the boys, for better or for worse
Series Metadata
Listing Series
-
Tags
Summary
"I care about you,” Chuuya muttered, refusing to look over at Dazai after his drunken confession.
Dazai let out a soft, incredulous laugh. Chibi cared about him now? How does that make sense? They were at each other’s throats day in and day out.
And why now, of all times, had Chuuya chosen to be so terribly...open? Had he caught on to the tumult within Dazai’s head? Or was whiskey some sort of backwater truth serum?
Dazai almost refused to accept Chuuya's words, but some part of him ached when he tried to deny them. Maybe, on a drunken winter night like this, he might be able to hear them. Really, truly hear them.
Because some part of him had latched onto the hope that the words that sat on the tip of his tongue every time he saw Chuuya might spill out. Not because Dazai was brave, but because Chuuya was.
Series
- Part 1 of the boys, for better or for worse
-
Tags
Summary
Dazai did not fear death, at least not in the way that everyone else did. He was not afraid of the end. Of the silence. Of the potential for eternal nothingness. No, he was not afraid of something as simple as that.
He was afraid of the after. Because what if? What if it was not all he'd hoped it would be? What if he jumped, and halfway between the sky and the earth, wind whistling in his ears, he understood? What if he had his epiphany when it was much, much too late? What if he learned how to be human, how to be anything more than achingly empty, in the moments that his heart stuttered to a halt?
Would it be worth it?
Is the end truly what he desired?
Or did he yearn for something more?
How would he truly feel in the moments before his heart stopped?
Would he regret it only when his pulse ceased its thundering dirge?
Because what if? What if once his final breath slithered from his lungs, he'd come to regret living to die?
Series
- Part 2 of the boys, for better or for worse