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Life (of) Surprise

Summary:

The problem is firstly that lying to his mum got him a boyfriend and secondly that Jaskier is besotted with said boyfriend. So, in his love-addled mind, he concludes that lying to his mum again is a splendid idea – it may as well get him a husband.

“If all goes well, the wedding should be next year.”

At least, it better be. Jaskier and Geralt are going to the coast tomorrow.

Or

Jaskier lies to his family about being engaged to Geralt for the second time... and there are way too many surprises involved.

Chapter 1: I - A Surprise Is Born

Notes:

This fic is the last part of this series. The three previous fics are a long read so let me recap the story real quick:

- Jaskier lied to his mum about having a fiance before his father's birthday party. He then had to make a silly post about looking for someone who'd be willing to pretend to be his fiance. Lambert tagged Geralt as a joke in the comments. Eventually, Geralt ended up agreeing to it. To make it believable, Geralt and Jaskier exchanged "engagement" rings. Geralt wore a silver band with engravings of buttercups. Jaskier wore a gold signet with a three-dimensional head of a wolf.

- Geralt was a Royal Navy commander about to retire. During the family party, Jaskier and Geralt decided to try being together but then it turned out that Geralt would be sent on one last employment. Jaskier wanted to be with Geralt anyway and Geralt gave in.

- Jaskier and Geralt stayed together during the deployment, which lasted 11 months. They had video calls at least once a week. It wasn't easy at all but they got through it. Geralt started calling Jaskier "his siren". Jaskier wrote many love songs for "his sailor".

- Jaskier has a good relationship with his family. He's especially close to his mum, Wanda, and his sisters, Rozalia and Amelia. Rozalia is one year older than him, Amelia is five years younger. The Pankratz siblings are all in their thirties.

- Geralt is in his early forties. He and Yennefer are divorced but they have amicable relations and raise teenage Ciri together. Ciri is a fan of Jaskier's music and she was the reason Geralt agreed to the pretended engagement thing in the first place.

- Geralt returned home a little bit more than a year ago. Now it's time for Jaskier to reach peak dumbassery again.

Hope you enjoy! 💕💕

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The little tap against his hand is so delicate that Jaskier almost misses it. When he does catch it, it feels so monumental that his breath is taken away. It’s a good thing he’s sitting at Amelia’s knees because his legs would’ve given away under him. His eyes well up with tears as he looks up at his younger sister, who smiles down at him softly. She’s seated between Rozalia and Nasir, the child’s father, on one of the couches in the living room. She seems to be glowing like an angel in the sunlight that falls into the room through the doors open to the back garden.

Jaskier is very close to crying as he glances back at Amelia’s prominent baby bump. It’s such a fascinating thing, that his little niece isn’t even born yet but Jaskier already loves her so fiercely.

“Have you chosen a name yet?” he asks hoarsely.

Amelia and Nasir share a look, and it’s plain to see that there’s some awkwardness between them still. Amelia said they’d been trying to get to know each other better for the past eight months but they’re not as relaxed around each other as a couple would be.

This kind of thing simply happens. Sometimes new life makes itself known a few weeks after a night of passion, surprising both parties involved, and the two people decide to become parents even though they aren’t interested in being together. At least Nasir seems to be a good sort – caring about Amelia’s well-being and invested in the baby’s life. Not that he has any other choice. Jaskier and Rozalia are a force of holy terror together and there wouldn’t be any nook on the planet where Nasir could hide from their wrath if he did their little sister any wrong.

“We want it to be a surprise,” Nasir replies with a smile, his voice is like velvet and molten chocolate.

He’s very handsome, Jaskier has to give Amelia that. Not as handsome as Geralt, though; no one is. That’s Jaskier’s admittedly biased but still completely reasonable opinion, if he does say so himself.

Jaskier keeps his hand on Amelia’s belly, waiting for the baby to kick again. It’s the first time that he’s felt the little one move – working on a new album and concerts kept him busy – and he’s almost high on it. Rozalia talks to Nasir about his medical profession but Jaskier only half-listens, too focused on his niece. Soon, she kicks again, stronger this time, and Amelia hisses in pain.

“Are you all right?” Jaskier asks her, with a gravity that doesn’t exactly fit the situation.

Amelia gets that sharp look in her eye and Rozalia does too, which is a good thing. They both understand what he’s really asking.  

Only Rozalia and Jaskier know that Amelia was pregnant once before, almost a decade ago. She wasn’t ready for motherhood back then, so she made a decision she’s never regretted making. Jaskier doesn’t want her to regret this choice either.

“I’m okay,” Amelia reassures, “This whole thing is a bit terrifying and definitely hurts sometimes, but it’s not bad.”

Not bad means not bad at all, I like it in Amelia-speak. Jaskier is relieved to hear and he can see that Rozalia is too.

None of the Pankratz siblings has ever truly been inclined towards parenthood. Rozalia and Silvio don’t want to have children. Jaskier can barely keep himself alive most days, leave alone a kid. Amelia always said she was on the fence about it.

Until now, it seems.

Jaskier is ecstatic. He can't wait to spoil his little niece rotten, already willing to give her the world. After he started spending time with Cirilla, he's grown to adore caring for a child, even to the point of regretting not having one of his own (and he does know what a terrible idea that would be, thank you very much). He's going to be the best uncle in the world; he doesn't do anything by halves.

Jaskier manages to catch one more kick before his mum walks into the living room, ushering him, Rozalia, Amelia and Nasir to the garden, where the rest of the family waits, already sitting by the table.

Dinner passes pleasantly. Everybody is in good mood, the food is delicious, and the April afternoon is warm and lovely. The wonderful atmosphere lulls Jaskier into a false sense of security. He honestly should’ve seen it coming but he’s too busy cherishing the moment. The words catch him completely off guard.

“Well, Julek, look at your sisters!” his mum says, “Rozalia is married, Amelia is having a baby. When will you settle down, darling? What are you and Geralt waiting for?”

Everyone’s eyes are on him and Jaskier panics. Confessing to his family that he and Geralt have actually been engaged for zero days would be rather awkward at this point. They believe that Jaskier’s known his “fiancé” for four years and has been engaged to him for half of that time. To them, it seems reasonable that Jaskier and Geralt should marry.

The truth is that Jaskier and Geralt have been a couple for two years and two months. Although they keep pretending to be engaged in front of Jaskier’s family (because they find it hilarious) and still wear the rings (because they got attached to them), they haven’t talked about marriage yet. Jaskier knows he shouldn’t rush it. However, there has arisen a certain problem.

The problem is firstly that lying to his mum got him a boyfriend and secondly that Jaskier is besotted with said boyfriend. So, in his love-addled mind, Jaskier concludes that lying to his mum again is a splendid idea – it may as well get him a husband.

“Ah, well,” he answers, “I wanted to surprise you when the invitations are ready.”

What?!” his family collectively screech.

“Yeah,” he replies, putting on his most convincing dreamy smile, “If all goes well, the wedding should be next year.”

At least, it better be. Jaskier and Geralt are going to the coast tomorrow.

Notes:

Jaskier is going to have a baby niece 🥺🥺🥺 When I imagine him as an uncle it just makes me melt ❤️

Next chapter: the proposal and the surprise that comes after.

Please toss a comment if you'd like 💙💛