Work Text:
''It will be fine,'' Eren said for the twelfth time this week clearly exasperated.
''Yeah but what if I fuck up?'' Levi called from the bathroom.
''I have no idea how you could fuck it up, just be the ray of sunshine that you always are'' Eren sang.
''Fuck you, Eren,'' Levi mumbled which only made the other man laugh.
''No but seriously, take it easy. Just don't swear too much, okay?''
"So I need to suppress like 43 percent of my vocabulary?"
"Pretty please," Eren said and Levi could sense that he was smiling sheepishly like he so usually did.
They had already been dating for a few years but Levi never had the opportunity to meet Eren's parents since they lived so far away and he was quite a busy man. But now that they both got a week off from work they decided to fly to Colorado. And it was killing Levi. He had never had to meet anyone's parents - well he should have had but didn't care to do that before Eren came in.
It was going to be hard but he would manage. He'd do anything to get Eren's parents like him. He wasn't the most charming person and it only meant that he'd have to work extra hard in making a good impression. He didn't want to end up in a hate-relationship with in-laws for the rest of his life. And Levi was in the long haul with Eren.
Levi had booked a hotel for them since he wasn't comfortable with the idea of hanging around 24/7 with Carla and Grisha in case they disliked him. Eren swears he had told them only good things of the raven but he could fuck it up within the first minute of the meeting, so he wasn't taking any chances.
Finally, Levi emerged from the bathroom, dressed in black slacks and a navy blue button-up with sleeves rolled up neatly.
Eren looked up from his phone and stared Levi for a while "You look hot" he finally said, trying to play it cool but his dilated pupils gave him away. He had been laying in the bed (shockingly) ready before Levi.
"Too hot for a dinner with parents?"
"Definitely, even my dad would want a little more than just a handshake."
"You're gross, you know that?" Levi grimaced and went back to the bathroom to fetch his watch. Eren soon followed and slid his hands around the shorter man lowering his head on Levi's shoulder. Levi pretended not to notice the younger man, only focusing on getting the watch on his wrist.
"We have time, you know," Eren breathed on Levi's neck, kissing it gently.
"Time for what?"
"You know what I mean," Eren said and nibbled Levi's earlobe gently. The older man sighed softly and turned around to meet Eren's desiring gaze.
"You're also incurable."
"Am I?" Eren smirked with half-lidded eyes and slid his hands down on Levi's hips. "I could calm your nerves" he continued and let his eyes roam the body in front of him. He started to slowly rock forward Levi's crotch. "I'd gladly help you out."
"You would?"
"Yeah."
"I don't want to be late, your parents wouldn't like that. It would give a bad impression," Levi hesitated even though Eren was making him pretty horny too.
"I'd be happy to be late if I got to suck you off," Eren stated and got on his knees. "Please, daddy?"
"Don't ever again call me that, for fuck's sake," Levi scowled but that only caused Eren to chuckle. He rested his head against Levi's thigh and rubbed his cheek against it, leaving a few kisses here and there.
"So may I?" the brunet looked up pleadingly. It was hard to say no, especially since Levi was growing a semi. If they were going to be late, it'd be for a good reason. Right?
"If you insist," Levi then smirked, tangled his fingers in Eren's locks and enjoyed the ride.
***
"I'm driving!" Eren shouted, keys of their rental car already between his fingers. He didn't drive a lot these days, having driven his license in a rather small city so driving in a city such as Philadelphia made him a bit nervous.
"If you won't kill us, sure," Both men had freshened up and Eren had changed his sweater into a forest green turtleneck after the little moment of heat, but now they were finally ready to meet Eren's parents.
The drive to Eren's childhood home in Edmond from their hotel in Oklahoma City was a good thirty minutes. And Levi was surprised to find out Eren knew how to drive there, even if it had been a long time since he had visited his home.
The drive had been a quiet one but after pulling up to the driveway of a comically typical upper-middle-class home, Levi started to fidget.
"Relax," Eren squeezed Levi's hand gently. "You're doing amazing sweetie," he continued quoting Kris Jenner which didn't amuse the older man.
"Are you ready?" he asked this time seriously.
"Yeah," Levi nodded "Let's do this."
They exited the car and before they even reached the door, Eren's mother opened it, radiating with warmth and enthusiasm.
"Welcome back to home!" She hurried to Eren and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug. "You've got so handsome!" Carla cried out after letting her son go. Eren blushed and muttered something incoherent. She smiled fondly and then turned her attention to Levi.
"It is so nice to finally meet you, Levi," Carla said and hugged the now surprised shorter man who hugged her back a bit awkwardly at first.
"Eren has spoken so much of you."
"I hope only good things."
"Mostly," she laughed and let him go. "Come on inside, the food is almost ready." Carla continued and ushered the boys in.
Grisha came to see them in the hallway and gave them both a firm handshake. After the greetings, they chatted a bit and eventually headed to the dining room where the amazing smell intensified. They sat down around a table that Carla had filled with mashed potatoes, different kinds of salads, bread and some kind of meat with of which Levi was not sure what it was.
"I assumed that Eren doesn't cook at your house so I made some German food so you could have a taste of it, Levi," Carla smiled and gestured for the men to fill their plates.
"I don't know how he has survived to this point with his skills but he bakes a lot."
"He bakes?" Grisha was surprised.
"I'm right here," Eren furrowed his brows.
"Yes, and he's very good at it," Levi praised Eren which earned him a smile from the younger man. Carla seemed to be pleased by that fact judging by the warm smile on her face. God, Eren really looked like her mother.
"And you are a conductor, right?" Grisha asked. "We are not very familiar with musical circles but Eren has sent us a few videos and it seems you and your orchestra are really appreciated," he continued.
"Well, we are aware of our privilege to be a part of such an old and renowned orchestra but we still work hard to keep the orchestra among the best ones," Levi spoke and Eren's parents nodded understandingly but it came clear that he was no celebrity here. They talked about how Eren wanted to play any instrument he could get his hands into but then later found his passion architecture.
"Could you pass the salt, daddy," Eren asked. And without any thought, Levi reached up to the shaker only to notice that so did Grisha. The world seemed to stop at that right moment. Levi felt his skin go cold and then immediately heat up, leaving him nauseated and unable to do anything. He dared to look around him and wasn't surprised to see three sets of wide eyes staring at him.
Fix this, you fucker. He swallowed hard.
"I thought you said dandy." Fuck. That didn't help at all. Carla chewed down her food and swallowed so loud that everyone heard it.
"Why would he say dandy?" Grisha questioned both eyebrows raised but every other feature were stern, which didn't help to remove the tension.
"I-"
"He has fancy suits," Eren blurted out suddenly. Now all eyes were on him.
"What?" Carla uttered in confusion.
"Levi - he dresses up really nicely and, and its a joke between his friends and I," he continued.
"He has friends?" Grisha asked but Levi was too thankful for Eren, so he let it slide this time.
"Dad!"
"I'm just kidding, he seems like a decent man," Grisha admitted and returned to his steak, a tiny smile tugging his mouth.
"And it's not our business what you do when you're alone," he continued smugly.
"Oh my god," Eren covered his face in embarrassment.
"I swear it's nothing like that," Levi managed to say, shaking his hand in the air.
"Sure."
Levi was too mortified to say anything after that, and so was Eren. How did they even know what it meant nowadays? He really had underestimated the internet's effect on older people. Afterward, everyone kept their eyes on their food and the atmosphere was painfully awkward.
"Can I please get the salt," Eren mumbled quietly after a long silence causing Carla to burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
"You should see your faces!" she wheezed and wiped tears out of the corners of her eyes. Levi and Grisha shared a look and found common ground in Eren's misery so they as well started to laugh - Grisha more loudly. Soon everyone loosened up and the tension eased making room for more comfortable discussion.
After dinner, Levi helped Carla to clean up the table and do the dishes which made Carla ecstatic. At the same time, he learned numerous embarrassing stories of Eren's childhood and stored them in his memory for possible needs in the future, mainly meant to torment the brat.
They continued their discussion in the living room, not noticing how their visit had dragged out and nearing midnight, meaning Eren and Levi should head back to the hotel. They bid their farewells and got into their hired car, this time Levi in the driving seat.
"Your parents are nice," Levi admitted a while after.
"Yeah, annoying but nice, plus they adore you," Eren smiled sleepily.
"No they don't, maybe tolerate."
"They hated Jean."
"Everyone does," Levi muttered, making the other one laugh.
"Believe me, they like you," Eren placed his hand on Levi's thigh. "Especially mom."
"I like her a lot and her cooking."
"I'd agree if I had gotten the damn salt."
"Brat," Levi chuckled, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I love you," he continued, saying it so easily while watching the road.
"Love you too, daddy."
"Fuck off."