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The thought hits Megumi randomly on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, lounging around the commons room in the dorms with the others.
Sudden, abrupt, but not completely out of nowhere, the thought wraps around him like a string or a wire and then it clings tightly, like it’ll choke him, like he’s going to die from his own psyche.
I like Itadori.
Megumi’s skin feels hot. It’s fairly cold in the room, so the fact that he starts to break out in a sweat is an even bigger testament that there’s something clearly wrong here.
Nobara’s going on a rant about how the clerk at some store in the mall didn’t want to give her a discount even though she still had a valid voucher. Inumaki’s somehow roped Maki into playing a fighting game with him on the TV and he keeps reaching over to fiddle with her controller and mess her up. She shoves him away at first until she fully begins attempting to sabotage him as well.
Panda’s sprawled out on the floor with the twins laying against him as if he were a piece of furniture. Nanako’s on her phone, doing whatever, probably scrolling social media. Mimiko’s watching Inumaki and Maki’s game.
Yuji’s the most engrossed in Nobara’s story, nodding and asking questions, annoyingly encouraging her to go on further as her voice raises and as she seemingly gets frustrated from remembering the clerk she’s complaining about.
Yuji’s head falls back a little as he laughs. Megumi’s spacing out— he’s been spacing out. He was listening to the story at some point but his eyes kept trailing over to Yuji’s lips, his smile. He gets stuck looking at him, like he can’t pull his gaze away.
He has no idea what Yuji’s even laughing about. He has no idea how Yuji’s laugh can be so pretty. How anyone can be allowed to sound like that, look like that, be like that— be like Yuji.
I like him. The thought clenches around him again. I like Itadori a lot.
Megumi’s eyebrows furrow a little.
He knows this. He’s known ever since their freshman year that he likes Yuji, and Yuji clearly likes him too. They’re friends. Megumi’s always found Yuji’s behavior to be bizarre, especially on the day they first met.
For starters, he was strong. He was so unbelievably strong, and even without using any cursed energy. And then secondly, he was stupid. He was stupid yet heroic. The type of heroic you’d only hear about in the movies, or in a bad anime meant for children.
Yuji thrusted himself straight into danger, and it was all to help his friends. He wasn’t scared or deterred. Megumi grimaced at the time. He thought Yuji was an idiot. He is an idiot. Only an idiot would have acted how Yuji acted that day.
When another curse emerged and Megumi was struggling, not being able to focus his cursed energy, not being able to execute his technique properly, Yuji did it again— he put himself straight into harm's way, and for what? For some boy he had just met? For someone he knew absolutely nothing about? For someone who had nothing to do with him?
Megumi told him to run. He assumed he would take his friends and flee the scene. Megumi was a Jujutsu Sorcerer, although he hadn’t even started classes yet— still, he was someone who could handle this. Yuji was not. He was just a random civilian.
But no, Yuji— stupid, overly heroic, unnervingly strong Yuji, did not run away. He somehow snuck up on the curse. He somehow started fighting it, holding his own against it. Megumi watched on in surprise. In complete shock. In horror.
What was this guy doing? Did he want to die? Questions like these and several more flooded into Megumi’s brain, which was far too muddled and unbalanced to fully focus.
The whole reason any of that nonsense had started was because there was a cursed object missing and Gojo had assigned Megumi to find it. He had been a Grade 2 at the time. It was fine for him to go out on missions alone.
Nothing could have prepared him for that mission though. And the object he was after was a strong one. He explained it to Yuji, that weaker curses eat the remains of stronger curses to gain more power.
The only way to defeat a curse is with a curse of your own. Yuji, being the absolute idiot that he is, took this as a means of which to fight the curse and win.
Megumi couldn’t believe what he was seeing as Yuji threw the object into his mouth and swallowed it. Besides the fact that it was vile— extremely repugnant and not at all appetizing— it was also a deadly poison. A deadly poison to any normal human. Even a trained and experienced Sorcerer would die if they did such a thing.
Megumi mourned for him. Yuji was a fool.
It wouldn’t be the first time someone Megumi had met would die due to a curse, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful whenever it did happen. This boy though, Yuji Itadori— Megumi would soon learn that he was full of surprises.
He ate the object and didn’t die. He was able to defeat the curse and it dissipated around them.
Megumi stared ahead at him, feeling boneless, feeling like he was in a dream— more like a nightmare. He was still unfocused. He still felt off center, but he hardened his resolve as Yuji opened his mouth to say something. He clasped his hands together and readied himself to use his technique, just in case he'd need to.
Consuming a curse and not dying shouldn’t be possible. If you are actually able to do so, that can only mean one thing. The curse has incarnated in you. You’re no longer human.
Jujutsu Regulations state that you are to kill any such person who becomes a curse in this way— although the records of it happening at all are so few that no one even considers it a possibility.
Megumi definitely didn’t. But nothing about that day had been going as expected. And it didn’t continue to, seeing as Gojo teleported to the scene before Megumi did something crazy.
That day feels just like any other day now, a blur that’s melded into the ironic normalcy of Megumi’s life. The irony being that nothing is normal about being a Jujutsu Sorcerer, about having attended Jujutsu High, about being a son to Gojo and Geto, about anything, maybe, about being alive.
Yuji was put under heavy investigation at first. Megumi felt responsible although the guilt he’s carried from that has lessened significantly now.
Yuji was supposed to be executed in the immediate aftermath of the events of that day. Megumi had, very uncharacteristically of him, extremely selfish of him, asked Gojo to find a way to stop it.
It was his guilt seeping out of him if not anything else. If the investigation went bad, then Yuji would die. If it went well, then Yuji would be heavily coerced into joining Jujutsu High. Either way, it’d be Megumi’s fault.
Of course, the outcome was the latter, thank god. The next time Megumi saw Yuji, he thought to give him an apology, but that didn’t seem appropriate. He thought he should do something as a form of consolation, as a form of thanks, seeing as Yuji did save him that day. But in a way, Megumi felt guilty but then also as if Yuji was at fault as well.
It was Yuji’s own recklessness and stupidity that got himself into this mess. In theory, Yuji should have no one to blame but himself.
Yuji didn’t blame anyone though. Again, much to Megumi’s surprise, Yuji was seemingly content, fine with packing up his life in Sendai and moving to Tokyo and embracing this new world.
Idiot. Once again, Megumi couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t understand a person being so casual about Sorcery when they were completely ignorant to it only a week ago.
He soon met Nobara and found that he couldn’t understand her either, for different reasons. Gojo had told Megumi then that all Sorcerers are crazy, and that they need to be, in order to handle the job.
Megumi’s certain Gojo has said something along those lines in the past before, and it does make sense. Megumi thinks this is why Nanami left Jujutsu High for some years before eventually coming back. He’s definitely the most normal person Megumi knows, and it hurts a little to think that he can’t pursue a civilian life.
It hurts a lot more to think that Megumi took that away from Yuji. It hurt even more to see the change in Yuji’s demeanor after he had shadowed Nanami for around a month in their first year, and upon returning to the school, held more of the weight of a Sorcerer than he did the weight of a normal person anymore.
Although, Yuji is not normal. Maybe never was. He feigns normalcy.
Megumi never had any friends growing up. His family doesn’t count and his parents’ friends don’t count either. His Senpais don’t count, and a part of Megumi didn’t want them to at first anyway, due to the hang-ups he had about almost all of them.
None of them are normal. Yuji isn’t normal either. Megumi had never spent time with anyone though, the way he spent time with Yuji.
He’s always thought of himself as a pretty reserved person, which he didn’t have a problem with. His family and everyone at the school can be annoying, but they’ve always put up with his aloofness. The only people who really pressured him about it were his sisters, but things changed in his freshman year.
Yuji was bubbly and couldn’t take a hint. The type of kid that Megumi would have ignored in junior high. The type of kid that would piss him off just by breathing a certain way.
Nobara was headstrong and aggressive. She could be haughty but then also surprisingly self aware at times. Surprisingly negotiable. Both her and Yuji felt like estranged siblings of sorts, often agreeing on things but then doing a complete 180° and clawing at each other’s throats.
Megumi felt like a mediator, having to keep them focused when working or during class. He’d find himself leaving his dorm more often than he’d like to, to follow them around— tag along with them and make sure they didn’t get into any trouble.
Both of them were new to Tokyo and they were very intrigued and excited by the potential glimmer of the streets, and the many districts, and the restaurants, and the shops.
Megumi unfortunately was appointed as their guide. It wasn’t even as if he knew much about the city himself, since he never got out too often, but he let himself be thrust into the role anyway.
Megumi’s never found anyone to be too special. He’s very indifferent about most things. He’s aware of the fact that there are people in his life who he holds dear, but even then, any emotions he has towards these people feel incredibly normal. Commonplace.
It’s not even a thought to him that he cares about Tsumiki, that he enjoys Mimiko’s company, that he thinks Nanako is funny, that he likes Geto’s cooking, that he feels fond of Gojo’s acknowledgments.
It’s second nature to think that he loves them, but then such a statement is so baseline, so obvious almost, that it doesn’t even occur to him. It’s never something he’s felt the need to say.
That is also due to embarrassment though, and a sense of uncertainty, or maybe doubt even. But Megumi’s always held these types of feelings for his family and them alone.
People close with his parents that have been around since they started taking care of him and the twins, also fall in line with these thoughts. So the slow realization that Yuji and Nobara were infiltrating this barrier, was certainly something. A strange and ripe feeling in Megumi’s chest.
He found himself not making excuses in his mind anymore to go spend time with them. Conversations flowed freely and easily, and the two of them were interesting, albeit both stupid. Megumi didn’t mind either of their shortcomings. Everyone has their shortcomings.
The world is ugly and thus full of many ugly people, and Megumi doesn’t view any of his family or his friends or the people he’s met at Jujutsu High as such.
It’s not in any of their natures. People have their hang-ups but at your core you’re still you. Megumi’s grown familiar with all of their ranging personalities now. Again, it’s an after thought to say that he’s grateful for them all being in his life.
It was Yuji and Nobara’s influence that got him to spend more time with his upperclassmen. It was Yuji and Nobara’s peer pressure that got him to try new things— stupid things— sometimes illegal things.
Yuji acts as if he’s a punk sometimes. He looks and dresses like one. Nobara would clock Megumi in the face if he said she resembled anything other than an empress, but she’s certainly a delinquent as well.
They’d gotten drunk once and played baseball (although less baseball and more so just one of them hitting the ball with a bat and then having Megumi use Nue to catch it and bring it back so they can hit it again) in the lot of some abandoned building, although of course that still means the building is owned by someone and they shouldn’t have been trespassing there.
The sight of Nobara holding a bat should be a clear signal for anyone to step away, but Yuji’s an idiot and nearly lost his head as she swung it into an already partially cracked window. An impulse, she said, supposedly an accident, although she then smashed another window in.
Something shimmered in her eyes as she continued down the wall, cracking the rest of them in her wake. She threw the bat to Yuji and told him to try and that it was fun. Yuji laughed and obliged all too easily.
Megumi shook his head at the pointless destruction and mayhem, although once the bat was in his hands he found that he was swinging it too.
He spends most of his time with the two of them. The phrase best friend has been thrown out here and there by Yuji and Nobara before, although they’ve never definitively said it to each other. Nobara will joke and say that she forgets Yuji’s best friend is already Todo. Yuji will frown and deny it.
Megumi doesn’t think the hierarchy of friendship is important but if he had to place someone as his best friend, it’d always be Tsumiki, if she counts.
Megumi likes Yuji. He thought he liked him as much as he liked Nobara. He thought he liked them equally, both of them coming into his life at almost the same time— just a few days apart from each other.
They’re both annoying, and scheming, and nosy, and stupid, and Megumi supposes they’re his closest friends, excluding his sisters. He’s fought with them, bled with them, consoled them, been consoled by them, felt guilty over them, and at this point, he doesn’t know how he could go on normally without either of them around. The same can be said for all the other staples in his life.
But every now and then— subtly, faintly, and, well— Megumi’s not sure when it started— something felt different.
This feeling, this underlying affection that Megumi undoubtedly feels for the people he cares for… it isn’t exactly the same when it comes to Yuji specifically.
Megumi didn’t think anything of it, when they were freshman. He thought strangely at first that things only felt different with Yuji because Yuji’s a boy. Most of the people his age that he had interacted with at that point in his life, had been girls. He considered his sisters his closest friends, and they’re all girls.
Inumaki and Yuta were the closest to him in age, but Yuta was always away, and Inumaki was too much of a goofball for Megumi to take seriously. Besides the fact that they were also both his Senpais, it just wasn’t the same as opposed to Yuji.
There weren’t any stipulations with Yuji. It was just having a friend who was a guy. That’s what Megumi thought the dissonance was. The slight twinge he felt came from that and nothing else.
Although it was normally Nobara and them, as they got older they all seemed to branch out in different ways. They got closer to their upperclassmen. Nobara would go to Kyoto and spend time with the students there.
The fact that Megumi is Gojo and Geto’s adopted son, as well as Nanako and Mimiko’s adopted brother, was something that Nobara and Yuji didn’t initially know, which added an extra layer of closed-offness to Megumi’s already reserved demeanor. So once they found out, this swiftly faded away. Megumi felt even closer with them, as if that was even possible.
Their social circles and dynamics changed but their trio remained. Sometimes just a duo. Nobara went out more than either of them, and Megumi soon realized that it was a common occurrence to find him and Yuji by themselves. Together.
This was different too. Spending time alone. Just them.
Megumi never thought of himself as a jealous person, but he can’t deny that he enjoys having Yuji’s attention solely on him.
Sometimes he feels, strained almost, being in a setting with Yuji and not being able to have his eyes focused on him. This feeling was weird and exclusive to Yuji. Megumi didn’t think anything of it.
Their rooms are stupidly right next to each other, even though the dorms have so many rooms that never even come close to being filled up all the way. Gojo had Yuji’s room assigned next to Megumi’s, and even though either of them could have switched their room to move further away, they never have. Even after all this time.
Privacy is important, and Yuji seems to fail at understanding this sometimes, but then again, Megumi seems to have grown more lenient of Yuji’s behavior. Of how he’ll burst into his room, or invade his personal space, or so casually steal his food or offer Megumi a bit of his own— share utensils even— or how he’ll wear his clothes, or even sleep in his bed— sleep next to him in bed.
This is different too. Their rooms are side by side. They’re so close that Megumi can hear Yuji moving around or playing music or doing whatever sometimes. It’s because of this that Yuji will occasionally come over at night and just lay in his bed, when they’re both tired but can’t sleep, and after they’ve been going back and forth for a while texting and figure one of them should just come over.
Yuji always asks before Megumi even gets the chance. Megumi always says yes because, why would he ever say no?
They lay in bed and they just talk, far too late into the night. Yuji will stare at him and Megumi feels like he’s a ghost, as if Yuji’s looking through him, gazing at something behind him, because why is he looking at him so intently otherwise?
Megumi’s opened up to him on nights like these. Once again, different. He’s shared fears and dreams and embarrassing stories that he maybe felt too comfortable recounting at the time, but it’s Yuji, so of course he feels safe.
It’s not as if Nobara or some of the others haven’t heard similar things, but there’s a level of isolation, of intimacy, when it comes to just sharing them with Yuji that Megumi doesn’t find he feels with anyone else. And Yuji does the same thing, opening up to Megumi, once again, in a way that feels special or reserved.
Megumi’s familiar with this feeling of reciprocation. He knows that what he feels for his family, they also feel for him. Whatever has been brewing deep in chest regarding Yuji, he can tell that Yuji feels it too. Megumi’s always been able to tell. Yuji’s always been reciprocal. Since day one maybe.
Yuji grew up in front of a TV, no doubt why he has so many bad impressions from a large variety of things. Gojo’s fast track at Sorcery training was the thing to actually get him into film and movies though, turning him into a full blown geek on the subject.
He claims that he doesn’t like hoodies, although he’s seen wearing one over half of the time. He’s far too picky about food although he’ll eat anything.
Idiot. Straight up oxymoronic. Megumi likes this about him.
The first thing Yuji did when moving into the dorms was put up a poster of Jennifer Lawrence and he claims that it’s his type, although Megumi’s heard him say otherwise— random comments here and there about men.
Yuji doesn’t put a label on himself, maybe because such a thought doesn’t concern him heavily enough. Megumi likes this too. He’s the same when it comes to himself with labeling.
He likes taking note of Yuji’s room, how it’s changed over the years. What posters have stayed up and come down. He likes taking note of all his changes, subtle or not.
Yuji’s parents both died when he was far too young to remember either of them. Tragic and heartbreaking, yet Yuji isn’t sad about it. He almost can’t be. He doesn’t even remember them. He doesn’t dwell on the matter at all. He practically never talks about them. He does speak about his grandfather though, whose death it also seems like he doesn’t dwell on much, although it’s much different from that of his parents.
He seemed to have reached acceptance rather fast, although grief has a way of cycling back around. It’s incredibly admirable, how Yuji seems to deal with his grief. Megumi’s amazed by this.
He likes whenever Yuji mentions his grandfather, and he likes whenever Yuji takes him along to his grave for visits, and he likes being there for him.
Yuji gets depressed sometimes, in the way that Megumi thinks everyone can get depressed. Yuji shies away from it, tending to downplay or attempt to brush it off. It’s always been easy for Megumi to catch on though, whenever Yuji does this. Tries this.
He feels like he sees a side of Yuji that maybe Yuji doesn’t see in himself. Megumi will push him, and Yuji always caves with basically no fight at all. No resistance. Like he wants to get found out. Like he’s happy Megumi is the one to see through him. Like he sees something in Megumi too, that Megumi is unaware of.
Reciprocal. Megumi’s always felt like emotionally, they’ve been on the same page. Yuji and him are always on the same page. Period.
Yuji will cave, and he apologizes. He backtracks and admits how he feels— is honest. And Megumi tells him not to say sorry so much. He hates it, when he does. As if Yuji ever has to apologize for anything, especially how he feels.
It’s not as if Megumi doesn’t feel apologetic or not enough at times himself. In the same way he helps Yuji though, Yuji helps him.
He tells Yuji about his own biological parents. He tries to relate to him in a sense. He opens up more about living with Gojo and Geto and the twins, once that does come out. He recounts in detail about what it was like growing up so young while being aware of curses and Sorcery, since Yuji seems so interested, so invested in what he has to say.
His eyes do this cute thing when he’s excited. They almost glow, or dazzle. Megumi can’t put a name to it. Yuji’s pretty, Megumi’s known this. He likes admiring him, watching him, especially when no one else is around.
He thinks Yuji seems more relaxed in a more private setting. Something smaller or intimate. He thinks Yuji’s the most relaxed when it’s just the two of them. Just the two of them, alone.
“We had such different upbringings,” Yuji remarked before, laying in Megumi’s bed at night, gazing into him.
He said that and then glanced off to the side a little, sadly, before looking back at him. “I wish we had met each other before.” His all too bright smile easily came back. “I’m always hearing stories about you from when you were a kid.”
“You wouldn’t have liked me back then,” Megumi said, because it was true. It felt true. It probably isn’t— he knows it isn’t actually. “I didn’t like me.”
“I would like you,” Yuji smiled gently. “I’d like you no matter what, Fushiguro. You need to be easier on yourself. Past-you was just a kid. You’ve learned a lot now. I bet you wouldn’t want future-you to be looking back on present-you and saying you didn’t like him.”
“I don’t know, future-me would probably say that,” Megumi deadpanned.
“Will, probably say that,” Yuji laughed, shaking his head. Very pretty.
The conversation continued on from there but quickly became too meta, talking about the future and the past and the present. Their grammar mistakes were confusing.
Yuji made a Back to the Future reference, which Megumi should have seen coming. He laughed at himself for not anticipating it. He laughed even more from the stupidity of it.
Megumi knows he likes Yuji a lot. He’s known this. Megumi does know.
But, as the years went on, and as the world changed around them— but their world, peaceful and quiet, and filled with bickering, and movie marathons, and late night talks, and cooking lessons, and sparring, and inside jokes, and pointless debates, which are isolated from everyone else in some strange pure way that Megumi has always failed at pinpointing the clear reasoning of— Megumi’s mind was slowly (so agonizingly slow that it should be embarrassing that it’s taken him so long to see it at this point) coming to a conclusion. The conclusion to end all conclusions.
I like Itadori.
The thought wraps around him now, like a menacing hug.
I like Itadori… but not in the normal way.
This isn’t how Megumi feels about his sisters or Nobara or any of his other friends. This is something twisted and confusing and very very new deep in his soul. Maybe not new but… he wasn’t aware of it before…
I don’t like Itadori like I like the others.
Crush should be the correct word for it. Megumi doesn’t vividly picture this though. A crush is something you have on someone in the sense that you want to hold hands, and kiss, and do increasingly gross things with them.
Megumi’s never wanted to do anything to or with anyone. He’s never wanted anyone to do anything with or to him. This feeling that he has for Yuji, it goes deeper than something as plain as that ever could.
Megumi doesn’t mind the physical contact. Nobara treats him as a foot rest or chair like it’s nothing. His sisters have always done the same with him too.
Megumi doesn’t mind this aspect of just being touched in general. Although of course depending on who it is and the context, he will tend to feel a twinge of discomfort from his invasion of personal space.
Still, he doesn’t know why it doesn’t interest him, why the idea of someone kissing him sounds repulsive. But if it was Yuji… if it was Yuji… Megumi supposes that it would be alright. Maybe it would be okay… Once again, different. Megumi doesn’t know why Yuji is different— well, he didn’t know why he was, but—
I like him.
The reason is obvious and simple.
How long have I liked him for?
Megumi feels a little stupid. A bit feeble.
It’s not in a friendly way.
Is it romantic? Is it sexual? What does that really even mean? What would be the right word? The correct definition?
Megumi stays zoning out.
Nobara’s story finally comes to an end and Yuji is sighing out as his laughter ebbs away. His eyes lock on Megumi and that’s enough to get Megumi’s brain jogging again and send him back into reality.
“What?” Megumi asks, maybe too forcefully, feeling shaken up and on the spot.
Yuji’s eyebrows raise in slight surprise as he blinks, “Oh, I, I didn’t say anything, sorry.”
“Why’re you saying sorry?” Megumi’s eyebrow furrows.
Yuji’s an idiot. Megumi might have a crush on him, if you can call it that. If that’s what this is?
Yuji laughs as he scratches the back of his neck, a cute habit he’s had since their freshman year— and Megumi likes him. He might like him the most out of anyone he’s ever met.
“This game is stupid,” Maki groans, as she stands up, throwing the controller down.
Inumaki snickers as he signs something Megumi’s too spacey right now to catch.
“Hey! Those are expensive!” Mimiko whines.
“Fuck you,” Maki sneers at Inumaki, ignoring Mimiko. He smiles up at her. “Fight me for real if you’re so eager!”
“Ooooooohhhh,” Panda, Yuji, and the girls egg the two of them on. Megumi rolls his eyes, although he’s hardly paying attention, still swimming at the shore of his thoughts.
Everyone starts clambering to get up as Maki smiles triumphantly, as if she’s already won the fight, and she might as well have. You lose a fight with Maki the second the idea is even thrown out.
Nobara and the twins walk close behind her grinning, sharing in her undoubtedly soon victory, and Inumaki looks back at Panda and Yuji as he frowns, playing up his nervousness.
Wait, this isn’t fair. Yuji, tag in for me.
Yuji laughs as he signs back at him. Megumi doesn’t catch it, as he’s still sitting on the floor, lagging behind the rest of them significantly.
Inumaki groans dramatically at whatever Yuji says, and Panda pushes him along as he starts remarking how he should know better than to provoke Maki, which is a fair point.
Megumi’s not really looking at anything in particular as he’s staring off into space. Yuji’s hand comes into view in his peripheral vision and then Megumi’s gazing up at him.
Yuji’s holding his hand out for him, a stupidly endearing assist that isn’t needed, but Yuji’s just so himself like that.
His smile is stupidly endearing as well. It shines brighter than the sun. Staring into it burns hotter than a solar eclipse. Megumi feels like he needs glasses, something to protect his eyes.
He likes Yuji. Not in a normal way.
“Come on,” Yuji tilts his head, in gesture to the others.
Megumi hesitates before reaching his hand out and taking Yuji’s. He pulls him up to his feet and his smile remains, ever blinding and ever frightening as they go to catch up with the others.
Megumi has no idea what he’s feeling— what he feels... He thinks he’s fucked.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Megumi sits with his newfound thoughts for the rest of the day, and then annoyingly into the rest of the week, and they continue to plague him as it hits the weekend.
He likes Yuji.
This isn’t an alarming thing to think. This should be commonplace but it’s not. The context, the connotation, has changed. It’s shifted somehow.
Megumi doesn’t know when. He tries to think back, long and hard, on Yuji and his relationship, and he thinks that maybe he’s always been in denial about this.
Megumi knew Yuji was pretty but more so in the objective sense. It made him a little antsy when first hanging out with Nobara. He couldn’t pinpoint the emotion at the time, but dissecting it now, it was definitely fear, and possessiveness. Jealousy.
Megumi was worried that Nobara would see in Yuji what he undoubtedly has maybe always seen in him. The relief that washed over him upon learning that Nobara has no interest in men, should have been a more obvious hint for him than it was at the time.
Megumi cycles through his thoughts. He thinks he’s always had a pretty good memory but then, maybe his retention of events isn’t the problem, but it’s the lens at which he was looking through them.
Megumi doesn’t know if he wants to kiss Yuji at first… until he thinks about it. Seriously and steadily thinks about it, and— fuck. Megumi’s never wanted to kiss anyone before.
The invasion of his personal space that’d be needed for someone to get that close up to him is gross, and people kiss with their mouths open in the movies (although Megumi’s never seen such a vulgar kiss like that in real life) and it’s gross, and the idea of his spit mixing with someone else’s spit is gross, and people are gross, and every little detail about the idea is gross.
But Yuji is the exact opposite of something disgusting. He could probably make the most sinful acts look good, look holy, look warranted and pretty and right.
Megumi’s seen him with blood on his uniform— slimy curse residue that bleeds purple and stains terribly and gets everywhere, and— Yuji didn’t look any different. Megumi’s seen it get into his hair, slide down his chin and drip along his neck and— it’s never made Yuji look any less beautiful.
Megumi gets the strange thought that Yuji’s spit must taste good somehow. That his lips must feel nice to touch. This thought chases him until it bullies him into a corner.
It’s all he can think about— the potential of Yuji’s lips— not even Yuji’s lips touching his but just his lips, just his mouth. The pretty words that fall out. The stupid impressions that no one ever understands, but that he thinks he’s actually been picking up on. The light laughter that creeps into Megumi’s soul.
Itadori must taste good. He has to.
Megumi doesn’t know what this thought means, what any of these thoughts mean.
When Nobara asks who’s up to getting drunk with her, Megumi is uncharacteristically the first one to agree. Everyone stares at him for a moment, equally taken aback.
They’re all cheering in the next moment though, crowding around him and happily remarking how he never wants to have fun, or, usually needs heavy coercion to agree, and it’s very true. Not the “not having fun” part but the needing coercion into getting drunk with them part.
Megumi can’t help it. He thinks stupidly that being inebriated will help make the strange thoughts about Yuji go away, if only temporarily. But apparently, getting drunk is the last thing he should do.
It doesn’t take many swigs of whatever suspicious concoction Inumaki’s put together for Megumi’s feet to start swaying on the floor. He might be a bit of a light weight, something that the others claim he’s inherited from Gojo, which should be funny since they aren’t blood related and thus this makes no logical sense.
But it’s because it doesn't make any logical sense that Megumi gets pissed off by such a comment. People are always saying he gets this or that from his dads when that just doesn’t correlate.
He endures more teasing from his friends for a while before he’s somehow walking down the hall in the dorms with Yuji and heading towards their rooms.
This is normal. Their rooms are right beside each other. Their shoulders bump as they reach one of their doors. Megumi isn’t even certain whose room they’re in as they stumble inside.
He flops on the bed quickly and then figures this is Yuji’s room after taking a quick look around. Yuji lands onto the bed beside him and turns on his side as he gazes into him.
Drinking was definitely a bad idea. Megumi’s eyes flicker between Yuji’s eyes and his lips, and he’s far too incoherent to even wish for Yuji not to notice, but thankfully he doesn’t.
His blinks feel one too many seconds apart from each other as he watches Yuji’s lips move fluidly, not at all picking up on what he’s saying.
Yuji licks his lips quickly before continuing on and Megumi feels something twinge inside of him and he thinks he’s going to be sick.
He gags like he might throw up and then Yuji’s lips pause as he stares into him with slight concern. Megumi tries to refute the undoubtedly obvious expression on Yuji’s face, clearly believing that he’s going to throw up, but as he shakes his head and attempts to mumble out a response, the ache throughout his body only worsens.
Yuji hurriedly helps him over to the bathroom and Megumi feels so embarrassed he wants to die as he hunches over the sink and coughs. Yuji’s right behind him patting his back. Megumi curses at no one in particular and finally starts to feel something coming up and out of his throat.
Even as he’s puking, shaking uncontrollably over Yuji’s sink, all he can think of is that even the bile in Yuji’s stomach must smell like roses, must taste sweet somehow, must still look pretty.
There’s something very wrong here. Megumi likes Yuji, not in the normal way. The thoughts get worse and worse as the days go on.
Megumi can’t focus if Yuji’s around. He enters a room and Megumi’s senses fail him instantly. All his judgement runs around in uncoordinated circles, and he reacts in increasingly poor ways and in increasingly important situations.
Yuji will ask him a simple question. Something about the weather or what he’s going to eat later or just about his day, and Megumi will snap at him— He doesn’t mean for it to happen. He doesn’t know why this is his body’s reaction to what he’s feeling.
Ijichi will be going over something pertaining to a mission and Megumi will groan and roll his eyes and not be able to help but call out a small oversight Ijichi’s made, something honestly minimal and that Megumi could definitely be nicer about, but he feels so prickly.
He doesn’t know how to shut this off. Like he’s broken. And the look of pure guilt on Ijichi’s face should be enough to give Megumi a factory reset. Ijichi already gets enough shit from Gojo every hour on the hour, but Megumi can’t even find that he feels bad about it.
Inumaki’s pranks are more annoying than usual. Nanako’s spamming of ridiculous videos is more grating than normal. Nobara’s insistence over someone carrying her bags when they tag along shopping with her, leaves Megumi grimacing and imagining taking them and hitting her over the head with them.
He takes his emotions out on curses, during sparring, and while training. Maki says that he’s got more fire in his eyes. This just pisses him off even more. He can’t handle this.
He thinks the truth is going to burst out of his chest— that he likes Yuji, that he doesn’t feel normally about him— still friendly, although Megumi doesn’t really know how to form the explanation correctly in his mind.
Yuji is his friend, and he wants them to stay friends. He doesn’t want any more from him than what they already have. He doesn’t want Yuji to spend more time with anyone else though, or even divvy up the smallest fraction of his attention on Megumi to someone other than himself.
Megumi wants things to stay exactly the same, he thinks, but he doesn’t believe this is possible. He likes Yuji, and him not knowing how to handle this is eating away at his soul.
Similarly to the thought itself, arising suddenly and abruptly and without any warning at all, the words somehow escape from his mouth and out into the real world.
“Itadori.”
Yuji cranes his head with a hum, looking over at him curiously.
“Fushiguro?”
They’re sitting on a hill overlooking one of the many fields in Jujutsu High. They’re supposed to be waiting for Nobara and maybe a few of their other friends. They’re all supposed to go out into the city and do something together, seeing as they have the spare time.
The sun is going to set soon. The sky is a nice mix of orange and uncertainty, and Megumi can’t not say anything anymore. He doesn’t know how to stop himself.
He stares into Yuji, and Yuji’s staring back at him, wearing one of his hoodies that he claims he doesn’t like all that much. Megumi’s eyes flit around his face and he can’t help but notice the roundness of his cheeks, and how soft his eyes are, and how perfectly imperfect his hair is as it frames around his ears.
Megumi thinks he’s about to say it but then something stops him— his worries, his concerns, his insecurities. His gaze continues scanning all across Yuji though, and his mind softens.
Yuji is everything that Megumi has ever wanted. Warmth. A sense of content. A friend. Someone who won’t settle, and will actually fight for what they believe in. Someone strong, and capable, and good. So much so that it leaves Megumi’s mouth agape at times.
Someone beautiful and familiar and just— Yuji is everything good. He’s everything good and Megumi can’t even think of a way to describe it because there’s simply nothing good enough to encapsulate it.
Yuji is sunshine and a clear sky. Your favorite weather, your favorite anything. Megumi’s favorite, maybe, and Yuji might not think the same of Megumi, and that’s okay.
He likes Yuji so much, so so much that it’d kind of feel impossible to think that anyone could ever feel the same way— feel what Megumi feels at this same level.
He knows Yuji likes him, regardless of everything. His fears and worries and hesitation. The words flow out, and it feels so easy. Megumi should be surprised at himself, but he’s not. His mind is blank, a void of nothing but Yuji.
“I like you.”
The words hang there in the space around them and Yuji blinks at him, his lips parting slightly. Megumi thinks Yuji’s lips would taste good. He thinks Yuji’s lips are the only lips in the whole world that’d taste good— that are appealing.
“... I know,” Yuji says, smiling faintly, voice soft and sweet and— Yuji’s stupid. Megumi doesn’t know how he manages to reiterate himself but it’s easy somehow.
“No,” he shakes his head. “You’re not understanding me.” He looks away for a moment as he pauses, before bringing his gaze back to him. “... I like you, Itadori.”
“I know,” Yuji says again, a beautiful idiot. His smile is deepening, and Megumi feels dizzy staring into him this way. This would be easier if Yuji wasn’t Yuji.
“No, you idiot,” Megumi says, somehow keeping his tone calm. “I like you… don’t make me explain it.” He looks away from him again, out over the field and up a little at the sun slowly descending.
“Fushiguro…” Yuji shakes his head. He sounds, amused almost, like he’s holding back a laugh.
Megumi glances at him and Yuji’s smile has only gotten prettier as he’s started blushing. If Megumi wasn’t flushing slightly himself already, he definitely is now.
He looks away from him again but then feels inclined to keep staring at him so he does, and Yuji’s eyes aren’t on him anymore but now on the view.
Megumi focuses on his expression, desperately trying to read his mind and not understanding what he thinks he understands. Yuji’s blush pools so nicely across his cheeks, and Megumi feels like he’s lost in a trance or a dream as he admires him.
“I know,” Yuji says again, softer than before, eyes still ahead. “I’m not that stupid, you know.”
His voice is gentle, that light cadence that makes Megumi think he’s going to laugh, but still he doesn’t. Whatever this tone is, has something sweet and ripe lacing throughout it, and Megumi doesn’t know if he’s ever been aware of Yuji’s voice blossoming open like this before.
Yuji’s gaze returns to Megumi and they stare into each other again. Megumi feels too close to him, although they are sitting a fair amount away from each other. Yuji’s eyes are like syrup. Megumi feels stuck to them— stuck to Yuji. He could stay sitting here, looking into him, forever.
“I like you, Fushiguro,” Yuji says, breathy like a whisper. “I like you…”
Megumi’s head tilts slightly as Yuji’s words seep into his skin. His gaze slips past Yuji’s face and onto the grass and his brows furrow as he thinks everything over.
…Yuji understands what he means. Yuji always does… Yuji’s saying that he likes him as well. He wouldn’t lie about that. Megumi’s never seen this look in Yuji’s eyes. He’s never heard this warmth in Yuji’s voice… Megumi looks back into Yuji’s expression. Yuji’s smiling at him sweetly.
Yuji knows what he means. Yuji knows what he means in saying this to Megumi. Yuji knows what Megumi means by him saying this to him.
Yuji likes him… Megumi knows it can’t be to the same degree, but this is to be expected. This is the same. This is not different. This is no surprise. Yuji would be sweet about Megumi’s words no matter how he felt in return, but this… this…
“Fushiguro,” Yuji says gently. It almost sounds like a question. His smile wobbles a little. He glances to the side and quickly looks back. “... Say something…”
Megumi’s mind sputters. He doesn’t know what to think exactly. This should maybe come as a shock to him, that Yuji could feel this way about him, but Megumi’s had this phenomena be explained to him before. He’s felt a similar form of reciprocation in regards to his family, his dads and his sisters.
What he feels for Yuji is so strong, it only makes sense to think that Yuji would feel it too somehow, in some way, in some manner. It only seems logical that Yuji likes him too, to whatever extent that is. To an equal extent would be a greedy wish.
Megumi feels a little stiff now, not knowing what to say now that he’s said this much. He didn’t really think this through. The words left his mouth without his permission almost.
There was no plan or cohesion. He didn’t wake up this morning expecting himself to tell Yuji. He definitely didn’t wake up thinking that Yuji would say the same thing back to him.
“Fuck,” Megumi mutters, looking away. Yuji tilts his head even further, perhaps not hearing him. Hopefully not hearing him.
Megumi feels Nobara’s chaotic energy rolling towards them, casually drifting in their direction. He feels even more stiff then and finds that he’s standing up and brushing the grass off his pants before swiftly making a run for it down the hill.
“Fushiguro, hey!” Yuji stands as well and reaches his hand out for him, although he doesn’t actually run to try and stop him or catch up.
Megumi sighs out, feeling grateful. He doesn’t know why his first instinct is to run, especially since the person he’s running from is Yuji, and Yuji is terrifyingly fast. He runs though. It’s the only thing that makes sense now.
He scrambles down the hill and through the trees and back onto the flatter grounds of the school and through the quad and past random staff and then even faster, through various buildings and up a few stairs and further and further until he can’t make out either Nobara or Yuji’s energy— until he reaches the refuge of his dorm.
Although, thinking he’s safe in his room should be a stupid thought, seeing as Yuji’s room is right beside his. He knows Yuji would come find him no matter how far apart their rooms are, but having them side by side is just mean, is just straight up unfair.
This is Gojo’s fault. Megumi curses to himself as he runs his hands over his face.
Yuji must have dimmed his cursed energy by the time he makes it over to the dorms, because Megumi doesn’t notice him until he’s pushing his door open.
“Fushiguro!”
“What’re you doing?” Megumi’s voice raises as he looks over his shoulder at him.
“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?” Yuji laughs a little. He closes the door behind himself as he steps into the room.
Megumi looks away from him, walking further inside as well, heading towards the edge of his bed and sitting down there, trying to keep some space between them.
Yuji doesn’t take the hint. He often doesn’t. He comes far too close to him, making it all the way over to the bed as well, but stopping once he reaches the opposite end of it.
He doesn’t sit, instead just standing beside it and leaving Megumi feeling even smaller than he normally does to him in comparison. He has to crane his neck to look up at his face. He misses when Yuji was shorter than him.
“Why’d you run away?” Yuji asks, face so oblivious that Megumi wants to punch him, or maybe press his fingers to his lips.
“We were talking…” Yuji says, tone a bit softer, glancing away. He scratches at the back of his neck and Megumi’s eyes follow the motion.
Yuji seems nervous. His cursed energy’s fluctuating strangely. He starts fidgeting with his sleeve once he takes his hand back from his neck. His eyebrows are slanting and his gaze is on the floor. Megumi stares into his expression, astonished for a second before defaulting and simply feeling confused.
“What?” he blinks.
“We were, talking,” Yuji says, sounding cutely unsure. “I, I feel like we both had a lot more that we wanted to say to each other…”
Do they both have a lot more that they want to say? Megumi feels like his thoughts got across quite fluidly.
He likes Yuji and that’s the end of the story. There isn’t any more to add. Even just that statement alone isn’t anything special. In a way, Yuji should have known this— He did say that he knew it.
What on earth could that mean? Yuji says that he likes Megumi also. Megumi should have known this too. He wants to believe that he did know this, but he’s only just discovered his own feelings for Yuji so recently. He’s been in denial about them for maybe forever, so who knows what else he’s possibly missing.
“I said everything that I needed to say,” Megumi says, sounding much more grounded than Yuji, who can’t stop fidgeting. “... Was there, something else that you needed to say?”
Megumi stares into his eyes, that aren’t focused on him as if they can’t be— as if it’s too much of a strain.
Even them standing this far is too close. Megumi felt like Yuji’s gaze would suck him in before. He thinks he could drown in Yuji’s eyes, and this is another new thing that he thinks doesn’t sound bad at all.
As long as it’s Yuji, Megumi thinks he’d be alright with anything. Yuji turns everything to gold, makes disgusting things seem appealing in Megumi’s head. Makes stupid, nonsensical things, make sense. Seem interesting.
“I,” Yuji starts but he pauses. He purses his lips and scratches at his neck again.
“Well,” another pause. His eyes finally return to Megumi and he blushes before looking away again, like he didn’t expect Megumi to have been looking at him already.
“... I’m sorry, I just,” he pauses. “You make me really fucking nervous, Fushiguro, I’m sorry,” he smiles faintly.
“You don’t have to say sorry so much,” Megumi tells him. “I don’t like it when you do.”
Yuji often apologizes for things that he shouldn’t and doesn’t have to apologize for. Megumi doesn’t like it. Yuji’s perfect. He never has to apologize for anything.
Yuji’s lips part like he’s going to say sorry again, but he stops himself. “Right,” he nods a little. He takes a bit more time with his words, formulating his thoughts.
Megumi’s once again surprised at himself, surprised at how calm he feels. He thinks any other person in this scenario would be freaking out, but it’s not a big shock, Yuji’s feelings for him.
It’s almost as if Megumi did know without knowing. Yuji maybe wouldn’t have even needed to say it for Megumi to eventually figure it out on his own. He knows Yuji better than anyone. He thinks he can read his mind.
“... I like you,” Yuji says, eyes flitting back to him.
“... I know,” Megumi says. Their roles feel reversed somehow.
Megumi feels all the pieces sliding into place. He thinks it must be nonsensical, for him to like Yuji so much in this way and for Yuji to not like him back.
Geto had told him before that when it comes to these things, you just know. It’s as simple and as terrifying as that, just knowing.
Megumi knows so much about Yuji already. He wants to just know everything that there is to know about him. He should have known about this. It feels obvious now. Megumi thinks it doesn’t even need explaining, but it seems like Yuji wants to do some elaboration.
“I’m not sure when I realized. I’m not sure when it started but…” Yuji’s words trail off sweetly as he stares into him. “... I like you so much, Fushiguro.” He looks away again, smiling strangely. “You have no idea how scared I am, that you like me back.”
“Scared?” Megumi’s eyebrows crease a little.
“Yeah,” Yuji says, breathy. “You’re really scary, and intimidating, and…” Yuji’s eyes return to him and his smile settles back into something more certain. “...and I’m scared of how happy you make me feel…”
Megumi gazes back at Yuji, blinking stupidly, feeling floaty, like when he’s drunk. He notices how fast his heart is beating in his chest, and he thinks to touch his fingers somewhere on his body to find his pulse, as if to check that he’s alive and that this is indeed happening.
His fingers tremble along the veins in his wrist and he doesn’t even register the motion. He just looks into Yuji and feels all the tension he’s been carrying for these past several days, swiftly wane away. Something strong and sudden and healing, like a visit to Shoko’s office.
“I’m scared of that too,” Megumi says, feeling extremely vulnerable and honest.
He’s shown Yuji his heart before. Bestowed it in front of him multiple times. Opening up, telling embarrassing stories, seeking solace, just needing a shoulder to lean on.
None of those times feel like anything akin to this though. Different. Megumi doesn’t think he can stomach it. He might throw up in a good way. He doesn’t think he can handle this.
“Fushiguro…” Yuji takes a step closer to him towards the bed. He sits down on the edge as well and the weight shifts ever so slightly.
They both stare at each other, heads tilting towards one another subtly. There’s still the whole length of the bed in between them. Megumi likes it but doesn’t at the same time. Sitting this close is still too far.
“Fushiguro… what does this mean?”
“What do you want it to mean?” Megumi throws the question back at him easily, not knowing at all how to answer it himself.
“I, I don’t know.” Yuji shakes his head at himself. “I—I do know.” He glances away. “I’m nervous.”
Do I really make you nervous?
This feels so different. Megumi doesn’t know what to think.
“You can tell me,” Megumi nods. Both of their voices are faint, like they’re whispering although there’s no point to.
Yuji’s eyes return to him and there’s a fear laced into a warm tenderness that Megumi can’t look away from.
“... If we both like each other… does this mean we’re dating now?” Yuji asks, unsure. Confused? Hopeful.
“Is that what you want it to mean?” Megumi asks, purely curious.
Yuji’s lips press firmly together and his eyebrows crease before relaxing again. He’s nervous. Megumi makes him nervous.
“... Y—Yeah.”
Megumi’s eyes widen a little, not exactly expecting such a fast, blunt answer.
“Of course,” Yuji smiles. “Of course I do.”
Megumi feels his pulse thrumming unsteadily under his fingers. He looks down and away from Yuji, feeling inferior somehow. Feeling wrong. Not normal. Weird.
Yuji can pick up on such a thought. He turns his head more, trying to catch Megumi’s gaze, and he does. He smiles gently, that perfect smile that tells Megumi he’s not all the terrible things he’s either currently thinking or about to start thinking. Megumi’s mind relaxes a little, but he still feels apprehensive.
“You don’t want to,” Yuji concludes. He can read his mind.
“It’s not that I don’t,” Megumi quickly refutes. He doesn’t want to hurt Yuji’s feelings, not in any way ever— not at all.
“It’s not that I don’t, I just…” Megumi doesn’t know how to explain— where to start.
Yuji stares into him, patiently waiting for his thoughts to form. Megumi sighs to himself, frowning at the idea that he’s making Yuji anxious or worried about this. Making Yuji anything other than happy is the last thing that he wants.
“... I’ve never felt like this. Towards anyone. …I’m not like you.”
Megumi knows he’s a bit different. He’s always been different in a plethora of ways. It’s a bit morbidly funny to him that you can take your pick of just what about him makes him so different and the various options span across different topics and generally have nothing to do with each other.
When he was younger, other kids his age always annoyingly went on about their crushes. Even Nanako, Mimiko, and Tsumiki would remark how this classmate or that one was cute sometimes.
It just got worse as he got into junior high. PDA is something Megumi hasn’t seen the full extent of, but even just seeing people holding hands or cuddling makes him roll his eyes.
Seeing people confess to others and give out love letters and candy is embarrassing. He doesn’t think anyone’s ever taken an interest in him in this way, but his family all claims that he gets hit on often. If Megumi truly is blind to this, he couldn’t care less. He’s never cared for any of it.
Any aspect of dating has never been appealing to him. He knows he’s never felt compelled towards any person in this way at all… but Yuji is different. A part of Megumi thinks he doesn’t want these feelings. They’re too new and too foreign and he doesn’t know how to navigate them.
Yuji’s had crushes before and he seems to easily find people attractive like everyone else does. The way Megumi feels about Yuji is different from the way he’s ever felt and will probably ever feel about anyone ever again. Megumi’s certain.
No one can be Yuji. No one can compare. No one else could ever replace him. If the sun imploded, was somehow obliterated, the whole solar system would freeze over. Megumi will die if Yuji leaves his orbit.
There’s no point in even imagining anyone else potentially taking his place. It’s not even viable, not even possible in the slightest. And Megumi’s scared of that, and so much more. He wants everything to stay exactly as it is. He just wants things to remain the same.
“I know,” Yuji says, voice quiet.
Megumi risks a glance at him and Yuji’s gaze sears into his.
Yuji might be the sun, a solar eclipse. Something too overpowering and bright for Megumi to be able to withstand.
“I know how you feel but…” Yuji’s words trail off as his eyes shift onto the floor. “...but I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. Not ever…”
Megumi’s pulse thrums under his fingers. He blinks a few times, feeling too much all at once. His skin is twitchy, like he’s itchy but he isn’t. It’s like his bones are trembling, moving his flesh around slightly.
“You’re different, Fushiguro…” Yuji’s eyes return to him. Megumi can’t handle the look in his gaze— the gentleness of his voice.
“I like you so much it hurts,” he almost laughs. “It’s physically grating,” his smile wobbles. “... You’ve got to know that…”
Megumi stares into him for a moment, not many thoughts ringing through his brain. He looks away from him and hums to himself.
Yuji likes him, he should have known this. Megumi likes Yuji, and it’s so fucking painful. He can’t imagine that it’s the same exact feeling that Yuji’s trying to describe. Still though, this doesn’t change the facts here.
“I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a boyfriend.” I hardly feel like I know the first thing about existing correctly at all. “If we started dating…” Megumi’s words trail off, as he doesn’t know how to get the rest of his thoughts out. He digresses, giving up and moving on. He shakes his head.
“I didn’t tell you that I like you, for any reason other than just to tell you… I don’t want anything to change.”
“Nothing has to,” Yuji perks up a little, voice still faint. “Nothing has to change, Fushiguro.”
“Won’t it?” Megumi’s fingers tremble on his pulse. “Won’t everything?”
“It doesn’t have to,” he shakes his head. “We don’t have to do what other couples do… we don’t have to be anything other than just us,” he shrugs.
“Us dating doesn’t have to mean anything other than that. Other than that we’re together, you know? Other than that we like each other, and only each other. Right?”
Megumi’s eyebrow twitches as he looks into him, as the idea of anyone else infiltrating what they have— whatever you could call this, this feeling between them.
“Of course.”
“Yeah,” Yuji nods. “So…” He glances away for a short second. “Nothing has to change, Fushiguro.”
Megumi shakes his head lightly as he tries to think this all over. Yuji is sweet and maybe a little too trigger happy at times, and while it is a happy thought, that they both like each other in this way, whatever that means, Megumi doesn’t know if this is the best idea.
Even if they give whatever this is its own name and label… even if they don’t… how can things actually remain the same? How can nothing actually change?
“Relationships are a give and take, Itadori…”
And I don’t have anything to give you, Megumi thinks to say.
And I don’t want to take anything from you either. Now that thought might not be entirely true.
“Every relationship is,” Yuji smiles. “That wouldn’t be anything new or different.”
“What I mean is,” Megumi pauses, shaking his head again. “What I mean is, you’ll want to ask stuff of me, it’s inevitable.” He stares into him, not letting his words waiver. “If we’re dating, I’ll have certain expectations, we both will.”
Yuji stares back at him, a similar intensity in his eyes, yet too glazed over by anticipation. Yuji tends to look at things through rose colored glasses. Megumi thinks he can be a little ignorant in this department. A little slow.
“And I don’t want that stigma,” Megumi frowns, feeling like he’s being too honest. “I don’t want anything to be different.”
Yuji just looks back at him for a moment, with that dopey expression on his face. He tilts his head a little and his smile deepens. “... Then it doesn’t have to be. It won’t be.”
“Itadori,” he sighs.
I would never ask that of you.
He feels like Yuji isn’t hearing him again, like before on the hill. But even then, Yuji did hear him. Megumi was the one lagging behind somehow. Maybe he’s still doing that same thing even now? Is he the one missing something here?
“Fushiguro,” Yuji mimics him, saying his name as well. “... I like you so much.”
Megumi blushes as he purses his lips, looking away from him.
“We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do,” Yuji tells him. “We don’t have to be anything different from what we are now… I just want us both to know that, that we do like each other, and that we only like each other.”
Yuji’s words hang in the air and fall down upon Megumi like a subtle breeze, calming and reassuring, and Megumi’s shaking a little, as his heart beats annoyingly fast.
“Is that what dating means?”
“It can mean whatever we want it to mean,” Yuji smiles. “Our relationship is ours.”
Ours. That word splinters Megumi in two for some reason.
“If it’s too much or, or you just really hate the idea then… then that’s okay—”
“Itadori, I,” Megumi pauses. He takes a short breath.
He doesn’t know what these feelings are, how to navigate them or explain them, or basically how to do anything with them. He knows what he doesn’t want more than anything. He isn’t quite sure of what he does want. Thinking of the opposite and comparing and contrasting though…
Megumi wants what they already have. Yuji and him watching movies and playing games. Yuji over analyzing their plots and going on rants about the directors. Yuji whining about losing and demanding another round, and Megumi rolling his eyes and indulging him. Yuji showing him different recipes and Megumi slowly picking up on things. Sharing meals together, talking for hours, just enjoying each other’s company.
Megumi likes them being friends. He’s never had a friend like Yuji before. You don’t wish for a friend’s attention in the way he wishes for Yuji’s though. You’re not allowed to get jealous or feel ignored. Megumi doesn’t think so anyway. It’s not normal, he thinks.
If he and Yuji are “dating”, then this is something that will change. Megumi thinks he could be fine with a few changes.
He wants Yuji’s attention. He shouldn’t be greedy. He shouldn’t feel entitled. Yuji makes him feel so many things he never has before though. Megumi can’t help it.
If them dating means there won’t be someone else, then Megumi doesn’t have to worry about the terrifying potential of being pushed out or even replaced… then that could be okay. The rest is still up for heavy debate, but… but that could be okay.
“... You promise nothing has to change?”
“I promise, Fushiguro,” Yuji nods.
“You mean it?”
“I swear it.”
“Seriously.” Megumi stares into him sternly.
He doesn’t know how to properly get his worries across. Yuji’s gaze is as soft and as sweet as ever though. He always knows what Megumi means, even if Megumi doesn’t know himself.
“I promise,” he smiles, too resolute, too good to lie.
Megumi looks down, blushing, feeling like his face is on fire. He wants to crawl into a shadow and hide maybe. He wants to press his fingers to Yuji’s lips and ask, ask if that’s okay, maybe. Ask if that’s something that can change, even though he just said he doesn’t want anything to. Even though he’s just made Yuji promise him that nothing will.
He shakes his head at himself, grimacing a little. He feels like he’s trapped himself in this web of his emotions. He isn’t sure what he wants. He knows that something is pulling, tearing in his heart almost. For Yuji, always for Yuji. This feeling that he gets deep in his chest strains solely for him.
He can’t settle on his thoughts, so he gives up, resigning to attempt weeding through them for a later moment.
“... Okay.” The word falls out of his throat, shaky but not unsure. “Then… yeah.”
“Yeah?” Yuji sounds a bit shaky himself. He’s blushing, and the sunlight bleeds through the curtains, leaving the room mostly dark, if not for a subtle orange glow casting over the side of the wall in front of them.
“Yeah,” Megumi breathes.
He can see Yuji’s eyes reflecting the beam of the sunset, and it’s the perfect color he thinks— matching, accentuating Yuji’s face well.
“Soo… we’re dating now?”
“I guess,” Megumi says, maybe too noncommittal. He easily picks up on the slight pain in Yuji’s expression as his lips press together. Megumi frowns, he backpedals. “Yes. We’re dating,” he nods, resolute. Yuji’s smile returns to him and Megumi feels his heart drop— his pulse quicken.
“Cool.” His smile is too wide. Far far too pretty.
No one should be allowed to look like this. It just isn’t fair. This contradicts everything Megumi thought he knew about himself, about the way his brain works.
He can’t have a crush on Yuji, he doesn’t get crushes, never has… He can’t deny how beautiful Yuji’s face is though, or the fact that he could get lost staring at him forever. How if that was a fate he was reduced to, reduced wouldn’t even be the correct word for it. It would be an honor. Megumi would be grateful. Yuji’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“Sooo, I can call you my boyfriend?” Yuji’s voice trembles. Nervous. Cute. Terribly cute and Megumi doesn’t think he knows how to handle this, this feeling.
Sometimes Yuji acts in a way that leaves Megumi wanting to rip something to shreds. The way his voice can rise and fall. The way his laughter bounces around a room. Yuji is just so himself that sometimes Megumi feels sick with it, like he needs to kick his ass. Like he needs to crush something under his hands.
Yuji’s too pretty to fight though. Too lovable to take your emotions out on. Although since these strange feelings are arising in Megumi because of him, it’s a little difficult to not want to grip Yuji tightly by the front of his clothes and shove him up against something, to thrash him around, shake him, like that will make whatever this is inside of him go away.
“I,” Megumi pauses, feeling too many things at once. “I don’t,” another pause. He presses into his wrist more. His pulse is abundantly clear to him. This is real and happening.
“...I don’t want anyone to know.” His brain stutters, afraid that he’ll hurt Yuji’s feelings again. “Not yet.” The thought of yet is bone chilling. But nothing’s changing between them, right? So it shouldn’t be scary. Megumi’s being stupid. “... I don’t think.”
“That’s okay,” Yuji nods. It feels simple. Is it simple? Megumi doesn’t know what’s happening. “We won’t tell anyone just yet then.”
“Okay…”
“But, I can call you my boyfriend, like, when it’s just us? Like, right now?”
Megumi’s soul feels as if it’s trembling. He can’t bring himself to look at Yuji although he tries. He tries to will himself to glance up at him. He just can’t. He’s too embarrassed.
“... Yeah. Okay.”
“Okay,” Yuji nods.
A beat of silence goes on and Megumi still can’t look at him. He knows he must be blushing like crazy, which only makes this whole scenario more embarrassing for him. He would be hiding his face in the collar of his shirt but he can’t seem to move his fingers from his pulse, the same way he can’t move his head over to meet Yuji’s gaze.
“Um… Fushiguro?”
“Yes?” Megumi doesn’t look at him.
“I, um…” Yuji pauses and the momentary silence feels heavy with something. “There is, well… one other thing that I do um… that I do want to ask you about.”
Megumi groans severely. “I fucking knew it.”
“No, no, hear me out, I promise,” Yuji tries to defend himself, throwing his hands up.
“I was only going to ask if— to ask if I could— if we— if we both can— can um,” Yuji sputters, falling over his words in a way that should maybe be embarrassing if not amusing, but Megumi doesn’t think of it this way. Yuji’s just adorable in his mind. Adorable in the way that makes you want to kill something. His soul twitches.
“If—” Yuji stops himself, sighing and ruffling his hair, seemingly arranging his thoughts better, clearer. “... If we can use each other’s first names now… that we're, you know, dating.”
“Oh,” Megumi says, doesn’t mean to say— purely his baseline reaction, just off instinct. He looks into Yuji’s expression and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen him smiling in the way he is right now.
“If you totally hate it, then we don’t have to…” his words trail off, although they feel finished.
Megumi should be annoyed at Yuji for saying this at all. He just said nothing will change. He promised so much. But Megumi thinks he’s a bit of a hypocrite himself. He doesn’t understand anything about the string of thoughts flooding through his brain lately. He thinks the only take away here is that he wants Yuji, in the most primitive, simplistic, pathetic way.
No stipulations, no ulterior motives. No following remarks or added lines. Megumi wants Yuji. That’s all. Whatever this means, whatever this could entail, Megumi doesn’t know. If Yuji wants him too, then Megumi can understand— can relate in this feeling. Can relate in this active ignorance of their previous words. Can relate in this hypocrisy. Can indulge in this uncertainty, yet steadiness.
“... Okay,” he says, softer than a whisper.
“Okay?” Yuji’s eyes shine with something new. Different.
“Yeah,” Megumi nods slightly.
“Yeah?” Yuji’s blush spreads beautifully.
“Yeah, lets—” Megumi pauses, holding himself back, not knowing what he’s saying or how he’s not passing out from the reality in front of him. He hardens his resolve. He lets himself be brave. “... We can do that…” He takes a shaky breath in and then out. He lets himself…
“Yuji.”
Yuji smiles sweetly. Megumi has to hold himself back again, from saying his name once more.
He likes the way the characters feel around his tongue. He thinks he likes having Yuji’s name inside his mouth. He thinks he wants to hold it there, keep it, forever. Keep Yuji forever, in his room, right here on his bed, maybe.
“Okay,” Yuji nods, smiling as wide as Megumi thinks is possible for a person to smile. “That makes me happy…”
Yuji’s words drift off. Megumi can anticipate what he’s thinking. It’s not that Yuji’s predictable, not in the slightest. Megumi just knows him too well.
“Really really happy, Megumi.” Megumi twitches a little. Winces almost, from hearing the way Yuji says his name.
“You know I’ve, I’ve always loved your name,” Yuji almost laughs, smiling too much.
“I’ve always hated it.” The words leave Megumi’s mouth on their own almost, so terribly true that it’s not even a thought to admit it.
“It’s so cute,” Yuji blushes.
“It’s girly,” Megumi shakes his head.
“It suits you,” Yuji giggles lightly. “Not because it’s feminine but because, you know, the kanji.”
Megumi looks into Yuji, a bit confused, raising an eyebrow. Yuji gives him a softer look of confusion back, still smiling too prettily.
“…A blessing?” Yuji notes.
Megumi’s face flushes, shaking ever so slightly.
Yuji doesn’t know what he’s talking about. The name Megumi should mean nothing important at all, seeing as his father no doubt gave him the name without any regard for him.
It’s like a sick joke. A reminder of his indifference and lack of care for Megumi, that he’d give him such a name. That he’d leave him branded with something so embarrassing for his whole life.
“Even if you were to change the kanji or the hiragana,” Yuji begins, words trailing off as if in thought, like he’s spelling out Megumi’s name in his mind in the various ways there are of spelling it.
“I think each way would suit you, but this kanji, with the way it is spelled…” he shifts on the bed slightly, turning towards Megumi a little more.
“I think it’s perfect for you, Megumi.”
Megumi can’t pull his eyes away from Yuji’s face. His mouth goes agape a little.
There was no thought put into Megumi having this name, this he knows. Having to exist with it has been a burden, but a lighter one in comparison to the long list of other troubles he’s had to carry.
Hearing Yuji say it now though… hearing Yuji address him in such a way— the warmth of his voice wafting over Megumi like the sun— his intonation, caressing the name and not spewing it out like a curse or something bad, but something amazing, like the meaning behind it does correlate, like Megumi having such a name was intentional and well thought out and…
“Sh—Shut up, Itadori,” Megumi stutters, looking away, blushing to a humiliating degree. He catches his sudden mistake and notes that his pulse has not relaxed at all if not only gotten faster. “... Y—Yuji.”
He likes Yuji’s name in his mouth. He likes the kanji for it too. He wants to write it down all over his room, all over his body. He wants it to bleed, seep down into his skin. He likes having Yuji’s name in his mouth. He thinks he likes having his in Yuji’s too.
“You’re cute, Megumi.”
Megumi closes his eyes, too overwhelmed. Yuji saying his name is like a direct hit to his soul. A weird sort of resonance even more powerful than Nobara’s Technique. If that’s actually at all possible.
Megumi’s shaking. Perhaps their names falling out of each other’s mouths and into each other’s ears are a type of curse all on their own. A good curse, although still deathly.
“I’m sorry,” Yuji says, after maybe a minute of silence. “I’ve got one other request.”
“Of course you do,” Megumi sighs, although a part of him feels relieved.
He wants things to remain the same. That’s what he keeps thinking— keeps saying to himself. The more Yuji and him talk though— the longer they both sit here… the less this starts to feel true at all.
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Yuji prefaces. It feels like a warning in a way. A brace for impact. Like this next thing will be even bigger than using their given names. Megumi’s anxious but also excited.
“We never have to do anything. I mean it. And don’t just go along with things because I want to, okay?” Yuji tilts his head at him, voice a little more stern than before.
He knows Megumi better than anyone else. He knows that Megumi acting compliant to what he wants wouldn’t be a far off theory to have.
Megumi nods at his words. He wants to give Yuji whatever he wants, it’s true. He won’t lie though. He won’t go against Yuji’s wishes. They’ve always been able to understand each other, to be honest in every sense of the word.
“Okay,” Megumi feels himself smiling.
“Okay,” Yuji smiles too.
They sit there for a moment in hesitation. Megumi almost leans closer to him, as if to egg him on to continue whatever it is that he wants to say— or maybe do.
“So… Can I hold your hand? If, if that’s okay?” Yuji glances away, but quickly looks back at him again, blushing and pressing his lips together cutely.
Megumi’s never wanted to hold anyone’s hand before in his life.
Megumi doesn’t think he’s ever wanted something as badly as holding Yuji’s hand in his right now.
“...Y—Yeah,” he breathes, unsteady.
“Okay,” Yuji’s voice trembles. “Cool.” He glances away again. Nervous.
Megumi can’t push down his smile now. He makes Yuji nervous. They’re dating. Whatever that really means.
The only couple Megumi’s seen up close are his parents. He doesn’t want to be anything like them. Gross and annoying and embarrassing. But behind all the eye rolling behavior is a level of trust and understanding and love that Megumi thinks everyone should be able to have. That anyone should be able to experience.
He didn’t think he’d ever want something like that before. He hasn’t ever wanted something like that before… But Yuji’s different. He makes Megumi feel different. Unlike he’s ever felt in his entire life thus far.
Yuji’s hand stays resting on the edge of the bed, so close to his own in theory, yet too fucking far. Megumi glances between Yuji's face, still blushing brightly and turned slightly away from him. He’s nervous. Megumi makes him nervous.
He looks between his hand, still holding his wrist, feeling his pulse. He stares at Yuji’s hand and then shakily pulls his fingers away from his skin.
He reaches out for Yuji, and the thought slices through him somehow that he’s lonely. Yuji makes him feel lonely. Being so close but so far. Megumi doesn’t want to feel alone.
The tips of his fingers tap against the back of Yuji’s hand. Yuji twitches slightly before slowly drawing closer, gaze still elsewhere.
Megumi thinks he’s lonely, and that the type of loneliness he feels can’t be filled up by anyone else, other than this stupid boy right in front of him, sitting on his bed.
“... Yuji…” Megumi says, not really knowing what he’s doing.
“Megumi?” Yuji looks back at him with a soft expression. Warm and maybe scared, but settled, complete. Like he’s exactly where he wants to be.
Their hands shift together, cupping each other. Yuji’s resting under his, Megumi’s dipping down along his.
He stares at their hands together. Yuji’s hand is bigger than his. He knew this. This isn’t different. He’s held Yuji’s hand in his before. The context wasn’t the same as it is now though.
Different. Megumi likes it. He’s frightened of what this means, but he’s smiling.
“... I like you, Yuji,” Megumi smiles, finding the words leaving his mouth to be easy. He’s still trembling a little. His heart is beating tentatively.
“I like you, Megumi,” Yuji blushes, staring right into his eyes.
They remain there on the bed, holding each other’s hands, just looking over each other’s faces. The moment is abruptly interrupted by loud banging on the door. They both pull their hands away from each other as Nobara comes storming inside with a deep scowl.
“Are you two ready yet?” she yells at them.
“Jesus,” Yuji raises an eyebrow.
“We’re all waiting for you, come on,” Nobara motions with her hand as she walks back out of the room.
Megumi rolls his eyes as Yuji sighs. Some things aren’t different, which he’s grateful for. The warmth of Yuji’s palm sears into his skin though, as if he hasn’t let his hand go. He can still feel him.
They sit up from the bed and walk outside to join their friends. Yuji quickly falls into their conversation, and Megumi’s heart clenches. His eyes twitch.
He still feels severely fucked.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Dating someone may truly not be any different from just being friends with someone, that is at least based on the way Yuji and him are approaching it.
Megumi thinks to ask either of his dads, preferably Geto, if this is normal. If this is something like the way he and Gojo’s relationship played out once they went from being friends to being boyfriends. Megumi’s not that stupid though. He knows the second he’d ask one of them, they’d quickly pick up on what’s going on.
Things are the same, but there are clear changes now, Megumi can’t deny. The fact that he’s nervous to tell anyone, the fact that he grows shaky from the idea of everyone finding out about Yuji and him, should be the clearest testament to this.
There isn’t much to find out, Megumi thinks. What is there to find out? That Yuji and him like each other? Everyone knows this already. Perhaps not to the extent of which that they do, but how does the semantics of this really change anything? Megumi doesn’t know. He’s still embarrassed about the idea of the others knowing none the less.
What is there to hide really? That Megumi holds his hand now? It’s not as if they’ve never touched each other before. They’ve sparred together, pinning each other down and being terribly close to one another.
Something like that should come off as more suspicious, as more intimate than simply holding hands, but Megumi thinks that since such an act is something smaller, just their hands pressing into each other, that’s why it feels so nice. So personal.
He wishes he could hold Yuji’s heart. He wants to hold his soul. He wants their cursed energy to tangle and get messy and get stuck together.
This is different. No one needs to know about that.
Yuji says Megumi’s name too easily. Too freely. It isn’t like Megumi doesn’t say Yuji’s name as well, but he can’t stop himself from blushing whenever Yuji says it. It’s more apparent than anything else. It stops him completely in his tracks, no matter what he’s doing.
It’s a good idea that he asked for them to not tell anyone. If Yuji kept saying his name, even in front of the others, Megumi doesn’t think he’d be able to function properly.
Megumi is acting strange, this he can’t deny either. But Yuji’s acting strange too. Megumi feels… sick? Maybe? He steps into Shoko’s office and she barely glances up at him, but concludes that there’s nothing wrong with him. Megumi feels bad for bothering her but he pushes for an actual check up.
And of course, Yuji just so happens to stop in to drop something off in Ijichi’s stead. Right when Shoko’s using her stethoscope.
Megumi can see the shift in her eyes as he feels his heartbeat rising. He doesn’t need Shoko to tell him or make any comments, but of course she does and of course Yuji blushes, and Megumi looks anywhere but at either of them.
Shoko raises an eyebrow as she pulls away from his chest, getting her chart back out, and asking him more questions. Writing things down.
Megumi curses at himself in his head. Yuji’s eyes meet his and his cheeks have gotten even redder— Megumi has to look away again.
Yuji mumbles a quick sorry before leaving, which only makes the moment worse. Megumi feels twitchy. This feeling doesn’t go away.
He feels, awkward almost, unsure around Yuji. They said they like each other. This shouldn’t be a surprise or change anything. They say they’re dating now, and Megumi made Yuji promise that nothing will change. But everything feels as if it has already. Even though things are seemingly the same, Megumi doesn’t feel like he ever has before.
Yuji’s voice is shaky. His eyes are more fidgety. His hands are less certain as they reach out for Megumi, to hand him something, to help him sit up, to— god forbid— hold his hand.
Megumi doesn’t like this. It feels like they’re dancing around each other. Dancing around what exactly? Megumi isn’t quite sure. This feeling in the air, he supposes. Whatever it really means to be dating someone.
Whatever they’re doing right now, it feels like a weird in-between. Like they’re too scared to go all the way. Like they’re both trying to balance on the fence of being friends still but also knowing that whatever they feel for each other definitely goes past that of friendship.
Megumi feels sick again with this feeling. He can’t keep all his worries about it trapped in his chest. He thinks he screwed himself over before, severely. He needs to do a factory reset on this whole thing.
“Y—Yuji.” Megumi’s voice is shaky, sitting in Yuji’s room with him, sitting on his bed with him.
He was trying and failing at distracting himself with a book. Yuji was seemingly, maybe, doing the same thing by being on his phone, looking through and responding to the many stupid videos Nobara sends him on a daily basis.
Megumi isn’t sure if Yuji is as nervous as he is about this whole thing. He does think he can read his mind, but he also never wants to assume things about him. Definitely not something as important as this.
“Megumi?” Yuji looks up at him. Megumi trembles.
Yuji says his name too sweetly. Sweeter than anyone’s ever said it before. It makes Megumi think it doesn’t sound too bad. That the name is good. That it does fit him after all.
“Um,” Megumi gasps a little, taken aback by Yuji’s warm cadence. He forgets what he was about to say. He feels twitchy. He feels stupid.
Yuji tilts his head at him, clearly invested. He turns his phone off and rests it to the side. He gets a little closer to Megumi on the bed. He smiles, waiting patiently. Megumi cranes his head to look away from him.
Everything about Yuji is too overwhelming. His voice, his kindness, his unwavering good nature. His face, his pupils, so dilated and focused on Megumi, like he’s the moon or a star or something celestial or important.
Megumi supposes that he is in a way. Important. To Yuji. He knew this. This isn’t different. He supposes again that it is. He needs to backtrack a little. He remembers what he wanted to say.
“I’m stupid,” Megumi blushes.
“No you’re not,” Yuji shakes his head.
“No, I am,” Megumi refutes him. “I,” he pauses. “I already told you I don’t know how to be someone’s boyfriend.”
He almost laughs at himself, bitterly, feeling like he’s messing this whole thing up. Whatever it is that they are— that they have— that they’re doing.
“Me either,” Yuji smiles. “It’s okay that we don’t know what we’re doing,” he laughs gently. “I’m really happy that we’re figuring it out, for the first time, together, Fushiguro—” Yuji shakes his head at himself, as he makes a cute grumbling noise—
“Megumi, I mean Megumi,” he laughs at himself. He scratches at the back of his neck. Megumi can’t help but smile at him.
Yuji has been saying his first name, and it leaves Megumi feeling like jello each time. He slips up here and there though, still saying Fushiguro and seemingly getting upset at himself for it.
It’s stupidly adorable. Megumi doesn’t know how Yuji manages to act so cute. He must be doing it on purpose, he thinks, but then he figures that Yuji just is the way that he is, and that makes Megumi feel even more undone. He kind of wants to kick Yuji’s ass sometimes, because of how much he likes him.
Yuji takes Megumi’s hand in his. Megumi doesn’t know how his heart doesn’t burst right out of his chest and fall into his lap.
“I really like you, you know,” Yuji practically whispers. “I know we’re not telling anyone yet, but, well—”
Megumi’s eyebrow twitches. If Yuji said something to someone then he will actually kick his ass—
“I like, did ten laps around the school before coming to your room to find you, the day you told me.”
Megumi blushes profusely. He did find it odd that Yuji didn’t reach his room sooner. Yuji runs idiotically fast. There’s no way he went around the school that many times, that has to be an exaggeration, but this makes sense. Yuji’s so cute that Megumi wants to rip something up with his teeth.
“And, I did bump into a few people and they were all like, ‘Woah, where’s the fire?’ ‘What’re you so happy about?’” Yuji laughs. Megumi can’t stop himself from smiling.
“And I,” Yuji pauses. “Yeah, I just,” his hand trembles in Megumi’s. Megumi holds him tighter. Yuji’s blushing too brightly. Megumi wants to press his fingers to his cheeks and feel how warm they are.
“I just like you too much, like, my skin’s gonna buzz off.”
Yuji’s shaking. Megumi can feel it starting in his palm and then traveling up into the rest of his body. His cursed energy is fuzzy, hanging around the both of them like he wants to envelope Megumi in the feeling, although he doesn’t have to. Megumi feels it too. He might be shaking now as well.
“I feel, like, jittery, like, I can’t calm down,” Yuji laughs again, light and breathy, and Megumi wants to feel his face, feel how warm he is.
“Yuji,” Megumi says, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
“Megumi?” Yuji’s eyes widen a little. His trembling halts ever so slightly as he stares into Megumi’s face, as he goes a bit still.
“I don’t want things to stay the same.” Megumi’s leaning closer. He doesn’t know what he’s doing as his body practically begs for him to touch Yuji somehow. To feel him closer.
“Megumi,” Yuji’s voice quakes.
Megumi presses his cheek into Yuji’s. Yuji twitches a little, almost flinching.
Yuji makes Megumi feel lonely somehow. He doesn’t know how to explain it. He holds Yuji’s palm in his and rubs his thumb over the back of his hand.
Yuji makes him feel lonely, like Megumi needs his attention more than anything, like it’s actually a necessity. Like he needs it to survive, to breathe, to not starve or thirst to death.
Yuji makes him feel lonely, like no matter how close he gets to him, Yuji will always still feel too far away.
Megumi hums, rubbing his cheek into Yuji’s cheek. Yuji’s still for a moment like he’s too surprised, too taken aback to do anything. A small sound escapes him also, sounding foreign and content and new, from deep in his throat. He rubs into Megumi as well. His face pushes slightly against Megumi’s face.
Yuji is warm. Not as warm as Megumi thought he’d be. His fingers trail up from his palm and onto his wrist, along his veins.
Yuji’s heartbeat is the prettiest thing he’s ever felt maybe. Yuji’s pulse is strumming and twitching along with his shaky breathing. Megumi can feel it against his ear. He can feel Yuji’s shallow breaths wafting over him.
He doesn’t want whatever they were before. He doesn’t want friendship, he thinks. He doesn’t know what the alternative entails. But he wouldn’t do this with anyone else. Not a single person.
Even if he had his choice, even if he could literally pick anyone in the entire world, Megumi would still only want Yuji’s attention. He would still only want Yuji’s face pressed up against his own like this.
“I don’t want things to stay the same,” Megumi repeats, feeling devoid of air somehow, like he just ran ten laps around the school, or something insane like that.
“I don’t,” Megumi gasps, too breathy.
“I know,” Yuji nods. Their cheeks rub together. Megumi’s eyes close. He thinks Yuji must be doing the same thing.
“I know, me either,” Yuji nods again. His voice raises slightly at the end, like he’s asking, or begging. Megumi’s soul twitches. He feels undone.
“I don’t want to stay the same either.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Megumi says, feeling like he could cry all of a sudden. Yuji makes him feel too many things all at once. He doesn’t want to cry. That’d be embarrassing.
“I don’t, I don’t know what we’re doing.” He falls over his words a little. “I don’t… I don’t know how to make you happy.”
I want to make you happy.
“You make me happy just by existing, Megumi,” Yuji smiles. Megumi feels his lips against his cheek. He feels his nose push up into his skin. “You don’t have to try,” his voice shakes. “You don’t have to do anything.”
This is something that hasn’t changed. Megumi must make Yuji happy. He makes him laugh and smile and Yuji spends more time with him than anyone else, he’s sure. They’re always together, alone like this. If not then they’re still together, although with the others. Even when they are apart, away on missions, or when Megumi’s visiting Tsumiki, they never really separate, Megumi thinks.
Being so far away, still feels so close. Being this close together, still feels too far away.
Megumi sighs and feels his breath come back at him, bouncing off of Yuji’s skin. Yuji shivers a little. Megumi feels warm, really warm throughout his whole body, in a way that he can’t pinpoint, in a way that he can’t place.
His legs tremble. He shifts around on the bed. Yuji shifts as well, bringing his body closer to him. Megumi presses into his pulse more. Yuji places his fingers along Megumi’s wrist as well and Megumi gasps. He doesn’t know why.
He places his other hand on the back of Megumi’s neck. Megumi twitches a little, gasping again. He’s blushing. He’s embarrassed. He copies Yuji, placing his other hand on his neck as well.
He feels the ends of his hair. He scratches at it lightly without thinking. He’s not thinking anything at all really. His mind is only thinking of Yuji, is only aware of Yuji, how warm he is, how nice his hands feel, how nice his cheek feels. How perfect his breaths are, falling against his skin. How faint his nose feels, rubbing along his own.
Their faces turn and tilt more until Megumi can feel Yuji’s breaths pushing right into his own.
He licks his lips, not thinking anything clearly at all, feeling too hazy, too fuzzy. But then all his senses return to him, and he’s still left with this same feeling.
Megumi’s never wanted anything the way he wants Yuji right now, in this moment.
“Yuji,” he breathes. It feels like a question.
“Megumi.”
Yuji’s forehead meets his own. They open their eyes faintly and blink at each other before softly closing them back again, leaning closer, but both hesitating— pulling back and inching forward and stalling.
“C—Can I?” Yuji whispers, voice too sweet. “C—Can we?” He’s trembling. Megumi can feel his lips shaking as they grow steadily closer to him and draw back again.
“Please.” Megumi feels something tear, clench deep in his heart.
Yuji’s mouth presses straight against his own and Megumi’s breath halts in his throat. He gasps out suddenly, remembering to breathe correctly, and Yuji pulls back.
“S—Sorry—” Yuji breathes. Megumi grips his neck tighter as he pulls him back into his lips. Yuji shakes but pushes into him more as well.
It’s faint, and steady, the touch of Yuji’s lips to his own. Not how it is in the movies, Megumi thinks. Their lips are parted, ever so slightly. Neither of them move, aside from their shaking. They sit there, bodies close to each other, both of them feeling their heartbeats through their wrists.
Megumi takes another breath and Yuji licks his own lips— he barely feels Yuji’s tongue against his own and his brain malfunctions. He pushes forward, too brave, and Yuji flinches back. Megumi stops himself.
“I’m sorry.”
“N—No, no,” Yuji shakes his head. “It’s okay,” he laughs gently. “You, you just,” he pauses, looking away for a second. Megumi’s soul creaks. Yuji’s fingers flex on the back of his neck. His lips part as he draws closer to him again.
“You just make me so nervous, Megumi,” Yuji kisses him.
They’re kissing. Megumi never thought he’d kiss anyone, not even once, in his whole life. He’s never wanted to. Yuji makes him want to do things that he thought he hated. He can’t hate it if he’s never done it, but the idea of it, the idea of whatever this is, of more than just friendship, Megumi thought he knew he’d always hate that.
Yuji makes him think he doesn’t know anything. That he’s been sourly wrong about everything ever in his entire life.
“I—” Megumi breathes out against Yuji’s lips, unsteady. “Is this okay?”
Yuji nods. It feels eager, although their movements are both slow. Megumi’s body jerks slightly, drawing closer to him, bringing Yuji closer, but Yuji shakes worse than before. Megumi thinks they should stay going slow.
His mind tilts and weaves through his thoughts, through this current moment like he’s replaying it even though it’s still happening— and he thinks he should hold Yuji tighter, and push against him harsher, and kiss him harder. Kiss him like they kiss in the movies. Kiss him in a way that’s bold and different and— everything about them is different now, or maybe not, but Megumi wants it to be. He thinks he wants them to be, more than anything.
He doesn’t recognize himself. He thinks the Megumi of a few years ago would be baffled, would be so thoroughly confused with himself.
He’d tell him that in a couple years, he’ll be kissing a boy in the dorms and that they’re dating. The Megumi from the past would shake his head, would easily refute that, as it honestly doesn’t make any sense.
But then he would explain that the boy in question is Yuji, and he can vividly imagine himself humming in understanding. Deducing plainly that if it was ever going to be anyone, it would be Yuji and Yuji alone. He’s the only exception for this.
Megumi’s feelings for Yuji surpass everything he thought he knew about himself. About anything.
“I like you,” Megumi says. The words feel like they bleed out of him, without his control.
“I like you, Megumi,” Yuji smiles against his lips. Megumi thinks the world is straining, about to break apart.
“I,” his voice shakes. “I want to—” Yuji’s lips are too distracting. Too close, pressed to his own. “I want to do boyfriend things.” He cringes at himself, shaking his head. What is he saying?
“Yeah?” Yuji’s smile is all too evident. Megumi likes him way too much. He couldn’t run ten laps around the school, but he feels like he could hit a black flash at will, he’s so focused— so sure about this feeling.
“You want to—” Yuji’s breath halts. Megumi’s lips tremble. “You want to go on dates and stuff?”
“I—” Megumi’s mind sputters— falters. “I don’t know.” He definitely couldn’t hit a black flash right now, he’s delusional. He doesn’t even think he could activate his technique properly right now. He’s far too shaky, far too discombobulated. His heart feels like it’s going to cramp up, it’s beating too fast.
“I don’t know. It sounds, embarrassing."
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do,” Yuji says, easy. Simple. His mouth goes still against Megumi’s and Megumi halts as well.
They pull away from each other slightly, just looking over each other’s faces. Yuji’s pupils are so huge. Megumi’s eyes twitch from staring at him. His lips part a little in amazement.
“We don’t have to actually go out,” Yuji blushes. “I—If you want to, of course we can, b—but, if not,” he pauses, nervous. He’s falling over his words a little, stuttering in a way that Megumi’s never seen him do before.
“If not, we can just, just have a date here, at the dorms…” Yuji’s words trail off and his smile grows wider. “I can make us dinner— wh—whatever you’d want, and,” he pauses, licking his lips. Megumi’s eyes flicker down. He almost gets distracted.
“And we can watch a movie and just…” Yuji’s eyes trail up to his face. Megumi can easily follow where they’re lingering and for how long they linger for. His heart won’t calm down. The ground feels like it’s rumbling.
“And we can just, just,” Yuji stutters, “just, be in my room. Or your room. Or whichever—”
Megumi pulls Yuji’s lips back into his own, he can’t help it. It feels a little wrong maybe. Definitely greedy. Yuji leans into the touch though. His fingers on the back of Megumi’s neck pull him closer. His fingers along Megumi’s pulse twitch.
Megumi’s never wanted anything as bad as he wants Yuji. His heart feels heavy. His soul feels strained, tired with the feeling.
He wants Yuji and he has him. They're so close but still far. So fucking far.
Megumi wants to tear something with his teeth. He wants to rip something to pieces. To watch something curl up and bleed out. He feels breathless, weightless, with this sensation. He needs Yuji, he thinks. He doesn’t know what it means. He just needs him.
“Okay,” Megumi nods.
“Okay?” Yuji’s voice trembles.
“Okay,” Megumi nods again. “Y—Yeah. Let’s—” Yuji’s lips push into his own, so light and too tender and Megumi wants to shove him up against something and kiss him like they do in the movies, gross and fast and not quite the same as this. “Let’s do that.”
“Okay,” Yuji smiles. His lips quiver against Megumi’s.
Megumi can feel Yuji’s body leaning back, pulling away. He holds him closer and grips his wrist, dipping his nails into his flesh. It’s not exactly purposeful. Yuji gasps, and his lips part more, and Megumi feels as if somehow this is on purpose. Subconsciously if not anything else.
He licks into Yuji’s mouth, faint and quick and greedy, and he feels Yuji’s tongue, and something clenches inside of him. He can feel Yuji tensing too, so he pulls away then, thinking he’s pushing too far.
“S—Sorry,” Megumi says, although he isn’t. Not really.
He takes his hands back and Yuji looks dazed as he does the same.
“Don’t say sorry so much,” Yuji rasps, faint, his lips staying parted.
Megumi doesn’t want to stop kissing him. He wants to place his fingers along his mouth and maybe dip further and go inside and feel around his tongue and his gums and go over his teeth.
Gross. That should be gross, but Yuji makes everything feel wonderful. Feel perfect.
“Okay,” Megumi sighs. He looks away from him, blushing. He picks his book back up and opens the page back that he left off on with shaky fingers.
Yuji remains where he is, maybe still frozen in place. He picks his phone up eventually and shifts on the bed a little. His shoulder bumps into Megumi’s and Megumi doesn’t register the touch, thinking it was an accident and that Yuji will lean away from him in a second.
Yuji’s body is only growing closer to him though. Megumi steals a glance at him and then feels his face flushing even more as Yuji curls up beside him, pressing himself into him a bit awkwardly.
Megumi doesn’t know what he’s doing as he does it. He brings his arm up and around Yuji and gently tugs him closer. Yuji makes a small sound out of surprise and their eyes meet for a moment before looking away from each other again.
“Is this okay?” Yuji asks, even though Megumi’s the one holding him.
“Y—Yeah,” Megumi’s soul trembles. “Of course.”
Anything would be okay if it’s Yuji. Megumi’s quite certain that anything would be okay, as long as Yuji’s involved.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Things aren’t the same and they shouldn’t be. Things aren’t going to remain the same and Megumi’s happy with this. He’s grown past trying to deny himself. Grown past being in denial about it at all.
He thinks that if he was still friends with Yuji, that his behavior would feel weird. That his thoughts would be unwarranted and his imaginations would be out of place.
He presses his lips to Yuji’s lips because he can, because this is something that boyfriends do. They sit at dinner with the others when they all make the time to go out, and Yuji’s hand finds Megumi’s under the table and their fingers intertwine with each other.
The others should know, Megumi thinks. He feels like he and Yuji are sneaking around in a way, like they’re hiding some secret. Which, Megumi thinks he’s good at keeping secrets, but he’s also never really had to or found the point in doing so.
He supposes he was able to keep the fact that he was siblings with the twins as well as a son to Gojo and Geto a secret for a while, but he was more reserved back then as opposed to now.
This is different anyway. Everything about Yuji and him is. Unlike anything else Megumi’s ever encountered or experienced. He can’t really compare them to anything else.
Any doubt or worry he has, Yuji swiftly takes away from him. Megumi doesn’t know what he’s doing. Neither of them do. Yuji makes them food like he promised and they pick a movie to watch together and they eat on the edge of his bed, holding hands.
The laying into each other becomes a casual thing. Megumi figures that they may have touched each other often before as well, but this is more intentional maybe. More distinct and affectionate.
He wouldn’t run his fingers through someone else’s hair the way he runs them through Yuji’s. He knows Yuji wouldn’t cuddle up to anyone other than him. Nobara and the twins use the both of them as furniture from time to time, but this is different. Megumi likes different.
He likes feeling Yuji’s lips. He trails his fingers along them, late at night when they would normally be talking on and on about something inane.
They kind of just stare at each other sometimes, not saying much of anything at all other than each other’s names. Like they’re getting used to saying them still. Like they’re playing around with how the syllables form in their mouths.
Megumi likes Yuji’s name in his mouth. He likes his name in Yuji’s. He likes feeling Yuji breathe his name against his lips. He likes how soft, how warm he is. Yuji’s lips, his fingers, his voice. Everything about Yuji is gentle. Megumi thinks it’s something about the fact that he’s so strong, that he knows Yuji could pick up a car and throw it at someone, that then the fact of him also being so sweet makes his soul shudder.
His eyes feel watery, just looking into Yuji’s eyes, just thinking about how he could have gotten so lucky as to have met him, as to have found him that day. It feels like fate, although Megumi has always denounced such an idea. That things are destined to happen. That the universe has some sort of plan for you.
Yuji makes everything change its perspective. He makes Megumi’s mind open, expand a little. He starts to believe that maybe such a thought isn’t too crazy. When Yuji stares into him, stares back at him with the same intensity, with the same focus, Megumi notices how Yuji’s eyes are glossy, like he might cry too.
Megumi can’t help but smile, knowing that Yuji feels the same things he feels. He loves Yuji so much he could actually cry. And he does, find himself crying at times, without noticing. Yuji will wipe at his face and Megumi stifles a little, feeling lost in a dream.
He finds it nicer to fall asleep in Yuji’s bed than he does in his own. He finds it easy to get comfortable in Yuji’s arms. He listens to his heartbeat against his chest and finds the sound to be strikingly soothing.
They spend even more time together than usual in this beautiful haze of what Megumi assumes is the “honeymoon phase” of their relationship. He always thought that such a term was stupid but now things have changed. He still thinks it’s stupid, but for another reason now.
Yuji is everything to Megumi, and Megumi might be everything to Yuji. He doesn’t see how things will mellow out or become any lesser between them. They just are how they’ve always been, now with a few added changes. This shouldn’t be different and in a way it isn’t.
Yuji giggles to himself, calling Megumi his boyfriend when they’re alone. Megumi sighs tiredly, feeling exhausted from work and Yuji’s hands easily press along his shoulders, sweetly offering him a massage. Yuji lays in bed reading manga and Megumi lays against him falling asleep, opening his eyes occasionally and taking a peak at what’s happening on the pages.
Their hands rub against each other like it’s simple and it is. Yuji caresses his cheek. Megumi’s hand rests on Yuji’s thigh. Yuji curls up next to him, pressing his head into his chest, sometimes placing his head onto his lap, and looking up at him.
They cuddle a lot, Megumi thinks. They spend a good amount of time in the dorms when they can, just lazing around and watching movies, doing random things. And they kiss. Megumi doesn’t think they know how to very well yet. Their lips barely move and Megumi feels this rumbling in his veins to push further, to go faster, but he always holds himself back.
He tries to match Yuji’s pace, to go along with his actions and whatever he wants to do. And it feels as if Yuji doesn’t want to do much. Which is fine, and they’re both idiots, they both claimed that they didn’t want anything to change and that nothing had to.
Megumi likes the changes so far though. He thinks he’d like even more. He wants Yuji to kiss him like he wants to, like he can’t help it.
Yuji’s too soft and too sweet and Megumi knows he can run ten laps around the school like it’s nothing, and he knows that he can pick up a car and throw it at someone, and he knows that he can hit a black flash whenever he wants to.
So why won’t he kiss him harder? Why won’t he open his mouth more? Why is he going so slowly?
Megumi concludes that Yuji is holding himself back too for some reason. He must be. Megumi’s gone on record multiple times saying that these types of things just don’t interest him. That was before though, when they weren’t boyfriends. That was before when they were only friends.
Yuji must be hesitant because of this. Megumi thinks to tell Yuji that he’s wrong, that he’s being stupid, to just kiss him and do anything else that he could want to do with him.
He always falters though. Asking for anything would be far too embarrassing, and even though Megumi doesn’t think of it at first as an ask, it undoubtedly would be. Megumi wants Yuji, more than anything.
Their small period of bliss can’t last forever and Megumi is sourly reminded of this as Yuji tells him he’s going overseas for a few days.
He grimaces, thinking to blame Gojo since he generally dictates who’s going where and when. But he digresses though. None of them can control the behavior of cursed spirits and Sorcerers are always in high demand and low availability.
The kiss Yuji leaves him with is sweet and eye twitching and lingering, and maybe a bit cruel. Like Yuji is doing this on purpose. Like he’s baiting Megumi to see how long he can taunt him for. To see how many small chaste kisses it takes for Megumi to lose his mind.
And Megumi does start to lose his mind. Yuji and him text often, even as they’re both busy, but the first day drags and screeches along annoyingly as Megumi’s want for Yuji bleeds out of him even more than usual. The second day is worse and then the final day leaves him feeling increasingly lonelier, even as he knows Yuji will be back now soon.
He sleeps in Yuji’s bed each night he’s gone, and holds the covers close over his face, smelling them, remembering Yuji’s scent, thinking of his smile and warm laughter and dazzling eyes.
The next day, when Megumi sees Yuji, running up to him from afar and holding his arms out for him, Megumi’s surprised at how wide he begins smiling. He thinks he’s a little pathetic, missing Yuji so much, as if he hasn’t gone longer without seeing him before, but again, everything’s so different now.
Yuji feels like an avalanche, or a meteor, coming at him so fast. Megumi thinks to brace for impact but then he begins to put his arms out too, expecting Yuji to hug him. Once Yuji’s hands meet his shoulders though, Megumi swiftly realizes that a hug isn’t what he’s aiming for.
Yuji’s hands push him up against one of the vending machines aligning the wall and he kisses him— really kisses him, like how Megumi’s seen it in the movies.
“I’ve missed you,” Yuji says, breathy, and clinging to his clothes. “Missed you,” he says it again, pushing— pressing into Megumi’s mouth and parting his lips more than he ever has before.
Megumi whines against him. He tries to copy his rhythm. Yuji grips him tightly. A sound escapes from his throat that Megumi knows he’s never heard before. He feels his eyes go lax a little and then he tries to focus. He tries to stay locked inside this moment.
His body trembles as Yuji licks along his lip. He thinks to do the same to Yuji, to try and taste him, really taste him— not just his lips but his saliva— to push that far into his mouth, but he doesn’t. He’s embarrassed. He’s scared.
Their hands wrap around each other, holding each other tightly like they can’t bear the idea of ever letting go again.
Yuji was only gone for a few days. How is he going to react when he gets a mission that sends him away for a week? Or longer? Megumi whines again. He hears a bird chirp somewhere close by. They’re outside.
“Yuji,” his voice wobbles. Yuji’s hands trail down from his back and onto his hips. Megumi jerks forward, closer to him. “We— we can’t,” he breathes, unsteady. “L—Later.”
“Now,” Yuji says, and fuck, Megumi can hear it in his voice. Something distinct, and unfamiliar, but definitely warranted, and wanted, and— Megumi can’t pull himself away from him. Not ever.
“Right now— I miss you,” Yuji whines.
Megumi can easily imagine Yuji begging. He can clearly see Yuji being just as pathetic as he is. An embarrassing sound escapes him as Yuji licks him again. Their tongues brush together, just faintly, and Megumi can’t even remember what he was protesting now.
His hands tremble against the fabric of Yuji’s uniform and he needs him closer, just a bit closer, always a bit closer. Yuji hums into his lips like he’s somehow agreeing, like he can read his mind. His hand trails up to cup his cheek and he holds him there. Megumi leans into the touch.
The world is still for a moment, quiet and fuzzy, and Megumi’s too happy to contemplate anything.
Yuji wants him, he likes him, he’s not holding himself back. Megumi could die from this feeling. He thinks his brain is actually shifting, morphing with this new slew of emotions.
There’s a clear twinge in the air, a sudden imbalance of cursed energy, and Megumi’s too slow to react. His eye opens slightly and he freezes before pushing Yuji off of him.
“Shit!” Megumi curses roughly, turning his face away and almost crouching down into the shadows.
“Woah,” Gojo’s eyebrows raise under his blindfold, just turning the corner and catching the most unfortunate glance of the two of them.
Yuji stands a few feet away from Megumi, looking more stunned than embarrassed. Megumi is looking anywhere but at the two of them, wishing that this wasn’t actually happening.
“My bad,” Gojo says, turning quickly on his heels and heading back the way he came. “I didn’t see anything—”
“Stop! Come back!” Megumi tells him.
“What?” Gojo and Yuji stare at him in confusion.
“Come back,” Megumi clenches his teeth.
Gojo’s eyebrows raise even more as he slowly slinks back around the corner fully. Yuji’s eyes dart around, clearly unsure. The shock of the moment is seemingly leaving him, and Megumi can feel his embarrassment now.
Gojo and Yuji almost share a glance but they just barely miss each other. Megumi’s sure they’d both be sharing a look of confusion with themselves if this situation were a little different from what it actually is.
“Okay,” Megumi starts, not knowing what he’s doing. All he does know is that if he lets Gojo just run off after seeing what he’s seen, it’ll be a bigger issue to deal with later.
“... This isn’t what it looks like.”
“It didn’t look like anything—”
“Shut up,” Megumi frowns deeply.
Yuji remains standing with his uncertain posture, looking between Gojo and Megumi unsteadily.
“... Itadori and I—” Megumi falters on his words— “we’re not—” He thinks to refute this, to lie, but then he stops himself. That’s the last thing he wants to do. Deny what he and Yuji are.
He’s unsure. He feels like dying— being caught by Gojo of all people.
“This isn’t—”
“Whatever this is, is none of my business,” Gojo throws his hands up, stepping away to leave again.
“Sensei—” Yuji tries.
“I was never here.” Gojo turns around, disappearing behind the coroner.
“Dad!” Megumi screams for him, teeth clenched, his eyebrows furrowing.
He goes to say more but finds that nothing’s coming out. His lips are wobbly. He wants to bang his head against the wall.
This is the worst possible outcome— Gojo finding out— First! Out of anyone. In theory, Megumi and Yuji would have told everyone together— maybe not together or at the same time, or in a situation where everyone was there, but— Well Megumi doesn’t know what he thought everyone finding out would have been like, but now he knows that thinking of such a thing is futile, because Gojo’s just going to open his big mouth and blab to everyone!
“Fuck,” Megumi curses lowly.
Yuji tilts his head at him, still looking in shock and as if he’s been knocked around, like he’s in a daze.
“Is this, bad?” Yuji asks. Idiot.
“This is the worst thing that could have happened,” Megumi groans.
“How so?” Yuji says slowly, confused maybe. He’s still in shock. It’s kind of adorable. Megumi can’t think of that right now though.
He was amped up on happiness, Yuji kissing him so piercingly for once and especially after being gone for days— but now he’s come crashing down from that high. This is all Gojo’s fault. Fuck.
“He’s gonna fucking tell everyone,” Megumi gripes, sternly walking forward, past Yuji, who couldn’t look more loopy if he was trying.
“Is that, really such a bad thing though?” His words leave him slowly again.
“Of course, Yuji,” Megumi practically screams at him over his shoulder, glaring. “Even if we were going to tell people soon—” Megumi stops himself, faltering, looking into Yuji’s expression and not being able to tell what he’s thinking.
He thinks he could possibly be acting insensitive. He doesn’t want Yuji to be thinking anything bad. Not ever.
“... Even if we were going to— when we were going to…” Megumi blushes, looking away, feeling too much all at once. “I wanted it to be us. Gojo can’t keep a fucking secret to save his life.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Yuji smiles.
“Trust me. It is,” Megumi frowns. “We’re fucked.”
“Hey, it’s alright,” Yuji laughs a little, coming closer to him and taking his hands in his. “I’m sure if you talk to him and just, tell him everything, that then he’ll understand. He’ll see how important this is to you and then he won’t go telling anyone.”
Yuji’s smile is too trusting, too hopeful. And his words are too reassuring, too optimistic. Megumi can’t stop himself from smiling too though as he stares into his face.
Yuji is right. Gojo’s not a complete asshole (some of the time). He should listen to Megumi if he really just makes this abundantly clear to him.
Yuji squeezes Megumi’s hands and brings them up to his face. He kisses his fingers and rubs his cheek into his knuckles.
Megumi couldn’t push his smile down if he tried. Yuji is too much for him. He’s too much but Megumi can handle it. He has to, he thinks. Yuji’s his and no one else’s, and Megumi can’t live in a reality where this isn’t true.
“Yeah, okay. You’re right.”
“Uh huh,” Yuji nods, not even seeming smug or proud of himself. Megumi’s blushing. He likes him way too much.
“... H—Hey,” Megumi starts, quiet, simmering down significantly now from just a moment ago. He looks up into Yuji’s eyes and they’re too focused on him.
Megumi is Yuji’s and no one else’s, and he wants to believe that Yuji wouldn’t know how to live in a reality where this isn’t true either.
“You know I’m… I’m not embarrassed because of you, I’m just,” he pauses. He falters on his words, needing to phrase this correctly. “... I’m just embarrassed and nervous, in general.”
Yuji stares into him for a moment, a gentle smile spreading across his face, a light blushing coating his cheeks. “I know, Megumi. That’s okay.” His smile ignites something in Megumi’s heart, and it feels like he’s about to explode.
“I’m nervous too… but I think I want people to know.”
“I’m not, ready yet,” Megumi says, glancing away. He feels a bit small.
“That’s okay too.” Yuji tightens his hold on his hand.
He always makes Megumi feel special, like he isn’t small or that even if he is, that he still likes him. That Megumi is still important regardless of his size, regardless of how inferior he can feel.
Yuji still cares about him as much as Megumi cares for him in return. They feel equal, even though Megumi will always admire Yuji like he’s the sun. Megumi knows that he’s not as vast as Yuji is, and Megumi’s okay with this. Yuji likes him despite that. Despite everything. Anything at all.
“We can wait, as long as you want,” Yuji nods. He’s everything Megumi wants. “You might want to catch up to Gojo Sensei though, if that’s the case.”
“Fuck. Yeah,” Megumi sighs.
He lets his hands fall out of Yuji’s grasp and then he’s turning to run in the direction Gojo went. He stops himself shortly though and looks back at Yuji.
Yuji’s barely looking up to meet his gaze before Megumi’s lips collide into his. He kisses him greedily, trying to regain a fraction of their moment before they got interrupted. He licks into his mouth and Yuji whines, making Megumi feel incredibly rewarded by his bravery. He pulls away and smiles as he goes to run off again.
“I’ll be right back. Hopefully.”
“Oh no,” Yuji laughs. He shakes his head at him. “Don’t beat him up or anything.”
As if Gojo would ever let me get a hit in on him anyway, Megumi thinks. He shakes his head too.
He reaches out for Yuji’s hand and kisses his knuckles quickly before nodding a bye at him. Yuji nods as well and then Megumi’s sprinting down the path and into the quad.
Finding Gojo shouldn’t be hard because of his cursed energy, but a good Sorcerer knows how to dim it, to blend in better with their surroundings. Gojo’s energy is so immense that it’s almost crucial for him to keep it condensed. This makes it harder to pinpoint, but Megumi can still sense him near the entrance of the school.
Trying to make his grand escape, huh?
Megumi conjures up Nue and latches onto its talons as he has it guide him down the large steps. He quickly catches sight of Gojo, standing beside Ijichi by one of Jujutsu High’s cars, talking about something.
Oh hell no.
“Gojo!” Megumi calls out for him.
Both him and Ijichi crane their heads to look up at him. Megumi expels Nue and rolls onto the pavement, grumbling as he stands and hurriedly runs the rest of the way over to the two of them.
“Whatever you’re saying, stop saying it,” Megumi waves his hand.
“We’re just talking about this week’s reports,” Gojo raises an eyebrow at him. “And how slowly Ijichi was at filling them out,” Gojo frowns, no doubt glaring at Ijichi under his blindfold.
“I didn’t—” Ijichi almost fights back but then the minimal resolve that he does somehow still have left after all this time dissipates. “I’m sorry.” His eyebrows crease. He seems more pissed at Gojo than sorry.
“Ijichi,” Gojo sighs. “When I tell you to have something done, you should have already finished it before I even asked you.”
Megumi shakes his head at Gojo’s clear lack of reason. Ijichi sighs and apologizes again. Megumi should feel sorry for him but this is commonplace. Gojo’s been a bully ever since Megumi was a kid. Ijichi’s probably the person who has it the worst, out of all of Gojo’s victims.
“Dad,” Megumi says, trying to grab his attention. Gojo’s head tilts over to him and Megumi grimaces, trying not to scowl too deeply. “What you saw… no one’s supposed to know. Not right now.”
He looks away from Gojo, wanting to hide into a shadow. He’s always blushed easily. It doesn’t matter if he’s embarrassed or if the weather is just too hot. Megumi’s face annoyingly has never cooperated with him in this way.
“I didn’t see anything,” Gojo smiles, after a beat of silence.
“Don’t act coy right now,” Megumi groans. “I mean it. Please don’t tell anyone…” His words trail off as he swims through his thoughts. He figures that he should add a warning for Geto too.
“I know you’re going to tell Papa, you guys tell each other everything.”
Annoying. Gross. Megumi thinks he understands the two of them better though now. He doesn’t want to. Yuji and him are separate from the two of them, although they’re the best example Megumi’s ever had at what a good relationship should be like.
Maybe they should strive to be like them. Even if their relationships aren’t and won’t be identical, Megumi does want some of the things that they have with each other. He supposes.
“Am I allowed to ask a simple question, or is that off the table?” Gojo grins.
“No,” Megumi frowns, although he knows Gojo will just ask whatever it is anyway. He might as well not have even asked if he can ask.
“Is this an official thing or…” his words drift away.
Megumi somehow brings himself to glance up at him, and Gojo has this weird look on his face. Like he’s concerned, or worried— but no, something softer than that— invested, curious. Like he cares. Megumi looks away again then, feeling fidgety. He scratches at his sleeve as his face grows hotter.
“Yeah, it is— we, we are.”
Gojo hums, nodding a little. Megumi narrows his eyes as he looks back at him, and of course, his trademark stupid smile is spreading on his face. Megumi doesn’t want to dissect what it means but he can’t help it. Gojo seems prideful, somehow, about this. Definitely content.
“And, you’re happy? The both of you?”
“Dad,” Megumi sighs exasperatedly.
Gojo laughs softly and Megumi purses his lips, frowning as he glances away again.
“You don’t have to answer that one. The answer is pretty obvious.”
Megumi grumbles, fumbling over several possible retorts in his mind, but not being able to settle on one, and just simply mumbling nonsense instead.
“No more questions,” Megumi sighs. “You can tell Papa, but that’s it, okay? Promise.”
“I promise, Megumi,” Gojo smiles, seeming too amused. He drags his fingers over his lips like a zipper.
Megumi grumbles some more before his eyes widen. He turns to face Ijichi, just now realizing that he’s been standing here this whole time, listening in.
Megumi’s lips part a little. He’s surprised at himself for disregarding Ijichi’s existence so easily. Ijichi’s gaze catches on his and then he smiles gently, no doubt picking up on his worry.
“Whatever you two are talking about, I have no idea. Trust me,” he shakes his head.
Megumi glares between the two of them. He isn’t so sure if he believes it or not. He then figures that even if Ijichi does know or can just pick up on it, that he won’t tell anyone either. He’d be too frightened to.
Megumi sighs, out of relief maybe. He goes to walk past the two of them and back up to the stairs leading into the school.
“Okay. Thanks.”
“If you really don’t want people to know,” Gojo calls out to him, and Megumi glances back, “you should maybe not be by the vending machi—”
“I said okay!” Megumi shouts over his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“See ya later, kiddo,” Gojo waves, sounding too fucking pleased.
Megumi grumbles and summons Nue again, needing to get a faster exit out of this situation. He’s flown back up into the school, trying to ignore Gojo’s words and his stupid smirks as the scene that just occurred replays in his head.
He sighs solemnly to himself. He’ll have to brace for the impact of Geto’s reaction now. He’ll no doubt corner him in a hallway or something tomorrow.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Megumi is smart in assuming that Geto will find him in the hall that next day. He sighs, not even attempting to run away as Geto strolls up behind him. Megumi doesn’t meet his gaze even as he says good morning to him.
He stands, just waiting in a sense, for Geto to say something. Both him and Gojo are annoying but Geto is significantly easier to deal with when Gojo’s not around. It’s much calmer and he teases him less. Everyone always teases him though. He thinks he’s too easy of a target sometimes.
“... What?” Megumi asks after what feels like a minute has passed, and Geto still hasn’t said anything.
Megumi finally looks up at him then. Geto is smiling fondly. He can’t detect a hint of self satisfaction or smugness. Megumi’s been teased about when he’ll finally get a boyfriend or girlfriend for forever.
Geto might have been the first person to bring such an idea up. He’s the one who explained soulmates to him. Megumi refuted the idea, because it’s stupid. Geto laughed and said that he’d understand it one day. Megumi disagreed with him on this too.
Geto should be excited, to be right. He often rubs his victories in Gojo’s face anyway. Megumi’s parents’ dynamic is weird. They act a set way with each other that doesn’t exactly bleed into how they treat everyone else. Still, Megumi’s expecting a little bit of gloating. A little bit of cockiness.
“What?” he asks again, when Geto is still quiet. He looks away as his cheeks grow warmer.
Geto places his hand on Megumi's shoulder and then he’s glancing up at him again, frowning slightly from the anticipation and annoyance that goes along with his embarrassment.
“... I’m proud of you, Megumi,” he smiles.
“Oh my god,” Megumi scoffs, rolling his eyes hard. He shrugs Geto’s hand off of him.
“I mean it,” Geto nods.
“Please, Papa,” he sighs. He looks away. “I’d rather you just gloat.”
Geto laughs almost, “Why would I do that?”
Megumi crosses his arms. “Because you were right.”
Geto laughs fully then. “I tend to be,” he nods. He places his hand on Megumi’s shoulder again, and then tugs him a little closer, bringing him into a side hug of sorts.
“Yuji though, huh?”
“Yes, what about it?” Megumi blushes, looking elsewhere.
“I’m happy it’s him,” Geto says warmly.
Megumi feels his face getting even hotter as he sighs out loudly. He wonders hazily if this is going to be a surprise for the rest of them as well. When Megumi “confessed” to Yuji (if you want to call it that) Yuji said that he already knew. In a way, Megumi knew that Yuji liked him also. In a way. So he wonders if anyone is going to find this strange or new, different, at all. He thinks that maybe they won’t.
Perhaps telling everyone won’t be that big of a deal. Maybe it’s even something that Megumi could be okay with happening sooner rather than later. For Yuji’s sake, of course, as well. He did say that he wants people to know. Megumi wants to keep his wishes in mind. Yuji’s being so understanding of him, he always is. Megumi needs to give back.
“So, who told who first?” Geto asks. Annoyingly curious. Caringly curious. Annoyingly caring.
“When did you two start dating?”
“Will you keep it down?” Megumi clenches his teeth, scanning around the hallway. “I told Dad to tell you—”
“I know, you’re not telling anyone yet. That’s okay,” Geto laughs a little. He brings Megumi further into his side. “Your sisters are gonna be mad that you didn’t tell them first.”
Shit. Geto’s right. He does tend to be.
“Well technically, I haven’t told anyone yet at all. Dad is just nosy.”
“Really?” Geto raises an eyebrow at him. “He told me where he saw you two, you know.”
Megumi grumbles, not wanting to respond to that. He can’t really call Gojo nosy for walking in on them when they were literally outside.
“Whatever,” Megumi mutters. He shrugs Geto off again. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“I mean it,” Megumi sighs, looking over his shoulder at him.
“I promise,” Geto nods, laughing faintly.
Megumi glares a little, not sure if he can trust him. He figures that Geto is more trustworthy than Gojo though, and so if he really believes that Gojo will keep his mouth shut, then he should easily be able to do the same for Geto.
Megumi nods at himself before continuing down the hall, figuring it’s fine for him to escape this situation now. Yuji will no doubt be happy about this, and in a sense, Megumi is a little relieved that his parents know and have been the first people to find out. He’s still a bit anxious though. He feels a tightening in his chest.
It’s alright though. No one else will find out. Yuji and him just have to not kiss by the vending machines again, which is an easy thing to not do. And he trusts his parents. They won’t tell anyone. Everyone else will find out whenever Megumi and Yuji are ready to tell them. On their own time.
Megumi smiles. He can be okay with this.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
“Yuji and Megumi?” Shoko asks, taking her gloves off and tossing them in the trash.
“Yep,” Geto smiles as he sits on the examination table. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but I know you won’t tell anyone, so it’s alright,” Geto explains, more so to himself than to her.
“It cancels out, no?”
“Mhm,” Shoko nods, not listening fully anymore.
Geto shrugs, not picking up on her lack of attention.
(Somewhere outside of Tokyo, on a mission, Megumi’s soul twitches. He feels a disturbance of some kind).
Shoko calls Utahime on her break later and when asked about her day so far, she casually shares how she’s just learned Yuji and Megumi are a couple now.
“Really?” Utahime speaks through the phone. “I have to say, this isn’t much of a shock.”
“It isn’t, no,” Shoko shakes her head.
“I feel like I’ve hardly seen them together as of late, but each time I have…” Utahime lets her words trail off. Shoko nods, even though she can’t see her.
She’s seen Megumi and Yuji’s relationship develop since they were both fifteen. Geto didn’t seem surprised in the slightest upon telling her, which, if Shoko isn’t taken aback then Geto definitely shouldn’t be. Even Utahime, who’s in Kyoto most of the time, can pick up on what Yuji and Megumi have always had.
“I’m happy for them,” Utahime smiles. “Wish them both the best from me.”
“I will,” Shoko nods, yawning a little.
The entirety of her conversation from before with Geto doesn’t play out clearly in her mind. It escapes her completely that this is meant to be a secret.
(Far away from Shoko in one of the many training fields in Jujutsu High, Megumi’s eyes strain. Maki asks him what’s up, and he says it’s nothing, although he feels off).
Later, when Shoko’s going over paperwork with Yaga in the evening, she shares it with him as well.
“Interesting,” is all that Yaga has to say in response. Haibara has a much more enthused reaction, when Shoko’s out drinking with him and Nanami an hour or so afterwards.
“No way!” His eyes shine happily. “That’s so great! I’m so thrilled for them!”
“Are they telling people?” Nanami asks.
He’s somehow able to pick up on the fact that this was supposed to be a secret. He’s been around Megumi since he was a kid as well. He can easily deduce that if Megumi was going to start dating someone (which is a surprise on all its own besides the fact that Yuji is the one he’s dating) he’d probably want to keep such a thing under wraps. He probably wouldn’t want other people spreading it around. Gossiping about him.
“Ah shit,” Shoko frowns as she grips her glass tighter. “I think it was a secret. Damn.” She finishes the rest of her drink and Haibara laughs lightly.
“Oh no,” he shakes his head.
“Ieiri,” Nanami narrows his eyes.
“What?” she shrugs and reaches for the pint of beer at the table, going to refill her glass.
(Megumi’s uneasy feeling only worsens, but he chooses, or rather tries, to ignore it).
The next day, in the morning when Yaga is speaking with Panda, the news comes out in a casual manner. The same way that talk of the forecast or a slight change in the curriculum would be discussed between them.
“Those two?” Panda’s eyes shoot wide open.
“Yes, Shoko was telling me yesterday. I’m surprised Satoru isn’t running through the school informing everyone.”
“It’s probably a secret then,” Panda concludes, rubbing under his chin.
“Most likely, yes,” Yaga agrees, and he points at him. “But Shoko told me, and so I’m telling you.”
Panda nods, understanding. “Yep. My lips are sealed.” Panda mimes zipping his lips up and then he locks it, throwing away the key.
He must unlock his lips later though, because upon bumping into Maki, he immediately tells her.
“Yuji and Megumi are dating, you know.”
Maki’s eyebrows twinge as she stops walking. She places a hand on her hip and stares up at him.
“Bullshit, no way,” she shakes her head.
“Yes way.” Panda nods repeatedly, a bit dramatically.
“How do you know?” Maki’s eyes crease as she looks on suspiciously, clearly not believing it.
“Satoru saw them kissing by the vending machines.”
Maki brings her hand up to block her mouth as she starts laughing. Panda looks on, smiling as she hunches over a little, curling into herself as she chuckles. She wraps her arms around her stomach.
“There’s no way— that’s too funny!” She waves her hand and leans into Panda so she doesn’t fall over. “Megumi? Are you sure?”
“Positive,” Panda nods. Maki’s laughter softens. “Satoru told Suguru, and Suguru told Shoko, and Shoko told Masamichi, and he told me, and now I’m telling you.” Panda counts on his fingers as he goes over everyone.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Maki tries to catch her breath as she continues giggling. “Is this supposed to be a secret?” Panda nods again. Maki seems to find that even more amusing as her shoulders shake. “But that many people already know—” she cuts herself off, laughing.
The two of them stand there in the quad, Panda smiling as Maki laughs into his fur. She recomposes herself at some point, being able to stand properly, but she’s still grinning widely, and it’s clear that her giggles could arise again at any moment.
“Okay, okay, well if it is a secret, then it should end here, with me,” she breathes out. Panda hums in agreement.
Maki shakes her head again, almost laughing. “That’s so fucking funny—” She seemingly can’t hold herself back from laughing again as she throws her head back. Panda finds the sound to be more contagious than before, and he hunches a bit lower as well, as he starts chuckling along with her.
They lean into each other as their laughter begins echoing throughout the quad. Yuta’s walking past a few feet away, not paying too much attention to his surroundings until their giggles bounce into his ears.
He cranes his head with a huh, and smiles at seeing how amused they both are. He quickly strolls over and begins laughing a little too, although he doesn’t know what’s funny.
“What’re you two laughing about?” he grins.
“Nothing,” they say in sync, smiles falling immediately, both of them dawning serious faces.
“Ah—” Yuta flinches back a little, not knowing what he did to ruin the joke or the moment.
Maki dismisses him when he tries asking again and Panda wraps his arm around him as he hurriedly tries to change the subject.
The three of them walk onward and Yuta stands between them, feeling confused and out of the loop. Maki turns her face away as she can’t hold herself back from smiling. Yuta doesn’t miss it even as Panda attempts to distract him.
(At the same time, while relaxing in his room, Megumi gets a really really bad feeling and frowns).
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Nanako is humming to herself in slight frustration as she watches Mimiko and Haibara play their third round of shogi this afternoon. Haibara’s on an impressive losing streak. He has been ever since 2007. Nanako’s baffled as to how he can manage to be so terrible and especially be so consistent at it too, but she shakes that thought away as she grumbles more about something else.
“What is it?” Mimiko asks her. She moves one of her pieces across the board.
“Dad’s hiding something,” Nanako pouts. “Papa too.” Her eyes follow Mimiko’s hands as she plays. “I feel like even Shoko’s in on it. Whatever it is.”
“Ah— Er.” Haibara speaks up, like he’s going to say something, but then he purses his lips quickly. Stopping himself. Although it’s too late. Both of the twins freeze, staring into him with their equally invested expressions.
Haibara begins sweating, looking away from them. They both lean in closer to him and then he gulps. He feels like’s he trapped himself.
“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you,” he sighs, giving in way too easily, before they even get the chance to interrogate him.
The twins gasp in anticipation.
“But it’s a secret!” He waves his finger. “So no telling anyone! You promise?”
“Depends on how big the secret is,” Nanako beams, vibrating from excitement.
“Nanako,” Mimiko sighs, although she clearly shares in her enthusiasm.
“Okay, okay, fine— we promise!” she sulks. “Just tell us! Tell us!” she perks up again.
Haibara sighs. The twins sit up straighter as they smile up at him, staring into him. It takes him a few seconds of hesitation before the words slip out of his mouth.
“Your brother’s dating Yuji now.”
They each gasp, Nanako having a much louder one than her sister.
“You’re joking!” Nanako says.
“You shouldn’t joke about that!” Mimiko pouts.
“I’m not! I wouldn’t!” Haibara waves his hands around.
The twins share a look as the news settles into their minds.
Megumi’s never been the type to have a crush on anybody. They both just assumed that he was too quiet, too closed off to actually admit if he ever did have one. It was late though one night, when the twins, as well as Tsumiki, were playing video games with him, that he explained it to them.
He explained how he felt strange, how he felt different from everyone else. The three of them listened to his thoughts and waited patiently as he tried to articulate what he meant exactly.
They made him take quizzes online and asked him questions— at one point even filling them out for him after he got too embarrassed and began claiming this was all stupid.
Megumi’s sisters did quick research between the three of them, and came to the conclusion that he must be demisexual, although he shook his head at that, saying that giving it a name feels strange. Weird. His sisters nodded their heads in understanding. They never throw the word out, although they can all agree that this is the closest in definition to how he feels. What he feels.
With this in mind, as well as Megumi’s lack of interest in romance and dating in general it would seem, this is quite a shock. Quite the secret. The twins know how important Yuji is to him, and how close the two of them are, but— but they’re dating? Seriously?
“You promise you’re not lying?” Nanako accuses, glaring slightly.
“I promise!” Haibara throws his hands up in defense. “Why would I lie about this? Ieiri told me herself, and she heard it from Geto, who heard it from Gojo.”
“How did Dad find out first?” Nanako raises an eyebrow.
“He saw them kissing,” Haibara laughs a little nervously.
The twins gasp again. They share another look and then they’re squealing, holding each other closely and rocking back and forth with excitement. Haibara watches on and feels nice. The fact that he wasn’t supposed to share this with them escapes him.
“I can’t believe Megumi wouldn’t tell us about this!” Nanako groans, although her enthusiasm is ever evident. She quickly gets her phone out and her fingers begin flowing across the screen in record time.
“He was probably just embarrassed, Nanako,” Mimiko figures. “But yeah, what gives,” she groans as well.
Haibara’s attention gets drawn to Nanako’s phone. He watches as her eyes flit over the screen. She snickers to herself and then her fingers move even faster, perhaps tying something out.
“What’re you doing?” he asks, curious.
“Instagram,” she smiles.
“Nanako.” Mimiko frowns at her.
“What?” her fingers don’t stop moving even as she looks up at her sister.
“You didn’t,” Mimiko sighs, eyes closing.
“Didn’t wha—” Nanako pauses, gasping at herself as her fingers freeze. “Oh shit.” She places a hand over her mouth and looks at Haibara. “I’m sorry— I already posted it!”
“Posted what?” Haibara’s eyes widen.
Mimiko steals the phone from her sister and scans over the screen, frown deepening.
Several of Nanako’s followers have already seen and reacted to her story, which clearly states that Megumi and Yuji are now in a relationship. Her phone begins chiming as she gets texts as well, all with pretty much the same reactions, seeming surprised and curious and excited.
Nanako pulls the phone closer to her and Mimiko and her both hold it in their hands, reading over everything as they glance at each other nervously.
“Fuck,” they say in sync.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Kamo sighs as he walks down the hallway with Todo annoyingly talking into his ear, going on and on for the millionth time about some idol that he could not give less of a fuck about.
Miwa, Momo, and Mai are walking towards them from the other end of the hall, talking about something themselves. Mai’s head cranes back as she laughs out loudly and Kamo grimaces, figuring that he won’t care about whatever they’re speaking about, but deciding that anything is better than what Todo’s saying.
“What’s so funny?” Kamo asks.
The girls look up at him as they continue waking past. Mai’s laughter halts for a second and then she smiles, giggling again as she looks away.
“My cousin’s dating that Itadori kid.”
“What!” Todo’s gasp feels like that of an eruption due to its volume. Kamo feels the need to block his ears as he groans and he hears the same exasperated noises coming from the girls even as they walk further away.
“Hold on!” Todo calls out to them.
Kamo does place his hands over his ears now, bracing for impact.
“What?” Mai looks on with an unenthused glare.
“Are you saying that—” Todo pauses, like he can’t believe it— “Are you trying to say that my brother, Yuji Itadori—” Kamo rolls his eyes along with the girls— “Are you trying to say that him and Megumi Fushiguro are—”
“Yes, Todo, Jesus,” Mai scowls, placing her hands on Miwa and Momo’s backs to push them away with her.
Todo gasps out again and Kamo keeps his ears blocked. He swears the girls begin walking even faster if not doing a light jog now as they escape the hallway.
Todo’s sounds of surprise soon meld into that of wild and content laughter, as he stands proudly. Kamo can’t fight back his frown. Perhaps trying to talk to the girls at all was the worst thing he could have done in this situation.
Or maybe not, seeing as Todo gives him a quick goodbye as he yells how he “has to spread the good news”.
Kamo rolls his eyes again. Something told him today wasn’t a good day to visit Utahime. He should have stayed at his Clan.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
“Sensei!” Todo calls out as he pushes the door to a classroom open. “Do you know? Have you heard?”
“Have I heard what, Aoi?” Utahime raises an eyebrow, being caught off guard by his enthusiasm.
Todo’s head falls back with a boisterous laugh and she can’t help but smile at how excited he seems.
“Itadori’s dating Fushiguro!” He’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Oh, yeah. I knew that,” Utahime nods a little, smiling.
“Ah,” Todo, scratches the back of his head, laughing much softer now at himself. “Well, everyone else should know too!” He gives a thumbs up as he goes to step away from the room.
“I’m spreading the good news!”
“Uh, wait, Aoi—”
“Can’t wait, Sensei!” Todo calls from out in the hall. “The people need to know!”
Utahime stands there, stammering a little, feeling bad and also confused.
Shoko had called her just a few hours ago in the morning, saying that what she told her yesterday was supposed to be a secret but she had forgotten. Utahime shook her head at her but said she was lucky, since she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. Shoko sighed from relief and noted how that was good.
That couldn’t have even been more than four hours ago, so Utahime is confused as to how Todo’s found out.
Maybe they’re telling people now? No, that doesn’t make sense to her somehow. If Yuji told Todo himself then Todo should know not to share the information.
Someone must have let something slip somehow. Utahime knows it wasn’t her who did it, but she still feels bad anyway. She cringes for Megumi, recalling his nature and being able to determine that he’ll be pretty embarrassed once Todo’s rampage reaches Tokyo.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Megumi’s been feeling antsy for some reason all day. For the past two days, actually. He can’t pinpoint why. It’s like his ears are burning. He can feel someone talking about him— several people. He’s become haunted by the feeling.
Yuji tells him to relax before giving him a kiss and heading out for his mission that day. Megumi grumbles and still can’t settle down.
Yuji thinks that he’s just feeling paranoid, not being able to trust Gojo or Geto, and thinking that they’re sharing the news. But no, they wouldn’t do that. They promised. Even if they would be so stupid as to slip up and tell someone, Megumi figures that Shoko knowing would be okay. If they were going to tell someone else it would be Shoko. Surely she’s sensible enough to keep it to herself, so Megumi should feel fine about all of this. But he just doesn’t though.
The feeling stays with him all morning and then even later into the early afternoon. He bumps into Panda, who tells him that Yaga wants all the Sorcerers to meet up later for a simple announcement about something. This happens occasionally.
Maybe the Higher Ups have arranged something, or they’ve found potential students for the next semester, or there’s a disturbance with Tengen and his barriers. It could be something as small as rules or regulations changing. It’s nothing to get excited or alarmed about. It’s a formality that everyone can agree is annoying, but everyone affiliated with Jujutsu High is expected to be there.
Megumi grimaces a little from that thought alone. He already has this weird feeling and he thinks that being in a space surrounded by everyone will not help his worries lessen.
He’s pacing through the quad a bit listlessly, as he thinks this all over. This concern fades away into the back of his mind for later though, as he hears a loud thumping approaching him.
He turns his head, feeling alert and as if he needs to ready himself for an attack, when he clearly spots Todo storming towards him. Megumi’s eyes widen at how fast he’s running— at how he’s seemingly coming right at him!
Megumi braces for the impact, placing his arms in front of him as Todo crashes into him— hugging him tightly and picking him up, spinning him off the ground and into his arms— laughing all the while.
Megumi calls out loudly as he activates Rabbit Escape— almost on impulse— He’s pushed away from Todo’s grasp as he’s surrounded by shadows. He quickly expels the shikigami, as suddenly as he called upon them, but as the shadows settle, he sees that Todo is still firmly walking towards him.
“Stop!” Megumi holds his hand out, frowning.
“Fushiguro,” Todo frowns as well, acting as if his feelings are hurt. Always so overdramatic.
“You don’t have to act so cold towards me.”
I’m not, Megumi thinks, doesn’t bother to argue.
He doesn’t have a problem with Todo. Megumi would like to think he doesn’t have a problem with any of the Sorcerers he’s met. It’s just that Todo can be very aggressive and very spontaneous. He threatened to kill Megumi in his freshmen year simply because he didn’t approve of his “type”, and Panda and Inumaki had to stand in and break up their fight before it got any uglier than it already was.
Todo’s never acted hostile besides this, but any time he’s around, it’s as if a bomb might go off at any second. It’s as if he might get bored and decide to attack you for no particular reason other than that he just feels like it. Yuji’s somehow friends with him. Yuji could probably befriend anyone.
Megumi glares at him, taking a step back. He lowers his hands as he concludes that Todo isn’t trying to fight him, and is just acting strange. Although when isn’t he acting strange?
“If you’re looking for Itadori, he’s away on a mission right now—”
“I was actually looking for you,” he smiles widely.
“You were?” Megumi feels apprehensive.
Todo’s suspiciously gleeful laughter echoes throughout the quad. Megumi glances around in embarrassment, not wanting to be seen next to him.
Todo’s draping his arm over Megumi before he can react fast enough to pull away. He thinks to activate his technique again but he hesitates, looking up at Todo and frowning from how close they’re standing.
“Ideally, I’d want to find the both of you, but I’m much more interested in speaking with you, Fushiguro.”
“You are?” Megumi attempts to pull away. Todo only holds him closer. “Let go.”
“Fushiguro, why wouldn’t Itadori tell me?” Todo whines.
“You’re too close,” Megumi frowns. “Tell you what?” He’s so confused.
“Was he embarrassed? He should know that he can confide in his best friend— in his brother! He should know that he can tell me anything!”
“Tell you what? And you’re too close. Back off,” Megumi grimaces. He goes to push him away again but Todo just holds him even firmer, and ignores his words as if he literally can’t hear them. Megumi’s fingers twitch to activate his technique.
Todo grips him tightly by his shoulders suddenly, and stares him dead in the face. Megumi’s eyebrows crease as he looks back at him with clear unease.
“That you’re dating, of course,” Todo smiles and then he laughs, letting Megumi go finally.
Megumi inches away from him, putting some much needed space between them, and then he stumbles. His legs wobble. Todo’s head is thrown back laughing and Megumi glances around again, as if to check for hidden cameras.
This can’t be happening. Can it? How does Todo know? Why Todo? Out of everyone who could find out before they’re ready to tell people, Todo is almost at the top of the list.
“I’m so happy for you two,” Todo smiles widely. He looks as if he might cry, his eyes are tearing up. “I’ve misjudged you, Fushiguro. I always took you to be boring.” He chuckles to himself.
Megumi grimaces, twitching a little, feeling unsteady.
Todo’s laughter softens. Saying he’s amused would be the wrong phrasing. This isn’t like Gojo’s reaction, but more so akin to Geto’s. Todo seems, proud? Content? As if Yuji really is his little brother. As if this makes Megumi family now. Megumi’s eyes strain as he glares up at him, confused as to how he knows— upset by the fact that he knows.
“You take good care of my brother now, you hear?” Todo says, draping his arm over Megumi again and pulling him in close, speaking into his ear. Supposedly a threat? Megumi’s so confused. He doesn’t understand what’s happening.
“Get off,” he frowns.
“I know we don’t always see eye to eye, Fushiguro,” Todo continues, gripping Megumi’s shoulders again and staring into him. Megumi looks off to the side this time. “But we share Itadori in common. So that makes us family too!”
It really doesn’t, Megumi thinks to refute. It’d be pointless anyway.
Todo laughs again as he lets him go. Megumi glares at him as he inches himself away again. Thankfully, Todo begins walking back the way he came. Megumi sighs, greatly out of relief.
“Tell Itadori that I came by once you see him,” Todo waves, not looking back at him. “Oh—” He turns his head suddenly, glancing over his shoulder— “And your aunt says congratulations to the both of you!”
Megumi’s eye twitches as he grumbles, heavily annoyed. Todo’s referring to Yuki, who for some reason has always urged him and his sisters to call her their aunt. Megumi doesn’t understand it. He thinks Todo gets some of his lack of sense from her.
Todo’s giant frame soon grows out of sight, and Megumi is left alone in the quad again. His heart is beating rapidly due to his anxiety. He clutches his chest and curses lowly to himself.
Only Gojo and Geto and maybe Ijichi should know. They wouldn’t tell Todo, if they were actually going to break Megumi’s trust and tell anyone. So how the fuck did Todo find out? If he knows then that opens up the possibility of anyone else knowing too. In theory. In horrifying theory.
Megumi paces back and forth as he tries to think. He soon leaves the quad and then does some more pondering in his room. He’s left troubled with this feeling for a couple of hours. By the time his meeting with the other Sorcerers, as well as the staff, is about to begin, Yuji’s texting him saying he’s heading up the stairs leading into the school.
Megumi waits tentatively at the school’s gate for him. He sees him and Yuji waves, carefree as ever.
“Yo,” Yuji kisses his cheek.
Megumi blushes and glances around. No one’s here.
“Hi.” He doesn’t meet his gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Yuji’s smile fades a little. He can easily pick up on Megumi’s energy.
“Todo came by, when you were gone,” Megumi grumbles.
“Oh?” Yuji laughs a little, scratching at the back of his neck. “You just gotta ignore him, if he’s being weird—” He’s always being weird, Megumi thinks— “I know he can be a lot, but he means well—”
“He knows, Yuji,” Megumi sighs.
“He knows what?” Yuji tilts his head, confused.
Megumi holds his hands over his eyes as he sighs out louder. Yuji just tilts his head and rubs along Megumi’s arm, trying to act as a comfort. He’s sweet, but nothing can make Megumi calm down right now.
“He knows and I don’t know how many other people have found out too,” he groans.
“Found out what?” Yuji asks, even more confused.
“Yuji.” Megumi stares into him.
“What?” Yuji’s eyes are wide as he stares back.
Megumi grimaces. He suddenly remembers their meeting and then rolls his eyes. He grips Yuji tightly by his sleeve and pulls him along. Yuji stumbles forward, following after him.
“We’re gonna be late, come on.”
“Found out about what?” Yuji’s eyebrows raise.
He almost trips over himself as Megumi leads them. He blushes a little as he continues asking what’s going on— what happened— and Megumi shakes his head at how slow he’s being. He doesn’t feel like spelling it out, let alone reliving the moment of Todo’s gaudy laughter.
They reach the building that these types of meetings are held at. The room they’ll be using is a big one. It could easily fit the staff and students from both Jujutsu High prefectures if it had to. It’s for this reason that everyone stands in almost groups or cliques, leaving some gaps of space throughout the room.
Megumi’s family stands close together, talking between themselves. Nobara and his other former classmates are close by too, laughing about something quietly. Small conversations slew around as they wait for Yaga to show up.
Yuji and him are maybe one of the last two to get here, which only makes matters worse. It’s a bad look, Megumi thinks. A few people glance up as they walk further into the room, and Megumi avoids everyone's gazes.
Yuji and him stand close to the other former graduates and Yuji easily falls into whatever Nobara is saying. Megumi can’t pay attention to it. His eyes scan the room and it’s as if each time he looks over at someone, they turn away or laugh or dart their gaze somewhere that’s not at him.
Megumi glares as he looks between each and every one of the people he knows in the room. People who know him too well and who apparently can’t keep a fucking secret.
He grumbles low in his throat as he comes to the sudden and terribly terrifying conclusion that everyone knows. Gojo must have told someone else and then it spread— or he just told everyone all on his own! He straight up lied to him! Without any shame either! Megumi doesn’t know what to believe. He’s not sure which reality is worse!
He could be mad at Gojo and he is, but he’s also angry at all of them. If everyone knows, then they’re all just simply pretending to not be aware of it. What would happen when Megumi is ready to share the news? Would they all act surprised and happy for them? As if they hadn’t already known?
Megumi’s so incredibly pissed off. It’s like everyone’s staring at him, or trying not to stare at him— trying to make sure that he doesn’t catch them staring at him.
“Hey!” Megumi says, getting everyone’s attention— not being able to settle down his irritation— not thinking to wait until later to hash this out.
“If anyone has something that they want to say to me, then just say it!” He glares between them all.
Everyone stares back, seeming confused, abundantly, like he’s reading this all wrong.
Megumi deflates a little, upon seeing their reactions. He can feel himself blushing from the embarrassment and the sudden self awareness of his rude outburst. Especially in such a setting as this one. At least none of the staff are looking over at him. He starts to panic anyway though, thinking he should backpedal somehow, if that’s even possible at this point.
“Fushiguro, are you okay?” Nobara asks, seriously concerned.
“Dude…” Yuji whispers, raising an eyebrow at him.
Megumi looks between them all again and their confusion has collectively grown. He glances away, feeling stupid. He swallows harshly as he whispers back to Yuji,
“...I felt like everyone was staring at me.”
“Well we are staring at you now,” Maki says.
Megumi glares at her. She cocks an eyebrow at him.
“What gives, Megumi?” Maki shakes her head. “You’re not usually this grumpy before a meeting. Maybe after, sure. Who isn’t?” she scoffs.
It does feel like a waste of time, Inumaki signs.
“Wait,” Yuta speaks up, “is there something that we’re supposed to know?” he asks, clueless.
“No,” Megumi quickly answers, but Gojo answers along with him.
Megumi turns his death glare to him now as his eye twitches. A few eyes dart over to Gojo as well and he just laughs airily as he scratches along his neck.
“I’m so confused,” Nobara frowns.
Megumi begins sweating as he realizes that he had gotten into his own head too much. Maybe no one was even looking at him to begin with. Maybe no one even knows. He feels like an idiot.
Megumi shakes his head at Nobara. “It’s nothing. Forget it.”
“Oh. Wait,” Maki smiles evilly as she looks right into Megumi’s eyes.
Fuck. She does know somehow.
“Maki,” Megumi shakes his head, more of a warning than a plea.
Something sparks in her eyes as she stays staring at him. Trying to stop her is hopeless.
“You’re talking about the fact that you and Yuji are dating now.”
“What?” Nobara and Panda scream loudly, overpowering Yuta’s voice as he says what along with them. Inumaki is standing close beside him, mouth agape in surprise.
Maki jabs Panda in his side as she frowns at him. “Well don’t act so surprised when you’re the one who fucking told me.”
“Maki!” Megumi yells at her. She glances up at him as she continues to punch Panda in his side. “Why would you say that?” He clenches his teeth, looking around at the others and grimacing. His eyes land on Gojo and Geto who are snickering quietly together.
“You two!” He points at them. The twins are standing next to them and they jolt. They both quickly glance between Megumi and their dads.
“You fucking promised me you wouldn’t say anything!”
“That’s my bad, Megumi, sorry,” Shoko says, raising her hand.
“What?” Megumi turns his head to her, feeling taken aback.
“Well I was the one who told Shoko,” Geto explains. “But I told her,” he narrows his eyes, nudging her gently, “that it was a secret.”
“Which slipped my mind at the time. Sorry,” she shrugs.
“How does that slip your—” Megumi screams.
“Wait! So you two are actually dating?” Nobara cuts him off, pointing between Yuji and him, scowling.
Yuji parts his lips to say something but then he turns to Megumi first, as if asking for permission. Megumi sighs, trembling a little from the embarrassment. Everyone is staring now. He’s basically the one who outed himself, although Maki gets to take the real blame there.
“Why would you say that, Maki?” Why now and not earlier, since you’re clearly fine spilling it!
Maki glares at him, “Because you yelled at everyone. You need to calm down.”
Megumi shakes his head at her, scoffing. He places his face into his palm.
“No one cares, Megumi,” Maki frowns. It quickly shifts into a smile. “We’re happy for you, yeah, but you’re blowing this way out of proportion.”
“I’m sorry— Don’t act like this isn’t a big deal!” Nobara says, crossing her arms. Megumi looks up at her and then winces as she chops the top of his head. She shoots a glare at Yuji, hitting him as well. “Why am I one of the last people to find out! How did that happen?”
“I posted it earlier today,” Nanako shrugs, joining the chaos.
“And how’d you find out?” Megumi grimaces at her.
“I’m sorry,” Haibara smiles nervously.
“Haibara?” Megumi and Yuji say together. Megumi’s eyebrow twitches.
“Really?” Nanami shakes his head at him.
“I’m so sorry,” Haibara bows his head.
Megumi just stands there, not believing any of this. Yuji smiles, embarrassed, beside him.
“Well can we congratulate me, for not telling anyone?” Gojo jumps in.
“You told me,” Geto easily refutes.
“Shut up, you don’t count,” Gojo shakes his head.
“Nanako!” Megumi screams, choosing to aim his anger at her right now. There’s too many people in the room pissing him off. It’s a bit hard to pick who to yell at first. “You ‘posted it’? Posted what?”
“It was an accident,” both she and Mimiko say.
“Nanako practically did it off impulse, and then I deleted it for her,” Mimiko explains. “But it was already too late.”
“So I’m assuming Tsumiki knows then too?” Megumi concludes.
“Yep,” the twins nod.
“God dammit!” Megumi places his palm to his forehead.
Nobara groans as she holds her head too, dawning a similar stance to him— ruffling her hair up slightly. “The one day I don’t go on social media!”
“You can’t be mad at me!” Nanako yells. “You should have told us first!” She shoots daggers into him with her gaze.
“Yeah,” Mimiko nods. “What the hell?”
“How dare you not tell me! Either of you!” Nobara leans in closer to Megumi as well as Yuji. Both of them crane their heads away from her, trying to avoid her angry looks.
“Wait, so it’s really true then?” Yuta asks, still clearly confused. Inumaki wears a similar expression standing beside him.
“Yes,” over half of them all tell him.
Megumi cringes, and Yuta laughs gently at himself as Maki jabs him.
Megumi shakes his head. Gojo and Geto are in the corner with Shoko, all whispering and smiling. Nanami is scolding Haibara and sighing. Maki is trying to answer Yuta and Inumaki’s questions as they’re both seemingly five steps behind everyone else and taken off guard.
Megumi doesn’t think he can be in this room anymore.
His sisters, as well as Nobara, grow closer to Yuji and him, invading their personal space, talking over each other, bombarding them with questions, and accusations— but they’re mainly targeted towards him and not Yuji for some reason— and he couldn’t keep up with it all even if he wanted to— even if he tried.
Megumi sighs out loudly as he does something he doesn’t tend to do.
He leans backwards into the wall as he lets himself get wrapped up by shadows. He can hear the girls’ confused and angry grumbles as they call out to him, telling him to come back, but he ignores them.
His technique can be pretty useful, even in non combat scenarios. It's a waste of cursed energy though, in his mind. Whereas someone like Gojo is fine using his technique willy-nilly to irritate or at times amuse people, Megumi doesn’t prefer using his unless he absolutely has to.
This is dire though. He figures that using it to escape everyone is fine. Even though Yaga should be there soon to start their meeting, Megumi just can’t care about that anymore.
He’s so embarrassed. He’s so shaky. He runs through the shadows until he makes it to the other side of the school. He crouches down and leans into a wall, falling along it and sitting once he hits the ground. He curls up into himself and hides his face in his arms and knees.
No one should follow him. Even though the meeting isn’t important, no doubt, it’d still be rude to leave. Megumi’s being rude. Maki was right. This isn’t as big of a deal as he feels like it is. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s embarrassed, that he can’t get his blush to settle.
He can hear someone’s soft footsteps approaching, and he would recognize that sound along with that light cursed energy flow anywhere. Megumi sighs.
“... Itadori.”
“Fushiguro,” Yuji smiles.
“Are you alone?” He keeps his face buried.
“Yeah, it’s just me.” Yuji walks over, turning the corner of the small building Megumi’s placed himself against. He slides down the wall and sits beside him. Megumi trembles as Yuji puts his arm around his shoulders and brings him closer.
“... I’m so embarrassed,” he whispers. He doesn’t even have to say it. It’s obvious. Yuji knows.
“I know, Megumi.” He grips his shoulder firmly. He rubs along his sleeve. “It’s only embarrassing if you let it be, you know.”
“Okay, well I’m letting it be,” Megumi groans. “I don’t know how to not let it be.” He curls into himself more, not wanting to come out of this position and face the real world. “Everyone knows. Literally everyone… It was supposed to be us who told them.”
“I know, Megumi, I know.” Yuji rubs along his arm.
“This is so stupid,” he shakes his head.
“Well, hey, at least it’s all over and done with now, right?” Megumi can hear the smile in his voice.
“... Right.”
Yuji squeezes his arm and Megumi suddenly really misses him. It’s a weird feeling to have. Yuji’s right beside him, sitting so close, but Megumi misses him somehow still anyway.
He finally pulls his head back up and he stares into Yuji’s face. Yuji’s smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Will ever see. Megumi knows this without a doubt.
“There he is,” Yuji’s smile grows.
Megumi can’t help but smile too. “... Here I am...” He looks away from him, frowning a little.
He’s happy that everyone knows, but the way that they found out is nowhere near ideal. He bets that Yuji is even happier than he is, seeming as he was ready for everyone to find out beforehand.
“... They’re going to drown us later, with questions,” Megumi tells him.
“I know,” Yuji nods. “They were already doing that before you left. And then the twins and Kugisaki turned to me, and started screaming for me to bring you back.”
“Is that what you’re doing? Bringing me back?”
“No,” Yuji smiles sweetly. “I would have come to get you regardless.” He leans his head closer to him along the wall. “We don’t even have to go back to the meeting. It’s gonna be something stupid anyway.”
“It always is,” Megumi agrees.
The two of them sit there in silence for a moment. It’s warm and comfortable, and Megumi thinks to himself that he has so many things that he wants to say to Yuji, so many thoughts that he wants to share with him.
How he always makes him feel better, no matter what the situation is. How he always misses his laugh when he’s not around— that when something funny happens he looks to his left, expecting to see him there, standing beside him smiling.
How he wishes he could take him everywhere, like one of his shikigami, just summon him and then have him by his side. He’d never expel him. He’d never send him away. He doesn’t think such a thing would be possible. His cursed energy would run out— run far too low, far too quick.
Megumi wants to tell Yuji these things and so much more. But none of these things are different. None of this is new.
Yuji likes him. Megumi likes Yuji. This is obvious. It goes without saying. That doesn’t mean Megumi can’t— doesn’t, want to tell him anyway though.
“I like you so much, Yuji,” Megumi tells him.
Yuji’s eyelashes flutter at him. He stares into him and the warmth of his gaze is too smothering, too sweltering, too intense. Megumi doesn’t look away from it though, he can’t. And he won’t. Not ever.
“I like you so much more, Megumi.”
Not possible. It’s simply just not.
Megumi smiles at him, shaking his head lightly. He wants to be enveloped in Yuji forever. He wants to live inside Yuji like a shadow. He wants to phase into his skin and stay there. He wants their hearts to brush against each other. He wants their souls to merge.
Megumi’s pulling closer towards him before he even knows what he’s doing. Yuji leans into the motion and their lips meet gently.
Yuji always kisses him sweet and tender, and Megumi likes him far too much. He likes Yuji for everything but then he also gets pissed off at him. He’s pissed at him for kissing so light, especially when he didn’t just a few days ago.
Megumi knows now. He knows for certain now that Yuji is holding back. He doesn’t know why. He’s scared to ask, to bring anything up about this side of their relationship. The thought begins to trail away as he falls further into his lips anyway.
“... Megumi,” Yuji says, faintly. Megumi pushes forward, thinking he can elevate the kiss. Yuji doesn’t match the slight change in tempo and then Megumi draws back, he moves slower again.
“Megumi… not everyone knows.”
“What?” Megumi stifles a little, confused slightly. Yuji’s lips leave his and Megumi blinks, not understanding.
“Not everyone knows yet,” Yuji says, shaking his head softly.
Megumi tilts his head as he tries to go through the list of people who they’d care about knowing. Yuji takes his arm back from around his shoulders and he stands. He sticks his hand down for Megumi and he takes it, letting Yuji pull him up.
“Come on. Let's go tell him. Together.” Yuji nods away from the building they were leaning against as he starts tugging Megumi along with him.
Megumi holds his hand tighter as he walks beside, not bothering to ask where they’re going, as he thinks he figures it out.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
The sky’s dripping a pretty orange over the cemetery as Yuji and Megumi walk along the path. Megumi glances down at the various nameplates, and notes the different things left behind. Mostly flowers. Some pastries or cakes here and there.
Yuji had them buy a small cake before coming. They reach his grandfather’s mantel and stop walking. Megumi holds Yuji’s hand in his, and he cranes his neck up to look at his expression.
Yuji’s calm, smiling tiredly as he reads over the words on the grave. Megumi hums and smiles faintly as well.
He never got to meet him. He died the day that Megumi came into Yuji’s life. Yuji’s joked about it before. Whenever he does mention his grandfather, it’s typically in a joking manner.
Megumi likes when Yuji talks about him. Yuji never speaks about his parents, simply because he never knew them and thus doesn’t hold any real emotions towards them. Megumi’s the same with his own biological parents. He fails to see the point in thinking of them. Although, he does feel differently about Yuji’s parents. They do spike his curiosity.
Yuji’s grandfather raised him though. He might as well have been his father in a way. Megumi can’t fully sympathize with whatever Yuji must feel. He’s never had to handle death in this way. Not someone he knew so personally. Not someone so close.
Yuji can get depressed about it. He’ll laugh though, and say his grandpa would lecture him for acting so sentimental. And he hasn’t apologized, not in a long time, about grieving over him. He’s thanked Megumi, in fact. Saying he makes him feel so normal about this. Makes it feel okay.
Sometimes Yuji will go quiet in regards to this. A fond sort of sadness, Megumi thinks. It’s always warm when Yuji talks about him, when Yuji brings Megumi with him to see him like this.
It’s as if his spirit is in the air. His essence or presence. Maybe his soul. It’s a nice feeling that lingers a little after talking about him, after talking to him, after visiting him.
“Hey, grandpa,” Yuji sighs, casual. “I brought you a cake.” He lifts the box up, as if in a gesture. Like his grandfather can see it. “As well as some cool news,” he smiles.
“Cool news?” Megumi shakes his head with a grin.
Yuji laughs softly and elbows his side. “Yeah, see grandpa, Fushiguro is the news.” He shakes his head at himself. He clears his throat, like this is difficult, like he needs to ready his words. “I know I’ve introduced him before, but, well I’ve got to do it again.”
Yuji smiles widely as he looks down at the nameplate. Megumi rubs circles into the back of his hand with his thumb, patiently waiting for him to go on. Gently encouraging him.
“Grandpa…” Yuji pauses, face flushing slightly. “Fushiguro and I are dating now. He’s my boyfriend,” he laughs faintly, maybe a bit nervous. Megumi thinks he’s adorable.
“Now, I know if you were here you would probably say ‘I don’t care about that’ or something,” Yuji shakes his head, laughing a little. “But, well, well I care. So, yeah.” Yuji’s blush grows a bit more as he scratches behind his ear.
“Um…” Yuji looks around, somewhat fidgety.
His eyes meet Megumi’s and Megumi smiles at him, squeezing his hand and trying to push him to continue. Yuji smiles back though and Megumi somehow figures that he’s done. He’s said all he has to say.
“Um, Fushiguro, did you wanna,” Yuji pauses again. He purses his lips as he glances away for a moment. “Did you…” Yuji’s words trail off but he nods down at the grave.
Megumi hums, understanding. He looks down as well, and asks himself if he has something to say to his grandfather but comes up blank. His eyes meet Yuji’s again and he shrugs. Yuji laughs lightly.
“Did you, want to have a moment alone or?” Megumi isn’t sure if Yuji’s joking or not but then he hardens his resolve, deciding that he doesn’t care if Yuji really meant it or not, because he actually would like a moment alone with him.
“Yeah, actually,” he nods.
“Oh.” Yuji’s eyebrows raise with a smile and Megumi can’t push his smile down either.
“Alright then, grandpa.” Yuji turns back to the grave. “Imma leave this here for you.” He sets the cake down and idles for a moment, just smiling down at the mantel. He turns to Megumi and squeezes his hand. He looks back down and waves at his grandfather.
“Be seeing you.” Yuji begins walking back down the path but hums as he turns back to face Megumi. “I’ll just be at the end right here,” he points.
“Okay,” Megumi calls back at him.
Yuji smiles at him before turning back around. Megumi watches him for a moment before directing his attention down again, and looking over the mantel.
Wasuke Itadori.
Megumi wishes he could have met him. Yuji claims that his grandfather was stubborn and short-tempered. Nobara laughed upon hearing such a description, claiming that it sounded like Megumi. Megumi grumbled at the time but then held back any retorts, as he figured that would have just proven her right.
Yuji’s said he thinks Megumi and his grandfather would have gotten along. Megumi thinks they would have too. It does take him a while to warm up to people, but Yuji’s grandfather feels special, similar to Yuji himself.
He’s Yuji’s only family. He was all Yuji had before he joined Jujutsu High and met the others. Megumi feels extremely grateful for him, to him, for raising Yuji, for taking care of him when it wasn’t his job to.
After Yuji’s parents died, that didn’t exactly mean his grandfather would have to watch over him. He could have been selfish if he wanted to.
Megumi understands this better than anyone. His own father abandoned him. Sold him off to a Clan and forgot about him, along with his sister.
Just because he was Yuji’s grandfather didn’t mean he had to help at all. But he did.
Megumi smiles to himself. Yuji jokes a lot about him, but he can tell that he holds him in high regard. Megumi pictures his grandfather as a good person. Yuji said that the last thing he told him was that he should die surrounded by people, was that he shouldn’t end up like him. That Yuji should save people, help others. Megumi thinks this is an interesting sentiment to leave someone with before you die, but it’s also a very telling one.
Yuji’s grandfather’s last thought was about him. His last wish was for Yuji to find people who care about him. Megumi doesn’t know if any form of an afterlife is real, or how the logistics of any of that actually works, but if Yuji’s grandfather is watching or somehow aware of things on earth from somewhere, Megumi just wants him to know…
“We’re taking good care of him…” Megumi stares down at the mantel and he feels that warmth spreading around his shoulders that he often gets when they visit him, when they talk about him. He can’t hold back his smile as he bows slightly.
“I’ll take good care of your grandson, I promise.” He bows a bit lower, before standing normally again.
He looks over at Yuji and he’s rocking back and forth on his heels, looking around at nothing in particular. Megumi feels something swelling in his heart. He feels something aching in his chest.
He wants to be with Yuji forever. This is nothing new. Not anything different. Yuji’s gaze meets his and something in his eyes changes. Megumi can still tell even from the distance.
Yuji waves cutely. Megumi shakes his head at him with a smile. He knows Yuji wants to be with him forever as well. Nothing new. Not anything different. Not at all.
Megumi looks back down at the grave, not knowing what to say anymore or if he should say a type of goodbye. He normally doesn’t say anything to him when they visit. He just stands beside Yuji and accompanies him. Megumi sighs faintly, thinking to copy Yuji’s phrasing.
“Be seeing you.”
He walks back down along the path and Yuji takes his hand in his excitedly as they continue on. Their fingers lacing together, a perfect fit.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Megumi sits close next to Yuji in the commons room of the dorms, with the others. Some show is playing on the TV but no one seems to be interested in it as all of their attention is instead focused on Yuji and him, as Nobara and the twins begin dog-piling them with questions.
It’s annoying, but they can’t escape it. Megumi was anticipating this. But he doesn’t know how much more he can take.
“So Megumi confessed first?” Nobara asks, seemingly in disbelief.
“Uh, less so ‘confessed’, more like,” Yuji falters on his words for a second, looking far away in thought, perhaps thinking on how to explain it. “More like, clarified, I guess.”
“Clarified.” Nobara echoes, shaking her head.
“You’re both idiots,” Maki sighs. “I had a feeling you two had a thing for each other since your freshman year.”
“Everyone did,” Nanako rolls her eyes.
Even the staff, Inumaki signs.
“I don’t wanna hear it from you when you were so surprised,” Maki calls Inumaki out, hitting him on the shoulder lightly. “I feel like the only ones who didn’t know, were you two.” She points between Megumi and Yuji. “And Yuta.”
“I’m not the best at picking up on this stuff.” Yuta scratches at the back of his neck.
“I think we always knew that we liked each other,” Yuji starts up again. “We just never, well, you know.”
“Talked about it?” Nanako offers.
“Y—Yeah, I guess,” Yuji shrugs.
“Idiots,” Nobara groans.
“Saying that I didn’t know would be an understatement,” Megumi mumbles, eyebrows furrowing. “I wasn’t exactly thinking of romance the day I found Itadori.”
“Okaaay, but you did think he was handsome though, right?” Nanako asks, tilting her head.
“What?” Megumi gripes, staring at her confusedly.
“Yeah, isn’t that why you were so adamant about wanting to save him? Because you thought he was cute?” Mimiko adds.
Megumi’s face flushes as he looks away from his sisters, as well as everyone else.
“No, you idiot! I can’t just want to save someone because they’re an innocent bystander?”
All of his friends look at him strangely, before throwing out various iterations of disagreement.
No.
Nah.
Not really.
Doesn’t sound like you.
Maybe more like Itadori.
Yuji laughs awkwardly next to him, blushing a little as well. Megumi grumbles as he remains averting his gaze from their prying looks.
“But you did think he was cute at sooome point,” Nanako teases, smiling like this is all so amusing.
Clearly, Megumi thinks to say. He’s too embarrassed.
“I’m not gonna give you our whole—” his brain stifles as he isn’t sure what to call their story. He thinks to say love story and then definitely decides against that, “—s—story.”
“Well someone’s gotta,” Nanako says, gaze flitting to Yuji slowly.
Everyone else turns their heads to look at him as well and Yuji blinks a little, perhaps being taken aback at having the heat on him so suddenly, and for a task as big as explaining the story of their relationship— of how it grew, or developed, or whatever you’d want to call it.
“Um,” Yuji laughs gently, face turning redder, glancing away from them all. “This is kind of embarrassing.”
“Now you know how I feel,” Megumi mutters. All the time.
“Well, what do you guys wanna know? Starting from when?” Yuji scratches at the top of his hair.
“How about the beginning, Itadori?” Nobara looks on, seemingly annoyed at him.
“Ah, right,” Yuji laughs at himself. “That’s a good place to start.” He giggles a bit more.
Megumi rolls his eyes, asking himself how he’s fallen for someone like Yuji. But then the thought rattles immediately. The answer is obvious.
“It was actually at my old school. The one I was at before Jujutsu High. I had been challenged by this teacher to—”
Yuji is stupid, but in a charming way. He’s too soft and too easygoing, yet he’s very aware of the world around him. He sees the good in others. He believes in people to a fault. Even when he shouldn’t.
He’s not only an optimist, but also a realist somehow. He’s not stupid when it counts. Megumi’s always admired this about him. He can’t act in this same way. Him and Yuji are very different. Megumi’s always liked this a lot about them too.
“—I knew I’d win, no doubt. I really didn’t wanna be stuck behind at school at some club, and my friends were surprised at the time, because I guess—”
Megumi’s nowhere near being an optimist, but he wouldn’t call himself a pessimist either. He’s definitely a lot more negative than Yuji is. He believes that they balance each other out. Megumi fills in the holes that Yuji’s often missing— helps Yuji stand back and see the clearer picture.
Yuji does this exact thing too, for Megumi as well. Showing him that things aren’t always as bad as they seem. Showing him that there are different approaches, multiple ways of looking at and doing things.
“—and as they were talking, I— I felt someone’s eyes on me. I looked past my friends and, well, that’s the first time I saw him—”
Yuji doesn’t settle. He’s grounded and steadfast in what he says, in what he thinks. He knows what he wants and he gets it. He always goes for a homerun. Megumi would like to be just as stubborn as him, in an equal manner. And even if he isn’t, he can still be difficult in his own way. But neither of them have ever misunderstood the other’s convictions, the other’s reasonings.
Despite being so different, they still comprehend each other so well, can still get along so easily. Megumi’s always, always liked this the most maybe. He maybe likes this the most when it comes to the plethora of things that he’s grown to love about Yuji— when it comes to the plethora of things that he’s found he enjoys about him.
“—We just stared at each other for a moment. I was a little confused. I was trying to figure out if I had seen him somewhere before, but then he turned away—”
Megumi doesn’t have a word or phrase that’s all encompassing enough to match Yuji. His nature, his personality, his looks— just what he is. Who he is. Just what he makes Megumi feel. Simple, warm, and complete. Like the world makes sense in the most non-confusing, non-draining way. Like it’s easy. Like everything is easy.
“—I didn’t think I’d see him again, but then, suddenly, out of no where—”
But also like the world is breaking, ending, about to fall to pieces. Yuji makes Megumi feel a lot of things, so many things. Perhaps too many things. And the feelings grow and tangle and seep, down and down, somewhere deep along Megumi’s intestines.
“—That day felt really hectic at the time, but that was the start—”
Somewhere that Megumi doesn’t— that Megumi knows no one else has ever resided in before except for Yuji.
He makes Megumi feel like he should be alive. Like he has a purpose in this world and that purpose includes being with Yuji, being by his side, staying with him, holding him, kissing him, saying his name, laughing at his jokes, keeping him company, being whatever he wants and needs. Always. Forever.
Megumi doesn’t exactly know why he likes Yuji. It’d be like asking why you breathe air. It’s just a necessity at this point. It’s only natural. It can’t be helped. It just makes sense.
Megumi can and he will list off the many reasons why he’s fallen for Yuji. Toss and mix them all into a happy hot-pot of wild and confusing and exhilarating emotions. But everything rubs together and sizzles.
Megumi likes Yuji because he likes him. All his traits and everything they’ve been through comes into play, but even if their story were completely different, Megumi knows he’d never be able to resist the pull that is Yuji Itadori.
No matter what timeline you put him in or whatever universe or reality, Megumi is going to fall in love with Yuji in every single one. In every simulated event. In every hypothetical. There isn’t a hypothetical that exists where he doesn’t, which is a paradox and shouldn’t make any logical sense.
If there’s an unlimited amount of possibilities, there has to be at least one where Megumi doesn’t feel this way— where these emotions don’t wrap around him and bleed into his skin.
But there just isn’t a possibility where Megumi isn’t Yuji’s. Where what he feels is anything different from what it is.
It’s paradoxical, sure. Megumi doesn’t believe in fate and now he believes in paradoxes. He believes in Yuji. He believes in himself, in how they make each other feel. And that feels like the end of the world. Something cataclysmic.
Maybe that’s what it means to be someone’s boyfriend. It’s what it means for Megumi anyway. Yuji makes him feel paradoxical. He’s a solar eclipse. Something bold and bright and blinding, and Megumi would stare into him until his eyes bleed.
This has maybe always been the case. Megumi has no idea when such a statement wasn’t true. If it ever really wasn’t.
“—and the rest is, well, really embarrassing, so… and you guys were all there for the most part anyway.”
“I wasn’t there when you two kissed by the vending machines,” Nanako smirks.
Nobara chokes on her water as she spits out slightly, “What?”
“You mean when Satoru caught them making out by the vending machines,” Maki grins.
“We weren’t ‘making out’,” Megumi clenches his teeth. “We don’t ‘make out’.”
“You don’t?” Nanako raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t y’all dating?”
“We are,” Megumi glares at her. “You make it sound like we’re preteens or something.”
“I’m sorry, I think we’re glossing over the fact that Gojo is the one who caught them,” Nobara notes.
Yikes, Inumaki signs.
“If my Dad caught me making out with someone, I think I’d just die,” Nobara laughs a little.
“Stop calling it that,” Megumi shakes his head. And what Dad?
“Ugh, this is so gross though,” Nobara grimaces, dawning a disgusted look all of a sudden. “I don’t want to even see you two holding hands, okay? Keep that shit to yourselves.” She shivers, like such a thought is scary. It kind of is. Anyone else seeing them kiss at least. Megumi thinks that Gojo is the most unfortunate candidate though.
Yuji sweetly places his hand over Megumi’s along the floor, directly going against Nobara’s words. Her expression shifts quickly again, a mix of disgust but also anger now. She swats Yuji’s hand away from Megumi’s, leaving Yuji shaking his hand off a little, no doubt from the subtle sting of her strike.
“What’d I just say?” she glares.
“He’s my boyfriend,” Yuji shoots a mean look right back at her. He wraps his arms around Megumi and tugs him closer, causing Megumi to fall against his chest slightly. “I can touch him if I want to.”
“Please don’t say it like that. Please.” Nobara grimaces.
Everyone else giggles, trying to snicker quietly at first but then failing as their laughter grows. Nobara scoffs, not joining in, and Yuji cranes his head around, confused, not picking up on the suggestiveness of what he’s said.
Megumi’s blushing. He wants to hide his face somewhere but he can’t think of a good way of doing so right now. Yuji’s chest seems like the perfect spot, but cuddling up to Yuji even more than he practically already is would be embarrassing.
Megumi doesn’t know how to pull away from him though, now that Yuji’s got him pressed beside him like this. Moving away seems almost not viable. Not even an option.
Megumi sighs as he settles more into his chest. He hides, not caring how much warmer his face feels, just trying to ignore everyone’s laughter and melt into Yuji’s embrace.
Yuji must get it at some point, or their laughter just gets too contagious as he starts giggling along as well. His chest vibrates slightly with the feeling. The sensation drums against Megumi’s face.
The sound bounces into Megumi’s ears. He presses into Yuji a bit more, being able to clearly pick up the sound of his heartbeat, and Megumi knows that there’s no better place in the world for him to be.
He belongs here. With his friends. With his family. Next to Yuji. Especially next to Yuji. So close like this, that he can feel his heart. So close like this, that he can feel his chest rise and fall as he’s laughing.
Megumi wants to be as close to Yuji as possible. He feels closer with him now, more than he ever has before. It almost shouldn’t be possible, that his feelings for Yuji get stronger with every passing day.
Megumi shakes his head at himself, leaning into Yuji more, a small smile coming onto his face.
It’s truly nothing different. Nothing different at all.