Chapter Text
Their apartment was silent all save for the angry typing coming from Kyle’s study. Cartman lingered in the living room, listening to the frustration coming from the spare bedroom turned home office. They’d had another fight. For Cartman, it was another day. For Kyle, he seemed to be at his wits end. It seemed like all he and his alleged boyfriend did was fight. For the past ten years, it had gotten worse. Little spats over what to watch on TV or what to have for dinner had grown into full-blown fights about unkept chores and no longer cute personality traits. Cartman’s bandwidth for the fights was larger than Kyle's, especially considering he liked to initiate them. He could tell, however, that Kyle wasn’t enjoying the banter as much as before.
The angry typing continued for thirty minutes before coming to a halt. Whatever work assignment or diary entry Kyle had taken his frustrations out on came to completion. Cartman sighed dramatically as he decided Kyle and he needed a talk. Too many nights, Kyle slept facing away from him lately. While Cartman recovered from their fights quicker, he also had to admit that he felt the tension thickening in their relationship.
“Je-,” He caught himself. “Kyle,” He tried softly.
“What?” Kyle hadn’t spared the bite in his voice. He was still frustrated after tonight’s fight. It shouldn’t be hard to pick a vacation spot. After all, it was supposed to be a way to reconnect from, well, fighting. Ironica that, they fought over that too. Not agreeing on where to go seemed to be the tip of the iceberg. Compromise wasn’t something Kyle could keep doing, and Cartman never seemed to want to learn how to. As far as Cartman was concerned, Kyle needed to learn how to let go of control. They were at an impasse.
“Are you done being mad at me now?”
“No,” Kyle tried to walk out of his office, but Cartman blocked his path.
“Well, I guess we have to talk about it then,” Cartman sighed.
“No, we need to talk about plans.”
“Plans?”
“I can’t do this anymore, Eric. I’m tired. All we do is fight, and I just…I’m tired. I’m moving out.”
“You’re what?”
“Moving out,” Kyle said sternly. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“How are you leaving tomorrow? We were just planning a vacation to Hawaii and-”
“I never agreed to Hawaii! See, this is what I was talking about. You don’t hear yourself. All you care about is yourself and what you want. I’m not wasting any more time in a relationship where I’m not valued.”
“You are valued! Just because you don’t get your way every five seconds doesn’t mean you aren’t valued.”
“Look who’s talking,” Kyle snorted. “I don’t care anymore. Think what you want. Say what you want. I don’t care. I’m over this.” He pushed past the larger man. Cartman felt the force as he watched Kyle go to their bedroom. Although he was watching, the slamming of the door still startled him. From the hall, he could hear a frustrated Kyle cursing as he started packing.
For the first time, Cartman thought Kyle meant it when he said he was tired. Never before had he thought Kyle would ever actually leave. Standing there, with his ear pressed to the door, he faced the reality that Kyle would be gone by tomorrow. He wanted not to care. So badly, did he not want to care? And yet, he felt something unfamiliar resting in his chest as the hairs on his arms stood.
It was the first time he felt heartbreak like this. He didn’t know what to do about it.
***
Kyle hadn’t cared that he’d locked Cartman out of their shared room all night. He didn’t want any distractions while he filled his suitcases with everything he could. He’d already told Stan to come with boxes in the morning for everything else. As long as the primary items were packed tonight, he’d be fine. A part of him thought he felt liberated to have finally taken a stand to leave. Why should he keep dealing with the drama that came from dating Eric Cartman? He always wondered how Heidi dealt with it. Now that he had to, he learned it came from being worn down. Not from Cartman’s antics directly, but from the hope that he’d get better.
He’d say it was a shame the larger boy never did, but that’d have been a lie. The shame came from never accepting him for who he was.
And Kyle thought he could. He thought that after knowing Cartman since kindergarten, he had fully accepted Cartman as a person. The night he started dating the brunette at Wendy’s birthday party, he thought he had accepted Cartman for all that he was and more. Now, ten years later, he thought perhaps he hadn’t. Or maybe he had, and he wasn’t so impressed with it. The little things weren’t so little anymore. Cute things weren’t so cute anymore. Kyle kept trying but he just simply couldn’t. He knew he was no angel himself. Cartman, however, was not one by any measure of the word. They were adults, and it’d have been a disservice to them both to keep trying to make something work that simply didn’t.
Sighing, Kyle stretched, cracking his neck and back. It felt good. He exhaled again and let the silence take over again. He glanced at the clock to see how far into the night it had gotten. Nine o’clock was still early enough. He’d been packing for almost five hours. A break was well deserved. Having a late dinner wasn’t ideal, but there wasn’t much more he could do without his boxes. His computer would wait along with his books until morning. If he were lucky, he could maybe shove a few smaller items into his already full suitcases. It’d be a problem for after dinner. The new problem was figuring out what to eat. He’d been so angry that he didn’t go grocery shopping earlier like he’d planned. A frustrated growl preceded Kyle’s leave of the bedroom.
The apartment was quiet again when he ventured to the kitchen. He guessed Cartman was likely out somewhere, and that was fine. He’d rather not have looked at the brunette right now. Breaking up was never easy. Space would be good for them. If only Cartman shared his sentiments. Before Kyle could even touch the handle of the refrigerator, he was snatched from behind.
“What the hell?” He tried elbowing Cartman.
“Jesus, Kahl. Calm down,” Cartman fussed.
“Let me go, asshole. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Well, I want to talk to you,” He gritted his teeth as he kept pulling the ginger through the living room. Kyle tried to fight off the force pulling him into the living room. In passing, he noticed coats, shoes, and a few random items sprawled across the couch and floor. His offense was made plain as Cartman seemingly ignored his beratement. He had to if he wanted to get Kyle into the closet.
“This is bullshit,” Kyle yelled once Cartman threw him in the closet before climbing in himself. “Move!” he demanded.
“No, not until we talk this over,” Cartman blocked the door. His large body was pressed against the door, handle, frame, and all, preventing Kyle from escaping.
“There’s nothing to talk about! I said what I meant about leaving and-”
“Please, just give me seven minutes!” Cartman yelled back.
“What? Why the hell would I do that?” Kyle scowled.
“If our relationship started because of seven minutes in a dark closet, then we should end it with seven minutes in a dark closet."
Kyle paused a moment before refuting. “That is the stupidest shit I have ever heard. Move, Eric.”
“Just give me the seven minutes, Kyle. Aren’t I owed that much?”
“No! You had years to talk about, but never did. I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. Let me go-”
Kyle’s rebuttal was interrupted by a kiss. Cartman’s brash action was as shocking as it was insulting. Too often, Cartman felt emboldened to do what he wanted. Kyle couldn’t allow it any longer. Punching the taller man when they parted was the start of his retaliation.
“Hey!” Cartman touched his arm where Kyle had struck.
“Don’t fucking kiss me, asshole. What part of ‘it’s over’ are you not understanding? It’s too late to-”
Another kiss.
“Seven,” Cartman kissed him again. “Minutes.” He panted before kissing. “Give me a goodbye, Kyle,” He kissed the ginger’s neck. “That’s all I want.” He kissed the man’s jaw. Kyle kept trying to push him away as he felt Cartman wearing him down. His body was growing heated as Cartman’s greedy hands felt him up. There was something more commanding about it than when they played seven minutes in heaven all those years ago. Then, Cartman had been more shy, more uncertain. Now, he was certain. He’d spent ten years learning about Kyle’s body and how to treat it. Every spot Kyle liked, and every spot he loved, Cartman knew them. Kyle hated him for it.
“Stop it, Eric. Please,” Kyle asked weakly. He rested his head against Cartman’s shoulder. It called Cartman to stop his begging.
“Kyle, I just…I just want to remind you how we fell in love.”
“We didn’t fall in love in a closet.”
“No, but it started there. And then we dated all through senior year. We went to prom. We went to college. We lived together. We fell in love because of what started in a closet. The past ten years happened because of a game we played.”
“And now it’s over,” Kyle breathed lowly. He still rested against Cartman’s shoulder. His eyes felt misty, yet he refused to cry. He had done so much yelling today alone that he couldn’t give anything else.
“It doesn’t have to be, Bunny.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your Bunny anymore, Eric.”
“You are my Bunny,” Cartman ran his fingers through his hair. “You always will be, remember?”
“That was said when things were better. Things haven’t been good in a long time. I can’t keep pretending everything is okay when it’s not…”
“Is going to Bermuda really that important to you?”
“God, Eric, no,” Kyle finally lifted his head, sniffling. “It’s not the trip, it's…a lot. It’s everything. The fighting about this and that and the other. Every day we’re fighting about something, and I feel like I’m the only one who ever gives. I do the shopping and the cleaning, and changing the cat litter and…I just don’t feel heard. I don’t feel seen. If I ask for anything, it just feels like what you want is more important and…I can’t live like this anymore.”
Eric held Kyle to him. Staying quiet while Kyle vented was the best course of action. He hadn’t realized Kyle was carrying so much on his shoulders. The ginger always seemed to be so capable and in control. He preferred to do things his way for efficiency’s sake. It got to the point that Cartman didn’t think he had to try. Just telling Kyle what to pick up from the grocery store was his contribution to the household. On occasion, he’d do the dishes without having to be asked. Keeping Mr. Kitty and Mr. Kitty Jr out of Kyle’s office while he worked was as much work as Cartman did. When decisions like vacation came up, Cartman just wanted some control, some input. Poking at Kyle for everything else had been his way of trying to get the independent man’s attention. Cartman now saw it had been the wrong way to go about it.
“I’m sorry,” Eric said softly. “I didn’t know you felt that way. If you give me another chance, I promise I’ll be better.”
“I don’t know this time, Eric. I really don’t.”
“Please?” Cartman kissed his hair. Kyle sighed tiredly.
“I really can’t-”
“And you won’t have to. I promise. We’ll be okay, Kyle,” Eric’s voice was tender. Kyle sniffled again as he sighed out his nose again. Eric rubbed the ginger’s back, feeling Kyle relax reluctantly under his fingers. “I’ll do more to help around here, okay? I won’t pick so many fights. I’ll listen more. But you have to be more trusting. You have to talk to me. Can you do that, Bunny?”
Kyle wiped his eyes, nodding. He hated how Cartman could break his stride so easily. Just moments ago, he was ready to leave and start a new life as a single man. Now, he was being convinced to stay with the largest thorn in his side.
“If things don’t get better, Eric, I swear-”
“By the moon and the stars in the sky,” Cartman swayed slightly. Kyle hated that he laughed as Cartman continued. “I’ll be there.”
“Maybe, but I won’t,” Kyle managed.
“I know,” Cartman kissed him again. “But I’ll do anything to make sure I can keep you here. Things will-” He was interrupted by an alarm from his phone. Kyle watched as the man quickly snoozed the alarm before sighing. “Time’s up.”
“So restart it.”
“Really?”
Kyle shrugged with a snide smile. “We had two turns, that right, yeah? So, maybe we need two turns now.”
“I agree,” Cartman reset the alarm for another seven minutes. “Now, where were we?”
“You were saying things were going to be better.”
“Right, better. Much better,” He kissed Kyle’s neck. “You have my word, Kyle Broflovski. I’ll make sure you won’t feel like shit anymore.”
“Uh huh.”
“Scout’s honor,” Cartman slipped his hands under Kyle’s shirt, touching his bare back. Goosebumps formed up Kyle’s spine where he was touching as the ginger began unbuttoning his pants in response. Color Cartman surprised that Kyle was being so forward to get in his pants. He considered it a good thing, given that he was still in the process of being forgiven by the ginger. Despite telling Kyle to release control more, Cartman could handle letting the ginger have it for, according to his phone alarm, four more minutes.