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It was a busy night, as usual on a Saturday. It was late-night shopping for everyone, beginning their trek to the stores after school and leaving with noodles for legs. Everyone is loitering about, minding their own business. And so is President Tanaka, because everyone is too busy caring for themselves and not the celebrity that is on site. Good, more convenience. Too much attention isn't good, especially when you’re gambling with the age old question: “Will I get drunk, yay or nay?"
Eh, Tanaka should have someone to take him home by the end of the night anyway. No, not in that way you perv. He can probably call some employee up in the dead of night to pick him up or just collapse in the club. Probably the latter, because you can do that for free!
Anywho, he walks through the doors to Club Escapade, immediately intoxicated by the constant pulsating of beats and rhythm. Just the sound itself can make any man feel woozy. But he plans on getting woozy from alcohol tonight!
He sits down at the bar. He sees a strange man sitting just a few seats down from him. The dude is wearing some beige jacket and a pink shirt. His head is buried in his arms. Is this what alcohol does to a man? Eh, it happens. But pay no mind to him. Dude is just muttering about bad dreams. At least that's what Tanaka can hear. None of his business, though!
Tanaka calls for the waiter who takes his order of a beer. Classic for old geezers. The dude walks off.
Now, it's just the waiting game!
~
The beer arrives shortly. Will Tanaka bother to pay? Probably not. The rules don't apply to men of his calibre.
He stares at the beer, the rim of the glass only sparkling under the stagelights.
With a deft hand, he reaches for the handle and gulps that shit down. The yeasty and bitter liquid was a slap to the face. But when he drinks enough, he will feel like he got ran over by a truck.
Not even on the first drink — half, actually; he started feeling wooooozy…
But thats when…
A lady walks in. Not just any lady.
She's in some professional-looking outfit. Pink. It suits her hair. Tall and slim… and then he looks at her face.
Hey, has Tanaka seen this chick before?
…
Oh.
It's her.
She was completely oblivious of Tanaka's presence until she unknowingly sat down next to him. Looks like she has the same goal in mind as Tanaka does. Asks for a beer aswell… hmmm…
Tanaka is the first to open his mouth.
“Getting drunk again?”
Toriumi whips around, brow furrowing at the sight of the man that accosted her just a few weeks ago. Of course he is here to start shit up again, rich men are all so lonely.
“Here to pester me about how I will never get a man?” Toriumi bites; the waiter now serves her share of beer and takes an aggressive sip, maintaining eye contact.
Looks like Tanaka also takes a large swig of beer, dramatically exhaling. He raises a cocky eyebrow. “Was I wrong?"
Nothing makes him happier than annoying random women he meets. Is this the true way of life? Yes, apparently.
“Clearrrrly wrong. Screw you, what the fuck is your problem anyway!?” Toriumi sighs, muttering something… “What more did I expect…”
Tanaka takes offence to that. But before he says anything…
He takes another giant gulp of beer. Toriumi continues.
“Even at your age and stance, you are projecting your loneliness onto others; you don't find joy in anything else but harassing women.” Toriumi puts on a shit-eating grin before taking a swig. “Sorry, but I can live without a man.”
Is that…
A woman… TALKING BACK!?
Blasphemy.
Tanaka slurs.
“Oh comeeee o- hic!”
Toriumi tries to suppress a giggle but fails horribly. No way this old fart is talking when he’s getting drunk. She has only had a few sips and somehow compares better to this guy. Was health class really correct about the alcohol tolerances between genders? Maybe not…
She snickers. “Ohhhh… How many drinks have you had?”
…
Tanaka can't possibly be honest.
“This is my firs- hic!”
Yikes. He does it to himself. And no one else.
Oh god, Toriumi’s initial chuckle was a full-blown laugh. This is beyond humiliating for Tanaka. Valid payback for that day in the mall.
Payback is a bitch. Echoes a voice in her head.
It's like getting back at a bully in middle school. How else could she mess with the drunken prude?
Toriumi puts up her middle finger. A little fun never hurt anyone.
She looks intently, eyes crinkling out of the pure bliss. “Now, how many fingers am I holding up?”
Too bad for Tanaka, his vision was already swaying. What's Tanaka seeing, you wonder?
“2.”
And he says that so confidently, not an ounce of doubt!
Toriumi's laughter is hysterical now. She forgot that you can still have fun without being drunk. This is what being a teacher and crushing on your students do to you.
Well, while Tanaka sways, he takes ANOTHER swig. Let's pray for those aged kidneys tonight. It's funny how women's kidneys can handle less alcohol, but today is a different case. Mr TV star over here would probably take offense to the statement of him having a woman's kidneys.
Hey, that gives Toriumi an idea.
“For a man who's soooo against women existing, you have the kidneys of a woman. How ‘bout that?”
…ooosh.
Tanaka scowls a really bad scowl. Who does this crazy bitch think she is?
“erghh…”
Though… it’s not like he could say anything after that awful burn. Being compared to a woman? Despicable. He couldn't take that.
His face sours, but then he realises he is almost done with his beer. The disses from this weird chick are really taking a toll.
For Toriumi, though, she is still standing strong on her first beer! So she requests for another one, and voilà, more beer~
And more swigs.
Is this an indirect drink-off challenge? Fine then, Tanaka orders ANOTHER beer! See how this- this EXCUSE for a woman likes that!
It is a silent agreement, but they have swig after swig. And maybe the occasional mutterings of god knows what.
But we have gotten to the point of no return…
Spilling… secrets!
So, after a few drinks... Well, Tanaka had like 2 beers while Toriumi was chugging like… 3 beers. She has a fourth. Fifth. SIXTH… zooweemama!!!! SHE'S GOING ALL IN!
Her face was now flushed a sick red, reeking of booze, not much better than Tanaka over here. And the smell of their breaths? Atrocious.
Toriumi squeaks out an absolute banger of a sentence.
“Hic! And- and… I met this cutieee… His name is Tatsuya!”
“What a dumb hic! Fucking name! And… you met him on a game? Aren't you too old for… hic! …games?” Tanaka laughs, so much beer… he can feel his stomach lining being burnt by alcohol. Is this normal?
“Oh fuuuuck off! I actually have a lifeeee…” She points a drowsy finger taht then falls back into her lap. Even she is swaying a bit. “I tell Tatsuya everrrrrything! I have a crush on my studentttt… hes soooooo… adorbs…" Toriumi giggles to herself. “He’s just like Tatsuya… hehe…”
Oh… that's some dirt! But it's not dirty if Tanaka couldn't remember it in the morning. Probably.
Tanaka hiccups. Again.
“Ooooh… you might want him to stay away from me! I scammed some kid for 40k yen the other day! HAHAHA!!!!!” Tanaka says, his facade of a happy-go-lucky cheer is catching the attention of some people.
Toriumi snickers. “What a dumbass.”
The dumbass in question was indeed her student, Makoto. But she doesn't know that. She would flip if she ever found out.
Her expressions turns into one of sudden hostility. “You fucking suck! Why are you always scamming people!? Arent you rich!?”
Sorry Toriumi… I think rich people scam for the love of the game.
“Whaaaat? I worked myself- worked to the- hic! BONE to get where I am today! You’re a teacher? What I make in a day is what you make in a- hic month. So shut- hic -it!”
Toriumi can feel the air getting thick, even she is struggling to keep up. She speaks through gritted teeth.
“Ohhh… don't go there you scummy, lying piece of shit!”
Tanaka scoffs. “I know I am, and I am not ashamed of it. At least I don't like my students. ”
You bet that was a twist in the gut for Toriumi dearest, as if the alcohol wasnt already beating her kidneys to a pulp.
“OH fuck OFF! He's hawt… and he's already so…” She says dreamily. “maaature…”
Tanaka blinks. And blinks again.
“Weirdo.”
“YOU’RE the weirdo! Sh…shat the fuck up! I don’t pester random women for being… unmarried and independent!” She garners the last of her energy to say something, sucking in a sharp inhale. “SO YOU BETTER SHUTTHEFUUUUCKUuuu– hic.”
There was something about this hic that made Toriumi feel way too woozy.
…
Tanaka hiccups again, now clutching his stomach. Man… Toriumi is feeling the same way too. It's the domino effect…
Their heads immediately crash onto the bar, narrowly missing the big glass of beer. Oops!
And then they pass out.
Oh, and what happened to Vincent Brookes? He's still going strong and procrastinating about those dreams. Some weird emo dude with blue hair popped in and saw President Tanaka and his teacher were knocked out. He doesn't pay them the time of day. It's so totally every day you see a scummy businessman and your teacher knocked out from beer. Embrace the new normal!