Chapter Text
Keigo never thought he‘d end up in rehab at the tender age of 16.
On the news, addicts all looked half in their grave by the time they hit 20. Movies portrayed them as thieves and murderers - anything for the next fix.
Keigo met no stereotypes. He looked his age. He was handsome and knew manners, he didn’t sleep around for drugs and money and he wasn’t stupid. Yet, here he was.
For the first week, Keigo had a horrible time. He never met that many people who shared this ugly habit with him. Movies and media didn’t really deceive after all - some patients were offputting but harmless as long as Keigo kept his distance. He was placed in the juvenile ward and it was striking how young some of the kids were.
Two weeks into his addiction therapy, Keigo noticed a patient he never met before. The wards weren’t that big and frankly, he boy was hard to go unnoticed. If it wasn’t the stark white hair and intensely blue eyes, it would be the low cut, baggy t-shirt that exposed skin that was littered with all types of scars, differing in severity and healing stages. He was tall and lanky, his features were angular.
Keigo first saw him in the common area, lounging in a two seater by himself with a cup of vending machine coffee. When he raised his head and Keigo met his eyes for a second, he noticed pinkish scars elongating the corners of his mouth, barely noticeable but still there. He’s never seen anybody with this much selfharm on them. It made him a bit uneasy so Keigo left to sit in his room that day.
After finishing his daily activities, Keigo got himself a chocolate bar at the vending machine down the hall. “What‘re you in for?“ Keigo jumped at the unfamiliar voice, raspy and deep. He turned to the side, being forced to tilt his head up a bit to meet the bright blue eyes. He made an effort not to look at the scars directly. “Uh, this isn‘t jail. It‘s therapy.“ The boy flashed him a smile with nice pearly teeth. “Might as well be jail if you ask me. So?“ He leaned against the vending machine as Keigo fished his treat out. “Why are you here? Starved yourself? Got a screw lose in your head?“
Keigo looked at him wide eyed. It took him a while to find his words. “What the hell is wrong with you?“ The boy raised his hands in mock surrender. “Forget I asked. New here?“ Keigo just nodded. The guy seemed weird but he hasn’t had a proper conversation with anyone his age since he came here. “Figured. Touya, by the way.“ Keigo hummed. “Keigo.“
After a moment of silence, Touya pushed himself off the machine. “Pretty name. You don‘t look like you belong here, actually.“ Keigo stuffed the wrapped goods in his sweatpants, standing tall before Touya. He could defend himself. He knew that psych ward patients could act out and Touya looked like trouble. “What do you mean, Touya?“ The name tasted foreign on his tongue. He didn‘t have a last name to work with so he used what he could. “Woah, calm down. I‘m saying that you look too pretty to be locked up with a bunch of crazy people.“
And just like that, Keigo‘s tough guy act crumbled as he blinked at Touya. Pretty? Something vile twisted in his stomach and an old feeling reared its ugly head inside his chest. “What?“
“You‘re pretty.“ Touya‘s voice held a trace of annoyance. “Are you deaf? It’s a compliment.“ Keigo didn’t feel very complimented with ghost insects twisting and crawling underneath his skin. “Sit with me when you’re free, yeah?“
Despite his better judgement he did just that, five days after their little encounter at the vending machine.
Touya sat at a table, tapping his finger on the side of his cup while one of his legs bounced restlessly. Keigo approached, pulling out the chair beside the boy. “Ah, pretty boy. You actually came.“ Keigo felt something thick in his throat as he sat down. “Don’t call me that. It’s Keigo.“ Touya just hummed, sipping his drink and leaning back. “You look awfully out of place.“ Touya smiled his wide smile at him but it never seemed genuine. Keigo scoffed. “You look right at home here.“
Touya just shrugged. “I‘ve been here a while.“ Keigo regarded his company for a moment. “How long?“ Touya exhaled through his nose, glancing at the clock at the wall as if he could determine by checking the time. “About three months.“ He met Keigos eyes again until the icey blue was too much and he had to look away. “Why?“
“You first.“ Keigo chewed his cheek softly. There was no harm in saying it, really. Everyone in here had a reason to be locked up. There was no shame in getting better. “I’m doing rehab. And all the stuff accosiated I guess.“ He didn’t feel like giving the boy a rundown on his mental health short comings too. Touya whistled and Keigo glared at him. “Stop. It’s your turn.“
Again, the boy shrugged. “A little bit of everything.“ Keigo figured that the guy enjoyed being annoying so he accepted the half assed answer. “If you‘re here for months, how come I haven‘t seen you when I arrived?“ Touya downed the contents of his cup, setting it on the table top. “I was in the secure unit until they decided I could be in the open one again.“ Touya didn‘t miss Keigo‘s suspicious look. It was hard to miss. Touya seemed to have a real staring problem, if you asked Keigo. “They do that?“ Touya just shrugged again. Keigo didn‘t push further. Touya didn‘t look like a guy with nice stories to tell anyway.
Still, Keigo stuck with him since. They would spend a good chunk of their downtime together. They talked about everything and nothing. The conversations were personal but never personal. They were basically fated strangers who shared what they felt like sharing - never family business or feelings. Neither of them knew much of anything about each other - just that Touya had some crazy stories about running from cops and Keigo never kissed a girl before. Touya, as mean as he could be, didn’t tease Keigo much. He called him a virgin and moved on from the topic as if Keigo never told him about it.
Turns out, they made a good team.
The adults would warn Keigo about Touya‘s influence but Keigo dismissed it. His treatment went ok, that was all he was there for. So what if he made a friend along the way?
Touya seemed to agree. Weeks turned to a month and Keigo sat in Touya’s bed while the older boy joined him with a bag of soft candy. “Here.“ He tossed the bag towards the blond. “Replacing your drugs with sugar or what?“
Keigo snorted, tearing into the bag. “Shut up. You only ever drink caffeine.“ Touya gave a shrug. It was true. Touya only really drank water when he was reminded of taking his medication by staff. He could dry swallow but the staff often didn’t accept that and urged him to wash it down with a small cup of water. Suspicious little bastards.
“Keigo.“ The younger boy grunted around a mouthful. “You really have no game with girls? You look like you could get pussy.“ Keigo sputtered, almost choking on the piece of watermelon candy. “What question is that? I just don’t really want to.“ Touya leaned into his personal space, scanning his face. “Do you not want to?“ Keigo’s heart hammered in his chest and he mentally begged Touya to not continue that line of thought. “Or do you just not like girls?“
Keigo shoved at Touya’s chest and the taller one went easily. “Damn. It’s not a big deal to be a little gay.“ Keigo scrambled off the bed. “I‘m not gay!“ He left the bag half spilled on the low thread sheets and slammed the door on the way out.
The wooden crosses above all the rooms seemed to grow eyes as he rushed down the hall. “I‘m not gay.“ Keigo whispered more to himself than anyone else since nobody really was around right now. Maybe he whispered to his mother who didn’t visit him.
He fled to his room, crawling under the thin covers. He pulled his knees to his chest and pulled the fabric over his head. Suddenly he was very aware of his treatment and why he was there. He felt the urge to go home and raid the medicine cabinet. His skin itched and his mother’s voice echoed off the thin walls.
“You don’t like boys, Keigo. Do you understand? Do you understand what your father is going to do when he hears you?“
Keigo never explicitly said he liked boys but he admitted to his mother that he wasn’t interested in women. It was a childish little confession. Girls made him nervous in a way that wasn’t enticing. Their high pitched giggled grated on his ears and looking at their chest didn’t make him feel good. When he started watching porn, he went soft as the sight of drooling vaginas and swaying breast.
My boy isn’t dirty. How do you expect me to raise a faggot in the eyes of the Lord?“
His mother would cry and beg with Keigo to stop being wrong. She would take the thickly beaded rosary from her mothers heirloom box and swing the metal cross against her sons back.
Keigo proceeded to be in a gloomy mood for the next week, pointedly avoiding his psych ward buddy. It worked out. Until Touya himself shadowed him in the hall after therapy sessions. “How long are you gonna be mad at me, huh?“
“I‘m not mad.“ Touya burned holes in the back of his head but Keigo wouldn’t budge. “I don’t care about what gets you going, yknow? I was fucking with you.“
Keigo huffed. “I kinda miss benzo right now…“ Touya laughed, walking with Keigo to their usual vending machine. “Don’t get mad again. I got a question.“ Keigo looked at him with suspicion in his features as he slipped a few coins into the money slot. “Go on. You got one free question.“
“Have you kissed a guy before since you haven’t kissed a girl?“
Keigo refused to look at Touya as he pressed the number for the chocolate covered nuts. “No.“ Touya stepped to the neighboring vending machine, picking a milk coffee that tasted like bean soup anyway. “Would you?“
“We said one free question.“ Touya laughed low and carefree.
Their friendship moved on like nothing happened. They holed up in each other’s rooms and Touya showed him how to get free vending machine snacks. It was alright and Keigo fell into the habit to take his medication together with Touya when they were together.
It was an hour before scheduled bed time and Keigo lounged on Touya‘s bed while the room inhabitant sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his nightly pills. Keigo never asked what medication he needed or why. They were a lot of pills from what he saw.
“Keigo.“ The boy grunted, pulling at a runaway thread in the blanket. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.“ Touya put the pill filled palm to his mouth, tilting his head back to let them fall on his tongue. “What? We don’t have day leaves, idiot.“
Touya chuckled, washing the pills down with the last sip of coffee. “Nah. Like wait till after dark to run for the hills. Night shift forgets to lock the staff doors sometimes.“
Keigo sat up and looked at Touya wide eyed. “You want to break out? Who are you? Jack Sheppard?“ Touya sat on the bed with him, facing Keigo. “Think about it. They treat us like crazy people for the shitty things adults did to us.“ Keigo glanced to the side. He wanted to refuse, deny Touya‘s words but he wasn’t wrong. He didn’t take the pills by himself until it was too late. “But I want to get clean. I want to get better.“
“You are better. I bet the people that sent you here were the ones who gave you these issues. Or am I wrong? Is it not them you talk about in therapy?“ Keigo didn’t answer but Touya knew the answer by the way their eyes wouldn’t meet. “Come on. Did you really live if you didn’t break out a fucking mental institution once before you got clean?“ Touya grinned and Keigo cracked a smile and laid back down. “How’d you guess who got me here?“ Touya shrugged. “Always the same bullshit in juvie. Bad kids with worse parents.“ Keigo’s eyes flickered towards Touya’s mouth for a second. “So your parents…“ Keigo’s voice trailed off into silence as Touya lifted a hand to trace the fading scar on his right cheek. “I had the blade but I thought about them when I did it, I think.“ Keigo just nodded with a bad feeling in his guts. Touya never shared something so personal before and Keigo had the suspicion that he couldn’t handle half the stories his skin told.
“I’ll think about it, Touya.“
Keigo couldn’t sleep that night. Touya‘s little plan didn’t cross his mind like he promised earlier. Instead, Keigo thought about the skin damaged beyond repair. What Touya said about parents. What Touya’s parents might be like if they triggered him to mutilate his own face and possibly his arms and chest.
Keigo couldn’t let the guy run away alone. He didn’t know him beyond the oppressing hospital walls. What if he got himself killed when he went off his meds?
So he waited for the night shift to run the Q15 check and bolted towards Touya‘s door. None of them were lockable so he slipped right in before any staff could round a corner.
“Touya?“ his voice was barely a whisper. He didn’t turn the lights on in case someone saw it from under the door while passing by. Touya’s hair was illuminated by moon light as he shouldered a bag “Yeah.“ His voice was so close and a rough hand brushed against Keigo’s fingers, making his breath hitch. Touya eased the door open, encircling Keigo’s wrist in a firm grip.
Touya pulled him along, sticking close to the wall all the way to the door that said STAFF in bold letters. “They usually sit in the common area now, stupid bitches…“ Touya tried the door and it gave under his hand. He flashed Keigo a smirk, pulling him through the door into the stairwell.
Touya finally let his wrist go, walking down the stairs victorious steps. Keigo followed him to the metal door that separated them from the sweet cold freedom.
“Ready?“ Touya turned towards Keigo, hand already on the handle.
“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.“
Touya turned back around, pushing the door open and stepping outside. “Fuck. I missed this.“ Touya began to walk, gravel crunching under his sneakers. “Touya.“
“Yeah?“
“If we‘re doing this together, we gotta swear off drugs.“
Touya looked back. “I thought we wanted to be free. What’s with the rules?“ Keigo pursed his lips. “No drugs, Touya. Seriously.“ Touya snorted, closing the distance between them. ”Alright. Let’s go. I can’t wait to drink something better than piss warm coffee.“