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Alexander took in the young brown haired boy, who was now around 17, into his large spacious villa. He smiled at him gently before leading him inside the house, trying to ease his nerves.
"Are you sure your mom's gonna like me Xander?" Blake asked cautiously, with a doubtful expression. He was trying his best but he couldn't seem to completely let go of all his worries just yet
"Honestly? I don't know, but I definitely doubt she wouldn't like you. She has a soft spot for children, motherly instincts you know? She's probably gonna love you, don't worry. I don't see any reason for her not to!"
"So...there's a chance she won't like me?" Blake asked sadly.
"No silly, that's not what I meant. Just you meet her and see for yourself. It's gonna be all okay." Xander replied in an attempt to reassure him, trying to comb out the young boys messy hair.
Diana, Xander's mother whom he dearly adored, came out of her room to meet whoever this new guest might be. She took one look at his scared brown eyes, nervous stance and the way Xander was still trying to reassure him, and instantly knew she would love him as her own son.
"Hello little boy, and who might you be? She asked gently.
"My name's Blake, it's nice to meet you Ms. Diana-"
"You may call me just Diana, Blake, you seem very sweet! It's nice to meet you"
"Erm- thank you, just Diana, it's nice to meet you too!" replied Blake excitedly, not expecting this amount of kindness.
"Uhm, Blake sweetie" Xander whispered, suddenly speaking up.
"The nice lady here means you can call her Diana, not "just Diana"." He corrected him, trying to stiffle a giggle.
"Oh! I'm very sorry for my mistake mam, I mean Diana-"
Diana smiled brightly at the young lad, already taking an adoration to him. "Ah no worries dear, we all make mistakes. Now Xander has made some cookies just to welcome you, let's go eat shall we?"
Blake's nerves instantly eased. He could finally believe what Xander said now, it would be all okay!
"Xanderr? Where are you!? I think the fridge is broken aga-" Blake called out, suddenly stopping in his tracks as he walked in on the sight of Xander, cutting his once long beautiful hair, sitting infront of a dresser with a sorrowful expression.
"Uhh, Xander-?"
Xander turned back to look at him with a startled face. "Oh- Blake, I wasn't expecting company.." he said, before placing the scissors down slowly.
"I see you cut your hair!" Blake said curiously, still confused.
"Yeah..I don't really like it much." Xander replied, still seeming upset.
"If it's of any help, I think you look nice!" Blake replied earnestly, trying to comfort him.
"I don't know.." Xander said sadly.
Blake decided to give him some alone time, Xander would be okay soon right?
It would all be all okay.
Blake impatiently waited outside the door, getting worried as Xander was staying in there for longer than usual. He tried knocking again but still got no response. After what seemed like hours, Xander finally opened the door, and the sight that Blake saw was absolutely horrifying. He let out a small shriek of terror.
Xander was covered from neck to shoulder in horrifying scars, open wounds that kept bleeding away. It was surprising he was still alive.
"Xander!? What happened to you!?? Why are you bleeding??? What happened???"
Xander tried to reassure him quickly, despite his own situation. He didn't want Blake to know what ACTUALLY happened, who had caused the scars on his body because he knew he'd hate himself if he knew. He didn't like lying to Blake, but what choice did he have?
"I don't know..but I'll be okay soon, don't you worry. Just uhhh, fell down the stairs, small accident, barely a scratch!" Which was an obvious lie, considering he was on the verge of dying from blood loss but he tried to downplay his situation as much as he could to ease Blake. "Maybe go downstairs and join Zeyn and Micah? They're probably looking for you."
Blake still looked worried, he found himself being more and more worried recently. He didn't know what or why exactly but he had a really bad feeling in his gut. He tried to get rid of it but it just wouldn't go away. But he believed Xander's lie, atleast a little comforted by how calm the other was. Xander would be okay right? He always was at the end of the day, because like he said:
It would be all okay..
Blake felt sleepy as he woke up, surprisingly earlier than usual. He couldn't sleep for some reason, despite his efforts. He didn't know what was the cause of the wave of dread that washed over him, but he wasn't too keen on finding out.
He decided to retreat to Xander's room, Xander always managed to comfort him. Though they saw each other as brothers, Blake was slowly starting to look up to him as a fatherly/motherly figure. They had grown closer over the years and he couldn't possibly imagine the pain of ever losing him.
He gently opened the door and peeked in, forgetting to knock in his sleepy haze.
Xander was obviously startled and let out a small "oh!" as he hurriedly hid something behind his back.
"Uhh, yes Blake?"
Blake wasn't exactly that stupid, he knew Xander was hiding something but he didn't want to pressure him to know. But as curiousity took over, he peeked behind his back and what he saw seemed to shatter his whole world.
It was a bottle of pills.
And they were already half empty..
He looked up at Xander's unusually pale face in horror, seeming to go temporarily speechless.
"Xander..?"
Xander looked back at him with a seemingly unreadable face, but then he felt himself break down. He felt the walls he had built around himself all these years shatter. He thought it was better this way, to hide everything and save the pain. But that didn't seem to work in the end..
He sat down, his back leaning against the wall, as Blake joined him. He didn't know what he could possibly tell him, because how was he even supposed to explain all this? Blake had enough on his plate, the least he could do was not burden him with his own. That was his responsibility right? To take care of him. He tried to think of any excuses he could use but he couldn't think of any, excuses didn't always work..he had to come clean.
"Uhm.. sometimes..the pain, it gets too much..and these? These are the only things that seem to help. I take them alot.. I'm addicted to them. I know I shouldn't, I tried to stop, alot. But it feels better like this yknow?.. didn't want you to find out.. especially not this way."
Blake looked like he was on the verge of tears, trying to hold it back though. What could he possibly do? What could he possibly say? Why couldn't he be a good brother for once and actually help instead of just letting Xander keep hurting? The one thing he was good at, helping the people he loved, couldn't he atleast get that right? Questions spun through his head as he finally faced Xander and asked him:
"How can I help you?"
Xander didn't know what to say to that. So much for being the best guardian and not even being able to console someone he was supposed to take care of. He loved Blake dearly, heck probably as much as he loved his mama. So why couldn't he respond properly?
He knew he needed to feel something, and just how much he was hiding from Blake, after all:
How would Blake respond to the scars on his arms and legs?
Burying his face in his hands, all he could say was:
"I don't know.."
So much for the usual consolations. But he just couldn't possibly say anything else.
The two just accepted the eerie silence that washed over the room. Blake couldnt accept the harsh reality.
He couldn't help him..
He failed.
"Why can't I help you?" was the last sentence he could muster out before he felt his heart completely sink.
Because it wouldn't be all okay this time
And it might never be again