Chapter Text
You can't judge me; this was just data collection.
We only did it once. on the ship. anyways.
It's just bros helping bros.
ok, it was a lot of data collection. I'm a grown man who has needs. I didn't realize my needs, as I was too busy surviving to remember that I had them. and at first, when my catheter was ripped out, the last thing I was thinking about, was touching myself. but now I'm thinking about it. it's all I can think about, actually. I'm trapped in a tin can, with an alien, on our way to his home planet. my problem?
I don't know where he cannot hear me, as his hearing is incredible. like, so good. I don't know if I could shoot one off without him hearing it, no matter where I am in this ship. There's a part of that, that I cannot help but find fascinating. There's part of my brain that just don't shut off, even if I'm aroused, and one of them is my need to answer questions.
And I hate to say it, But I'm deeply curious about Eridian Biology, specifically, their sexual habits. Is it an egg thing? live birth? I have so many questions that I feel rude for asking or even thinking. Because guess what, I'm pretty sure he can read my mind somehow. He keeps asking me about things I've only ever thought about.
Is it Gay if it's an alien with no gender?
Is it Gay if none of his rocky little claws touched me?
Is it Gay if I listen to the Robot translation talk me through it?
We had all the time in the world, and I was too curious not to ask, so I broached the subject as we got closer to his home planet. He's made of very few natural items, and all of his organic matter seems to be inside. I wondered if he was like some type of crab, stalking around and putting things on their back. I think the Project hail Mary had the entire internet; I had the online world at my feet. Including a lot of porn.... Why Stratt included this I don't know. Thanks, I guess, Eva?
He shuffles up to me one day, his little Xenonite suit is making the goofy noise it always does, and he gets closer, there more I wanted to know.
Do Eridians have gender or sexuality like humans, or is it more like mushrooms, where they're kind of both and neither?
What turns on an Eridian, can they get turned on?
He finally makes his way to me, and his little translator voice knocks me from my thoughts, "Grace, your Blood is moving to lower body, Statement."
Oh. My. God. HeCanSeeMyErectionINTERNALLLLLYYYYY-
Ok. Breathe. He can see my heart rate increase, which he calls out, "Are you panicking, question?"
I try to think of an excuse, before I realize that I don't need to lie. this could be a learning experience for both of us. I just had to figure out how to broach the topic of if He would somehow cover his... Make himself unable to sense me masturbating. Because I can't wait any longer.
I admit, I hate myself for needing this. I'm a scientist, in space. Why am I thinking about jerking off right now. I have so much more important shit I could be doing. That I need to be doing. the survival of my solar system is riding on my shoulders, and all I can think about is my own needs.
They sent the wrong man.
They sent a selfish idiot.