Work Text:
Jeonghan arrived around one in the afternoon. He didn't even knock, just honked the car horn obnoxiously for a full minute while Joshua scrambled out of his apartment. As he raced toward the blue beater, one of his neighbors, an old man named Julius, swung open his window and shouted to Jeonghan, "Hey, knock it off, twerp!"
The old man saw Joshua run up to the car and his voice changed to a more polite tone. "Oh, hello Joshua. Is this man bothering you?"
Jeonghan had his windows rolled down, smirking like the devil he was while Julius watched him with narrowed eyes.
"Not at all, just a friend!" Joshua yelled back.
Julius regarded Jeonghan with distrust. To most residents, Julius was the cranky old miser who lived on the 2nd floor, the one who snapped at the children and swung his knobby fists at them for being too loud in the hallways. He was also Joshua’s neighbor and friend.
"I'll see you later!" Joshua called to him. The old man gave Jeonghan one more glare and then closed his window. Sighing, Joshua slid into the passenger seat. "Was the honking really necessary?"
"What?" Jeonghan said innocently. "How was I supposed to get your attention?"
That was Jeonghan, weird and spontaneous and so loud. He was dressed casually in jeans and a baggy white sweatshirt.
"Why can't you send a text like a normal person?" Joshua grumbled.
"If I had, I wouldn't have met your friend," Jeonghan said as he pulled out onto the street. Light snow was starting to fall, kissing the car windows like powder on a donut. "Your friend doesn't seem to like me very much."
"Julius is like that with everyone," Joshua said. “You get used to it.”
“Really? He sounds cranky.”
“So, where are we going? A cafe I hope. I could use a nice cup of hot chocolate."
The corners of Jeonghan's mouth curled into something mischievous.
"I had something else in mind," he said.
"...We're not going to a cafe, are we? Jeonghan, you said we would!"
"Just trust me," Jeonghan said. "I promise this will be just as much fun. Besides, you said you needed to get away from everything."
It was true. Work was stressful, deadlines swirling in the back of his mind and threatening to give him a migraine.
"It'll be fun, trust me," Jeonghan said.
Joshua longed for an escape and here was Jeonghan offering him just that. How could he refuse? They zoomed down the highway.
"Whose house is this?" Joshua asked.
It was located in a suburb, the kind that made you believe utopia was possible, that all your hopes and dreams could come neatly packaged in a white picket fence and trimmed lawn.
"Jeonghan?"
Jeonghan didn't answer of course, already walking up the driveway. Not having much of a choice, Joshua followed him to the front door. There was another car parked in the driveway. Without even knocking, Jeonghan stepped into the house.
It was a lot bigger than Joshua expected. Wooden floors opened up to a living area where a fireplace towered impressively to the ceiling. A fire crackled merrily in the hearth, lending a warm yellow glow to the room. Joshua had to resist the urge to run over to it and heat his freezing fingers. Hell, he was so tired, even curling up on the rug next to it and taking a nap suddenly seemed appealing.
"Yoon Jeonghan?"
A woman dressed in a sharp pantsuit and black heels appeared seemingly from nowhere.
"That would be me," Jeonghan said cheerfully and Joshua watched as the woman offered a manicured hand to him. Jeonghan shook it, shooting her a charming smile. Not surprisingly, the woman blushed. Typical.
Once she composed herself, she turned her attention to Joshua, eyes lingering seconds too long on his tattered jacket. She recovered quickly with a professional white smile. "And who might this be?"
Hello, I'm Joshua. I was kidnapped by my best friend who's equal parts stupid and crazy. I really don't have a damn clue what's going on but I already hate it here. How are you?
"Joshua Hong. Nice to meet you," Joshua said instead. The woman flashed that blinding white smile again and shook his hand.
"My name is Jinyi. Let me show you around, Mr. Yoon, Mr. Hong," and she led them into the living room. "Now this house matched all five items in your wish list. As you can see, we have a beautiful open floor plan, gorgeous wooden floors, and a fireplace. All features you asked for in a house. What do you think?"
"I love it," Jeonghan said. "What do you think, Joshua?"
Joshua smiled sweetly at the realtor. "Can you please give us a second?" He yanked Yoon Jeonghan into the kitchen.
"Ow! Ow! Hey!"
When he let go of Jeonghan's sleeve, Jeonghan stumbled forward.
"You didn't think to tell me you're buying a house?" Joshua hissed. "That's a really big decision Jeonghan!"
"Relax Hong, I'm not buying a house."
Joshua blinked. "You're not?"
"Nope."
"Then why...?"
"Hear me out," Jeonghan started and that's when Joshua started heading for the door. Any time Jeonghan starts a sentence with ‘Hear me out’, it never ends well (for Joshua anyways. Funnily enough Jeonghan had a remarkable way of disappearing when things went south).
"Joshua- Joshua!" Jeonghan yanked him back into the kitchen. "Will you just listen for a second! Haven't you ever wanted to pretend? Live another life for a bit?"
"No," Joshua replied flatly. It was a downright lie, but Jeonghan didn't need to know that.
"Oh come on, this will be fun! We'll go to a couple of open houses and make a day of it. Maybe you'll get some ideas for the future."
"This is so weird," Joshua said. "We'd be lying, not to mention wasting this woman's time and… and you're not backing down are you?"
Jeonghan shot him a broad grin. "Nope."
"Hello Mr. Yoon, Mr. Hong. Ready to see more?"
The lady resumed her pitch almost like they hadn't left at all.
"We'd love that," Jeonghan said in an overly enthusiastic voice. It was obvious he was trying to match the woman's perky tone. If the woman noticed anything about it, she didn't say anything, only smiled brightly.
They followed the woman up the stairs, her black curls bouncing with each step she took.
"Here's our first bedroom!"
Whoever currently occupied the room loved cars, because the entire wall was covered in portraits of them. Miniature models of vintage cars filled each shelf, nook, and cranny.
"Looks like we have a car enthusiast!" The woman announced with a chuckle. "Take a look around."
Uncertainly, Joshua did. He couldn't tell if the room belonged to a ten year old child or a middle aged grown man. When Jinyi mentioned that the room's carpet was recently renovated, Jeonghan nodded seriously, crouching down to inspect the carpet like it was the most riveting thing in the world. He couldn't possibly be interested, now could he? Well, it looked genuine.
"And if we move on to the master bedroom, you'll see we have a wonderful view of the mountains over here."
Joshua had to admit the snow capped mountains, purple and white in the distance, were an impressive view. The room itself, on the other hand, was a bit lackluster, looking hopelessly washed out compared to the depths and beauty of the mountains.
While Jeonghan checked out the master bathroom, the realtor came over to Joshua. "So, how did you two meet?" She asked.
Not thinking much of it, Joshua answered, "Work. My computer kept crashing. I went to IT and he was the one who fixed it for me."
"That's so sweet," the realtor cooed.
Joshua scratched his nose. "I guess."
What he didn't mention was that while Jeonghan sorted out the bugs each time, new problems seemed to pop up no matter how many times Joshua visited him. Like one time, his computer kept auto correcting Joshua Hong to Fart Face. Another time, Joshua's Microsoft Teams background was stuck on a picture of SpongeBob SquarePants (though he never changed it to that). And don't even mention the time his computer kept playing a burp noise every time he received an email. Eventually, he realized Jeonghan was the mastermind behind these tricks. When he confronted him one afternoon, asking why, the man had simply grinned and said, “Because I like spending time with you, Hong.”
The realtor asking about him and Jeonghan should've been Joshua's first clue. But as usual, these things went right over his head. It didn't hit him what was happening until the realtor started bringing up the hiking trails available to residents. She even brought out a map, outlining a few trails with a red polished fingernail. "And these ones here are most notably hiked by couples. They have very romantic views at the top."
Five seconds later, Joshua skidded into the master bathroom.
"Jeonghan," he whispered. "Jeonghan!" He poked him hard in the back of the head.
"What?" Jeonghan said, wincing. He stood up from where he had been examining the tiled shower floors and grunted when he saw Joshua's face. "Whoa, why do you look constipated?"
"The real estate agent thinks we're a couple!”
"What makes you say that?"
As if on cue, the realtor added from the other room, "This neighborhood has a wonderful community too, very open and accepting of all couples!”
Joshua gave Jeonghan an exasperated look like, See? He expected the other to look awkward, not for his eyes to light up with glee.
I'm in danger, Joshua thought.
Oddly enough, the rest of the tour went smoothly. Jeonghan behaved himself and even asked Jinyi a few questions about the house, playing the role of a prospective buyer so well Joshua almost believed it. Finally the three of them made their way back to the front door.
"What did you think of the place?" Jinyi went.
"It's great," Jeonghan said. "What did you think, Honey?"
Joshua choked so hard on his spit, he ended up coughing for a good few minutes while Jeonghan slapped his back.
"Allergies," Jeonghan told the realtor apologetically. "Poor thing. Are you alright now, babe?" Jeonghan's voice was sugary sweet.
Joshua wondered if now would be an inappropriate time to knee Jeonghan in the groin.
As it turned out, they had two more houses to look at. Since Jeonghan made it clear to the realtor they were an item, Joshua had no choice but to play along. It was hilarious really, that even outside of work, Joshua still managed to get roped into Jeonghan's antics. Guess that's what he got for befriending a demon.
The next house was twenty minutes away from the previous one, it too nestled inside a bustling suburb. There must have been an elementary school nearby because Joshua spotted some children with colorful backpacks walking home.
Jinyi was waiting out front in the driveway.
“Welcome to Option 2,” she said proudly and she unlocked the door.
Brown. The entire house was brown. The cabinets, the walls, even the tiles. Thank goodness it didn't smell like the color brown.
“Now this house doesn't check all the boxes in your wishlist,” Jinyi began. “For instance, it doesn't have a fireplace, but it is a family friendly location with a lovely elementary school less than five minutes away.”
Interesting. Was family friendly a quality Jeonghan had put on his wishlist? If so, that would explain why the houses they'd seen so far were located in suburbs. But why would Jeonghan be interested in that lifestyle… unless he wanted children in the future? Joshua shot a questioning look Jeonghan's way, but the other seemed far too busy drinking in his surroundings to notice.
Like earlier, Jinyi first showed them the living room, the kitchen, and the dining room. Somewhere in that timeframe, Jeonghan managed to sneak his hand into Joshua’s. It wasn't completely unwelcomed, as much as it pained him to admit. The touch was strangely comforting, Jeonghan's thin slender fingers perfectly fitting between Joshua’s larger ones.
Jinyi’s heels clicked against the brown tiles as she showed them to the next room. “What sets this house apart from the rest is this extra space you have here, which can be repurposed into whatever you desire. Obviously, the homeowner who lives here chose to make the space an at home office.” She gestured to the Herman Miller sitting behind a cream colored desk.
“You know what this space would be perfect for?” Jeonghan said. “Your dojo!”
Joshua blinked. “My what?”
“Oh honey, you're so funny,” Jeonghan giggled and he actually pawed Joshua's shoulder. “You know what I'm talking about. Your dojo!”
Joshua didn't say anything, too confused to string words together. With a twisted smile, Jeonghan turned to the realtor, jabbing a thumb in Joshua's direction.
“He spends 3 years learning kungfu with the monks, and now he wants to take his vows of silence.” Jeonghan chuckled goodnaturedly. “Don't be modest now, Shua. Tell her what it was like in China!”
Before Joshua could punch Jeonghan in the face, Jinyi said, “Wow, I didn't know we had a martial artist with us today!”
“Oh yes, he's a black belt,” Jeonghan added while Joshua shot him a death glare.
It was too late. Jinyi’s eyes were already alight with excitement. “Mr. Hong, if it wouldn't trouble you, could you give us a small demonstration?”
“Yes Shua, show us some moves,” Jeonghan chimed in. His thin lips curled up malevolently.
Perhaps now Joshua could knee Jeonghan in the groin. He was sure he could pass it off as a kungfu move and no one would bat an eye.
As tempting as the idea was, Joshua restrained himself. “Ah, apologies everyone. I would need to warm up first before attempting any demonstrations. Besides, I think this room would be perfect for your doll collection, Jeonghan.”
That wiped the smirk clean off Jeonghan's face. It felt good to give him a taste of his own medicine. Besides, didn't he say the whole point was to have fun pretending? If Jeonghan wanted to play games, then Joshua certainly had no trouble playing. In fact, Yoon Jeonghan was about to find out just how creative he could be.
As Jinyi led them upstairs, Jeonghan whispered to him, “It's on, Hong.”
So maybe they went a little overboard. Things may have strayed towards the ridiculous and the immature, but don't blame Joshua. It was all Jeonghan's fault. Once he started, it was impossible to stop.
“I don't know if this is big enough, honey,” Jeonghan said loudly when they were checking out the master closet. “Are you sure your Naruto body pillow can fit in here?”
And when they were in the bathroom, Joshua pointed out a cupboard which was just the right size for storing all of Jeonghan's bathtub toys. Jeonghan pinched him hard from behind when the realtor wasn't looking.
The lies got progressively more ridiculous.
“Joshua, check this painting out. Doesn't it remind you of the time you went on a safari and saved a baby elephant?”
“Hey Jeonghan, you should tell Jinyi about your side gig as a nude yoga instructor.”
It got so bad to the point where Joshua had to dash into another room just so he could break down laughing.
“Is he ok?” The realtor asked as she and Jeonghan stood in the doorway. Joshua was still on his knees, gasping for air.
“Nervous laughter,” he heard Jeonghan say. “It runs in the family.”
Jinyi regarded Joshua with concern as he clambered to his feet, still wheezing. She cleared her throat and tacked on a professional smile. “Well, this brings us to the last room, typically considered the guest room.”
“I think you mean nursery,” Jeonghan said.
Joshua made a strangled noise. “Nursery!”
“Are you two expecting?” Jinyi asked.
When Jeonghan's hands started snaking their way towards Joshua’s stomach, Joshua blurted, “We have a surrogate!”
Jeonghan snorted, but at least his hands dropped. There was no way in hell Jeonghan was going to convince this woman that Joshua was pregnant.
Jinyi clapped her hands in delight. “That's wonderful,” she said. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks, it's a girl,” Joshua responded, surprised with how easily the words rolled off his tongue. Once again, he caught Jeonghan momentarily off guard. The other studied Joshua with a shrewd expression, uncharacteristically serious and unreadable. What was he thinking? Did Joshua take things too far? His heart pounded hard like it was trying to escape his ribcage.
Finally, Jeonghan broke into a wide grin.
“We're having a girl?” He exclaimed. “Honey, why didn't you tell me?”
“Uh, surprise?”
“Oh my God, Shua! This is the best day ever!” And he pulled Joshua into a tight hug. It was just a hug. Not even a real hug, given the context. And yet his heart didn't seem to get the memo, fluttering around in his ribcage like an annoying gnat.
Even after the tour ended, Joshua still couldn't seem to calm his racing heart.
The last house was located in a calmer part of the suburbs where the roads were quiet and sleepy. Of the three houses, this one exhibited the most personality. Two small teddy bear topiaries flanked either side of the house like leafy guards.
“Last house,” Jeonghan said, slipping his hand into Joshua’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. There was something about the gesture that felt natural and right. It warmed Joshua up like a cup of hot cocoa.
Predictably, Jinyi greeted them at the front door. When she unlocked it, they all stepped inside. Joshua gasped. It was his dream house. The design was sleek and modern with gray tiled flooring and sparkling steel appliances. Like the outside, the inside exhibited a subtle sense of humor. There were little things that let you know the house, despite having a sophisticated appearance, didn't take itself too seriously. For instance, there was this running bear theme in all the paintings and framed pictures. Joshua’s favorite was the frame in the living room, which was a black and white portrait of a teddy bear wearing spectacles.
“This last house is a staged home,” Jinyi said. “Now it is slightly above your budget, but I still believe it's worth considering. With this home, everything is brand new and move-in ready. It also comes with a feature not many houses in the area have, but I'll show you that later. For now, let me show you around!”
Joshua should not have been allowed inside the house, because he fell in love with everything. Every. Single. Stupid. Thing. The marble counter tops, the gray tiled floors, heck, he even gushed over the blue and white tiled shower wall. He guessed this was how one knew when they had fully transformed into an adult. When stainless steel appliances started sparking joy, that's when you know you've graduated into adulthood.
The whole while, Jeonghan kept a gentle hand on Joshua's lower back. Joshua noticed this time around, there was no playful ribbing from him, no teasing and trying to embarrass Joshua with indignant, made-up facts. Perhaps Jeonghan could sense how much this house meant to him.
“Now I did promise a surprise,” Jinyi said and she led them to a slide glass door on the second floor. Fortunately, there was a balcony on the other side (or else the tour would have ended tragically). The balcony was a small square space, more like a pocket attached to the side of the house than a proper balcony. It was not meant to hold more than two people, which became painfully clear with all three of them crammed onto it. Joshua’s arm kept touching Jinyi’s bag, and his shoulder kept bumping into Jeonghan's.
None of it mattered once you looked up. He couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath. It was beautiful. First you had the view of the suburbs. From the top, they looked like a green and gray twisting maze. Then further out, there was the backdrop of the city with its tall buildings shimmering like a gray mirage. Joshua was shocked to see the sky transitioning into a gentle pink and orange. It was already dusk?
“It's beautiful,” Jeonghan breathed, looking similarly awestruck.
Jinyi smiled. “Yes, it's quite a view. I’ll leave you two so you can enjoy it together. If you need anything, I'll be downstairs.”
And soon enough, she left, sliding the glass door shut. A gentle breeze blew, causing some of Jeonghan's dark hair to gently kiss his forehead. With the setting sun, his eyes turned a warm honey color. Those eyes, previously fixed on the city, now met Joshua’s.
“So, you liked the house, huh?” Jeonghan said smugly.
“A little.”
Jeonghan crossed his arms and gave him a look.
“Ok, a lot,” Joshua admitted. “I liked the stupid house. Happy?”
There was a moment of silence where Jeonghan looked out to the city again. Joshua was still dimly aware of their touching shoulders.
“Did you have fun today, Joshua?” he said suddenly.
“Huh?”
Jeonghan fixed those eyes back on him. It occured to him that while he had always known Jeonghan's gaze to be mischievous, languid, playful, there were times like these when it could be penetrating, piercing, serious.
“Did you have fun?” He repeated. “Did it help any?”
Joshua frowned. “Help what?”
“Joshua, you're burnt out,” Jeonghan said, voice gentle. “You come into work with two cups of coffee. You leave with stacks of paper. And those dark rings under your eyes are starting to look etched. You're burnt out.”
Joshua didn't say anything. It wasn't like he could deny it. It was the truth after all.
“Did it help to step away from things for a bit?” Jeonghan said.
Yes. Of course. This has been the most fun I've had in months.
Joshua didn't say any of this of course, settling instead for a grudging nod.
“Ayyyy, don't be stubborn,” Jeonghan tutted through pouty lips. “Admit it, you had fun.”
He poked Joshua in the ribs. Unfortunately, Joshua’s ribs have always been a ticklish spot for him and before he could help it, he giggled.
“Oh, does that tickle?” Jeonghan asked. He poked him there again.
“H-hey! Stop it, that tickles!”
“Not until you admit you had fun!”
Joshua continued to giggle as Jeonghan poked him incessantly and finally he gasped out, “Yes! Of course I had fun! I had an amazing time!”
He didn't realize how close they had gotten to each other, but suddenly Jeonghan was inches away from him. They were close enough that Joshua’s chest knocked against Jeonghan's, his breath crystallizing into the air as white mist. His heart, meanwhile, was doing that weird thing again, hammering madly against his ribcage like it wanted to break free from its bony confines.
They both backed away from each other, shy all of a sudden. Joshua was shocked to see blush creeping along Jeonghan's cheeks.
“I'm glad you had fun, Hong,” he said softly.
The ride back to Joshua’s apartment was excruciating. Joshua almost considered throwing himself onto the street just to escape the suffocating silence. The worst part was that he couldn't get a read on Jeonghan since it was dark and the other kept his eyes glued to the road. By the time they reached his apartment, Joshua had convinced himself that what had happened on the balcony was a mistake.
Jeonghan walked Joshua to the door.
“Um, goodnight I guess,” Joshua said awkwardly.
He was about to head inside when Jeonghan suddenly said, “Wait.”
Here it was. He was going to ask Joshua to forget what happened on the balcony so things wouldn't be awkward at work.
Instead, Jeonghan said in a shy voice, “Just so you know, I had fun too. If you ever find yourself needing an escape, I'm always a call away.”
That didn't sound like a rejection. If anything, it sounded like an invitation.
The shy vulnerable side of Jeonghan eventually gave way to a crooked smile. “Don't be a stranger, Hong.”
And just like that, he turned on his heels and walked back to his car, whistling cheerfully. As the engine whirred, Jeonghan honked his horn a couple times. Of course he was going to make his exit as loud and obnoxious as possible. Joshua rolled his eyes but couldn't keep the smile off his face.
“Hey, knock it off, twerp!” he heard Julius shout from above. “Some of us are trying to sleep here!”
Jeonghan honked his horn one last time, then raced out of the parking lot, tires screeching on asphalt.
Later, as Joshua crawled into bed, he thought back to what Jeonghan said about being a call away. He smiled to himself. For the first time in weeks, Joshua fell into peaceful dreams.