Work Text:
Every morning begins with waking up. It’s not usually remembered. One cannot name the first thing that was real, or the last thing that was dreamt. It happens every day. We forget.
The first real thing Light felt when he awoke was gravity. It’s usually the first thing; the fall. It’s important to have a soft bed, so you don’t hurt yourself on the way down. The mattress cradling his body was the first thing Light felt.
Before Light is aware of his body, he is aware of the forces upon it. Pressure. Heat. Light is hot. There is friction and sweat.
He doesn’t understand anything, not yet, and he is still dreaming. He feels good. His bellybutton is open like a tissue box, and from it a magician pulls a chain of colored scarves. Each tug reaches somewhere deep in him, pulling.
He is being disemboweled. The scarves become entrails that plap, plap, plap out into the floor. It sounds real. His intestines squirm and quiver alive, forming a serpent that plunges back into him and coils, hot, in its new home.
It’s all so visceral. What’s happening?
He is being entered. He is being opened.
Like a book. Light is the book. L is leafing through his pages and it makes Light tingle. Light is irritated that L is only skimming him.
Light is shelved and he groans, he feels it, the rough fabric of the cover grinding against the lacquered wood. It makes him hot inside.
The heat is distracting. He’s losing his grip on the dream. It’s burning up; it’s shaking, rocking.
He feels a chill of dread, a protective instinct, telling him he’s better off asleep. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. But it’s too late. Light can feel his fingers.
They’re being held down.
He becomes aware of his eyelids, that he’s gazing upon the darkness there. But he’s still half in a dream among objects and animals. He opens his eyes and one dream peels back to reveal another. He’s a plywood plank under a stable gun. He’s a credit card reader Please Remove Card. There’s a rabbit burrowing into the Earth. He needs to open his real eyes, but he can’t find them, can’t feel them.
He reaches out. He is gripped, restrained, pressed back down.
And he feels really, really good. He’s drooling. His pillow is all wet. He struggles against the dark and gasps as it penetrates him. Is he still dreaming? There’s a blissful feeling in his chest, airy and euphoric. And there’s a fire in his… his… his…
His eyes shoot open. The panic is quick, his mind works fast. He understands that he’s being–
That L is–
And it feels fucking amazing.
His limbs are weighted, drugged, likely. He can squirm, but he can’t push. There’s a foreign body in his body. It gets… excited, when he squirms.
He keeps squirming, struggling, and tries to make a sound.
“L,” he croaks.
“Oh, you shouldn’t be able to wake up.” He observes, monotone. “This is the first time you’ve been lucid.”
A confusion of signals coarse through Light's body– terror, arousal– making him shiver. L has done this to him before.
“Perhaps you’ve developed a resistance? I’ll have to modify the formula.” L rocks his hips, deep circles that make Light’s limp body quake.
“Wha… What are you…?” Light knows what he’s doing. L’s cock is filling him with no room for misunderstanding. But his numb mouth can’t come up with anything else to say,
“I’m using your body for sexual gratification.” L grunts. “I’m attracted to you, Light, and I thought of how to spare us the hassle of consent and reciprocated feelings. You weren’t supposed to discover this.”
L gives two particularly punishing stabs of his hips, and Light feels pressure against the back of his neck. “Perhaps if I go harder, you won’t remember.”
“N-No! L… why? H-How…?” Light doesn’t know what he’s asking.
“I was bored, and when I’m bored I seek pleasure. Your body was beside me and conveniently unconscious. And, I suppose I feel connected to you, Light. I need you like this.”
And lost in L, hot, throbbing, and splitting him open, Light needs him like this, too. He’s trapped and afraid. It’s like he’s watching himself bleed out and he’s dizzy, delirious, delighted in it.
He feels a little stronger, more present, so he tries bucking L off of him. Or maybe he’s forcing L deeper. Regardless of his intentions, L is deeper inside. Light groans.
He should be trying harder to escape. There’s an animal that wants to bolt, to fly, to bite, to fight. But that animal, at it’s most basic, wants to fuck. He wants to be fucked. He needs it. As much as he should struggle, he cannot resist the primal, basic desire to take it.
Still, for the sake of his pride, he tries to put up a fight. Or maybe it’s for L’s sake, who seems to enjoy Light’s hissing and twisting attempts.
There’s a certain exhilaration in pushing against the inevitable, of writhing uselessly, of being taken, and taken, and taken against your will.
“I hoped… this would happen..!” Light gasps out. He shivers, it’s true. He had a suspicion the detective wanted him, a hope, that he was desired. He jerked off for L on the cameras. He sat cuffed and whining in that surveillance room. Light preened under L’s gaze, the way L watched him and licked his lips like he wanted to hold Light in his jaw, limp between jagged teeth.
Light is a crisp apple with a rotten, rotten core. He’s waited his whole life for someone to recognize it, and still take a bite. To be devoured, craved, despite the brown and bruised and bitter.
He wanted to be irresistible.
And that’s what he was.
L couldn’t resist him. So he took him. Fucked him in his sleep.
God, it’s so awful. It’s so wonderful. He’s never felt so wanted. He’s never felt so used. He could lie and say this was his plan from the start. But the fact it wasn’t has Light jerking his hips back to meet each thrust. L couldn’t care less about Light’s plans. L took him, selfishly, because that’s what he wanted to do.
Light is dirty and cruel, and L has all the dirt and cruelty to match. They complete each other in this sick way. Maybe Light will tie L down and fuck him tommorrow, hit him over the head with lamp and finger his ass with his blood. It doesn’t matter. They are greedy. They crave each other.
“I had a hunch you wanted this.” L says, watching his cock slip in and out, disappearing into Light. “I wouldn’t have done this otherwise.”
“Liar.” Light hisses.
“Right.” L kisses the back of Light's neck, and it’s so tender Light almost cums. “If you actually fought me, screamed and cried, I would’ve just sedated you and kept going. Is that what you want to hear? That I would rape you?”
Light shudders, “Y-Yes.”
“Facinating.”
“I would rape you, too.” Light tries to crane his neck to look at L.
L slows.
“If- If I were Kira I would keep you, and use you. I’d sit on your face until you s-suffocated. Light quakes. His walls are fluttering thinking about it; L struggling and twitching under his pussy, clawing at his thighs. “I want you, L. I want you violently.”
“Ah, so it is reciprocal.”
Yes, yes. It is. If L didn’t do this to him, Light would be the only monster. But their feelings for each other are the same. Vicious. Unethical.
“Let me look at you…” Light pants. He tries to flip over, but his body isn’t listening. “I can’t move.”
“Oh…” L’s hands migrate down his body, squeezing his waist, his ass, prodding at his thighs. L grips Light, pulls out, and pushes him onto his back. Light is all limp limbs and dead weight, like roadkill turned over with a stick, soft underside exposed.
Light whimpers, caught in L’s startling eyes. Light’s thighs and hips, in their limited movement, are gyrating slightly, searching for L. He’s aching to be seen, consumed, devoured; Finally tasted, and therefore destroyed.
Light wants to be skinned. In a way that wouldn’t hurt. In a way he could slip it right back on like a stocking. He wants to let someone in, someone who would understand. Someone like L, who would throw open Light’s ribs like the closet door between him and the monster. Someone who would build a nest with the darkness inside.
“Get back in me!” Light grunts. He’s seared by his pathetic impatience, ashamed and alive.
“I like watching. Before I decided to penetrate you, I would just watch you sleep, then cum on your face. Apologies, that’s likely why you’ve broken out on your right cheek.”
L thumbs over his cheekbone and Light whines.
“You have so much desire in you, you’re burning with it. It must be hard to stay so cool and collected. Your real form is something like this, isn’t it? Something ravenous?”
“Something rotten.” Light hisses back.
“Mm,” L hums into Light’s neck, and Light can feel L’s cock sliding over his pelvis, “then I suppose I’m the little worm writhing in your core.”
The blunt head of L’s dick is pushing at his hole, Light clenches his teeth as it passes inside, breaching him, “big worm!” He gasps, embarrassed at L’s childish metaphor, but too drugged and fucked to care.
“Ah, L!” He cries. His eyes are wet, and the muscle of L’s tongue laps at the soft skin beneath his eyes.
“I’m surprised you find it a stretch.” L hilts himself with an echoing slap, Light jolts. “You’ve been taking it silently for quite some time.”
Light has no response but a whimper and a sigh, L filling Light’s open mouth with his tongue. Light feels violated. And understood.
L rocks his hips and Light reaches around to hold him. He rakes his nails down L’s back, wanting to burrow in his skin like a mayfly.
He wants to do this to L, fuck L like this, manhandle him. Light snaps his jaw shut, biting L’s tongue. L’s shudders and his thrusts are sharp, punishing. He brushes his thumb over Light’s lips, wet with his blood.
He puts his fingers in Light’s mouth.
Why would he do that? Why would he put his flesh in the maw of a beast that bites?
Light slides his tongue under L’s fingers, they taste salty, they taste like Light. L must’ve fingered Light before he fucked him. Light is tasting himself, his own unaware self.
L fucks his fingers into Light’s mouth at the same pace he fucks into him. Light plays nice, sucking and swirling, no teeth this time. But he can’t help it, when L hits him deep inside, and he chomps down a bit.
L removes his fingers and wipes the saliva off on Light’s nipples. Light squirms. His thighs are shaking.
L can tell he’s close, so he slows, making Light feel each agonizingly good drag. It feels intimate, and it aches so sweet. They kiss like lovers, just lips and time. L licks and sucks on his neck. L touches him. There’s reverence in his rhythm.
He understands that Light is special. He covets Light.
He understands that Light is rotten.
He destroys him.