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Nakhun was stood face to face with Phop and suddenly his chest felt unbearably tight, the man’s eyes were so sincere they almost succeeded in making Nakhun feel seen. Phop looked defeated, like the water soaking his body weighed him down far more than he would ever admit, Nakhun stared at the man for a long beat before he willed his legs to move, every step he took toward Phop only made the tightness in his chest worse.
He couldn’t for the life of him read the man, his expression was eerily blank, Klao knew Phop, would probably know in a heartbeat what to say to get on the man’s good graces, Nakhun on the other hand was left trying to piece together fragments of feelings and memories, it was all a whirlwind, Klao’s soul seesawed within Nakhun’s body, either there all at once or so insignificant that Nakhun could momentarily forget the circumstances he’d stumbled into.
In that moment though, he knew he didn’t want to think anymore, he wanted the privilege of choice, even if it had been cruelly taken from him, and even if it would have consequences that he couldn’t begin to fathom dealing with. Nakhun moved against the hesitation and cold soaking his bones, he leapt forward and wrapped his arms around Phop’s neck, ‘I’m sorry’, the apology slipped out before Nakhun could filter it out of his thoughts.
He expected a scolding, maybe a subtle insult about his utter irresponsibility, but to his surprise, he felt the taller man’s arms wrap around his waist, Phop’s grip on him was tight, it spoke of the desperation and fear that had been clouding his mind, Phop wasn’t sure where this fear had come from, but he was terrified of losing Klao, ‘are you hurt, dear Klao?’, Nakhun had to pause before he could answer, he had to process the rasp and sudden deepness in Phop’s voice.
‘N-no, I’m fine’, Phop let out a deep sigh of relief and his warm breath went over Nakhun’s ear and brought a shiver up his spine. Phop begrudgingly pulled away from the embrace and instead grabbed for Nakhun’s hand, ‘let us go back inside lest we both wind up sick’, and truly Phop could be telling Nakhun that he intends to take him to a cave filled with rabid wolves and Nakhun would still follow the man with no question.
On their way through the house and toward Klao’s room, Nakhun took note of the absence of the usual figures that occupied the house, ‘where is everybody?’, before Phop could answer, they reached the room and Phop hastily pulled him inside, closing the door behind them, ‘everyone has already returned to their chambers for the night’, another rushed apology died on Nakhun’s tongue as Phop stepped forward.
Phop’s hands hovered mid-air, unsure, ‘dear Klao, may I?’, Nakhun nodded yes before he really even understood what Phop had asked of him, Phop’s hands shook as he reached forward and began undoing Nakhun’s shirt buttons, Nakhun’s pupils blew wide and his breath hitched, ‘P-phi, you don’t have to do that’, Phop looked up at him and his eyes were sparkling and devastatingly soft, Nakhun forgot why he had wanted to object to begin with.
‘Klao, please ease my worry and allow me to ensure you are well’, Nakhun gulped, swallowed down the hundreds of warning signs blasting in his brain, and nodded, Phop’s smile quirked up the slightest bit and he went back to the task of undoing the shirt buttons excruciatingly slow, by the time he reached the hem of the shirt, Nakhun had experienced every stage of grief there ever was.
Once his chest was exposed, Phop unconsciously let his eyes wander, tracing a line up Nakhun’s stomach all the way to his toned chest, ‘you really are so pale’, the words were mumbled but Nakhun heard them loud and clear, those same words he’d previously heard as insults now sounded entirely different, they made him want to disregard all his inhibitions and fold.
Nakhun expected the cold of the raging storm to make him shiver, on the contrary though, his body felt like it was on fire, under Phop’s gaze and touch, it felt like he was back in the never ending heat of Bangkok city. He gulped and the subtle sound seemed to snap Phop out of his gaze, he straightened his back and though his eyes were hazy, Nakhun could tell he was badly trying to focus them again.
Phop turned his face the slightest bit and slipped the shirt off of Nakhun’s shoulders, he then walked behind Nakhun and grabbed some garments, placing them on a table near by once him and Nakhun were face to face again, ‘I have had the servants prepare some clothing for you, to ensure you would be warm’, Nakhun hummed, ‘thank you’, there was silence as Phop helped him put on the new shirt, the process of getting dressed again worked a little at calming the bright flame that had sparked deep in Nakhun’s chest.
Once the shirt was done, however, Phop’s eyes travelled down again, this time to the wrap surrounding Nakhun’s waist, ‘please pardon me, dear Klao, Chuai has mentioned to me that you are struggling with wearing your panung as of late’, Nakhun’s cheeks went beet red at record speed, ‘Oi P’Phop, you really don’t have to help me with this’, Phop’s eyes did their magic again and next thing Nakhun knew the man was unwrapping him.
This time though, he noticed that Phop kept his gaze upward, and he was grateful for that, he wasn’t really sure how his body would react if he was put under Phop’s gaze in that way. Nakhun huffed when it only took Phop a minute to have the cloth wrapped and secure, Phop let out a soft laugh, ‘you have always been bad at things like this, there are times where I think you pretend to be because you enjoy my care’.
Nakhun let that set in and though Phop had said it casually, it settled a little odd in Nakhun’s chest, he so desperately wanted to know what kind of relationship Klao and Phop had maintained, they had grown up together, gotten close, but how close?, had Klao ever noticed the softness of Phop’s gaze, had he ever allowed himself to explore how far he could push the boundary of that all consuming gaze?
Nakhun’s face flushed again at the mere thought of Phop and the taller man looked concerned, ‘your face is awfully red, dear Klao, have you perhaps developed a fever?’, Phop’s hand came up to press against Nakhun’s forehead before Nakhun could pull away from the touch, ‘you are a bit warm, let us get you to bed’, Nakhun was both grateful and upset for the distance that took place when Phop stepped away from him.
He walked back to the small mattress laid on the floor and settled on it, Phop dropped to his knees beside him and proceeded to tuck him in under the blanket. Nakhun had a small moment of panic at the thought of being departed from Phop and so he turned toward the man before he could get up, ‘P’Phop, do you think you could stay with me while I fall asleep?’, there was a hint of shock and an overwhelming amount of endearment in Phop’s eyes as he nodded.
‘Are you thinking much, dear Klao?’, Nakhun was shocked to see the ease at which Phop had read his mind, ‘much, much’, Phop smiled, ‘would it ease your mind if I listened to you?’, Nakhun tried his best to remind himself of who he really was, but he had long understood that his feelings toward Phop were really all him, he was the one falling for the man who thought he was someone else entirely.
‘Do you really intend to marry that woman?’, Phop blinked a few times as confusion took over his face, Nakhun wasn’t even really sure why he had asked that, but after a beat of silence, Phop spoke again, ‘I have never had the wish to marry, however it is what is expected of me at my age and status’, Nakhun paused and a bit of guilt rose in his chest at the sadness reflected in Phop’s eyes.
‘What is it you truly wish to do?’, Phop’s breath visibly hitched, his eyes met Nakhun’s and the room instantly felt smaller, his hand that was settled awfully close to Nakhun’s moved slightly and their fingers grazed, ‘I wish to be by your side, I would find utmost fulfilment being at your side as we always were’, Nakhun’s heart rate picked up in spite of himself.
His cheeks flushed once more, Phop once again lifted his hand up, this time pressing it against Nakhun’s neck, ‘you have turned red again, but I detect no change in your body temperature, could it be I have flustered you with my words, dear Klao?’, Nakhun gulped, this was dangerous, he was walking a thin line and he was more than ready to cross it if it meant Phop would be at the other end of it.
‘P’Phop’, his voice came out in a plea, a tone entirely unfamiliar to him, he had never plead for something he wasn’t even sure of, but pleading to Phop had come out so naturally it scared him. Phop blinked and inched closer, unable to handle the proximity, Nakhun let his eyes flutter closed, he could feel Phop’s warm breath on his face as every muscle in his body went taut.
He felt a pair of lips graze his forehead, a touch so feathery light he could almost convince himself he’d imagined it, but this was real, too real, he felt in every fibre of his being, ‘your body temperature truly has not changed’, Phop reiterated, it was like another nail in Nakhun’s coffin of desire.
He willed himself to open his eyes and flinched at how close they actually were, Phop’s pupils were blown wide, despite his composed act, he had been affected equally as bad as Nakhun had, ‘Klao, I do not wish to bring you any discomfort’, Nakhun blinked, he was so overwhelmed with heat and desire, he was determined to destroy any bits of hesitation that still lingered in Phop’s mind.
He moved a hand and placed it against Phop’s hand, still settled gently on his neck, his other hand moved to remove the blanket covering his body, an open and shameless invite, ‘P’Phop, I trust I will experience no discomfort if I am with you’, and the wheels in Phop’s brain seemed to turn for a moment before the strings snapped, all at once, he moved forward and laid his body down just as Nakhun pulled back to make room for him.
Laying face to face, Nakhun’s confidence wavered slightly, he had started this, but he wasn’t sure how to go about finishing it, he wasn’t even sure what he was really asking for, Phop thankfully, seemed a little more forward now, he reached up and began undoing the same shirt buttons he had so painstakingly done not even an hour before.
He slipped Nakhun’s shirt over his shoulder and leaned in to kiss at the now exposed skin, his lips were still gentle, just like the rest of him, but there was a bit of fight in him now that wasn’t there before, he took his time exploring, going from Nakhun’s chest, to his collarbones, then to his chest, his hand was now gripping the supple skin of Nakhun’s waist.
When Phop bared his teeth the slightest bit against the man’s neck, Nakhun hissed to hold back a moan, Phop pulled back slightly, ‘did I hurt you, dear Klao?’, Nakhun gulped, ‘n-no, I just don’t want to alert anybody’, Phop paused, his face was flushed and his lips hung a little agape, Nakhun wanted to kiss him so bad he was buzzing with it, ‘I do not understand’, Nakhun rolled his eyes, ‘I mean this place has no sound insolation and we have to be quiet’, Phop blinked again, ‘but I wish to hear you’.
Nakhun was unbelievably turned on and insanely enraged with Phop’s honesty, ‘Phop, you beautiful idiot, just do whatever you want’, Phop paused but didn’t process the insult, instead, he returned to his ministrations, this time when he bit at Nakhun’s neck, the smaller man allowed himself a small moan.
He truly allowed Phop to do whatever he wanted, but he wasn’t going to sit idle and watch, Nakhun too, lifted his hands up and unbuttoned Phop’s shirt. He finally satiated the urge to caress the man’s godlike figure with his fingertips, and it was better than anything he had ever imagined, his beautiful honey skin was taut and soft in all the right places.
When Phop pulled away for a moment, Nakhun took the chance to fully slip the man’s shirt off his body, Phop looked up at him with an unreadable gaze, ‘what is it you wish for me to do, my dear, tell me and it is yours’, Nakhun had to pause, firstly because the words had him questioning if his heart was still beating at all, and secondly because he wasn’t sure, he wasn’t sure what boundaries he could cross at this point.
This wasn’t even really his body, it was Klao’s, could he really make decisions for the man to this extent, could he allow himself this much at a cost he was yet to figure out, the doubt fogging his brain always seemed to melt at the sight of Phop, Phop who was eager and ready and so warm and real against his skin.
Nakhun threw everything out of the window and allowed his mind to blank of all thoughts that weren’t about Phop, he reached forward and grabbed for the man’s hand, revelling a little in it’s larger size in comparison to his, he took one last deep breath before he placed Phop’s hand against his cock, the thin fabric in between them did nothing to lessen the intensity of the contact.
Nakhun was hard, had been hard since Phop had teasingly dressed him, but it was worse now, he was aching to be touched, to get any form of relief. Phop gulped and squeezed his hand the slightest bit, almost like he was confirming that Nakhun really wanted this, and Nakhun had truly never wanted anything this bad.
Phop didn’t hesitate after that, he undid the knot he had so carefully done before, wasting no time in wrapping his hand around Nakhun once the cloth no longer stood between them, his hand moved slow at first, exploring, the slick of precum made the movement a little easier, he then began to explore, twisting his wrist a bit, adjusting his pace, it all made Nakhun lose his mind.
He nestled forward and tucked his head into Phop’s neck, attempting to bury the noises coming out of him into the man’s skin, ‘I do not indulge in these pleasures often, please forgive me if I do not perform well, my dear’, Nakhun was so lost in pleasure that the words hardly registered at first, then he understood, and though the pleasure was all consuming he was determined to reassure Phop.
‘you are doing so good, Phi, I feel so good’, and the praise wasn’t intended to affect Phop in that way, but the man let out a whimper, loud and clear right into Nakhun’s ear and the smaller man twitched all over, if only he could tell Phop that the noises he let out were likely his favourite sound on earth, but words weren’t really Nakhun’s strong suit right now, all that consumed his brain was pleasure, and the urge to please.
Even in his haze, he still found it within himself to reach down and undo the knot holding up Phop’s lower garment, a strange sense of pride filled his chest when he realized that Phop was hard as well, a bold lettered affirmation that their attraction was mutual, he wasted no time wrapping a hand around Phop in turn.
He had barely moved his hand when the man moaned once again, filthy and unrestrained, Nakhun loved it, wanted to explore all the noises he could possibly bring out of Phop. Nakhun wasn’t an expert by any means, he had explored a bit in college, had a few bar hook-ups, but they had never meant anything to him, this meant something, he had never experienced attraction like this, it felt carnal, like it wasn’t simply a want, but a need, like Phop’s touch was the only thing tethering him to this world.
Nakhun did not wish for this to ever end, but the flame simmering in his belly grew brighter, his whole body now tingled, his hand free of Phop’s cock was on the man’s broad back, undoubtedly leaving chaos in its wake, Phop was equally as gone, his movements were getting sloppy as his teetered on the edge of paradise.
Phop dropped his head suddenly and bit into Nakhun’s neck, his teeth fit perfectly into the juncture between Nakhun’s neck and collarbone, Nakhun couldn’t restrain his moan in time and the sound echoed around them, Phop reached his high just like that, his entire body went taut as the waves of his orgasm washed over him, he came in spurts all over Nakhun’s hand and stomach.
He heaved a few breaths to compose himself but did not abandon his real goal, his large hand continued to move against Nakhun’s cock. Nakhun was already gone, the sight of Phop coming had brought him right to his limit, ‘let yourself go for me, my dear’, Phop’s voice came out raspy and strained, it was everything Nakhun needed.
His orgasm crashed into him violently, his whole body, down to his core, shook with it, he bit into his lip hard to restrain the guttural sounds that threatened to escape, he came for what felt like hours on end, when he was spent, his body went lax all at once, like every bit of tension and stress in his body had all decided to float away into the sky.
He breathed shakily for a few seconds as Phop peppered his neck and shoulder with more gentle kisses, he felt like he was on cloud nine, the world around him continued to move, but he was more than content to just lay there and let it do its thing, ‘please forgive me for we can not bathe in this hour of the night, my dear’, Phop’s voice broke through the soft hum of rain and wind from outside, Nakhun smiled, satiated, he hummed.
‘it’s fine, Phi’, but Phop was already moving, ‘I must clean you so you can rest with ease’, Nakhun only felt the cold once Phop had gone away from him, Phop didn’t go far, he first ensured the door was securely locked, then he simply grabbed a small cloth and jug of water and hastily returned to Nakhun’s side.
He wet the cloth and began wiping at Nakhun’s body, his touch was gentle and it made Nakhun fuzzy all over, once he made sure that Nakhun was as clean as he could possibly be, he wiped at his own body with a lot less precision. He dressed them back only in their undergarments and settled back next to Nakhun on the bed.
Nakhun covered them both with the blanket, now that the heat had simmered to a mere warmth, everything felt unbearably soft.
Phop looked into Nakhun’s eyes and his lips quirked up in a nervous smile, ‘I hope you do not mind I have allowed myself to rest here tonight’, Nakhun smiled back at the man and sighed, he was so fucking endearing that Nakhun wanted to eat him whole. Nakhun moved even closer and cuddled into Phop’s chest, letting his arm wrap around the taller man’s waist, ‘there is nowhere else I would rather you be’, Phop let out a sigh in turn and let his arm wrap around Nakhun’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer, ‘goodnight, my dear’, ‘goodnight, P’Phop’, and a good night it was indeed.