ExpCucumber
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Summary
Voldemort fell in the first war. Lily Potter lived.
Twenty years on, a plague no one saw coming has hollowed out the wizarding world of its men, and the Ministry, desperate, has done the unthinkable to keep magic from dying out altogether.
Severus Snape is bonded to two witches by law. One of them is the woman he has loved his whole life, who cannot bear the sight of him. The other is Hermione Granger.
⚠️THIS FIC CONTAINS NO IMPLIED OR EXPLICIT INTIMACY SCENES BETWEEN SS AND LP⚠️
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03 Jul 2026
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The first sound Severus Snape hears when he wakes from a coma after the war is a whispered argument between Hermione Granger and Remus Lupin. He’s surprised to learn that Remus has rejected his mating bond with Hermione for years only to turn up demanding that she become his mate and raise his infant son. Even more surprising is Hermione’s confession that her magic has chosen a new soulmate.
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30 Jun 2026
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“Why didn’t you just tell her?” Charlie asked.
“Tell who, what?” Fred asked, appearing at the bottom of the stairs with George behind him, both still blinking the sleep from their eyes.
“Hermione,” Charlie answered. “Tell her that he—”
“Charlie,” Bill warned.
“Thank the Founders,” George said, stretching his arms over his head with a groan. “I thought you’d go to your grave a bachelor, with our swotty saviour none the wiser.”
Or: Hermione and Bill harbour unrequited feelings for one another—or so they think. What follows is a classic comedy of errors full of misunderstandings, jealousy, and yearning, including a full cast of well-intentioned but misguided Weasleys.
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30 Jun 2026
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A shadow bent over her, making her scramble up. A deep, terrifyingly familiar voice said: “Student out of bounds, I suppose? And by the look and … quite distinct … stink of you, you’ve been cavorting in the mud for hours.”
___At the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione fights Bellatrix, when something very unexpected happens.
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Bookmarked by ExpCucumber
28 Jun 2026
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After surviving the second wizarding war, Severus sets off to hike himself to death, or heal. Whichever comes first; he's not picky.
Somehow, he finds his way over to a small island in the Scottish Hebrides. It's a place where magic isn't practiced, where nobody has a damned English accent, and where it's possible to set wards capable of deterring anyone with a mind for tourism. Yes, at long last, it's a place he can call home.
Unfortunately, after ten years of blissful peace and small village life (less blissful), a visitor makes it past his wards. She's come to solve the perplexing tourism problem that is plaguing the island, and she's determined to stay until she figures it out, or as long as it takes to figure out what next step to take in her own rapidly failing relationship back home.
Things are about to change.
Bookmarked by ExpCucumber
25 Jun 2026