Work Text:
It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep in the bed with you. It didn't take the mystic arts or a mutation to read his mind, it was clear, his intention was to be close with you at all times. You know that he yearned to feel the touch of skin against skin. His eyes painted the sadness of his soul and to you, it was a painting; that only you could decipher. Longing was a word he was both all too familiar with and had, unfortunate, complicated connotations.
His fingers reached up and over the top of the duvet. Slowly and purposefully reaching out towards you. His back was up against the bed, so his hand was stretched, palm out, asking for you to hold. Gently, but without hesitation you interlocked your fingers with his, and he squeezed his hand shut, his finger tips were cold. His grip perhaps tighter than he realised, but still a warm and loving embrace. "Sleep well, my love" he said softly. You cannot know if he continued talking after that, because the march of dreams stole you away. But when you awoke the next morning, you were greeted not just by the beauty of dust caught in the sunbeams. Or the sounds of people in the street below, or even the rushing sounds of car engines. But also, by his hand, still holding your own. Gently you shift your weight, shuffling to peek over the edge of the bed down at him. Moving very softly and slowly as not to disturb anything. You smile as you notice his eyes are shut, he finally slept.
The focus you had been maintaining on keeping quiet was broken, you had been distracted by seeing him asleep so softly in the morning sun. He can now hear you moving. His eyes flash open and he drops his hand from yours. In one smooth motion he is standing, bolt upright, eyes wild and panicked. His breathing is heavy, he looks out towards the window before snapping his gaze back abruptly back to you sat up in bed. You are sure your face must have been one of concern and worry. It had all happened so fast you were still collecting yourself. Realising it was just you, he leans back against the wall clasping his side with his metal arm. This must be all so overwhelming you think. His shoulders drop and he does his best to control his panicked breathing. "I'm sorry-" you whisper.
He swallows harshly between laboured breaths. He looks up towards the ceiling, his chest heaving wildly. You clasp your own hands together, fingers interlocked to self soothe. Thumbs rubbing over the index finger, mind racing wildly and feeling frozen in place. It was so difficult to know what to do, approaching him would likely make things worse. But sitting there, eyes pointed downwards, you felt helpless and guilty. You blink twice in succession, the seconds feeling agonisingly long. Your thoughts are buzzing, trying to make up your mind about how to approach the situation, you are distracted inside your own head. So much so, that instead you are the one startled this time, when he places a hand over yours. He's sat on the bed next to you. Not meeting your gaze, but instead staring down at your hands underneath his. "I-I Didn't mean to startle you" you start spluttering out, before he shushes you. "We're still figuring this all out, it's okay" he matches your gaze. "Let's agree to try not to scare each other okay?" he offers with a half smile. You nod with enthusiasm.
"What would make you most comfortable right now?" You offer him, he looks out towards the window. "I feel like a normal person would say going out" Unconvinced you push "But what do you want?". He sighs before responding "I think todays a day, to stay inside" "Then that's what we'll do" you smile back at him. He starts, "Thanks, I'm sorry to let you down" You shush him this time. "Don't be silly, we're still figuring this out, remember?".
You look down at your hands and say with a smile, "You win! Paper covers rock!" "w-what?" he questions with a smile "Oh come on, rock paper scissors is ancient, you must know what I mean!". "Well you have found something more ancient, me". Incredulous, you push his hand away from you and form his fingers into a fist. "It seems I must be your educator in playground games then" "Oh, is this what the youth of today get up too?" He asks playfully. You stick out your tongue in defiance. "Even fossils can learn new tricks I've been told". "Okay, okay, quit bullying your elders and show me what you mean".
You form your hand into a fist, and place the other, flat, underneath with palms up. You motion with your eyebrows towards him, requesting that he copy you. "Okay, lets see if you can keep up" You wink at him before continuing "Rock, paper, scissors, GO!" while bouncing your fist off your palm with each word. He is puzzled and watching you, unsure of what he should be doing, but with a unmistakable smile on his face. "And then you choose, rock, paper, or scissors" "Why?" He questions. "Well, that's the game! Scissors cut paper, but are crushed by rock" His brows furrow in confusion, but you continue explaining. "Paper can be cut by scissors, but covers rock!" "Wait-" He starts, but you interrupt "Don't worry, everyone agrees that one is stupid." This gets a smile from him and you are so very thankful that the energy of the room has shifted. He makes you feel so very comfortable, but there is nothing worse than worrying if someone is okay. You mime the actions along as you talk "Rock smashes scissors, but is covered by paper. So you say ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, GO! and then on GO you choose, either, rock, paper or scissors" He nods along as you talk. "At the same time, the other player also chooses which of the three, they will play! You count down together and then reveal!" "Okay, I want to try it" he says and assumes the starting position.
You square up against him, fist in palm and start. "Rock, Paper, Scissors..." He copies you, watching your fist the whole time. "GO!" and you reveal, scissors! He reveals paper, and you mime cutting through his paper. "Oh now that's not fair!" He says incredulously. "Does grandpa need a rematch?" You tease with a grin. He reassumes the fist in the palm and this time, locks eyes with you. "Bring it!" He taunts, and you prepare to rematch. His eyes are playful but, You also wonder just how competitive he might get! This time, you choose paper and he chooses scissors. However upon winning he seems to pause for a moment. "You won!" you say with exuberation motioning your flat hand for him to cut. He instead pushes your hand away, "Good game" he offers, trying his best to stay light-hearted. "Well, we're one each, we should really have a tie breaker match" you offer. You often try to keep things more light in these situations, you truly never want him to worry. "Sure" he says, placing his fist so very gently into his hand. "Rock, paper, scissors, GO!" and this time, you reveal rock, but so does he! "Now come on! We cant have a tie on the tie breaker!" you chuckle. "What do we do now?" He asks in far too serious a tone for the fun game. "Bucky" you offer, gently and kindly. "It's just a game, rock can't beat rock." You take a deep breath. "We don't have to play if you don't want to".
His eyes shoot up to yours "I do, I really do, I'm sorry, my mind isn't really here right now, It's me, I'm the rock that's trying to beat rock" He purses his lips together. "Then," You say and gently place your finger tips over his hand "We keep going, until we win" You say with a smile "No matter how long it takes, or how many tries, or even; how many crushed scissors". You see him sigh "Best of five?" he offers after shifting to have both his legs off to one side. You place your fist back onto your palm "Game on!" you say with determination. He briefly brushes your shoulders together to alleviate the tension before beating you as paper, covering your rock. "I still don't get that" he says before resetting. The sun is moving further up in the sky now, bathing the room in it's rays. You wouldn't ever say it, but you love the way his metal arm glints in the sunshine. There's so many colours and tones, You wonder how he would react if you called it beautiful. Back in the game, he wins, yet again with scissors, to your paper. But this time, he mimes cutting through your paper, with only a brief hesitation. "Congrats old timer, I guess an old dog can learn new tricks" You lightly elbow him "It's white wolf actually" He responds "Oh give over, You are always so dramatic!" you chuckle at him and he gives you a genuine smile in response. You guess he isn't as used to people not taking him seriously and poking fun, You hope that it makes a welcome change!
You join him in the combination living room and kitchen of your tiny apartment. He's rummaging through the cupboards in his pyjamas and you lean against your bedroom door to just smile and admire him for a moment, before he catches you staring. "I was trying to forage us some breakfast" he starts, clearly shocked by being noticed. "Oh mighty warrior, what food have you found for us?" you reply in a dramatic tone. "I'm thinking omelette?" he's waving the frying pan at you as he speaks. "Omelette du fromage?" You chuckle back to him and he meets you with a confused face. Rolling your eyes you reply "Dexter's lab, add it to the list!" "Not everything can fit on the list you know" he chastises. "Good point" You accept. "But maybe that's today, ticking things off the list?" You offer him. He smiles and throws a tea towel over his shoulder "But first, breakfast, now sit down and relax" He motions towards your tiny couch on the other side of the kitchen divider and with a huff you sit down. "You know I'm not very good at that relaxing thing!" You shout back at him. He throws his head back with laughter! "Maybe lets not get competitive on that one?" he offers with a smile. "True, We can't have you winning at everything!" You lean over the back of the sofa to retort.
He pulls the list off the fridge and throws it down to you on the couch. "You decide, what are we doing today?" He then places the frying pan on the hob and gets to work cooking you both food. "Oh man, You've already seen Star Wars?" You notice grumpily while flipping through the pages. "The three movies? Yeah!" Bucky replied while cracking eggs into the pan. "THREE?" You shout and stand up. "Which three?" You ask while crossing your arms. Startled he replies "A new hope-" Before being interrupted "So you've only seen the originals?!" "Y-Yes?" He replies, unsure. "Well that settles it, we are fixing that" Incredulously, you start rifling through the bookcase full of DVD's to you left. Eyes scanning up and down over the various titles. You figured physical media was best for him right now, streaming might be a leap too far for a man out of time.
You come across exactly what you are looking for. Episode 1, the Phantom Menace. You pull it out, grinning ear to ear. "We are going all the way, back to the beginning Bucky!" You show him the front cover of the DVD box. "Oh so these were made first?" He questions while flipping the omelette. "Story wise? Yes, in terms of year produced, no, not at all, These were made years later" "That's a strange way to tell a story, It would be like reading the Lord Of The Rings before the Hobbit!" Bucky offered. "Oh babes you have no idea how unintentionally funny you've just been. Because that's exactly what they did with the lord of the rings movies!" "WHAT!" Bucky exclaimed from the kitchen. "I'm surprised every day on just how stupid the future can be! It's meant to be flying cars and instead it's, telling stories in the wrong order?" You pick up a pen and scribble "That's Lord Of The Rings, On the list". Bucky serves up the omelettes on your chipped-but-still-good plates and brings them over to the couch "Okay, but me reading the books to you, that needs to go on your list" You tap the side of your temple in response. "Got it, it's on my list". Handing you your breakfast he questions "What else is on your list?" You finish swallowing your food before responding "Oh that's private". "That's not fair!" he replies after cutting up his food. "Okay, It's for me to know, and you to find out" You try again. "nefarious, okay then, have your secrets" he teases you with a grin. "As if you don't have plenty of your own" you taunt, perhaps realising this was a step too far, but instead he answers "I've told you everything" you sigh "I didn't mean it like that, I mean more, you are still full of surprises, there's a lot I haven't asked you yet or found out about you. Which is good, that's kind of half the fun of creating connections with people." He ponders "I'm trying my best not to be a mystery to you" "Bucky, It's a good thing I don't know everything about you, I look forward to finding out. Not the serious stuff but, the little things. The small things, listening to and remembering the small things about another person, is magic. I'm excited for that with you" "What small things?" he asks and you start "Well, I know that you are right handed, that despite everything you still generally don't use your left arm unless its needed. I know that you find dogs energy pretty overwhelming sometimes. That they can be a bit much, but you would never ever say that you don't like dogs. It's not that you don't like them, that's why. I don't think you dislike any animal that isn't man" He nods "That's true, I guess that is the small stuff". "I think the small stuff is the most important, Like on our third date when you pointed out the constellations to me in the night sky as you walked me home, and I told you all about the moon landing and the conspiracies people believe. How you listened so carefully even though I was certain I was blabbing. Three dates in and I was still neurvos!" He chuckled "Yeah it was crazy hearing about all that, but I think spent most of the time watching you smile". "But you still remembered, that's the small stuff" you remind him. "Value the small stuff, noted. Now, speaking of space, and stars, are we going to watch this movie?" he said with a smile.
You place the DVD into the player, and the Phantom Menace starts playing while you finish your breakfast, sat together on that tiny couch. Pyjamas and bed hair to match.
"So, when was this?" asked Bucky as the film began. "Oh it came out in the early thousands." You responded while putting your plates down on the tiny coffee table. "You mean the 2000's right?" He quizzed "Well yes, if they made this in the 1900's I'd have been impressed!" You retorted, and he turned towards you in response "I think my Ma would have been gobsmacked to see something like this, My Sister was all about the picture house though, She went to see Little Women twice in the same weekend!" You could see a smile on his face from the memory, while the iconic title crawl for the Phantom Menace could be seen from the corner of your eye. "What about you though?" Bucky pats his legs, motioning you to put your legs on top of his, You pause, checking his eyes to see if he was certain. Before slowly and gingerly placing your legs at the very edge of his knees. He grabs your calves and pulls your legs properly onto his lap, getting comfortable on the couch with you. "Not so much, it was expensive!" He pulled his hands away from touching your legs, placing one on the arm rest and one across the back of the couch, It seems his bravery with contact had it's limits. "Well that hasn't really changed, It's still awfully expensive." You reply with a smile, planning in your head to set aside some money to take him to the cinema some time. "Me and Steve saw Wings though, We promised each other we wouldn't let a dame come between us like that afterwards" "And did you keep that promise?" You prodded "Mostly" he admitted.
"Well, the phantom menace isn't exactly a romance" You nod your head towards the screen "But it is really cool". Taking a deep breath, almost like we was about to plunge underwater, he places his intact hand on your shin and slowly rubs his thumb against your leg. He's watching you the whole time and every movement is calculated. But you can tell the tension is easing. "That's okay, we only really went to watch it because it was a war movie, Steve loved all of that. I think it helped him feel closer to his father" "And you?" You questioned, "I just wanted to see him happy" Bucky admitted. "So what about you? Apart from Star Wars apparently" "That would be spoiling my list if I told you!" You were quick to defend. "I can be patient!" Bucky replied while tapping the side of his temple. "I admire your patience". "It's one of my better qualities" he replied while turning back to the television. "So, the robots with the force field, what are those?" He asks. "Droidikas! I love the way they roll into a ball like that-" "Like pill bugs!" you both exclaim at the same time, which leads you both to chuckle.
"I feel like asking you what your favourite insect is, would be really corny, like we're playing 20 questions" You lean back against the arm rest, letting your legs stretch out across his lap. "I don't even know what that is" "Oh it's, pretty immature I guess. But it's a game where you come up with 20 questions to ask someone and you both answer the same question honestly. I think there's meant to be an official list, but we always made them up" You explain patiently while Padme Amidala appears on the screen for the first time, via transmission. "How do you know so many games?" Bucky asked. "Kids get bored at school, Or in class if we were feeling extra rebellious" You wink back at him "I'd have been caned for that. Not that, that usually stopped me so I guess I can't pass judgement. Do you want to play?" He asked you. "Okay, but the rule is, you can't refuse to answer and you have to be honest" "Well, You can't make me" Bucky replied defensively, perhaps a little too defensively to be playful. "Don't worry, I trust you to play fair" You smile back at him, meaning it more genuinely than he could imagine. "Okay fine, ask away." he says while watching the film.
"Okay, question, How many times did you skip school?" You begin "I can't remember" he answered honestly. "Let me rephrase, did you ever skip school?" You were quick to offer. "Yes, you?" "Oh no, not at all, I was a good kid!" You respond. "Not even once?" He probed "I may have lied about being sick when I wasn't" you admit sheepishly. "Knew you had a disobedient streak" said Bucky. "You can talk! Why did you skip school then?" "I never said I was a good kid" he admitted. "Alright we got a bad boy in here! You come up with question then!"
"When did you lose you virginity?"
"Bucky that's pretty intense, you usually save that for at least question 10!" You answer in disbelief Eyes wide and looking at him. "Well I've never played before, you didn't explain the rules." He didn't take his eyes off the screen as he pushed "You have to answer though".
"At the legal and proper age" You replied stiffly. "What, so 16?" He asked. "Oh honey it's 18 now in America" you respond gently. "Ah, my apologies I've not exactly been keeping up" he shrugged. "But I'm guessing you just answered your own question?" You enquire. "I told you I wasn't a good kid" he said truthfully. "Now you are being even more coy than me!" With a sigh he answered "I can tell you it was before the war, Not exactly a whole lot of opportunities afterwards. She was nice, She didn't live that far from me and our parents were friends" You nod and respond with your own tale "She was my neighbour, Her parents weren't home and I snuck under her garden fence". "I knew I was right about that disobedient streak" Bucky grinned. "Maybe a bit more than you realised, It was short lived though, I had to rush back as her parents pulled into the driveway" "So you weren't caught?" Bucky asked. "Not yet!" you answered. "You cheeky minx, I like this game though, I'm learning all sorts about you!". His confidence was gaining and he started to rub along your leg with his whole hand now. "Please let me know if I hurt you, okay?" His big soft eyes turned to meet yours. "Promise".
"Have you had many dates?" You ask him next. "Of course, I'd have gone dancing every night if I could!" he answered honestly. "Ah, Bucky that's not quite what I mean". "I mean I tried out the pictures and going for ice cream but, I'm not much of a ice cream person" he replied earnestly. "That's adorable" You chastise "What?" He asks perfectly innocently. "Don't worry about it, When am I going to see you dance then?" "That's not fair, that's two questions" he waggles his finger, reminding you of the rules. "Okay, I'll wait my turn" you allow. "Now you answer, have you been on many dates?" he questioned, "Probably not as many as you may think. Dating is pretty different these days" you admit, and it was very truthful. You can't even imagine how much of a culture shock that must have been for him. Despite you both going a few dates before this, they were fairly casual, meeting for coffee or a meal. You didn't chat about dating history at all, you had so many other things to talk about. You we're incredibly awkward so you matched each other pretty well, you didn't think of course, all the cultural shifts he's had to catch up on. "Tell me about it. I know I'm old fashioned but, it's very overwhelming" "No I think everyone feels that way, no matter what century they are born in" you reply with a coy grin. Bucky abruptly turns to you, alert. "I'm so rude! I didn't make us a drink!" He gently pushes away your legs and stands up, walking into the kitchen. "Oh, I didn't even think don't worry" you place your legs down over his spot on the couch.
"What would you like darling?" he asks you from the kitchen. "Just some water please, Nothing fancy for me, I'm still waking up" you request. "Are you sure? I can fix us some coffee, tea?" he pauses at the end of the sofa. "Just water suits me, but don't let me stop you!" You smile up at him. There's nothing cuter than when he's doting and caring like this. "Okay doll, just some water" he walks back into the kitchen to fetch it for you and CRASH! You hear the unmistakable sound of glass smashing. You bolt up to see what happened.
"SHIT!" Bucky shouts and you turn the corner to see him holding his metal arm with his other. Your glass shattered on the floor below, "No, stay back!" Bucky warns, his good hand outstretched towards you, palm up. He's bent over, his metal elbow being propped up by his thigh. "It's okay don't-" You begin but he interrupts "No, I don't want you stepping on the glass". Nodding, You turn and walk into the bedroom, slip on your slippers and bolt back into the kitchen. "Don't worry, it's alright, let me help" you say calmly and step onto the linoleum. "N-No" Bucky starts to protest. You cover the short distance between you both and calmly place your hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" You ask. "No, I've fucked this all up" he whines. "It's nothing we can't fix" you reply with a smile. "Accidents happen, It's okay".
Clutching his metal arm Bucky starts "I just, I gripped it too hard and it locked up. I didn't mean too, it just broke under my fingers, I didn't realise until it was to late" "Let me see" You start and reach towards his metal arm, instinctively he flinches away. "It's okay" You try to reassure but he shakes his head. "No, this thing kills people. I. I kill people".
You take a deep breath, making sure to steady yourself and your breathing. Making certain you handle this response correctly. "I know, that you wont hurt me. You are so much more than what anyone has ever tried to make you into. You truly are safe here, and I just want to help". He looks up at you, still with so much unease and uncertainty. His good hand was running his thumb along the ridges of his metal arm, trying to move and unlock them. "I can't take that chance" he replies coldly. "There's no taking any chances here" and you reach out, in a flash and grab his metal arm. He takes a sharp breath inwards but does not pull away. Like he's wincing, preparing for a inevitability that never comes "Even if you don't trust yourself, I do. I need you to trust me, okay?" You ask and he responds, in a shaky voice "okay" but he does not unlock his muscles at all. You place both hands on his metal arm, moving your fingers along it, trying to feel where the fault is. Under your breath you notice yourself saying "shhh" like a soothing tone you would say to a frightened animal.
You get to around the elbow joint and you feel it. It's like the plating has dislodged "Let me know if this helps, okay?" You meet his gaze and he nods, his eyes still full of fear. You push in on the section of metal plating with all of your, in comparison, pretty lack lustre strength. His fingers snap open and he's able to wiggle them more freely, even if it's still stilted. "How's that?" You ask. "B-Better" he admits, still flexing his metal fingers to loosen the joints. "Perhaps you need some WD-40 for that thing!" You joke light-heartedly, but he does not laugh in response. "I should clean this up" he states flatly at the mess on the ground and you give him a stern look. "You will do no such thing".
"No, I should" he tries again and you place a finger over his lips. "James, sit down on that sofa, and do not get up until I tell you to, That's an order". Sheepishly he relents and walks over to the sofa. You grab the dust pan and brush and sweep up the left overs of your glass. He was right, it didn't smash from being dropped, he had crushed it and then dropped it. You try not to consider that being bones instead, you shake off those unhelpful thoughts.
You empty the glass into the bin and reach up into the cupboards to retrieve a kettle. He peeks over the top of the couch "What are you doing?" He asks, His voice smaller than usual. Somewhere, deep down, is still a scared little boy. You just hope you can make him feel as safe as he deserves. The way he makes you feel. "Making us tea, I've decided it's time" You start preparing while peeking over at the phantom menace which was still playing on the TV. "Can I help?" He offers, "I told you, to not get up until I told you too, I'm perfectly capable" you retort. "That's besides the point, I'd like to help" Bucky went to try to stand up and you rushed into the living room, spoon in hand, waggling it towards him. "Heaven help me I will tie you down to that couch if I have too, stay put and let me take care of you already". He blinks slowly in response. "Good boy" You offer with a cheeky grin before returning to the kitchen.
The kettle was making its little whizzing sound and you pull it off the hob, mugs at the ready. You look down at your pitiful mug selection and wonder, which mug should be which. You decide the answer to the puzzle is to place both on the coffee table and see which was chosen. "Milk, Sugar?" You ask from the kitchen "Both" he responds from the couch, "please" he offers after a moment of pause. You wonder if he internalised being called a good boy there and remembered to be polite, how sweet. You bring both mugs into the living room and set them down on the coffee table, taking your seat you watch him closely.
He looks up at you and then down at the mugs "Who's is who's?" He asks. "You tell me" You respond with a smile. On the table were two mugs, one was white, with pink cursive that read 'Disney Princess' with a glittery gold crown. The other? was a navy blue mug with Captain America's shield. Both had seen better days and had been in your cupboard longer than you can remember, You are fairly sure the cap mug was your fathers. Finally he reaches down and takes the Disney Princess mug, although he shoots you a frustrated look while doing so. "How's the arm?" You ask to change the subject. "Would it make any sense if I said sore?" he responded genuinely "Probably not, but I don't have a Vibranium arm. You could take it off if that's easier?" You offer and he tenses up in response. You receive no reply so, you yourself reach down and pick up the Captain America mug and drink your tea.
The movie continues while you sit together without talking. The adventure moves from Naboo, to Tatooine and you find yourself engrossed in the tale. So enthralled with the story were you, that you didn't notice Bucky was staring at you the whole time. "Do you do that often?" You ask him. "You sound like Sam now" he responds without moving. "Well, It's about to be pod racing, You should probably pay attention" "Oh I've been watching the whole thing, I can multi task" he replies flatly. "Are you sure? You seem more intent on watching me" "Is that a bad thing?" He asks. "Do you often feel like that" and with a smile he responds "Always" before leaning over. So gently, but without hesitation, and kisses you softly on the lips. His hands are kept away from you, but yours aren't kept away from him. You place your hand on his cheek. You can feel his rough skin against your palms, he isn't perfectly clean shaven but his bristles don't hurt. You can feel your heart racing in your chest, this is the first time he's kissed you, here. Somewhere so private like this. It's always been a goodbye kiss at the end of a date, or holding hands, but he's never kissed you alone and in your home. But being touched seems to be a step too far for him and he slowly pulls away to sit back down. You sit there for a moment, somewhat in a state of shock at what had just happened, but not in a negative way. You can feel yourself blushing but he seems as stone faced as ever. But you notice that he leans with his chin on his hand, covering his mouth, as he looks off towards the screen.
"Did you just kiss me to shut me up?" you ask in a sarcastic tone. "Does that work?" he queried, not moving. "Evidence is to the contrary" you say and pull your legs up and onto the couch. Crossing your legs and facing him, as he leans away from you and looking towards the screen. After a moment you ask "Have I done something wrong?". Anxiety getting the better of you as his body language was a mystery. He closes his eyes solemnly and sighs. "No" and you breathe a sign of relief "You never do, It's me" he clarifies. "I didn't think you did anything wrong" you offer, in-fact you would very much like him to do that again you think to yourself. "Not, wrong...." He trails off before straightening up. "I don't want to hurt you". "I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm always afraid to get close to people, no matter how much I want to". You nod before replying "But you didn't, and I'm here, I'm okay! and you even stayed the night".
He turns to you with a half-smile "Well, slept on your floor, Staying the night has quite the implication". "Would that be so wrong to suggest?" you ask and his face goes white. "Did you not just see me crush your glassware earlier?" he asks in a concerned tone. "Yes, and you can buy me a nice replacement if you like" you reply cheerfully. "Be serious".
"I am, I'm not frightened of you. The only person frightened here, is you, of yourself"
"For good reason"
"Perhaps, but you are also free to do whatever you want to do. I'm never going to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. I just want you to be able to be the man you want to be. To do whatever you want. No matter what that looks like, or what we need to do, to get there". You grin at him "I'm not going anywhere, not unless you ask me too" his eyes soften "I don't want you to go anywhere" he admits. "Good, lets start with that, now? Are you going to watch pod racing with me, or do you want to talk through one of the best race scenes put to cinema?"
He leans towards you, one arm over your shoulder, holding onto the arm of the sofa. He's hovering above you, face merely inches from your own. You can feel his breath on your skin, all along your neck. He smiles down at you and you freeze. You are completely startled and taken aback by what is happening. But also maybe more than a little bit spellbound by how handsome he is. He grabs the remote from the coffee table and presses the pause button. You look at the remote. At the TV screen and then finally back to him.
As you do, he leans back down towards you and kisses you again. There's so much more force and passion this time, his body totally enveloped around you. You guess this is the answer to your question. He pulls away, but only briefly to catch his breath, not opening his eyes before turning his face to the other side and kissing you again. You can feel his chest moving right above you, the tension in his arm muscles from staying poised above. You are the one to break away this time, breathless you ask "Can I touch you?" He instead kisses you again and you insist by pushing him away, with a hand against his chest. Only enough for him to sway back slightly and break lips. Your eyes were still locked and he was still so close to you. "Bucky, Can I touch you?" You ask in a pleading tone "I'm being serious". "Tell me" He briefly presses his lips to yours again and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body, before saying "How do you want to touch me?". His voice is so deep, it's intoxicating being around him like this. He kisses you again and you move your body up with him as he goes to pull away, desperation radiating out of you, never wanting him to let go. "Tell me" he repeats.
You look up into his eyes, cheeks flushed and hands still in your lap. "I-I want to run my fingers through your hair, to pull you in closer" You swallow nervously before continuing "If that's okay, if you don't want me to that's alright too..." He smiles and you trail off. "Yes, you can" he places a finger under your chin and pulls your face up to reach his. You try to stifle a moan from escaping between your lips as you desperately pull yourself up to kiss him. both hands locking around the back of his head. You push the short hairs at the nape of his neck along your finger tips. That hand wanders further down to the back of his neck and across the top of his shoulders. You knew that he was strong but it was another thing entirely to touch him like this, to feel all the muscles locked tightly. You use this as a anchor point to steady yourself. The other hand, moves further up the back of his head, where the hair was long enough to grab onto. Your fingers were like talons, gripping into his hair you needed him closer to you, he had become your only thought. You knew he could so easily break away if he wanted, but it was still fun to pull him in closer and exercise your own desire and need.
"Can I touch you?" he pants breathlessly, staring down at your lips. "H-How do you want to touch me?" You manage to get out, your mind very much struggling to contemplate words in the current moment. "I need all of you" he admits, his brows furrowing together. He will never be able to comprehend the effect those words had on you. Before you were even fully conscious of your actions you had grabbed his hand and moved it down to your waist. "You can do whatever you want to me" you say, eyes fixed together. You nod towards him for confirmation and add "I will tell you if I need to stop, so long as you promise to do the same?" and he nods back at you "I promise". His other hand holds the back of your head as he slowly leans you down to be laying flat with your back against the couch, lips locked with yours the entire time. He pushes his knee up between your legs, parting them, so that he can lay down on top of you, between your spread legs. You feel your eyes roll into the back of your head as he does. He's so strong and moves you around with ease, he seems confident in what he's doing but, not practiced. He takes a while to get the rhythm right, you wager he's either not had a lot of experience, or hasn't done this in a while. But the desire is strong and his passion is outweighing that immensely. You desperately need this man, right now.
*buzz* You hear the unmistakeable sound of a phone vibrating. You both pause as the sound hits your ears. He pulls his lips away from you and gently touches your foreheads together, catching your breath. "I should probably get that" he says, his eyes still closed. "I'll be right here" you promise "I'm counting on it" he smiles and agonisingly pulls himself away from you. He struggles up to his feet, and you turn onto your side, lounging along the full length of the couch. He excuses himself into the bedroom, grabs his phone and walks back into the living room, he's mostly caught his breath when he answers. "What is it?".
There's a pause before he continues "Could this not have waited?" He looks at you and grins before saying "I do actually have a life you know". You can't hear the other side of the phone call or who's speaking. "Yes I was actually in the middle of something important" he starts gently pacing the room. "Not like that" he states defensively facing away from you. "Get to the point" he says turning around and you can for sure see that he's anxious to get back to you. Tapping his toes on the ground, looking around the room impatiently. "I don't owe you an explanation of what I'm doing at every moment. I don't ask for updates on you and your life you know". He motions for you to move your legs and he sits down on the couch, feet firmly on the ground. You lounge your legs over his lap and watch him with a grin. "Probably because I don't care" he huffs out and leans forward on the couch. Elbows resting on his knees. You kick your slippers to the floor and shift around to get comfortable, You have a inkling he's talking to a friend and he does not have too many of those to guess from. You realise, now is a perfect time to be devious. You do your best to hide the grin that is begging it's way to flash across your face. You subtly slide your foot across his lap, from one leg to another. Making extra effort to rub across his crotch as you do, intense enough to be noticed, but subtle enough to be laughed off if needed, not being certain if you would get a reaction. However, it is immediate.
His whole body tenses up and you see him grip that phone a lot tighter. He keeps looking forwards, perhaps to maintain his composure. That composure was now your mission, your game to break. "W-what do you actually need from me right now?" He stumbles slightly on the first word, but is doing his best to not sound like he's being mercilessly teased by you right now. Mercilessly was the word of the hour, you didn't really know how to broach a lot of topics of, what he could be into. On the one hand you were awkward and shy, but on the other? You also had a feeling he wouldn't know what you were on about. You figured the best way to find out was through, you dub it in your head, 'field research'. "What do we need to go to the Bahamas for? I didn't ask for vacation time" he managed before biting his lip, you could see the Goosebumps all along his arms too. You wiggle your toes in succession while taunting and teasing him. You love seeing the reaction his body was having to you, it just made you even more determined to make this phone call one, of desperately trying to keep it together. Fearing you didn't have much time left before he would be free, you rotate your body around on the couch, to lie on your stomach. This makes him break his forward stare to look down at you. He's trying to read your next move. You give him a smile and put one hand on the centre of his chest, and push him back to sit slouched on the couch. You barely touch him before he complies, your hand was more of a indication of intended action. You tug at one of his pyjama bottom strings and the bow unties itself perfectly in one motion, Smoother than you expected things to go in fairness.
You pull down on his waistband enough for his cock to spring free, while not fully pulling down his pants. He looks up towards the ceiling and you can see him mouthing words to himself silently. "Are you not able to handle this on your own?" Bucky asks down the phone helplessly. Hoisting yourself up to be kneeling next to him, You finger by finger, from the pinkie, to the ring finger, then the middle and index grip around his member and finally curve your thumb around to meet them. You can't actually touch them together, which had most certainly taken you by surprise, a very welcome one. His metal arm shoots out and grips the back of the couch, You are suddenly worried that the upholstery may not survive.
You tense your hand closed, getting a feel of how hard you should grip and you see him firmly biting his bottom lip in response, this was easier than you expected. "W-what do you mean I'm on speaker!" Bucky exclaimed, his voice ever so slightly breaking, you wondered if anyone else picked up on that too, it caused you momentary pause before continuing with your teasing. You started by moving up and down agonisingly slowly but speeding up incrementally, His knees has fully locked and he was doing everything he could to keep quiet. "Are there not any super powered people you could ask? It's a big universe now" Bucky offered down the phone, obviously anxious to not be on the call any longer. You'd feel sorry for him, if he wasn't getting so much attention right now.
You lean forwards, as you start to maintain a steady rhythm, you can smell just how tremendously riled up he is. Your face is so close to his dick now. It's sending your mind into a frenzy, like you can feel your whole body trembling for it. You ask yourself who was really the one being teased here, you find yourself biting you own lip too. He pulls himself away from staring upwards to the ceiling, to instead stare down at you and he mouths "Don't you dare" at you. You meet his gaze and you both lock eyes with each other for a moment. Before, without breaking eye contact, you let your tongue tumble out of your mouth and with a curling motion you lick along the tip of his dick. His metal arm moves from the back of the couch to grip the countertops behind, He was equally concerned it seems about him ripping through your couch. He was using his iron grasp on the counter to steady himself and he was evidently starting to breathe more heavily. You didn't let this slow down or stop you. "C-Can't you call me back tomorrow?" Bucky pleaded down the phone, You could swear you saw his lip tremble too. Using this as a sign to ramp things up, you took the whole head in your mouth at once and swirled your tongue around the tip. You drop your gaze from being locked on him to focus on interacting your mouth and hand together on his dick. You can feel him, so subtly that you aren't entirely sure if you are imagining it, bucking his hips, pushing himself further into your mouth. He's doing everything he can to control his body but, you can tell part of him, really wants this. What you didn't anticipate was Bucky saying down the phone "Hold on a second" and leaning the phone far away from you both with his arm outstretched. His metal arm unclenched itself from the counter top, Which had a unmistakable indent in it now. His same arm grabs you by your long hair. He was so strong he stopped you from being able to move an inch. He leans down to whisper directly into your ear. "If you don't stop misbehaving like this, I make no apologies for what I will do you later".
You feel your whole body quiver in response, locking eyes with him as he's almost growling in your ear. It seems the tables had turned. He lets go of you and pulls the phone back up to him. You made a mental note to teach him about the mute function later on. You run your tongue from the base of his shaft right back up to the top of his cock. His knee is starting to bounce now as well, almost like his whole body is struggling even more to stay in control. "Fine, I'll do it, text me the details and I will be there, You had better be right about this Sam" he responded with palpable frustration down the phone before hanging up. There was an air of silence for a moment before you pulled your mouth away from him. Running a thumb along your bottom lip, you look up at him to see how he was. His chest was still heaving with the uncontrolled breaths he was taking. He leant back to place the phone on the counter top. Before turning to look at you, right at you. You let go of him completely, unsure what was about to happen next.
"I can't believe you did that" He lets out shakily. "Have I upset you?" You asked genuinely, It had all been fun up until now but you for sure didn't want to immediately take things too far. "No, Did I upset you?" He asked, turning to look at you "No, God no. Far from it" You clarify. "Just, tell me the second you feel uncomfortable okay, I had a lot of fun but, The last thing I want to do is ruin this" he clarifies and pulls you into his chest to be held. You lean up to kiss him, just briefly and just gently. "Don't worry, we both promised each other. Now, what do you want to do?" You ask him, snugging into his chest and feeling his arm around you, holding you close. "I might need to take breaks like this" he admits "Time out's. It's not really expected for people of my generation to act like this, On top of well." "Everything else" You clarify for him. "Everything else" He repeats. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "Well" He smiled down at you "I do have another promise to keep now". Your cheeks were immediately aflame as you realised, you had indeed, kept going and kept misbehaving.
"But, can you allow me to be a little, more gentle first" He offers "That's more than okay, I'm also facing a lot of my fears here too. I trust you, I do. But my trust has not always been placed well" You clarify, with eyes shut, feeling so very safe in his arms. He places a hand on your cheek and rubs it softly, you lean into it and smile. "It's going to be okay darling" he says. He then leans down and pulls the waistband of his pyjamas back up to sit on his hips, then back up to your cheek "You are so exceptional you know, I really did have a nice time" You blush again, even more deeply, but now he can directly feel how warm your cheeks are. "Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" He asks you while rubbing along your back with the hand holding you close to him. "I need you to stop when I say to stop." You say, in such a flat tone that you notice it yourself. You go on to clarify more emotively "Which, I know sounds obvious but, I guess I mean. Stop when I need too, not when it's convenient for you. I need to feel like, my comfort is a priority". "Of course" he says back gently "I'm here to be with you, because of you. Not in spite of you and your needs". "And don't spit on me, I'm not into that" you say with a chuckle. He gives you a confused look "Do people....do that?". "I mean I'm sure everyone always has. I don't mind being degraded but, not like that" you clarify, wondering what, if any, pornography this man had seen this side of the millennium.
"So, what was the phone call about in the end?" You ask to distract. "Oh, they want me in the Bahamas tomorrow. Protection detail apparently, someone has a threat from a otherworldly entity and they want the most powerful people around, just encase something happens". "That sounds dangerous" You say with concern and sit up to look him in the eyes. "It's very likely going to be nothing. But it's sadly a condition of me being on the pay roll that's it's difficult to say no" He sighs. "It could be worse though, I've spent enough time being frozen, some sun may do me good!"
"I guess that's one way to look at it, what was Sam teasing you about?" You ask. "Oh he was asking if I had romantic company. Acting as if that was unlikely" "Little does he know he was spot on, I guess you can't make him eat those words" You chuckle and give Bucky a peck on the cheek. "Oh but I can, You could come to the Bahamas with me" Bucky said with a grin. "Wouldn't that be dangerous?" You ask and he laughs "I always feel like you are safer when you are with me than when you aren't. No matter the circumstances". "Okay, deal, Bahamas holiday it is then!" You say excitedly. "I know nothing about the Bahamas" he admits flatly and you crack up laughing "No, me either!" "Oh thank god, I thought I was just being out of touch as usual" he says with a smile. "No I'm just as lost, but it should be fun, I think anywhere with you would be fun though" you say and wrap your arm around his chest. "Now that, that's settled, where were we?" he asks leaning down to kiss you on the neck softly.
"I think, you were enjoying romantic company" you giggle. "Oh yes, that's right. You we're misbehaving but, being utterly gorgeous while doing so" He grabs you around the waist and pushes you down onto the couch, mouth still at your neck, kissing you intensely. "Be careful, You don't want to give me love bites right before we see your friends" You caution, tapping him on the nose. "Now why wouldn't I want everyone to know that your mine?" He says while playfully nibbling at your neck. The hand on your waist moves down to your thigh and he hooks his hand into the back of your knee cap and hoists your thigh up to wrap around his body. "Can you be a good girl for me?" he asks while biting much more aggressively into your neck. You start to melt from all of the affection "I-I can try" you admit softly. His hips start to thrust gently against your own and you feel his breathing quicken, You are struggling to hold back your own panting and feel more and more noises escaping your lips. He breaks his lips away from your neck to lean up to kiss you, passionately and full of lust. You can feel how much harder he's getting each time he grinds against you, still being clothed feeling agonisingly teasing. "I don't know how much of this I can take" you admit breathlessly, Your own hips were starting to buck against his, begging for more. "Tell me how desperate you are" he questioned, between kisses. "B-Baby please" You whimper while out of breath, hands around his hips, pulling him in closer. "That's not an answer sweetheart" he responds, running his fingers through your hair and kissing you on the forehead. "Be a good girl for me, and use your words" he said while gently placing a thumb under your chin and pulling your eyes up to meet his. "I-I..." You stutter, words had failed you. You take a deep breath and feel him relaxing his hips down to a more steady pace.
"Please doll, speak to me" he asked so sweetly. You had no idea how he was keeping control right now, perhaps he was more practiced than you, Or maybe you we're just really horny. "H-How strong are you?" You ask shakily. "It that a trick question?" He asks, his pace slowing even further to allow you to think. "I want to feel how strong you are" You ask, eyelashes fluttering as your cheeks blush red. "Are you sure about that my love?" He asked again. You nod and touch his cheek with your hand, pulling him down for a kiss. "Alright but, I have to make sure you can walk tomorrow okay?" he grinned at you. "I'd call that optional" You say between constant kisses, mouth open, trying to taste him. "And that's why I'm the sensible one" he chuckled. "Okay, okay. Put your arms around the back of my neck" he commands.
He looks down to make sure both arms were safely hooked into the crease of your legs, before looking back up to meet your eyes "You sure about this?" He asks again. "I trust you on, whatever you are about to do to me, Are you okay?" you say honestly with a smile. "I'm okay, Just don't expect anything too wild okay?" Just like that, he picks you up, getting to his feet and carries you over to the wall on the right. He pushes your back up against the wall and your legs lock around the back of his hips, crossed together. He smiles before kissing you, open mouthed, finally. You can feel him pushing your face back to be flat against the wall and yet you keep reaching forwards, over and over. He moves his hands from inside your knee crease to holding you up by your waist, pulling your shirt up slightly in the process. Both of his hands were touching your bare flesh, the metal making you shiver momentarily. "Sorry It's cold, It's my back up arm" he flashed you a grin "Talking raccoon stole my good one".
"That happen to you often?" You ask cheekily "Only recently" he admits before pulling you down, so that only your shoulders were against the wall, if you weren't still clothed he would have been fully inside you already. Your hands let go from his neck and, leaning over your head, palms facing to the wall, letting your finger tips brush against the tiles. He really was holding you up fully with no effort at all. It barely even seemed like he needed to tense his arm muscles at all. The position change had pulled your lips apart from one another, but he made sure to put his mouth to work immediately. He leant down to bite the bottom of your pyjama shirt between his teeth, and he pulled it up slowly, flicking eye contact between you and the more and more of your body that was being revealed. He finally gets your shirt up to around your neck and he lets go with a grin. He kisses his way down your chest to your breasts and places his whole mouth around your nipple, flicking over it with his tongue, Your eyes roll back in your head as you feel them both getting hard. He makes sure to give both ample attention.
"Let your legs go slack" he asks of you when pausing to breathe "W-what for?" You enquire, "Don't worry, I won't hurt you, and if you don't like it, tell me, and I'll stop." he clarifies. A little unsure you leg your legs go completely slack on either side of him. It didn't seem to shake him at all. He wasn't kidding when he said he would show you how strong he is. With his metal hand, he lets go of your waist, you panic for a brief moment before realising, he still has you, and it's okay. At this point you are being held in the air entirely balancing by one hand. His metal hand however, which now reaches back, over your head, fingers outstretched. They reach out towards your own hands, he gives you a small kiss on the lips. He smiled, realising that he had perfectly distracted you. You look back at him puzzled, having no idea that he had both of your wrists expertly gripped in his metal hand, he then pulls you up by your wrists alone and drops his other arm from your back. He pulls you up, and walks you back so that you are flat against the wall, being held in place just by your wrists. Which were crossed over each other and held securely in this grip. You wiggle your feet, being suspended above the floor. He leans in towards you and smiles. "You see why I thought it was a trick question" he tells you. You look up at your wrists being held in place, there was no way you were wiggling free of his grip. "I'll admit that's pretty impressive. This is no effort for you at all?" you query. "Not really, Are you okay though?" "Oh yeah this is awesome! I've never had someone be able to hold me up with such ease before, But what else can you show me?" You ask with a grin.
He takes a step forward so that his body is pressed up against yours. He presses his free hand up against your hip and kisses you on the cheek, You turn your head to try to catch his lips. "Now now, You promised to be a good girl" he reminded you, face just far enough away that you couldn't get to him. "No, I said I'd try" You respond quickly, "No promises made".
"I think you can try a bit harder than that for me though" he teased, pressing his weight down on you and whispering into your ear. His hand moves from your hip, across your stomach, before rotating his wrist around, so that his palm was facing against your stomach. He presses his hand against your skin and slowly moves it down your body. Under the waist band of your pyjamas. Your legs are starting to writhe around as he teases you and he hitches one of his legs up, bent at the knee, to keep your leg open and off to the side, resting on top of his. His other leg was straight and taking both of your weight, as well as keeping your other leg from allowing you to move inwards and close your legs shut. "You are mine, remember" he whispers into your ear. The whimpering and moaning and begging that was escaping your lips was, not, very good girl behaviour, but he seemed to encourage it. His fingers slip under your waist band, moving effortlessly downwards and between your lips, then over your clit, you audibly gasp "Oh my god" while thrusting your hips against his hand. "Is that better sweetheart?" he asks before leaving a perfectly positioned love bite on your neck. It was a good thing he was holding you up because you had lost complete control over your limbs at this point. He pushes his fingers down your eager body further and slowly, gently, but without much resistance, pushes one finger inside you. "F-Fuck" you manage between gritted teeth, "I can't believe how fucking wet you are for me" he says while pushing deeper and deeper into you. Seemingly starting to lose control himself he fully bares his teeth and bites into you neck, holding you in place with just his jaw. You can hear the strained "unf" sound he made while having you in his mouth like that. It was feral and raw, but his lips were still pressed against your neck. Even when being so dominant like this, he was loving and caring, covering you in kisses. You had never been so teased, so horny and so desperate in your entire life. Every cell in your body was aching for him. You didn't even know desire on this level was possible. Just when you feel yourself starting to grind more aggressively against his hand, he pushes yet another finger inside you. You can't hold your moaning back anymore, you were loud and unrestrained. Begging him for more, over and over and over. Stumbling over your words, stuttering and trembling, he doesn't understand. You have transcended wants, this is a need.
"And you thought I was teased easily" He chastises. "Oh I could slap you right now" You respond through gritted teeth and narrowed eyebrows. "Now now, have we not learned our lesson from misbehaving already?" he taunts, pushing both his fingers up and to the knuckle. "You are one...to talk" You manage to half talk-half growl out. You we're fully trying to use all of your strength to be able to move, knowing full well you are exactly where you want to be, even with your body writhing under his grip. "I'm just fulfilling a promise my love, It would be rude of me not to" Thrusting in and out of you with such intense force didn't cause him any form of exertion or exhaustion, his speech was perfectly clear, his voice buttery smooth. "I-I think I need to stop" you manage to whisper out between trembling lips. His reaction is immediate, he retracts his fingers from inside you, gently, His other hand holding you up by the wrists slowly moves down the wall. Until he lets go and uses his metal arm to grip you securely around the waist instead. His feet are placed flat on the floor and he lets yours do the same. "Do you need to lay down?" He asks gently, You simply nod in response and he gently lowers you onto the carpet, he makes sure to pull your shirt down to fully cover your skin and brushes the hair from your eyes. "It's okay, It's all okay" he reassures. "I'm s-sorry-" you start and he shushes you softly. "N-No I'm okay, I just, my arms really hurt" you clarify wiping the little tears at the edges of your eyes away. "It's okay if it wasn't just that you know" he says, laying beside you, balancing on his elbow.
"It's mostly just that, I promise. I just also don't think my body can quite keep up with yours" you admit with a smile "Now seems like a good time for us both to take a breather then" he smiles and gives you a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Do you need anything?" He asks. "N-no I'm okay, I don't want to stop for too long, if that makes any sense" you roll into him so you are laying face to face. He leans down and kisses you on the forehead "Whatever you need".
You reach down and hold his free hand with your own, "Are you sure you are comfortable with this?" You ask him seriously, staring down at your hands being locked together. "My love, I'm not as beautifully innocent as you want to paint me to be" he chuckles at you and pulls your held hands up to his mouth to kiss the back of yours. "This isn't about you being a gentleman" you clarify "It's good to know I still am one though" he pulls your held hands into his chest. "But to answer your question, yes, I am comfortable with this, are you?" he asks. "I am, I think I've just been worried about you not being okay, and needed to get that out of my head" He nods in response. "I'll tell you when something goes too far okay?" he leans down to kiss you on the lips but stops short, before you respond "Okay" and he touches his lips to yours. "Would you like to be touched again? or do you need to stop?" he asks you. "Give me a minute to catch my breath, and then yes, I'm desperate for you to touch me again" you respond, breaking away from the kiss to lie flat on your back.
"Give me a second" he says before standing up and stepping away from you on the floor. He disappears into the bedroom, before re appearing and throwing a pillow down to you. You place it behind your head before asking "Don't you want one?". He merely laughs in response, Why is he always so devious you say inside your own head. He kneels down on the floor, at your feet. He motions for you to spread your legs and he shuffles up. "Are you comfy?" he asks and you nod in response before asking "why?" he places both hands on your hips and pulls you down closer to him. "Can I surprise you or would you rather I talk you through what I'm doing?" he asked genuinely, meeting your gaze in the process. "Can we meet somewhere in the middle? You don't need to tell me everything you are doing but, I'd like you to talk me through it and check in on occasion. Is that alright?" You ask, readjusting the pillow behind your head. "We can do that, but first" he points to your pyjama bottoms. "These have to go" he commands. You go to reach down to remove them, but he places his metal hand firmly on the centre of your chest and lightly pushes you back to be laying down. "Are you okay with me doing that?" he asks and you nod at him, blushing.
He lets you go, and both his hands get to pulling down your pyjama bottoms. You raise your hips to help him, still a little unsure of what was going on, but also excited. He looks down at his metal arm and then back up to you, "Sorry about the cold" he smiles and then touches both of his hands to each of your inner thighs. You flinch a little at the cold metal touch "That's mean" you reply, "It's the quickest way to make it warm" he admits and you raise a single eyebrow at him. "I'm not comfortable with warming it up like that" he admits flatly, sensing your thoughts "No, I thought that would be a lot for me too" you admit.
There's a brief moment of silence between you, It's not awkward, it's just a moment of pause. Nobody here wanted to rush anything, You had all day after all. He flips his hands over so that the tops of his hands are instead against your inner thighs, warming them up against your body. Before lying down onto his stomach, arms and hands wrapping around your thighs. You find yourself feeling so very shy all of a sudden and can't look down at him, you instead look up towards the ceiling. So it comes as a total shock when he pulls his tongue right along your clit, you even audibly gasp. He leans down to kiss it gently, noticing you were now looking down towards him. His eyes look up and meet yours. He looks so stunningly beautiful. He kisses the inside of your thighs too, and you can see him smiling. "It seemed only fair to do the same for you" he admitted. "I'll make sure not to crush you" you promise breathlessly "Oh I was rather counting on that" he grinned, before dropping eye contact. He moves back to the centre. Placing his lips so very softly and gently around you, running his tongue backwards and forwards along your clit. Slowly and passionately. "F-Fuck, Oh Y-yes" escapes your lips as your head snaps back, you did your best to be quiet but there's no way he didn't hear you. His grip on your thighs gets tighter as he pulls himself further into you, You are doing everything you can not to buck your hips, but occasionally a small thrust slips through from pure desperation.
His intact arm gently lets go of your thigh, never breaking his rhythm, he gently slips his two fingers back inside you. Your hands grip into the carpet, nails dragging along it "P-Please" you manage out between moans. He pulls his fingers almost all the way out, merely finger tips inside, he pauses to ask you "How much do you want this?" He gently leans down to kiss you, every so lightly. Enjoying taunting and teasing you ever so much, as if you had not already had enough of that. You can't help yourself, you buck your hips against his lips, and fingers, whining in the most needy tones you had ever heard your mouth make. Your thighs had started to ever so slowly move closer and closer together, until now they were brushing against his ears. All at once he plunges his fingers back inside you, the arm that gripped your thigh pulling you down onto him until he couldn't push any further. His mouth was all too attentive too, sucking, licking, kissing. Rolling the tip of his tongue over you. You could feel him flicking back and forth, back and forth. The noises you were making were all forms of unholy. Swear words you didn't even know that you knew. Curses to the divine, unmistakable scratches along the carpet, crawling and gripping your way to ecstasy.
It wasn't even something that registered in your mind, it was pure instinct for your thighs to start to press against the side of his head. He dropped his hand from around your thigh and instead used it to prop you up, hand splayed out along the small of your back. Legs crossed together around the back of his head, his fingers moving in and out of you faster. With more and more force, being manhandled in a way you didn't even know was possible from mortals. You were now fully grinding against his tongue, his mouth, his face. You are sure you feel him pause for a moment, but you can't stop now. You CAN'T stop. The heat rising through your cheeks, the pulsing, the...longing. It was too much.
Desperate, you use one arm to steady yourself against the ground and the other reaches out and grips the top of his hair. Fingers locked into a fist, refusing to relent. Holding him down and into you. "Y-Yes" you start chanting breathlessly. You aren't just holding him there either, you are pushing him up and down, over and over, grinding his face into you. You have no idea what came over you to be so bold. You can feel his chest heaving, but his arms never tiring. You keep pushing, and pushing, and pushing, begging and willing yourself over the edge. When you finally feel yourself going, he keeps pace, pushing you through, riding out the wave with you. There's no such thing as moaning anymore, it's screams, It's all inhibitions removed. You cum with his face firmly locked up close to you, grinding and riding as he jackhammers you mercilessly. As the moment wains, you release his hair from your grip, finger by finger, with shaking hands and he pulls back, just a inch to hyper ventilate. He takes a huge breath, like a man saved from drowning. Before mercilessly kissing you between your legs, between breaths. You unlock your legs from the back of his head and instead rest them on his shoulders gently. "I could feel you, all around me" he manages breathlessly, moving his fingers inside of you. "F-Fuck you felt so good" he pants, and frankly? You feel like you could have cum again immediately from the way those words made you tense up, everywhere. He slowly pulls his fingers from being inside you and uses both arms to lower you back down onto laying on your back again. His hands being able to effortlessly change between power and softness.
"C-can I?" he stutters, sitting up straight, rubbing over his clothes, where he was clearly rock hard. "F-Fuck I need too" he follows up, so desperate he was basically already jacking himself off through the fabric. You reach up and grab his shirt, pulling him down on top of you. You pull him in to kiss you and you can hear him let out a flustered moan as his cock brushes against you. You release him from the kiss and he pulls his dick free from his waist band, whimpering from desperation as he rubs his shaft. Not even his fingers can touch together around his girth when he's this riled up, despite how large his hands were in comparison to your own, which you were now very acquainted with. Holding himself firmly, he starts rubbing himself against your clit. Shivering and shaking as his cock teases you over, and over. You were still so swollen and hard that you could feel him so intensely. You start to move your own hips in unison. "I-I d-don't know h-how much longer I-I can hold t-this" he manages to get out, his metal arm gripping you by the hips, raising and lowering his head with every breath, his grip getting tighter and tighter.
You realise, he's waiting for permission. Your brain has been such a mess, so focused on cumming yourself you had not realised he was checking in with you. As the realisation dawns you quickly manage out "Then d-don't, You have my p-permission". Your words come out half as a mumbled mess, but he seems to understand you clearly enough. His hands are shaking as he pulls his dick down to push inside you. It's better than you could have ever imagined. He lets go of your hip and half falls forward from being so overwhelmed. His hand is on the floor next to you, holding up his entire body weight. His whole body is getting momentary shakes from the pleasure as he pushes deeper and deeper inside you. "Oh good god" he says rolling his eyes all the way back as he hilts in you. Both of his arms come forwards and he places both of his hands on the floor, just above your shoulders. You bend your legs and move your hips to match, not letting him leave you, not even a centimetre. "S-Stop me if I hurt you, p-please" he begs, half whimpering the words out. You nod so that he can see, and he nods back.
He slowly, really slowly, starts to pull himself out from you, you can feel all of him, it's intoxicating. "S-Shit-t" he mutters under his breath, moving his intact arm back to pull your shirt up. His mouth is around your nipple before you can process anything, and he's thrusting back inside you in the same motion. Squirming and writhing, you force your own fist into your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. So overcome with pleasure, you felt like your senses were on fire. He pulls back out from you, further this time, and back in, with way more force. You are certain you are going to have hard time explaining the bite marks all over your hands after this. He starts sucking harder and harder on your nipple, while pulling at the other, admittedly more gently, with his other hand. Nobody had ever fucked you like this.
He's starting to build up a rhythm of pressing into you now, still reserved. Slow and gentle, but unmistakeably electrifying. Your legs lock around him, crossed across his back, wrapped tightly around his hips. You feel him tensing inside you when you do, his muffled moans still unmistakeably vocal. He breaks for air, and you seize your chance. You grab him by the shirt, pulling him down to you, legs tightening into a vice like grip. You kiss him, open mouthed and desperate, barely giving him that second to breathe. "I-I'm not going t-to be able" he manages when you let him breathe between kissing. "S-Stop" he pants, and his fingers curl into fists at your side "I-If you keep d-doing that to m-me". You could feel just how hot his face was from here, his lips were almost trembling from the strain. You flash him a grin before you start bucking your hips against him, forcing him in and out, deeper and deeper, faster and faster. Keeping one hand gripped on his shirt, You can see your knuckles turning white from the force, you use the other hand to push your thumb directly into his mouth. Fingers underneath his chin, his eyes close and his lips press around you, his moaning getting louder and louder the faster you thrust your hips, taking his full length each time. You start moving your thumb in and out of his beautiful lips, matching pace with taking his cock over and over and over. It's way more than he can take and he grips your hips with both hands. violently forcing his way into you, with such speed and intensity that it was clear he had lost all sense of being collected. It's all he can think about, his mind flooded with endorphins. Reduced to his base desires, he's so fucking attractive when he's like this. He pulls his mouth away from you just at the moment of climax so you can hear just how gorgeously loud and desperate his moans were as he flooded you with cum.
You feel every single throb as he leans up, keeping his vice like grip on your hips, cumming over and over and over again. You think at this stage you had both lost count. You can see how flushed his cheeks are, mouth hung open for air. He eventually loosens his grip ever so slightly, enough to move his hand around to have his four fingers on your lower back, and thumbs tucked neatly over the top of your hips. Not letting you move a single inch out of him. He loudly moans, eyelids fluttering with every one as he rides it out. "A-Are you okay?" He asks as his first audible words "I'm okay, I promise babe" You soothe him, touching your hands over his arms, as it was about all you could reach. His breathing is starting to settle into a more steady pace now. "Are you okay? What do you need?" You ask him softly, while still reeling from the best fuck of your life.
"A-Are y-you ok-kay?" He asks again shakily, his arms seeming to relax just the tiniest bit from being locked into position. "I'm okay, I'm okay" you reassure, rubbing along his arms with your fingers "I didn't h-hurt you did I?" he asks and you can see that he's starting to cry from the very corners of his eyes. "Please tell me I didn't hurt you" he starts repeating over and over. You try repeating to him that you are okay but he seems to be completely disassociated. "BUCKY!" you shout eventually, desperately reaching up to grab his shirt. "I'm okay, I am O-KAY" You clarify. You lock eyes with him and nod. "It is okay" you clarify and he quietens, before slowly. Gently, relaxes his grip on you and slips himself from you. But he remains kneeling. You manage to push yourself out enough to pull around to kneel in front of him. He's slumped and frozen. "Bucky, talk to me" you ask, taking his limp hand. "I-I didn't hurt you?" he questions, meeting your gaze. "Baby no, of course you didn't. Are you hurt? Are you alright? I'm worried" you say, rubbing your other hand along the inside of the arm you were holding. You dare not touch his metal arm right now. "You are okay?" he asks again and you nod with a smile. Before he reaches out and bear hugs you. Pulling you into him "I didn't hurt you" he clarifies, over and over and over again. Rocking you both back and forth. "Bucky, are you alright, I really need you to talk to me" you say, happy for the hug but obviously, more than a little concerned. He pulls your legs up so that you are sat in his lap as he cuddles you closely. "I lost control, and didn't hurt someone" he says while covering the top of your head in kisses. "I told you, I trust you. You are so much stronger than you know" you say with a smile, leaning into his cuddle. He rocks you back and forth for so long, seemingly never wanting to move. Holding you close, Nuzzling into your cheeks, kissing you over and over again with a huge grin. "I hate to ruin the moment but, I uh" You begin. "I might be leaking over your leg" You admit sheepishly. "OH!" He exclaims and gently sets you down on the carpet, "I'm so sorry honey" he flusters over his words. "Just, give me like two minutes to clean up and I'll be back okay?" You ask and he nods "Of course!".
You exit the room, keeping your eyes on him for as long as possible. You eventually turn to walk into the bathroom, You have to trust that he will be okay. Which is tough for someone who overthinks, so you lean against the back of the closed bathroom door for a second and take a deep breath. You finish attending to yourself, deciding to wash your face while you were in the bathroom, moving the flannel away, you can see your reflection in the mirror. "Are you okay?" You whisper to your reflection. You exhale and close your eyes. You repeat to yourself "Are you okay?" and you pause for a moment. You replay what just happened in your mind, and you can feel your cheeks pulling up into a smile. "Yes" you eventually answer. You felt it too, You always need to question your feelings and actions, to try to unveil some hidden ploy or, ask yourself if you wanted things for the right reasons. Bucky, felt right, what you did felt right, you felt safe. But, physical intimacy, trust at this highest level, It's a very overwhelming experience. Even when it feels right? It can be a reminder of when it wasn't, of the reasons why you have to question every action. You decided to sit down on the cold tiled floor for a second and just, be. You take in the tiny cramped space, The bath mat with a few bald patches near the edge, the towel holder with only half the screws still holding it in place. The background buzzing sound of the light above you. You are here in this moment and this place, this is your time to be human and vulnerable, alone.
You do this, until, well you get bored frankly. You realise Bucky is likely worried about you taking so long, so you open the bathroom door with haste and crash directly into his torso. "Whoah there!" He exclaims and he takes a step back from you barrelling into him at speed. He holds you by the shoulders "Are you okay?" he asks, more than a little taken aback. "S-Sorry! I didn't know you would be right outside" you explain, getting your bearings, you genuinely weren't paying attention to your surroundings. "Ah yes, sorry, I just wanted to check you we're alright, but I felt strange knocking on the door, so I was out here deciding what to do" he explained with a smile. "I'm-" you start, you were going to say okay but you stop yourself. "I'm a little bit overwhelmed if im honest and I feel like, It's making me come across as really cold and unhappy, when I am actually very happy" You do your best to explain. "Well, I'm glad to hear you are happy at least" he says, pushing a strand of hair out the way of your eyes. "But what can I do to help?" he offers next. "I'd like to talk about what happened, just now, between us, but I want to sit in the bathroom with you to do it". He blinks at you "What exactly do you want in" he peeks around you to look into the bathroom and then back to you concerned "there...." he trails off. "Nothing nefarious, It's just a smaller room with less distractions, I feel more collected in there" you say and take his hand to pull him inside. "This is a new one for me but, whatever works for you" he adds.
You slide open the door to the walk in shower and sit down inside. You have your knees up and tucked under your chin, arms wrapped around your calves, pulling your legs in. You look up at him to join you, and he does, with only a degree of hesitation. "Close it please" you ask in a quiet voice and, Bucky gently pulls the door of the shower closed. "Tell me your thoughts" Bucky says quietly, looking at the glass in front of him, shuffling to get comfortable. You let out a exhausted sigh "I just had an amazing time. A great experience, I felt safe and happy...so why do I feel so glum and heavy?" You ask, also staring straight forwards. Both of your voices were quiet and soft and the room gently echoed the words back to you. "How do you feel glum and heavy, don't focus on the why" Bucky asked. "Good things, make me wonder why, times ever had to be bad. It reminds me that they were not necessary. That those, things, didn't need to happen." You pull your knees in closer to you "I hate that even the good moments can be tainted by my past. It's like, I never left."
Bucky nods, letting you speak. "I feel like, my whole world has been restructured to be about those experiences, everything that ever happens to me, happens through the lens of what's happened. If something good happens? Well why was it ever bad before. If something bad happens? Then it's just like before. It feels like my ability to experience the world, unbiased and with just my own eyes, is gone. Everything I will ever do, will be linked to the things that happened to me, everything, it's not enough for bad people to ruin my life at the exact moment that they hurt me. That they tore away my agency and humanity then, but having it constantly change my entire outlook to feel like that, It's like I'm being tortured forever."
You found yourself staring into the floor as you spoke, the words tumbling out of you, you felt so, utterly wounded when you spoke like that. You catch yourself on the last line however and realise, You maybe shouldn't have said that. You worry whether apologising would make things even more awkward, but you decide, to do it anyway. "No, not like that, I'm...I'm sorry Bucky I probably sound insensitive". You turn and see he's been staring at you this whole time, you feel yourself gulp and your mind whirls with the feeling that you have royally just put your foot in it. "Can I ask.." he starts and you jump in immediately with "yes" and he pauses before replying "but you don't even know what it is yet?". You look at him with eyes that are less blank than before, way more full of warmth and tell him "But It's yes either way, you can ask me anything. I'm sorry for blabbing, It just, helps me sometimes to talk about it and I was very worried you would think I was..unhappy, with, you".
He restarts "Can I ask, Did having sex with me bring up memories of being sexually assaulted" he asked and you respond truthfully. "No, and I mean that, It really only hit me once I was alone, and it was much more about feeling angry that, those memories exist and are trying to taint the now when I'm finally free of that". "Can I be honest?" he asks. You meet his gaze and nod "It did for me" he says solemnly. He seems to realise he needs to clarify "Not, that, I'm in any way saying I wasn't happy with what we were doing". He cant stand to meet your eyes any longer. "I feel like I had to fight through flashes, of my hands, my hands being in the same places that they were. It's like my brain overlayed them inside my mind. It felt like a static shock when it did, it felt like it physically hurt". He pushes his hands underneath the back of his knees as he spoke. "When, they can control your actions, your entire body and you are forced to watch yourself. Locked inside a prison cell of your own mind. My eyes, being the windows to my soul, of a vessel I could not stop. Sometimes, I can't look at my hands. I can't bear to think of what and who they've touched and hurt" He turns his gaze all the way away from you now "This was the first time, I'd gotten to choose what I wanted, with my hands looking like this." "Oh Bucky..." You start and he turns his head back to be facing forwards. "But I knew it was my choice this time, I was doing what I wanted and it felt good. But when I felt like I lost control of myself like that? I couldn't take it. I felt convinced I would hurt you". You nod before responding "I know I already said it but, I want you to know you haven't physically hurt me at all, or upset me emotionally with your actions, and I would not lie to you". "I know that." Bucky responded flatly "I'm just having a hard time accepting that, I could lose control and not hurt someone, It makes me worry if I always could, if my actions were my fault for not trying hard enough. Or if there's a part of me that wanted those things to happen. I don't know what to do about that, if I can stop now? Don't I owe it to people to have stopped then too? It's not fair".
You allow the silence to hang in the air for a moment. It seemed like the words needed time to really settle for you both, baring ones soul means as much about the other listening, as it means listening to yourself. "We can't change our past. Only our future." You say into the still air. "Wishing things could have been different, only wastes the time we have now to make it be different. We owe it to our past selves, to be the person they couldn't be. Because without them? We could not be who we are now. Looking back and asking, why couldn't I do this back then? Well the only reason you can right now, is because of everything you did back then, and since, to get to here. We are not one decision, we are every decision and every day that we've decided to be better and to make the world better, because of when it wasn't for us." You reach out and take his hand very softly, "We are who we are now, because of the people we've been before. Not in spite of it. I'm very proud of the person you've become, and I want you to tell me if you don't want to do that again. I want you to feel safe enough to tell me the truth, regardless of whether you enjoyed it".
"I don't want to be someone, who can't ever be intimate again, because I wasn't given a choice. I want the opportunity to choose. I don't want that taken away from me" Bucky answers solemnly "You we're right though" he added and you answer "About what?" Bucky points to the shower head above you "Talking in here is less overwhelming". He pulls his arms out from behind his knees and turns his body to face towards you "I want to be able to do everything, I want to be able to be more of the man I was before all of this" You nod, "But, what do you need, not what you want" you question. "I think we both need to understand each other, that afterwards we might" he stops himself, interlocking his fingers together "We might feel like this for a bit. Knowing to expect it might make it easier to handle these feelings, I hope..." he trails off. "I agree, I think me knowing, that you understand that, I might have complex feeling afterwards. Makes them feel less complex" you explain, turning your body around to also be facing him. You were feeling more and more at ease the more you talked. "Maybe one day, for us both, It will be less complex" Bucky matches your gaze as he speaks "I look forward to finding out" you offer with a smile.
"Would you like a hug?" Bucky asks you, matching your smile, you nod and crawl on into his arms, he shuffles back to he's flat against the wall and holding you closely. "Our past, is not today" he says with a kiss on the top of your head "That's profound" you reply while pulling one of his hands closer to your chest "I can't take credit," Bucky begins "It's one of my therapist asked me to try out, I scoffed at first but, maybe she's not totally full of crap". "Be careful not to tell her that, she might die of shock" you say while giggling "Good point, I can't be going breaking rule number two around her" he smiles down at you in his arms.
You both sit together on the floor of the shower cuddling, for such a while that the glass starts to fog up from your breath. You lean over Bucky's leg and draw a little love heart on the glass with your finger. He smiles at you and adds your initials and the plus between them into the centre of the heart. "We used to see these on trees all the time growing up, I always wondered who I'd make mine with" He says while taking your hand. "Thank You for talking to me Bucky, I feel much better" you say and let your shoulders drop. "I'm kind of emotionally drained now though". Bucky seems to think for a moment. "Do you think you have it in you to be vulnerable again today, or would you rather I carry you to bed?" he asks.
You think for a moment "What do you mean by vulnerable?" You ask and he smiles at you, pulling his shirt above and over his head. You can for the first time, see what he looks like and he's so stunning, your breath catches in your throat. His dog tags clink together as he moves and you can for the first time see where his metal am and flesh connect. He pulls open the shower door just enough to throw his shirt outside into the bathroom and then shuts it again. "Take a shower with me?" he asks with a smile "I can do that" you confirm and lean up to kiss him on the lips. His hands reach down your back to pull your shirt over your head. Without opening the shower door, he simply launches it over the top, with way too much ease, that makes you convinced he's just showing off.
He takes your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours. "Can we pause for a second, I think I got a little over confident there" you smile at him "Of course, I can match whatever pace you set". He's still with his back against the shower wall and you are knelt in front of him, while you are fine taking a breather you are also feeling Goosebumps along your arms from the cold air hitting your exposed skin. He closes his eyes slowly and takes a breath. "This must seem so silly, we just had sex but here I am acting strange about getting naked with you" he says with his eyes still firmly shut. "Being vulnerable isn't easy, It's okay" you respond with a smile that, he cant see, but you hope he can sense. "Can I set a boundary?" he asks, eyes still shut, but you can tell he's looking in your direction, ears attuned to you. "You never need permission for that, what is it?" You ask softly. "I don't want you to, touch, it" he says while opening his eyes and looking down at his metal arm, which he raises. "Or, where it meets, me, the real me I mean". "I don't have to touch you at all if you don't want" you respond and he shakes his head "No, anywhere, that's me, is okay, I'm just not okay with you touching, a part of me that was forced upon me, right now." "Of course, I don't want you to touch my feet, I'm ticklish" you add with a laugh and he gives you a half smile. "No feet touching, got it, let's keep those firmly on the ground" he stands up, pulls his pants down and throws them over the shower door. Before you could even take in him being fully naked he steps towards you and hugs you. He holds you close, one hand at the back of your head, the other across your back. You hug him around his waist, locking your fingers together.
You go to pull away and he pulls you in tighter "No, not yet" and he kisses the top of your head, once, twice and three times. After a minute you start to look around the room wondering if he's ever going to let go. "Bucky, are we going to turn the shower on now?" you ask, trying to reach behind you for the taps and failing. "No, I'm not done enjoying this" he mumbles to you and you have to agree, finally having this skin on skin contact is oddly the most intimate you feel like you've been all day. You can feel his heart beating in his chest, how his chest rises and falls with his breathing, It makes you feel all tingly. "We should probably get clean though, this was your idea" you say again and he simply grumbles at you. You roll your eyes "Come on, you can cuddle me after" you offer and he grumbles again, before sighing and relenting. He reaches up and over you and pulls the taps. You SHRIEK as the cold water hits the top of your head immediately and he picks you up under your elbows and pulls you clean out the way of the water. "You gotta let it warm up first oh my GOD" you exclaim shivering. "Shit, sorry!" he says and pulls you into his warm chest. You are tiptoeing around where you are touching and leaning against, making sure not to touch metal.
"I didn't know" he says apologetically and swaps places with you in the shower. "W-What" you start between shivers "A lot of my nerves are fried, sometimes I genuinely can't feel temperature, I didn't realise it started cold, Sorry about that my love" he rubs along your arm trying to warm you up. "Y-Yeah it's fucking freezing!" You protest. "How is it now?" He asks, and stands to the side of the shower so you can reach out a hand to touch the water. "See now it's perfect" you say, turning your hand over in the stream. "After you" he puts out a arm to let you shimmy past him to stand under the water. You feel the warm water hit your skin and its like your whole body unlocks, you instantly relax and feel so much more soothed. You grab his hand and pull him into the water stream with you. "Can you feel it now?" you ask him "I know that it's wet" he offers and you nod. "If it's the right temperature for you, then that's what matters" he says with a smile. You grab the shampoo from the shelf behind you, squeezing some out into your hand, you then reach your arms up towards him and start lathering it into his hair. You can't resist pulling yourself up to kiss him in this embrace with the water running down both of your bodies. What you weren't ready for was him kissing you open mouthed and tongue first, his metal arm bracing himself against the back wall of the shower, the other holding you by your lower back. You react by gripping into his hair, fingers clenching in reaction as you feel your whole body tensing in response to his kiss. This seems to make him push even further into you, pushing in more passion to the kiss. You can't deny that the warm water and being naked together certainly felt intimate, skin against skin, moving and sliding against each other with ease. It was difficult to keep your thoughts on track. You break away breathlessly "Seems we can't keep our hands off each other today" you say with a fully flushed face, embarrassed by how eager you've been acting.
He looks down and smiles, with a shrug he responds "I'm not complaining, so long as we actually get clean today" and he grabs the same bottle of shampoo. He starts running it through your hair, much more regimented, he does section by section and pulls the lotion through, he's being so dedicated to getting all of it and doing such a good job. You are smiling and watching him as he concentrates. "Can I ask a question?" you start and he replies quickly "Sure, because I've forgotten who's turn it is, or what number we are up too". You grin and ask "Have you done this before?" He looks you in the eyes quickly, before back down to the task at hand "No, I've never showered with a partner before, but I have shampoo'd my sisters hair before, admittedly a lifetime ago so I could be rusty" "Well I think you are doing a great job" as he finishes up with his lathering you add "Maybe we should body wash ourselves, might be a little less overwhelming" he nods in response and passes you the bottle. You can't help but feel a little self conscious as he's watching you, so you offer "It's your turn now". "U-Uh" he stutters, feeling like he's instead being put on the spot. "Are you upset we stopped watching the movie?" he manages eventually "No, although I would still like to finish watching it with you today, Maybe with some take out later?" you offer with a smile and pass him the bottle and starting to rinse yourself under the water. "I'd like that a lot actually, But it's your turn now" but instead you had no words, having stepped back you were able to take him all in and as he's rubbing over his entire body with soapy suds everywhere your mind just draws a blank. Can you call it being hot under the collar if you are naked? you wonder to yourself. "See, It's tough when your put on the spot" he jokes "N-No it's not that" you manage to get out, suddenly concerned he places a hand on your arm "Are you okay?" he asks "Oh I'm fine!" you convince him, and continue "It's just that you are so handsome" you manage while swallowing and blushing. He grins and you can see he's fully charmed by you, it was one of the most genuine smiles you had seen from him and it's like the wounds of time were stripped back for a moment, and you saw a gentle young man smiling back at you. He walks up close to you, bodies touching, he places one hand around your waist and holds your hand with the other. He carefully places his leg between yours, you realise he's pulled you into a pose to dance. You wonder how on earth this is going to work in a shower and start to doubt your feeble balance skills. He simply sways with you however, grinning from ear to ear the whole time. His eyes are closed, as if hearing a song inside his mind, You had yet to see him this content and it warmed your heart.
"What are you thinking about?" you ask "Hmmm" he starts, but then laughs "Honestly? Something way too raunchy for how sweet you are being right now, Sorry". "Try me" you say with a sly grin, meeting his gaze, it seems all of your soap suds have been perfectly rinsed away now, so it's just showering for the sensation, or because neither of you wanted to leave. "I don't want to ruin" and he pulls you in tighter "This, because this is lovely".
"Why, don't want to pull me around like that a little more?" you taunt with a raised eyebrow "Oh now you are actually the most devious aren't you?" he says with a smile and picks you up by the waist to kiss you, with one arm, effortlessly of course. "We're never going to get back to what's his face if you keep acting like this" and you throw him a quizzical expression "Who?" you ask genuinely "The meesa-so-silly alien guy" Bucky offers, donning the silly voice to match as well. "OH! You mean Jar Jar Binks? He becomes a Senator you know" Bucky laughs heartily "I guess anything is possible!" He sets you down onto your feet again "Yeah we can't get back to Mr Jar-Jar if were just in this shower all day". "He wouldn't mind" you offer "He has his own girlfriend anyway" you say while pulling your hair back and flicking the water off the back of your head. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that" he stated coldly. "Now you tell me what you are thinking" he asks with a devious grin of his own.
"That's not fair, I asked about what you were thinking first, the game has rules!" You state incredulously, standing in the shower with Bucky, water still thankfully warm. "You are such a pain sometimes you know" Bucky joked "Okay fine, but, you have to promise me, to tell me what you would like, or feel able to do, okay? with no pressure" You draw a little heart on the centre of his chest with your finger, making extra sure not to touch the meeting point of his metal arm "Promises!" you say delightedly. "Well," he puts his hand underneath your chin and pulls you to look up at him "I'm thinking about kissing you again". "I'm very much okay with that" you grin and give him a quick peck on the lips "Go on" you encourage. "I'm maybe thinking about how much I'd love to slip inside you, while I'm kissing you" he continues, pressing a firm kiss to your lips, his voice was husky and his body kept pressing closer and closer into yours as you spoke. "About, how much I enjoyed earlier" he starts to lean down so that his head is next to yours, so that he's able to whisper in your ear "I'm thinking about how much I want to leave you breathless and panting" he reaches over and grabs the lobe of your ear between his teeth and he tugs playfully. "About how much I want to hear you beg for me, by name, and fill you full of cum" he's pulled you in so tight to his body, his grip is vice like and every nerve ending feels like it's just been electrified by his words.
"I'm thinking about how much I want you to bite and scratch me when you get overwhelmed and your eyes roll back into your head" You could feel his breath against your ear, his hands gripping into your flesh, you were so close and so tight it was almost hard to breathe in his embrace. He pulls away from you in a flash, returning to a completely relaxed position and smiles at you "If that's okay of course," his knowing grin, a smirk, because he already knew you were down so bad. Your eyes were wide and mouth hanging open, It's like your body had shut down, "You are such a suave bitch you know that?" you manage. He roars with laughter in response "Suave Bitch, that's going to be my new name now haha!"
"I-in all seriousness though" you manage out and he relaxes his death grip on you, so that you can catch your breath more easily. "I fully consent, to being manhandled by you, to having your way with me, and I'd very much like all of that. But we should probably do that before we run out of hot water" you say, motioning with your head up to the shower. "Good point" he relents, before smiling at you, eyes locked, tongue caught between his teeth. Like he's studying you, deciding what to do next and where to start. "Don't be gentle with me" he commands, before pushing a kiss onto your lips. Hands snaking around the back of your head to hold your lips to his. He's pushing your mouth open and forcing his way inside. You can hear him softly moaning when he does, You make a mental note to teach him about what 'oral fixation' means later on, as he is down bad with it.
You grip onto his original arm, digging your nails into his biceps, you feel a shiver run down his body in response, but he does not pull away or stop. It feels good to channel some of your tension out. and he is encouraging you after all. With force and urgency he walks you back, so that your torso is outside of the water. He hitches up your leg with his metal arm and he takes all of your weight with it, allowing your other leg to basically dangle in the air. You can feel him starting to gently grind against you while he's kissing you, you weren't even sure if it was intentional or if it was just being so overcome and needing to rub his cock against you already. You we're taking shorter and shorter breaths, he seemed fully intent to not release you from this kiss at all, he wanted to be locked in. He leans you back, just enough, to push his dick into you, while having the showers water stream directly on top, Making him sliding in so deliciously easy that, you kept his wish, feeling your eyes rolling into the back of your head, you grip his shoulder, running your nails across his back. Pulling at his skin, leaving red claw marks and you feel his dick throbbing with anticipation as he pushes deeper and deeper inside. If his tongue wasn't stuck all the way down your throat you are sure you would of screamed, perhaps stifling you like this was his plan and he was more concerned about the neighbours, you just struggled to have any cohesive thoughts in your current state.
He shocks you this time, before he had been slow and gentle and ramped up. This time? He was unleashed, there was no build up, he was already pounding into you immediately. He was locked all the way around you, holding your body next to his like you were magnetised. His lips we're no longer leaving yours, he had a hold of the back of your head and he was refusing to give you an inch. You lose count of how many times he's thrust into you, it was so powerful and so fast that you felt your own mind turning into jelly as he bombarded you. Somehow stretching you out, even after fucking so recently. He was everything you had hoped for and more. You can feel your body start to shake as he pounds more and more into you, there's no way you will be able to walk out of here once he's had his way with you. He was moaning louder and louder as he pushed his tongue into you, with every single thrust you could hear him reacting to his cock being hilt deep inside you. You fully go limp in his arms at this point, but this does not change his rhythm and verocity. You move your arms to be linked around the back of his neck and he uses this to lower you down further, to increase the the angle between you. He pushes so much might into that first thrust after setting you down further that you swear, You could have crushed him, you clamp onto him inside you, willing him to cum, wanting and needing him to never pull out. He finally pulls his lips away from you, and he gasps, you are practically hyperventilating and seeing stars. "D-don't you d-dare pull out" you half beg, half growl at him, looking into his eyes as your chests heave. "I wont" he promises breathlessly. "I c-can't. You feel t-too good".
"Holy fuck, how am I-I ever meant t-to stop" he manages through full body convulsions and shakes, he was so vocal and needy and desperate for you, you couldn't keep it together. You lock your legs around his waist, with all the strength you can manage. "B-Bucky, I want to try something, b-but it might be t-too much" you manage to force out between trembling lips and moans. He looks up at you "what do you want?" he asks seriously, slowing his pace just for a moment. You take his intact hand and place it on the other side of your hips "L-let the rest of me hang towards the floor, just h-hold me by here" you instruct, watching your hands shake while you explain. He nods and stops so that you can let yourself hang down slowly. He soon picks up the pace again, now more free than ever to just move you wherever he wants. you unlock your legs from behind him, trusting that he can support you completely by just holding your hips. Which allows him to pull you onto his dick over and over and over unheeded. He can really show his full length doing this while you feel the blood rushing to your head, it was like you were in a dream, everything felt kind of hazy, like you were so high on sexual ecstasy that you lost all sense of reality.
He seemed to realise that you were starting to get light headed, so he pulls you off his cock. You protest and see it utterly dripping and throbbing above you, looking delicious and sending you even more into a horned craze. He then flips you around, and you are completely taken aback as you feel your last remaining brain cells rattle around. Now with your back facing towards his torso, and your face looking down at the bathroom floor, he pushes himself back inside you, in one, full motion, utterly smashing himself against you, skin smacking from the impact and you can't help yourself any more. "Bucky please, god please, Bucky please" you half-scream for him, the words no longer trembling out of your mouth. Not a command, no part of you feels commanding right now, you are at his mercy and so desperate, you would do just about anything. You can't see it, but you know he's grinning. He reaches down with one arm and grabs you by your hair, twisting his hand to get a better grip on you, you moan uncontrollably as he does. His other arm pulls itself along your stomach, finger by finger, so he's got a good grip on all of you before starting to pummel you again. "Please, please, please" you repeat as his balls slap against your clit over and over and over again. You can still feel the water rushing down on you, pattering onto your back, amplifying the sound of him plapping against you, over and over. You reach your hands up, so that you can place your palms against the tiled wall of the shower and use it to push yourself back onto him, forcing him in deeper "Now, now, more, more, more" you demand of him, feeling yourself slip into a trance like state. "What's that? I can't hear you?"
He taunts and you growl back, teeth bared as you give into pure urges, you cannot comprehend how good this feels, It's like your body was destined for this. "I'm not sure if you really want this" he toys with you, slowing down his pace, pulling you out further from him and rubbing himself against your ceiling. "B-Bucky, please, I need it" you mumble and beg from him. "Speak up sweetheart" he beckons and pulls on your hair, making you arch your back further "Be a good slut and scream my name". Which sends you right over the edge. You we're scratching at the tiling and screaming for him over, and over, and over again. Each time you did he got faster and hilted you deeper and harder. Everybody in the entire city could of heard how much of a desperate whore you were, let alone the building. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as he starts to throb mercilessly inside of you. "Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!" You shout louder and louder and you can hear him start to get louder and louder to match. "Fuck, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, Do NOT STOP!" you scream as you can feel him getting harder and harder inside of you, he was panting and pulling your hair tighter and tighter with every thrust. "B-beg for me" he demands, barely holding it together to be the one teasing you. "Prove to me how much o-of a cock whore you are and b-beg for me to breed you" he shouts through gritted teeth, followed by quieter "f-fuck, f-fuck, o-oh gods" said under his breath. "P-Please, B-bucky, d-don't stop until you've knocked me up, don't stop, d-don't stop, I n-need it, I n-need you n-n-now" You manage through fluttering eyelashes and your clit twitching over, and over, and over again.
"O-Oh holy f-fuck" he shouts out as he finally, releases inside you. He pulls down on your hair so that you are fully arched now, your legs twitching uselessly in the air as he pumps you full of load after load. "b-breed b-b-breed, f-f-f-uck" you can hear him whimpering under his breath as the waves roll over him, he's shaking and struggling to keep his footing. He lets go of your hair and you slump forwards, but you catch yourself with your hands against the wall. He pushes you forwards so you have a strong grip against the tiling. "Y-you are so f-fucking good" he manages between pants, totally out of breath. "K-keep being a good girl for me, and d-dont move okay?" he asks and you nod in response. He grips you by the shoulder, moving his other hand from holding you up by your stomach, to sliding across your throbbing clit, cock still hilted inside you, cum leaking out from just how much he had pushed into you. He's holding you tightly by the shoulder while he start's rubbing his fingers against your clit, over and over and over. You start to scream even louder and he changes his hand from being on your shoulder, to covering your mouth, stifling the unholy noises you were making. "shhhhh" he soothes as he speeds up, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. "Now be a g-good girl and cum with my cock still inside you" he said while pushing himself against you, making you feel his cock hilted inside, spreading you open. He could feel how much you insides were convulsing and trembling and just how close you were. Just when he feels you start to ramp up the volume of screaming, he starts thrusting in and out of you again, fucking you into a orgasm. "That's it baby, you've earned this, Good girl" he has to shout at you, over the intense amount of noise you were making as you cum all over his fingers and cock. Barely able to see over your eyelids fluttering closed. hands balled into fists, keeping you from slipping down the wall.
You cross over your knees, legs still dangling in the air, and rub the top of your foot, over the back of your calf, pulling yourself tighter around him inside of you, savouring every last moment. Bucky reaches over you, and finally turns down the shower, not fully off, but decreases the pressure significantly. You dread to think what the bill is going to be, but you don't at all care, you would wait lifetimes to experience that again. He finally releases his hand from around your mouth when he hears your moans turn to quiet whimpers and panting, "You ready for me to pull out?" he asks, placing both hands on your hips "n-no" you manage pathetically "To be fair, I wouldn't have expected any other answer" he chastises jokingly. He slowly pulls you forwards and allows your feet to settle back down onto the damp ground. You stagger for a second, and he takes you by the arm to stop you from falling, It feels like your brain is full of static. You both start to breathe in tandem, slowing down your gasping. Both still reeling from an intense high. "Now I have to get clean all over again" you pout up at him "You act like it wasn't worth it" he says with a sly grin "I never said that" and he hands you the body lotion. "We're you always like this?" You find yourself asking while you clean your body again, and he throws you a confused expression "What do you mean? I also thought it was my turn" he starts to lather up your back with soap suds, seeming to always want to be close with you. "I feel embarrassed to ask" you admit, face flushed and turned into the shower so you can avoid his gaze. "Help an old man out here" he pushes, you can hear the grin in his voice, he loves seeing you flustered. "Okay, did you always have this much uh...." you trail off, moving your open hands around in circular motions, miming finding the right words "...stamina?" you eventually come up with.
"Yes and no" he answers truthfully "And that's not just me defending my ego here". You laugh at that answer, it's amazing how much more relaxed you both are since this morning. "The serum makes me stronger, so that is reflected. I couldn't have held you with one hand back then. Probably with two though. I don't know if I would have been as uh...forceful?" he tries "But in terms of lasting? I don't know, I don't feel like that's a particular strength I posses at the moment anyway, But maybe that's down to you being so perfect" and he leans down to kiss you on the cheek. "Oh okay" you answer, truthfully you were too awkward to ask your most burning question but this one still intrigued you. Finally clean however, you finally turn off the shower. Bucky slides open the shower door and reaches out to grab you two towels. "I guess I have to ask you two questions now" he says while helping you get dry first. "They can wait if you prefer" you offer him and he interjects "No no, I play fair".
"What did you really want to ask me?"
"u-uh" you manage to stammer out, wrapping the towel around you. He slides open the shower door and steps out into the bathroom, his towel is just wrapped around his waist and you can see the flickers of steam rising from his chest as his body hits the cool air. You swallow nervously and follow him out of the shower cubicle. "What do you mean?" You ask, knowing fully and totally, exactly what that man meant. "You asked about, my, stamina? I get the feeling that wasn't what you were embarrassed to ask about, or perhaps, what was less embarrassing to ask about" he grins at you being all flustered and you instead push past him to open the bathroom door and step into the hallway. The far colder air of the hallway hits you and you retreat back inside "n-nope it's freezing out there" you say through chattering teeth.
"That means your locked in here with me and can answer my question" he crosses his arms and stands in front of the closed door now. "I didn't lie, I was embarrassed to ask you that" You were just not telling the whole truth you complete inside your own mind. "I can do this all day" Bucky remarked and you croak out a unexpected laugh "That's not your line!"
"Why are you being so coy with me, I'm not going to give up" he's fully staring at you, trapped and caged, you can feel the blushing rising in your cheeks. You cross your arms "You really want to know?" "I do, in fact, that's why I'm asking". Rolling your eyes, you sigh deeply. "Fine, if you are determined to be so nosey, I know the serum has, well other effects. I know it made Steve the size of a house, taller and more muscular" Bucky grinned at you, You think he has some inkling of what's coming next "Go on" he presses. "I hate you" you hiss at him, feeling more and more embarrassed the longer this goes on, but still dancing around the question. "No you don't" he chimes back at you, he's right of course but, he's still acting like a prick. "Fine, Did the serum make your cock bigger?" you angrily push out, looking away from him as your cheeks burn so so brightly, your arms crossed, foot tapping and looking anywhere but at him. He laughs lightly at first and then into a full belly laugh, he has to use the doorway for support "Really?" he asks you between wheezing. "If your going to be like that about it I don't want to know" you pout looking down at the floor, refusing to acknowledge just how much he was enjoying this. He collects himself before continueing "No, I didn't have the same serum as Steve and it's not exactly a question I ever asked him either. But my serum didn't affect my size or stature, I was always like this." He takes a step towards you and you make even more efforts to look away from him as he did "Well fine then, I didn't care anyway" you mutter grumpily. "Oh I think you did" he starts and places both hands on the side of your arms "I mean I am still flattered that you think all of this was a magical super penis" he can barely get the ending out between uncontrolled guffaws. "Alright you've had your fun, You don't need to rub it in, I was just curios" you are looking down at his feet on the floor, refusing to encourage him. "No really, I am flattered" he continues and kisses you on the top of the head. "Thank You for asking me, can you forgive me for pressing now? But that was a bit funny" he's trying to meet your gaze by ducking down to your height "Well It's your turn again," you meet his gaze, still pouting grumpily. "I guess I owe you one" he says and gives you a quick peck on the lips.
"Fine then, I've had my fun now. I know you said to order take out in, but, would you be okay with us collecting? I'd like to take you on a drive" he says with a grin "On your bike?" you ask, expression softening as he relents "Yes, A night drive I mean, it's more peaceful" he pulls your arms down from being crossed and pulls you in for a hug, head resting on top of yours. "We can do that, but the deal is we have to order Chinese food" you bargain "Your wish is my command". "Then I also wish to be carried to bed" you order with a grin. He pulls away from you and matches your grin, too much grinning, you panic. He leans down and picks you up by the back of your legs, fireman lifting you over one shoulder "HEY!" you shout and he ignores you, carrying you out of the bathroom "This isn't what I meant!" you try to look behind you to direct your anger towards him, but he's simply laughing at you the whole time.
He gently kicks open the door to the bedroom and throws you down on the bed, You take a moment to collect yourself before continuing to lecture "That's not what I meant and you know it James!" He throws you a look when calling him by his actual name. "So much for being a good girl, and asking to be manhandled. You get grumpy when I do" he laughs at you, leaning against the door frame. "Don't be a bitch" you shoot him an angry glance as you get up and start rifling through drawers to find clothes to change into. "I will stop when you do" and he, smartly, ducks out of the way as you throw a pillow in his general direction.
"You have the bike leathers I gave you right?" he asks and you nod "Yeah, there in the wardrobe, but I need something underneath" you respond and he walks towards you, takes you by both of your hands, pulls you around to him before he replies "No you don't." "Um, Bucky, I very much do, road safety, hygiene, a million other reasons I can't think of right now" you bargain and he shakes his head. "No, I'm like, the worlds safest rider, and I think it's fun to know you are walking around naked under there, but I'm the only one who knows". "Are you asking me, or telling me?" you begin and this seems to snap him out of it "I will never tell you what to do, and you can always say no, I'm merely suggesting and letting you make your own choices. I will never take away the control you have over your own body, You know that" he's being incredibly serious right now and not breaking away from looking at you. "Can we compromise?" you offer and he nods "Whatever you want, I mean it" "Underwear only?" "That's still scandalous, I like it" and he smiles before clarifying "I really do mean it though, It's very important to me that you maintain your own agency" You nod back "I know, You too okay?" "I have no doubt, I've felt the most like myself in, quite a while today. Everything I'm doing is because I want too, and for the first time in a while? I have things I want to do".
"Well, how about you decide on what Chinese food we're getting, while I get ready?" you offer and he shakes his head "Are you genuinely trusting me with a food delivery app?" "Good point, You are useless on a mobile. Fine, you get ready and II'll find us somewhere, deal?" and he nods "deal" and lets you go, before pulling off his towel. You linger in the door way to watch him "Staring is rude" he says without turning to look at you "Guess I'm rude then". I cooked brunch, you find us dinner" he says and walks over to shut the door. You relent and walk over to the couch, phone already open to a delivery app and swiping at the deals.
You flop onto the couch, still in your towel, air drying while you swipe through food delivery apps to find the best deals, or, the most delicious looking options. It's almost a shame you know he's had Chinese before, You love getting to watch him experience something new. You also just need a moment to sit down, having sex twice in one day is a lot for someone with a non super-soldier-serum body to handle, even if he seems to have bounced back okay. You do wonder how he see's and feels the world differently to you, which you presume is fairly normal in any relationship of a partner, but feels extra prudent in this.
Just as you are zoning out, he steps back into the living room, fully dressed and ready to go, he's totally gorgeous of course. His bike leathers are head to toe in black, and extremely form fitting. His metal arm is covered and he's wearing gloves on both hands. It feels strange seeing him fully clothed and covered after being around him all day in some state of undress. "Did you find us somewhere?" he asks from the doorway, adjusting his gloves closed. "I did actually, you just need to input what you want, do you think you can handle that?" you tease, standing up from the couch and passing him your phone. "Are you always going to be like this?" he asked, taking the phone from your hand "You know how to pick 'em!" you lightly elbow him as you pass into the bedroom to get dressed. He inputs his order quickly, locks your phone and turns to watch you "Now what was that about it being rude to watch" you remind him, opening up drawers. "I thought we had agreed, that you were rude" he crosses his arms at you "Me being rude, does not mean you have to be. So much for being a gentleman. I thought you old timers were all about being prudish".
You pull on underwear, not even checking the colour, rummaging through your untidy drawers, you weren't used to having a audience to your live in chaos. "Fine, if you want respectful gentleman, then I shall wait for you by the door. I expect you to hold my hand walking out to my bike and let me hold the door for you" he smiles and turns to leave. You are taken aback for a moment, but find something closely matching and pull on the rest of your undergarments and then bike leathers. You consider for a moment, putting on clothes as well, I mean after all. Would he know? and you worry a little about chafing. You grab a white camisole top before putting on your jacket, as a slight compromise.
You exit the room and walk down the hallway to him waiting for you at the door "You look beautiful" he starts when seeing you, holding out his hand for you to take. "You don't look half bad yourself you know" you tease, blushing red. You place your hand in his, and he pulls you into him with a spin, pulling his other arm around you and popping a quick kiss on your cheek. "Are you ready for me to take you out?" he whispers into your ear. "Excited and ready" you reply, trying to lean back to steal a kiss on the lips, instead he places a finger on yours and you pout "It would be rude to steal a kiss at the start of a date." he reminds you. He then pulls open the door and beckons you to step through. "I mean, we've been together all day" you remind him and he shakes his head at you "I'm taking you on a date my love, the date starts properly now. Now make sure to grab your helmet, I want to protect that pretty little head of yours" he says, gently guiding you through the door by a hand on your lower back. "And yours?" you start and he merely throws you a eyebrow raise in response.
"Now take my hand" he asks, directly, but softly and you comply with a smile. "You have some wild assumptions for, how things were you know" he says while walking you down the stairs of your apartment, they were metal and ugly, but open air so you could feel the night time breeze. "I mean, You are always welcome to correct me you know," you offer and he shakes his head "It's not like that, I just wonder what assumptions you have about me". "I could say the same for you though, You didn't grow up in the world I did either. I'm sure you have incorrect assumptions about the time I was living in before you came into my life. I just trust that, You know who I am, and that's what matters" you smile up at him and he seems to ponder this for a moment, mulling it over in his mind. "You are as usual, right" he says as you reach the bottom of the stairs "Ooh I need a recording of you saying that!"
He throws you a eye roll and walks you through the heavy double doors down to the underground parking lot, he holds them open for you with ease of course. He walks you, hand in hand, over to his bike, only letting go of your hand to inspect his ride. "Seems she's all read to go" he says and pats down the seat, you just sort of look at him, unsure of what to do. He crosses the small gap between you, gently picks you up by your hips and sets you down on the seat "Don't worry, It's as easy as riding a bike" he starts and you manage "I have some bad news about that..." he shoots you a look "What do they teach kids these days?" You pull a disgruntled face at him before he pulls himself onto the seat in front of you. "Don't worry, just hold onto me tightly and you will be fine" you do as he asks, pulling on your helmet and then pulling your arms around his chest, leaning your head against his back. "A little tighter than that, I'm made of stronger stuff dove" he says putting his keys into the ignition. You squeeze him much tighter and he does not react to the pressure at all, you must feel like nothing to him, it was very surreal. He pushes off the kick stand and sets the bike into motion. He's just gently moving through the lot, but you can already feel the wind whipping around you both. He mounts a small speed bump and you suddenly grip into him tighter, realising just how perilous this is about to be. Squeezing your legs around the bike was difficult after the day you had been having, but you power through.
You exit through the barriers, turn off the side road you lived down, and onto the freeway. That's when Bucky, and you swear you can hear him laugh, really kicks the bike into gear and you are suddenly racing down at speed. Weaving and winding between the very few other vehicles out at this time. You wonder if he knows where he's going before stopping yourself. You need to relax, and enjoy the moment, and stop overthinking. Trust that he has this in hand, you say to yourself. You focus instead on the cold air you can feel around your neck, the night lights zooming past you, the exhilaration of moving so fast and just how beautifully in control he was. You mused that, of course he was a fantastic rider, he had been riding motorcycles for longer than most people had been alive, all makes and types. This was probably more at home for him than, anywhere else really. He was choosing to share that with you and, you felt incredibly touched. You hug into him closer, not for safety, but for comfort, and pull up your shoulders to hug him with more warmth.
The road signs all blur into one, you weren't really paying a whole lot of attention to them, but you swear you can hear him humming to himself, not just from sound but also from the vibrations in his chest. The only thing on your mind was the movie TRON: Legacy. As you zip down the roads, watching all the reflections and blur, you can't help but hear Jeff Bridges in your mind 'The Grid, A digital frontier, I tried to picture clusters of information as they moved through the computer, what did they look like? Ships? Motorcycles? We're the circuits like freeways? I kept dreaming of a world, I thought I'd never see'. You make a mental note to, perhaps not show Bucky TRON, it might be a bit information dense. You wagered it tended to be, even for people very at home with the idea of a computer, but to perhaps introduce him to some Daft Punk. You wondered what he might think of electronic music, it must be so bizarre to wrap your mind around so much, so quickly. You always try to imagine being in his shoes but it's so difficult to imagine things that don't exist.
All of a sudden you are turning off, and you feel yourself sliding into a corner, you weren't quite ready for how low to the ground you we're going to be. You feel exhilarated but also very grateful to have so much faith in your driver. He really was pitch perfect, every action felt so smooth, so graceful and so natural. He was almost dancing on the tarmac.
You gently pull to a stop in front of the shop, You can tell he's being extra careful having you on the back of his bike like that. "Can I have my phone back please?" You ask, pulling off your helmet and outstretching your hand. He pulls your phone from his pocket and hands it back "Was wondering how long it would take you to notice" "Oh I knew, I just have nothing to hide" and you step off to walk in to grab your food. He stays on the bike and watches you from outside, never once looking away, you can feel his gaze on you the entire time. The bright lights inside the building, burn your eyes after being out on the dark, So you make it quick.
Returning outside he grins when he see's you, stepping off his bike and opening up the compartment at the back "Do you ever think about getting a car instead, more storage" you offer him "Maybe, I mean, I do have someone to drive around now" and he places a quick kiss on your cheek "Are you ready to go back home?" he asks, taking your hand. "I am, That wasn't as scary as I thought being on the back of a motorcycle would be" "I told you, I'm very safe" he returns with a grin, and leads you, hand held, on to the bike, before mounting himself. "You ready to go a bit faster this time?" he asks and you interject "That wasn't fast before?!" while putting on your helmet. "Of course not, I was being gentle with you". "I thought we had established already you don't need to be" you wrap your arms around him as you talk. "Does not mean I don't still worry, gentleman date remember" and he kicks off the curb.
You are zipping through the city in a instant, You look up to see the wires and cables that ran along the streets above you, the high rises glinting in the street lights, the sky so ominous and far away. You wish you could see the stars and the constellations he told you about, you remembered them all and always looked for them when he was not with you. No matter how far away you were from each other, you always shared the same sky, the same stars. Perhaps, when he was with you, you didn't need them, like they were your own personal love letters in the sky. Instead? You had everything you wanted in the whole universe, right in your hands.
As you get out of the maze of the city scape, you feel him really start to push the bike into gear. It's significantly faster than you we're before, there's no way you would have been able to hear anything he might have been saying. But you get the feeling this is still very pedestrian for him. The roads are more open now, You can see why he likes driving at night, there's nobody there to bother you, it's just you, and the road ahead. Before you know it, you are pulling back down the road that leads to your apartment, the journey was much faster this time.
You drive into your apartments underground parking lot and he assumes the same spot again, backing in with relative ease and grace. You take off your helmet and place it on the seat as you step off. You go to open the back compartment to retrieve your food and instead he grips you by the elbow and spins you around to him. "Now" he begins, staring down at you "Did you keep to our compromise" You blink up at him, pulling a awkward smile. He pulls the top button open on the top of your leather jacket and he, agonisingly slowly, pulls down the zipper. You look around and he confirms for you "There's nobody here, I checked". "H-How do you know?" you splutter and he responds "Oh so do you do speak after all" He sighs "Side effect of the life I had, I am always aware of who's around me". You nod, "Now, I can see clothing" he says, and tips his head towards yours "That wasn't what was agreed". "I-I'm sorry, are you mad with me" you ask, despite trying really hard not too, you can feel tears welling up in your eyes and he drops everything immediatly. "Of course I'm not, Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just toying with you doll" he pulls you in close for a hug and rocks you both on the spot "I don't want you to be afraid of me, I'm sorry, Lets, walk this back shall we" and you nod into his chest. "Okay, so, first things first, Of course I'm not mad with you." he clarifies "I'm never mad with you". "I'm sorry, I'm not, afraid of you, I'm just, afraid" you blubber out, unable to stop the tears now and feeling awfully embaressed. "Today's been a lot and I'm sorry if I pushed too hard, This is a sign to back off, back up, and reasses okay?" and he kisses you on the top of your head. "Deep breaths okay, I've got you" he holds you until you stop crying and are instead just weakly sniffling "I don't know why I reacted like that I'm sorry" you admit.
"You don't need to explain anything to anyone, let alone me. I'm glad you did what you were comfortable with and I always want you to do that, you understand?" he pulls away to look you in the eyes as he says this and you nod, with a smile. "I thnk it's time we get inside, eat some delicious food, and have a soft evening okay darling? he asks and you nod, going again to open the back compartment and he stops you "No no, I don't want you lifting a finger okay?" and you again, nod. Words were tricky, but you were settling down much easier now. He retrieves the food and hands it to you, and then, with gentle ease, he picks you up in his arms and carries you out of there. You really hope he was right about nobody being around, as you felt so small and vulnerable and desperately didn't want anyone to stare. It's like you weigh nothing to him, he's moving through the stairs so effortlessly, it felt like you were floating. You snuggle deeper into his chest, feeling safe there and actually, very greatful for being carried.
He leans you down a little once you get to the front door, so you can unlock it while still being in his arms "Look at that, teamwork" he smiles down to you as he opens the door with his back and you are both inside. He kicks the door shut behind you. He carries you down into the living room and sets you down on the couch, taking the food from you and into the kitchen. "Can I help?" you ask and he responds "We already had this conversation, sit there and wait, please, let me handle this okay?" and you weakly reply "okay" and try to get comfortable.
You can hear the clatter of plates from the kitchen as Bucky rifles through your cabinets. You can hear him humming to himself again and so you ask "What song is that?" "You wouldn't know it" "Well, that's why I'm asking" you twist around to look at him. You see him put his hand into his pocket and take out his own phone, he's always squinting just the tiniest bit whenever he uses it. You can see him typing agonisingly slowly, before finding what he was looking for, and setting his phone down on the counter as "It's been a long, long time" starts playing from his phone speaker. He hums along with the song as it plays, plating up your chinese food, he brings it into the living room and sets down the plates on the coffee table. "Kiss me once. Kiss me twice, and kiss me once again" he sings along while kissing you in between each line, with the biggest grin. If you didn't know better, you would say his eyes were sparkling. He takes your hand and pulls you up off the couch, to stand with him. He holds you closesly and sways on the spot with you while the song plays out. You match his grin with your own and lock eyes with him, your own kind and sweet gentleman. 'Haven't felt like this, my dear, since can't remember when' plays out around the room and he he lifts up his arm so that he can spin you on the spot. You feel giddy and so very charmed. He pulls you back in and kisses you so tenderly and softly, while leaning you back slightly. He truly is the suave bitch you accuse him of being. The song plays to a end and he breaks away from the kiss "Food time though, before it get's cold okay?" he says pulling you back up and leading you to the couch. He retrieves his phone and pauses before the next song plays. "You up for watching that pod racing now?" you ask, still grinning from ear to ear. "Only if you are, I promise I won't talk through, how did you put it? 'One of the best race scenes put to cinema'" he even mimes the quotation marks in the air, You have to wonder who taught him that.
"I'm not wrong, Thank-You for being here Bucky, This is my perfect evening" you mean it, you are feeling much more at home and like yourself after being overwhlemed earlier. You feel, cosy. He passes you your plate and presses play on the dvd, which has been sitting paused and waiting this whole time. You eat together while watching, it seems being quiet was fairly easy because he was transfixed, As anyone should be when watching the phantom menace. Anakin fires up the engines on his pod racer and you instead find yourself watching Bucky, wanting to see his reaction to eveything, he turns to look at you briefly and smiles, before turning back to the screen. The room around you filled with the eclectic sounds of engines being fired, the screen adorned with creatures and contraptions. The race begins with Sebulba firing up his pod and racing through the start line, Bucky has even paused eating to watch what was happening. Likely a good idea as he had ordered noodles and would have probably made a mess.
Anakin's pod fails to fire and Bucky looks over to you, you know he is so desperate to say something, but you place a finger on your lips and motion with your eyebrows back to the screen. Finally, Ani races across the starting line and you watch as Bucky pulls up his legs fully onto the couch to watch, plate still in his lap. You decide to finish off your own food and return your plate to the table, as the racers enter the chasm and zoom past Aurra Sing. You pull yourself up onto the couch and lean into Bucky's shoulder, watching the movie as the Tuskan Raiders take shots at the pod racers. Bucky puts his arm around you and pulls you into his chest as the pod racers enter the third and final lap. He's holding you tightly, so much more at ease with being around you physically than earlier today, it seems his first time staying over at your place has been, mostly, a sucsess! The music kicks back into the pod race, no longer just sound effects, the tension was mounting as Anakin re-routes power to re-ignite both engines. Bucky's grip on your arm gets tighter as Ani speeds ahead to match Sebulba. You feel immensely smug about how totally correct you were, you knew he would be invested. Sebulba's racer breaks apart and explodes in a fiery inferno and little Anakin Skywalker races across the finish line "Yes!" You hear Bucky exclaim, He's finally free to talk now. "Oh gosh my food!" he laughs and goes back to eating "I told you it would be worth the wait" you start and he interrupts "Anything with you is always worth the wait" he pulls you in closer to he can kiss you on the top of the forehead. "So how long do I have sweet gentleman Bucky for?" you joke and Bucky laughs a little "As long as you want him for" "Let's start with forever then" you reply with a blush and he stops dead in his tracks. You for the first time see him blushing, not just from exertion, but a proper embarrassed blush, not a white and blank face, but a blush with a smile. "Are you just saying that so that you can steal from my plate?" he jokes and you laugh, stealing a piece of chicken "Maybe, that's for me to know, and for you to find out".