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The evening was chilly as the soft wind blew onto Logan's face, contrasting with the smoke from his cigarette cradling his face in faint comfort. He was currently looking out the window, down at the not-so-busy street. He was waiting for Wade to come back from his walk with Mary Puppins. The dog Logan would never admit to like as much as he did.
Speaking of Wade. It was a 1 to 100 with him. At the same time he could be the most annoying person on the entire earth but also the one who's presence he enjoyed more and more with next months of them living together. Because Wade was like a constantly shape changing vessel logan just kinda adjusted to him, trying to listen to whatever bullshit Wade was talking about. Even though he didn't understand half of it. But he just always hummed along and learned whatever useless bulshit he could.
Because Wade was like a test you didn't study for yet, somehow you get a better score than everyone else. Which was scary for Logan that their level of intimacy in which they understood eachother was so deep and actually meant a lot for Logan. He didn't want to get attached to Wade's comforting presence, but it might be to late for that. Might. Just might.
Suddenly he heard an obnoxious bark and he glanced down at the streets. It was indeed Mary puppins pulling on Wade's leash and soon enough he saw them walk into the apartment building. In a hurry Logan pulled up his (Wade's) grey sweatpants and his (Wade's, again) plain white t-shirt (it was a miracle the merc had any) on before Wade would see him in boxers only. He'd rather avoid perverted jokes (which is almost certainly impossible) (especially if you're Hugh Jackman).
"I'm back peanut!" Wade exclaimed as soon as he entered the apartment. Logan saw him take off Mary Puppins leash and then undressing himself from his converse and coat. Of course Wade prioritised the dog. Wade put everyone before him, even Logan, which he think he don't deserve. After shit of a friend Logan has been to Wade.
"Quiet down Wade, Althea's sleeping"
"Oh that might be quite impossible. I'm the merc with a mouth for a reason, so I can't be quiet. Especially when I have this!" Wade rumbled through his tote bag and pulled out a CD showing it off excitedly. Logan grabbed it not really all that interested, but it was something Wade was excited about, so he treated it gently, not smashing it instantly.
"a CD? For what?" Logan put it down asking a fairly stupid question, he would laugh at Wade about. Which made him consider how harshly he treats him. However, about the Cd; it was the album Diffrent Class by Pulp, Logan heard a song or two from it, but never really dug deep.
"Listening duuuh" Wade responded rolling his eyes and turning on the CD player swiping dust of it. Logan didn't even know they had it.
"You might want to play it tommorow, bub. Remember Althea's sleeping." He pulled the merc away from the crappy machine. He did not want him to disturb the old lady's sleep. He owed her a lot. A home, (and so did Wade technically) comfort of living, family, a lot really.
"Oh please, blind Al is propably 7 feet deep in cocaine. She won't hear a thing" Wade reasured him without any sucess innit but before Logan could stop him and yank that fucker away, he already put in the CD and started switching through songs. "You need to hear my favourite one, honey badger"
Maybe if this was a diffrent evening Logan would protest, shove his claws into Wade's chest and throw that fucker out the window, but tonight? He just didn't. Instead he sat down on the pull-out couch with a tired look in his eyes, with not enough energy in his body to do anything else than listen to Wade's constant talking, maybe Wade would listen to the music quietly. Propably not.
"Why don't you shut the doors-" Wade quietly sang his feet tapping along the rhythm. Logan did not except this. He excepted a precise listen with Wade's yapping along, giving him useless facts about the song. That' what he prepared himself for, but he didnt predict getting a private concert, which for some embarrasinf reason somewhat intrigued Logan "-and close the curtains" He watched the merc playing with the curtains and closing them dramatically as he sang along the lyrics. " 'Cause you're not going anywhere" Logan felt Wade's hand slip onto his shoulder and squezing it, all from behind the couch. It almost felt like Wade was singing the lyrics to him, like he was saying the lyrics to him. Speaking the words to him. Telling Logan that they are staying together. Fuck maybe Wade did mean it. Holy shit.
Logan shoved Wade's hand off so he wouldn't show vulnerability that he felt insecurities about. Because he was the wolverine, he can't be a soft mess. He hide that side of him. But Wade didn't seem to mind and just continued singing "He's coming up the stairs, and in a moment-" Wade leaned down to Logan's ear. "-He'll want to see your underwear" Oh now he was definitely fucking with him.
Logan pushed the merc away, of course he couldn't choose a normal song, he had to choose something of Jarvis Cocker's that's head is almost as lust-filled as Wade's. And the worst part is that Logan started to recognise the song and he felt nostalgia hitting him. Little does Mouth know about the deep history he has with the song that alwayd made him stiff whenever he heard. He wish he was able to shut Wade the fuck up.
"I couldn't stop it now, there's no way to get out! He's standing far too near-" Wade stepped in front of the coffee table swinging his hips and turning around, having the time of his life playing with whatever Logan felt towards him, which he himself couldnt really recognise. When suddenly Wade looked straight into Logan's eyes, through his soul and Logan felt as if the merc was directing the lyrics to him.
"-How the hell did you get here?"
Because it was true. How did he end in Wade''s shitty apartment in a diffrent universe. After fucking up everything he ended up with another chance that he didn't deserve at all. This made Logan chuckle from pity, but the smirk quickly faded, because he didn't deserve anything more than slouching rest off his miserable eternity in a bar, drinking himself till he black-out, again, and again, and again.
"Semi-naked in somebody's else's room" He got distracted by Wade pulling his shirt up with his hands tracing his hips so sexually, persuading Logan.. Why did this distract him so much. It was just Wade. Why would he get distracted by the view of his scared body and lustful movements. It was his fucking roomate he shared a couch with. Its nothing special. And suddenly he walked closer to the couch. "I'll give my whole life to see it. Just you, stood there. Only in your underwear." Wade placed a hand on his thigh and Logan immidietly pushed him away with a bit too much strenght, but that stupid fucker just winked at him. Not seeming put-off by the 'rejection' or whatever that was.
Suddenly right before the solo part of the song Wade immidiated Jarvis Cockers moans on the song over dramatically. It got Logan so embarrassed and so flushed that he started qestioning himself. But he had to remember that Wade was just a merc with a mouth, fucking with him like he does with anyoby else. Acting like he acts with everybody else. So he had to ignore any thoughts that were in the back of his mind for a long long time.
"Yall better not fuck, I'm not asleep yet!" Althea's voice sounded from her room. Shit. So she wasn't burried head to toe's in cocaine. She was hearing this stupidity, this singing, this.. fake moaning. Now Logan was keeping guard of himself even more than before. He did not want to embarass himself, nor Wade.
"Oh how I'm gonna fuck him Al! I wish you weren't blind so you'd see!" Wade yelled back and a blush crept over Logans face yet he convinced himself its just embarrassment, and annoyance. Nothing special. But the pandora box was almost open at this point. As much as Logan tried to keep it clsoed it's just the fact that Wade made him the best version of him, and made him actually like himself. Made him feel needed and liked and- no, no, no. Logan stop. Listen to the music. (As if that helped) Focus on it. Even tho in reality it only intensified what he felt.
"Motherfucker I wish I was deaf too!" Al screamed back propably waking up the neighbours that considered moving out because of the three.
"Love you too Al!" Wade replied quickly and went back to swaying his body to the still on-going music not singing anymore. At least for now.
"Go fuck yourself"
"Oh I will" And Logan could only imagine. But he tried not to but the image was burn into his eye lens, and he wondered if this memory would be something Wade would get off to. Knowing this freak, propably yes. And that can't shock Logan. It's Wade he's like that with everyone isn't he. Sometimes we all masturbate to the thought of our friends, don't we? Yeahhh. (That's assuming him and Wade were friends, which Logan would never admit, because of course he wouldn't)
He hoped this hell (or rather heaven) will stop, but Wade couldn't care less, he was in a trans just humming and letting his body get dragged back into the melody. Pretending he didn't miss a big part of the song, (the whole fucking middle) because he'd rather argue with Althea.
"If you could close your eyes-" Wade cupped Logans face who immidietly flinched away with a growl, of course he was not used to intimacy and fondness, touch, all of it. He didn't want that closeness even tho he secretly carved it, but now he didnt want it. Especially if it was just a sick pretend game from Wade. "-and just remember, that this is what you wanted last night" The merc turned around moving his ass too close to Logan's face. He immidietely shived him away with an annoyed grunt. Because fuck no, he is not gonna get lurred by Mouth so easily. He's not easy. Actually he is when it comes to Wade. But he has to keep his composure and not let Wade just meaninglessly hook up with him, just get some pleasure out of his vulnerable ass.
"So why is it so hot, for you to touch me" This fucker. Changed the lyrics. It originally says; 'to touch him'. But this motherfucking son of a bitch changed it, so it's directed to Logan directly. It makes his cheeks flush as much as he hated that. The merc just grinned. Fuck fuck fuck. Wade is onto this. Wade knows. He knows they are dancing around eachother, dodging whatever closeness they have so they don't pull one another to insanity and don't hurt eachother.
"For you to go, and give yourself to me or Jesus!" Wade looked away from Logan's eyes and sang whatever lyrics were next, pretending as if he didn't just change those. And as if he now didn't sing the last lines of the text with such a fondness in his voice Logan didn't recognize, but he wanted more of it "I want to see you, want to see you standing in your underwear."
Logan was conflicted, propably more than he should. But it was just lust right? Wade wouldn't want somebody like him. Especially romantically. It would be ridicolous. Maybe the overall lust the merc had for him was because of his insecurities. Because he knew Wade thought nobody could love how he looks, which was bullshit obviously, Logan was heavily attracted to him. He didn't understand how for somebody his scars could be a problem. He found them endearing. Unique. And maybe Wade wanted a single night from someone who doesn't mind. Who never asks about it. Who just likes him how he is.
But Logan didn't want to be delusional and take it as anything more than sex. He didnt want to end up disapointed. So shoving any feelings and closeness aside seemed like a safer option. Pretending they didn't want eachother, or at least pretending Logan didn't want Wade. Not sexually, nor romantically.
"Logan"
His eyes perked up at Wade standing in front of him. In his baggy sweatpants, a tshirt with "i love dilf's" on it and his bloody mask. (Oh how he hated when Wade wore his mask at home.) His name sounded so weird coming from Wade's lips, because the merc always used some stupid petnames that were reaching insanity yet Logan secretly endeared them. But Wade calls everyone petnames, its nothing. Nothing.
Now Logan realised he must've spaced out thinking way too much about Wade just singing a song (and dancing very very... well). It's just music, maybe he forgot the original lyrics. Who cares. Nothing special. Nothing special. Just a dance. Not the one where they dance around an elephant in the room.
"Yeah bub?"
"I asked if you liked that private dance, honeybadger" The Merc placed his hand on his hip leaning closer to Logan who immidietly leanedback on the couch to avoid contact and closeness.
"Private dance? What is this? A strip club?" He huffed with a quietend laugh.
"Could be" Wade rolled his eyes with a snort slowly pulling his shirt up. Logan tried not to look at his scared and jacked abdomen, but it was difficult to avoid. Wade's abs just looked at him like it wanted to be touched. He laughed it all off trying to hide the blush creeping on his face. "So did you like it?" Wade asked and did actually take off his shirt. God how he wanted to plave his hands on this collarobone and run them down to his v-line, but he had to stop the thought before he got hard. That would be stupidly embarassing.
"Sure thing bub" Logan checked Wade up and down, discretly "I know that song"
"Oh do you now. Didn't know a man from New Zealand like you would know some good ol' britpop"
"I'm Canadian Wade"
"So am I, ironic isn't it?" Wade chuckled and suddenly he felt the uncomfortable silence creep over both of them for a few moments as they both just starred away from eachother seeking a new topic to avoid the elephant in the room. "So where do you know that song from?" Wade couldn't keep quiet for more than a moment, but now it was for the better, and maybe secretly it was the most charming thing about him, his personality that Logan pretood to hate so much.
"It's a long story" He actually didn't want to speak about it that much, because of how little detail he remember and how shit of a person he was back then, but Wade just stood there curious, how could he say 'no' directly to him? Even tho he really didn't want to talk about other people when he had Wade around (and he felt commited to him even tho they weren't an item), because he didn't need other people. He needed Wade, he wanted Wade. As much as he hated him, he also loved him a lot.
"Come oooon! Tell me snookums! I have all the time reserved just for you" Wade winked. He fucking winked. Hw flirted. Logan pretood he didn't see it and totally wasn't affected. So he just rolled his eyes trying not give in into the overwhelming lust (and hopefully something more) that was coming from Wade as he sat down next to Logan.
"Well um- I was in a bar and this girl came up to me. I managed to put up with her and got so drunk that.. I sang karaoke in the bar, this song specifically. It was a nice change from all the drowning myself in sorrow, and well.." He trailed off, he didn't want to make this uncomfortable, but he felt pressured to tell the truth. "We went back to her apartment. And we hooked up. And this song was playing on the radio. This damn song..... but i never saw her again!!"
Logan avoided looking at Wade's eyes that were covered by the mask anyway. He couldn't see his expresion, but he could sense Wade's disappointment, and then the fake excitement he always had. "Ooooh so it's your hook-up song sweetcheeks?" Logan waved him off, he managed to forget about the girl until he was reminded of course. "You could've said earlier we could keep the tradition going"
"What-"
"What."
He eyed Wade a bit shocked and confused, but then he remembered it's the merc with a mouth. The merc with a fucking mouth to yap, to tease, to fuck. He's just like that. It dindint mean nothin', that thought made Logan giggle, but pitifully, for himself. That's he was just a fuckable object.
"Sorry bub, I don't do casual no more" He responded as if it was nothin' as if Wade's offer wasn't serious. Because it couldn't be. Right?
"Who says it- wait wait wait" Wade glared at him through the mask "So if you did casual you would actually.. sleep with me?"
That question took Logan completely off guard. He didnt have an answer. Would he? Would he fuck Wade Wilson? Honestly he wanted to. He wanted to so bad, he would even do it casually just for Wade, but that would make him into a hopeless romantic reaching closeness, with his love being unrequited. That's why he stopped himself. That's why he didn't do it yet. Cuz if he would, he would chase Wade forever. He would end up in a situantionship like a stupid teenager. And after a minor mistake they would break apart, and Logan go into a bar and to Fiona Apple like every gal after the Age of 14.
"Well.. I'd think about it. You try to get me to bed every night, maybe one day I would give in"
Logan tried to be mean, and to deny what he felt and how easily Wade lured him. It was supposed to be said jokingly. But he still sounded so stupidly in love. So down for him.
Wade didn't respond for a longer second, which freaked Logan out. He wasn't used to the merc being quiet. It only happend when something was off or when Wade was really really focused. And now he seemed focused on Logan (at least he hoped s. God it was like if he was looking right at Logans insides, like watching his hear beat. And he did all that with a mask on.
"We could do it even right now, but only if you want peanut... Consent is sexy." Logan at format thought he didn't hear it right. Wade just.. asked him to go to bed. This can't be serious. This can't be real.
"I told you I don't do casua-"
"It doesn't have to be that" And this sentence shut Logan up. He didnt know a response. So he just waited for Wade to continue, because of how flushed he was. Because of his most secret dreams coming out. "Um- you know I actually well.. we could go to dinner first. Or a bar. Wherever you'd like."
Logan felt his throat go dry and his body go numb. Brain not processing what the fuck is going on. Wade asked him to go out. Like on a date. And he felt like the pandora box opened. Their feelings out of the open. His mouth let out a quiet murmur only; "Are you asking me out?" Wade didn't respond. This motherfucker- "Why?"
"I'm afraid that's a stupid question Wolvie"
"No it's- like I'd get it if was just you being desparate to get laid by anyone, but.. asking me out to dinner- on a date? That's not- purely sexual. That's not casual, not what I'd except from you. I thought you wanted a quick fuck, not.. something so.. romantic" The Last word was barely hearable because of how ashamed Logan was of this romance.
"I know" Now that was a response, one that Logan didn't except. One that he.. liked, that confirmed Wade's feelings. For some stupid reason he was head over heels with Wade fucking Wilson. That's like self-harm. Because Wade is the most annoying prick ever ti exsist.
They both didnt say anything for a longer moment. They just sat there in silence without a single word coming out of their mouths. No thought in their brains. Actually a lot of thoughts but no words for them.
Seconds passed, or minutes, or hours, before Logan could say something quietly, because Wade wasn't going to speak apparently (which is rare) (very rare) (kinda off-putting)
"yes"
"What?" Wade looked at him confused.
"I'll go on a date with you." Logan exhaled a breath he didn't realise he was holding for so long, and he looked at Wade, that he wished he had his mask off. Wished he could see what Wade feels. Wished he could smash their lips together.
"Cool.." Wade manage to barely get it out of his mouth. He was fidgeting with his fingers and his jaw trembled slightly. Which would've worried logan, but this was a natural reaction for this type of situation. (He knew because his own insides were twisting right now)
"Go to sleep bub" He stood up pulling Wade of the couch to and making their bed. Even if what was considered their was just a stupid pull-out couch. He at least placed some pillows and got the blanket off the armchair.
Logan felt Wade's gaze on him as they layed down next to eachother. He heard the merc's uneven breath and rapid heartbeat as they didn't face one another ashamed of small confessions they made. Ashamed to see reflections of eachothers in the others eyes. He could only hear Wade taking off his mask. He wished he had enough courage to turn around and look at him. And admire his face, before he was able to speak out.
"Goodnight Bub"
"Goodningt Peanut"
It ended with those words, or rather started. Because that stupid song, that stupid conversation definitely opened a new chapter in their lives. Started something new. Hopingly something beautiful. Something in which they could destroy eachother, basen eachother with lobe so much they would become one. And God it already started
Because tonight they slept closer to one another than they usually did.