Chapter Text
Lee
The idea forms in Lee’s head gradually – the way most of his best ideas usually do.
In the calm weeks following the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, Lee takes his time to mourn his losses.
He grieves for the death of his Rival and cherished teammate – Neji.
And he grieves for Guy sensei, whose injuries (suffered as a consequence of opening all Eight Gates) prove permanent.
He is there for Guy sensei when he receives the diagnosis, confirming that he will never regain use of his left leg and that it is not possible to restore optimal chakra circulation in his body; which effectively means that he will need to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
Lee is – yet again – impressed by his Sensei’s boundless optimism. Guy sensei takes the news in stride in a way Lee knows he, himself wouldn’t – but then again, Guy sensei has never been anything but hard-working and Youthful in Spirit! Where another ninja may perceive news like Guy sensei’s diagnosis as a death sentence, to Lee’s beloved Sensei the news of his own physical disability (as he loudly proclaims) is just “another challenge to conquer!”.
Nonetheless, Lee takes it upon himself to be a constant source of encouragement for his Sensei during the first few months of his recovery at least. That is the least he can do – after all, Guy sensei had done the same for him when he was recovering from his injuries after his own disastrous fight with Gaara during the Chūnin Exams and then again a short time later after Lee had decided to go through with the operation to restore his damaged chakra system.
Throughout it all, Guy sensei was there with him and he had cheered him on; encouraging Lee to look on the bright side and to have faith in his own body’s capability to heal.
What surprises Lee is that – contrary to what he had expected, - he is not the only one who spends significant amounts of time at his beloved Sensei’s bedside.
Kakashi sensei barely leaves the room in the first few weeks after Guy sensei is admitted to hospital. Lee is pretty sure that he doesn’t even sleep for the first three days or so, until Guy sensei wakes up from his coma.
(Although it was hard to tell whether Kakashi sensei was awake or not – he was always sprawled across an armchair which he seemed to have stolen from the communal waiting area and he constantly appeared to be engrossed in one of his usual books – Icha Icha Paradise or Icha Icha Tactics – but occasionally, his eyes would drift semi-closed and Lee could have sworn that the great Copy Ninja was asleep – but then, at the slightest twitch of Guy sensei’s fingers on the covers, Kakashi’s eyes would dart over at him and he would appear fully awake! –
How the hell does he do that?? – Lee wasn’t sure to this day.)
So perhaps that’s when Lee first notices that the Great Copy Ninja seems to care about his Sensei - quite a lot.
In the past (Lee is slightly ashamed to admit) he had thought that in most cases, Kakashi sensei was merely tolerating Guy sensei’s constant stream of various challenges (and to be fair, at some points, Lee thinks, the Copy Nin probably was) but looking back on the past now in light of Kakashi's recent behaviour – Lee wonders if Kakashi’s smiles were more genuine then he had ever given them credit for.
Perhaps the man just happened to have a naturally sardonic-looking smile?!
(Sort of how Gaara’s smiles still scared the crap out of Lee most days, even though he knew that they were intended to signal gratitude or appreciation.
However, Lee's hind-brain didn’t agree with that...)
To Lee’s surprise – Kakashi stayed around for a long time in the hospital.
Which was a surprise, because Lee could have sworn that Guy sensei said in the past that Kakashi hated hospitals – to the point where he would rarely even visit anyone unless he absolutely had to!
So that appeared…Hmm…
Slightly unusual to Lee.
His Sensei didn’t seem to think that there was anything strange about it though.
“Oh, Kakashi?” Guy replied when Lee made – what he hoped was – a subtle remark about the other ninja’s enduring presence. “Oh, no, he is not here for me!” Guy sensei retorted without hesitation, snickering slightly. “My dear Rival has just told me that they are running some tests on him, to check if his eyes have fully healed. Getting your eyes cut out from their sockets and then re-implanted all in a day, must take a toll on them I’d imagine!” Guy sensei added, fleshing one of his million-watt smiles at Lee.
Lee felt immense happiness at seeing his Sensei’s carefree smile, but he also noted – only to himself, of course – that that story did not add up with that he himself had witnessed in the past few weeks.
Lee had been there with Kakashi in Guy sensei’s room since Guy sensei had been admitted, and in that time nobody had treated Kakashi as if he was injured. Nor did they invite him away for any tests.
So Lee knew that that wasn’t true…
No, – Lee was now convinced that Kakashi was here to look after Guy sensei!! Which was beautiful, such an earnest and admirable expression of Kakashi sensei’s devotion to their friendship and their sacred Rivalry! (Even just thinking about it brought joyful tears to Lee’s eyes!)
But – confusingly – Kakashi told Guy sensei a cover-up story to hide the fact that he was there for Guy sensei.
Why would he do that…? - Lee wondered about that for the first several days.
In the end, of course, the answer to that particular question was easy. All Lee needed to do was to reflect on his own situation: Guy sensei was adamant about shooing him (his most beloved student!) away from his bedside for a minimum of 3-4 hours each day.
No matter how much Lee protested and assured his Sensei that yes, he was happy to stay by his bedside – and no, he didn’t have any other duties to attend to (although that wasn’t true, strictly speaking….. but none of them were as important as being there for his Sensei!), his Sensei sent him away mercilessly. It felt to Lee as if Guy sensei – secretly – disliked being looked after.
On the other hand, Guy never sent Kakashi away because (due to Kakashi’s story) he appeared to assume that Kakashi was a patient himself – an alibi corroborated by a nurse who would seemingly appear in their room to “check in on Kakashi” every now and then.
(And each time she did, Kakashi would pass a little envelope to her, which Lee (with minimal snooping) had figured out contained a respectful amount of money – so yes, Kakashi was bribing that nurse… Not even cheaply, might Lee add…)
Although Lee was slightly (no, actually – incredibly!!) concerned about the nurse’s time being wasted this way, he also felt oddly touched that his Sensei had such a great friend like Kakashi who was willing to go to such lengths to ensure that Guy sensei wouldn’t get suspicious about why he was staying with him at the hospital!
And maybe, so that his Sensei wouldn’t (couldn’t) send him away…
But then – there was another thing Lee had noticed.
Kakashi had this… look on his face sometimes. Only when Guy sensei was clearly engrossed in something else – only then! – Kakashi would steal -what Lee could only describe as- a quick, wistful glance at his Sensei.
Usually, the ‘look’ would be over in a matter of milliseconds, so at first, Lee wasn’t even sure if it was actually happening, or if it was just his own overactive imagination that was projecting his inner sadness onto the Copy Ninja’s face. But Lee was good at observation (as was every shinobi worth their salt) and after a while, he noted that there was a clear pattern here!
Guy sensei would look away – Kakashi would sneak a look at Guy sensei – Kakashi would look crestfallen.
Guy sensei would look back at the other ninja – Kakashi’s eyes would crinkle into a fake smile.
Rinse, repeat.
So what was going on there?
Initially, Lee had assumed that Kakashi was simply upset about his Sensei’s physical injury – after all, being his Sensei’s Eternal Rival, Kakashi knew better than anyone how amazing Guy sensei’s physical abilities truly were.
Maybe he is sad for him – Lee mused. – Maybe Kakashi is worried that Guy sensei will fall into a depression because of this injury, or something like that. I could understand that…
Oh yeah, he understood that concern intimately (shared it even; although he knew that he shouldn’t -- Guy sensei was gonna be just fine!).
That’s what Lee thought for the first few weeks.
But then one day Mitarashi Anko-san came around.
“Hello, old-timer!" The tokubetsu jōnin greeted Guy sensei jovially. "I heard that you were chilling out here, so I thought I’d drop by to visit –!” Her eyes seemed to jump as she noticed Kakashi in the other end of the room. “Oh, my, my! And you are here too, Kakashi~ ~ !" She added in a playful voice. "Is this where you’ve been hiding from Tsunade--?”
At the mention of his name, Kakashi stood up remarkably quickly; taking on his signature feigned slouch.
“Oh, hello, Anko. Ma, ma – no, I wasn’t doing anything like that! Is it so late already?" The Copy Nin asked glancing at the only clock in the room. "Well, indeed, I better go see Tsunade-sama to check if she needs anything from me. I’ll see you later, Guy!” He said, shooting Guy sensei a slight smile.
“See you soon, Rival!” His Sensei shouted after him and Lee was surprised to see a ghost of a sadness – or tiredness, perhaps- crossing his beloved Sensei’s features.
Only to be replaced by a brilliant smile when he looked up at Anko, of course.
“Hi, Anko-chan!” His Sensei greeted her enthusiastically. “It is very kind of you that you’ve decided to drop by! How have you been?”
Lee was about to ask the two comrades if he should leave so that they could continue their conversation in private – when suddenly he felt rooted to the spot as Anko’s demeanour changed.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Guy! I didn’t mean to chase Kakashi off—”
“Oh, nonsense, nonsense, Anko-chan!” His Sensei laughed, rubbing the back of his head. “Kakashi is like a cat – he comes and goes! Maybe he’ll come back eventually…”
“So same as always,” Anko said, a rueful smile appearing on her face. “And how’s your dating life?”
“Anko, not in front of my beloved Pupil, please!”
Lee took that as his cue.
“Oh, I was just gonna go to the cafeteria to grab some snacks!" He interjected quickly. "Sakura-san wanted to meet me for lunch anyway. I’ll be back in an hour or two - if that is alright with you, Sensei?” Lee asked, smiling at his teacher dutifully.
“Oh, sure! Have a fun time, Lee!” Guy answered, appearing pleased by the notion that Lee was going out to meet a friend.
And Lee felt absolutely rotten, because for the first time ever - he had lied to his Sensei…!
I hope you'll forgive me one day, Guy sensei! - he thought, cringing internally.
Because he didn’t actually have a meeting with Sakura-san (in fact Lee hadn't seen her since their last fight in the war) and Lee wasn’t even planning on leaving, in truth…
Because here was the thing: something was niggling in the back of Lee’s mind and he had a hunch that whatever his Sensei and Anko were about to discuss right now might hold the key to said puzzle!
So Lee pretended to leave (perhaps making his footsteps a touch louder than necessary, to convince Guy sensei and Anko that he was well on his way down the corridor) before he carefully made his way back to the door of Guy sensei's room– using his stealth and his rudimentary chakra-control abilities to conceal his chakra signature as fully as possible.
He could only hope that Anko-san wouldn’t clock him but based on previous missions Lee knew that his chakra-cloaking ability was remarkably good! Even Neji had told him so…
(Oh, Neji, if only you were here! You would have figured out what’s going on with Guy sensei and Kakashi sensei ages ago!)
Lee pushed his sad thoughts aside and he plastered his ear to the door in order to listen in on his Sensei’s conversation.
Anko-san was speaking when he picked up the sound of their voices again.
“Guy, you know that I’m always available if you need to forget about him for a while…”
“Oh – no-no-no, Anko-chan!" Guy sensei sounded mildly panicked as he objected. "I don’t need to forget anything, I’m fine--!”
“I saw the way you looked at him when he was leaving.” Anko said, sounding apologetic. “Guy… You don’t have to pretend right now… he isn’t here. It’s still Kakashi you’ve got the hots for, isn’t it?”
Lee nearly let out an audible gasp when he’d heard that.
What???
He held his breath for a second, to make sure he wouldn't miss his Sensei's reply—
“ --- Is it that obvious? I bet Kakashi knows about it too, then—” Guy sensei replied. He let out a slight chuckle, although his voice sounded anything but happy.
Gosh, the sound hurt Lee's ears.
Anko replied without missing a beat:
“Oh, god no!! Kakashi is an idiot and he wouldn’t recognise feelings if they hit him over the head!” Anko retorted, miffed. “I, on other hand, am an Infiltration and Interrogation specialist, so you best believe that I've noticed the way your face fell when that jackass had left the room just now!” Anko paused briefly, appearing to consider what she was going to say next. “I’ve told you before - if you want him to know, you should tell him how you feel—“
“And I’ve told you that I’m not going to do that,” His Sensei replied firmly, without hesitation.
“God knows why,” Anko shot back without heat. “What’s the worst that could happen? Sharingan Kakashi is so good at burying his own feelings, I bet he wouldn’t even flinch if you confessed your undying love to him! – Which for the record, I know you wouldn’t do; I bet you could find a way to express your feelings a bit more carefully. – But in any case, I think - if you did tell him - he would just flash one of those creepy little smiles at you and if he doesn’t return your feelings, he’d act like nothing had ever happened! Or, if he does return your feelings – which I strongly suspect he does-, than he'd tackle you to the floor and he’d proceed to snog you senseless until you kicked him--!“
“I really don't think... --- Tssh! Have you heard that?” Guy sensei asked suddenly, sounding alarmed.
Oh, crap!
Lee hadn’t even noticed, but when Anko began describing how Kakashi sensei might - uhumm- react to Guy sensei’s love confession, Lee must have made an involuntarily noise!
Because suddenly he could hear that Guy sensei’s voice was turning towards him.
Calculating that he had exactly one second to get out of there before he was busted, Lee did his best to peel himself away from the door quietly, unnoticeably and then --he ran!!
He didn’t stop until he was slightly breathless – which was fairly soon, considering his heightened emotional state but still several kilometres later – and when he did, he found the nearest bench and collapsed onto it, burying his head in his hands.
Oh shit. His Sensei was in love with his Eternal Rival…!
And Lee had never suspected a thing!!!
Well, to be fair – he reasoned internally. It’s not like Guy sensei was forthcoming about that!
Not in the least---
But still – looking back now, Lee cringed.
Wow, there were signs. There were…
Of course, the fact that his Sensei’s love interest was a man didn’t bother Lee in the slightest. Lee knew that Shino and Kiba were together and he felt a warmness in his heart every time he saw the adoring looks Kiba would shoot at his partner whenever they showed up at an event together. Love was love, no matter what.
… And come to think of it, yes – whenever Guy sensei had lectured him about Love in the past, he never specified what gender Lee’s love interest should be. Which Lee had always felt distinctly grateful for, although now at the ripe old age of 18, he was fairly sure that he liked girls.
Although he was no longer infatuated with Sakura-san, all of his own wet dreams featured feminine bodies – with gentle curves, smooth, soft skin, long shiny hair, etcetera... – The usual stuff.
(Lee wasn’t even special in this regard…)
And of course, none of this mattered, because no girl had ever shown an ounce of interest in him.......... (Sadly...)
(Naruto-kun was so lucky that Hinata-chan loved him so much...)
Whatever, focus!!! – He brought himself back to the present by patting his own cheeks, hoping to shake his gloomy thoughts.
What did he know about Guy sensei's problem?
Well, based on the conservation he had (very very wrongly!!) eavesdropped on, he had found out that his Sensei had romantic feelings for Kakashi – although how long he’d had them, or how deep they ran was unclear…
But Guy Sensei never did anything half-heartedly. If he had feelings for Kakashi – which he had admitted – than those must be some pretty serious feelings, Lee would have wagered...
On the other hand, Lee wasn’t sure if Kakashi had any romantic feelings towards his Sensei – come to think of it, Lee wasn’t even sure if Kakashi swung that way – but then again, Lee thought he knew his Sensei better than anyone else and he hadn’t known that Guy sensei was interested in men, so hmm!… His own judgement was apparently pretty unreliable.
So – yes, Lee wasn’t sure if Kakashi liked his Sensei that way, but he knew that Kakashi hadn’t left his Guy sensei's bedside for several weeks now - even though he hated hospitals in general… And Lee had seen Kakashi making strange looks at his Sensei, which could have easily been interpreted as wistful – or perhaps longing, even- hmmm…
Suddenly, the memory of Anko-san’s remark popped into Lee’s head.
“What’s the worst that could happen? If you did tell him - he'd just flash you one of those creepy little smiles and if he doesn’t return your feelings, he’d act like nothing ever happened!”
“ ’Like nothing ever happened’, huh?” Lee repeated Anko-san’s words out loud, tasting them.
That didn’t sound too bad…
Surely, that was better than the alternative that his Sensei was choosing?
But – a voice in his head objected. – It is Guy sensei’s choice to keep his feelings secret if he wishes to do so!! He must have a reason why he is doing that!
Yeah, probably – Lee conceded internally.
But – what if what Anko-san said was true? She said that Kakashi was bad at recognising his other people's feelings (to put it mildly)…
So here came the dilemma.
Guy sensei seemed convinced that Kakashi didn’t return his feelings.
Yet, based on the interactions Lee had witnessed between the two jōnin in the past few weeks Lee had the exact opposite impression – eg. he felt fairly certain that Kakashi felt something towards his teacher and that ‘something’ was probably beyond friendship.
Truthfully, if Lee hadn’t overheard his Sensei admit his romantic feelings towards his Rival out loud – he wouldn’t have known that Guy sensei felt anything towards the other jōnin!
So could it be that Kakashi was also in the dark?
Maybe he had no idea that Lee’s Sensei was in love with him?!
Well, that was a terrifying thought if you asked Lee.
He would never want to be in that situation himself, that's for sure!
Who would have thought that love could be so complicated? – He pondered, biting his nails (a nervous habit he tried to avoid doing as much as he could). Obviously his current dilemma was stressing him out to the point where he could no longer resist resorting to his old habits.
As he continued thinking about the issue, he didn't gain any new insights but he felt like his heart was about to explode and he was starting to get a headache.
After another ten minutes of fruitless reflection, Lee determined that he had no idea what to do next.
Who was he kidding?!? – He was way out of his depth here!!!!
Lee needed help!
Or at least a confidant! - he thought feeling his brows crinkling from the intensity of his own thoughts.
Someone he could confide in…
Someone who wouldn’t tell anyone about Guy sensei’s secret!!… Yosh!!!
(That was of paramount importance – afterall, Lee should not have known about his Sensei’s secret in the first place!! He would never-ever betray Guy sensei further by sharing his secret with someone who might pass it on to others!)
A most honourable person then…
Tenten? – Nooo, she had good intentions but she wasn’t good at keeping secrets… Also, she could never keep a straight face in front of Guy sensei if Lee told her what he knew now…
Naruto? – Naruto was probably worse than Tenten at keeping secrets…
Suddenly, the perfect solution popped into his head, and Lee punched his palm in excitement.
Oh, yes! – Sakura-san of course!
Sakura was good at keeping secrets and she knew Kakashi – perhaps she could help Lee decide whether he jōnin had feelings for Guy sensei! And Sakura knew a lot more about romance and matters of the heart than Lee himself did; she could surely advise Lee about how he should proceed!
Lee looked at the sun’s position – he still had at least an hour left until his promised return to the hospital. Plenty of time to seek out Sakura-san… hopefully, Lee would find her on her lunch break (his own stomach rumbled happily at the thought).