Chapter Text
"Oh my God, Katya."
Katya let out a bored sigh, pressing herself harder against the wall and fixing her gaze on an ant that happened to crawl by, while her hips were being moved roughly behind her.
"What time is it?"
No answer.
Instead, she felt the guy's fingers tighten their grip against her pale skin and a couple of low groans slipping from his lips. It wasn't the first time they'd done this. In fact, Katya knew him well enough to know that if she moaned his name in that high-pitched voice he liked so much, they'd be done in no time and maybe she'd still make it to the cafeteria to get something decent to eat.
After all, it was Taco Tuesday. Better to finish quickly.
"Oh, Adam! Yes, please," the blonde struggled not to laugh. First of all, because she somehow managed to outdo herself every time with her best Kristen Chenoweth impression. Ever since he'd confessed that she'd been his sexual awakening when he went to see Wicked with his mom when he was twelve years old. And second, because she knew just how predictable Adam was in bed.
The girl did have to admit, though. This was a new record.
She didn't remember the last time it had been this boring and this fast.
"Katya, you're amazing," Adam finally said after a long silence as they got dressed.
The blonde smiled faintly, watching him buckle his belt while she fastened her tiny denim shorts. She studied him for a moment: he had nice grey eyes and-
Well, that was kind of it.
Okay, Katya couldn't deny he was attractive. There was a reason so many girls lined up after him, but being that conventionally hot also made him painfully predictable. Sure, he had abs and arms that could probably lift a truck if he wanted to, but honestly, it wasn't that impressive.
"Thanks for this, gorgeous. See you later?"
"Wait! I wanted to talk to you." He raised an eyebrow. It wasn't common for them to talk after sex. Sometimes they shared a cigarette if they felt like it, but usually he bolted as soon as they were dressed again. "Look, we've been doing this for a while, and it's not like I don't enjoy you fucking me under the bleachers in secret, but-" Katya scratched the back of her head, nerves starting to creep in and she took a breath before finally asking. "Prom's coming up soon, and I was wondering if..."
Adam's stupid laugh cut her off.
"Doll, I thought you weren't into dances. I mean, you're way too cool for that cheesy stuff."
Katya's cheeks flushed pink.
Sure, she fit the tough-girl stereotype: the one who only listened to the Sex Pistols and drank vodka in secret in her friend Gottmik's basement, but she had a romantic side almost no one knew about. She loved sweet gestures, and as much as she hated admitting it, she cried every single time she watched Pretty Woman, thinking that maybe (just maybe!) someone could look at her the way Richard Gere looked at Julia Roberts.
But real life wasn't like that.
In real life, boys only saw her as a piece of meat, and it made her sick.
"Besides, I can't," Adam continued. "I have to take Lizzie. You know, she's the head cheerleader, and I'm the football captain. I can't take just any girl, my parents would kill me if they saw me with you."
Katya's face burned red with fury and she felt her blood boil.
All she'd wanted was for the idiot who'd been fucking her for nothing in return to take her to the dance. Just once. She wanted to feel special for once in her life! To spend her savings on a pretty dress like the other girls and to be taken on a date without sex attached.
She wanted to feel normal for one damn day.
Apparently, she wasn't even worthy of that. So she shoved every trace of embarrassment deep down and let Hurricane Katya take over instead.
"So it's fine for a girl like me to suck your microscopic dick in secret, but not fine to take me to prom? Yeah, I totally get it."
She clenched her jaw, angrily grabbing her things off the floor and staring at the smug look on the asshole in front of her. She flipped him off, and in a slightly stupid but deeply satisfying decision, spat in his face.
Not easy, considering he was a damn mammoth and she was fairy-sized, but absolutely worth it.
"Go to hell, Fiyero."
Adam watched angrily as the blonde walked away, tying a knot in her band T-shirt he'd never heard of, showing off her perfectly defined stomach and the belly-button piercing that matched the ones in her ears and face. As humiliated as he felt, he couldn't deny it: cheerleaders were cute, sure, but none of them compared to Katya. She was painfully hot, with goddess-like legs and that tough-girl attitude that could tear the rest of the world to shreds.
Meanwhile, Katya pushed her way toward her next class. Normally, she would've skipped anything remotely related to math or trigonometry, but she was so pissed she didn't even think about it and decided to go in just to distract herself from everything that had just happened. She took a deep breath to avoid kicking the door open and stepped into the classroom, immediately feeling the intense gaze of her teacher and a few classmates.
"Good morning, Miss Goode," the blonde greeted in her best imitation of Lizzie, the black-haired cheerleader sitting in the front row, who responded by flipping her off. Katya grinned.
"Katya, late again," the teacher said.
The blonde rolled her eyes tiredly, only to lock eyes with a dreamy-looking girl with brown hair and oversized black-rimmed glasses. She was wearing the ugliest sweater Katya had ever seen, the kind cartoon nerds wore, but somehow, it only made her cuter. She looked like an attentive puppy, cheeks flushed, freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose like constellations, the kind Katya's little sister was obsessed with.
Pretty like a flower in the middle of summer.
"Detention."
That snapped Katya out of it. Grumbling and with no other choice because her usual seat in the back was already taken, she headed to the nearest empty seat, which conveniently, was right behind the wide-eyed brunette. She was sitting next to another girl who looked a little bit similar but with lavender dyed hair and nowhere near as pretty.
"Well then," the red-haired teacher said, standing up with a stack of papers. "After Miss Zamolodchikova's interruption-" Oh no. Katya could smell trouble from a mile away and she was already sweating like a prostitute in church. "As I was saying, this exam will cover everything we've seen over the past couple of weeks. Think of it as a pre-final test but don't underestimate it, it counts just like any other exam."
Katya's eyes went wide as the test landed on her desk.
Great. Worst day of her life. Officially.
She dug through her bag looking for a pencil, only to find cigarette butts and chip wrappers. With a sigh, she leaned forward and tapped the girls in front of her.
"Uh, excuse me?" The girl with brown eyes turned almost immediately, adorably curious. The other took a second longer, glaring her with hate. "Do you have an extra pencil?"
"No," the second girl snapped. "Why the hell would you come to school without a pencil?" She turned back to her test, but first she rolled her eyes annoyed.
Katya wanted to die... Again.
But she was revived almost instantly when the brunette smiled softly and handed her a cute pink pencil.
"Here. Sorry about that."
Before Katya could even thank her, the teacher scolded them both and told them to get back to their exams.
Throughout her life, Katya had discovered she hated so many things: the color green, Taylor Swift's music, oatmeal cookies, and even Saturday Night Live. But nothing -absolutely nothing- compared to her hatred of exams.
She hated them because they were harder for her than for everyone else, and she didn't know why. As a kid, she'd hated reading out loud. Her hands shook every time she had to go up to the board and her heart raced whenever she saw those stupid pieces of paper meant to measure how smart she was. Every time she tried to understand, words and numbers turned into an impossible alphabet soup.
That's why she was convinced that every time she took a test, a fairy died (and she got a little dumber.)
"Fifty-two- no, twenty-five," Katya whispered, trying to focus.
Unfortunately, the room was almost completely silent so inevitably, everyone heard her.
"Hey, freak," the blonde looked up to find Lizzie's cruel smile, flanked by her cheerleader friends. They looked like a nest of venomous snakes, ponytails tight, uniforms spotless. Katya hated them almost as much as exams. "Do you want to shut the hell up, or are you too stupid to read silently?"
The room erupted in toxic laughter- everyone, except the sweet angel sitting in front of her.
Katya felt her cheeks burn and her eyes sting with angry, humiliated tears. But she'd rather die than let Lizzie see her cry and even as Ms. Goode tried to restore order, it was useless.
Katya felt dumber than ever.
So she gave up.
She waited until most of the class had turned in their exams and left, leaving only a few students behind- including the girl with the big glasses and the ugly sweater. Katya stood, dragging her black leather bag to the teacher's desk.
"What is this?" The teacher asked, holding up the nearly blank paper. No answers, just random sketches.
"My exam."
"It's full of doodles."
"I know, I drew Ms. Methyd from art class. I know you like her, so you can keep it."
The older woman blushed, matching her red hair.
"Katya, I'm serious. Why didn't you answer anything? Was it because of Lizzie?"
"No!" Katya snapped, almost offended, "I don't care what Lizzie says, she can kiss my ass." The blonde sighed, peeling black nail polish off her fingers anxiously. "I just... I can't. I really don't understand any of it."
Katya knew she was in deep trouble when, for the first time ever, saw compassion in the teacher's eyes.
"Sweetheart, finals are right around the corner. If you don't get a good grade, you're going to fail this class."
"Maybe if you assign me a tutor-"
"Another one?" The teacher sighed. "Katya, we've tried three tutors this year already. There's no one left."
And like an angel sent from heaven, a soft voice interrupted.
"I'll do it."
The brunette stood, adjusting her glasses as she handed in her exam.
Katya smiled awkwardly, fighting the urge to bounce like a five-year-old. She didn't know why exactly, but the idea of spending time with her made her oddly excited.
God forbid a girl loving pretty things.
"Trixie," the teacher said, "You have math club after school. When will you tutor her?"
"We can do it during our break. I'm sure she won't mind if she wants to pass." Trixie. Uh, Katya hadn't really realized how little she cared about the rest of the world until that moment. Maybe it was a good time to start paying attention to her surroundings, especially if there were such pretty Trixies with ugly sweaters and shy smiles like the one she was giving her. Ugh, Katya wanted to melt, but instead, she nodded so hard it was almost embarrassing. "See? I've got it. Don't worry."
The teacher studied them both for a moment before sighing and opening the classroom door.
"Alright. Now get out of here."
Outside the classroom, Katya gave the girl a shy smile as she handed back the pink pencil she'd borrowed earlier. Now that they were standing, she could really look at her. To no one's surprise, Trixie was taller than her, though, to be fair, more than half the school was taller than Katya.
Her brown argyle sweater was paired with a soft pink skirt that probably reached her knees on someone else, but on her long legs it barely made it halfway down her thighs (and thank God for that). Brown Mary Janes and matching socks made her look so adorable that Katya almost wanted to lock her inside a bubble filled with puppies and cotton candy just to keep her safe forever.
"Thanks for offering to help me, Trixie."
"No problem," she said with that same smile that didn't seem to ever leave her face. "Do you want to meet at the library after classes? I'd like to see what you struggle with most before we start, so I can put together something that actually helps."
Oh.
Katya's pink bubble burst the moment she heard the word library.
See, Katya didn't exactly have the best reputation at school. She was mostly indifferent to the rest of the world, but unfortunately, the rest of the world wasn't indifferent to her.
Especially the boys.
It had all started two years earlier, when she'd stupidly agreed to give Jackson Mendez a blowjob in the library. She'd honestly believed he was in love with her: a senior on the basketball team bringing flowers every day to a naive sophomore like her. What happened next? Jackson started dating a girl from his own grade and pretended not to know Katya in the hallways. The blonde didn't take it personally. After all, Jackson hadn't even made it to college and now worked as an assistant manager at the Burger King down the street.
But the rumor stuck.
The rumor about the goth girl who was "easy," who'd do things in exchange for favors, especially in the library. Propositions came and went. Some shy. Some explicit. More than once, guys had begged her to do it there again, but she always refused. It was a matter of principle.
She didn't hate sex, and she wasn't ashamed of enjoying it, but she'd promised herself she'd never do it again in the place where her heart had been broken for the first time.
"Uh... yeah. Sure. The library."
Trixie looked at her, confused. "Are you okay?"
Katya met her eyes again. Maybe this was the price she had to pay to pass her class. Everything would be fine, at least the brown-eyed doll was pretty and smelled like strawberries.
If she closed her eyes and pretended she was somewhere else, she'd probably enjoy it.
"I'm fine. See you later, Trixie."
She smiled, tucking a strand of brown hair behind Trixie's ear before turning around and walking away, completely unaware that she was leaving the girl behind with a stupid smile on her face and flushed cheeks, just from hearing her name spoken in Katya's sugary voice.
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Katya's day somehow managed to get even worse.
Someone spilled red paint on her shirt during art class, she forgot her gym clothes, and every time she stepped into the hallway to grab books for her next class, she saw that idiot Adam kissing Lizzie and her empty-headed cheerleader smile.
After all that, she made the brilliant decision to skip her last class with her best friend, Gottmik, and go smoke while watching the cheerleaders practice on the massive green field, jumping around like idiots to an Ariana Grande song with their stupid pom-poms and hideous uniforms.
"Fucking Lizzie," Katya muttered, blowing out smoke.
"Dude-" Gottmik said without looking up from her game of solitaire, "Why are you so obsessed with going to prom?"
"You wouldn't get it." Katya replied, taking another drag. "Violet asks you every year. She takes you to dinner and buys you that stupid flower bracelet that matches your dress." The blonde explained, inhaling from her cigarette to mask her pain. She hated begging for even the smallest sign of affection, but after so long, she was starting to get used to it, however sad that sounded. "I've never been asked like that," she added quietly.
"Jacob Smith took you last year." Gottmik said, genuinely confused and Katya scoffed.
"Yeah. He fucked me behind his car and then made me hide a bottle of vodka under my dress so we wouldn't get caught." She rolled her eyes, exhausted. All the guys at this school are a bunch of idiots, they all seemed to share one brain cell. Girls give everything, and all they care about is sex and sports. It's disgusting. "I just want to feel special once. Is that really too much to ask?"
Gottmik looked at her with pity, pulling her into a side hug and messing up her already chaotic hair.
"Hey. You're way too much for Adam, blondie. Okay?"
Katya smiled softly, resting her head on her friend's shoulder.
"Come on, forget about the stupid prom for a second." Gottmik said. "Play a round of poker with me. If you win, I'll give you my sandwich."
"What kind of sandwich?"
"Peanut butter and strawberry jelly, duh."
"Deal."
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They played for a long while. Between tied games and laughter that made her problems feel smaller, Katya lost track of time. It wasn't until she finally won that she realized she was late.
"Shit, I have to go." She jumped up, grabbing her things and the sandwich like a trophy. "See you later, Mik."
Katya ran toward the library, weaving through the sea of teenagers desperate to escape school. Her heavy black boots echoed through the halls, and she skidded to a stop just before crashing into the door.
Outside, she spotted Trixie sitting next to the door, reading a copy of Wuthering Heights. Katya would've bet her right ear it was for an assignment.
"Fuck- Trixie, I'm so sorry. I lost track of time! I know I'm late, but-"
"Hey, it's okay." Trixie said, smiling again. "Ready to go in?"
Katya nodded as Trixie opened the door for her, the small gesture making her smile.
"Trixie! Katya! What a surprise to see you together!" The librarian shouted and the rest of the students shushed her immediately. "Ugh, so boring," the woman muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, Manila," Katya said casually, hopping up to her desk and kissing her cheek.
The library wasn't exactly Katya's favorite place, but whenever she knew her stepfather was working morning shifts, she stayed at school as late as possible. The library was the only place where she could sleep and think in peace. She'd helped Manila shelve books more than once in exchange for rides at home and, maaaybeee, they'd smoked a little weed together.
But that's something no one could find out if the woman wanted to keep her job.
"How's Sutan?" Katya asked.
"Oh, you know, he's fine. Work's killing us, but I can't complain, the sex is great," Manila said, and Katya noticed Trixie's face flush adorably. "What about you, little rebel? Trying to corrupt my sweet angel Trixie?" she teased.
Katya bit her lower lip to keep from smiling. "Oh, no. We're just here to study, right?"
"Sure. Study. But we should start now." Trixie said, adjusting her giant glasses. "See you later, Manila."
"Of course," Manila winked exaggeratedly. "Have fun studying."
Katya laughed as she followed Trixie deeper into the library.
Growing more aware of what was about to happen, they walked toward the back of the library, stopping at the table right next to the one where Katya's awful encounter with Jackson had taken place years ago. She stayed quiet, silently begging Trixie to say something to make the air feel less heavy. But the brunette was already focused on the tall stack of books on the table, writing quickly and flipping pages, completely absorbed.
So Katya sat there and ate her sandwich in silence.
She watched Trixie while she worked, how cute she looked when she was concentrating, twirling the pink pencil between her fingers, checking her notes. At some point, Katya got too focused on her food because she felt her cheeks heat up when she realized the roles had reversed and now she was the one being watched.
"Is it good?" Trixie asked, amused. Katya just nodded awkwardly and held it out for her to take a bite. "Oh- no, I don't-"
Katya rolled her eyes playfully, leaning closer and holding the sandwich just inches from her lips.
"Come on, Trixie. Try it."
Trixie hesitated, then opened her mouth and took a bite. Katya's blue eyes locked onto her pink lips, now smudged with peanut butter. Without thinking, she wiped the excess with her thumb and brought it to her own mouth.
She felt Trixie's gaze linger.
Katya might not have been the smartest person in the room, but she was sharp enough to notice details, like the small lesbian flag pins on Trixie's backpack. Meanwhile, Trixie's brain short-circuited completely, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting. And It only got worse when Katya leaned in even more, their lips just inches apart. She could almost taste strawberries, probably from the mix of her lip gloss and the jam.
Trixie was losing her mind.
And as if she could read her thoughts, Katya finally closed the distance and kissed her.
The kiss started soft and gentle. Katya imagined this must be what kissing rose petals felt like. At first, it was slow, exploratory, both of them learning the other's rhythm until Katya couldn't help herself and gently bit Trixie's lower lip. The cutest gasp slipped out of her, and something inside Katya snapped.
Without hesitation, she climbed into Trixie's lap, fingers tangling in her hair. Trixie's lips were clumsy and sweet, unsure where to place her hands. Katya noticed and guided them to her hips, loving the way Trixie followed her lead. The blonde loved being in control. Trixie was like a startled little lamb, and Katya guided her, savoring her inexperience and the warmth of her hands on her skin.
Eventually, Katya decided Trixie deserved more. She didn't want to leave her wanting, so her lips trailed down to the brunette's neck, and one of her hands slipped beneath her skirt. But she felt Trixie tense beneath her touch.
"Wow, Katya. Stop."
Katya pulled back, meeting Trixie's confused, flustered gaze. She looked absolutely wrecked: messy hair, swollen lips and Katya didn't understand.
"What's wrong?"
"What are you doing?"
"Uh... I'm going to finger you?" Katya said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Trixie's eyes widened. "Isn't that why you wanted to come to the library?"
"What? No!" Katya stood up, embarrassed. She allowed the girl to take a breath, adjusting her clothes and hair. "Listen, I really do want to help you pass your exam. I didn't offer because I wanted anything in return."
Katya sighed, embarrassed, picking at her nails while Trixie crossed her legs and shifted in her seat. The blonde raised an eyebrow, understanding immediately what was happening down there.
"Hey, you can't blame me," Trixie said softly, her cheeks flushed pink. "You're really pretty. And you kiss amazing too."
They both laughed, tension easing just a little.
"I like your freckles," Katya admitted, incapable of taking her gaze away from her pretty face.
"I like your eyes."
Katya's smile could've lit up twenty cities before she grabbed the pink pencil with determination.
"Okay. Let's start."
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Katya regretted saying that immediately.
The moment she tried to read the problem Trixie had written down, panic crept in. She didn't want to look stupid in front of her. Even though she doubted sweet, gentle Trixie would ever mock her like Lizzie had, her brain screamed that she was useless, that Trixie would give up on her the moment she failed. She tried to convince Trixie to read it aloud instead, claiming she liked the sound of her voice. It didn't work.
Five minutes passed. Then ten.
Katya still hadn't written a single thing. She counted on her fingers beneath the table, desperately trying to focus.
"Okay. I think it's three hundred seventy-eight," Katya said finally, biting her lip and avoiding Trixie's gaze.
"Uh... close," Trixie said gently. "But you actually wrote seven hundred thirty-eight. You mixed up the order of the numbers."
Trixie paused, something clicking in her mind.
"Alright. Forget math for a second," she said. "I want you to write the name of your favorite band, and one song by them that isn't your favorite but that you still like, maybe one you don't listen that often."
Katya frowned, confused, but did it without question.
Led Zeppelin - Dazeb and Confuseb
...Except she hadn't written it like that.
Uh.
"Now write your favorite actress and a movie she's in."
"Trixie-"
"Please."
Jodie Foster - Mavericส
Some letters were mirrored. Numbers reversed. Reading and comprehension were a struggle.
Katya watched her nervously, unaware of what she was doing wrong, only that Trixie was thinking hard.
"Kat," Trixie said carefully. "Are you dyslexic?"
Katya froze.
She didn't know how to answer.
Her whole life, she'd tried to prove every teacher who called her stupid, out loud or behind her back, wrong. Tried to prove to her stepfather that she could be more than a waitress... or worse, the prostitute he always assumed she'd become. After years of trying without results, she'd eventually given up.
Why was it that other kids could spend their weekends watching movies and bowling and still get perfect grades, while she burned herself out trying to understand math problems and boring novels, only to fail anyway? It wasn't fair. So one morning, she woke up and convinced herself that if all the adults thought she was stupid, maybe they were right. It was fine. She was good at painting and sculpting. She wouldn't make a living from it, but it was a decent consolation prize.
And now Trixie stood in front of her, finally putting a name to what Katya had always called stupidity.
"What? No," Katya laughed nervously, twisting the ends of her hair. "No, it was just a mistake."
"Tell me what you think you wrote wrong," Trixie asked softly, taking Katya's hand when she felt how tense she was.
"I-" Katya tried to focus. She wanted to know. She wanted to prove she could do this. But everything looked the same in her head. The room suddenly felt too small and she couldn't breathe as tears blurred her vision.
She could hear her father laughing. Her teachers. Lizzie. Adam.
Oh, poor, stupid Katya.
"Hey," Trixie said gently, pulling her chair closer. She cupped Katya's face, forcing her to look at her, offering a smile that calmed her instantly. There was no judgment in her brown eyes, only understanding. "My little sister has dyslexia too. I help her study all the time, I'm sure you can do this. I'll make extra time in my schedule to help you, but first, we need a test to measure where you're at."
Katya let out a hollow laugh. "What's the point? I'm stupid anyway."
"Don't say that-"
"What if I don't graduate?" Katya whispered, throat tight. "Every grade except art and gym is awful." She swallowed. "Maybe before the idea of being an exotic dancer didn't bother me before. I even had the perfect name, Katie Homophobia. My entrance song would be Work It by Missy Elliott, I'd wear a black wig and eventually move on to something better."
That made Trixie laugh, softening Katya's expression.
"But now... I don't know. Maybe there isn't something better for me."
"Kat," Trixie whispered, stroking her cheek. "You're going to be okay, I promise. You're going to pass this exam, and the rest too. I'll make sure of it. We'll study mornings, afternoons, and nights if we have to. We'll be partners on every project for the rest of the semester and we'll be together so much you'll end up hating me."
Katya couldn't hold back anymore. She grabbed Trixie by the collar of her sweater and kissed her softly, smiling against her flushed cheeks.
"Thank you, Trixie. Really."
They agreed to call it a day after that. Katya had too much going on in her head and all she wanted was to take a shower and sleep until the next morning. They packed up their things and headed toward the exit together.
But just as Katya was about to leave, Trixie's voice stopped her.
"Katya!"
Everyone shushed her at once, making Trixie blush.
"Yeah?" Katya asked, smiling when she noticed Manila watching them shamelessly.
"Uh, well... I wanted to, you know-"
"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I was hoping-"
"You were hoping-"
Trixie took a deep breath, gathering her courage before blurting it out.
"I want to ask you out on a date."
Katya hadn't expected that. At all.
Someone was asking her out on an actual date. A real one. No sex attached. No secrecy. No conditions.
No one had ever wanted to take her on a date before, and she'd started to lose hope. And now this beautiful, brown-eyed princess was standing right in front of her, heart clearly racing.
Katya smiled, but quickly bit her lip and pretended to think about it for way longer than necessary. As if Trixie hadn't already had her wrapped around her little finger from the moment she'd seen her sitting there with that shy smile and curly hair.
"That depends," Katya said casually. "Where to?"
"Katya!" Manila scolded, completely scandalized.
Katya laughed. "I'm kidding. Of course I want to go out with you."
She stepped closer, looping her arms around Trixie's neck. Since the brunette was taller, Katya had to rise onto her toes to kiss the tip of her nose.
"Please, princess," she teased softly. "Wear a sweater just as ugly as this one."
Trixie laughed, shrugging.
"Anything you want."