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"Get up."
Karl was very safely huddled under his fluffy blanket on the couch before it was very violently ripped off of his body. Suddenly it was very cold, for obvious reasons, and all he could do was frown at the perpetrator.
"Get up," George repeated.
"George-" Karl sighed, sliding further down on the couch, moving a pillow to cover his body. "Leave me alone."
"No," George said adamantly, moving forward to pull the pillow from Karl's arms. "You've been on the couch for like a week, you need to get up. You have a life."
"It's been four days," Karl pouted, pulling another throw pillow onto his arms.
"And you've gone through half a dozen cartons of ice cream," George said pointedly.
"They were only the small Ben and Jerry's ones!" Karl exclaimed defensively.
"That's what you wanna fight about?" George rolled his eyes, yet again, moving forward to rip the pillow off of Karl's arms, exposing him to the cold outside world.
"George, let me be," Karl whined.
"No, I will not let you be," George threw the blankets and pillow to the side and bent down to force Karl to look him in the face. "You got cheated on-"
"Keep reminding me, why don't you?" Karl spat bitterly.
Karl looking a bit rough was an understatement. Yeah, that was kind of mean, but the man had eyes that were puffy like he'd been crying for the past four days (which he had been), his nose was red, his hair was a lot messier than the usual intentional ruffled up look, the perpetual frown on his face wasn't exactly helping either. He was wearing a hoodie, his hoodie, to be exact, though stained with cookie dough, ice cream, and some ranch dipping sauce seeing as how the only thing Karl ate for the past four days was one large pepperoni cheese pizza, microwaved.
"Look, you got cheated on. It sucks," George said curtly. "But Adrian was an asshole to begin with. He cheated on you," Karl scoffed and rolled his eyes. "He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve your mourning and being sad over him. He's probably out sleeping with that tramp Jerome-"
"Jeremiah," Karl mumbled sadly.
"Even worse!" George yelled.
"It was six years," Karl muttered. "I was dating him since like, sophomore year high school-"
"Exactly," George said angrily. "You have stood by his side for six years. Six whole years, Karl, and he's willing to throw all that out for a guy he met at a Subway. Like what, did Jerome give him extra olives on his sandwich or something?" He scoffed incredulously.
"Jeremiah," Karl repeated. "And Adrian doesn't like olives."
"Oh my god, who cares?" George exclaimed. "You've spent most of your college years cuffed to someone who doesn't appreciate you. Someone who does shitty slam poetry but also still uses Axe body spray," George scrunched up his nose with the most disgusted look on his face. "He asks for a spoon every time you guys go to a Japanese restaurant. I'm willing to bet you he claps when the plane lands."
"He doesn't-" Karl defended though a little smirk was forming at the corner of his lips.
"He's embarrassing," George said. "He buys condoms a size too big and you know that."
"Oh god," Karl cringed back, hiding his face in his hands. "How do you know that?"
"I'm your best friend," George stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. "I know a lot of things."
"I'm just-" Karl shook his arms like he was trying to expel all the excess anger and rage from his body. "I loved him."
"He loved the extra turkey ham from Subway," George hissed. "He loved that life-sized David Tennant Doctor Who cardboard cut out that he kept in his room and you made eye contact with when you were having se-"
"Oh my god, George!" Karl screamed though he was snorting a bit of a laugh back.
Karl was starting to regret telling George all the things that he did as one would to their best friend. Though, looking up at George right now and listening to his words and arguments, Karl was starting to regret it a bit less. George was making more than a few valid points.
"Karl," George said pitifully. "Don't be that guy who really stayed on his couch crying over his ex-boyfriend who until 16 years old thought the North Pole was real and that the pyramids were made by aliens."
"He doesn't still think that," Karl mumbled in his ex-boyfriend's defense.
"Stop defending him," George said, taking the throw pillow in his hand and whacking Karl lightly on top of his head. "Stop it."
"I can't help it, okay? I love-" Karl began again before he was quickly cut off by George.
"Well then stop loving him," George interrupted. "You deserve better."
George was nodding while making full eye contact with Karl, a little trick he learned in a mandatory psych class he had to take his freshman year, continuing to do it until Karl started to nod along.
"Yeah, you're right," Karl said carefully, beginning to nod with George. "Yeah. He- I used to laugh at his failed stand-up comedy sets to make him feel better! And- and- I learned how to make mac and cheese like his mom does, and he never eats them because it's not the same- it's Annie's boxed mac and cheese, how different could it be?" He yelled out.
"He tried to microwave Walmart sushi," George whispered softly, a little gleaming smirk as he watched Karl go from sadness to enraged in a matter of seconds.
"He tried to microwave Walmart sushi!" Karl gasped even louder. "He tried to write a song and he bought a guitar, and he never used it. He always changes the music when I have the AUX, and he's the most basic-"
George had to back away to make space for Karl to finally stand up from the couch to pace around.
"You know, before I bought him proper hair care, he used 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash," Karl said. "And he still has that and tried to use that on me when we were in the shower together and he wanted to-"
"Oh ew," George winced, though looking at Karl finally being alive for the first time in days was a sight to see.
"Conditioner is slippery, it'll work as-"
"Oh my god, how did you even stay with him that long?" George gagged.
"One time we were at a Wendy's parking lot, and we got a Frosty, and he tried to-" Karl was on fire, in both the good and bad way that George was somewhat questioning his decision to unhinge this.
"Hey," Sapnap called the second he threw the front door open. "Okay so the store didn't have the Half Baked Ben and Jerry's, you know, because we bought like 3 of them two days ago, but I got you Cherry Garcia, I hope that's-"
Karl stopped in his tracks, his arms raised in the air in the middle of his very expressive story, his head turned to look at Sapnap. George was standing back against the wall, an amused half-smirk on his face as he too looked at Sapnap. Sapnap looked between the two of them, confused ever so slightly before shutting the door behind him.
"Karl's finally alive," Sapnap muttered. "What did I miss?"
"Karl's realizing that Adrian is an asshole that does not deserve his tears or his time or another second thought," George said.
"So-" Sapnap shook the tote bag in his hand lightly. "No ice cream then?"
"Actu-" Karl started.
"Absolutely not," George said. "Put it in the freezer. Karl has to get ready."
"Ready?" Karl questioned. "Ready for what?"
"Why do you think I was getting you out of your couch post-breakup coma?" George stated. "There's a party tonight at Beta Theta Pi, you know, Sapnap's frat-"
"Oh, we're bringing Karl with us?" Sapnap asked.
"No," Karl replied.
"Yes!" George said. "And we're gonna get him laid."
"I didn't agree to that," Karl said sternly. "I was just gonna- like, move from the couch and watch Netflix in bed."
"No, come on," George coaxed. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."
"George!" Karl gasped incredulously.
"That sounds stupid," Sapnap mumbled, but when George turned to glare at Sapnap, he caught a little smile at the end of his lips. "Count me in."
"No, no, absolutely not," Karl shook his head adamantly.
"I got a couple of guys that would do the job very well," Sapnap winked. "You can have your pick of the litter."
"Sapnap, that sounds dirty. That sounds disgusting," Karl said.
"Look, George is right. You're a handsome man, you're a very very pretty boy-" Sapnap began.
"I didn't exactly say that," George said lightly.
"You can get any man you want," Sapnap declared. "With your pretty eyes, and your cute sweaters-"
"Watch it," George barked.
It wasn't often that George shows the little green monster named jealousy that he hides behind his pretty face and fun accent, but every once in a while, it does come up when Sapnap is acting up. Even if it was only playful.
Both Karl and George turned to a very cheeky-looking Sapnap, just grinning as he finished putting away the groceries he'd just bought.
"Come with. It'll be very fun," Sapnap said. "George will help you dress hot and I'll introduce you to some guys."
"I don't know-" Karl said.
"Sapnap was asking, but I'm not," George said sternly. "I'm telling you, you're taking a shower right now or I'm dragging you in myself."
"You're mean," Karl mumbled.
"You're smelly," George told him.
George continued to shoo Karl away until he started to drag his feet and shuffled himself into his bedroom. George waited for a bit and only exhaled a deep breath when he finally heard the showers turned on.
He then turned to Sapnap with furrowed brows and a piercing gaze.
"What?" Sapnap asked innocently.
"Handsome boy? Pretty man?" George asked incredulously.
"Well it's actually the other way around," Sapnap mumbled.
"Seriously?" George said.
"What?" Sapnap grinned. "Is Gogy jealous?"
"No," George answered a little too fast. "Karl's just- Karl's our friend, I don't need you trying to take advantage of him when he's fragile. Things get complicated when friends get involved with each other."
"Hmm," Sapnap hummed softly. "Okay."
"I'm serious," George insisted. "Karl needs a good and quick fuck so he can move on. He doesn't need someone who's always around, and you are around a lot so- not you."
"Love you too, George," Sapnap smiled.
"Shut up, you dumbass," George spat before walking away. "Call me when Karl's finished in the shower."
You would be blind if you couldn't see George's bright red cheeks as he disappeared into his own bedroom. And Sapnap, most certainly, was not blind.
"There are too many people here," Karl complained.
"It's a party in just about the biggest fraternity on campus, Karl, of course, there's a lot of people," George huffed impatiently as he tugged on Karl's wrist and dragged him towards the front of the house.
The Beta Theta Pi house was, very obviously, at a state where people were pouring out of the front door and into the yard. It honestly looked like they were at maximum capacity yet, on top of George and Karl, there were more and more people filing to get into the party. It wasn't so bad though. Beta Theta Pi and their guests weren't too out of control other than the few kegs in the front yard and a guy passed out next to the coat rack.
"You're late," Sapnap yelled as he ducked his head close to George and Karl's ears to make sure his voice doesn't get drowned out by the loud blaring music.
"I had to fight Karl into an outfit that's party-appropriate," George told Sapnap.
"What outfit? He's wearing a button-up and a sweater," Sapnap said flatly.
"I lost the fight," George replied. "Why do you think it took so long?"
"You look good," Sapnap turned and grinned at Karl, though George was quick to elbow his ribs and Sapnap yelped.
"Thanks," Karl said sheepishly.
"Alright, so I don't know what your type is exactly," Sapnap began, taking Karl's hand in his arm and pulling him deeper into the house, George following closely behind. "I mean, I've met your ex- not much of a looker, but to each their own."
"Hey!" Karl gasped offendedly.
"Stop defending him," George pinched Karl lightly on his arm.
"I mean, I've primed you like six guys who would love to take you home," Sapnap told him.
"Primed? Sapnap I feel-" Karl shuddered. "I feel icky."
"It's a mutually beneficial agreement, no need to be icky about it," Sapnap assured him. "You can pick whichever one you like," Sapnap smirked. "Or two, or three, separately or at the same time, if you wanna double or triple get over someone-"
This time it was Karl that elbowed Sapnap hard on his stomach.
"Stop it," Karl hissed, though Sapnap only laughed.
"Alright, alright, here are your choices," Sapnap said. "First we have Punz-"
"Punz?" Both Karl and George exclaimed.
"Your ex was blonde, Punz is blonde-" Sapnap reasoned.
"He's Punz!" George exclaimed.
"He's our friend, he plays games with us, and comes to movie nights," Karl sputtered.
"He's going to be around a lot," George said through gritted teeth, his eyes burning into Sapnap in a deathly glare.
"Okay, okay," Sapnap raised both his hands. "Not Punz," Karl and George both shook their heads. "We've got Danny, the ginger by the fireplace. Are you into gingers Karl?"
"I could be," Karl mumbled, his eyes following Sapnap's finger to look over at the man that was pointed out. "Sometimes."
"We have Benji," Sapnap said. "The one in the blue shirt just in the kitchen."
"I- I don't know," Karl sighed.
"There's Collin. He's outside doing a kegstand," Sapnap explained to which Karl only made a face. "There's also Peter, I think he's outside by the pool-"
"Stop, stop," Karl said, shaking his head. "I can't go man-shopping like this, I'm not gonna be able to- be okay with myself."
"We wouldn't have to make you go man-shopping if you are willing to go out there and flirt on your own," George said, and that's when both he and Karl glared into each other's eyes. "Are you gonna flirt and try to get yourself laid?"
"I- Yes. No? Maybe," Karl sighed. "Can we just- We're here, we're at the party. I left the house, I took a shower. Baby steps. Tiny victories. Can we just hang back and have fun?"
Sapnap and George both looked at each other and sighed in defeat.
"Alright," George resigned. "But at the very least, you're drinking."
So that was the story of how Karl Jacobs ended up standing near the kitchen counter with the same cup of drink that he's been holding for the past two hours and has yet to take more than three sips of.
As most college parties go, the later it gets, now a little closer to 11:30 PM (on the weekends), the party was not stopping, oh no, it's only getting louder. More and more people were coming and going, leaving and entering the kitchen to get more alcohol than a prohibition-era bar could hide under the floorboards, and Karl stood there just watching.
Sure, it's a little pathetic. George and Sapnap had left him about 30 minutes into his sad only standoff next to the fridge to go dancing, or if Karl really knew them better than they did themselves, it means going upstairs to make out and conduct other unholy activities, only to deny it and pretend it didn't happen 20 minutes later.
But if Karl was being honest, he was quite happy in his little kitchen nook. There were cheese puff balls and peanuts, straight out of the bag so he knows they're not filthy and have no beer accidentally spilled on them. It was quiet and cozy, people rarely stayed longer than to get their drinks and walk away to a less claustrophobic place. He was safe and could pretend that he was having fun, even though all he wanted to do was go home.
"I like the purple."
Karl's head snapped away from his blank stare into the living room as his head turned to the tall blonde leaning against the doorway, looking at him with piercing green eyes.
"I-" Karl looked around, then at himself trying to figure out if the man was talking to him, and if so, what exactly he was complimenting. Guess Karl's confused and frazzled look wasn't as subtle as he thought it was when he heard the man chuckle.
"Your nails," The man smiled. "It's cute and looks real nice."
"Oh," Karl muttered. "Thank you," He said timidly.
"No problem," He replied. "Mind if I join you?"
Cute smile, handsome face, unbelievable figure, from what Karl can see underneath the button-up with the rolled-up sleeves that hugged his arms a little too snug. Karl's brain short-circuited.
"Yes," Karl blurted out after too long of a pause. The man smiled before walking closer, settling himself at the edge of the kitchen counter, standing far too close, his arms brushing over Karl's. "I'm Karl," He introduced himself while sticking his hand out.
"Call me Dream," The man took his arm and shook it gently.
"Dream?" Karl questioned.
"Yeah," Dream nodded. "Nickname."
"Ah," Karl accepted the explanation with a little smile.
"So what is a cute guy like you-" Dream started. "-doing all alone in the kitchen?"
"Oh. Uh-" Karl was not used to getting compliments from people who are not his friends trying to hype him up.
See, until exactly four days ago, Karl has been with one man for the entirety of his adult life. He's not a bad-looking guy, on the contrary, Karl gets compliments a lot. But his default has always been that he had a boyfriend, that he was taken. None of those compliments ever mattered to him, because he never accepted them.
Not until tonight.
"Surely someone has asked you to dance right?" Dream asked. "If not, that's an actual travesty."
"I'm not in the mood for dancing," Karl replied honestly.
"I know you're in the kitchen, but someone offered to get you a drink?" Dream continued.
"No, my friends got me this," Karl shook his cup gently.
"Oh well, I know for a fact that someone must have come and tried to talk to you, right? They must have," Dream said theatrically.
"No, not really," Karl said. "I'm just- enjoying a bit of peace and quiet."
"That's a crime," Dream said. "Come on, a good-looking guy like you? Cute brown hair, gorgeous grey eyes. Why it's absolutely ridiculous that they'd leave you here all alone," Dream told him as his green eyes gazed into Karl's.
Karl could feel his heart beating against his chest and rising even further to his throat. He was feeling hot, and not because he was wearing a sweater in a house that's filled to about 8 times its capacity. His throat was dry and his brain could not focus.
"Not into drinking?" Dream asked and Karl slowly shook his head. "Not really into the party either, are you?"
"No," Karl confessed.
"What are you into then?" Dream said. "Nightcap? Ice cream? Movies?"
"I like-" Karl exhaled a shaky breath. "I like ice cream."
"I have ice cream back in my place," Dream leaned closer and whispered into his ear, making his entire body shiver. "You wanna get out of here?"
Karl could say yes.
Karl should absolutely say yes.
Karl did not say yes.
He's stupid.
Okay, in Karl's defense, Dream said ice cream, though, by the tone of his voice, the glint in his beautiful green eyes, and the most dashing mischievous smile, it probably (most certainly, to be clearer) was not going to be ice cream. The insinuation was very much not ice cream.
"I uh-" Karl cleared his throat. "Maybe some other time?"
"Sorry," Dream apologized lightly. "Was I too strong?"
"No," Karl jumped quickly. "No, no it's not you. It- well. It's not you, it's me. I'm just-"
"You don't have to explain," Dream smiled. "Your reasons are yours, I'm not one to push."
"Right," Karl chuckled gratefully. "I better-" He gulped. "I better go find my friends."
"No please, I don't mean to steal your little comfort corner," Dream told him.
"No, no. I need to talk to them," Karl assured him as he walked backward out of the kitchen. "Bye."
"See you around Karl," Dream's voice rang through his ear as Karl started to navigate his way through the party.
Karl's heart was still racing. He knew that he'd been out of the game for a while now, but he didn't realize that he's been out far too long that a little interaction like that could make his entire skin burn. It was as if he wanted to crawl out of his skin, though in the best way possible. When thinking about it further, maybe he was never really been in the game. He doesn't know how to flirt or how to get a boyfriend. He doesn't know how to act, how to react, how to-
"Oh, my fuckin-" Sapnap exclaimed, though his voice was covered up by George yelling loudly as Karl threw the first-floor bathroom door open.
Karl was not going to explain to you the compromising situation he'd found them in. He's not going to tell you about the belts on the floor, the unbuttoned everything, the hands, the neck, the bruises, and the- There's a lot of things happening, okay? Use your imagination. Karl was in a crisis.
"Someone flirted with me," Karl desperately blurted out.
"Karl, you can't just-" Sapnap sputtered as he tried to pull his pants back on. "You can't do that!"
"You didn't lock the door?" George asked angrily as he smacked Sapnap on the shoulder harshly.
"Someone asked me if I wanted to go home with them," Karl continued talking as if nothing was happening.
"Wait, wait, who is it?" Sapnap said as he picked up his belt off the bathroom floor and walked out of the bathroom, George very closely behind him.
"This guy named Dream?" Karl said hesitantly.
"Dream?" Sapnap asked.
"He said I look like I'm not enjoying the party, and he has ice cream back in his place-" Karl didn't stop talking.
"Kinky," George muttered.
"And if I wanted to go back to his place," Karl concluded.
"I mean," Sapnap said. "Dream's a brother. He lives off-campus, he's a good guy."
"Well," George interjected. "Define good. He's got a reputation, good and bad depending on how you look at his list of conquests."
"Which makes him a perfect candidate for tonight," Sapnap clarified. "I'm just saying if you wanna go to his place, I have a key, so I can come to find you if he tries to murder you-" Karl gasped. "-which he won't," Sapnap exclaimed.
"I don't know," Karl said. "I just- I got freaked out. He was really cute but I-"
Karl fell silent.
"Karl?" George's eyebrows furrowed. "Karl, what's wrong?"
Sapnap turned to look around until his eyes fell on a certain blond head. And no it was neither Punz nor Dream. And to be more specific, his gaze fell to the brunette boy standing next to the blond, hand interlocked, fingers intertwined.
"What the fuck is Asshole Adrian and Subway Jerome doing here?" George asked violently.
"It's an open party, we can't exactly ban people from-" Sapnap sighed.
"Like hell we can't," George stormed forward though Sapnap was quick to wrap his arms around George's body and hold him back. "I'm gonna make him wish he never came."
"You can't just assault them," Sapnap said, turning around to place George back in front of Karl. "And it's Jeremiah."
"Whatever!" George yelled.
Yet still, Karl stood there stoic and frozen.
About 101 things were rushing through his brain at this current moment. All from the good things in his life, including one of the rings he was still wearing that Adrian gave him, all the bad things, specifically the day he found out his love of 6 years has been seeing somebody else, all the random things like his top 7 favorite Yu-Gi-Oh cards. But it was pure not-thinking that drove him to chug down his entire drink in one go.
"Woah, woah, calm down," Sapnap said, though Karl only replied to him by taking Sapnap's red solo cup out of his hands and downing it immediately after. "Karl, slow down."
"Yeah, Karl, this probably isn't- and there goes my drink," George's cup was plucked away from his hand and returned back after Karl emptied the content.
Karl wiped off his lips with the sleeves of his sweater before walking past both Sapnap and George who wanted to stop him but were curious about where this was going to lead. Karl continued walking, and by the looks of it, he was heading straight for Adrian and Jerome. Jeremiah. Shit.
Sapnap and George were rushing forward to maybe try and stop whatever fight Karl was going to start, if there was going to be any screaming, hitting, scratching, dramatic glass-breaking. But both of them stopped when they saw Karl walk right in front of the two people who'd been giving him so much grief in the last four days, and continued walking until he got to the pool table.
They weren't the only ones that were confused because both Adrian and Jeremiah's eyes also followed Karl's movements until he stopped walking in front of a very familiar tall blond, placed both his hands on Dream's face, and slammed their lips together.
Now, this was not what Dream was expecting when he saw the cute brunet with curly, floppy hair make his way towards him with the look of utmost determination, but he wasn't exactly complaining either.
The kiss was fiery. Karl was pulling him towards himself so hard that Dream peeled himself off from leaning against the wall to push deeper into the kiss. It took him a little bit to regain his composure and thank himself for not holding any drinks as he brought both his arms to wrap around Karl's back and pulled their bodies closer together. Slowly, Dream was pulling Karl towards himself, lifting the shorter man off from the ground while their lips were still moving in sync in a sweet and spicy kiss.
The kiss lasted for a good while before they finally pulled apart and Karl opened his eyes, staring deep into the green eyes in front of him. The smile that was plastered on Dream's face from the aftermath of the kiss made his heart do a little somersault.
"I hate this party," Karl said.
"You hate this party?" Dream repeated and Karl nodded.
"You still have ice cream in your freezer?" Karl questioned.
"Like three different flavors," Dream replied.
"Still want to take me home?" Karl offered.
"Absolutely," Dream smirked.
And that was when Dream finally dropped Karl back onto the ground. Karl landed swiftly on his feet, taking Dream's hand immediately tugging him away from his friends before he had a chance to say goodbye.
"You wanna say bye to your friends?" Dream asked.
"They know where to find me," Karl said confidently.
Sure enough, Sapnap and George stood back a little proud though also a little shocked, grinning at Karl as he pulled Dream out of the house. Karl also left with one last poisonous eye contact with his ex-boyfriend one last time before Dream's arms on his waist guided him towards his car.
Karl was standing at the window of a gorgeous penthouse apartment at the top of a building with a French name that he couldn't even pronounce, listening to music coming from an antique record player, about 20 minutes after the kiss. In those 20 minutes though, and the whole drive back to Dream's house, Karl could only think about everything that had gone wrong and could go wrong.
Had gone wrong being the 6 years that he wasted on Adrian. Could go wrong could really be anything.
"You have anything to drink?" Karl asked nervously.
"Water's in the kitchen, the drinks cart is next to the couch, help yourself," Dream's voice called out from down the hall.
Karl poured himself a drink, about half a glass of bourbon or whiskey, God knows if he could tell the difference, it was something brown colored, and Karl chugged it almost immediately. He was throwing back the glass when Dream walked back into the living room. The alcohol burned and Karl shook his head and stuck his tongue out, a little disgusted by the aftertaste. He met Dream's face, who just looked amusingly at him.
"That's disgusting," Karl told him.
"Yeah, I know," Dream chuckled softly. "I don't really drink, they're really there only for guests, friends, and family."
Karl placed the glass on the closest surface he could find before turning back to look at Dream.
"So what does- How does this work?" Karl began to ramble. "Because I know you said ice cream but we both know it's not really ice cream. So how- I mean, do we just-"
Dream leaned against the back of the couch, hands in his pockets, and simply smiled at him.
"We can do whatever you want," Dream offered.
"Okay, but what usually happens?" Karl asked. "You give them a drink, you play some music, you impress them with the gorgeous penthouse, and then what? You just-" Karl made some weird hand gestures. "You have sex with each other."
"Um-" Dream simply shrugged at him. "Yeah."
Karl nodded, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater, rubbing his hands together as he bounced on his feet.
"I'm very nervous," Karl said.
"I've noticed," Dream told him.
"Okay," Karl mumbled. "Because I know that I was the one who like ran up to you and tried to eat your face in front of your friends, and I practically asked you to take me home but that was really just because I chugged like three drinks before I came up to you and also my ex was there and it was like, you know, anger and alcohol and just-"
"You're adorable," Dream grinned.
Karl stopped and gulped before shaking his head.
"No," Karl said. "I'm not adorable. I'm- I'm hot. I'm sexy. Alright? I know what's gonna happen in the PG-13 version of tonight, okay? I get too drunk, and you're going to be a gentleman and you're gonna order me some Chick-Fil-A, and we're gonna eat some ice cream, and you're gonna let me sleep in your bed and I pass out."
Dream could barely contain his little smile, watching Karl ramble off in front of him.
"No, I'm here-" Karl said adamantly. "I'm here to sleep with the hot guy from Beta Theta Pi."
"Dream," Dream said, pointing at himself.
"Dream," Karl repeated. "Right. Take off your shirt."
"What?" Dream laughed.
"Take off your shirt," Karl demanded.
"Why?" Dream mumbled.
"Will you please just take off your shirt, because I can't stop thinking about it, and-" Karl moaned.
"Alright," Dream conceded, standing up straight before slowly unbuttoning his shirt, all the while still keeping eye contact with Karl.
The way Dream pulled his arms back to pull off the sleeves of his shirt, causing his shoulders to move and flex made Karl's throat even dryer. The surprise of very nicely sculpted abs underneath all of that wasn't that much of a help either. Dream gently tossed his shirt onto the empty couch.
"Fuck," Karl cursed loudly. "Seriously?"
"What?" Dream muttered.
"You're like-" Karl said walking forward, hands stretched out to poke Dream's abs. "You're like a Greek statue. You're sculpted."
"Now it's your turn," Dream gently tapped Karl's wrist on his body. "You take off your shirt."
"No," Karl backed away immediately.
"Yes," Dream teased.
"No, not with perfect abs staring at me," Karl took a few more steps back though his eyes are still fixated on Dream's body. "I ate like 6 cartons of ice cream in the last four days, no thank you. Is there somewhere that's dark? Oh god-"
Dream could only chuckle at the flustered and nervous mess pacing in front of him.
"Okay, so now what do we do? Like logistically, what happens?" Karl said. "What's your move?"
"What do you mean, what's my move?" Dream replied.
"What's your move? What's your big move?" Karl said. "The one you do to get people into bed with you."
"I have a lot of moves, but most of the time people just wanna go into bed with me," Dream shrugged.
"But what's your big move?" Karl asked again.
"I don't have a big move," Dream said defensively.
"Tell me your big move," Karl insisted.
"I have a cat," Dream blurted out.
The place fell silent.
"You- you what?" Karl asked hesitantly.
"That's what I was doing. I was getting my cat out of my room and into the guest room," Dream confessed.
"So, what's the move? Do we just- Okay, you have a cat?" Karl questioned confusingly. "What do we do with the cat?"
"Well if they're cat-people, they usually want to see me with the cat," Dream explained. "Rich guy," He gestured to himself. "Some baby-talk with my cat- she's a very cute cat. They always get soft and they wanna get in bed with me."
"What happens if they're not cat-people?" Karl asked.
"Never really ran into that problem," Dream shrugged. "Usually the expensive penthouse and perfect abs overpower that and I don't even need to show them my cat."
"And that works?" Karl said and Dream simply nodded.
Karl fell silent and fiddled with his hand, while Dream hung back, looking back at Karl with a soft and sweet smile on his face.
"Okay, show me your cat," Karl gave in to his curiosity and Dream gleamed.
Five minutes later Karl was sitting on the floor of the guest room, still cradling Dream's cat, gorgeous girl named Patches, and somehow he was starting to see why this would work.
"She likes you," Dream told him, his fingers gently caressing the top of Patches' head as she purred and snuggled closer to Karl's sweater.
"Are you telling the truth or is that something you tell everyone as part of the move?" Karl interrogated.
"I guess you'll never know," Dream smirked at him.
"She's so gentle," Karl gushed. "She's adorable."
"Yeah, she's a rescue," Dream said. "She was so quiet the first day I brought her home. Isn't that right, Patchy?"
Dream was leaning forward and dipped his head until he was really close to Patches before looking up and smiling at Karl.
About 10 minutes later and Karl was lying on Dream's bed, the taller man right on top of him, trailing kisses down his neck. Dream's knees were between Karl's thighs, and Karl's hands were holding onto Dream's head as they went back to kissing. Each peck on the lips was sweet and Karl's stomach turned in excitement.
"Your bed-" Karl managed to say in between kisses. "It moves weirdly."
"It's a waterbed," Dream replied, before going back to kissing him.
"I always wondered who actually buys waterbeds," Karl muttered through their entangled lips. "The hot rich guy from Beta Theta Pi buys a waterbed for his penthouse apartment."
"It makes the sex better," Dream told him simply.
"Does it?" Karl exclaimed.
"I don't know, that's just what I tell people when they ask," Dream answered honestly and Karl started laughing.
"I'm sorry," Karl brought down one of his hands to stifle his laugh, though Dream only looked mildly amused. "Continue."
Dream leaned back down and pulled Karl into a sweet and tender kiss. It went on for a good few seconds before Karl started speaking again.
"What other ridiculously expensive things have you bought?" Karl asked.
"Uhm-" Dream hummed as he lifted his head from the little crook of Karl's neck. "I bought Patches a cat water fountain."
"Shut up," Karl muttered gleefully. "No, you didn't."
"No, I didn't," Dream lied before completely retconning his words. "I did. I did. Who would buy a cat water fountain? I would."
"How much was it?" Karl asked.
"Way too much," Dream admitted. "Ask me what I fill it with?"
"What do you fill it with?" Karl obliged.
"Filtered water," Dream told him, and Karl bursts out laughing. "She doesn't drink tap. I'm lucky she can't tell the difference between filtered and bottled, I would've gone broke."
"She doesn't drink tap?" Karl gasped.
"She would drink a lot less the first time I got it and filled it out with tap water," Dream said, flipping over and lying on the bed next to Karl. "I switched and suddenly it's like she's a person stuck in a desert."
"Oh my god," Karl laughed. "Where is it?"
"It's in the kitchen," Dream told him. "I buy the most ridiculous things for her, I swear."
"Do you buy her little clothes?" Karl questioned.
"Yes," Dream admitted.
"Do you dress her up for Halloween?" Karl continued.
"Yes," Dream nodded shamelessly.
"What else do you buy her?" Karl asked.
"I bought her an iPad with the fishes that cats can tap," Dream confessed.
"An iPad? You didn't buy your cat an iPad," Karl giggled through his words.
"And it wasn't even an off-brand tablet," Dream told him. "Like an actual Apple product iPad!"
"Oh my god, you are spoiling this cat," Karl shook his head.
"I am very alone," Dream confessed. "So that cat gets all my money and all my love."
The two men laid in bed in a mess of giggles and laughter that echoed throughout the large, though very empty penthouse.
Somehow the conversation didn't stop, and so Karl was sitting on the floor, his arm resting on the bed on which Dream was lying on his stomach, both of them holding a tub of ice cream about half an hour later.
"So he gets onto the stage right, this-" Karl waved his spoon furiously. "-mind you, he's been working on his slam poetry for like three weeks-"
"Switch," Dream mumbled softly as to not interrupt Karl's furious rambling, though informed him well enough that they were exchanging ice cream cartons so they can get both flavors.
"And it ends up being the stupidest poem I've ever listened to-" Karl yelled, as Dream's carton of ice cream was placed into his hand. "And it's about a fish he caught during his boy's fishing trip."
"Oh, no way," Dream mumbled, his mouth half-full with his spoonful of ice cream.
"Which he didn't invite me to, by the way, regardless that I'm a boy, but no, no girlfriends or partners, as if his friends weren't my friends too," Karl continued to ramble. "And he's been hiding his poem and I thought it was gonna be for me-"
"And you were with this guy for 6 years?" Dream exclaimed.
"Hey," Karl said warningly. "You spent all your money on your cat, we both have questionable decisions."
And now, about two hours later Karl found himself with a half-naked, gorgeous man with the prettiest head, lying on his lap.
"And so she's yelling at me right?" Dream continued with his story. "She's screaming her head off and I didn't even know what it was about. She was calling me just about the worst slurs you can think of."
"Ouch," Karl said pitifully.
"But she was asking if I'm cheating on her, and if I'm gay because she found all my dildos," Dream said wildly, mimicking his ex's frantic expressions. "Which, bi isn't gay, but that wasn't even the problem. I didn't have any dildos, at the time, anyways, and she was waving around this colorful little thing-"
"Oh, no," Karl said.
"It was Patches' cat toy," Dream concluded but Karl was already in the midst of uncontrollable laughter. "It was a cat toy. She thought something fuzzy made of cloth was actually-"
"Did you tell her?" Karl managed to word out a question through the snorts.
"No!" Dream exclaimed. "After everything she said, I let her walk out of here."
"Jesus," Karl shook his head.
"It's not six years, but two years destroyed by homophobia and a cat toy," Dream chuckled to himself. "Good riddance."
"So is that why you don't date anymore?" Karl asked timidly.
"Maybe," Dream answered honestly. "Partly. You know sometimes it's hard. You have this money and you can't tell if they want you for the money or for yourself."
"You-" Karl mumbled. "You're good with yourself though, right? You didn't let her break you."
"Acceptance is a journey," Dream nodded. "It was a shock for sure, but somehow it was easier than telling people I play Minecraft competitively."
"You what?" Karl cackled.
Karl wasn't sure who fell asleep first.
What he did know was that he woke up with a pretty bad hangover and an empty bed, however, still fully clothed. Karl tried to sit up in bed but immediately laid back down when the headache got too much. He turned to his side and found a glass of water with some Advil prepared for him.
After a few more minutes, he started smelling something cooking. And though it felt a little awkward, walking through a stranger's house all by himself, staying still in Dream's bedroom felt weirder.
"Morning handsome," Dream's voice called out as Karl stumbled into the kitchen. "Bad headache?"
"A little," Karl groaned.
"I cooked breakfast, something greasy to get you over that hangover," Dream said, nudging his head towards a seat on the counter that already had a glass of orange juice prepared for him.
Karl sat down quietly at the chair, though his eyes fell on a very familiar feline friend currently drinking out of a mini little water fountain. He was a little out of it, his focus only on Patches that he completely missed Dream putting a plate of eggs, bacon, and pancake in front of him.
"Do you use your cat to get people into bed?" Karl said teasingly. "That's kinda-"
"No," Dream chuckled. "Sapnap just told me you like cats."
"Sapnap?" Karl mumbled. "Sapnap told you-"
The little cheeky grin on Dream's face told him everything he needed to know.
"You're number six," Karl concluded.
"Guilty," Dream said as he turned his back to finish cooking his own plate of breakfast. "Though I hope you're not too mad though, seeing as how nothing happened last night."
"Right," Karl said, a sheepish smile on his face.
"Although-" Dream continued.
"Although?" Karl repeated.
"I'm not opposed to anything else happening going forward," Dream told him.
"Really?" Karl said. "I thought you said you don't date."
"I think I better start before I buy Patches her very own waterbed and mini-fridge," Dream joked and Karl tried his hardest to hide his smile.
"Maybe a little car?" Karl offered.
"I'm not gonna rush you, so," Dream began. "When you're finally ready to fully move on from fish-poem guy-" He kept his gaze on Karl who felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach, that he was 95% sure wasn't from last night's alcohol. "I'd like to take you out on a date."
"You would?" Karl voiced.
"I would." Dream answered. "How does that sound?"