Chapter Text
“Er-gege, it’s too tight!”
Lan Zhan stops pulling off Wei Ying’s underwear to look up at him, his face totally placid. Fuck, Wei Ying always gets really hot and bothered whenever Lan Zhan is sassy with him. He has to bite down on a giggle of anticipation; if he ruins his pout, the jig will be up.
“Lan-er-gege, please,” Wei Ying whines, pushing his bottom lip out further.
He struggles half-heartedly against the rope that’s tying him to the headboard, giving up after only a few kitten-weak tugs. Lan Zhan continues to stare expressionlessly at him, but he also pulls the underwear the rest of the way down Wei Ying’s legs, dutifully dropping them over the side of the bed, and crawls up to check on the restraints. He has to hover directly over Wei Ying in order to do it, bracketing Wei Ying’s now naked hips with his own still-clothed legs.
Wei Ying very cleverly decides to use this opportunity to sit up slightly and bury his face into the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck, trying to dig in deep enough to sniff obnoxiously at his skin. He squishes in really close, the tips of Lan Zhan’s short hair brushing softly against his face, and takes a gigantic breath. He gets a nice, big hit of that sandalwood-scented old lady soap that Lan Zhan uses and sighs contentedly.
Lan Zhan is such a fucking weirdo. Wei Ying is obsessed with him.
Lan Zhan, who has long-since gotten used to Wei Ying sticking his nose right into his neck and sniffing it anytime he’s given even half a chance, doesn’t react in the slightest. He just ignores Wei Ying’s snuffling and keeps checking the ropes out. The bastard.
Well, if Lan Zhan isn’t going to do anything about it, then Wei Ying will just keep right on sniffing him. He ignores the way that sitting up in this position pulls his arms up and back awkwardly, and makes it a point to nuzzle even deeper into Lan Zhan’s neck, making each inhale even more obnoxiously loud than the last. Lan Zhan indulges him for a while, but eventually he turns his head slightly and delivers a sharp-ass bite to Wei Ying’s ear, causing him to yelp out in pain.
Uh-oh! Lan Zhan’s pissed. Wei Ying should be rejoicing, because technically pissing Lan Zhan off is part of his Big Plan, but the thing is, Lan Zhan won’t fucking let go of his ear! And even though he isn’t biting down full-force or anything, it still hurts! Which he is one-hundred-percent sure Lan Zhan is aware of!!
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying yells, trying to free himself from the teeth-prison without ripping off a chunk of his own ear in the process.
Just as Wei Ying is considering kneeing him in the dick, Lan Zhan finally releases his ear and pulls back, allowing Wei Ying to flop back down onto the mattress. He looks down at Wei Ying and bitchily cocks one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. Wei Ying frowns up at him with watery eyes. They stare at each other for a moment, before Lan Zhan reaches out and taps lightly at the ropes tying Wei Ying’s wrists together.
“What’s wrong?”
“‘What’s wrong?’” Wei Ying repeats. “What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’?! I already told you, didn’t I? You tied it too tight. And now you’re even biting me about it!”
Lan Zhan narrows his eyes at him. It’s an understandable reaction; the rope definitely isn’t too tight and there’s no way that he hadn’t noticed that during his little inspection. He’s likely already figured out that Wei Ying is just messing with him and wants him to knock it off.
Well, that’s just too damn bad! Wei Ying’s in the mood to bully him, so Lan Zhan is just going to have to deal.
But Lan Zhan clearly has other ideas. He narrows his eyes further and asks, “Color?”
Ugh, damn him! Trying to force the truth out of Wei Ying!
“Ugh, green!” Wei Ying huffs. “But it’s still too tight.”
Then he hauls his legs up to lightly knee Lan Zhan in the ass in protest. Lan Zhan’s face would make it seem like he isn’t amused by the small temper tantrum, but Wei Ying knows better; he can see the way that Lan Zhan’s ears are starting to pink up.
Oh yeah. It’s all coming together now.
Lan Zhan frowns, but he loosens the ropes anyway, keeping a wary eye on Wei Ying the whole time. Hah! As if that’ll help. All of his knowledge about Wei Ying’s typical shenanigans won’t save him if he still gives in every time anyway, which he does. Just like Wei Ying knows he always will. What a sucker!!
Once the ropes are loosened, Lan Zhan pushes his ass back against Wei Ying’s knees, forcing his legs back down onto the bed. Then he sits solidly on top of them.
“Better?”
Wei Ying immediately softens and smiles beatifically up at him. “Much! Thank you, Er-gege.”
Lan Zhan huffs, but he gets back up onto his hands and knees so that he can lean down to kiss Wei Ying.
Wei Ying’s smile widens. Perfect.
Lan Zhan gives him one quick, chaste kiss, then nips at his bottom lip. Wei Ying obediently opens his mouth and lets Lan Zhan deepen the kiss, lulling him into a false sense of security. As soon as Lan Zhan starts to lose his rhythm, Wei Ying attacks.
Still kissing, he wraps his legs firmly around Lan Zhan’s waist like an iron vise and pulls his wrists out from the now too-loose rope, freeing them up to wrap around Lan Zhan’s shoulders and hold him tight.
“What—?” Lan Zhan pulls away to ask, only to find himself quickly pushed over onto his back.
Wei Ying wastes no time pinning Lan Zhan’s wrists up above his head and stacks his bony knees directly on top of Lan Zhan’s hips. He smiles down triumphantly, while Lan Zhan just stares back up at him with a bored expression.
“Why?” he sighs.
It’s a fair question. Why did Wei Ying insist on having Lan Zhan tie him up earlier, if he was just going to try and find a way to wriggle out of it? Easy! It’s because Lan Zhan gets really annoyed whenever Wei Ying acts like a brat, and whenever Wei Ying starts annoying Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan gets really, really horny. And making Lan Zhan super horny is the main part of Wei Ying’s masterplan.
Despite the air of boredom that Lan Zhan is currently affecting, Wei Ying can tell that his plan is already going swimmingly. He looks down pointedly to where Lan Zhan’s dick is already straining in his pants.
Then he smiles and leans in to whisper in Lan Zhan’s ear: “Lan Zhan, do you like it when I pin you down like this?”
He doesn’t, and he knows that Wei Ying knows he doesn’t. Suddenly, his bored expression drops and he starts to push back on Wei Ying’s hold. Despite the skinny appearance his nerdy clothes give him, Lan Zhan’s muscles are actually quite toned and he’s surprisingly strong. Still, Wei Ying isn’t the star midfielder on their university’s soccer team for nothing; he can hold his own against Lan Zhan any day, if he actually wants to.
Like right now. Right now, Wei Ying actually wants to. That brings them pretty much immediately to a stalemate; Lan Zhan can’t manage to flip their positions, but Wei Ying can’t really hold him down very well either. They end up scooting around in a counter-clockwise half circle, so that they’re sprawled sideways on the bed with their asses facing the door. They’ve officially knocked all of the pillows off Lan Zhan’s perfectly made bed, and even caused the duvet to slip most of the way off the mattress.
“Ha ha, Lan Zhan! Look at what you’ve done,” Wei Ying teased. “You’ve gone and made a mess of your pretty bedroom! And it was so nicely made up, too.”
Lan Zhan huffs and gives him a pointed look. “It was going to get messed up anyway.”
“Hmmm? What do you mean by that?” Wei Ying teases, as though he isn’t the one who’s already naked.
Lan Zhan gives up struggling in favor of just glaring at him, so Wei Ying decides to throw him a bone. Kind of. He does release one of his hands from where he has Lan Zhan pinned down at the wrists, but before Lan Zhan can even react, Wei Ying sneaks it down to paw at his crotch.
He’s already rock hard. Wei Ying actually throws his head back to cackle at that.
That’s when it finally clicks, apparently. Lan Zhan’s eyes widen, a genuine expression of surprise flitting across his face.
“You—” he cuts off again, distracted by the way that Wei Ying is palming his boner through his pants.
“Me,” Wei Ying smiles.
Lan Zhan’s hips buck subconsciously into Wei Ying’s grip, but he still bites back his groan, trying to maintain his façade of calm at all costs.
“It’s not going to work.”
“Oh, but I think it is,” Wei Ying argues, pushing down even harder with a devilish grin.
Lan Zhan’s dick twitches.
Wei Ying laughs all over again, bending over at the waist to sing directly into Lan Zhan’s ear, “Uh-oh, Lan Zhan! Look who’s in trouble now.”
Suddenly, the heavy bass that’s been pounding through the halls of the party downstairs spills into the room, drowning out everything else. With his bare-naked ass still up in the air and facing proudly toward the door, Wei Ying whips his head around, his half-undone ponytail flying back around a half-second later to smack him in the face. He blows the stray strands out of his eyes and, to his complete and utter horror, he finds that the door is being flung open and someone is starting to poke their head in.
“Hey, Lan Zhan? Sorry, I don’t think you heard me knocking but your brother’s her—” Nie Huaisang cuts himself off, his eyes practically popping out of his skull as soon as he gets a good look into the room.
He stares at Wei Ying, mouth agape.
Wei Ying stares back at him, his mouth agape.
They both start screaming at the exact same time.
Lan Zhan’s bedroom immediately devolves into chaos. Wei Ying is scrambling off the bed, flinging the covers and the pillows and his discarded clothes all over the place to try and find something to cover himself up with. Meanwhile, Nie Huaisang is clutching his own chest whilst hanging onto the door frame with all of his (minimal) might, trying his level best not to fall into a dead faint right then and there.
It only gets worse from that point. Someone must’ve been near the stairs and heard all of the screaming, because another voice sounds out with, “Woah, what’s going on? Are you o—OHH SHIT!!”
There’s a scrambling noise, and by the time that Wei Ying turns around and looks up, whoever it was has already run away.
Well, shit! Wei Ying’s plan sure has gone tits up real fast!! Which is shocking, actually, because it had been foolproof…
(Ugh, foolproof except for the fact that he’d forgotten to take into account how distracted the normally-meticulous Lan Zhan becomes whenever he’s horny. Fuck. Fine, Wei Ying maybe should’ve anticipated that Lan Zhan might forget to lock his bedroom door in the heat of the moment!)
Lan Zhan is the first to recover from the shock, which is easy for him to do since he still has all of his clothes on. (Another key part of the plan that was supposed to work in Wei Ying’s favor! Where did it all go wrong?!) He wastes no time in glaring at the other two people in the room, annoyed that neither of them have stopped screaming yet.
Nie Huaisang, who’s always been pretty intimidated by Lan Zhan, cowers under his glare and immediately ceases to yell, but he doesn’t shut up entirely. He trades in the shrieking for mumbling to himself in a panic.
“Oh god, I wasn’t meant to see that kind of thing. Why the fuck—?!”
He stares blankly at the carpet like it might somehow provide him with an answer. When it fails to, he closes his eyes as though he’s in pain.
“Yeah, you sure as shit weren’t supposed to have seen that!” Wei Ying shrieks at him, having finally managed to pick up a pillow and place it firmly in front of his dick. “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!”
Lan Zhan is also doubling down on Nie Huaisang, his glaring intensifying.
“Shut. The. Door,” he says through a clenched jaw, his voice colder than frost.
Nie Huaisang clearly isn’t listening to either of them, though. He’s too busy cowering and covering his eyes, crying out over and over again, “I just don’t understand! You two—?! Since when?! How did this even happen?”
Well… in a way, it kind of happened because of Mianmian.
The first time Wei Ying saw her was near the locker rooms after soccer practice. She was standing with the team manager and his other assistants, helping them dump all of the laundry hampers with the players’ sweaty towels and practice uniforms into one giant bin.
They were easy to spot due to their bright white-and-blue uniforms. The colors were fetching enough, but the cuts of the unisex, short-sleeve polo shirts and sweatpants were less than flattering. Even still: Mianmian’s long, shiny hair and cute button nose immediately drew Wei Ying’s eye.
Eventually, she and the other assistants began wheeling the giant bin down the hall to take them for washing.
“Anyway, I convinced my professor to give me an extension on the essay,” Mianmian told her coworkers, pushing along the bin of smelly fabric. “Which is a relief, because with all of my other homework, I definitely wasn’t going to have time to get that one finished tonight!”
Hmm. Well, that was as good an entrance into the conversation as any that he could hope for! Wei Ying gave his reflection in one of the windows a once-over. Admittedly, he didn’t look his best at that moment; his sopping-wet hair was pulled into a too-tight bun, and he was wearing his worn-down, after-practice joggers and t-shirt. But!! He had just finished a quick shower, so he at least had the fact that he smelled good going for him. He jogged over to the crew.
“Hey!” he called out, waving jovially. “Are you in a hurry? I can help you out.”
They all stopped and turned to look at him, expressions ranging from surprised to skeptical.
“You want to help?” one of the women asked, her voice a little wary.
Wei Ying brushed it off. Most of his teammates were assholes, so he was sure that they weren’t used to the players treating them like anything other than personal servants. Their ire probably wasn’t directed at him, personally.
“Yeah!” he replied, his grin bright. “Surely you don’t want to push that big thing all by yourselves? It looks heavy.”
Mianmian shook her head and turned back around. “Thanks, but we’ve got it, actually.”
Another assistant, some skinny little guy, disagreed. “I mean, it is heavy. Maybe we should just let him push it.”
Wei Ying laughed and put his hands up, shaking his head lightly. “Hey now! I offered to help out. I didn’t say that I’d do it for you.”
“It’s alright. We’ve got it, really,” Mianmian reiterated.
Wei Ying shrugged and flashed them all a smile. “Fine, fine. If you insist.”
He turned to walk away, but the guy’s voice from earlier slowed him down a bit.
“Aw, come on Mianmian. Just let him do most of the heavy lifting so that we can get this over with.”
“Now now, don’t bother Mianmian,” Wei Ying called over his shoulder, walking slowly. “She’s a strong, independent woman. If she says she doesn’t need my help, then that’s that!”
Mianmian’s head whipped back around to glare at him.
“Who said you could call me Mianmian?” she demanded, at the exact same time that the guy from earlier mumbled, “But I’m not a strong, independent woman…”
Ignoring the guy who’d defended him, Wei Ying turned back over his shoulder and happily sauntered over to Mianmian.
“Why can’t I call you Mianmian? It’s your name, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s just a nickname. For friends.”
The emphasis on that last word was undeniable. Wei Ying put a hand over his heart and took a dramatic step backwards.
“Ouch, okay! Fair enough,” he pouted.
The other girl, who was standing next to Mianmian with her hands still on the bin, gave a short, snorting giggle at Wei Ying’s antics, but one look from Mianmian and she immediately stopped.
“Well, I would hate to offend you, you know,” Wei Ying said, a sly grin returning to his face. “So I’d be happy to call you by your real name, if you tell it to me.”
This time, Mianmian turned with her whole body to face him, placing her hands on her hips. She stared up at him in a way that made her button nose scrunch up a little bit. It was so cute that he kind of wanted to pinch it. Wei Ying might have a bit of a cute aggression problem.
“You first,” Mianmian eventually decided.
Wei Ying’s eyes flicked back up to meet hers. He gave her his most charming smile and pointed to himself. “Hm? You want my name?”
Mianmian huffed and crossed her arms. “Obviously.”
Wei Ying’s grin widened.
“Alright! I’ll tell you my name. If—” he pointed to the bin. “you let me help you guys out with that.”
The other girl giggled again, while the male team assistant, who seemed to have given up any hope of getting help from Wei Ying, perked back up. Mianmian just rolled her eyes, but she also uncrossed her arms and turned back around to the bin.
“Alright, fine. Come on.”
Wei Ying joined them at the edge of the bin and pushed it along quickly, purposefully making the others jog to try and keep up with him. It was heavy, but it really wasn’t that bad.
“What, now you’re trying to show off?” Mianmian’s words were cutting, but she was also clearly trying not to laugh while she said them. “I thought you said you weren’t going to do it all on your own!”
Wei Ying picked up the pace, racing the bin through the doors that someone else had kindly already propped open and causing the others to fall behind him. “I wasn’t trying to, but my group turned out to be full of slackers!”
“Wait,” the other girl called out. “You’re going down the wrong hallway!”
“What?!” Wei Ying tried to pull the bin back the other way, but it was too heavy and he’d already gotten the momentum going a little too fast. When his tugging proved useless, he tried to weigh the bin down by jumping on top of it, but that didn’t help either. “Mianmian! HELP ME!” he called back over his shoulder.
But Mianmian and the others only laughed at him as the bin collided into one of the walls, sending it bouncing backwards. After careening into the second wall across the narrow hallway and tossing Wei Ying every which way, it finally slowed down enough that the others could catch up and grab it.
“You should’ve let us take the lead,” the other girl said, her smile kind as she helped Wei Ying down from where he’d fallen into the nasty, sweat-drenched towels.
Admittedly not the most attractive place to be found in, but he’d rolled around in worse, unfortunately.
When they finally got the bin rolling down the correct path, Wei Ying spoke up again.
“So, since we’ve all lived through terror and mayhem and life-or-death situations together—” Mianmian and the guy snorted “—why don’t we tell each other our names? I’ll go first; I’m Wei Ying!”
“Mo Xuanyu,” the guy who was not a strong, independent woman told him.
“Qin Su,” said the girl with the kind smile.
Everyone looked over to Mianmian. She shook her head, but smiled as she grudgingly told Wei Ying, “Luo Qingyang.”
Wei Ying hummed. “Luo Qingyang, huh?” The group pulled the bin up to a stop in front of a large set of double doors, and Mo Xuanyu pulled out a set of keys to unlock them. “Buuuuuut, since we’re obviously all friends now—” this statement was met with a flurry of snorts. “—I think I’ll just call you Mianmian, after all.”
“Actually, you can feel free to refer to me as Luo Qingyang.”
“Aw, the whole name?! Not even on a first name basis? Mianmian, you wound me!”
While the others laughed, Wei Ying dragged the bin inside of the gigantic laundry room and even stayed to help them load everything into the washers.
“So, what do you guys do while you wait?” he asked once all of the machines had been started.
“Homework mostly,” Mo Xuanyu answered.
“Really, that’s it? Nothing fun?”
“Why? Do you have anything in mind?” Qin Su asked.
Wei Ying thought about it. He looked around the room. It was all solid concrete blocks, painted white and full of… white washers and dyers. Oh, actually, there was also a plastic sink basin in the corner.
“Hmmm…. yeah, I’ve got nothing.”
The others all nodded. They were used to this room, and had already expected that reply.
“So, what kind of homework do you guys have?”
They had a mix of everything, as it turned out; history, calculus, and even homework for some kind of course in public speaking. Wei Ying already had experience tutoring a friend of his last semester, so he tried to help out where he could. That meant that he really only helped out Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu, though, because Mianmian was the one who was taking the public speaking course, and there really wasn’t much outside help that could be given when it came to something like that.
Which was really unfortunate, because as fun as it had been to look at Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu’s homework, the whole reason that Wei Ying had come up to the group in the first place was because he’d wanted to flirt with Mianmian!
“Mianmian, are you sure you don’t need any help practicing your speech? I’d be more than willing to take the time out of my weekend, really!”
“I’m positive.”
Wei Ying pouted. He really played up the pleading stance, and put on his best puppy-dog eyes. She didn’t care. She ignored him and stared straight at her laptop screen.
“But are you really sure? I’m very good at speaking, you know! I could provide you with plenty of valuable insight!”
“Oh, trust me, I’m already very aware of how much you love to talk,” Mianmian replied wrily.
Everyone giggled. Even Wei Ying, though he recovered quickly and immediately went back to his wheedling. He flopped back dramatically against the wall next to Mianmian and sighed, putting his hand to his heart once more.
“I can’t believe you’re rejecting my kind offer like this. Truly, the hearts of women are so uncaring.”
“Qingyang, is he bothering you?”
Everyone froze instantly at the sound of that deep, ice-cold voice cracking out into the room.
Wei Ying turned around. Standing at the entrance had to be the most handsome university student that he’d ever seen. The guy was tall, possibly even taller than Wei Ying, who was already six foot, and he had the stylishly slim physique of a fashion model. Not to mention his clothes, all of which looked like they came straight out of a high-end fashion ad.
He was dressed in a tight, white turtleneck sweater that was definitely cashmere, with short-sleeved a baby blue button-up that looked like it was probably made out of silk layered over top of it. The overshirt was left unbuttoned, but was nipped in together at the waist, where everything was tucked away neatly into his slim-fit pants. Everything from the way the outfit was put together, to the quality of the fabric, to the self-assured way that this guy stood just absolutely screamed wealth.
Now that was a bit of an issue. Wealth could go a long way when it came to pulling strings behind the scenes of this university, and Wei Ying seemed to have already gotten on this guy’s bad side, because those light-colored, honey-toned eyes were glaring straight at him.
Yikes! It looked like Wei Ying had definitely been coming onto the wrong girl. This guy had “jealous boyfriend” written all over him, and he could likely get Wei Ying into some serious trouble if he wasn’t careful. So, Wei Ying immediately tried to lessen the tension, gasping at the sight of this newcomer.
“Mianmian!” he exclaimed, elbowing her playfully. “You didn’t tell me that your boyfriend was so handsome!”
Mianmian and Mo Xuanyu both laughed, but the boyfriend’s already carved-from-jade face somehow managed to go even stonier. Yeesh! Maybe Wei Ying shouldn’t have elbowed Mianmian? He tried to subtly scoot away, but those angry eyes missed nothing. They were following his movements like a hawk.
“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. Lan Zhan and I are just friends,” Mianmian told him.
Are you sure about that? Wei Ying thought as he looked over at this “Lan Zhan,” whose expression made it seem like he would happily deck Wei Ying in the face if Mianmian even so much as breathed the word.
Wait, this guy was literally so scrawny looking! Why was Wei Ying letting himself get so intimidated by this nerd?! He was an athlete! And a very fit one at that, if he did say so himself. He could definitely take this guy down no problem, if it came to that.
Plus, this was technically his turf; this laundry room was connected to the soccer team’s locker rooms, after all. He wasn’t going to let some pretty-boy dweeb glare at him this whole conversation like he’d done something heinous. Wei Ying decided to push himself off of the wall and walk up to him, get real up close and personal. He deliberately looked Lan Zhan up and down, making it clear that he was sizing him up.
Lan Zhan didn’t seem the least bit intimidated. In fact, he didn’t even seem fazed in any way. An excellent poker face on this one, apparently.
“Well, handsome friend of Mianmian,” Wei Ying drawled. “What brings you over to this humble corner of the campus on this fine evening?”
“I came here to help.”
Wei Ying took a step back, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He looked the guy up and down one more time, just to make sure that—yup, no, he’d seen correctly the first time. Lan Zhan definitely wasn’t wearing that ugly uniform that all of the team manager’s assistants had to wear.
“You came here to help with the laundry? For free?”
Seriously, why would someone do something like that if they weren’t doing it for work? He was pretty sure that the team manager’s assistants only washed other people’s dirty laundry because they got paid to.
“I’m here to help with a speech.”
Lan Zhan then raised one eyebrow and gave Wei Ying a pointed look as well. The question was clear; You’re not wearing the uniform either, so why are you here?
Wei Ying ignored it. Instead, he whirled back around to look at Mianmian, his face full of indignation.
“So you do let others help with your speeches!”
Mianmian shook her head, her smile downright gleeful as she looked back-and-forth between the two. “No, I don’t. It’s a partner project and Lan Zhan’s my partner.”
Wei Ying deflated. Ugh, if it was a battle of affections, then he’d already lost. Lan Zhan had been teamed up with Mianmian for a class project, meaning that he was going to get way more one-on-one time with her than Wei Ying would have a chance to. Too many chances to build a rapport together! Wei Ying wouldn’t be able to catch up. Truly, the competition was already over before it’d even begun.
As if to add fuel to the flame that was Wei Ying’s disappointment, Lan Zhan took that moment to add: “Perhaps, if your help is unwanted, you should leave.”
“Hey!” Wei Ying whipped back around to face him. “I have been helping out! I helped them with the laundry! Is that something you’re willing to help them finish, hmmm?” He gave a pointed look to Lan Zhan’s whole get-up.
“He did help earlier,” Mianmian chimed in. Wei Ying perked up at the sound of her voice. His savior! “He asked us if we needed help with the bin, so we said sure, and then he stole it and immediately crashed it. He rode on it and bounced it all over the walls like he was trying to play bumper cars.”
Wei Ying’s hopes were dashed so thoroughly that his knees actually buckled. Never had he been so cruelly betrayed!
Mo Xuanyu and Qin Su laughed along with Mianmian, adding a bunch of very unhelpful and hyperbolic tidbits about what a “hassle” and a “disaster” it had been, but Lan Zhan was allergic to merriment, it seemed. He just stared at Wei Ying, his facial muscles frozen into a permanent, disapproving frown.
“Hm. How helpful,” he quipped.
Wei Ying squawked in indignation. It’s never enough, what you do for people! They’re always so ungrateful!
He huffed and scooted closer to Lan Zhan.
“Well then,” he said with a smile. “Let’s see how well you can do with helping this lot out, Lan Zhan. You can help them finish all of the laundry, since you’re apparently able to do things so much better than everyone else. And don’t worry! We saved the best for last; all of the players’ sweaty jockstraps are sitting here waiting just for you!”
He clapped Lan Zhan on the back, causing the other man to flinch, then turned around and ran off before Lan Zhan could retaliate. As he was running away, he heard Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu laughing, while Mianmian apparently tried to comfort Lan Zhan.
“There aren’t any jockstraps in there, Wei Ying was just messing with you. They don’t make us wash that kind of thing…”
But, Wei Ying supposed that the fates had also had their role to play in the story of Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. The fates in this case being The Powers That Be in the university’s administration, who determined which courses needed to be added to all of the various degree paths, and who also ultimately had the final say on the student rosters for each course before the start of the semester.
You see, the lecture that Wei Ying was currently heading to was actually supposed to be an introductory class for his art history major, but it also doubled as an elective that counted towards everybody’s Gen Ed requirements. It was fairly popular, too, and Wei Ying always scheduled his classes at the last possible minute, so even though he technically should’ve taken this class his first year at the university, he hadn’t actually been able to get a seat in it until this semester.
Which meant that he’d already taken quite a few of the upper-level courses for his major at this point, and therefore already knew most of the material that was supposed to be introduced in this lecture, but whatever. At least it would make the course easier to pass. The only thing that was going to stand between himself and a top mark was the attendance policy; the students were only allowed three unexcused absences in total or they failed the course, and it was a very early morning lecture. And Wei Ying was decidedly not an early morning person.
Hence, his current appearance. He’d woken up that morning, rolled over and looked at his phone, and had seen that he only had forty-five minutes to get to this lecture on time. It was too early in the semester to start using up his absences, so he couldn’t just sleep through the lecture like he desperately wanted to. He flung his covers off, threw up his rat’s nest of hair into a ponytail, grabbed the closest clean clothes that he could find (which happened to be his team’s leisure “tracksuit” that he normally hated to wear… he really needed to do laundry), and brushed his teeth at the speed of light.
By some miracle of fate (fate, in this case, being that he decided he really didn’t have time to stop for coffee that morning… sad), Wei Ying actually somehow managed to get to class not only on time, but even a few minutes earlier than he normally would have. He looked around the lecture hall, surprised to see that the seats were emptier than usual, and began heading to his usual spot way in the back when he caught a bright flash of white out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look and smiled when he saw that it had come from none other than the very same Lan Zhan that he had just met a few days earlier.
Unlike Wei Ying, who looked kind of like trash at the moment, Lan Zhan was already dressed to the nines despite the early hour. His picture-perfect hair was nicely brushed and styled back in a way that accentuated his sharp cheekbones, and he was wearing a white-button down that was so immaculately wrinkle-free that it must have been ironed, with a thick, white handknit cardigan overtop of it. To top it all off, he was currently arranging his papers and pens in front of himself with scrupulous precision.
This guy just had to be the world’s preppiest nerd that Wei Ying had ever seen. He immediately changed course to walk down the middle aisle that Lan Zhan was sitting in and flopped into the seat right beside him.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my new favorite sight for sore eyes!”
Lan Zhan’s head snapped over, his eyes narrowing as soon as he spotted Wei Ying. “You’re taking this course?”
“Nah. I just wander into random classrooms whenever I get bored.”
Lan Zhan stared at Wei Ying. Wei Ying stared back at him.
“...That was a joke. I was kidding.”
Lan Zhan just continued to stare at him. Then he hummed and turned back to his meticulously-placed things, picking up one of his pens. He was done with the conversation, apparently.
Oof, okay. Tough crowd.
Wei Ying watched Lan Zhan draw his papers closer to himself. Just to be contrary, he peeked over Lan Zhan’s outstretched arm to take a look at what he was reading. Recognition sparked in his brain.
“Oh wait, are those the handouts? Crap, I think I forgot to print mine out.”
The professor for that course was nice enough to make handouts for each lecture that contained the most pertinent information that would be covered that day, leaving only a few key words blank in each sentence so that the students could fill them in as they listened. It was an incredibly kind gesture, as this made up the majority of the student’s study guides for the exams.
Wei Ying wasn’t particularly worried that he’d forgotten his. There had only been a few lectures so far, since it was the start of the semester, but he’d usually been able to complete the handouts before the lecture even started, since he already knew most of the material. He didn’t want to be caught lacking in front of Mr. Perfect over here, though, so even if he didn’t really need the handouts, he still wanted to at least look like he cared. Or something.
So, he immediately tried to play it off. “Ah, it’s no big deal. I can just download it on my laptop and fill it in there.”
Then he looked around his seat, trying to find where he’d set his backpack down. It wasn’t next to his seat, so he looked underneath the table. No, wait, really, where had he put that thing? He started looking frantically all around, disrupting one of Lan Zhan’s highlighters in the process and earning a caustic side-eye to the back.
“Oh shit. Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying exclaimed, popping up from where he’d fully ducked underneath the table. “I think I forgot my whole entire backpack.”
“Careless.”
Wei Ying huffed and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms and giving his best mock-offended glare. “I’m not careless! I normally always come to class prepared. It’s just that this class is early and I woke up a little late this morning, so I had to hurry to get here on time.”
“Undisciplined,” Lan Zhan replied.
Wei Ying gaped at him. He was actually kind of offended that time.
“Okay, fine! I’m undisciplined because I actually want to get the proper amount of sleep,” he retorted. “Tell me then, Mr. Perfectly-Coiffed-Hair, exactly how much sleep did you lose to wake up early enough to look like that and still make it to class on time?”
“None.”
“Pffft! Yeah right! ‘None,’ well I don’t buy it.”
Lan Zhan didn’t seem to care if Wei Ying bought it or not, as he didn’t elaborate and didn’t even bother to look at Wei Ying. Rude, much? Wei Ying huffed and continued with his interrogation.
“What time did you wake up this morning, then?”
“Five.”
Wei Ying laughed. “Ah, finally! So you do know how to make jokes!”
Lan Zhan looked over at him, his eyebrows knitted together. “I wasn’t joking.”
Wei Ying’s smile dropped off of his face immediately. Was this guy for real?
“You really woke up at five this morning?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I wake up at five every morning.”
Wei Ying blinked at him. Lan Zhan’s tranquil expression remained the same. Wei Ying blinked again. Still no change, somehow.
“You wake up at five every morning?! Well, what time do you go to bed then?”
“At nine.”
“Ew. Lan Zhan, that’s actually kind of insane. What the fuck.”
At the word “fuck” Lan Zhan’s blank expression morphed back into a glare. So they were on familiar ground again, then. Wei Ying waved him off.
“Ah, don’t give me that look. We’re all adults here. I don’t have to censor myself.”
Given his still-offended expression, Lan Zhan seemed to disagree. But the professor had finally walked up to the podium by that point, so he was forced to turn around and listen as the lecture began.
Wei Ying let Lan Zhan listen unbothered for a few minutes, but eventually he just had to lean over and whisper something. It really was too early in the morning for him, and since he already knew everything they were talking about today anyway, the lecture wouldn’t be interesting enough to keep him awake. His only hope, then, was to annoy Lan Zhan into talking to him.
He glanced over at Lan Zhan’s handout, keeping one ear tracked on what the lecturer was saying. Just before he thought the key word was about to be mentioned, Wei Ying tapped the next blank on Lan Zhan’s handout and whispered, “That one’s ‘pine tree.’ Just so you know.”
Lan Zhan turned to stare at him.
At exactly that moment, the professor said, “The pine tree symbolized many things, most of which either had to do with old age or surviving harsh environments.”
“See? Told you.”
Lan Zhan narrowed his eyes and moved the paper closer to himself. Too bad for him, that didn’t deter Wei Ying. No matter how hard Lan Zhan tried to subtly block Wei Ying’s view of his paper, Wei Ying would sneak his way around and keep saying all of the answers right before the professor. After this had happened about four or five times, Lan Zhan snapped and started going through the sheet one by one, filling in all of the answers on his own without waiting for the professor to mention them.
Ugh, so Lan Zhan already knew all of the answers too?! Lame. His fun now ruined, Wei Ying huffed and sat back in his chair, his attention fully back on the lecturer.
She had such a naturally soothing voice. Being a lecturer was probably, like, the ideal job for her, actually. It’s just that it was so soothing, though, and this particular class was kind of early.
Wei Ying’s eyes started to droop. He forced them back open. They stayed that way for a while, but his blinking was slowing down, for sure. But it was fine, because his eyes still opened back up in the end, even if it took them a while.
Suddenly, something sharp whacked him hard on the ankle bone. Pain shot up Wei Ying’s leg, forcing him to sit bolt upright in his seat.
“Ow, shit,” he said, bringing his ankle up to rub it.
“Pay attention!” Lan Zhan hissed.
Wei Ying looked over and was met with a fierce glare. “What the hell? Did you just kick me?!”
“Pay attention,” Lan Zhan repeated, before turning back to face the front.
Wei Ying pouted, his gaze falling down to the table. He looked absent-mindedly over Lan Zhan’s completed handout. It was all perfect, of course. Perfectly wrinkle-free papers, perfect handwriting, perfect answers… wait. Almost perfect answers. Wei Ying smiled.
“Lan Zhan,” he whispered, leaning over into Lan Zhan's space. “Hey, Lan Zhan. You got this one wrong.” He tapped one of the blanks near the bottom. “You wrote ‘Song,’ but it’s actually ‘Tang.’”
Lan Zhan looked down at his paper. He stared at it for a while. Then he looked back up at Wei Ying.
Sure enough, right at that moment the professor said: “Ink wash painting, a technique that emerged during the Tang dynasty, was famously preferred by the literati over most other painting styles.”
Lan Zhan’s grip on his pen was so tight that Wei Ying was surprised the poor thing hadn’t just exploded under all that pressure. He smiled at Lan Zhan once more, feeling smug. Then he sat back in his seat and turned to face the front.
“Just trying to help you out!”
When the lecture ended, Lan Zhan packed up his things faster than the speed of sound and shot up out of his seat. Eager to escape Wei Ying’s charms, clearly.
“See you next time, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying called out after him.
Lan Zhan didn’t answer.
Funnily enough, though, it was actually mostly Nie Huaisang’s fault that Wei Ying and Lan Zhan had started hooking up on the sly.
Nie Huaisang was a nice but also kind of lazy student that Wei Ying had made friends with at the end of the previous semester. They’d been in the same Gen Ed chemistry course, and Nie Huaisang had been struggling greatly with the material. Now, chemistry wasn’t exactly Wei Ying’s forte either, but it’d been an intro course, so all of the homework and tests had really mostly been geared towards trying to get the students to memorize the basics. Which is time consuming and tedious work, sure, but it also wasn’t like it was the most conceptually-difficult thing in the world either, and that’s why Wei Ying had always felt that Nie Huaisang’s consistently-lackluster grades in the subject were more due to laziness than to actual ineptitude.
Wei Ying himself had been passing all of the tests and assignments with top marks, while Nie Huaisang had been toeing the line of outright failing the course. He was sweating bullets about what his strict older brother would say if he found out about the failing grade, and was desperate to find a way to turn things around. He had somehow managed to find out not only which of the students were passing, but had even managed to find out that the highest grade in their section was apparently Wei Ying.
So, Nie Huaisang had done what he did best, which was to introduce himself to Wei Ying and shamelessly beg for help. Luckily for him, Wei Ying had always been an affable sort of person, and also didn’t particularly care for their professor’s strict (and, frankly, condescending) teaching style.
“Sure, I’ll help you out,” Wei Ying had told him genially. “But what’s in it for me?”
Nie Huaisang had perked up immediately, more than willing to trade favors. “How do you feel about weed and video games?”
“Hah! How does anyone feel about them? They’re great!”
Nie Huaisang’s hopes rose so high that he’d practically been in tears. He fell down onto his knees in front of Wei Ying and clasped his hands gratefully. Finally, it was his time to shine!
“Listen: I have a very high-level hook up in the video game industry, so I get copies of a lot of the latest stuff months before it ever even hits the market! If you tutor me and get me to pass this course, I can hook you up with a free copy of anything you want from here on out, no matter how indie the company! And I’m even willing to throw in some weed on the side from my own personal stash to sweeten the deal.”
Well, how could Wei Ying say no to a deal like that? Tutor some rich kid for only one semester in exchange for a lifetime supply of video games? That shit wasn't exactly cheap! He would definitely be coming out on top, so he immediately agreed to the terms.
At least, that’s what he’d thought at first. Then he’d learned how reluctant Nie Huaisang was to actually sit down and memorize things that he wasn’t interested in.
“Come on, man. I even typed up the flashcards for you this time. All you have to do is download the app and flip through them.”
“But there’s nearly three hundred flashcards in this set!” Nie Huaisang had cried out, scrolling frantically on his phone.
Wei Ying had only shrugged. “Yeah, Professor Lan crammed a lot of stuff into this unit.”
Nie Huaisang had laid his phone down on the table with a click that was perhaps a little too loud for the library. He’d looked around to make sure that nobody was close enough to eavesdrop, and then leaned over the table to whisper in Wei Ying’s ear.
“Look, the tests are all only twenty-five questions long, so not all of this can possibly end up on the test, you know?”
Nie Huaisang had been right, of course, but that still didn’t change things.
“Yeah, but we don’t know for sure which things we’ll be tested on, so if you want to pass, you’ll just have to learn it all.”
That’s when Nie Huaisang had given Wei Ying what could only be described as a conspiratorial smile. “But what if I could get you the exact information that’ll show up on the test?”
…Well, in that case— “I mean, that definitely would make it so that we could lessen the flashcard load. But… can you actually do something like that? Like, without getting expelled?”
“You just leave that part to me!”
So Wei Ying had, and Nie Huaisang had somehow managed to deliver. He’d undoubtedly used some very shady methods to figure out what was going to be on the test, but Wei Ying was determined to maintain plausible deniability on his end, so he’d stalwartly refused to look into it any further.
Going through the last half of the course like that, Nie Huaisang had somehow managed to scrape by with a passing grade by the end of the semester. Any other professor probably would’ve been delighted that one of their least promising students had managed to somehow turn things around in the end, but Professor Lan had been around long enough that he’d had his suspicions. On the last day of classes, he’d given Wei Ying and Nie Huaisang’s newfound friendship quite the stink eye.
“Ahhhh, let’s get out of here to celebrate! I can’t stand having Professor Lan glaring at me like that. I don’t know how you’re even still smiling, right now.”
Wei Ying had slung an arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulders and dragged him out of the lecture hall. “Hah! What’s there not to smile about? You passed the class! We’re both finally done with it. Besides, what’s it to me if Professor Lan doesn’t like me? I have no need to impress him. That’s the only chemistry class I have to take, so I’ll never have to see him again.”
Nie Huaisang’s shoulders had slumped. “Ah, lucky you. Chemistry is my major and he’s the head of the department, so there’s no way I’ll be able to get out of taking more classes from him. Plus, he’s a friend of my dad’s, so I won’t be able to escape him even after graduation!”
Wei Ying had let go and clapped him once on the shoulder sympathetically. “Oooof, that’s rough.” Then: “Wait, you’re a chemistry major?!”
They’d only managed to hang out properly once before the end of last semester, but with the new semester starting, Nie Huaisang had gone out of his way to make good on his former promises. They’d been eating lunch at a popular bar off-campus a few days earlier, when Nie Huaisang had invited him over.
“You should come over to my place sometime this weekend. I just got a copy of the latest FromSoftware game, so we can check that out and smoke a bit, if you want.”
So that’s how Wei Ying found himself sitting in the middle of Nie Huaisang’s swanky-ass living room. His place was a little too nice for only two university students, frankly, given that it was a two-storey condo with a living room, kitchen, and bathroom on the first floor, and two bedrooms with walk-in closets and their own en suite bathrooms on the second floor. So Nie Huaisang was definitely a rich kid, then, which Wei Ying had already suspected given the very flashy way that he dressed.
Wei Ying wasn’t going to complain, though, especially if it meant that he got to have access to Nie Huaisang’s frankly exquisite entertainment system. He had a gigantic flat-screen TV that was mounted directly to the wall and styled to look like it was actually a painting inside of an ornate frame, and at least five gaming systems—old and new—lined up neatly inside a beautiful, mahogany cabinet down below. And that wasn’t even touching on the top-of-the-line gaming PC that he had tucked into the corner of the room.
“Wow, the graphics card on this thing is amazing,” Wei Ying told him, looking over his shoulder to watch him mess around with the monitor in awe. “Wait, why do you do your homework on that shitty, ancient Lenovo laptop if you have a computer like this?”
“You don’t shit where you eat, dude.”
Wei Ying wasn’t sure if that sentiment really applied in this particular situation, but he shrugged it off.
“Okay, I think the game’s finished downloading.” Nie Huaisang said, pushing away from the desk. “Why don’t you play a bit first while I pack the bong?”
Wei Ying was more than happy with that arrangement. At least, until he’d started taking hits off of the bong. He’d never tried to play while high before, and it turned out that that had probably been for the best. His reaction time was absolute trash when he was toasted.
“Ah, shit!” he cried out once he got another death screen.
Nie Huaisang had no sympathy. He was laughing pretty hard. “Man, you were doing so well earlier. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone eat it that hard that quickly before.”
Wei Ying dropped his head onto his arms and groaned. “Ugh, I’m a hack. Switch out with me.”
“Yeah, you could use a break.”
Nie Huaisang didn’t end up playing very much himself, though. He kept getting distracted while talking to Wei Ying, and it didn’t help that he was taking more and more hits off of the bong. Their conversation started to get really off topic.
“So that’s why, to me, in my personal opinion, moose antlers are actually body horror,” Wei Ying rambled. “Because like, what do you mean you have weird bone things growing out of your head? And they’re so heavy too?”
“Yeah, no, for sure, I’m with you on that. Because they literally shed, you know? And it’s really freaky looking.”
“Wait, they shed their antlers? Like the whole thing just falls off their head one day?”
“No. Well, I don’t know, maybe, but that’s not what I was saying. I meant, their antlers, like, shed skin or something every once in a while. It’s really scary, actually. So I’m with you, dude. Body horror.”
“Ugh, yes! Exactly, bro.” Wei Ying said. Then: “Hey, I’m starving. Do you wanna eat? Should we make some food, or something?”
Nie Huaisang nodded and stood up. “Yeah, me too. Let’s do it.” He led Wei Ying around the half-wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. “We should make something that cooks quickly, though, because I have to get all of this cleaned up before my roommate gets back. He’s super straightedge and hates weed and alcohol and stuff. He’s like… a living statue. Or something. He hates anything that’s lively. He’s the nephew of Professor Lan, actually, so you can imagine.” Oh, Wei Ying just could. He shuddered in sympathy. “Plus, his personality is, like, terrifying and he’s also supposedly crazy good at judo. And he already isn’t super thrilled about living with me, which really just adds to the whole vibe in the apartment, you know? He’s only rooming with me as a favor to my older brother—to help 'keep me in line,' or something—and I don’t want him tattling on me to Ge, so I’m not trying to get on his bad side anymore than I already am.”
Wait, a nephew of Professor Lan’s? Good at martial arts? Wei Ying laughed aloud at the thought. Now this was a person that he just had to meet.
“Yikes! Yeah, I get that. I had a difficult roommate situation too my first year here,” Wei Ying commiserated. “Granted, it was a bit different from yours, it sounds like.”
Wei Ying’s very first roommate really had been awful. Wen Chao had quite the challenging personality, and all of his girlfriends-of-the-month had been much the same. Wei Ying gossiped to Nie Huaisang about pretty much every single thing he could remember about the guy as they walked around the kitchen, gathering ingredients at random and discarding them just as quickly. They eventually settled on some spicy noodle dish that Wei Ying insisted he was an old hat at making, while Nie Huaisang carefully constructed some intricately-shaped dumplings, his earlier comments about only making something quick and easy completely forgotten. He’d even dragged the bong into the kitchen with them at one point, so that they could smoke while they cooked. They’d of course smoked again later while they ate, as well.
“Oh, but the worst time was when I accidentally walked in on him and this horrid girl he was dating while they were… you know.” Wei Ying set down his chopsticks to make a few rude hand gestures. “Fucking.”
Nie Huaisang gaped, the dumpling that had been halfway to his mouth completely forgotten. “You’re kidding!”
“I wish!”
“No! Oh, that’s awful.”
“Oh it was,” Wei Ying nodded in agreement, picking his chopsticks back up. “I didn’t see very much, mind you, because I evacuated the premises pretty much as soon as I opened the door. I mean, I absolutely fled the scene. Quickly as I could. But the few seconds that I saw? Burned into my mind’s eye permanently, I fear.”
Nie Huaisang sighed heavily, dipping his dumpling into the sauce that he’d spilled stuff all over the kitchen to make. “Yeah, I can just imagine. Damn, I don’t even know what I’d do if that happened to me! I’d be too mortified to move, I think. I might’ve actually dropped dead on the spot if I’d seen something like that!”
Wei Ying laughed, snorting into his noodles. He choked a bit, then reached for a cup that he suddenly realized he didn’t have. He pushed himself up from the table.
“Hey, I’m gonna make some tea. Which cabinet do you keep it in?”
Nie Huaisang set down his chopsticks. “Actually, I was just given a bottle of that one wine you said you wanted to try last semester. We can open that up instead, if you’re interested.”
“Wait, are you talking about Emperor’s Smile?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
Wei Ying nearly jumped with glee. He ran around to grab Nie Huaisang by the arm and haul him up. “Yes yes yes yes yes! Let’s drink that!”
Nie Huaisang had to climb on top of the counter to get it, since it was stored in the cabinet above the fridge.
Just as he had climbed back down and handed off the bottle to Wei Ying, a set of keys fit into the locks outside and the front door opened up. The sound was no louder than normal, but it made both of them jump violently regardless. When the person on the other side finally stepped through the threshold, Nie Huaisang’s face paled considerably and he began to look frantically around the space, which was naturally now a disaster.
Wei Ying’s face, on the other hand, lit up like a little kid’s on Christmas morning.
“Well, if it isn’t Lan-fucking-Zhan!” he exclaimed, waving around the bottle of Emperor’s Smile in his hand with glee. “Wait, you’re the scary roommate who knows judo?!”
At the words “scary roommate” Lan Zhan’s glacial glare slid from where it had been looking around at the absolute disaster that was their kitchen and living space over to Nie Huaisang, who started to quiver in fear. He ran quickly to hide behind Wei Ying.
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! Come over here, we’re gonna fight,” Wei Ying shouted. He set down the bottle of wine with a pointed thump and, abandoning Nie Huaisang, jumped over the half-wall into the living room. Then he quickly started shoving furniture over into a corner to make space in the middle of the room. “Come over here right now! I don’t buy for a second that you know judo. Fight me and prove it!”
“Oh, I cannot wait to see this,” called a deep baritone from outside. A second later, an absolute unit of a human being, who looked like he was built better and stronger than a brick shithouse, walked through the front door.
Nie Huaisang’s already pale complexion was now whiter than any of Lan Zhan’s starched-to-perfection button-up shirts. The expression on his face was one of pure, unadulterated terror.
“Ge…” he whispered. Then, he quickly ran over to Wei Ying again, hiding behind him once more.
Wei Ying didn’t have time to process any of that, though, because just then a third person walked through the door and he was literally a second Lan Zhan!
“Holy shit! There’s two Lan Zhans!”
Lan Zhan number two, unbelievably, smiled at Wei Ying when he said this. It was such a strange sight that Wei Ying actually did a double take.
“Huaisang, who’s your friend?” the friendly (?) Other Lan Zhan (??) asked.
“Wei Ying,” the Regular Lan Zhan spat.
He was gripping the strap of his bag so tightly that the veins on his hand were starting to protrude dangerously.
The Other Lan Zhan’s smile grew. He side-eyed the Regular Lan Zhan, now directing the line of inquiry at him instead.
“Ah, so you two know each as well?”
Wei Ying, who had been busy inspecting Regular Lan Zhan’s hand just then, looked over to the Other Lan Zhan’s hands for comparison. He found that although their hands looked very similar, the muscles in Other Lan Zhan’s arms, which were left mostly-uncovered by his T-Shirt, looked like they were bulkier than what he assumed Regular Lan Zhan’s must be like underneath all of those long-sleeved shirts.
“Wait a second… how do we know that you aren’t the one who knows judo?” Wei Ying asked, pointing accusingly at the Other Lan Zhan. “I bet you’re the one who actually knew judo this whole time! And Lan Zhan over here was just lying to intimidate poor, dear Huaisang!”
The tall, scary muscleman and Other Lan Zhan laughed heartily at the accusation, but Lan Zhan’s glare turned quite vicious.
“I assure you, that is not true,” he replied in an icy tone.
Too petrified to speak, but also scared enough to want something to happen to break the tension, Nie Huaisang began to tug at the back of Wei Ying’s shirt. It didn’t work out the way that Nie Huaisang had hoped; Wei Ying just blundered on.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure that’s what you want people to think! Well, put your money where your mouth is then and come over here and fight me! We’ll see for sure how well you know judo!”
“No.” Lan Zhan looked pointedly over to the bottle of wine that Wei Ying had been enthusiastically waving around earlier. “You’re drunk.”
“HAH!” Wei Ying laughed. “I’m not drunk; I’m high!”
Nie Huaisang’s tugs were now actually quite strong, so much so that Wei Ying could no longer ignore it. He tried to look back over at Nie Huaisang, but it was difficult because Nie Huaisang was currently using Wei Ying’s body as a shield to hide himself from the view of the scary-looking muscleman.
Oh, right! Nie Huaisang had called that guy “Ge” earlier. He’d mentioned once that his older brother was strict, so he probably didn’t want him knowing about the weed. Whoops.
“Uh, high on alcohol!” Wei Ying corrected lamely. “Because we would never smoke pot indoors, obviously.”
If looks could kill, Lan Zhan’s definitely would’ve in that moment. But honestly, even his glare had nothing on the scary-looking muscleman’s.
"Yeah, right! Don’t even try to lie. We could smell that shit from outside,” the guy spat. Uh-oh, busted! “Huaisang, what was all that bullshit you told me when you moved in here? Remember how you swore up and down that you wouldn’t smoke with Lan Zhan in the house?”
Nie Huaisang gulped and went to speak, but all that came out was a pathetic squeak, like a little mouse.
Welp, fuck it! It was officially Damage Control Time. Wei Ying turned around and hauled Nie Huaisang up by his arm, sprinting back into the kitchen so that they could run out the french doors that led to the back patio.
“HUAISANG!”
Wei Ying and Nie Huaisang were already outside and halfway down the block. They couldn’t hear his older brother’s yelling. They ran for what felt like forever. Mostly on the sidewalks like normal people, but occasionally they would try to cut through stretches of garden and parks whenever they cropped up. Eventually Nie Huaisang was too out of breath to continue, so they had to stop to take a break.
“Ah, shit,” Nie Huaisang panted, leaning against the alley-facing wall of some storefront. “Do you think—” He paused to catch his breath. “Do you think they’re talking about us?”
“Oh, absolutely. With that exit? They’re for sure talking about us, dude. There’s basically no way they aren’t.”
Nie Huaisang slid down the side of the wall onto a pathetic heap on the ground, letting out a long, deep whine that probably could’ve rivaled the somber song of a beached whale. Despite the pavement having all the nasty grime typical of a city alleyway, Wei Ying decided to sit down next to him.
“Hey, it’s okay. Worst case scenario, they just throw out all your weed.”
Nie Huaisang’s whine heightened in both pitch and volume. “We left all of it sitting out, along with my bong! Shit, we left the whole place a mess. Lan Zhan is going to be so pissed at me. And Ge was there too! Ugh, he’s going to kill me.”
“Ha hah! Speaking of, you really have to invite me over more often from now on, Huaisang! I can’t believe that your roommate is Lan Zhan! You really have the best luck.”
Nie Huaisang looked over at Wei Ying, his expression stuck somewhere between what appeared to be confusion and horror. “Luck?”
“Yeah! Lan Zhan is so much fun!”
Nie Huaisang’s eyes were so round that you could practically see the whole whites of them. His eyebrows had basically taken up residence in his hair, at this point. “Fun?!”
“Well, fun to mess with! Ha ha ha ha!”
Wei Ying continued to laugh merrily, but Nie Huaisang was frowning and fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Ah, I don’t know. I really don’t think Lan Zhan’s the type of person you should mess around with… He really can be quite scary, and he was glaring at you like he was really pissed earlier.”
“Ahh, Huaisang! You let him intimidate you too easily.” Wei Ying slung an arm around his shoulder and gave him a little shake. “Are you still worried about the mess we left in the kitchen? Don’t worry so much! We’ll clean it up when we get back. As long as it gets cleaned up in the end, then it’s no harm. Right?”
Nie Huaisang hummed in a way that, somehow, managed to convey a deep level of skepticism. “I really don’t think Lan Zhan will see it that way…”
“Ah, forget about that fuddy-duddy for a moment,” Wei Ying said, standing up and brushing all the dirt off of his pants. “Hey, do you wanna go to that bar that has all of those pinball machines in the basement? So that you can avoid going back home?”
Nie Huaisang let out a massive sigh and wiped his hands over his face.
“Yeah,” he said, smacking both hands on his knees and moving to stand up. “I wanna get drunk and play pinball. Let’s go.”
“That’s the spirit!”
Wei Ying clapped Nie Huaisang on the shoulder, chatting his ear off while he led him down the street.