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Sitting on a log, Jackie Taylor stares out at the wilderness in a trance. There's a hunger that gnaws and rumbles in her belly, leaving her vision blurry around the edges, a haze settling over her. It's better than having to deal with the reality, of being stranded, of being betrayed, it's a reminder of home. It feels further and further away every day, the other girls talk about it less. Like they've given up and honestly, Jackie's started to, too. In the mess of it all, she clings to her virginity, to give it away to anyone but the boy who cheated on her, the boy she didn't even like. Jackie just… She wants to die, she wants to lose every last scrap of herself, starting with this stupid thin layer of hymen she'd obsessed over for so long, that it turned out didn't mean anything. Then, then she'd dish it all out, let go of Shauna and be ready to fucking die already. What was the point in living any longer? Stranded out here, with no sign of rescue.
"Please have some food, for me," Shauna pleads, demands, handing her a mug of stew. She settles down beside Jackie like she always has, but now, it feels so fake. Was any of it even real? Did Shauna even like her? Her hands numbly take it, but immediately move to pour it out. But something stops her. Physically, that is. Shauna grips at her wrist, refusing to let her pour it away. The touch burns her down to her very bone, she can't help but wonder if this is how she felt against Jeff's skin. Why she'd even done it. Seriously, Jeff was nothing, his touch was nothing. What was it all for when the prize wasn't even worth it? Why ruin everything they had for him? Why ruin something that was so much more than he could ever be?
Irritated, she tries to yank her hand away from Shauna, back into her own control. But her grip only gets tighter, tight enough to leave behind fingerprints and Jackie's too fucking weak to get away. Dark eyes flicker to her, once a source of comfort, now nothing at all. Except, she could never be nothing. There's still so much emotion behind those eyes, Jackie hates it, hates that she doesn't know what those emotions are now. She was supposed to know everything about Shauna, to be there every step of her life and she'd been iced out of this one, had it stolen from her. "Eat, I'm serious," Shauna insists. Each time she tries to squirm away, Shauna's grip only grows tighter.
Jackie stares back at her, eyes dead, no lights on. She doesn't feel alive, she feels like a walking corpse on borrowed time. "I'm not hungry," she grits out. An incredulous look meets her. "That's a lie. You haven't eaten in days. Literal days, Jackie," Shauna scolds hysterically, like she's her mother, except a sick twisted opposite version of her. It takes everything in Jackie not to scoff. Not to bring up all Shauna's lies. A part of her wants to, to fight and be vicious, to see the shock on Shauna's face. But honestly, she just… Jackie's too fucking weak. She does manage an eye roll, though.
"Okay, you know what? You need to eat," Shauna grunts, primally. It's almost a relief, to see her anger, her violence. This version is easier to hate. The version that's gripping on hard enough to crush, forcing Jackie's hand, forcing the stew down her throat. There's an attempt to move her head away, but Shauna just grabs it with her other hand, making her eat. It's like she's just an animal, one being forced in place. Is this what it'd always been, their friendship? Had she imagined all that laughter and levity? Was this what was behind it all along? Jackie gags, her only defence left, but there's still only one way for it all to go. Inside her. Sliding thickly down her throat like vomit. God fucking damn it. Why won't Shauna just let her go? Let her die?
For far too long, she's left squirming and overfilling, too alive for her own good. Then, finally, when the mug is drained does Shauna let up. Panting, too much breath in her chest, Jackie wipes her face with the back of her hand. "Jax, I'm sorry, I was just--" She turns away, can't bear to look at Shauna, to even listen to her, staring out at the rest of the party. Gaze zeroing in, searching for Travis, but when she spots him, he's already walking further into the wilderness with Natalie. Too far to catch, their figures slipping away. Jackie huffs. Brown eyes blink, big and innocent, so far from the truth.
Whatever. Maybe the virginity thing wouldn't happen tonight, but she still needed to get away from Shauna. Her teeth needed a break from grinding down, holding back the truth. Without a second look, Jackie gets up and wanders towards the party.
She hangs back a little, bordering the dance floor, staring at Tai and Van together. Despite everything, despite where they are, that she doesn't even really like either of them right now and how everything's gone to shit, Jackie can't help the smile that pulls at her lips. Never in her life has she seen a couple like them, a couple made up of two girls, a couple that happy and free. Never has she seen girls that happy. They're so much more than the hissed sound of 'dyke' that awful, harsh word, they're so much more than high school and settling. It's the opposite of safety, it's dangerous, the spark between them, the way they look in each other's eyes, but it's alive. More alive than Jackie feels right now, more alive than she's felt in years.
Footsteps approach, leaves crunching. Without looking, she knows exactly who it is. Shauna. She hates the way Shauna follows her around, like a lost puppy, the way she can never just leave her alone. More than anything, Jackie hates the way she can't even convince herself that's what she wants, even after everything. All those burning bitter words that filled her journal, she doesn't understand them, how Shauna could possible trade Jackie in for Jeff. How she could sacrifice their friendship over some boy.
"They look happy, don't they?" Shauna mutters. "Yeah," Jackie sighs, defeated. The why of it all hangs over her head.
---
It's hard to remember how long JackieShauna, fused as one had been staring at Tai and Van, or when reality stared to blur around the edges. When did her hand grow so sweaty and clammy? When did it reach for Shauna? How long did they stand there, holding hands, connected as one? When did Shauna break away, to stare at the world and claw at the light? How long had Jackie been frozen in place, watching her? These are simply unknowable questions, just like the universe and the wilderness was unknowable. All Jackie knew for sure is that it had been Shauna that broke away.
Jackie hears none of their voices, feels nothing, sees nothing except Shauna, Shauna, Shauna. Shauna gasping, holding her belly, moving over to a blurry figure. Immediately, her feet carry her over, yanking Shauna away. She falls to her knees, leaning into her belly. "It… It moved," Shauna slurs. Jackie presses her ear up against it, hazy eyes moving to stare up at Shauna. There's a halo of sunlight or maybe it's hellfire around her head. She doesn't know which and doesn't care. It doesn't matter, it's Shauna, her best friend, it's always been Shauna. "Mine," Jackie pants, palming at her belly. A delirious smile pulls at her. "Mine," she repeats, insistently.
Two hands grip her shoulders, sinking down into her. "Ours," a distant voice argues. Jackie can't break her eyes away from Shauna to see who it is, can only shake her head. But, but Shauna's shaking her head back and she can't tell who she's disagreeing with. Tears fill her eyes, gripping to the fabric tighter, leaning in further. Yet, she's ripped away by the hands. Jackie falls to the floor, Lottie hovering over her, licking her lips and she's pretty sure she's about to be fucking eaten. Grunting, she rolls over, clinging to Shauna's legs, burying her face in her flesh, leg hair scratching at her face. The leg fights back, squirming to try and get her off. "Off," the familiar voice grunts. Jackie clings harder. Nails digging in. "Please," she begs, raggedly. The body throws itself behind her, joining her on the ground, teeth sinking into her skin like an animal, ripping at her flesh. A gasp escapes her, lungs still alive somehow, heart thumping.
Brown eyes stare down at her, so familiar, so curious. The hands grab her, throwing her into a circle of girls, blood dripping all over, but she barely notices anything but those eyes. Anything but Shauna looming over her, stalking closer. Two of them are grabbing her, pulling her back upright, pinning her to a tree. She can only stare at Shauna, Shauna, Shauna.
Then, she's right there, breathing against her face, so close. Their lips crash together, like an inevitability, Jackie sinking into her hold. Her lips are chaffed, rough, consuming her completely, inhaling and taking. Drinking her up like a desert mirage. Until, the teeth come in, then she's biting, eating and tearing into her, lapping up her blood. Panting, Shauna pulls away, hazy eyes staring at her, hungrily. Jackie realises now there's other teeth too, all over her, biting down everywhere, her neck, her legs, her arms, her stomach. Hands too, clawing at her, ripping apart her dress, co-ordinated like a pack. They're feeding off her and she hopes it kills her.
Then, Shauna's gaze snaps away, to someone else and Jackie whines. With relief, she watches Shauna grab her hair, she couldn't tell you who it was, only that Shauna grabs it and throws far away, taking her place between her legs. Taking her place where she'd been biting up her leg, up her thigh. Shauna paws at her underwear, white and delicate and wet, the rest of the pack swooping in to help rip it away. Her head spins, it's all happening so quickly, all of a sudden Shauna's tongue… Shauna's tongue is lapping her up, moans vibrating through her body.
Jackie's back arches, bark digging into her. It's so much… So much. So… Good. And Wrong. She glances down, those brown eyes already staring back. Oh fuck. Her hips jump, body desperate for more, even though it feels like too much. They claw at her bra, at her tits, pinching and tugging harshly. "Are you gonna… Are you gonna fucking kill me?" Jackie groans, body alight with pleasure, with more than she's ever felt in her life. No one answers her, or maybe they do, maybe she just can't hear it over the moans she lets out. She doesn't even care, because Shauna's inside her, Shauna's the one eating her, Shauna's taking her virginity. A strangled, high pitch sound erupts from the throat at the thought, bucking frantically against Shauna. Against the tongue shoving in, further and further until her hymen shatters around it, virginity well and truly taken.
Pain burns through her, somehow only making the pleasure burn brighter, moaning louder. "Shauna, Shauna, Shauna," Jackie chants, as her tongue thrusts in and out like a dick, nails digging in deep, leaving marks behind. Claimed completely and truly by Shauna. Her entire body squirms and shakes, but not to get away, to stay in place. To take in everything Shauna's giving her. Fuck, Shauna has so many hands, so many teeth, she's like that guy with all those arms, Jackie thinks, hazily. Shauna's so powerful, so all consuming, she's everywhere. She's so much better, so much more than whoever that guy was Jackie was dating, she forgets his name, now.
"Don't stop, Shauna, don't stop," she whines and begs, rewarded by Shauna's tongue moving to… Flicking at… She doesn't even know what, just that a shock of electricity jumps through her, a feral sound ripping through her vocal chords. Jackie blabbers out Shauna's name, over and over, like it's the only thing she knows how to say. Tears of relief drip down her face, quickly lapped up. It's only now she realizes how long she's been waiting. How close she is already, even though he never ever made her…
Oh my God, Shauna's going faster, leaving her shaking harder and sobbing with need. Clumsily, she grabs at one of the hands, before it's yanked away, gripped achingly tight by Shauna. It feels like it could break her bones, Jackie hopes it does. Her breath's growing short, body nothing but a ball of light, of pleasure and pain. Nerves and muscles sewn together in a pile, thumping in time with Shauna, controlled by Shauna. The rest of the world falls away, only focused on the feeling, the feeling of her tongue lashing against her, her hands all over, her teeth biting down. She remembers this one move when a sex scene cut to waves crashing up the shore, getting closer and closer, how confused she's been, how Shauna told her with a blush that it meant the woman was… You know. Jackie hadn't got it then, but she did now, she could feel it, getting closer and closer, gaining on her. She squeezes at Shauna's hand, clenching her body, trying to keep at bay, wanting to stay in this moment forever.
Hands massage at her shoulders. "Just let it in," a voice whispers in her ear, hand resting on her galloping heart. And Jackie breaks, body collapsing in on itself like star. Her vision whites out, ears ringing, head dizzy with the heady power of it. Flames lick up her flesh, blood pumping with molten lava. Voices overlap, whispering in tongues, she can't tell where it's coming from, who or what it is.
---
Jackie doesn't know when she passed out, only that when her eyes blink open, it's night. Rope gnaws at her flesh, irritating the bloody marks that already litter her skin. Something's in her mouth, something natural and from the wilderness. Eyes blurry, all she sees is Shauna, of course. Shauna surrounded by the pack, the flash of antlers somewhere. Shauna, brown eyes wild, as she holds a knife to her throat. Her spent body leans into it, letting it nip at her, fresh blood dripping, joining that which has long dried. Sweat coats her flesh, liquid heat dripping down her thighs, leaving her uncomfortable and twitching in the cool air. On all sides, she feels hungry eyes staring at her.
Her head bobs, as she nods. Shauna presses deeper, ready to…
"What the fuck are you doing?" A voice interrupts them. All of them freeze, reality crashing back in. Jackie's naked body flushes with embarrassment, swallowing back tears, uncomfortably. The combat boots storm closer, the bright shock of platinum blonde appearing into view. "What did you do to Jackie?" Natalie asks, glaring at all of them. Beside her, Travis gawks, shifting back and forth. She doesn't wait for them to answer, shoving Shauna away and untying the ropes, Jackie's body falling, caught before she can fall to the ground.
Face bright red, she pushes her face into Natalie's shoulder, carried along. Until, an obstacle stops them. "She wanted it. Tell her, Jackie," Shauna begs. Everyone stares at her, waiting. Guilt clinging to the girls with blood dripping from their maws, waiting for her to soothe it. Her mouth opens and closes, not sure what to say. In the end, Jackie doesn't say a word, hands reaching out to grab Shauna, silently, crashing into the familiar body. Shauna wraps her arms around her, tugging her away from Natalie, protecting her skin from the cold, hands stroking at her hair. The rest of them fall in line, wrapping Jackie close, protectively.
"Jesus Christ, you're all fucking insane."