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“None of this would have been happening if you weren’t naive enough to put your wallet in the back pocket of your jeans. Who even does that?” Dokyeom slammed both hands on the table between them. The thunk of it echoed around the room, bouncing off the dull grey walls and projecting itself into the mirror that reflected their situation.
“Everyone does that?”
There was a certain high to Mingyu’s voice, a shrillness that translated to weary lunacy at this point. None of this made sense.
“Oh, yes! Everyone whose lifelong dream is to have them stolen!”
"You are aware that I am not responsible for crimes other people commit," Mingyu brushed a hand through his hair.
"You are a detective! You literally get paid for this. I can’t believe you had the balls to wear that badge after getting your wallet stolen.”
“By a professional, actually.”
“Well, technically—”
“SHUT UP, ” they both howled in unison, still looking right into each other. The room fell so silent, they could hear the radiator going out in the hallway.
Soonyoung slowly retracted the finger that he had raised a second ago. He was on the verge of tears. He needed to cry and crawl out of this accidental lover's quarrel.
Soonyoung knew doing crimes was a stupid idea, that it was an idea that happened to stupid people who didn’t think much before doing stupid shit. Unfortunately, he was stupid as well.
When he set out of his house with the aim of picking at least five pockets at the weekend night market, he was elated. He doodled a four-leaf clover on his outdated calendar from last year and put on a puffer jacket. The one that every second person in the city wore.
The thing about picking pickets is that it’s as easy as tying your shoelaces. Getting away with it, though, not so much. Especially when you accidentally rob detectives.
Not one, but two. And probably out on a date.
As someone whose kleptomaniac endeavours hadn’t landed him at a single police station yet, he was wildly unaware of what the local detectives looked like.
So, when Soonyoung saw two clumsily tall guys standing in line outside the roasted chestnuts cart, he didn’t think much of it. He found a spot behind them, observing as the taller pulled the other’s cheek and giggled with all teeth flashing. It was tooth-rotting, honestly. They kept on giggling and lightly hitting each other. Looking at a distance, sharing a single huge cloud of cotton candy, giggling again. Eyes fixated on each other, only with the exception of when they smiled so hard their lids shut tight and a chuckle left their throats.
Nobody looked at another person like that unless they were dating or plotting murder. The distinction was occasionally difficult to make but their intertwined fingers, hidden inside the shorter’s trench coat pocket, spoke magnitudes.
His eyes were still on the hands growing warm with touch, when he noticed the wallet. It was embarrassingly easy to slip it out. So easy, that even Soonyoung didn’t realise that he was already halfway through the market crowd, pinching at edges to make out how big money the guy made.
Only, it was empty when opened.
No cash, no cards. Not even a penny. Other than, and what in the romance YouTube microdrama, a whole bunch of photographs.
The same guy from the queue, the boyfriend.
There was one with him eating noodles. One from what seemed like a cabin, him bowing in front of a senior perhaps. Another where he was sleeping, bunny ears doodled with a sharpie over his head.
Wow.
Another photograph. Soonyoung looked at it intently. The guy stood in the middle of a bullpen, dressed like that fox from Zootopia, looking right into camera with a gun pointed in its direction. A note slipped out and fell from behind it.
Soonyoung had long stopped running. He crouched down to pick it and turned it around to read what it said:
Seokmin was adorable today :D
He stared at the note, then the photographs, and then back at the note. He felt so mundane in the market crowd, so insignificant. So lonely.
These guys had something really cute going on. And trust him when he says this, but he would have teared up—if he didn’t make the fatal mistake of turning around.
There he stood, the tall guy staring directly at him, arms folded in front of his chest and an eyebrow raised. Their eyes met across fifty feet of crowded marketplace.
He slowly pointed at Soonyoung, who slowly pointed at himself. Soonyoung had exactly two seconds to consider his options here, which were—drumrolls—none.
So he ran.
Which was how he ended up in the interrogation room, listening to two top detectives argue about their missed reservation.
"The thing that I find most offensive about this entire situation," Seokmin declared, finger going around in circles as he burned holes into Mingyu’s face, "is that you continue to present yourself as the victim of today's events when, objectively speaking, every single unfortunate circumstance that has occurred since nine o'clock this morning can be traced directly back to a decision you made.”
Seokmin started sounding like a lawyer who had recently suffered a head injury.
“I’m sorry for being a loving partner that takes you out on dates, I guess?” Mingyu huffed. He was so tired. He ran a hand through his hair.
“Totally preventable conversation, by the way. You had said five minutes, you should’ve returned in five minutes.”
“But! He! Started! Running! With! My! Wallet!”
“You don’t even carry cash in it, you could’ve just let him go. Your wallet already is as old as a fossil.”
The two braincells on Soonyoung's shoulders (that's where they go, right?) knew for one that this isn't seeing an end any sooner. It physically pained him, seeing Seokmin go rampant on Mingyu. If he was allowed an opinion here, his verdict would be that this isn't fair to both of them. The two guys who were blooming like a bud in spring just an hour ago.
It's almost as if he felt guilt crushing his chest. Yes, that was it. If it weren't for Soonyoung, their night won't have been ruined. Seokmin would not have eaten the whole cotton candy by himself while Mingyu was busy chasing him through the random dance crowd. If it weren't for Soonyoung, they would have been making jokes and biting back smiles with the clinking of wine glasses. If it weren't for Soonyoung, Mingyu would have taken a photo of Seokmin blowing at the caressing bowl of chestnuts, before he popped one into Mingyu's mouth.
He exhaled. “Actually, " Soonyoung mumbled, " he keeps your photos in there. That's why he chased me." His voice grew smaller with every word, almost disappearing with the sentence.
Seokmin finally turned his head to look at him (in complete sync with Mingyu, too. These couples do get a little scary with this stuff.) and then back at Mingyu.
And he just. Kept on looking at him. Not a word, no questions, no follow-ups. His eyebrow twitched for a second, or maybe Soonyoung just simulated it from the way he wasn’t moving.
Seokmin took a deep breath, chest raising and falling with a beat. His eyes were glistening, soft and definitely fragile. He rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. Mingyu didn’t seem like he wanted to explain any further either.
“You know, love, we can still make it to the reservation,” he finally uttered.
“Hey so, the criminal is still here. Are you going to arrest me or…”
“You literally stole one wallet,” he fidgeted through his other back pocket and fished out a card. He pushed it towards Soonyoung. Private Security Services.
“Huh,” Soonyoung’s eyes widened with confusion.
“Former criminal. You managed to rob a detective but it would be great if you try not to rob anyone again.”
Soonyoung held the card with both hands, considering it. Maybe it was the clover from his calendar, but if this could land him a permanent safe space that went around with his cute photographs in his wallet, he won’t mind being a whatever-this-is-supposed-to-be. A smile grew on his lips. A glint in his eyes.
“I’m in!” he paused. “Aaaand they have already left.”