Chapter Text
Severus gasped, eyes wide. He was awake.
“Hermione,” he breathed.
“Severus!” Hermione exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and holding him tightly, “oh I’m so glad—“ her words were cut off by sobs that were muffled into his chest.
“Hermione,” he whispered, his throat raspy and cracking.
“Oh, don’t talk, it’s alright. Need to give your throat a chance to heal,” she explained through tears.
He looked utterly confused and she knew exactly why. He didn’t remember that he’d gone through with it. Her implanted memories had worked like a charm—er, worked exactly as they were supposed to. She would have to tell him. He was looking up at her expectantly. She wiped her eyes and began,
“You… took the poison,” she watched as his eyes went wide, “yes, and I… I created some memories and put them in your mind.” His eyebrows shot up further,” I know, but I didn’t know what else to do,” her eyes teared up again, “I didn’t want you to give up.” She choked back tears and continued on, “I thought if I could get you to believe that you hadn’t done it, and show you that it wasn’t worth it, you wouldn’t give in and you’d come back.” Her eyes betrayed her as tears streamed down.
She watched his expression as the memories seemed to make sense to him at once. She hated the cold clarity that came over him as he realized what she’d done. He was pointedly looking into her eyes and it took her a second to realize he was pushing against her mind, trying to be polite while nonverbally asking to use Legilimency in order to talk to her. She relaxed into his gaze and she felt his voice all around her,
“How long have I been here? I was with you— it was days…”
“They had to put you into a magically induced coma… it was the only way to make sure you’d stay safe while they flushed the poison out…”
“But how long?” he pressed.
“It’s been a week, you’re going to need time to recover.”
“How bad was it?”
“I found you right after, thankfully. So I brought you straight here. They were taking forever to get you stable, but I think making those memories helped keep you here on some level. When things got dire I checked and saw they hadn’t given you an antidote; it’s a much more uncommon variety, but they should have known. I gave it to you a few minutes ago.”
“Thank you.” It was soft, but she heard it. He meant it. The memories had worked, they had brought him back to her and she hoped more than anything that he would choose to stay.
“You were incredible, you know…” He tilted his head slightly, and she saw him wince, “you started creating things in there. Your bird, a store, you even went outside and came back. It was amazing… I really want to try that pie…”
She felt a warmth flood her chest as he smiled weakly at her, but then he looked puzzled,
“How could I read, if it was all memories?” She chuckled,
“You only read things that you’d read before,” she smiled, “your mind supplied the rest. It would seem familiar and realistic because you already knew it…”
“Brilliant.” She sensed that he hadn’t meant to communicate that, but she smirked anyway. It was likely the closest thing to a compliment that he would give her. She watched as his face twisted into a much different emotion,
“Nothing was real.” Hermione felt a pang of sadness as she realized he was trying to hide that fact that he felt tricked. He was upset, and trying to cover it up.
“Severus,” she lowered her voice, “I didn’t know what else to do… it was real to me…” she murmured. She watched his reaction and felt warmth come back to her as the sadness seemed to evaporate from his eyes. He had put up a wall between them, she knew that much, but she was hoping that he would understand. She slowly placed her hand over his, watching to see if he’d flinch away. He didn’t, so she wove her fingers into his.
“Will you come back with me? For real this time… you need to start with your recovery.”
Severus’ brows furrowed and Hermione knew she’d have to coax him to come back with her. The only hope she had was that she’d been successful once before, even if it was in his head. She looked down at their hands,
“I mean… you already know where everything is,” she bit her lip, hoping that would be of some comfort to him, “and I would really like to meet Odin in person.” Hermione pressed against his Occlumency wall to see if she could catch a glimpse of something. To no avail, he was closed off completely, otherwise she would have seen his realization that his bird had been a manifestation of his feelings toward her.
“Severus…” she made a point of looking him in the eyes, “please, let me take care of you. You don’t want to stay here, do you?”
Even his Occlumency shields couldn’t prevent his reaction to her question. He was rather enthusiastic about not wanting to remain in Mungo’s. The spark of hope continued to grow, but she wanted to find something that would actually compel him to accept her offer. He seemed to still be undecided, and she wasn’t sure what was stopping him.
“Look, I know you’re really… independent, and this might not be the best, but I want you to have somewhere warm and comfortable to stay. You’d have hot meals and I wouldn’t bother you. Severus, we’ve already done this.” His eyes snapped to her but she continued, “and if you wanted company, I’d be more than happy to offer my own if you’re so inclined.”
Hermione watched the change in his eyes as he dropped the wall and gently spoke to her,
“I’m a bit more than inclined.” Hermione felt her face get flooded by heat. She must have gotten through somewhere, and she held back a sigh of relief.
“So, you’ll come back with me while you recover?” she clarified.
“Yes.” Hermione allowed the relief show itself, yet she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen once he did recover. She pushed the idea aside, it would be a while before then and she resolved to put it out of her mind in the meantime.
Hermione found the Healers that had been assigned to Severus and had a hell of a time controlling her ire. She dragged them out into the hallway by the lapels of their coats, rather unprofessionally to her own surprise, and began her tirade,
“He could have died! You should have known better! And to think you call yourselves Healers! We have an incredibly comprehensive program that covers poisons, did you skip it?!”
“Healer Granger, really we—“ She wasn’t having it.
“You’re fired, is what you are. And now this man has to go through months of recovery and physical therapy because you didn’t know enough to make sure there wasn’t an antidote for the poison. Get out of my ward… right… now.” Her hair was crackling with the signs of her heightened anger. The red-faced Healers hurried out and Severus looked stunned yet oddly proud.
“What are you looking at?” A remnant of her fury was caught in her throat, and she winced at her tone. He didn’t appear to be affected. She felt him press against her mind, and she let herself fall open to him,
“Impressive, Granger,” he smirked. Her thoughts betrayed her as she accidentally grumbled,
“Thought we were on a first name basis.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and her eyes went wide,
“Shit, he heard me.”
“Heard that too, Hermione.”
After thoroughly embarrassing herself, she shoved him from her mind with less than a little grace. Once again, he didn’t seem fazed. She was glad that at least one of them could keep it together. In an attempt to distract herself from what had just happened, she looked over his paperwork and began to write up a schedule of the potions he would need to take, along with an outline for his physical therapy. She would have to double check with her supervisor about it in case a specialist would be needed. When she finished writing up the schedule and its directions, she went back to Severus’ bed,
“I’m going to start packing up the potions I’ll need to bring home with us, and I’ll be back later. They’re going to keep you overnight just to make sure your vitals are stable enough to let you be discharged,” she explained. He gave her a slight nod and she patted his hand before leaving to go to her wing’s storeroom.
Severus laid in the hospital bed while Hermione had gone to round up the potions he would need to take. He was surprised that she was genuinely willing to let him into her home. The first time, well aside from not being real, had been rushed and her influence over him was stronger considering the state in which he had been. He already knew this was going to be a problem, but he was desperate to get out of the hospital, and desperate to stay with her. She had made him feel safe and wanted, he wasn’t ready to give that up. It scared him to think that he wouldn’t ever be ready to give that up, but he knew eventually it would have to happen. He scolded himself for getting so invested, but the reality that he had a second chance at life made him care a little less about how horribly heartbroken he was bound to be. He could do as he pleased now, or at least when he recovered. Either way, things could be different now. Maybe things could be better. She didn’t seem to be repulsed by him, and she’d seen him at one of his lowest moments. That thought brought him an immeasurable amount of hope and relief.
Severus wondered how bad his condition was. He had overheard her firing some young Healers, and she’d said he’d be recovering for months due to their negligence. He secretly hoped that she was right. As much as he wanted to be fully independent and able to support himself, he found that in the very little time they had spent together in his mind, he had grown quite fond of her company. Her presence made him feel like everything was going to be okay. That was all he’d ever wanted.