutes, not thirty."
"Right. In any case. You're forgiven. I've gotten over it. And we have a certain lord's room we still need to flood before the feast."
At that, Gwaine immediately brightened. "Hell yeah. Can't wait to see the look on his face."
The two shoved each other playfully as they left the feast hall.
-----------------------------------------------------
“How do I look?” Merlin asked, gesturing at himself as he held a silver pitcher.
"Unflattering," Arthur replied just as Gwaine said, "Dashing."
Percival, Elyan and Gwen (also holding a pitcher) tried keeping their laughter in.
Lancelot reached over to adjust the new purple neckerchief Merlin had put on. "You look good, Merlin," Lancelot smiled, nodding.
Merlin beamed.
Gwaine rolled his eyes.
No, he wasn't jealous of Lancelot. Lancelot was friendly, noble and chivalrous with everyone, even when possessed by the Lamia he still managed to subdue himself more than the others. He definitely wasn't side-eyeing their friendship and actively planning on drugging his food so Lancelot would be stuck in the shits the rest of the night so he could have Merlin all to himself.
Okay, maybe that plan was because he was a teeny bit jealous, but only because Lancelot was a greedy hog. He was bogarting too much Merlin Time. It was his turn.
Though, Gwaine couldn't blame Lancelot for that. Merlin was charming. Everyone should be actively looking for time to hang out with him.
Arthur was the exception because the king was, as Merlin often said, an assy prat.
Or did he say a pratty ass?
Either of the two.
"Alright, stop bunching together," Arthur said, waving a dismissive hand. "Go socialize. I have more people to talk to than just you."
Leon and Lancelot bowed before heading off while the others left with a smile.
Gwaine stayed where he was, by the barrels containing alcohol.
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "You will be serving Gwaine from your pitcher too, won't you?" he addressed Merlin.
"Yes, sire."
"Good."
Gwaine narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What's in the pitcher?"
"Watered-down wine," Arthur replied with a smirk.
Before Gwaine could dramatically pout, Merlin interrupted, "Um…"
The three turned to Merlin. "What's in the pitcher, Merlin?" Gwen asked in askance.
Merlin shuffled his feet. "Pomegranate juice."
Arthur looked annoyed and Gwen looked amused. "Why pomegranate juice?" she asked.
Merlin shrugged. "Water wine gets boring."
"You didn't seriously bring pomegranate juice to the feast just so you could drink it too," Arthur said incredulously.
"Hey! I get hungry during feasts!"
"Like nicking things off my plate isn't enough. Take from Gwaine this time."
Gwaine shrugged, he didn't mind if Merlin stole food from his plate. He sneaked some to passing servants who looked bored or hungry anyway.
Merlin snorted. "Gwaine isn't the one who should be watching his weight."
Arthur scowled and stormed off while Gwen and Gwaine snickered with Merlin.
"Did you manage to put flowers in all the rooms, Gwen?" Merlin asked.
"Yes. You two were a real help. The other maidservants told me to pass down their thanks." She glanced at Gwaine and smirked. "Especially Dina."
Gwaine turned around, spotted Dina the maid watching him, and gave her a smile. She turned red and returned one before hurrying away.
Merlin laughed.
After that, Gwen waved goodbye temporarily to help the others set up the table with food. Since Merlin was the king's personal manservant, he was excused from that, needing to trail around after Arthur instead.
And of course, Gwaine was trailing around Merlin. He covered for Merlin as the servant had managed to hide a glass under his jacket and was using it to drink some of the juice.
Arthur, though, noticed and was glowering at the two of them. He tapped his glass and Merlin hurried forward to fill it. Arthur sniffed it with interest.
"I squeezed it myself!" Merlin declared proudly.
The king nearly rolled his eyes, but managed to stop before he publicly did so, taking a sip from his glass. "It's good," he begrudgingly admitted.
"I know," Merlin said happily, then, something caught his eye.
Gwaine followed Merlin's gaze to a red-headed servant who was bringing in a plate of roast chicken and setting it delicately down on the table.
"What is it?" Gwaine whispered.
"I don't recognize him," Merlin hissed back.
Gwaine frowned. "That's suspicious. You know everybody in this castle."
"I know."
"Will you two stop whispering?" Arthur stepped in between them. "It's distracting." He looked up just as Lady Mags entered the room.
Merlin bit the inside of his cheek while Gwaine bit his lip to keep from bursting into laughter.
Arthur, and several other people, stared. "Why is Lady Mags's hair purple?"
He must have spoken loudly enough for her to hear, because she took one look at everyone, burst into tears then ran off.
"Lady Alivia has more sense," Gwaine commented. "She knows how to not embarrass herself."
"I don't blame her," Merlin choked, still stifling a laugh. "She wasn't the one who publicly humiliated Jamie."
"No, she privately insulted Charli."
Arthur narrowed his eyes at them. "Did you two prank the nobles as revenge again?"
"Someone has to deal out justice," Gwaine argued.
"Yes. The king."
"The king's too oblivious to notice these things."
It was meant to be teasing, but Gwaine had struck a nerve. Arthur truly cared about his people, even the servants. Hearing that the mistreatment was happening right under his nose obviously distressed him.
"Some word of advice, sire," Gwaine said gently. "Perhaps you should talk to the common folk as much as the nobles."
Arthur turned to him in consideration. Then he nodded.
"Start with Keith," Merlin suggested. "He's that boy over there. He was the one who cleaned your shambolic room while I was otherwise occupied."
"In the tavern again?" Arthur teased.
"No. Celery-head. I was busy seeking out justice on behalf of the unfairly oppressed."
Shaking his head, Arthur awkwardly approached Keith, who immediately squeaked and flailed his pitcher around which connected with the back of Gwen's head.
It was times like these that Gwaine was actually proud to have sworn fealty to Arthur. He was the only noble he met who truly cared deeply about all his people and their wellbeing. He wouldn't serve under any other man.
Leaving Gwen's tact and Arthur's awkwardness to calm down the close-to-hyperventilating boy, Merlin and Gwaine walked over to where Percival and Leon were standing, chatting with each other.
"Pomegranate juice?" Merlin offered.
"Ooh, yes please," Gwaine immediately replied, snagging a glass from Percival and holding it out to Merlin.
With a chuckle, Merlin poured. And since it was Percival's glass first, Gwaine let him have the first sip as the two shared. It was habit by now.
The unfamiliar servant appeared again and Merlin snapped his eyes over to him.
"He's back," Merlin breathed.
Gwaine, immediately, was on high alert.
"Who's back?" Leon probed.
"That red-head servant over there," Merlin subtly gestured.
"What about him?" Percival leaned forward with curiosity.
"He's suspicious."
"How?"
Gwaine replied in Merlin's stead, "Because Merlin has never seen him before."
"No, it's not that I haven't seen him. It's just that I don't know him," Merlin amended.
"Well, you can't expect yourself to know every member of the castle," Leon said logically. The fool.
"Yes, he can," Gwaine jumped to his defense, rounding on Leon and glaring at him for his boneheadedness. "Because he's Merlin."
"What's going on here?" Lancelot approached them. "Why is Gwaine staring hostilely at Leon?"
"Because Leon's dumb," Gwaine replied shortly.
Leon just sighed, used to his antics. "Merlin spotted a servant who he doesn't personally know and apparently he thinks it automatically makes him suspicious."
Lancelot's eyes widened. "Merlin doesn't know him?" He tensed. "Where?"
Merlin pointed again.
Lancelot eyed him with distrust. "I'll keep an eye on him," he promised.
"You can't be serious," Leon said.
Lancelot looked him straight in the eye. "If Merlin doesn't know a person who lives in Camelot, then they are definitely here to murder someone. Most of the time, Arthur."
Leon threw his hands up in the air and stalked off.
"What about you, Percival?" Merlin faced the big man. "Do you believe me?"
"I've heard enough of your warnings about bandits attacking, then them actually attacking to know that I should at least consider your suspicions," Percival replied. "I also trust Lancelot's judgement."
The two smiled at the compliment.
Oh yeah, Percival was just charming, wasn't he?
"I believed you first," Gwaine pointed out.
Merlin laughed. "Thank you, Gwaine."
Gwaine smiled broadly at him then turned to Percival and folded his arms, staring at him smugly.
Percival looked confused.
"Look!" Lancelot suddenly hissed. "Arthur's leaving the room alone!"
Sure enough, Arthur was hurriedly walking out of the room.
Gwaine beckoned Gwen forward, the last person who was with Arthur. "Do you know where Arthur is going?"
Gwen looked puzzled. "He's just going to relieve himself." She tilted her head. "What's wrong? Why are you all tense?"
"Why is Arthur leaving for the bathroom so soon?" Merlin wondered out loud. Then he gasped and turned to Gwaine. "Unless."
Gwaine widened his eyes. "You don't think—"
"It would certainly explain it, wouldn't it?"
"What's going on?" Lancelot butted in.
Gwaine pulled back a sneer. For once, Lancelot wasn't the one exchanging secret glances and cryptic words with Merlin. And they did that way too often. Gwaine internally smiled in satisfaction.
“Arthur’s in danger,” Merlin replied, slipping into that Serious and Protective stance he had whenever the king was in trouble.
“By going to the bathroom?” Gwen asked.
He sometimes is certainly stupid enough to, Gwaine thought jovially.
“No time to explain!” Merlin thrust the pomegranate juice pitcher into Gwen’s hands.
Gwaine, as always, followed Merlin. He made sure to keep Lancelot a step behind him, though the man was making it hard. Couldn’t he take a clue in? Stupid, oblivious, noble and handsome knight. Percival at least had the decency to let Gwaine overtake him.
They passed Elyan on the way who, without question, started running with him while carrying the chicken leg that he was about to eat in his hand. “What’s happening?” he asked.
“Saving Arthur,” Percival replied.
Elyan nodded and doubled his speed.
The five burst out of the hallway, led by Merlin—and damn the servant was fast. Probably practiced by the seven years he spent running after Arthur. With how often the royal got himself in danger, he probably had more practice running after Arthur than Gwaine did running from gamblers who wanted to kill him.
“ARTHUR!” Merlin yelled as they turned a corner and spotted the redhead servant nearing Arthur.
Arthur swiveled around, confusedly staring at the group charging towards him and completely missing the redhead servant charging at him with a knife. He may be a caring king, but he was one stupid himbo.
Which was why he had knights (and a manservant) to keep him alive.
Gwaine grabbed the chicken leg from Elyan’s hand and threw it at the redhead servant assassin.
The chicken leg flew through the air…
And hit the redhead’s red head square at the back.
Startled, the assassin slipped and fell, jaw colliding hard with the floor.
Gwaine barely gave him enough time to recover before he too was flying through the air like Chickabidee the Chicken Leg and landed right on top of the redhead assassin, forcing the air out of his lungs.
“What the hell?!” Arthur exclaimed.
“Gotcha!” Gwaine said, then promptly had an elbow rammed into his jaw, clacking his teeth painfully. That was gonna bruise.
Fortunately, Percival was there for the rescue.
The Brobdingnagian knight pushed the red-head assassin to the floor with his burly arms and bulky weight, keeping him pinned in place as well as holding him off from knocking more of those pointy elbows into Gwaine’s glamorous and handsome jaws. Jaw. He only had one, he recalled.
“Good man, Percival!” Elyan said. Gwaine agreed.
Just then, thundering footsteps of several knights neared them, all led by Leon with Gwen beside him. He took in the scene and hurried forward, stopping in front of Lancelot.
“Gwen told me that Arthur was in danger and you went after him?” Leon asked.
Lancelot nodded. “We stopped him. Or, well, Gwaine stopped him with a chicken leg and Percival sat—is sitting—on top of him.” He gestured towards the three. Gwaine gave his most endearing grin.
Leon just blinked.
With the assassin immobilized, Merlin crouched in front of him and reached into the pockets of his breeches to pull out a piece of cloth.
“What’s that?” Lancelot asked.
“A mixture of hogswart and phylarian,” Merlin explained, then he turned to Arthur, who was still gaping in shock. Really, with the amount of times the man had nearly been killed, he should be over it by now. “Did you accept anything from him?”
Arthur blinked, before replying, “A— a glass of wine. He said— he said he thought I needed it.”
Merlin and Gwaine exchanged looks. “He drugged the wine with something that would give you bowel problems,” Merlin said.
“And while you were going to the toilet, he was going to knock you out with the drugged scrap of cloth,” Gwaine continued.
“Then he was going to stab you. In the gut,” Merlin clarified.
“Then disembowel you.”
“Then pull your intestines out.”
“And slice your throat.”
“And pull out your trachea.”
Arthur’s eyes widened, before, in a flash, his eyebrows scrunched into a frown and he sighed irately.
“How do you know this?” Leon inquired warily.
“Because they planned the assassination,” Arthur answered, arms folded and fingers drumming against his right arm.
Leon blinked again. “What?”
“We were talking about how, theoretically, we could successfully assassinate Arthur in front of his room,” Merlin clarified, though to Leon it seemed that his clarification still confused him. “He must have overheard us.”
“I overheard you,” Arthur grated his teeth. “Take him away,” he waved an arm.
Two of the knights from the crowd stepped forward and grabbed Merlin’s arms.
“Hey!” Merlin protested.
Gwaine rose up and pulled his sleeves up, ready to sucker-punch the schmucks to the clouds.
“Let him go,” Arthur ordered. “I meant put him in the dungeons.” He pointed at the redhead who was wheezing now with Percival still on top of him.
Percival looked down surprised, as if he just remembered that he was sitting on top of him.
“But… didn’t he just admit that he was the one who planned the assassination?” one of the knights, Henry, Gwaine remembered, protested.
Gwaine took a step forward, ready to crack the jackass’s ribs.
“If he really had any intentions to kill me, he would have discussed his plans somewhere where the king himself likely wouldn’t hear,” Arthur said irritably. “He would not be discussing it in front of my bedroom door. Now, let him go.”
The two knights let go of Merlin’s arms, though one of them, Elijah, shoved Merlin a little.
Gwaine raised his fist to crack his skull, but someone caught his arm.
Gwaine turned his head to glare at Lancelot. “Don’t. Arthur took care of it,” Lancelot the oh-so-Noble-and-Brave said.
“Gwaine,” Arthur warned before Gwaine could ignore Lancelot and punch the two anyway.
Gwaine pouted at the lack of violence.
“At least you got to hit someone with a chicken leg,” Merlin soothed, standing beside him as Sirs Henry and Elijah dragged the glowering redhead assassin towards the dungeons.
Gwaine hummed. “Do you think we have time to get revenge on two more nobles?”
“Definitely.”
Arthur stepped in front of them, clearing his throat.
Merlin’s eyebrows went up and a small smirk appeared on his lips, as did on Gwaine’s.
“You know, if you two weren’t actively planning my murder, this all could have been avoided.”
Their smirks dropped, replaced by glares.
“What does it take for you to say thank you,” Merlin snapped then turned on his heel and stomped away.
“Good job, jerk,” Gwaine spat. “Now you’ve upset Merlin.”
Arthur rubbed his face tiredly. “I’ll apologize before bed. Let me just… digest what happened first.”
Gwaine also twisted on his heel, nose in the air, and stalked off after Merlin. He’ll give him his time to digest. He was also probably busting to go to the toilet but controlling himself so as not to lose appearances in front of all the knights. And Gwen. She was currently hovering around Arthur, checking to see if he was okay.
Those two lovebirds.
Meanwhile, Gwaine still had one more thing to do with his partner in crime before the moon fully rose.
---------------------------------------------------------
The two left the knights’ quarters, giggling to themselves as they ran through the moonlit hallways of the castle, covered in bog mud. They only stopped when they arrived at the stables which were on the way to the royal chambers.
“That will teach them,” Gwaine promised. “They’ve always had it out for you.”
Merlin shrugged. “I don’t blame them. After the time I accidentally served them both half a spider while on a mission, they’ve been giving me dirty looks ever since.”
“Oh, I’ve never heard of that one before.”
“That’s because it was before you arrived in Camelot.”
Gwaine laughed. “That’s one long grudge.”
Merlin leered. “And that spider had some long legs.”
Gwaine choked on his next laugh.
The two wandered into the stables to feed their horses a goodnight treat before heading towards the stairs to Arthur’s chambers. Gwaine slung an arm around his friend’s shoulders and ruffled his hair with his other hand as they walked in peaceful silence.
They arrived in front of the king’s chambers again, standing outside the door.
“Well, Gwaine,” Merlin said, putting his hands on his hips. “We’ve shirked our duties the whole day, ransacked half the royal gardens, pranked a little more than a score of nobles for revenge, planned the king’s assassination, then stopped said king’s assassination.”
“Don’t forget Arthur’s chores, pomegranate juice and chicken leg.”
Merlin chuckled. “Of course. More than that, we’ve just spent the whole day together. Has the chaos satisfied you?”
Gwaine took a step back to regard his friend. Mud-covered, a cheeky grin on his face, and eyes twinkling with fondness and devilry. The servant who wasn’t really a servant, but the best person you could ever ask to be by your side. His first friend.
“Yes, Merlin,” he said softly. “The chaos has satisfied me.”
Merlin smiled, lips twisting in fondness. “Good. I like spending time with you.”
“We should do it more often then.”
Merlin let out a puff of mirth. “For sure. Whenever I’m not busy, that is. Sorry I couldn’t before.”
Gwaine put a hand on his shoulder. “Merlin, any amount of time with you is a treasure. Never stop being yourself.”
A flash of sadness crossed his face so quickly that Gwaine thought he must have imagined it. Especially when Merlin broke into one of his big, goofy smiles. “You too, Gwaine. See you later.”
Gwaine bobbed his head once before heading off.
It was only when he had reached the end of the hallway did he hear the door opening and Arthur’s voice shrieking, “YOU TWO DID WHAT?”
Gwaine smirked as he descended down the stairs.