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Wilson walked into House’s office, having been called to participate in a Diagnostics team meeting to give a consult. Of course, the pager message had indicated that the patient of the week might have had cancer. It would quickly become clear, however, that this was very much not the primary reason for the request. Cancer was definitely something they were considering, but Wilson knew that House was only humoring his ducklings. Plus, House never passed up an opportunity to drag the Head of Oncology away from his real work and into his space. Wilson really couldn’t be bothered to be mad about it.
As soon as he opened the door, House gave him puppy dog eyes and said in a girly voice, “Oh Dr. Wilson, wouldn’t you come over and help me out? I sure am so helpless and confused! Maybe your big brain can save me!” Apparently they were doing the dickhead in distress routine.
He rolled his eyes but played along, “Why, Dr. House, since you asked so nicely, I just might be able to find a way.”
His friend smiled, happy to be indulged, and moved from behind his desk to approach Wilson, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. In a faux whisper, he leaned a little too close to his face, “These three think I need saving, but we’ll see what you say. Maybe you’ll save me after all.” He winked.
Wilson tried to keep a smile from his own face. “House. What am I actually supposed to be saving you from? Does a dragon need vanquishing? Because you do know I have a meeting soon that I have to prepare for.”
House’s face was close enough that he could feel his breath as he said, “Oh, I don’t think I’ll have to keep you for too long, unless you need me to save you from that dreadful meeting. You know I have ways to make that happen.”
Wilson jumped a little when Cameron forced out, “Oh my god, House, you’re insufferable, incessantly flirting with everyone you talk to. It’s completely inappropriate and bordering on sexual harassment.” She rolled her eyes but her judgmental hmph sounded a bit like she was choking. Chase and Foreman giggled. Wilson had to stop himself from doing the same. Her defensiveness was a painfully awkward reminder to everyone in the room that she was harboring a not-so-secret and very unwise crush on her boss.
House, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, snapped back, “Oh no, my duckling. You are sorely mistaken. In this instance, it is completely above board. I can’t believe that you would accuse me of such a thing when Wilson and I are obviously engaged in a secret love affair. I don’t think you’ll be hearing any complaints from my precious James.” He wrapped his arm tightly around Wilson’s waist, leaned in, and looked Wilson in the eyes. Wilson stared back into House’s stunning blue eyes that always hypnotized him. He automatically melted into the soft touch, and a small smile crept onto his face. He chastised himself for doing so. He really shouldn’t have been feeding into House’s teasing of his fellows. He should have been quickly making clear that this was all just a joke. But he didn’t.
Cameron huffed, annoyed and embarrassed, and Chase laughed heartily. But Foreman—he looked almost suspicious. He did tend to have a serious expression, but Wilson could feel his doubt. Foreman knew that House was joking, but maybe he had an inkling that there was something else. He had so easily gone along with this joke, even though it was definitely pushing farther than normal. Wilson could feel himself starting to blush as House pulled away. Wilson took a step away, and said, “So, why am I here again? Seriously, House. I have to give a presentation to the board in half an hour.”
“Don’t worry, dear, you can go. The kiddos are wrong about cancer, anyway. I thought I’d let you explain it, but since you’re soooo busy, I guess I’ll let you off the hook and make them realize what idiots they are all by myself.”
“Okay, House. I really don’t have time for all of this.” His heart was still racing from embarrassment… and maybe from having House hold him so close.
“Off you go, now. Dinner tonight at my place? 7:00? I’m craving Indian.”
Wilson sighed. “Sure. I’ll bring Nawab.”
“Oh yes, you know exactly what I like.” House winked at him.
“See you then,” he said, slightly exasperated. He turned the fellows, who were looking a bit slack-jawed. “You guys have a good day,” he said, giving a slight nod of his head.
As he walked out, he kicked himself for supporting House’s stupid joke. He had a feeling that House was going to want to make this a bigger thing. If he could see the look in Foreman’s eyes, he knew that House could see worlds more behind those three’s eyes, and he probably liked what he saw. Screwing with his fellows was one of House’s favorite activities, and this new prank would be right up his alley.
Wilson hadn’t been lying about the meeting so he tried to calm himself and turn his attention to department statistics. He tried not to think about this imaginary plan, but there was a nagging voice—one which he tried desperately to push down—that actually kind of liked the idea.
Right at 7:00pm, Wilson knocked on the door of apartment 221B, and used his key to let himself in. House was, as usual, on the couch, with his bad leg propped up on the coffee table with a pillow. He had the TV playing some asinine reality show and a beer in his hand. “Did you bring my vindaloo and samosas?”
“Yep, I’ll bring everything in there. Just give me a sec,” he called back, grabbing a beer for himself from the fridge, two plates, and some napkins. Wilson sat down on the couch, consciously choosing to sit particularly far away from House. He set the food on the coffee table and started pulling things out of the to-go containers. He made their plates, despite House complaining that he could eat it out of the boxes.
“House, just shut up, I know your couch is already stained to hell but there’s no need for you to get a bunch of curry stains all over it too. Just take the plate.”
They ate next to each other for a bit, just watching the TV. House made Wilson grab them two more beers, which Wilson drank quickly, trying to quell his nerves. He was mostly calm, but he was worried that House would bring up his silly prank. They continued to eat, the comfortable silence only broken for House to berate the show participants every once in while.
Wilson had finally relaxed, believing that maybe the conversation wasn’t coming, that House had gotten it out of his system. But he knew House too well—he wasn’t going to give up on a perfect opportunity like this.
During a commercial break, long after they’d finished their food and beer, House over, mischievously. “I really want to get into the ducklings' heads some more.”
While he was certain he knew exactly what that meant, Wilson feigned ignorance. “What do you mean, House?”
“I want to see if I can split them on this. Whether or not we’re secretly dating. Foreman already thinks we might be. And Cameron, of course, won’t want to believe it because she wants to fuck me so bad.”
“Oh god, House, that’s a cruel joke to play on her.”
“Oh, not just on her. I want to see what all of them do. Chase is too stupid to have an opinion yet. I want to see where he’ll come down.”
“House,” Wilson started, disapprovingly.
“You know it’ll be fun. I wonder how long it’ll take them to start taking bets.”
“House, I’m not pretending to secretly date you,” Wilson said, rolling his eyes. “It’s silly and childish.”
“What, are you just worried about what the nurses would say? Don’t want them thinking you’re a sissy?”
“House! That’s ridiculous. I don’t think anyone would believe it, anyways.”
“Oh you know that’s not true. I’ve already planted the seeds of doubt. Foreman is probably already looking back for clues. And you know there are a lot.” House laughed.
Wilson’s heart rate was skyrocketing. “What would you even want us to do to convince them?”
“Well, we obviously couldn’t show up tomorrow making out in front of them. That would be too obvious.”
“So, what? You think I’m going to do the long con with you?” Wilson’s head was swimming with ideas he did not want there.
“Maybe more like a medium con,” House said. “Definitely start dropping more hints in front of them. And I’m certain that I could orchestrate them walking in on us in a compromising position to make them think they’ve caught us.”
“Wha- what are you suggesting?!” Now his brain was really going into overdrive.
House smirked, “What do you think I was suggesting? Having some dirty ideas in there? I just meant something like this.” He stood up and got between Wilson’s legs, leaning over him, with his arms on the back of the couch. He leaned in, so his face was right in front of Wilson’s. “I think something like this would be good enough to amp up the suspicion.”
Wilson was not a religious man, but at that moment, he said a prayer for House to not notice that his pants had started fitting a bit tighter. His face was hot. “Whatever, House, this sounds like a bad idea to me.”
House removed himself from between Wilson’s legs, and sat back down, a bit closer this time. “I know you’ll do it. You love causing drama.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“That you’ll do it or that you love drama?”
Wilson paused for a second. “That I love causing drama.”
House chuckled. “Hm, I don’t know. I think you do. But I’m glad that you’ll go along with my plan.” He smiled, and Wilson melted a bit. “So now on to the planning stage. What do you think are some reasonable things to do to make them suspicious but not make it look like we’re trying to trick them?”
Wilson took a deep breath in. “Well… I think you’re right that if you can orchestrate them walking into my office with you there… if they really don’t think we know they’ll be coming in. That seems like it would be convincing. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but I’m sure you can.”
“Yeah, that does seem good but that seems like it should be in a few days. Don’t want it to be too quick. What about before that? Smaller things?”
Wilson was trying very hard to keep his voice steady. He was partially grateful for the alcohol, but also, maybe if he hadn’t had anything to drink, he would have been smarter and cut this off. “I think that small touches will be important. Just setting a hand somewhere for a little too long. On the upper arm or back.” He looked at House. “Maybe… just making more eye contact?”
House lay his hand on Wilson’s upper arm lightly and looked deeply into Wilson’s eyes. “I think that’ll work.” Wilson blushed again. “Oh, and you should definitely keep up the blushing. It’ll really help it.” That made him blush even harder.
“Anything you think we need to do?” Wilson asked.
“Hm. Well you need to make sure you touch me too. They’ll get suspicious if I’m the only one initiating. They’ll think I’m just forcing myself on you.”
“Well isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“Oh no, no, no, my darling, I think you like this.” House laughed again. It occurred to Wilson that House may have had a couple of beers before I got there too. He sure was laughing a lot tonight.
The tv show had come back on long ago, and Wilson tried to just start watching that. He waited a bit, so as not to seem suspicious, but then left as quickly as he could. “I need to get to work really early tomorrow so I should leave so I can get some rest,” he said, as he got up to leave. It wasn’t entirely a lie. He did really need the rest. House didn’t seem to question this.
At home, Wilson got into the shower, and quickly jerked off, thinking about the feeling of House between his legs, and imagining a lot more than what had happened. He went to sleep feeling ashamed of himself. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d ever done that, but he tried to keep those thoughts from his mind. He fell asleep thinking about what the next few days would hold.
The next day, he was very busy and didn’t see House until lunch, when he stopped by his office to walk with him to the cafeteria. House was in there with his fellows. He opened the door, and said, “Lunch?”
House turned to him and smiled a little. “Foreman, you order the bloodwork, Cameron and Chase, go do the LP.” He walked toward Wilson and said, “You’re paying.”
“Yeah, I know,” Wilson sighed. He held the door open for House, and they stepped out. All three of the fellows were looking at them. Wilson tried not to make eye contact with them. As they walked out, House lightly and quickly put his hand on Wilson’s lower back. Besides that, they just kept walking. House didn’t even say anything about it. The rest of the day went by normally, and Wilson was too busy to see House or his fellows. At the end of the day, he was both relieved and disappointed. He really did have a lot of work to do and stayed late at the hospital.
The next day, he had several cancellations, and he decided to stop by House’s office. When he got there, the fellows were out and House was sitting at his desk.
“You should come sit on my desk. They should be back any minute.” House said to him, beckoning him over.
Wilson decided to humor him. He came over and leaned against House’s desk, half-sitting on the edge. House was leaning back in his chair, a little back from the desk, with his legs spread, and Wilson had his legs between them. They weren’t so close that they were touching, but they were close enough to make him a little self-conscious about the fellows walking in on them like this. House started telling him about the various ways in which his fellows had been imbeciles that day. Wilson laughed while House complained, and he started to ease into where they were, not thinking about how it might look.
About ten minutes later, the fellows walked in arguing about the patient. When they walked in, Chase and Cameron continued arguing, but Foreman stopped and stared. House started talking rapidfire to them about the patient, questioning them on what new information they had. While he talked, he set his hand on Wilson’s knee and pushed himself up. He acted like his leg was hurting him worse and popped a Vicodin. Wilson moved away from the desk, toward the door, and he could see Foreman’s quirked brow. He could tell that the other two had noticed that small gesture as well. The fellows seemed to have a hard time pulling their attention back to House’s demands. Wilson interrupted quickly and said, “Tonight, want to go out to eat? Antonio’s at 7:00?”
House affirmed, and Wilson went on his way. He enjoyed this little game, perhaps too much. He was anticipating when House decided to put on their little show and have his ducklings walk in on them. That afternoon, he actually stumbled upon Foreman, Cameron, and Chase taking a break, arguing about him and House.
“I know he loves screwing with us, but I don’t know, it seems too real,” Foreman said.
Cameron scoffed, “No, there’s no way that House is gay. That’s ridiculous, they’re pulling one of their pranks. You know it’s all calculated.”
“Cameron, everyone knows you just want to fuck him, so your opinion is invalid. Of course, you don’t want to believe that it could be true,” Chase says, with a bit more bite than necessary.
“Ugh! That is not true! I just think he’s messing with us.”
“It just seems too natural to me. I mean did you see Wilson on Tuesday when House said they were dating? It didn’t look like it was planned, and Wilson really looked love-struck,” Foreman said. Wilson was standing around the corner, and this comment caused his face to burn. As much as he wanted to get away, he decided that he should probably stay so that he could bring back any important info to House.
“Well,” Chase started, “maybe House is pulling a prank, and he doesn’t know that Wilson is actually in love with him.”
“Okay, well maybe I could see that ,” Cameron said snarkily. Wilson felt like his heart dropped out. “But, I still think he’s just fucking with us.”
“Maybe…” Foreman seemed to be thinking. “Well I have a plan. Someone needs to go to Antonio’s tonight and watch them. But you need to be careful and make sure they don’t spot you.”
Later, Wilson swung by House’s office. “Are they coming back soon?”
“Why? You wanna have an excuse to cuddle up to me?” House smirked.
“No, I heard them talking earlier.”
“They’re all busy bees. They have lots of shit to be doing today. So what were those little rascals tittering on about?”
“Well… They’re planning to send someone to Antonio’s to stalk us. They’re really fighting about it.”
“Well I guess we’ll have to put on a show for them,” House winked at Wilson. “So, I already know what Foreman and Cameron think, obviously, but what about Chase?”
“You don’t know what Foreman and Cameron think.”
House gave me a look that said ‘of course I do.’
“Okay, yeah, you’re right. Foreman is pretty convinced, and Cameron keeps saying there’s no way you’re gay and that you’re just messing with them, and they said she was just mad because she wanted to get in your pants.”
“Okay so, obviously, I nailed that. But what about Chase?”
Wilson’s breath hitched. He couldn’t tell House what Chase thought. “Um, he seemed undecided.”
“Oh come on, you must have been able to tell which way he was leaning.”
“Well, I didn’t listen for that long, and they’re your fellows, I can’t read them as well as you can.”
“Hmph, okay. Well, I guess we’re going to Antonio’s tonight.”
“That’ll be nice. I haven’t eaten there in ages.”
“And god will it be fun to watch out for the ducklings. We have to be careful to not let them know we’ve seen them. I should face the door.”
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at 6:40. I can also call and put in a reservation.”
When House got into the car, he was still in his band tee with an open button down. ‘He probably should have put on something nicer,’ Wilson thought to himself. He was honestly glad he didn’t have his blazer because somehow he looked less put together with it on. “House, this is a nice restaurant, you can’t wear a t-shirt.”
“Ah, it’s too late now.”
“Well, you can take off the t-shirt and button the shirt?” he suggested.
House thought for a second. “I guess it might be more convincing.”
Wilson actually thought it would be less convincing because House would probably never do that for a partner, but he would certainly do it for a prank. But he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity for House to take his shirt off and also to be able to have dinner with him where he actually looked decent.
House unbuckled and took his shirt and t-shirt off. Wilson tried not to stare, but was looking at him in the rearview mirror. He also pretended to look at the right-hand side mirror several times. He couldn’t tell if House noticed or not.
By the time they got to the restaurant, House had buttoned up his shirt, which was still crumpled but at least it was better than before. Before they got out of the car, House said, “Not sure if they’ll get here before or after they think we’re getting here. You really should have stayed and listened longer.”
“I had work to do, House.”
“My guess is that they’ll show up here beforehand and wait outside. So we need to make sure we’re convincing in the parking lot. And there’s less need to be subtle.”
Wilson sighed and rolled his eyes, “I don’t really want everyone at the restaurant to really think we’re gay.”
“Chicken,” said House, mockingly.
“Well, I’ll show you. Wait there.” Wilson got out of the car and came around the passenger side. He opened the door for House.
“I’m not a complete cripple!”
“You sure do change that depending on whether or not it suits you,” Wilson snarked as he grabbed House’s cane, and held his hand out for House to grab to get out of the car. House obliged, holding onto his hand for a little long after he stood up. Wilson gave him his cane, and as they walked to the door, Wilson walked right up against him with his hand on House’s lower back.
House was subtly looking around for Chase, Cameron, or Foreman, and Wilson was supposed to be looking too, but he got distracted by the feeling of his hand on House’s back. It felt so real. He was having a hard time remembering that this was just a prank, just a joke to sow chaos in the House of House.
House continued to chatter on about nonsense, and Wilson tried to pay attention. They walked in and were seated. As they sat across from each other at the nice table, House said, “All three of them are here. They are dreadful at not sticking out like sore thumbs. They’re a few tables over. Don’t look. We can’t let them know that we know they’re here.” House was looking into Wilson’s eyes.
They ordered a nice bottle of wine and continued to just chat. Wilson also began to notice that they really didn’t need to change how they generally interacted. He naturally looked at House a lot and laughed, and House always stole things off his plate. They just had a nice dinner, and Wilson tried not to worry too much about the fellows being there and watching. They had a lovely meal, and there was a bit of time where House had just set his hand on his, and he rubbed his thumb across the back of his hand. They ordered dessert and shared a tiramisu.
When they were done, they left, and got into the car. House laughed as they drove away. “We definitely put on a nice show. They were watching us the whole time. I think Chase is convinced but Cameron is still indignant. I think on Monday, we should orchestrate our special performance, where they walk in on us.”
“Haha, okay,” Wilson said. “So when do we tell them? Like, when is this over?”
“I’m not sure. We’ll see how they react on Monday.” Wilson felt very disappointed. Would this all end on Monday? Maybe he needed to make the most of that moment, then.
“Okay, would you like to watch a movie?”
“Fuck yeah, let’s watch Catwoman. Halle Berry could do anything she wanted to me in that outfit.”
“Sounds good.”
When they got back to House’s apartment, they went inside, and House lay down on the couch.
“Want anything to drink?” Wilson asked from the kitchen. They’d each had two glasses of wine at the restaurant, but Wilson wanted more to get through the night.
“What do you think?” House said snarkily.
“Of course. Will scotch do?”
“You always know what I want.”
“That’s true.” Wilson came into the living room holding two glasses of scotch. He sat down next to House, trying to find a normal distance from him on the couch. He turned on the movie and settled in to listen to House’s incessant commentary.
About an hour and two glasses of scotch into the movie, House started twitching uncomfortably. He pulled his leg down from the coffee table.
“Are you okay?” Wilson knew he wasn’t okay. He only did this when he was starting to have a charley horse. Without waiting for an answer, he hopped up and found a heating pad. House was already taking a Vicodin which was good, because this was actually what they were for . Wilson came over and after the slightest moment’s hesitation, he reached down to unbuckle House’s pants and slide them off. He needed easy access to the muscle.
“I bet you like this, pretty boy,” House growled, through gritted teeth.
“I’m not even sure what you mean by that.”
He plugged in the heating pad, and he got on his knees. He began working his hands into the damaged mess that was House’s thigh. He groaned loudly.
“Well, there are lots of options for that, I think.” When Wilson ignored this, he continued. “Pulling my pants off for one. Being on your knees in front of me is another. Or maybe you’re just a sadistic bastard. We all know you have a savior complex. You like me being helpless.” Wilson had in fact noticed the compromising position he found himself in and kind of wished something else could happen. But right now, there was a task at hand.
Once the pad was hot he wrapped it around his thigh. House was groaning louder from the relief of the feeling. The muscle spasm was passing.
“House, I think you’re letting this prank go to your head.”
Now that Wilson wasn’t quite so concerned, thoughts raced through his head and he could feel himself straining against his underwear. He was also rubbing House’s thigh along with the heating pad, and through House’s thin boxers, Wilson could see that he had an erection as well. This made him even harder, which he felt ashamed about because House’s arousal was obviously just from the relief of the pain and Catwoman’s entirely overly fetishistic leather suit on the screen. Even after the spasm had passed, Wilson stayed on the ground, massaging the undoubtedly sore muscles. He also couldn’t get up and let House see his erection, but it wasn’t getting any better. If anything it was worse now, as he tried to tear his eyes away from his best friend’s boxers. ‘Ugh, maybe I am a sick bastard.’
House had closed his eyes and was breathing softly. Wilson got up and went to the bathroom. He stood in front of the toilet willing his erection to go down so he could pee. Finally, it worked, and he washed his hands and opened the bathroom door. He sat back down on the couch next to House, who looked over at him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. You know I’m always here for you, House.”
He was obviously falling asleep, probably from a combination of the alcohol, the pills, and the pain. Wilson pulled him up and helped him get to bed. He’d come back for the cane. “You’re probably going to piss yourself tonight.”
“Aw, who cares.”
After Wilson had set him on the bed and made sure he was actually situated and had set his cane beside his bed, he left.
That night, he also got home and jerked himself off, feeling even worse this time.
They didn’t spend any more time together that weekend, but Wilson spent a good portion of his time thinking about House. He was, after many years of repression, having to face his feelings for his best friend. They’d known each other for a decade, and they had always been there for each other. He couldn’t throw all of that away because he had these stupid feelings. First of all, House couldn’t do romantic relationships. They didn’t work. And then, of course, there was the obvious issue that House didn’t view him like that.
He wasn’t even sure exactly what it was that he felt for House. He obviously loved him, but does that mean he wanted a relationship with him? He didn’t want their dynamic to change. Well for the most part. He did want to add more of this intoxicating touching that House had been giving him recently for this idiotic prank.
Monday morning, Wilson showed up to work feeling rather wound up. He went through his day. House knew his schedule, so he assumed that he would show up when he had a break in the afternoon. Around 2:00pm, Wilson was starting to get antsy when House showed up.
“They should be here soon.”
“Well hello, then. How do you know?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it all set up. They won’t think that I know they’re coming.”
Wilson sighed. “I don’t really get what you mean or how you could know that, but I guess I’ve learned to stop questioning you too much.”
“You’re not a very quick learner if it’s taken you this long,” House smirked. He walked around behind Wilson’s desk, leaning up over him. Wilson’s face was bright red with House’s legs between his and pressed against his thighs, as well as his arms around him. House was looking into his eyes. “Trying to decide if we should take this a bit farther to make it more convincing.”
Wilson raised his eyebrows. “Meaning?”
House heard the sounds of his fellows running down the hall, so he leaned in and kissed Wilson right on the mouth. He put his hand on his jaw, tilting his face up to meet him. Wilson’s lips melted into his, softly opening for the kiss.
The door burst open. “Wilson, sorry, it’s an emergen—”
Wilson and House broke apart abruptly, Wilson jumping out of his chair and angrily saying to them, “Do not bust in here without knocking. That’s incredibly rude and inconsiderate.” His face was bright red. While he was partially acting for the show, he was also reacting instinctively. He wished they hadn’t burst in.
Cameron, Chase, and Foreman were stunned. “I’m so sorry!” they all said, running out and shutting the door behind them.
Wilson stood at the door, listening. Chase said, “Well what do we do? We need him!”
“We just go in there, you must know this is all a set-up. We didn’t really interrupt anything. It was all planned.”
“You seriously think that’s a prank, Cameron? They were passionately kissing. That’s pushing it for a prank, even for them,” Foreman said to her.
She scoffed. “Okay, I don’t know. But we need him! Our patient is dying!”
House opened the door. “No, he’s not. He’s fine. He has Echinococcosis. I just wanted to see if you could figure it out. And if you’re here, then you obviously didn’t. Go run off and give him antiparasitics.”
All three, stunned once again, stared at him. “Are you crazy ?!” Cameron nearly shouted. “God, you are so insane! Letting him think he’s dying just to make us look stupid!” She stormed off, and the boys followed.
House turned around and looked at Wilson. “That really was bad, House. You shouldn’t have let them think that if you already knew. You’re just making them suffer; the fellows and the patient and his family. Just for a silly prank.”
“Well, I think we might have finally convinced them,” House replied, smiling and looking very smug.
Wilson honestly couldn’t look at him. The combination of what he did to that poor man, the prank that was now bordering on gaslighting, and the psychological torture that he was subjecting him to as well. It was all just too much. Not to mention that his lips were still burning from the unexpected kiss.
“You need to go.”
“Wh—?”
“I have work to do.”
“That’s not true.”
“Maybe it’s not. But I need you gone.”
He opened the door and saw House out, who looked confused and ashamed, like a puppy with its tail between its legs because it’d been yelled at.
He just needed some time to think. That night, instead of calling House, he went home and he cried.
Tuesday, he avoided House all day. He went about his daily routines. He did his rounds and then had his outpatient appointments. He was grateful for his unusually packed day. He eventually was able to wrap up and leave work without having interacted with House all day. He didn’t care what the fellows were thinking.
That night, he went home and decided to make himself dinner. While he ate takeout a lot with House, he actually did like to cook, although he wasn’t especially creative. As he finished his dinner and was washing the dishes, there was a knock on the door. He hoped it wasn’t who he thought it was.
He opened the door. “You avoided me all day,” House said as he walked in.
Wilson just looked at him, still angry.
“Oh come on, Wilson, are you really mad that I tricked my fellows? I do that all the time.”
“It’s not that you tricked your fellows, it’s that you let that man think he was dying.”
“He was in perfectly stable condition, and it’s not like I’ve never done that before. I don’t think it’s about that.”
Wilson groaned frustratedly. “Ugh! I just—it’s horrible what you did.”
House looked at him, thinking. “Are you sure this is about that? You can’t possibly be surprised about that at this point. I’ve done much worse shit before, and you know it.” He walked a bit closer to Wilson.
“Ugh! House, I’m allowed to not want to talk to you, and now you come over and try to force me to.”
“You could have told me not to come in.”
“You stormed in before I could even say anything!”
Wilson was leaning against the counter, on the opposite side of the kitchen. House walked over, right in front of him, his cane set next to Wilson’s leg, seeming to trap him. House gave him a look, and he looked down and away. He couldn’t handle this. He needed House to get away from him. He was so upset and frustrated and angry and hurt and ashamed and… overwhelmed.
“What is this about?”
Wilson shut his eyes tightly. “You just do whatever you want. You don’t care if you lie and just try to trick people and…” He sighed.
“None of this is news.” House was looking at him so intensely. “Is this about something else?”
“God, House, just let me be mad. Just let sleeping dogs lie.”
House scoffed. “I’m pretty well known for waking them.” He kept staring at him. “So what are the dogs, James?”
“Oh, don’t you ‘James’ me.”
House said nothing.
Wilson broke away from him. “This stupid prank. It’s cruel.”
House raised his eyebrows. “To who?”
He practically begged him to just understand and not make him confront this. “Oh god, House. Are you going to make me say this?”
He cornered Wilson again, this time getting even closer, with his cane on one side and his arm on the counter on the other side. “Yes.”
Wilson looked straight in his eyes. “Me. It’s cruel to me. At this point, I can’t tell who you’re playing with: your fellows or me . With all of this, you’re just killing me. I don’t know why you’re doing this. Are you still just standing here trapping me to torture me?”
“No.” House continued to look at him. “You know, Wilson, I thought you were smarter than this.”
“What?”
“You think I’m doing this just to torture you? As much as I like messing with you, that’s not my aim this time.”
Wilson froze, his heart racing. “Well then what is your aim?”
House looked up with a fake-pensive look. “Why would I possibly be devising a crazy scheme like this? What could possibly be my goal in pretending to be in a relationship with you so that I could touch you and kiss you? Well, I don’t know, it’s impossible to guess.”
“Are– are you saying…?”
“That I devised a scheme to kiss you so that I could kiss you? You really are Watson, my dear. Not too quick-witted, are you?”
Wilson laughed. “House if you’re screwing with him at this point, I’m never speaking to you again. I swear to God, Gregory House. If you think this is funny, I will kill you.”
“Oh, I can show you how much I’m not kidding,” he said, as he pushed close to Wilson, their bodies touching. He set his cane against the counter, and set his hand on Wilson’s arm.
His breathing hitched. “Are you telling me you knew that I– I–?”
“Wanted me? Oh yes, I was quite aware.”
Wilson laughed, “Oh god, you are a sadist. Just like with that man, you knew, and you tortured me.”
“Oh no, it wasn’t that. After all of these years, I do, in fact, know you, and I knew how to get what I wanted.”
Wilson laughed again. “Oh my god, you’re insane.”
“You know you like it,” House winked at him.
House leaned in to kiss him, and Wilson closed his eyes and met House’s lips. It felt so wonderful. But fear shot through him. He pulled back. “But House, what are we doing? What will happen? How will this possibly work?”
“Well the ducklings all already think we’re dating, so what does it matter?”
Wilson laughed. Pandora’s box was open. Whatever was going to happen would happen. At least for tonight, he would let go and enjoy it, at least this once.