Chapter Text
“Arctic air. Clears the head, doesn't it?”
Bell was following Adler as he led the two of them along the cliffside. They were still exhausted from the fight at Solovetsky, the adrenaline crash leaving them barely standing. Still, Bell would follow Adler where he led them. Everything felt weird between them now. Bell had been happily trailing after Adler for months now. Doing what he asked had felt as easy as breathing.
Apparently it was supposed to feel that way. An easy partnership had been artificially implanted in them. Bell’s mind still wanted to please Adler in whatever way that meant, but that desire was soured by the knowledge of what the man had done to them. They didn’t have it in them to respond to Adler, barely nodding at his back. He turned to face them, the sun glinting off of his sunglasses.
“Bell, you made two extraordinary sacrifices to stop Perseus. One was without your knowledge. The other... you made that decision of your own accord,” said Adler as he took a drag from his cigarette. “I just want you to know that this little thing that's happened with you and me... It was always for the greater good.”
Adler tossed his cigarette away and looked off at the glittering sea. Bell’s heart dropped to their stomach as they listened to him speak. Where was he going with this? Had nothing between them been real to Adler at all? He’d kidnapped them and brainwashed them; Bell had been coming to terms with that reality for hours. The undercurrent of hope hadn’t abandoned them, however. They didn’t want to think that every kind word, every soft look had been fake too.
“You're a damn hero, you know that, kid? Heroes have to make sacrifices. That's why when I ask you for one more, I hope you understand... it was never personal.”
The fuck did that mean? Bell didn’t have long to wonder before Adler was spinning around to face them, his gun drawn from his waistband. They panicked at the sudden movement, pulling their own pistol from its holster. Their mind was screaming at them to stop but they couldn’t let Adler kill them again. An eternity stretched as the pair aimed at each other.
Clamping their eyes closed against reality, Bell squeezed the trigger.
Two gunshots rang out in the cold air, twin grunts following almost instantly. Both of them toppled backwards as the bullets hit their tac vests, neither shots proving fatal. With the wind sufficiently knocked out of them, Bell felt more than just physical pain rushing through them. Adler tried to kill them. Again. There was a bullet hole in their vest where their heart was thundering, a serious bruise undoubtedly forming underneath.
Shit, Adler.
Bell lifted their head from the rocky ground to look for Adler. It didn’t make sense– Adler had just tried to kill them, he’d brainwashed them and stolen their life away. They shouldn’t be worried about whether or not he was alive, and yet here they were, trying to scramble to their knees to try and see if he was still breathing.
Apparently Adler had the same idea, as he was rolling onto his side and trying to brace an arm against the soil to lift himself up. Bell groaned and crawled over on their knees, every beat of their heart sending more pain radiating through their chest and abdomen. Fucking bastard was a good shot– they had at least a couple cracked ribs underneath their vest.
When he heard the gravel crunching under Bell’s hands and knees, Adler began moving faster, doing his best to get upright before they got to him. Before he could get his legs under him, an angry weight slammed into him, knocking the air out of his lungs again. He was forced onto his back, both hands coming up to grapple with Bell’s hits.
Adler knew better than most that Bell was damn good at hand-to-hand, but right now, their palms were shaking in their fingerless gloves, blood caked beneath their nails as they tried to avoid his grabbing hands. Bell threw a half-hearted punch, the strain from the gunshot showing in the weakness of the hit. They both knew Bell could knock someone out, but they were still reeling and trying to cling to consciousness. Staying upright was its own battle right now.
With his forearms, Adler blocked another attempted punch, grabbing at one of Bell’s fists with his opposite hand. They anticipated the retaliation, their other hand clocking him in the temple and bringing his head back to the ground in a daze. The temporary lapse in his defense allowed Bell to wrap their hands around his throat, squeezing enough to keep him there but not enough to cut off his full air supply. Yet.
Adler knew all too well that his life was in their hands, especially with his ears ringing and their weight coming to settle over his waist. He could fight, but the buzz in his head from the hit was making thinking difficult, much less fighting. He was so tired.
"You fucking cunt." Bell snarled. “How could you?”
"I can't trust you," gasped Adler, Bell’s hands tight on his throat.
"You made me."
"I didn't have a choice, it was orders."
"Oh we all have a choice, Russell. Fucking orders, since when have you ever given a fuck about those before?”
“The world was at stake, or did you forget?!”
“You shattered my whole world! You made me a new one and now you want to take it away too?" Bell’s hands shook as they held Adler down, the palms trembling against Adler’s bobbing throat.
"Alish-"
"You gave me a name have the fucking courtesy of using it!"
"Bell, please just listen-"
Bell’s hands squeezed even harder, reducing Adler’s voice to a rasp. The two of them were beyond frustrated. Bodies aching from the gunshots, hearts shattering into pieces. Bell was trying not to tear up from sheer frustration and anguish at being betrayed.
"My heart has wanted to trust you even though my brain has screamed at me to not. I could have lied to you. Told you Duga and led you to your death. I didn't. And now here we are,” spat Bell. “I gave you everything and you tried to kill me?!” “It was nothing personal, I couldn’t let it be personal.”
“You’re a bastard, Adler! After everything you put me through, after us, you have the fucking gall to look me in the eyes and say it’s not personal?!” Bell was screaming at him, rage and fire and deep pain in their eyes.
"What do you want me to do, Bell? Huh? Want me to give up my commission, betray the CIA to what, wine and dine you?”
That shocked Bell out of their rage for a moment, leaving only echoing sorrow and betrayal. "Is that what you want to hear? Yes? Yes, I wanted you to go beyond using me and actually see me? You give away too much, old man. Say it then. Say that you only ever saw me as the monster you created and we can end this."
"You're not a monster. But I can't give you what you want. I don't even know what the fuck you want!”
Bell leaned down, face by Adler’s ear, their weight keeping him in the grass. Their voice was low, barely heard over the wind. "I wanted you ."
Adler scoffed, disbelieving what he was hearing. “You shouldn’t.”
“I didn't follow you around the fucking globe like a lost dog only for your cause. You imprinted yourself onto my very fucking soul. How could I not?”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” said Adler, surging up against the choking pressure to kiss Bell.
Lips met in an angry clash of flesh and teeth. Neither knew if this was hello or goodbye. It was sparks hitting gunpowder, it was the first rumblings of an avalanche. Teeth set into lips and tongues took what they wanted without care. It was pure passion, rage and lust in equal measure. Bell broke away first, their eyes wild.
“I hated you. I loved you. I should kill you,” they spat.
“Then make it a good death.”
One hand left Adler’s throat so Bell could reach between them to grab at their erection. They could barely pull themselves out; their heartbroken rage made their hands shake. Adler struggled beneath them to do the same, buckles jingling loudly. The man hissed as he wrapped his hand around heated flesh. The two didn’t grind against each other, they only focused on their own selfish pleasure. Adler sunk his teeth into the meat of Bell’s shoulder. The pain made them cry out, their shouts lost to the wind.
Bell squeezed Adler’s throat tighter. Dark spots formed on his vision, the lack of air making him lose himself in the pure physicality of the moment. His oxygen-starved mind wanted Bell to feel the same. He wanted the two of them to be lost in the narrow tunnel between life and death, between pleasure and pain. Adler reached his free hand up to their throat, grasping just as tightly as they were doing to him. Bell leaned into the pressure, their face inches from him.
"Say it. Say that I'm yours, I don't care if you don't mean it,” they rasped.
"Bell…"
"Russ, fucking say it!"
"You're mine. You're fucking mine Bell. I made you, I own you.”
Bell snarled in rage at the words before diving down for another kiss, the meeting of their lips more teeth than anything else. They took Adler’s bottom lip between their teeth, biting down hard enough to draw blood. The sanguine taste only fueled both of their desperation, the ghost of Bell’s knuckles moving against Adler’s erection between his own frantic pulls.
The extra friction had the CIA agent far closer than he realized, but some spiteful, hateful part of him refused to fall over the edge first. He squeezed his free hand harder around Bell’s throat, a cracked gasp lurching from their throat at the added tension. Both of them stroked faster, Adler raising one of his knees between Bell’s thighs to press beneath their balls in an almost-painful pressure.
Another growl bubbled from Bell’s throat as Adler’s knee pressed underneath them, their hand twisting around their erection almost violently. They squeezed down one final time, putting nearly all their weight on Adler’s throat before their orgasm hit. The first stripe of salty cum streaked across Adler’s chest and hand, slicking his own strokes even further. Despite the grip around their throat, Bell choked out a moan, the sound resembling something like Russ.
At the sound of his name being groaned out in such an injured way, Adler couldn’t stop his own climax. The cum from Bell aided the slide of his hand as he fucked his hips up, thrusting only twice before he couldn’t hold back anymore. His orgasm whited out his vision, the pressure around his throat only making the white void seem more appealing. Every cell of his body felt light, his legs trembling in their place beneath Bell.
Far too soon, the pure bliss of orgasm faded into cold reality. Adler was covered in cum, still half-choking Bell, and pinned on a cliffside. As his arm trembled in its place, he silently wondered how long he had before Bell would finish the job. He couldn’t read the expression on their face. Bell sat back up, looking down at Adler, their eyes wide and blown out. Adler didn’t chase after them as they pulled away. In his heart he knew there wasn’t a winner in their clash; whatever cold fate awaited him was exactly what he deserved.
Bell looked down at their cum-covered hand. A part of them didn’t quite believe what had just happened. Bell wiped their hand off on Adler’s chest, streaks of white left behind on the blue of his jacket. The last dregs of their orgasmic high abandoned Bell. They were left with nothing but an aching void in their chest. Adler was supposed to kill them. The CIA had gotten everything they needed from their little science experiment and it was time to euthanize the lab rat. Bell spied their gun sitting in the grass. They grabbed it and held it out to Adler.
"Get it over with," they spat.
Adler took the weapon from them without a word. Bell sat down heavily. They looked out over the cliff side; it was too difficult to look at Adler while he killed them. Instead, they looked at the sea, at the sun, at the birds flying and diving. At anything other than Adler. They tried to steady their breathing. Bell didn't want to face their death shaking and crying. They had saved the world, after all, Bell could at least pretend to die bravely.
Adler stood, the weight of Bell’s gun impossibly heavy in his hand. Why? He couldn’t fathom why Bell had willingly given him the weapon. They had the upper hand, they had the gun, and he had come to terms with his end. What had made them throw it all away? Adler had a job to do; he knew that. He needed to dispose of Bell. Adler had his orders.
Adler cocked the gun and pointed it at Bell’s head. They flinched minutely at the sound but they didn’t move or even turn to look at him. Bell only stared out at the sea. They looked so small. No matter what Adler did he couldn’t stop his hand from shaking. The gun wobbled back and forth in his shaky grip. Pull the trigger, Russ, just get it over with. He had killed so many people in his lifetime it was hard to keep count. Bell should just be another tally mark on his soul. His finger twitched on the trigger but no matter how much he screamed at himself Adler couldn’t pull it.
He had a job to do.
In a split second, he made his decision. Adler would figure out how to regret it later. He reared his arm back and threw the gun over the cliffside. Bell barely had time to react before Adler was reaching down to grab them. He grasped the straps of their vest and hauled them up to their feet.
"Damn you,” said Adler.