Chapter Text
“Ah, Ankh-Morpork, you boys will have to find the Black stone here, because this is where the pesky thing ended up! Gooooooood Luck!”
“Wait! B-but we have no money- or Food!” Arthur stuttered, trying to get one more word in before Kayne disappeared.
“Look-look-look-look-look, I can’t do everything for you! Bye-bye!” Kayne let out one last maddening laugh before clicking his fingers and disappearing.
“Kayne! You fucking- ugh.” Arthur started, but he ran out of steam. What was the point? Kayne wouldn’t hear him anyway.
“Arthur...I....” John started to apologise, but Arthur was not in the mood.
“Where are we, John.”
“We are in a dingy alley, rotten food strewn about the floor, the stars peer at us through a small sliver in the top of the alley. We are mostly hidden, though some people do walk by, none of them pay us any mind.” John’s description was long-winded as always, and to save himself listening to more, Arthur stepped forward, listening to John’s quick directions to reach the mouth of the alley.
Just as Arthur stepped onto the street, he heard a voice cut through the silence of the night and he jumped and spun around
“’Ello mister. Why might you be out after curfew? A gentleman like you shouldn’t be out after dark.” Arthur suddenly felt the cold metal of a sword on his neck.
“Arthur! Theres a man holding a sword to your neck! He has a uniform on though, his badge states ‘Sargeant, city watch’ Some kind of police, maybe?”
“Now, mister, if you don’t say something in the next five seconds, I’m gonna assume your mute.”
“Uh- hello, I suppose. Could you please take this sword away from my neck?”
“Oh, proper gentleman, eh? Where might you be from, then? I’m hopin’ you ain’t gonna stab me now, mister.” Arthur felt the sword retreat from his neck.
“I’m from- uh, England?” Arthur tried
“No such place, mister. Alright, I’m taking you to the cells. What’s your name, then?”
“Arthur, Arthur Lester. And you?”
“Didn’t read it on my badge? Sargeant Knock. Now, come along Arthur.” Just before the man could take him, Arthur punched him hard in the face, almost knocking him out. He was just about to run away when he felt something cold press against the back of his neck.
“Now, your gonna come with us, or we’re gonna have problems.”
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Arthur was shoved into the cold cell and heard the door lock behind him. No escape now, then.
“Arthur, the cell is cold, damp, and it looks dirty. There are two men already in here, one leaning against the wall and another passed out on the floor. The first man has a dangerous glint in his eye and is looking us up and down.”
“Well, well, looks like you’ve got stuck in the cell, then.” The man even sounded dangerous.
“I suppose I have. What are you in here for, then?”
“Robbery. And you?”
“I punched one of them in the face.”
“Assault! Now that is quite the serious crime, mister...?”
“Lester. You?”
“Carcer. I would say pleasure to meet you, but I’ll be out of this cell in a minute. Been such a help to the Watch, and all that.”
“Right.”
“Ugh”
“Arthur, the other man, the one on the floor has sat up.”
“Hello, Mister Vimes. I wondered when you’d wake up.
“At least they got you too, Carcer.
“Not for long, not for long. Visitor to the city. I got lost, been very helpful to the Watch, so sorry to have bothered them, here’s a little something for their trouble.”
“Who are you?”
“Arthur, the man from the floor, Vimes, has turned to us.”
“Arthur Lester. I suppose we are in here for the same thing, then.”
“Yes, I suppose. Though.... I don’t remember you. Where are you from?”
“Here. Ankh-Morpork.” Arthur needed to be careful.
“Don’t sound like it. Strange accent you’ve got there.”
“Arthur, he’s looking at us suspiciously. Oh! The door to the cell has opened, theres another man here!,”
“You- hop it”
“He’s addressing Carcer.”
“Yessir, thank you sir. You wanna watch that one, sir. He’s an animal.”
“He looks pointedly at Vimes.”
“Hop it, I said.”
“Hopping it sir. Thank you, sir.”
“He’s gone, Arthur.”
“What’s your name, then?”
“He’s looking at us, Arthur.”
“Arthur. Arthur Lester.”
“And you?”
“He’s motioned to Vimes.”
“Keel. John Keel. And I’ve had my kicking. Fair’s fair. And I’d like to go now.”
“you’re going nowhere. Captain wants a word with you.”
“That’d be Captain Tilden? Ex-Army? Wooden leg? And you’re Snouty, Aren’t you? Someone broke your nose and it never got set properly.”
“Vimes, or Keel, said that like he was figuring it out, as if he’d been here before. The other man looks confused.”
“Do I know you, mister?”
“Oh! Another man has come in, the man, Snouty, gives him something that could have been called a salute.”
“Thank you, Snouty. Now then, what’s your name?”
“He is looking at Keel and us.”
“Arthur, Arthur Lester.”
“Keel. John Keel. Look, you can only have one bit of paper in there and that’s the report from that watchman last night, assuming he can write, and-”
“Arthur! A man that looks like some sort of monk, has entered the cell, and he’s sweeping? I’m not sure what-”
“As a matter of fact, I have two pieces of paper. And the other concerns the death of John Keel, what? Yesterday. Beaten up and robbed. You took his money but you didn’t bother with the letters because your sort can’t read, what? So you wouldn’t have known that John Keel was a policeman, What?”
“What?”
“Arthur! All the people apart from the monk and Vimes have frozen, but we haven’t!”
“What? Where am I? This time?
“I’d like you to think of me as a friend- oh. Hang on. Who are you?”
“The monk has turned to us, I don’t know how to feel about this, Arthur.”
“You’re not supposed to be here. And, can you hear me?”
“Erm, yes, I can.”
“What brought you here?”
“A- uh- A being called Kayne? O-or Nyarlathotep.”
“Oh. Oh no. This is bad. You’ll mess with the storyline!”
“What?”
“And....Theres someone, something with you, isn’t there?”
“Yes. His- His name is John, John Doe.”
“It’s real name, please.
“Hey! That is my real name!”
“Full name, then.”
“Wait, you can- can you hear me?”
“Yes. Now, real name, please.”
“He is a fragment of the King in Yellow, but he’s- uh- become his own person, so to speak.”
“Hm. Well, Nyarlathotep, or Kayne as you call him, is an incredibly powerful being, and must not be messed with. I shall give you a place to rest, until you have given him what he wants.”
“Oh, uh, thank you.”
“It is my pleasure. Now- mister Vimes.”
“Arthur! The room is shifting! We’re in a bedroom, a bed is pushed to one side, and a wardrobe stands across the room, it is very plain, but we’ve slept in worse places.”
“We definitely have. Now, where’s the bed? I need to get a decent night’s rest for once.”
“Good night, Arthur.”