Chapter Text
Barney paid no mind to the terrarium in the corner of the dorm. How could he, when a flurry of touches and kisses corralled him onto the bed and stripped him of his clothes?
It was probably an iguana. Gordon seemed the type.
It was only afterwards, being spooned comfortably in bed as sweat cooled on his forehead that Barney could get a good look at the tank just across the room. The dorm was dark, but there was enough ambient lighting to discern the shapes of logs and twigs. Sure enough, one twig moved, and then another, and another, until finally the reality of what Barney was looking at registered in his brain. In the single pulse of a synapse his entire body locked up, his breath held, eyes wide, blood iced, stomach dropped to the center of the earth.
There, staring back at him, was a giant, hairy tarantula.
The gaze petrified Barney to stone; a gaze from far too many eyes. Fast asleep, Gordon remained blissfully unaware that he was curled around a frozen statue. Barney was too afraid to make a move or utter a sound, lest he stir the creature or his lover to agitation. Instead, he gripped the covers tight, trying to close his eyes but knowing deep down in his gut that if he let his guard down, he would surely awaken to this hairy creature crawling on his face.
So his eyes remained open, his brain drifting frighteningly close to sleep before being sharply reigned in by a deep-seated and primal fear. The hours blurred, the time immeasurable with natural light shut out by layers and layers of concrete and soil.
Hour after hour after hour after hour.
Harshly and mercifully, an alarm shrieked through the cold air, and Barney swallowed the heart that had jumped into his throat. Gordon groaned, his spooning arm recoiling back to rub at his eyes. He felt around for his bearings, his touch softening once he remembered he had company for the night. He leaned in close to plant a kiss on Barney’s ear.
“Good morning,” Gordon murmured.
“Mhmm,” Barney hummed, too tired to mask his frustration.
Still oblivious to the nightmare scenario, Gordon quickly rolled out of bed and switched on the lights. Barney watched as the tarantula scurried from the light, hiding beneath a log. A fresh wave of revulsion reverberated through his bones.
“I don’t know how you sleep at night with that monster staring at you,” Barney huffed.
Gordon frowned, a deep line creasing between his brows. Still clad in his briefs, he motioned over to the terrarium. “You mean Henrietta?”
“I don’t care what you call it,” Barney cried out. “It gives me the creeps!”
The look he gave Barney was odd. Full of disappointment more than anything. He heaved a deep sigh. “You know, it’s usually women that have a problem with the company I keep."
“Oh, nice insinuation there, pal,” Barney sneered. “Anyone in their right mind would burn that thing with a flamethrower!”
All at once, that haughtiness fell away from Gordon’s face, replaced with deftly controlled rage. “Get out.”
Barney, still buck-naked in bed, faltered under the intense gaze. “Are you kidding me?”
Yet Gordon’s glare did not let up, his finger rigidly pointed to the door. “Get out of my dorm. Now.”
Barney made a huff, but found himself too intimidated to object any further. He threw off the covers and quickly shuffled back into his clothes, keenly aware of Gordon’s intense glare whilst he did so. He didn’t dare reciprocate eye contact again, simply barging out the door without another word.
Fifteen minutes later, Barney dejectedly pursued the fatty and carb-loaded breakfast offerings in the cafeteria. He settled on the last pair of donuts and a cup of black coffee. With caffeine finally flowing through his veins, he could finally shrug off some of his sleep-deprived stupor and get the gears in his head turning. Was his phobia more important than getting laid, after all? It was good sex, definitely the best he was going to get in crazy-ass place, but of course the guy had to own a fucking pet spider of all things.
Barney pretended to ignore Gordon’s entrance, his methodical procurement of a bowl of oatmeal, and his retreat to a table in the corner of the cafeteria. An inconspicuous glance told Barney more than his peripheral vision could: a tense back and a terse frown. He felt his conscience leaning on his shoulder, and attempted to shrug it off. He was ultimately unsuccessful. Barney stood from his table, taking his breakfast with him, and crossed no man’s land.
Gordon, an already sparse conversationalist, was a master at the silent treatment and kept his head down as the guard approached. Like a white flag of surrender, Barney waved the apology donut at the edge of the scientist’s vision.
“I managed to get the last two,” Barney said, placing the fried bread on his friend’s napkin. “Here’s your half.”
Gordon eyed it, silent.
“Can I sit here?”
The implacable man shrugged, picking up the donut and taking a bite out of it. Relieved but still leery, Barney slipped into the empty chair across from Gordon. Instead of chowing down on his own donut, he ran a hand through his hair.
“Hey, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier,” Barney spoke, avoiding eye contact. “It’s your dorm, and what you keep in there is your business. I was a guest, but I ended up being disrespectful.”
Gordon looked up from his food, the glare on his glasses causing his expression to be unreadable.
Barney looked away, shyly palming his neck. Still, somehow, he found the courage to continue. “Look, I had a really good time last night, barring my phobia. So… would you give me a second chance?”
A small smile creeped onto Gordon’s face. “Yeah. I had fun, too.”
Barney let out a relieved sigh, slumping in his chair.
“I know a lot of people don’t like bugs, I get it,” Gordon said, “but I don’t like it when people express a desire to ‘kill them with fire.’ Especially if those bugs are my pets.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Really, I’m sorry.”
Gordon seemed to deflate a bit too, the ice in his joints melting. “I should apologize too. I didn’t need to insult you.”
Barney waved it off. “It’s alright. My classmates in school didn’t give me that bad of a time when spiders sent me screaming. I was the class clown, after all. It was part of my act.”
Gordon shook his head, reminiscing himself. “You know, the only time I got detention in school was after I wailed on a kid for smashing snails during recess.”
Barney’s brows shot up in surprise. “Is that so? Well, thanks for not giving me a black eye, Doc.”
“You really believe I’m a violent person?” Gordon asked, tone serious.
“Well, I mean, you coulda fooled me!” Barney laughed, playing off his friend’s concern. “I never want to see you mad again. You look scary as hell.”
At this reply, Gordon only frowned, his gaze drooping to his half eaten donut.
“Hey, now,” Barney said, reaching out to clap his friend on the shoulder. “It’s all in the looks, right? I know you’re harmless. You’re like what they say about bugs. That they’re more afraid of you than you are them... or they only attack when they are cornered or whatever.”
Gordon lifted his eyes, some warmth returning to his green irises.
“Or if you smash snails for fun,” Barney added.
That finally broke a smile on Gordon’s face, and he playfully pushed his friend’s reassuring hand away, but still held on, thumb stroking the top of his knuckles in a tender caress.
Barney blushed, picking apart his donut. “Maybe we should stick to my dorm instead?” he offered.
“What if I put a sheet over the terrarium?”
“Deal.”