Chapter Text
Ben doesn't look up from his textbook when the chair next to him is yanked out and a body throws itself down into it. He doesn’t even look up when said body lets out a long sorrowful sigh. Bloody hell, it’s going to be a long day isn’t it?! Of his small group of friends, only Christian is capable of kicking up a commotion like that, and in a library no less.
"Chilllyy... I'm dying," his friend whines.
Ben lifts an eyebrow and hums in disinterest.
"Aren't you going to ask me from what, Chilly?" Christian sits up and prods at Ben’s arm.
"Nope," Ben pops the 'p'. " I already have an idea and I'm not getting sucked into that bad telenovela that is the Christian and Mason show."
"Fine if you won't ask, then I'll just tell you - it's heartbreak, Chilly! Heartbreak," Christian rambles on, ignoring everything Ben had just said.
The older male just shakes his head, ready to be done with his friend's antics. He really doesn’t have time for this, not when a very important exam is approaching. But like always, Christian’s going to have that drop a few notches down Ben’s list of ‘important things to do’. The Englishman regrets not telling Christian to do one when the younger male said they should be friends.
Christian's now begun making whimpering sounds that are loud enough to draw a couple of stares. They would be funny if they weren't actually really, really annoying. He looks up at Christian without fully lifting his head. The younger male is pouting, like, bottom lip is out and quivering sort of pouting. He's shooting Ben the puppy-dog eyes, too and the combo is just too much for the Englishman to take. He gives in and in record time, no less.
Ben groans and puts a small ruler on the page to mark where he'd left off before he closes the book and places his elbow on top of it.
"Let’s get this over with already. What happened?" He asks in a bored voice.
"Not here," Christian says as he gets up and grabs his bag already making his way to the library exit.
Ben groans again, and prays that whoever's listening will give him strength for what’s to come. On second thought strength isn't a good idea because he'll most likely end up strangling Christian. Then he'll have to pray for bail money too. He packs his things and walks quickly after his friend, catching up to him as he exits the university’s library.
"Where are we going?" He asks even though he’s already started following.
"I need coffee. And churros. A -"
"I'm a broke university student, Christian. Coffee and a churro is all you're getting out of me," Ben cuts him off before he can list the entire menu.
It doesn't take long for the two to get their coffees and Christian’s churros. From the coffee shop, the two head all the way across campus to Christian's dorm room. After arriving, Christian basically throws the door open and beelines for his bed, flinging himself down on the piece of furniture in a very dramatic fashion. After closing the door like a civilized bloke, Ben moves over and takes a seat next to his suffering yet equally insufferable friend and pats his leg twice as a way of telling him to move the fuck over.
"I sat next to Mason in our German class today. When he looked over at me, do you know what he said?"
Ben's eyebrows nearly touch his hairline as he looks around the room. It feels like he's on that game show when you can call a friend for the answer. He’s totally down for doing that, but the only problem is he’s got one friend and it's the quack in front of him who’s actually doing the questioning. Fuck it, he thinks in the end as he just settles on shaking his head.
"He said 'hi', well 'hallo' actually. Can you believe it!?" Christian asks throwing his hands up like it's the worst thing in the world.
Ben fails to see what the big deal is, but settles on saying, "so he's polite. Good on you for falling for someone with manners, so I'm just gonna -" he gestures to the door with his thumb, already halfway up off the mattress.
Christian yanks him back down by his arm and now its Ben's turn to pout. "He's supposed to compliment me on how I look, use a cheesy pick up line or hey, maybe even propose.” He turns back to face Ben. “ He’s not just supposed to say 'hi' - hallo," Christian curses. "You get the point."
During that whole (confusing and dumb) little tirade, Ben felt his brain cells jumping off some mental cliff like suicidal mental lemmings. It felt like he had porridge - no – soup in his head and he's sure that it’s showing on his face as well.
When he finally regains some of his bearings, he turns to Christian with a look that says you're a f****** d*** p***, you d******. Because he’s a fucking S-rank friend, he censor's his insults. "Firstly, why are you taking a German class? You’re already fluent in German! And second, your expectations when it comes to love are unrealistic at best and plain... nevermind. I give up," Ben says, massaging his temples.
"How are else am I gonna meet cute guys, Chilly!?" Christian asks, disregarding whatever sense just spewed from Ben’s mouth.
"Then why not take... I don’t know, French?"
Christian doesn't answer just makes a weird face.
Ben’s hands move from his temples to rub at his forehead. That’s definitely an impending headache, he tells himself once the throbbing starts. Prolonged exposure to Christian isn't good for one's health - mental or physical apparently. That should totally be like on his warning label or something. The younger male can be like radioactive material at times so maybe Ben can get the UK government to return him to Chernobyl... or drop him in Liverpool.
"Besides, if Mason ever needs a tutor, I could offer to help him and we can have sex on his couch," Christian says like it's not the dumbest thing he said in the last 30 seconds.
"Thanks for the image.” Ben gets up and walks toward the telly. “Let's just play some FIFA."
The following week, both Ben and Christian are standing in a line at the campus coffee shop, a matter of urgency ever since the younger male had found out that Mason had just started his job there. It was like the entire student body chose that specific time to want a fix of caffeine and the line was fucking ridiculous.
Needless to say, Ben was not happy and that was putting it politely.
"Why can't I stick with our old spot? The campus shop's coffee tastes like backwash mixed in with dishwater," Ben had whined.
Christian just gave him an unimpressed look and said, "Solidarity! We have to stand united. We’re Like... like the E.U or the United States!"
"But I'm British so neither of those apply," Ben replied, deadpan.
Ben had yet to learn that when it came to Christian, all his arguing would amount to naught. The line moved and the two friends stepped up to the counter where Mason was busy taking the orders. The other lad regarded them both with a smile.
"Hey, Mason. This is Ben. Ben, Mason," Christian introduced the two. Ben schooled his expression into less of a glare and hummed in greeting.
Mason's smile dimmed a bit and he turned back to Christian. "So uhh, what can I get you guys?"
Christian gave his own order and turned to Ben, waiting for him to tell Mason what he wanted. The Englishman instead crossed his arms over his chest and muttered something about Christian not caring what he wanted and how he disregarded Ben’s feelings. That earned Ben a pinch to the ribs and Christian ordering him a latte with a forced smile.
"You're making me look bad," Christian grit out after the two moved off to the side. The American watched as Mason continued taking orders, even doing the whole swooning thing Ben had only ever seen in movies. The object of the American’s affections looked over at them and offered a smile which Christian returned together with a wave. This was becoming painful to watch.
"Bad coffee and puppy love. I feel sick already," Ben muttered to himself. Well, mostly but Christian had somehow heard and elbowed him.
Ben rubbed at the sore spot with a grimace. “I thought love was supposed to make people more calm and gentle, but I think you’re doing it wrong coz it’s only made you more violent.”
When their order was ready, Christian walked over to the counter to collect it. Mason handed it to him with a restrained smile and gestures for Christian to move his head in closer so that the two could talk without the risk of being overheard. "I get the idea that your boyfriend doesn’t like me much." Mason glances over at Ben.
Yeah, I would totally ride you - wait what? It’s like Christian's brain short circuits before it goes completely offline. He looks at Mason then turns his head to stare at Ben for a moment, the Englishman still looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Afterward, he turns back to Mason. "Yeah, he can be a bit jealous sometimes," Christian blurts out and – what in the actual fuck is he doing right now?
Mason's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Jealous? How come?"
"Yeah, he thinks there might be something going on here," Christian says, feigning embarrassment as he moves his index finger between the two of them.
"Well." Mason starts and begins wiping the counter. "You can tell him that he has absolutely nothing to worry about. We're just classmates, aren't we?"
Christian's smile falters briefly. "Uh, yeah. Totally," he stutters out. "See you around, Mason." He turns and walks back to his friend and hands him his latte.
"Hey, so Mason thinks you're my boyfriend and I'm going to need you to keep being that."
The to-go cup nearly slips from Ben’s hand. He must’ve misheard the American. "Uh, what?"
"I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend." Christian says slower and more clearly this time. It’s like he’s talking about something totally normal and not his very own level of stupid or crazy. Still, Ben’s brain has difficulty comprehending what he’s saying.
"Uh, what?" Apparently that’s all his brain can string together now.
Christian rolls his eyes and pulls Ben by the arm and out of the coffee shop. The two of them step out into the rather warm afternoon air and walk past students who are mulling around or waiting for their next class to begin.
"How did he even come to the conclusion that we're dating!?" Ben sputters out, nonplussed.
Christian takes a sip from his cup, shrugging suspiciously.
Ben raises an eyebrow, glaring at his friend. "You didn't think to correct him?"
"He looked kinda sad. I think it's because he thinks that I’m not single," the American surmises and turns excitedly back to Ben. "Guys in relationships are more desirable than single guys! It's like a... scientific fact or something."
"That so? Wow." Ben’s tone is as dry as the coffee shop‘s scones
"Totally. So, here's my proposal," Christian begins, ignoring Ben' sarcastic 'this should be good'. "You and I pretend to date. We make Mason jealous and then he and I hook up. Sounds great, doesn't it?" Christian finishes excitedly.
"You’ve really outdone yourself this time," Ben says flatly.