Work Text:
Its Friday, but his seniors had him take a rare day off, urging him to get out of here for a bit and idk socialize, which mean—but Supervisor Park Minseong had quickly sent off an explanatory text too. Now that he looks back on it, wasn’t Kim Soleum too embarrassing?
Greetings Roe Deer,
Upon careful deliberation and input from senior members of Squad D, it has been proposed for Kim Soleum-ssi to be granted a paid leave for one day.
As such, we recommend a day off and discourage Kim Soleum-ssi to coming in the office today.
Employee Lee Jaheon
Squad Leader
D Squad
Getting emails at midnight. Well, that's surely not a first for him.
His previous job, in his original world, would send him mails at some odd hour, but never did it send a message for a leave?? Paid?? DAYDREAM???
As if wanting to confirm the world was still alive, he quickly messaged the group chat. They'd gone drinking, in stead of Kim Soleum himself, and were likely awake.
If Kim Soleum woke up with his head in his hands that was his business and his business alone. He’d even made sure Braun was turned the other way so that the Good Friend Doll couldn’t catch him lacking— er, lamenting.
Turns out, even in a world crawling with Ghost Stories, online culture remains pretty much the same. The same jokes, slang, online context and just about everything else about social media is as he remembers it.
He supposes some things just don’t change, regardless of the state of the world.
Kim Soleum is lounging on their couch, head tilted back and legs thrown up in the air with gold spilling onto his face from the half covered window. The fan cools down his skin, pleasant touches which leave as soon as they come making him melt into his place of rest.
It’s a bit nostalgic like this.
Decidedly bored, and with nothing quite to do, he decides to scroll back down on his Twitter—X, as some money hungry people call it—account and look at few things. After all, it’d been a while.
“Soleum-ya, are you awake? I brought some popsicl—”
“Saheon-ya. What’s wrong? Come sit. ”
Baek Saheon just stared at him for a few minutes before quickly putting their ice cream in the freezer. He came back in almost a daze, sitting beside Kim Soleum and pulling him up a bit. Their position like this was as if they were hugging. Which. Well. Getting hugged by a twi— by a cute man in the late afternoon in your shared dorms is definitely a feeling.
“Soleum-ya, don’t go out like this, please. ”
Okay that sounded like a trashy male lead’s obsessive dialogue but this was the cuter and more human Viper so that’s okay. Pretty privilege is real and thriving.
“?? Okay, I won’t. I was actually looking at some of my Twitter posts. Wanna go through them together?”
“Of course! We can also go through mine. ”
They ended up settling comfortably and Kim Soleum put his head in Baek Saheon's lap and they started to scroll together.
(1.)
deergrapes
@iwanttogohome
someone stole my hoodie again
6 Retweets 45 Quote Tweets 89 Likes
anaxa @doconcrack · May 8, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
"stole"
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educated freak 
@yourdadactually · May 8, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
????? WHOA WHOA CALM DOWN??
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mizisua4life @iwantyuri · May 8, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
In the person's defense, it likely smells like him.
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deergrapes @iwanttogohome · May 8, 2024 Replying to @iwantyuri
what sort of defense is that??
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dr.grace's glasses @phmispeak · May 8, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
excuse me wdym again. like. sir??
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“Ah, this… ”
It was one of his older posts, posted online to get help and advice from people who’d gone through the same predicament as him. Though it was a honest post, the replies had ended up being…quite something else.
“This…”
For some reason, Beak Saheon looked conflicted. His eyebrows pulled together for a bit and he looked away as if thinking about something. He wanted to smoothen out the brunette face, but seeing various expressions dance across his lover’s face was, as always, a treat.
On the other hand, Baek Saheon was drowning in waves of shame. That post was a result of the start all of that, wasn’t it? It felt too much to look down at the man in his lap right now, who was no doubt thinking about something silly in that pretty little head of his.
“Saheon-ya, what’s up? You look a bit.”
“A bit?”
“A bit constipated.”
“This guy—!”
He looked down only to find a blinding grin on his psycho lover’s face. It was really unfair that the ‘dopamine junkie' was so good looking. To Baek Saheon, it felt like a cat staring at him intensely.
“Saheon-ya?”
“Ah fine! I was thinking about…you know…that day.”
He pulled Kim Soleum up, and moved their bodies so that their weight was on the sofa. Looking at his roommate's inquisitive expression was only going to spell trouble for him.
“The day you took my hoodie, you mean?”
“Aren’t you too cheeky right now?”
“Well, of course.”
Kim Soleum smiled. Getting a rise out of this tsundere guy really was too easy. He had the urge to jump. Chomp. Eat Baek Saheon’s cheek. It was a funny image. He giggled, slightly.
“This guy… sigh. Actually, it’s a funny story.”
“Hm?”
“The reason I took your hoodie...I thought it was meant for me.”
“Huh?”
Seeing the top rookie of multiple organizations be reduced to a confused mess was too endearing to watch. It was like witnessing an aquatic animal and a terrestrial animal meet for the first time. Involuntarily, Baek Saheon smiled a little.
“If you laugh, I’ll leave you. I thought we were already in a relationship at that point.”
You know how in cartoons light bulbs glow over a character’s head when they have an Eureka! moment? Well, seeing Kim Soleum right now was exactly the human version of that.
“What—?”
Kim Soleum almost did a double take. Did he hear that right? That calculating guy thought they were in a relationship and so took his hoodie???????
What sort of shitty romcom was this, anyway?
“To be exact! It was because we’d come out of that Darkness and I was— I don’t know. I thought we were. You know.”
Just how many people’s dreams was he living right now? Seeing Baek Saheon being reduced to a sputtering mess, I mean. For some reason, that got him to laugh.
“You thought we were together because—what, an old person wanted to see us together? Saheon-ya, aren’tyou more pathetic than I thought?
“You—! It was your fault too! Why’d you keep dropping hints like that? Hey, hey! Don’t laugh! Kim Soleum!”
By that point, Kim Soleum was already laughing to a good health.
“Okay, okay. Ah. Haha, sorry sorry. No, really. Look at the replies! Seems like they knew before we di— okay okay we’ll move on!”
Wasn’t this turning out to be a good day?
Anyway, they scrolled a bit more and somehow ended up on Baek Saheon's side of Twitter.
(2.)
apples of green
@goatofgoats
made some eel soup
2 Retweets 43 Quote Tweets 102 Likes
Mints @goralssavelives · Jun 17, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
for whom?
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apples of green @goatofgoats · Jun 17, 2024 Replying to @goralssavelives
none of your business.
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(^^) @iloveyaoi · Jun 17, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
You can see someone reflected in the spoon??? IT LOOKS LIKE A GUY???
(there is no spoon. I am delusional)
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guwon | 91 @onlyreader · Jun 17, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
I am willing to bet hundred bucks this guy burned the first batch and almost cried
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“Ah. At this point, I met Go Youngeun on Twitter.”
“Ah? Go Youngeun-ssi? It’d taken me a while to actually share our socials with her.”
“You exchanged it in-person? We just used the group chat.”
“Oh…”
For some reason, a stormy expression formed on Kim Soleum’s face. It looked like he didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, and honestly, such expressiveness still scared Baek Saheon.
I mean, what the hell does it mean when the guy you thought was an emotionless psycho freak is actually a person with emotions, feelings and is someone so full of life its as if a star has made residence in Baek Saheon’s black, murky heart?
Honestly, Baek Saheon really wanted to wipe that expression away and kiss him silly.
“I wanted to show off my boyfriend to everyone.”
“Ah, I see— wait what.”
He couldn’t do that, as it was a rare day off for both of them together and he didn’t want to ruin soft time, so he did the next best thing.
He blurted out whatever came to mind.
“Look at the timestamps. This one’s of June. The previous one was from May, right?”
“Uh-huh…”
“Well, eel soup’s not super recognizable outside of Korea, so this was more a soft launch. But I really wanted to show off my lover.”
“The lover you thought you had. Is that why you made me have that eel soup? Saheon-ya.”
Kim Soleum had recovered enough to joke with him, this time adding a flirty tone to his words. Baek Saheon smiled unknowingly.
“Well, you went off into a Darkness that time. But you won’t this time, will you?”
“..!”
The redness spread to his neck, and the one-normal-eyed man cocked his head slyly.
“What? Soleum-ya.”
“You’re really shameless, you know that?”
Kim Soleum took back whatever sappy things he said. This guy was still Viper! A sly, opportunistic, evil snake who was going to run Kim Soleum dry and run away with all his youthful pallor!!
He took the phone from his boyfriend’s untrustworthy, no good hands and scrolled far up.
Another one of Baek Saheon’s post.
(3.)
apples of green
@goatofgoats
what do you do when he keeps falling asleep on the couch
9 Retweets 16 Quote Tweets 425 Likes
educated freak @yourdadactually · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
And??? What’s wrong that??
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apples of green @goatofgoats · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @yourdadactually
wdym what's wrong. His neck will hurt.
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mizisua4life @iwantyuri · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
I CAN’T KEEP DEFENDING YOU MAN
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dr.grace's glasses @phmispeak · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
WHY ARE YOU WATCHING HIM SLEEP???
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The Fool In Yellow @kleinlarper · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @phmispeak
He’s got a roommate buddy. Boy LIVES there.
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Moonpuppy617 @shiguangontop · Oct 21, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
THAT DOES NOT HELP?? I JUST WENT DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WHYS HE NOT IN BED WITH YOU ALREADY??
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“…”
“Well, look at that.”
The brunette’s face had turned fully red by now, eye flickering from the wall to ceiling to the carpet. It was almost like he was guilty of something, but Kim Soleum knew that if such was the case it would’ve been much harder for him to find out.
The ruthless efficiency of Baek Saheon, Viper or not, was no joke.
Suppressing a shiver, the taller man turned away and put his head on his heads, which were put together in lieu of prayer. With a serious expression on his face, Kim Soleum wondered:
‘How did I bag a named character, who’s a 9/10 with issues, without even knowing. wtf. Is this what they call a skill issue?'
“It seems our regulars were…rooting? For us.”
Welp, that’s something. Something embarrassing—
“Ah well. If you post something like that consistently, judging from the timestamp, then people are bound to say things.”
“But, isn’t this too straightforward?”
“…Baek Saheon, you really don’t know how the internet works?”
Baek Saheon flinched a bit. Kim Soleum hadn’t called him by his full name in a while, and with such a tense expression as if he would hold his hand and start teaching him the ABCs of the internet, he made a concerning sight. There was no pity in those eyes. There was genuine horror and jealousy.
“Anyway! Let’s move on?”
“..Ok broski.”
“What.”
“Going further.”
Anyway. They moved a bit further, and ended up back on Kim Soleum’s side of things.
(4.)
deergrapes
@iwanttogohome
There is a man in my apartment eating my groceries and criticizing my sleep schedule
12 Retweets 85 Quote Tweets 521 Likes
Mints @goralssavelives · Jan 2, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
You let him have a key
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Badger @orangesaregood · Nov 22, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
You bought him matching mugs
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Tree @qifreyisNOTgojoscopy · Nov 22, 2024 Replying to @orangesaregood
Those facts are unrelated and why would you even think they’re the same people??
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Lee Seolhwa step on me @yjhsleftarmbicepmuscle · Nov 22, 2024 Replying to @qifreyisNOTgojoscopy
Because people don’t have a life and think two single men with remotely coincidental lives are perfect for yaoi. Like man this is why we have ‘yaoislop’ as a genuine term. Bad rep y’all bad rep
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mizisua4life @iwantyuri · Nov 22, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
Assert dominance by staring at him.
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(^^) @iloveyaoi · Nov 22, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
"oh my steak is too juicy my lobster too buttery." leave some for the poor man 💔💔 we know it's mr.roommate
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“Supervisor, isn’t that fairly recent?”
“It is.”
The look on Kim Soleum’s face told him to speak no more, but Baek Saheon was a daring man.
“I have a feeling that ‘the man’ is me. Isn’t that right?”
“Really? You think so? You must have fairly good intuition.”
If possible, you could somehow hear the eye roll in his voice. It made the one-eyed man smirk.
“Well, that’s a speciality of mine.”
“You really are too full of yourself.”
“Isn’t that Supervisor Park? The two of them are correct.”
“..shameless.”
“Heh.”
This time, Kim Soleum had grown redder than a chilli.
After a bit more teasing, the two of them eventually ended up on their most recent tweet. They had a fight over that issue not too long ago, and as things go, it ended up online.
(5.)
apples of green
@goatofgoats
Some people should stop working while sick
@iwanttogohome
45 Retweets 73 Quote Tweets 800 Likes
deergrapes @iwanttogohome · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
You once clocked into work while actively under sickness, did you not?
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apples of green @goatofgoats · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @iwanttogohome
I had priorities
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deergrapes @iwanttogohome · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
and I didn't?
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dr.grace's glasses @phmispeak · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
GUYS OMG THEY ARE RELATED WTH ITS TRUE???? ALSO ALSO ALSO WHATS WITH THIS TENSION YALL???
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educated freak @yourdadactually · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
Someone hold my hand the fujoshis were actually correct?????
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(^^) @iloveyaoi · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
And they were roommates.
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Lee Seolhwa step on me @yjhsleftarmbicepmuscle · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @iloveyaoi
Literally ong
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Moonpuppy 617 @shiguangontop · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
PLEASE I WAS JOKING I DON’T WANT TO BE A CHILD OF DIVORCE
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Reptiles. @lizardsandtvs · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @goatofgoats
OH LORD I JUST SAW A PHOTO OF HOME GUY WITH @orangesaregood HE IS SO ETHEREAL
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sangsoo @witchhsy · Dec 1, 2024 Replying to @lizardsandtv
my sister in christ let's share
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“Now that I think about it, it seems the replies know what’s up everytime.”
“The internet is a scary place.”
They huddled together to read the replies, laughing at them and pointing out silly ones. Somehow that turned into a challenge of who could spot how many references, and somehow that turned into guessing the lives of recurring people in their tweets.
To the two people in love, time worked strangely. It was already evening by the time Kim Soleum got up to charge his phone. They hadn’t had anything to eat yet.
“Soleum-ya, takeout?”
“From the restaurant down the street.”
The pink bunny watched them quietly, waiting for the day in January where this peace would be no more. But for now, it was, and that’s what mattered more.
.
.
.