Chapter Text
Currently, Minho is having a hard time. Why, you'd ask -of course-. Well, he is sitting right beside his horny boyfriend that does nothing about it and he is currently busy stressing himself instead of focusing on the movie that has been playing on the TV screen. Why doesn't he help him with it -you know, in the way how a partner usually would? It's because; he is an asexual and they do not have sex, nothing bad. He had come to terms with it in his early teenage years. And ever since being Jisung's, he hasn't thought about it at all. It's not like he is getting uncomfortable doing or encountering it because of a trauma response, really. He just doesn't and hasn't felt anything towards a naked body or a sexual act. Looking at a naked body feels like looking at someone's face. Just, nothing..? And, why does Jisung's squirming around because of his turned-on self bothers him? Well, it's because he can't do anything about it, even if he wants to at least try helping.
It's not the first time that he sees his boyfriend like this. Jisung is and has always been kind of a horny person, he assumes. At first, he even thought that their relationship wouldn't work because of it. But Jisung insisted -and proved- that it didn't change how much he loved him, how much he needed him by his side. They had come to accept it and live with it without any problems. Just a few kisses and cuddles were plenty enough, Jisung says. Even Minho is not that oblivious... He knows when Jisung is horny. Hell, he even knows about Jisung's toys and when he uses them -he can't help finding it out since they live together...
And the bad thing is, he is slowly getting used to it. His boyfriend looks like he is in pain with his slightly furrowed eyebrows and it hurts Minho's soft heart. He wants to coo at him and tuck him in the bed, kiss his pain away. But that's only an animalistic reaction of his platonic brain; he knows that it's not it. And he also knows that he'd do whatever if it would make Jisung happy. Even if Jisung says that Minho is not responsible for it or that he doesn't want him to -as if, Minho wants to help. Minho pouts, thinking about it. He wants to be there for Jisung, for whatever or whenever. Melting on the cozy couch, he huffs out the air that has been inside his cheeks and turns to look at Jisung, who looks like he is focused on the TV, but Minho knows that he is not, at all.
He takes a breath and opens his mouth, but Jisung cuts him off. ''No,'' he sharply says. Turning towards the older while he's sitting between his arms, he pouts; ''I don't want you to.'' Minho sighs and Jisung glares at him. He always does this, scolding Minho with his gaze as if he is a kid who did something bad. Minho is not a kid, okay? And he wants to help. ''Jisung, I want to do something for you. Even for once,'' he says, tries again. He doesn't want to lose this argument -their only topic of argument- every single time. He wants to prove it to Jisung -just like how he had done for Minho, that he'd be okay with everything as long as he gets to be with him. Jisung reaches for the controller and stops the movie, turning all of his body towards the older as he sits cross-legged. ''Minho,'' he says and reaches for the older's hands. Looking deeply into his eyes, he opens his beautiful mouth again; ''I said this already and will say it again and again until you understand. You are not responsible for it and I don't want you in that way.'' Pretty baby is concerned about him, always.
Minho wants to laugh. Jisung is a good liar, but he is trying to lie to Minho. His Minho, who knows his heart in and out; who knows him more than himself does. He can deny it as much as he wants, but Minho is not blind. Minho can see his want in his gaze at times, Minho can sense it in his movements too. It feels good, if he is being honest, to be wanted by the love of his life. He likes it, but just not in that way. Nothing wrong at all.
''It would feel like helping you with anything else, Jisung. It's not a big deal for me,'' he says as if he doesn't care, hoping maybe being nonchalant about it would get him to agree. He catches his lover's gaze, his puppy eyes are on show. Jisung relaxes, huffs out, and hangs his head, ''It is a big deal for me, Hyung. I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that you aren't enjoying it like I do.'' His voice grows smaller as he speaks. Minho needs to kiss his embarrassment away, but instead he just slowly caresses his brown locks. ''I would enjoy it. Just, -not in the same way as you do.'' Jisung nods slightly, his soft hair tickles Minho's hand. ''-And that is enough for me Jisung. I want to see you happy.''
He never lies about his feelings, he wants to make him happy. He knows that Jisung is not sad, he can see that. He just doesn't get why Jisung is refusing him, if not because just to be stubborn. It feels like giving a gift. And he would be happy himself to see Jisung satisfied instead of seeing him build all of his tension up in his body. Jisung sighs once more and lifts his head. He is cute like this, the TV's light shines in his pretty eyes. ''Let me think a little bit?'' He offers and Minho agrees with a hum. Because Minho is always ready for whatever, if it's coming from Jisung. Because Minho is dedicated to love Jisung properly. ''Okay,'' he smiles and pets his head once more. He is glad that Jisung is finally giving a little bit into him. He is glad that Jisung is considering Minho's feelings in this too, even if it's mostly about himself. And, he loves Jisung. So. Much.
Decided, he doesn't want their evening to end at all. So he gets comfortable again and takes Jisung by his arm to make him lie on his chest. Jisung's hair smells so good as he puts his chin on his head. He is happy and in peace. He is where he wants to be the most. He is so, so glad.
''But don't think that I'll accept it just because I'm gonna consider it, okay?''
Sheesh.
↝
''Hyung,'' Minho hears as he is about to go into the shower. Totally a normal day, was it? He turns towards Jisung, standing in the middle of the corridor where it merges with the spacy living room; a dark green coach turned to its side as a big TV screen stays closed across of it; where their cuddly movie nights occur. Jisung's wet hair drips droplets of water from his neck to his white t-shirt, but he looks like he couldn't care less. Minho looks at him, Jisung is beautiful as usual. He can't wait to take his shower so that he can go and cuddle with Jisung. He hums as he takes him in once more. Jisung seems like he can't keep eye contact for too long. Minho is about to wonder why, but Jisung's red cheeks hint at something that makes Minho smile. ''I considered it and-'' he says and turns to look at the carpet as he takes a deep breath. ''I want to try it.''
It feels good to know Jisung trusts him. It also feels good to finally being able to give Jisung what he deserves, even if it gives nothing to Minho, his boyfriend's happiness is his happiness. Minho's smile widens, ''Okay.'' He knew it.
He goes into the shower with a tight smile given to him by the angels. He undresses and throws his clothes in the laundry basket next to the towel closet. He steps on the bathtub, turning the water on and adjusting the its warmness, he goes under the water. The lukewarm makes all of his muscles soften as he sighs, this feels good. He hangs his head down as he lets the water wet his hair and massage his scalp with the pressure. And when he opens his eyes, he looks at his dick...
What an useless thing. How do people get horny over a part of a body? How people are losing their minds and doing all of those noises with a feeling. He doesn't get it, but he knows enough. He tried so many things at first, not knowing what asexuality meant. He tried different techniques, he did some research. In the end, it didn't work for him. It was not like he didn't feel anything, really. He felt it, but not that much. And it was certainly not addictive like his peers had told him. He had silently listened to all of his friend's adventures with their dicks. And, he didn't feel bad that he was not feeling it. With the life he has, he has nothing to complain about. He thinks he is lucky.
He slaps his soft dick, watching it swing with the water flowing on it. It's been more than five years since he had last seen his dick hard. He snorts, it's funny how it looks compared to a hard one. And he only hopes that he won't snort and laugh as he helps Jisung. Only if he can't get it up because of the excitement or something. Because, that would be just too funny...
↝
Now, it's too warm. Why? Because Jisung is literally on fire. He wanted to calm him down before they start to do anything, Jisung looked so nervous. But, he didn't know that Jisung's cheeks being even more redder meant that his body would be this hot. It's embarrassment, isn't it?
Jisung buries his face onto Minho's chest and tightens his arms. He looks like he is about to change his mind and nuh-uh, Minho doesn't want him to change his mind; he is having none of it. So he slowly lets his own arms go loose, a sign for Jisung to understand that the hugging part was over. Jisung understands and also lets go of Minho, putting his hands on his redder-than-a-chimp's-ass cheeks. Minho straightens up in the bed, looking down at Jisung and his eyes which keep averting his gaze. He looks so, so cute and Minho could hug him for an eternity. But he guesses that it's not the time. He crawls to the bed's end, sitting right in front of Jisung's feet. Well, maybe he could tease him a little bit.
They talked before coming to the bed. Minho told him to say when it's too much and that he would stop. They agreed to not do any anal stuff -yet. Jisung told him what he might like when he does it and Minho used every single one of his brain cells to memorize all of them. He just wants Jisung to be satisfied. If Jisung makes Minho live in his dreams in that way, he will help. He will do whatever Jisung ever wants, especially if it's a thing that only Minho, himself can give it to him.
He smiles with a soft puff of air and it does wonders as Jisung finally looks at him. ''I'm about to change my mind and cuddle you to death,'' he says with a soft voice, almost like a whisper. Jisung's eyes slightly widen and he once more averts his gaze. His hands never left his cheeks and he looks like he is sweating a little too. Minho does his best to not get cute aggression. ''Okay, let's cuddle,'' Jisung says, determined, as he lets go of his cheeks and puts them onto his chest. Minho chuckles and crawls forward, sitting, ''No, no. I was joking,'' he says and holds Jisung's legs and pulls him. Jisung makes a noise like a little whimper, but it sounds higher than his usual voice. Which is cute. Okay, Minho is maybe a little bit more than glad to hear it.
Now that he is between Jisung's legs, Jisung looks like a meal. It feels a little weird to be in this position. Jisung is lying in front of him like a literal meal while he is sitting. And Jisung, who puts his hands on his face again, just waits for him to do something. The trust Jisung has in him makes Minho's heart go softer. He really considers if he should cuddle him instead.
He takes Jisung in. His grey shirt with a print on it is a little bit big for his tiny body. He has black shorts that reach under his knees. His honey-brown locks that fall to the bed look soft and his tan skin looks shiny. He is the love of Minho's life. He is Minho's other part. He is Minho's heart and mind. And for all four years of dating him, he never got bored of Jisung. His Jisung, looks like a bunny that was caught in a trap right now.
"Sorry," says Jisung. His hands are lying unmoving at his sides. His voice sounds a little sad and Minho wants to be the one who apologizes. Jisung doesn't have to apologize for letting his voice out. Minho won't be uncomfortable. "Baby," he sulks. "Don't apologize." Jisung closes his eyes as if he is trying to get his head around it. He looks like he is not ready at all. Minho feels horrible thinking about Jisung forcing himself.
"B-but I'll probably be too loud and I don't want you to-" he rushes out with his eyes tightly closed. He sharply breathes and stops. He doesn't say anything anymore, doesn't finish his sentence. But Minho knows, and he wishes he didn't know this time. "That's bullshit, Jisung," Minho tells him. He reaches for his hands and holds them tightly. "I love you." He wishes that Jisung knew how he was with sex. He wishes that he'd elaborated instead of simply describing what an asexual is, what he feels like.
He grabs Jisung by his legs once more and puts them over his legs as he sits cross-legged. Jisung looks at him like he expects something and there is a slight difference in his eyes. Minho knows what it is, but there are no butterflies in his stomach as it would if he were into it in that sense. The lack of these feelings never upset him, but he can't help but remember the descriptions of how it feels like. He can't help but compare. While someone else would've been feeling a kind of spark with having a gaze like Jisung's on them -not that he wants to ever imagine that,- he only gets happy as it reminds him of Jisung's want. Jisung still looks more embarrassed than ever, yet he looks into Minho's eyes. "I love you too," he whispers. Minho smiles at him. It feels good to hear it.
He wants to start somehow. He has a few alternatives in his head that he can start with. And then he'll do what those people did in the romantic porn videos he had watched a few days ago for educational purposes. He looks at Jisung and it feels like the time has slowed down. Jisung's gaze is intense, though it can't capture Minho's childlike mind.
Is he nervous? No...
...
Okay, yeah; he is nervous. Because he really really wants to satisfy Jisung. And how is he supposed to do that when he doesn't even know how it feels, when he doesn't get ideas about it? Will researching it and memorizing the things Jisung had told him about himself be enough? He hoped so, but now he is not sure. He has no problem touching Jisung's bare skin or seeing him naked, even if it's for the first time. But, how is he supposed to make this sensual for him?
"Hyung." Maybe he will start by kissing him. It feels good to kiss, yeah. He could do that. But after that? "Hyung!" Should he kiss his neck? He likes neck kisses too, it makes Jisung giggle and run away from him. His little ticklish thing totally loves being kissed by his neck. Oh, but-
"Baby!" Jisung pouts and shakes his leg, swaying Minho along. Minho gasps and looks at his boyfriend who is still patiently waiting for him. He can't believe that he zoned out. It's not a big deal, he reminds himself. It's just like helping him sleep.
"Sorry, baby. I'm gonna start now, okay?" Jisung nods shyly and Minho leans in with a smile. He doesn't want to make his baby wait anymore, Jisung has been patient enough that it's actually mind blowing how come he still didn't hump Minho in his sleep. He pecks his cheeks and lips a few times. Jisung closes his eyes and takes deep breaths as Minho continues to kiss his jaw and neck. He puts the hand that he doesn't use to support himself on Jisung's waist and caresses.
Jisung pants softly when Minho nibbles at his neck, his hands flying to hold Minho's shirt from the front. He seems to get aroused by it, good. Minho wonders how come he is not getting ticklish now.
He goes even lower and kisses Jisung's clothed chest before he separates. He looks at Jisung's face and high-fives himself in his head. Jisung is clearly already aroused and a little bit teary-eyed. Minho is not surprised that he would have tears in his eyes. He gives another soft smile at the panting boy under him and realizes that he must be hot. He decides to undress him.
He asks if it's okay, and with a nod, he pulls off his shirt, Jisung sitting up slightly to help him. Jisung lays back with his bare chest and Minho feels like he can't get enough of the sight. Jisung looks so content with his closed eyes. So relaxed and safe under him. Minho is almost proud of himself, if he knew better.
He leans back in and kisses his chest. He loves to kiss Jisung. His skin is like velvet under Minho's lips. He can't not only hear but can also feel his breathing this way too. He can't help his smile. He is enjoying this, worshipping Jisung with little pecks all around his body. He kind of gets why people would like this.
He lets his hands wander through the curves and soft places on the body that he knows by the heart. He had hugged Jisung and slept like that countless times. He, of course, knows his body portions, and of course, knows how it feels under his hands. It's just that, he didn't know how velvety and hot his skin would feel under his lips. He also didn't know that Jisung could get this warm like a heater. It feels intimate, a different kind of intimate. He supposes that he can feel the feelings people can experience while having sex, minus arousal. He feels as content as Jisung is. And this really is like helping Jisung with something; as he lays down, it feels closest to help him sleep. Stroking his honey-brown hair while Jisung softly snores always felt like therapy. He supposes that Jisung is enjoying it as he does.
When Minho sits up, Jisung doesn't open his eyes this time. And it only makes Minho smile even more. His breathing never changed and Minho knows that if he were to do it a little bit more, he would hear Jisung's soft whimpers. He could do that but, he just doesn't want his sensitive boyfriend to get overwhelmed. They can work on it slowly, step by step. He doesn't stop caressing all over his chest and arms. He follows the patterns his hands make with his eyes and slowly drags his hands to his waist. And his gaze gets caught in a tent on Jisung's pants.
Oh. Oh, okay, he thinks. He is pretty successful. He also thinks that Jisung looks hot, probably? No, he is definitely hot. He must have felt Minho's hands stop since he is staring at Minho with his half-lidded eyes. Yes, he looks hot. He is Jisung, for fuck's sake. Of course, he looks hot.
He smiles softly and without breaking eye contact, he puts his palm on Jisung's bulge. He feels like a cat doing it. You know, like a cat pushing a glass off of the table while all looking at you. He is not fully doing something that he shouldn't, but cats look like they are teasing you while doing it. Like, they are saying ''Hehe, look what I'm doing.'' Yeah, you get the picture?
Well, what he was not expecting is Jisung to flinch suddenly. He gets an urge to get his hand off of him, he barely stops himself from doing so. He has to remind himself that these reactions are not because he is hurt. Jisung closes his eyes and shakily exhales, his hands grab the sheets by his sides. Minho is curious now; curious about how Jisung will actually react, curious about his own skills. He wants to ask Jisung after this.
He palms Jisung and watches his face. Jisung furrows his brows but by the increase in his breathing rate, Minho knows that Jisung is feeling good. Very carefully, he puts some weight onto it and feels it twitch under his hand.
He doesn't want to tease him at all. He actually wants it to be over already. Not because he is bored or that he dislikes it. But because Jisung looks desperate. Minho wants to serve him, no matter how.
"Should I take these off?" Minho asks as he puts his other hand on his waistband. He is ready to undress Jisung and see him butt-naked for the first time. No, he doesn't think that he could laugh at Jisung anymore. He looks like a baby, and it's just...
Minho really wants to cuddle him to death.
Jisung nods once more, probably too shy to speak. Minho understands. He would be shy to get undressed in front of someone too, even with Jisung. He might not see himself as someone that people should have sexual desires about, but he still wants to look beautiful. He still wants to attract Jisung.
He takes his shorts off and throws them somewhere in the room. He takes Jisung in and Jisung looks so shy. His hands twitch where he holds them and Minho knows that he wants to hide himself. He chuckles slightly, Jisung is so cute.
"Hey, it's okay," he tells Jisung. He absent-mindedly looks at his dick and takes it in his hand. It's warm, even more than Jisung's chest and cheeks. And it looks like it's melting from the tip because of the pre-come on it. Jisung heavily breathes and looks at Minho's hand that's wrapped around his shaft. Minho slowly strokes it up, its texture feels foreign.
Realizing how dry it is, he decides to use the lube Jisung had brought with him before coming to bed. He grabs it with his other hand from the bedside table. "I'll use some, okay?" He wants to be sure that Jisung is comfortable. Jisung hums with a strained voice and it makes Minho smile even more. He lets go of his shaft to put some on his hand.
He warms up the lube, Jisung had told him so. This way, he wouldn't feel like there is an ice pressed against his skin, he had said. He smiles without even noticing it as he gently wraps his hand back around his shaft. Jisung flinches again, "Cold," he hisses and Minho apologizes softly. He knows that no matter how much he waits for it to warm up, the warmness on his hand won't warm it enough. He knows the coldness will fade away eventually. And he sees that it's sooner than later; he can see how the lube melts between his fingers.
His hand twitches around his dick and he finds himself mesmerized by it. He looks up at his lover's face, eyebrows knitted, mouth open as he waits for Minho to move. Minho moves then, slowly stroking him, up and down, with a loose grasp. Jisung makes a noise, close to a whimper but not quiete.
He chuckles as silently as possible and continues. He keeps moving his fist, up and down, up and down and he thinks that he would get bored if it was not for seeing his lover cutely squirm. He leans on him for a moment, just to caress his his cheek. It's still hot, and he gets close to Jisung for a moment. He doesn't think it's good for his heart. He can't wait to hug his Jisung.
Jisung turns his head to the side where Minho caressed him. His hands grip the sheets tightly. His eyes still closed and his mouth slightly open. Minho wants him to feel it more, so he plays with his slit. Jisung makes a sound familiar as a sob. Minho thinks it's beautiful.
Yet, he stops it and continues to his movements. Instead, he fastens even more and Jisung opens his eyes slightly. He has been holding his moans back, hasn't he? His teary eyes make Minho believe that it's much more pleasurable than he thought. Jisung doesn't seem like he'll say something, but Minho slows down in case of it. He waits for him, doesn't even realize that he is not smiling anymore. But he knows for sure that Jisung has realized how Minho's eyes observe him. Minho knows because Jisung averts his eyes.
Minho wants Jisung to look at him. He wants him to let loose already. He speeds his movements even more and Jisung fucking writhes. He doesn't say anything, but his moans are almost out of his control at this point. His embarrassed sounds get to Minho's head.
He is overly focused on Jisung, and he can't find it himself to not let this scene wholly absorb him. Jisung looks ethereal when he flinches, when Minho tightens his fist. His noises are coming out of his little mouth one by one, each one louder and Minho thinks that his ears would twitch if he was a cat.
He speeds up his hand and just listens to all of the sounds around him. He can still hear the faint buzz of the fridge, but the slick noises, whimpers, and gasps, fully cover it by time until they are the only things he can hear besides his own heart. His gaze moves upwards once more. He is the most beautiful thing Minho has ever seen. Jisung, his Jisung. Minho wants to kiss him.
Minho gulps. It's not like they never kissed. He sometimes goes further with it too, biting his lip slightly and nibbling on his pink lips. But doing that right now? He doesn't know why he wants it and also doesn't know why his rational self refuses it.
When his wide-open eyes met with Jisung's teary ones, Jisung whimpers again. "Hyung," he forces out. Minho hums, his hand feels like it's on autopilot and he might have come only to watch Jisung. "I'm close," he only whispers it. His voice is hoarse and his moans turn into breathy ones. Minho leans in to peck him on the lips. Jisung is looking at him and he can't help but put his forehead on his. "Come, baby," he whispers back. Even his own voice sounds strained.
Jisung's eyes close and he gets even louder. Now Minho knows what he sounds like when he fully lets himself go. He can feel how warm Jisung is, can smell Jisung, and it smells like home. He closes his own eyes too, loving how they share this moment. He can also feel Jisung's sounds on his lips, his hot breath tickles his cupid bow.
He hears how Jisung's breath hitches and knows that it's almost over. He pecks him once more, accidentally interfering with his moan, and then feels him spill on his hands. Continuing until his high ends, he stops when he feels Jisung flinch again. He stops moving completely, but somehow, he finds it hard to take his hand off. He doesn't want to separate. He wants to cuddle him as his breath evens.
With the cum on his hand and Jisung's stomach, he can only lie on his side. He came a lot, it seems. And he must be so tired after this, Minho is too, and his arm hurts. He puts his hand on Jisung's heaving stomach and watches his face until he opens his eyes. Jisung turns his head towards him, his breathing is deep.
Jisung is still cute and the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He smiles big and kisses his shoulder. Jisung pouts, still shy, and turns his head back to the ceiling. "Thank you," he says. Minho wants to scream that he is welcome, that he shouldn't even mention it. He could do this every day. But instead, he gets up to find something to clean Jisung up. He can't make his baby take a bath when he is so tired.
"Thank you, too," Minho gives him one last smile and a peck. He tells Jisung that he'll go grab a towel and gets out of the room to go to the bathroom. He gets out of the room and enters the door right across as the door stays half-closed. He rushes to wash his hands, not that he is disgusted, but because he needs his hands now. After he is done, he carelessly dries his hands on his shirt, and he gets close to the shelves where the towels are. He reaches for the towels that are neatly folded on the upper side, but these won't do. They luckily have smaller ones in the bottom shelves, so he opens the bottom door and looks down at them.
And he feels like a bucket of ice-cold water has poured over his head.
He is hard.
And with the shock of seeing it, his stomach tightens. Then it twitches, and Minho feels the butterflies on his stomach, but this time a little bit lower.